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Take the Shot or Lose the Chance | Why You Should Just Go For It w/ Alex Hormozi — Transcript

by Dean Graziosi · 13,943 words · 1,894 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00if you have nothing going for you it's
0:01another way of saying that you have
0:03nothing to lose and so it means that you
0:04have endless shots on goal and so you
0:06should be the most prone to taking
0:07action because there's nothing holding
0:09you back own your future because if you
0:13don't someone else will
0:15welcome back to the own your future
0:18podcast you know I've been so blessed to
0:20bring on friends that are so cool and
0:23have so much depth of knowledge that
0:25this podcast has been doing incredible
0:26since since our new launch and I want to
0:30say thank you for that and today to say
0:32this gentleman's a friend I think
0:34everybody says that when they first do
0:36an interview this is my buddy
0:38Alex Our Guest interview here in a
0:40minute and I met via text effort and we
0:43spent like six months or you're getting
0:45to know each other I laughed every
0:46morning at our text you know what we
0:48laughed at before I introduced the
0:50formal stuff it was a time where both of
0:52us waited to invest in cryptocurrency
0:54and we both talked about it and we both
0:57equally went in the day it reached its
1:00peak am I lying like and then we decided
1:04that it crashed after that that we would
1:06not invest anymore because we didn't
1:08want to hurt the rest of the investors
1:10so anyway we built an amazing friendship
1:12uh via text we got together and hit it
1:15off he is truly one of the smartest
1:16marketers I've ever met smartest
1:18businessman he is an incredible husband
1:20he's a dear friend he's a good human
1:22being and I'm so glad we got to know
1:24each other yes he's built he built five
1:26companies in like record time over 120
1:29million dollars exited out of multiple
1:31companies now he's got a massive
1:32portfolio of companies that he's a part
1:34of that do over 200 million dollars a
1:36year in Revenue he's on fire on Zach was
1:38position.com you see them all over
1:40social media I'm so glad to have my
1:42friend here Alex hermosi what's up man
1:44that was like the nicest intro
1:46um thank you I'll do my very best to
1:48live up to that
1:49it's true man and listen the fun part I
1:52wish we could share some of the texts I
1:54literally remember being at the gym and
1:56I couldn't get back to it
1:58like a next set because I was still
2:01laughing so hard so it's been it's been
2:03a fun uh relationship you know um call
2:06it the own your future podcast you know
2:08why because
2:09Tony and I Robbins and I did a a a
2:11challenge about three years ago we
2:13called it own your future and I was on a
2:15podcast and someone said why would you
2:16want to own your future and my reply was
2:18well if you don't own your future
2:20someone else is gonna yeah and that hit
2:23me and I watched everybody's comment was
2:25like oh oh my God because you don't
2:27think about that your career could own
2:29you your old beliefs could own you yeah
2:31uh your your current income because
2:34you're not stretching yourself to to
2:36finally launch that business you were
2:37gonna could be owning you and I think at
2:39the end of the day we all want to own
2:41our calendar we want to own our
2:42decisions so that's why I went that way
2:44so we'll get into some fun stuff and if
2:46we can go personal because we're friends
2:48but I love that question what does that
2:50mean to you like
2:51what does it mean to Alex to own your
2:54future
2:55so I mean I think it means High agency
2:57so meaning like
2:59when we're kids it becomes real we learn
3:02what the world means through other
3:05people and so like you're you know you
3:07you have Luca and he's like what does
3:09that mean and what is that and so you're
3:10literally telling him what things mean
3:12and so like the first things we learn
3:14are only from the few people around us
3:16that tell us how to interpret the world
3:18and then once we turn 16 17 18 20 23 all
3:22of a sudden we're like I don't know of
3:24everything that every one of these
3:26people who told me what things mean
3:28were right yeah and so we spend the rest
3:31of our lives trying to unlearn what
3:32everyone has told us meant and then make
3:34up that meaning for ourselves wow
3:37that's an amazing and true because you
3:40the word that came in you're trying to
3:41decipher is that my father's perspective
3:43yeah or is that reality and what is
3:46reality yeah yeah and so that so my you
3:49know my my goal personally has been to
3:52dissect decisions and think like is this
3:55a decision that I'm making because I
3:57believe this or because of what I want
3:59other people to think about me as a
4:01result of this decision and we're social
4:04beings we care about what other people
4:06think and I don't think we're ever going
4:07to like get completely rid of that from
4:09us I mean you'd have to be you know
4:11Gandhi or whoever you know Buddha right
4:13but at least if I can try and be aware
4:15of how much something might influence me
4:17then at least gives me the the
4:19wherewithal to say okay warning flags
4:22this is a sensitive subject that your
4:24dad always wanted for you
4:26be extra careful around decisions that
4:28impact that go in this direction and so
4:30I can just take that extra pause of
4:32space and say okay is this really me or
4:35is this because I want him to think this
4:37about me wow and and like dad is really
4:40just a foil it could be your brother
4:41your sister your spouse your ex-wife you
4:44know what I mean that rival or the
4:45competitor whoever it is the the moment
4:48that I realized this in my life was
4:50I was 19 years old and at the time I was
4:53an angry 19 year old like some of us are
4:55and probably unrightfully so
4:57um but I really disliked both my parents
4:59uh really heavily and I remember
5:02thinking to myself like they messed me
5:05up I have all these anger issues like I
5:07hate everyone I'm alone with whatever
5:09and I remember catching myself blaming
5:12them and thinking to myself
5:14that means that I
5:16give them all the power in my life like
5:19that wherever wherever I point the
5:21finger of blame is also where the power
5:22follows it's like power follows blame
5:25yeah and so I was like
5:27well what am I going to do about it
5:29because maybe they did wrong it doesn't
5:30really matter
5:31it's only me who can who can own yeah my
5:36own future because otherwise they're
5:37going to own my future for the rest of
5:38my life and then the thing that made it
5:40crack for me was the idea that the
5:43people that I hated the most owned me
5:46that was the thing so like so it's like
5:48so these people that I hated and blamed
5:51then flipping it from the blame to they
5:54own me they have power over me I was
5:56like I never want them to have power
5:58over me
5:59and then that was actually the first
6:01real crack I had in like the damn of
6:03trying to like make my own life and
6:04start that was when I decided to not be
6:06pre-med because that was what my dad
6:07wanted me to be and like if there were
6:09many steps on this you know this journey
6:11but the first one of like just not being
6:12a doctor like him and being just saying
6:15like I want to get into business because
6:16it's like I'm way more interested in
6:17this stuff like you can imagine I was
6:19like shaking to try and tell my dad this
6:21um but yeah it was like I blame them
6:24they owned me I don't want that yeah you
6:27know I want to dissect this a little bit
6:28and I I can't wait to talk about some
6:30business things and things that I know
6:32people need in today's world but this is
6:34more important because what I always I
6:36love the term going Upstream I know it's
6:38simple it was it was a term I heard Tony
6:41Robbins talked about the medical field
6:42right it was a doctor pulls into a
6:45medical office and there's a stream buy
6:46and there's someone drowning he goes in
6:48you've heard this before and he goes and
6:49saves him and another doctor pulls up
6:51he's like help me help me save this next
6:52person save this next person and finally
6:55a doctor pulls up and looks and he goes
6:56come help us and he drives away and he
6:58stops he goes hey hey how come you're
6:59not gonna help us he's like I'm just
7:01gonna drive upstream and see who's
7:02throwing these people in yeah right it's
7:04like you you're never gonna get them all
7:06let's just stop the bastard throwing
7:08people in the Stream and that stuck with
7:10me so much that everything the reason I
7:12I love this podcast about business about
7:14marketing but really I want to go
7:16Upstream because the human condition
7:18that so many people are are watching and
7:20listening right now they think it's the
7:21marketing thing or the sales thing or
7:24the invention they have to have or maybe
7:26they didn't have the right employee or
7:27but really when you go up to that next
7:30level there are things sabotaging us
7:33today that we're put in our lives by
7:35parents by a teacher by an experience by
7:37a bad relationship if we don't solve
7:39that then there's no way we can go
7:41Downstream and clear up all the people
7:43right so thank you for for being
7:45vulnerable and sharing that because I
7:47would bet to say there's so many people
7:48watching today listening today
7:51that don't realize that someone else is
7:54owning their decisions based on the past
7:57and
7:58I'd love to know going deeper on what
8:00you shared is how did you really how did
8:03you make that like what was the thing 19
8:05is young to be able to recognize that I
8:08probably recognize that in my 30s and
8:10some people maybe never yeah and the the
8:13question I'll say is
8:16would you take any of it back because I
8:18think if you blame like if you blame
8:20your parents up to that they're like hey
8:22they didn't support me they want to be a
8:23doctor and if I'm not a doctor I'm
8:24nobody I'm a loser I'm pathetic you'll
8:26never make it we can laugh about some of
8:28the things we've talked about in our
8:29lives but like you're not going to make
8:30it you're going to be a loser you're
8:32blowing your life nothing will ever work
8:33and then when it does work you don't get
8:35the credit they're like well you got
8:36lucky it'll probably fail anyway right
8:38how do you get to a point to realize
8:42sorry I I see you shaking all right you
8:45know um how do you get to the point
8:47where you go wow thank God they did that
8:50because it drove me to be stronger
8:52faster more Innovative more creative and
8:55now you get to you know own your
8:58decisions yeah I think I think it's a I
9:00think it's an overtime process because I
9:02mean I certainly think when I was 19
9:04years old I was not there it was the
9:06first crack and the thing was just like
9:07I was so angry and so the idea and like
9:11I Define power is just like influence
9:12over someone else's events things people
9:14Etc and so like they were influencing my
9:17decisions which means they had power
9:18over me and it just sickened me to think
9:21that these people that I was so angry
9:23about I'm not saying was right or wrong
9:24but like at the time that these people
9:27I didn't want to give them that power
9:28and so I even think about this now
9:30sometimes even like big business
9:32decisions Etc I A lot of times we say
9:34like Society tells us or Society trains
9:37us whatever
9:38but if you really like listen to it
9:40there's usually like two or three voices
9:42or maybe just one yeah and it's like
9:44sometimes you're surprised and so one of
9:46the exercises I do when I have these
9:48decisions where I'm like I feel like I'm
9:49pulled in multiple directions I think I
9:50think I the thing I know I want to do
9:52and the thing that I have been trained
9:54myself to do that's not the thing I want
9:56to do is I just try and name the person
9:58who's stopping me from doing it and so I
10:01remember there was like when I was
10:02selling one of the businesses this was
10:03like the first massive deal that we were
10:05going to go through I started playing
10:07these voices just one particular
10:09entrepreneur that I know and I was like
10:11he's going to think that this isn't
10:12enough money now mind you it was it was
10:13a big exit and it's totally made up in
10:15my mind but I I had to write down his
10:17name and say like will I let this person
10:19stop me from exiting this company
10:22and when I saw it it just seemed so
10:24small and I was like no I'm not going to
10:26give him that kind of pout over my life
10:28I'm going to give this guy is going to
10:30influence my decisions gonna change the
10:31rest of my life because of a voice I
10:33have in my head that he doesn't even
10:34know I'm thinking about him and you know
10:35what before we go anything it sounds so
10:38silly as you write it once you wrote it
10:39down it was silly but how strong are
10:42those Voices All of You Listening
10:45watching right now that says oh you're
10:47too young for this you're too old for
10:49this right all of it you had someone
10:51said you don't sell that company unless
10:53it's 200 million yeah and and you're
10:54getting lots of zeros yeah and you're
10:56like question until you wrote it down
10:58and go am I gonna allow him and I think
11:00I think that's a big takeaway today is
11:03if something is holding you back in your
11:05life and you think it's your own
11:06insecurities it of course it is or your
11:09own beliefs but write down I love them
11:12I'm going to do that next time is
11:13literally write down am I not going to
11:15do this because of and do you really
11:17want to give them that power and it's so
11:19interesting when we talk about
11:19insecurity because most insecurities
11:21belong to someone else
11:23and so it's like who owns this
11:25insecurity of mine yeah and why did I
11:26inherit it right because if if because
11:28insecurity comes from other people's
11:29judgments so like you can't be insecure
11:32about something unless there's someone
11:33else making this judgment otherwise
11:34there would be nothing to be insecure
11:36about and so naming who owns that
11:39insecurity all it takes it from this
11:42really amorphous thing to like it's John
11:46really yeah wow it is John and sometimes
11:50it takes a couple you're like no it's
11:51not my mom no it's not you know it's not
11:53my uncle you know you know what
11:55it's it's that my colleague he's I work
11:58with him every day and I think that if
11:59he if he knew I quit my job he would
12:01think I was like not cool
12:03or it's the guys I used to go to school
12:04with if they know that I quit my job
12:06they would see me as a loser like my
12:08senior year you're a dreamer yeah like
12:10it's not gonna work right and they have
12:11all these good jobs and like I'm going
12:12to quit my stable job to go do this
12:14thing and I used to think like there's
12:16gonna be a short-term time where they're
12:17all making more money than me and they
12:18can buy things that I can't so here's a
12:20quick question yeah if
12:22decisions
12:25of the opposite side like the main side
12:28is don't let people unqualify talk you
12:31out of what you want out of life your
12:32broke friend telling you how to fix your
12:33relationship right or a broke friend
12:35telling you how to do your business a
12:36single friend on the relationship right
12:38we know that what helps fuel the
12:41confidence to keep going right because
12:43we all question ourselves how many times
12:45have we both you're an inch away from
12:46signing the deal yeah starting the new
12:49you bought a company yesterday there's
12:51always those moments right before you
12:53stroke a check with lots of zeros or
12:55start a new company start a new
12:56relationship say I do say I don't yeah
12:59right this is enough or this is the
13:01beginning all of those moments
13:04I I believe I'm gonna digress here I
13:07believe pressure yeah at least with me
13:09when I'm under pressure I can Resort
13:11back to the man I used to be right I
13:14think I'm I'm growing if I'm not
13:16climbing I'm sliding I'm growing
13:18emotionally physically like spiritually
13:20uh
13:21and then you get under pressure and
13:23sometimes you take a step back and you
13:25make a decision of the man that you were
13:26running away from or want to grow from
13:29so if if you can be bold enough to take
13:31that uncomfortable action and say no I
13:33I'm gonna sell this company because it
13:34makes sense for me I'm not giving that
13:36power to John I'm not giving this power
13:37to my parents what keeps you in the game
13:40so you can continue to make better and
13:42better decisions for you
13:45so is this I want to make sure I
13:48understand the question uh there's the
13:51what makes me confident to make the next
13:53to own my own decision rather than
13:55listen to someone else versus what keeps
13:58me going in terms of the bigger goal
13:59yeah I think the first first one yeah so
14:02I'm a big believer and this is a little
14:04bit contrarian
14:06um that
14:08proof is the best type of evidence for a
14:12trait and so rather than say like I'm
14:16I'm honest I'm honest I'm honest but
14:18like you're a crook like all the
14:20evidence points to the fact that you're
14:21a crook like I think that when you say
14:23that on some level you don't believe you
14:25because you know that's not true yeah
14:26and so
14:28I try and look at okay
14:30what experiences or things I've done in
14:34the past can I transfer that are close
14:37enough to this new thing so if I built a
14:40sales team at a weight loss company and
14:42then I really want to do this new gig
14:44that's at a chiropractor joint and it's
14:47also building a sales team can I say
14:48that that skill is going to transfer I
14:50have high confidence that I'll be
14:52successful in this thing that would make
14:54sense for me if I had built six sales
14:56teams over my career I'd probably be
14:58even more confident right and so the
15:00thing is is like if I'm listening to
15:02this borrowing Confidence from another
15:04experience in my life and so the the
15:06problem is what do you do when you're at
15:08zero when you're like I'm not confident
15:10I haven't done anything good right I've
15:12got no achievements to my name Etc
15:15I think that you're delusional because
15:18it's like if you were able like all you
15:20have to do is chunk down and think okay
15:22well what did I what did I do like let's
15:23be real what did I do today that was
15:25good well I woke up okay cool I got out
15:26of bed okay well I showed up to work on
15:29time okay so I'm punctual you know what
15:31I always show up to work on time that's
15:32okay I do do that right and I respond to
15:34things pretty quick okay I do so I'm
15:36responsible so it's you chunk down until
15:38you're like okay what things can I say
15:40that I have proof that I'm good at and
15:43then those become things that you can
15:44stack on top of one another because it's
15:46not delusional because let's say let's
15:47say mom says
15:49you're not you're blah blah blah but
15:51you're like no no no no I hear you but I
15:53have proof so like I get you of your
15:55opinion I have facts and so my goal in
15:58life has always been to stack as much
16:00proof as I possibly can to support that
16:02I am who I say I am even if you have to
16:04embellish a little bit of that proof
16:06right like even if you say I know I only
16:08did it at this level oh yeah but that
16:10same thing
16:11could get compounded 10 times it just I
16:14didn't have the eyeballs yet or I didn't
16:15have the experience or the time or the
16:16time yeah right yeah I love that thought
16:19and so that was that was that's always
16:21been my goal was like can I Can I stack
16:22enough evidence to give enough proof
16:24that I am who I say I am and then so let
16:26me ask you when you want to make a
16:28decision if you stack enough proof you
16:31look at the evidence yeah and you say
16:32I'm going to be pragmatic and say I did
16:34it here I'm going to do it here yeah
16:37what keeps you moving forward with that
16:39decision when you make a decision I'm
16:40asking you can you make decisions you
16:42just go no matter what do you burn the
16:44boats or are you one step at a time this
16:47is proving itself because I just know
16:49one thing yeah
16:51there's a middle ground between burning
16:53the boats and tipping dipping your foot
16:54in yeah right take the island burn the
16:57boats or let me just put my foot in the
16:58water and see there's a middle ground
16:59yeah but I see sometimes where people
17:02are they don't realize I know we're
17:04going off in a different direction but I
17:05think this is really important
17:07they don't realize deep down they're
17:08waiting for it not to work they're
17:10pretending they're moving forward but
17:12they're actually looking for evidence of
17:13it not working so they could say see
17:15Alex wasn't a great partner or Bob's not
17:17that into it or nobody 50 years old
17:19wants to lose weight they don't care
17:21like they're they don't realize it's
17:22like when you're sick and you Google it
17:24like I do have a brain tumor right
17:26you're not looking for no it's a
17:27headache take a Tylenol right so how can
17:31we help people realize that you you
17:33can't you can't go into if you decide
17:35I'm going to be pragmatic because I have
17:36proof I have past experience I'm going
17:39to do it yes you want to test but you
17:42gotta go in looking for the right
17:44outcome yeah
17:46it's it's a really tough quote because
17:49like I see this even and you know what
17:50and this is everyone who's listening it
17:51happens at every level I talked to
17:54Founders who are doing 100 million
17:55dollars a year and I'm like well have
17:57you tried this and they're like yeah we
17:59tried that like we've tried this and
18:00they're like oh we tried that I tried to
18:01this oh we tried that and I'll Name six
18:03other things and I'm like oh okay you're
18:05right you're screwed you're just never
18:07gonna succeed and when I say it like
18:09that they're like well and I'm like well
18:10which is it yeah and all of a sudden
18:13because like some people like to be
18:14contrarian because of like that's their
18:15nature they just want to disagree they
18:17want to prove it wrong they want to buy
18:18the course attend the workshop and then
18:20prove that they're a special Snowflake
18:22and I think you just look at like you
18:24can look at yourself in the mirror and
18:25be like you're right
18:26you are special Civic you are never
18:28going to succeed
18:30now what
18:32and I think on some level
18:34if you get if you if you get to that
18:35point then it's like well you have
18:37nothing to lose
18:38and I think in some ways that makes you
18:40more dangerous than anyone yeah and it's
18:43it's funny because like
18:45it's all about how you frame the
18:47position right and I used to tell
18:48because we had a big friend was
18:50listening like we had a big gym
18:51licensing company so we had thousands of
18:52locations and people would try and come
18:54into space and be like well how am I
18:56going to compete with you you've got
18:57this Big Brand blah blah blah and I was
18:59like you don't realize the advantage you
19:00have because and I'm gonna I'm gonna
19:02wrap this up to the point
19:03I was like if you're if I were you and
19:05I'm coming up against me I'm gonna say
19:07you're never going to see Alex Alex is
19:09never going to is Never Gonna help you
19:11with your gym is never gonna do X Y and
19:12Z you're just a number to him he's got
19:13this massive thing to me you're gonna
19:15get me it's gonna be personalized I'm
19:17gonna be super responsive I was like
19:18that's your position I was like on the
19:20flip side my position is gonna say I've
19:22been doing this for a decade I've got
19:24more success stories than every single
19:26other person put together and are you
19:27gonna trust this kid in his mom's
19:29basement who has no track record
19:30compared to me both both positions have
19:33advantages and so right now the thing is
19:35is that if you're day one you never get
19:38this back but you get to be
19:39underestimated
19:40there's no advantage to being
19:42overestimated unless you're weak right
19:46um but right now no one will see you
19:47coming if you have nothing going for you
19:49it's another way of saying that you have
19:50nothing to lose and so it means that you
19:52have endless shots on goal and so you
19:54should be the most prone to taking
19:55action because there's nothing holding
19:57you back what do you have nothing
19:59it's just it's literally just voices in
20:02your head from your mom who say that
20:03you're not going to win and you say
20:05you're right Mom and then you keep doing
20:07it anyways yeah I love in ogmadino's
20:09book I love the world's greatest
20:11salesman that's one of my favorite books
20:12and he talks about in one section most
20:15people let their mindset control their
20:17actions
20:18what if you let your actions determine
20:22your mindset do it when you don't feel
20:24like doing it move forward anyway and I
20:26think that's that's the part I want to
20:27share today before we get into what's
20:29next is how do you get the momentum when
20:31you're scared it's the uncomfortable
20:33action like and I would just say it's
20:34whatever it takes to get you to move
20:36forward if it's saying thank you for the
20:39the the the telling me I'm not gonna
20:41make it I'm an underdog that means no
20:43one will see me coming I must do it
20:45anyway like whatever it takes for you to
20:47move forward we must yeah and I think
20:49that's why I love these conversations
20:51because each thing will impact somebody
20:53says today's enough today's the day
20:55where i'm not settling today's day I
20:57will say yes I will say no I will move
20:59forward one thing before we move forward
21:02um I want to ask you is
21:03dude you're in amazing shape I worked
21:05out with you it's really difficult to
21:07work out with you you're so freaking
21:08ripped you you've sold your company
21:10you're buying other companies you
21:12decided to go on social media dude it's
21:13been fun watching you you've skyrocketed
21:15to the top you're all over the place
21:17um which is awesome
21:19what's one thing no one would know that
21:22still makes you scared at night when no
21:24one's around
21:25because most people think when they see
21:27success that you've killed all the
21:28demons there's no dragons left to slay
21:30yeah but is there still something that
21:32goes man I could go broke or this could
21:34go wrong or I'm not good enough or
21:37I think um it has it has it it obviously
21:40I think it shifts over time it does I
21:43think um and I think the answer if you'd
21:45asked me a year ago would have been
21:46different than it is right now
21:48um but the thing is that that keeps me
21:50up is not being good enough to
21:53accomplish what my dreams are now
21:55so like I there's there's I my dreams
21:58have expanded because of the proof that
22:00I have now so now it's like I'm setting
22:02goal posts that are bigger than I can
22:03really imagine and my fear is getting to
22:05the end of my life and not having
22:07accomplished those and then thing like
22:10I guess I wasn't good enough to do that
22:12thing and I think that like
22:14and I think I've had a little bit of
22:16time to be like all right is that really
22:17you know and I you know I play the
22:19mental game with myself but I would say
22:20on some level that's still a thing that
22:22um that
22:24keeps me up yeah and the reason I ask
22:26you that is because I have similar
22:27figures and no one would ever think that
22:29and it doesn't mean it should stop you
22:31from moving forward it doesn't stop you
22:33you still get up every day you still
22:34love what you do you still move forward
22:35you still make mistakes you still have
22:37some fears you still wake up someone and
22:39go what the hell am I doing right isn't
22:41enough is that maybe when you've sold
22:42your last company you could have been
22:43done yeah you and Layla could be doing
22:45whatever you wanted you went right back
22:47in investing the money and buying
22:49companies
22:50so what you just said about taking the
22:52action anyway right I think that going
22:55back to what we were saying earlier
22:56about giving yourself that proof that
22:58evidence it's like all you have to do is
23:00get the first piece of evidence
23:02and so it's like if you just take one
23:04action then you can start labeling
23:06yourself as like I am somebody who takes
23:07action because I have this proof right
23:09here and so it's it's just stacking and
23:12then you stack two or three of those and
23:13you're like you know what I'm on a
23:14streak and then you're like I am the
23:16type of person who does these things
23:17because and you said the mindset
23:19preceding the action right yeah this is
23:21this is the point that I was trying to
23:22get to
23:23um if the actions lead to the mindset
23:26then it means that the actions give you
23:27the evidence of the mindset you should
23:29have and so it's a really good point
23:31right I love that and so that gives like
23:33the actions become your evidence and so
23:36if you're like well I have no evidence
23:37then it's like then you can make
23:38evidence and that's how and guess what
23:39that's how everyone else did it what do
23:42they say about entrepreneurs you make
23:43up and you make it real yeah right
23:45I mean that's that's really what we do
23:46and we and to fuel that is the is the
23:48evidence you know if if anybody could
23:51see our it's funny it's kind of like we
23:52have fun alter egos sometimes when we
23:55text oh yeah
23:56I'm going bro
23:58I'm done it's over can I borrow money we
24:01had this joke about that we help each
24:04other whenever we can when it comes to
24:05our businesses just simple stuff when we
24:07brainstorm and I say hey if you sell
24:09your company for that much money I want
24:10everything to the right of the decimal
24:12and I still have the check I think you
24:14sent me a check for 46 cents so it was
24:16awesome I was hoping for 99 cents but as
24:20we joke there is truth in everything
24:22right
24:23um we joke oh my God you know what if
24:26what if the the dollar collapses yeah
24:28what if this country keeps the media and
24:31politicians keep making us think we
24:33should hate each other and we're so
24:34polarized that we're not focusing on the
24:36big prize we're worrying about the
24:38little things when other countries are
24:40exponentially growing and other
24:42companies starving like like there's
24:44there's so many things that we're
24:45distracted with it and right now people
24:47have a lot of worries are we going in to
24:49a recession could it be a depression
24:51could the dollar actually be replaced in
24:5420 years 50 years two years yeah I do
24:56right these some people are thinking I
24:59don't even that's I don't care about
25:01that and some people are worried every
25:02day about but there's so many things
25:04right now that are have been uncertain
25:06especially since covet happened three
25:08years ago and um you know it's like the
25:13rules of the game seem to be changing
25:15and I think it's caused this level of
25:18insert uncertainty and fear that I again
25:22I said earlier if when you're under
25:23pressure you kind of resort back
25:25sometimes when you're in your pressure
25:26you freeze yeah so I don't want to get
25:29into if the dollar is going to collapse
25:30and if we should invest in crypto or
25:32gold or real estate or companies or
25:34t-bills that could we could we could
25:37spend days on that I know
25:39but how do you get people how would you
25:41suggest people get clarity to navigate
25:45through this that's kind of the Upstream
25:47question it's a big question but
25:49wherever I go now it depends on where
25:50somebody is and what their economics are
25:52but most questions people will first say
25:54is Dean what should I do with my cash or
25:56can I actually make cash right now or
25:58should I actually want dollars should I
26:00invest in India and China right but
26:02Upstream how do you get people to get
26:04out of that uncertainty mode so they can
26:05make clear decisions so I I have a
26:09couple mental exercises that I actually
26:10go through for this
26:12um and so I try and reframe reality in a
26:14couple of ways one of them is I try and
26:16play out the absolute hypothetical worst
26:18scenario right and so the worst scenario
26:20is I die okay yeah then I won't be
26:23worried about it because I'll be dead
26:24right it won't affect me okay so like
26:26one degree less than that it's like okay
26:27well what if I go like I'm I'm
26:30reduced to the I have absolutely nothing
26:32it's like okay well real talk there are
26:35homeless kitchens and there are there
26:36are places that I could that I could
26:37crash and eat and whatever I'm like okay
26:40so I probably won't starve so actually
26:41probably won't die in the actual worst
26:43case scenario and when you look at
26:46people for subjective well-being in
26:48poorer countries there's often people
26:50who are happier on average than us in
26:52the US and so I think I reframe it as
26:55like well what problem are we solving
26:57and so if it's like well I'm worried
26:59about AI is it going to take my job and
27:01and will I lose all the money it's like
27:04well you'll probably be just about as
27:05happy and unhappy as you are right now
27:07because all of those things presuppose a
27:10single assumption which is that your
27:12circumstances dictate your mood or your
27:16happiness
27:17and so if and you all you have to do is
27:20listen to you know anybody who's made
27:22lots of whatever whatever the thing is
27:24for you they got the Grammy they made
27:25the movie that whatever it is right they
27:28all get there and they're like it didn't
27:29make me any happier yeah right change
27:31the thing and so we asked these
27:34questions about what if all these
27:35circumstances change but it has an
27:38underlying assumption that because the
27:39circumstances change I'm going to become
27:41less happy and that's what our fear
27:43comes from but if we disconnect our
27:46circumstances because if uh Victor
27:49Frankl in the Holocaust and I think
27:51about these examples because like I try
27:53and think of hypothetical extremes or
27:54like the millions of people who have
27:56been slaves in general across countries
27:59across time periods they all somehow
28:02actually manage to have kids survive you
28:06know like and keep doing and don't get
28:07me wrong I'm saying it's horrible but I
28:09use it as an example of how bad
28:11circumstances can be and yet humans
28:13continue to survive and so the you the
28:18problem mind right will always find new
28:21things to look at because it wants to
28:23keep you alive right because that's its
28:25objective but it doesn't want to keep
28:27you happy and so if we can just simply
28:30break the connection of the underlying
28:32assumption that whatever happens whether
28:34it's the dollar or the Yen or AI takes
28:37over the world because I I genuinely
28:39think I'm like well if AI takes
28:40completely over everything I'm like then
28:42my 401k doesn't matter too much right
28:44right so like I worry about these things
28:46that in the hypothetical extreme that
28:48I'm also worried about wouldn't matter
28:49and in my opinion I'll probably be just
28:53as happy or as unhappy as I am right now
28:55or as I have evolved in my awareness
28:58which will be disconnected from outside
29:00circumstance and so that's that's what
29:03but why I asked you because I know so
29:05many times that we've had conversations
29:06you have mental models or a framework
29:08around certain thinking because that
29:10that is so powerful thinking about the
29:13worst case scenario and if that actually
29:15did happen would you be happier or or
29:17less happy and the fact of the matter is
29:19I don't think it changes at all I'm
29:21going to give you one so everybody who's
29:22listening to this right now you remember
29:23when you were younger you were poor and
29:25you had nothing and guess what you still
29:27probably even think about that as the
29:28good old days yeah true story and so
29:31like why are we so afraid of going back
29:33to a scenario that in the future today
29:35we might be in the good old days
29:37yeah and it's like it's a weird mental
29:39phrase and you know what no the crazy
29:41part of that is if you're living in a
29:43future that could go wrong you're
29:45preventing yourself in the present from
29:47being all you can be yeah
29:49totally right and if you live in the
29:51present saying these might be the good
29:52old days you will take more risk you
29:54will have more courage to move forward
29:55you will make bold uncomfortable
29:58decisions in the moment
30:00rather than sitting on your hands hoping
30:02things don't go sideways one of my
30:04buddies my closest friend is a
30:05philosopher I know that sounds
30:06ridiculous but yeah that's like pretty
30:07much what he does
30:09um and he gave me this Frame called the
30:10frame of the veteran
30:11and so imagine you lose all your money
30:14right so it's a terrible thing actually
30:15let's go let's go let's go I'm gonna go
30:17micro really quickly and then we'll
30:18scale it up so let's say you're in
30:20traffic right and you hate traffic
30:21traffic sucks okay
30:23well if you've no if you if you're not
30:26in traffic normally and then you're in
30:27traffic it's terrible
30:29but if every time you got in the car
30:30from here until the day you die there
30:32was always traffic what would happen you
30:34would just get used to it yeah right and
30:36so you become a veteran it's just
30:37something that like this is just how it
30:39always is and so if you can
30:42if your mind can mentally weather itself
30:44to get to that point then it means you
30:45can apply that same frame to this moment
30:47that's inconvenient I had this this
30:48shirt that I liked a lot and the the my
30:51cleaning person like messed it up it
30:53sounds ridiculous
30:55and I thought about this and I was like
30:57well if every time and it was just
30:59shrunk too much that's all it was yeah
31:00and I was like well if every time I
31:02washed a shirt it always had this level
31:03of shrinking I was like would I really
31:04care I was like well no I guess not I
31:06was like okay
31:07I'm done with it and that was it but
31:09like I just remember that was the first
31:10time I ever used the frame of the
31:11veteran because you just told me and
31:12then I just got to apply it immediately
31:14and so I just give it a shot if you're
31:16like really stressing about stuff so I I
31:19love that framework and I always think
31:21about
31:23I heard Ed my let's say this once I
31:25always use it imagine I always thought
31:26of Imagine meeting the the person you
31:28could have been at you're at the end of
31:29your life yeah and my let's I think he
31:31said one time he's like imagine if God
31:32played you a video of the man or the
31:34woman you could have been if you would
31:36have been bold
31:38and if if you were at that moment of
31:41someone you know God has an iPhone pulls
31:42it out and said hey Alex if you weren't
31:44so afraid if you didn't go against what
31:46your parents said if you went and been a
31:48doctor yeah okay but this is who you
31:50would have been like oh my God what
31:51would you wish yeah let me go back and
31:53do it again yeah wish granted right if
31:55we can put ourselves in that moment yeah
31:57we can give ourselves that wish of
31:59saying no no this is not one of those
32:01things I want to regret at the end yeah
32:03right all right I'm gonna I'm gonna
32:04switch completely here love this
32:07conversation
32:08um
32:09sales
32:11influence impact
32:13you know persuasion whatever you want to
32:15call it so many businesses no matter if
32:18you're two employees 200 2 000 five five
32:22thousand a year to 50 million a year
32:24every company needs
32:26Focus exponential growth shifting
32:28Evolution innovation in their marketing
32:31and sales
32:32but so many startups and people
32:34launching their business
32:36not only they apprehensive they could be
32:39apprehensive the sales they could be
32:40they they were in a I feel we are in a
32:44in an error where sales is considered
32:47bad when it simultaneously it is the
32:49oxygen for every successful business
32:51that exists
32:54I have fallen in love with selling
32:56because of impact and have converted it
32:59to service
33:00in your life your evolution of sales
33:02what has been the biggest lift how have
33:04you fallen in love with sales you're
33:06amazing at what you do you provide an
33:07incredible product in everything you do
33:09what drives you and what could drive
33:11others to fall in love with sales
33:12through your lens
33:14so I see sales as helping the person
33:19you're speaking to realize that they are
33:22in power
33:23and
33:26the three things like if we CA like you
33:29know the more you sell the more you hear
33:30the same excuses right and so in a lot
33:32of ways selling is the first
33:33conversation to helping someone make
33:35decisions to help themselves
33:36and so there are three major buckets
33:38that
33:40that people use to blame right we said
33:42earlier about the where the finger blame
33:44goes so does the power and so the widest
33:46area of this is although think about it
33:49like an onion all right this is the best
33:51analogy I can give the outer layer is
33:53circumstances so they're going to blame
33:55money they're going to blame time
33:57they're going to blame some particular
33:58aspect of the thing that they're buying
34:00that's not perfect for them whatever it
34:01is right but that's the first layer yeah
34:04underneath of that they're going to
34:06blame other people they're gonna blame
34:07their partner their spouse their kids
34:09their wife their co-worker or whatever
34:10right that's the second layer and then
34:13the final layer is that you have
34:14somebody so if I if I make you realize
34:16like okay well the difference between
34:17self-made Millionaires and you is that
34:19you both started at zero so what's the
34:20difference they decided to do something
34:22right all of a sudden like like you can
34:25you can start breaking down each of
34:26these beliefs and with other people it's
34:27like I'll give you a common one it's
34:29like my spouse right my spouse won't let
34:31me do this it's like okay well let's
34:32play it out well if every time you want
34:34to make these decisions that are going
34:35to help yourself
34:36and every time your spouse says no three
34:39years from now I was like how are you
34:40guys gonna feel it's like I'll you
34:42probably resent your spouse because
34:43they've held you back this whole time
34:44and so what happens is you're actually
34:46giving your spouse the responsibility
34:48over your success in life
34:51that's not fair for them it's not fair
34:53to them not fair to your marriage and I
34:54was like so you're literally you're
34:56planting the seeds right now for a
34:57resentment tree to grow later
34:59and so what I think you want is you're
35:01you're thinking you need permission but
35:03we were asking well you actually need a
35:04support
35:05I love those two layers and what's the
35:07center piece the center layer is
35:10avoidance
35:11is so now you're talking to a person in
35:13power so it's like okay it's not the
35:15time it's not the money it's you know
35:16someone else yeah it's not other people
35:19what they try and then do is like I'm
35:21gonna think about it I'm not sure right
35:23it's avoidance now we could get into
35:25like is it shame is it fear is it
35:27self-doubt like whatever it is all I
35:29know is that they avoid the decision
35:30that I can observe they avoid the
35:32decision they just try they and so
35:35at this point we then at least if I'm
35:37trying to sell something to someone or
35:39trying to help someone make a decision
35:41I help them make the decision which is
35:43well what would it take in order for you
35:45to feel good about this and at what
35:47point is it unreasonable for you to not
35:49believe that this would work and so this
35:51is like for example if I had it's
35:53because I saw the zillion gym
35:54memberships back in my day yeah um
35:57if I said if someone's like well I'm
35:58just not I I need to think about it I'm
36:00like cool well what are the main things
36:02that you used to make the decision
36:04and the reality is that you think you
36:06need that right you think you need time
36:08what would you really want is
36:09information and so we conflate time for
36:11information so if I have more time I
36:13must get more information I was like but
36:14I'm your only source of information I
36:15was like so what's your main concern and
36:17let me give you that information right
36:18and sometimes you just ask like and like
36:20there's a lot of different ways of
36:21asking the same thing but just saying
36:23like what's the thing you don't want to
36:25have happen if you do this
36:27what are you afraid of having happen wow
36:29so good and a lot of times it just
36:31pierces right to the point where like I
36:32just don't want to buy another thing and
36:34my husband you know let me right and
36:36you're like real peace right and then
36:37you're like I got it
36:39I feel you I was like so what if we do
36:40this and like and then and then you can
36:42now you actually just have a real
36:44conversation exactly now we're not smoke
36:45screening we're actually getting to the
36:47real stuff and the thing is is that if
36:48you have like I love this this quote I
36:51don't remember I heard it but it was it
36:52was closer to ask hard questions right
36:54and so most people hate sales because
36:55they were not sold well
36:58like true sales doesn't feel like sales
37:01it just feels like making an informed
37:03decision with somebody who is an expert
37:04who helps you make the best decision for
37:06you yeah and you know what and this is
37:09what I what I train all the sales people
37:10to do I was like my goal is that you
37:13help the person that you're speaking to
37:15decide not that they buy
37:18make a decision even if the decision is
37:20absolutely no they made a decision yes
37:22and they walk out right not the
37:24miserable maybe right reasonable maybe
37:26right right that one down right another
37:28year of almost right who wants that and
37:31so it's like we like and this is again I
37:34I've trained a lot of sales teams and
37:35whatnot and so
37:36I'm like you have to train for no you
37:39have to expect no and this really comes
37:41with anything in life is that like if if
37:43every person you just said hey you want
37:44to buy the thing and they said yes I was
37:45like then you're not required we could
37:47just put up a page you know people just
37:49go on Amazon and click buy right and so
37:51we have to expect that the people who
37:53are coming to us and I train a lot of
37:55weight loss sales teams
37:56um
37:57if they could do it on their own they
37:59wouldn't be here right so we have to
38:01expect that they're going to have some
38:02demons in the closet that we gotta help
38:04we we like think about it like this
38:06you're side by side with them you've got
38:08a sword and they don't and they're like
38:10the monsters are in here and you're like
38:12all right let's open the doors right and
38:14like that's the role of the salesman
38:15it's like you can kill these demons in
38:17front of them be like it's not your
38:18husband's responsibility right it's not
38:20the fact that you don't have time
38:21because I can promise you there's
38:23someone who's had it worse who's done
38:24better yeah right and so you can you can
38:26have those real conversations and so for
38:28me that's where I get passionate about
38:29it because I think because real sales in
38:32real sales is service I mean yes you're
38:34serving that person because if it's a
38:35gym membership they've been putting off
38:37getting themselves in shape forever and
38:39if you quit before you get to the root
38:41cause the peeling back the onion to get
38:43to the avoidance to the avoidance leads
38:46to the root cause of why they're not
38:48going to the gym if as a salesperson you
38:50got to solve that and they were in the
38:52gym then you did good for the World by
38:54selling and in every business that I've
38:57been a part of every business I consult
38:58with if that sales is service mindset
39:01doesn't exist if it's just what is the
39:04average ticket how much are we getting
39:05what is that lead worth I know that
39:07company's not going to make it yeah but
39:09when you and you know this because
39:10you're buying companies faster than
39:11anyone I've ever seen when you go into a
39:13place where they're heart centered and
39:15service oriented
39:17and they have an amazing sales floor to
39:19get people to take the action it changes
39:21their lives that's a company I put money
39:22in
39:24so I'm going to give you guys like the
39:26secret like the real like the key
39:27ingredient to making this work and
39:30it's not it's not it's not like some
39:33words it's not because the thing is is
39:35that humans are exceptionally good at
39:36smelling out when someone's lying we've
39:38here we've thousands of years of
39:40evolution to see if someone's gonna
39:41trick you and then you know steal your
39:42food or whatever it is like we're
39:43actually really good and intuitively
39:45like you don't know if someone's lying
39:47but you're like I just feel off about it
39:48yeah right and so there's one thing that
39:51I know well there's two things that can
39:52fix it one is years and years of
39:54training of trying to fix your tonality
39:56pausing at the right time
39:57speaking fast if I really want to get
39:59someone really excited or slowing down
40:00so that you really pay attention to what
40:02I'm saying right now right like you can
40:04shift how you're feeling like pros can
40:06do that because they've trained for it
40:07but if you're a beginner there's one
40:09thing that's even more powerful than
40:11that which is just you just believe in
40:12it and so here's my example for you have
40:15you ever bought something that you were
40:17like this is amazing right and when you
40:19go to your aunt you're like you got to
40:20try these shoes on they're so are like I
40:22got this new thing that covers yeah and
40:24the thing is is the way you talk about
40:26it that's what gives you conviction and
40:28I'll ask a question that might you know
40:29trigger some people but
40:31um if you've ever met somebody who who
40:33found a new religion right and they're
40:35like on fire about the religion if they
40:37say it enough sometimes the person who
40:39believes more you're like maybe I'm
40:41wrong about this depending on how
40:42convicted they are and so the thing that
40:45will fix your tone will fix the things
40:47that you will say is actually believing
40:50in the product and so we see this with
40:52sales teams and I can tell you I can fix
40:53a sales team rather than training them
40:55on drilling obstacle overcomes and
40:57things like that by simply saying
40:59what's happened in the last
41:01seven days 14 days 30 days that made you
41:03believe in this less
41:06and
41:08solving for that and sometimes there's a
41:10legitimate problem with a product or a
41:12service and it's like we're on it and
41:13then we start giving them updates every
41:15day of the things that we're doing to
41:17solve the problem that they brought up
41:18so right so it's like we're just fixing
41:21the act like we're getting to the heart
41:23of the fall in love with what you're
41:24selling right because if you don't
41:26believe in it you know what you
41:27shouldn't sell it that's the real like
41:29if you don't believe in it you shouldn't
41:30sell it and the problem is so many
41:32people sell things they don't believe in
41:33to make a paycheck and that's why sales
41:36get a bad name exactly yeah so when
41:38people it's funny I love I love I love
41:40listening I love being a student and I
41:42love hearing this when people say to me
41:43how did you guys do the biggest launch
41:45how do you so good at sales what I
41:47always say is because I love what I do
41:49so much that I feel bad if they don't
41:50get it yeah and and people are always
41:52looking people say give me the secret to
41:54say like just what you said is it to
41:56slow down is it the speed up yeah I've
41:58never studied any of that right I've
42:00just fallen in love again back to ogmond
42:03Dino's book the world's greatest
42:04salesman is second the most important
42:06one is I will meet this day with love
42:08and he said they might not like my
42:10clothes they might not even like my
42:12product they might not like my voice my
42:14complexion but if I'm in my head saying
42:16I love you yeah I know it sounds a
42:18little hokey but if they're saying I
42:20love you there's no they way they could
42:22say no to me because if you meet this
42:25day with love if you don't just love
42:26your product don't just love the the
42:28success of your company you actually
42:30love the person you're serving yeah you
42:32wouldn't sell them something that sucks
42:34but you also wouldn't do them the
42:36disservice of them not having it right
42:38if you if you fall in love with the
42:39movie you want everybody you love to go
42:41see it you fall in love with going vegan
42:43you are praising from the roof my
42:46arthritis went away I feel better goby
42:48again yeah right when you love a product
42:50or a service or the company you're
42:52launching or the coaching program you're
42:53not selling you're feeling bad by not
42:56persuading someone to take that action
42:58and when I see that passion in someone
43:01or a company I know where they're going
43:03top the number one salesman for like the
43:06last five years at my old company
43:09you could listen to his sales calls and
43:11he was unbelievably persistent but it
43:14wasn't in a pushy or coercive way I
43:17would watch these sales calls and
43:19someone you know someone would be on
43:20like their sixth now and he would just
43:21he would take his glasses off and he'd
43:23rub his face and he's like
43:24Pete I'm not giving up on you man
43:27he's like you said that you're
43:29struggling to pay your mortgage right
43:30now and like I know because I have all
43:33of this proof behind me that like
43:35there's something that's stopping you
43:37emotionally from doing this like help
43:38like let's work on this together let's
43:40figure this out decision right exactly
43:42and so the thing is is it what like I
43:44love saying this is that it's not
43:47sales is a dance not a fight
43:50right you're just you're just working
43:51with the person and the thing is
43:53I if you're ever selling a physical
43:55environment you always want to be on the
43:56same side of the table because it really
43:57signals what the relationship should be
43:59which is we're on the same side of the
44:00table here I'm trying to help you make a
44:01good decision and you know what and this
44:03is the thing that about having Integrity
44:05as a salesperson
44:06is that if you find out while you're
44:09talking to them that it's not a good fit
44:10then you will be able to you will sell
44:13so much better if you let a couple
44:14people go that you know it's not going
44:16to be a good fit for because then you
44:18know why you're doing it because then
44:20you have more conviction in yourself
44:21that it's not that I just sell every
44:23person with a heartbeat I sell the
44:25people that I think really need this
44:26thing and some people might not need
44:28this thing because they have a different
44:29demon they got a slightly you know what
44:30then make them a recommendation because
44:32you do care about them rather than the
44:34sale yeah so conviction over commission
44:36like that's the and that's at the end of
44:39the day it boils back to that love thing
44:41that service thing that caring thing and
44:43it is the unfair advantage to sales like
44:45I love I love hearing your perspective
44:46you're so good at sales uh Alex I've
44:49I've watched this training I've watched
44:51you train it I watch you talk about it
44:52but it always starts with that caring
44:55yeah and I've never met anybody
44:56consistent listen I can see someone
44:59who's got a business doing a million a
45:01year and when I watch them and I'm not
45:02saying a million years bad please I I'm
45:04not a millionaire is amazing but they
45:07want to go to 10. yeah and I could tell
45:08the way they sell I could tell what
45:10they've rehearsed they don't believe in
45:12what they're doing and in my head I know
45:14you will never pass that there's no way
45:17Beyond where you are unless you change
45:19how you feel if you sell someone and
45:22then think gotcha
45:25because what happens is one you'll
45:27Foster a whole Army of people who hate
45:29you but secondly like that like if you
45:32have any ethics at all which most people
45:33do I actually think a lot more people
45:34have ethics than other people give
45:36credit for it starts to eat at you and
45:38Dean and I have been doing this business
45:40game enough to see we've seen people
45:42bottle rocket their way up and then
45:43fizzle Bottle Rock it up and then fizzle
45:45they create another new product every
45:47every 12 weeks because right if it's
45:50crypto they got a crypto program if it's
45:52if it's AI there's a new AI program
45:54rather than going deep falling in love
45:57and actually making Transformations so
45:59if if you're in business starting a
46:01business thinking about business even in
46:03your career what if tomorrow
46:05if we challenge you to say how can I
46:07fall in love with this business how can
46:10I fall in love with my product and if
46:12you don't love it here's what I'll tell
46:14you just go fix it go fix it I love this
46:17so I'm gonna go real deep on this real
46:19quick so
46:21it's usually like I'm I look at a lot of
46:24businesses every day it's usually the
46:26biggest most obvious thing is that the
46:28like the sandwich shop isn't doing well
46:29they're like it's our marketing it's
46:30it's the location I was like your
46:32sandwiches just aren't that good
46:34that's all it is they're just not
46:36they're just not good enough that's all
46:38like they're like we just need more
46:40customers I was like if you serve the
46:42customers you had well enough you
46:43wouldn't have this conversation with me
46:45you'd already have a line out the door
46:46every day at lunch when you have the
46:47same I mean we're using a sandwich yeah
46:49when you have a killer sandwich yeah
46:51what do you do you post it yeah anybody
46:53wants to see a post about food like
46:55please why right but you do compared to
46:58good and you and I both know some
47:01companies we talked about one earlier
47:02that's a really good marketer yeah but
47:04the company's kind of like a calendar
47:06that you put spaghetti in yeah they
47:09market so good but they keep falling
47:10through the holes because their products
47:12not amazing yeah and this is that this
47:15is at least my hack for getting
47:16conviction okay so like I my next book's
47:19coming out
47:21um I spent 2 000 hours writing it wow
47:23and my editor spent 1500 hours so it's 3
47:26500 hours of time went into this thing
47:28and I'm not saying that for the book but
47:29I'm saying my understanding of the level
47:32of effort that is required to make
47:33something that is world class excellent
47:35has continued to move up my bar and my
47:38expectation of self and so like the guy
47:40who has the sandwich shop I sometimes I
47:42sit down at places I'm like how did
47:43someone think this is my life's work and
47:45they made this sandwich I'm like if I
47:47were gonna open a sandwich up I'd spend
47:48a year trying every sandwich I possibly
47:51could and thinking like how can I make
47:52I'd go to the best I would drive to the
47:54best sandwich shops and think like okay
47:55how do they set up their menu what are
47:57the few items that they have like how do
47:58they Source their ingredient like it's
48:00doing the actual work because the thing
48:03is is that when you do that work and I'm
48:05about to invest in a company that does
48:06no strips so it's kind of exciting
48:07because I've I've like you've had no
48:10strips on my whole life yeah I know and
48:11I was like and I was telling this guy
48:13the the the the Creator and I was like
48:15this is what we need to look at in terms
48:17of how long the residue stays on your
48:18nose he's like and I was like how how
48:20much coverage it has uh how long it
48:22sticks I was like I think the plastic
48:23seems to be firmer and I'm like naming
48:24all these things he's like no one has
48:26ever broken down our Pro with all this
48:28detail and the thing is is that once you
48:30fix every single one of those things you
48:32make sure it's toasted for exactly 17
48:34seconds and you make sure it gets
48:35flipped at this way and this time why
48:37because you did it at 30 you did it at
48:39five and you found out that 17 was
48:41perfect
48:42when you go to talk about the sandwich
48:44you'll have the conviction that's what I
48:47was going to say is and people don't
48:49realize they're saying well I have a
48:50good product but it doesn't sell I is
48:52that true yeah because when you know
48:55that product is the best the conviction
48:57goes through the roof sales go through
48:59the roof what a what a I'm so glad I
49:02asked you that question about sales
49:03today because no because listen you see
49:06more companies than me I'm in a place
49:08right now I don't have time to consult I
49:10don't have to I invest in about a
49:12company a month but small I don't take
49:13them over I just invest them but we have
49:15so much opportunity coming our way yeah
49:17and I see the companies that are stuck
49:19especially for years when they asked me
49:21to consult on sales or marketing yeah
49:23it's because they don't have conviction
49:24they and it's such a great analogy I'm
49:27going to think about this for the rest
49:27of my life they're selling a crappy
49:29sandwich and trying to overlook trying
49:31to fix it with better marketing the
49:34magical money machine better that better
49:37opt-in funnels better upsell process
49:39like no just go fix the sandwich right
49:41and that's the work that has to be
49:43confronted and that's the work that most
49:45like because if you got into the
49:46sandwich business because you wanted to
49:48make money
49:49then that's why you're not passionate
49:50about like I can talk about no strips
49:51all day because I've I've had two nose
49:53surgeries like I just breathe bad and so
49:56I know all the different things I've
49:58tried every single brand and I've done
49:59them all for 30 40 50 whatever days and
50:01I can tell you all the differences about
50:03them because it's I'm passionate you can
50:04see how I'm talking about like I'm
50:05passionate about it which is ridiculous
50:07but like but if you have that for the
50:09product or service that you're you're
50:10getting into you'll know the details
50:12well it's why mastermind.com with Tony
50:14and I yeah we've been in the
50:16self-education industry for so long it
50:18changed our lives it made us better
50:19humans it allowed us to take care of our
50:21family we get to feed you know between
50:22him and him way more than me but
50:24hundreds of millions of people like we
50:25get to do this cool stuff so when I talk
50:27about selling what you know or creating
50:29an information product or
50:32I'm not it's my life I I would I'd be
50:34fixing cars if that didn't come into my
50:36life so it's not if my conviction is an
50:3911 out of 10. yeah
50:41I'm gonna give you this line for
50:42everybody who's listening to this so
50:44conviction is the like if you've gotten
50:46anything from what Dean and I were just
50:47talking about is that conviction is the
50:48number one secret ingredient to sales is
50:49that you actually have to believe the
50:51thing is it's the first person you
50:52always have to sell is yourself and most
50:53people actually aren't sold number one
50:55number two is that conviction itself is
50:58not binary it's not do you believe or do
51:00you not believe it's how much do you
51:02believe how deep do you believe wow
51:04right yeah and so you can look at a
51:06sales team and I can say like he's a
51:07he's a two out of ten he's a four out of
51:09ten if I were to just judge them based
51:11on how much they believe in the product
51:12that would map significantly more to
51:14what their closing percentage was more
51:15than anything else wow but the cool
51:17thing is is that because conviction is
51:20measurable and it is changeable it's
51:22also something that you can work on and
51:24you can outwork yourself doubt
51:26so if you're not like if if I didn't
51:29think the book was good that I would
51:30work on the book until I thought it was
51:32good and then my doubt would go away
51:33because I have evidence wow that I've
51:35done this thing to make it exceptional
51:37and so if someone then says I think your
51:39book's I would just say like well
51:41here's all the evidence of all the
51:43things that I did like I reworked back
51:45all the way he's talking about the
51:46beginning 100 and so I want to say your
51:48first book it was purifier I have
51:51recommended that book Thank you more
51:53than any other book especially when it
51:54comes to marketing and sales what's the
51:56name of your new book coming out can you
51:57share it or not no no I can't 100
51:58million dollar leads 100 million dollar
52:00leads yeah yeah it's when does that come
52:02out July July so yeah make sure you put
52:05that in your calendar how can people
52:07follow you uh we're not done yet but I
52:10just want people to be able to follow
52:11you uh I mean if you're on the podcast I
52:13have a podcast called the game uh Alex
52:15you can just type my name in but pretty
52:16much on every social media platform so
52:18Twitter LinkedIn Instagram YouTube If
52:20you don't have his first book 100
52:21million dollar offers yeah it's on
52:23Amazon it's on Amazon go get it and and
52:25be on the lookout okay and so you know
52:26it's we made it uh as cheap as Amazon
52:28will let me make it and make it a book
52:30still so if you if you're strapped for
52:31cash it's 99 Cents for the Kindle like
52:33it's just I just wanted as many people
52:34to have it as possible well and a lot of
52:36people got it so yeah nice work no it is
52:38it is my go-to when somebody under ask
52:40me questions I'm like go get that book
52:43uh
52:44we've about in the last four or five
52:46podcasts people have asked me a question
52:48a lot of times in life same as you
52:50people are always like damn how did you
52:52do this how'd you do that so I know you
52:53said earlier you got one for me oh what
52:55pain do you cherish
52:58I knew you'd get a good one I knew that
53:01would be good
53:03what pain do I cherish
53:05um
53:07I know the answer though incredibly I
53:09know the answer is uh so I'm gonna make
53:12it light for a second so Alex and I are
53:16the co-founders of the DLB club uh
53:18daddy's little boy
53:20um
53:21we both had a time in our lives when we
53:24wanted to go for our own thing that our
53:26dads weren't so supportive I won't go
53:28deep on it and we have some similar uh
53:30life stories of that'll never work
53:33you'll it'll you know so there was one
53:36day Alex I don't even know how it
53:37started but I I said to you I said I
53:39called you daddy's little boy or
53:40something and we just we laughed so hard
53:42I think I dropped my phone yeah
53:44but if we take the funny part out of
53:46joking about the daddy's little boy club
53:49um that sounded weird but
53:53when I was um when I was about 12 years
53:57old my my father was the youngest of 12.
53:59I'm gonna take just two minutes to give
54:00you context this question
54:02um
54:03when I was my dad was the youngest of 12
54:05was physically abused he was sexually
54:07abused come from an old school Italian
54:09family so he did not get help he just
54:12suffered through it and my dad had so
54:14much resentment for his own father who
54:16knocked his teeth out like that he he
54:19was confrontational with everybody and
54:21couldn't control never physically beat
54:22me but I had a bleeding ulcer at 11
54:24years old I threw up blood at 11 because
54:26my dad would fight with everyone if we
54:27went to a restaurant and the waiter was
54:29rude five minutes later my dad would be
54:30on the floor punching a guy in the face
54:32like a flag guy doesn't hold the flag
54:34fast enough my dad's on the side of the
54:36road fighting a construction guy like
54:37like my dad hit a guy with a bat in
54:40front of me when I was like and I I hate
54:41confrontations that I don't watch fights
54:43I can't I don't watch you know extreme
54:45fight I watch none of it because I still
54:47don't like it long story short when I
54:49was 12 my mom got remarried to a guy who
54:51was amazing his name was Lenny Rizzo it
54:53was her high school sweetheart she
54:54married this guy he was the most amazing
54:56stepdad had stepbrother stepsisters got
54:58a Mongoose BMX bike that we couldn't
55:00afford before that I lived in a
55:02cul-de-sac it was like I went from the
55:04trailer park to oh yeah right and my dad
55:07couldn't handle it and there was one day
55:09my dad my stepdad my dad was screaming
55:12me yelling at me I was shaking and I
55:15could talk about this stuff now my dad's
55:1687 still alive and I talk about this in
55:19front of him he knows and and I know
55:20he's got the he's got a pound of regret
55:22a thousand pounds of regret but anyway
55:24my stepdad says to my dad he's in
55:27Florida we're in Upstate New York he
55:28said hey
55:29why don't you calm down you don't know
55:31what this is doing to your son you can't
55:32see your son until you calm down my dad
55:36got in the car drove 14 hours straight
55:38to our house with a bat knocked windows
55:39out of cars yeah we got so scared I know
55:42it's a long story but I want to share
55:44this with you because most people don't
55:45understand we all have our so
55:51we get in a motorhome and we hide from
55:54my dad for a month we're going from
55:55campground to Campground and we can't go
55:57home we're afraid right so finally I get
56:00my older sister we walk downtown this is
56:02how long ago it was I bring a quarter go
56:04to a paid phone and call my dad he picks
56:06up the phone where the hell are you
56:08where tell me where you are right now
56:09and like Dad just gotta stop and like
56:12you know sometimes you got to mature up
56:13I was Manning up at 12 or 11 whatever it
56:16was and I said how will this stop God I
56:19can't take it anymore and I was afraid
56:21for my mom I thought he was going to
56:22kill her like I didn't know I don't
56:23think he would but I was afraid he
56:24threatened he was going to kill her I
56:25thought he was gonna yeah I know this is
56:27getting deep but I wanna I wanna answer
56:28this question and I said he said move in
56:31with me
56:33I'll leave her alone for the rest of her
56:34life I walked back said Mom moving in
56:36with Daddy she's like are you insane no
56:38I said I am you can't stop me I called
56:40him up he's picking me up I walk back
56:42down to pay Booth my father picked me up
56:43I moved in with my dad
56:45I moved in with my dad
56:47and when I got there he didn't have heat
56:49in his house because he couldn't afford
56:51it and he had an electric heater plugged
56:53in and at night he was sleeping in the
56:54bathroom because a little electric
56:55heater could eat the bathroom slept in
56:56the bathroom for six months with my dad
56:58never told my mom said it was fine
57:00and my dad literally I realized Now That
57:04I'm Older bipolar whatever you want to
57:06call a little bit of schizophrenia would
57:08be the greatest man in the world let me
57:09drive to school at 15 years old taught
57:11me how to hunt fish do all kinds of cool
57:13things and also the guy that gave me a
57:14bleeding ulcer long story short the pain
57:17of when my dad lost it was so bad I
57:19would shake and and be fearful and I
57:22thought it was the worst thing in the
57:23world but over time by the time I was 14
57:25or 15 I could read my dad's mood I could
57:27feel his emotions and I knew how to
57:30treat him in advance so I could keep him
57:33out of Crazy Paws thanks Paul and be
57:35more of the dad that I could love
57:37and at the time I thought what a burden
57:40for a kid my age I have to deal this I
57:41can't tell my mom can't tell my sister
57:43because it'll cause and I was
57:44afraid if I told him he would kill my
57:46mom like that's how serious it was for a
57:4812 year old a 14 year old now I look
57:50back that was the greatest gift in the
57:52world God gave me I feel I can go in
57:53front of an audience of 30 000 or next
57:56week I'll be in front of an audience of
57:57a half a million I could go from a half
57:59a million people and I think I can feel
58:01what they need and it's because I had to
58:03feel what my dad needed I had to do it
58:05through empathy and compassion it wasn't
58:07just a normal father-son relationship
58:09and I think I get to sell the way I sell
58:12I get to care the way I care I get to
58:14build I built 13 different companies I
58:16get to do all that because of that
58:19I went through so it took me a long time
58:21to get there and that was a long answer
58:23but hopefully that helped somebody today
58:25it was a real answer yeah so man I
58:28appreciate you so much thanks for being
58:30a friend thanks for all you do for the
58:31world the last couple podcasts as well
58:34I'm just getting in the in the groove of
58:36this and I thank God for all your
58:37listeners thank you for sharing go less
58:39listen to the last three you got great
58:41ones Matthew McConaughey was amazing
58:42Trent Shelton was amazed there's so many
58:44good ones go listen the last three uh
58:45make sure you um share it with a friend
58:48we'd love to get this out there we do
58:49these podcasts for free for you if you
58:52love it share it with somebody
58:53um
58:55but lastly I'd love to ask if there's
58:56someone in your life you'd like to thank
58:58whether it was something they did wrong
58:59that inspired you or somebody that just
59:01is the gas to your engine or the wind
59:04behind your sail who would you like to
59:05think
59:06it's a Layla yeah yeah I think I know
59:09that for sure yeah I mean I mean
59:11it's just it's honestly of all the
59:14things that we that you know we I
59:16already think this way like we have
59:17accomplished because it's been you know
59:18she and I even though I had businesses
59:20before her
59:21um
59:22like
59:25I think I think our marriage is rarer
59:27than our business success
59:28in terms of like percentage of people
59:30who who you know do anything
59:33um and so I'm very grateful for that
59:35because
59:36for the women who are listening or the
59:39guys actually everyone
59:40um I had a decent amount of success when
59:42she and I met and pretty much within
59:44like
59:45three or four months after we met uh she
59:48went all in on me and then I lost
59:50everything
59:52um and I didn't just lose everything
59:54once I actually lost everything twice uh
59:57and it's it's a story we'll tell it
59:59another time
1:00:00um but at the like the absolute rock
1:00:02bottom of that whole period of time I
1:00:04actually told her I thought she should
1:00:06leave me I was like I because I'm
1:00:07self-aware enough I was like listen
1:00:09there are better guys out there who will
1:00:11treat you like you know I respect her I
1:00:13cared about I was like we're cool like
1:00:14if you leave like I'm good like word I
1:00:17respect you and I and I was trying to
1:00:20sell her on leaving me
1:00:22and she grabbed my chin and she pulled
1:00:24it towards me and she was like I would
1:00:25sleep with you under a bridge if it came
1:00:26to that and like I think wow that kind
1:00:30of conviction like we talk about
1:00:32conviction right to go full circle is
1:00:33that in some ways like she sold me on me
1:00:36uh and so she was like I guess that was
1:00:39her you know burning the boats I'm
1:00:41sleeping at her parents house people I'm
1:00:43not we're not married yet I'm I'm just
1:00:45the guy she met on the internet who lost
1:00:48everything and now we're crashing at her
1:00:49parents house for a little bit like real
1:00:51winner and that's the moment where she's
1:00:53like I'll sleep with you under bridge if
1:00:55it comes to that and I think that that
1:00:58I think every guy stands the power of
1:01:00that I have that in my relationship and
1:01:02I feel Beyond blessed that I could
1:01:03answer the same way but I get to see
1:01:05that in you it's not a you guys don't
1:01:06have an Instagram relationship it's a no
1:01:09it's a it's an amazing connection and I
1:01:10knew you'd say that
1:01:12you led me on no yeah no she's so that's
1:01:15to Layla because she's and Layla if
1:01:16you're listening you are awesome Alex
1:01:18thank you so much man I appreciate you
1:01:20coming in today to be here in person and
1:01:22thank you again for watching the own
1:01:23your future podcast again if you love it
1:01:25listen to the last three share it and we
1:01:27have a newsletter at deansnewsletter.com
1:01:29see you next time
1:01:34[Music]
1:01:40thank you

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