Successful English Small Talk at Work | English Conversation Practice — Transcript

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1. 0:00For better or worse,
2. 0:01it isn't possible to introduce yourself to someone new and
3. 0:06instantly become friends with them. That really wouldn't make sense. Would it?
4. 0:11You can't be friends with someone you don't know yet.
5. 0:15So how do you make a transition from introducing yourself to a new
6. 0:19team member,
7. 0:21to having a weekly lunch date on Tuesdays with someone you work with?
8. 0:25The answer to that is simple. Small talk.
9. 0:28Now I know we all hate small talk,
10. 0:31or we say that we hate small talk.
11. 0:34We have this idea that it's something hard, stressful,
12. 0:38uncomfortable, boring, or even meaningless. And sure,
13. 0:43it's true. Small talk tends to be polite,
14. 0:47but unimportant conversation.
15. 0:50We also worry over what kinds of questions we can ask or what is
16. 0:54appropriate in small talk. I'm Annemarie with Speak Confident English.
17. 0:59This is exactly where you want to be every week to get the confidence you want
18. 1:04for your life and work in English. In today's video,
19. 1:07you're going to learn how to make small talk in English, easy, fun,
20. 1:12and successful so that you can get to know a new coworker and
21. 1:17develop better relationships with the people that you see at work regularly.
22. 1:21By the end of this lesson today,
23. 1:22you'll be ready to start asking questions at work and enjoy conversations
24. 1:27with your coworkers.
25. 1:28[
26. 1:35inudible].
27. 1:35To get started,
28. 1:35let's do a quick recap on why small talk is so important
29. 1:41and how it can help you develop relationships in English.
30. 1:44Small talk is the pathway to learning something new about a
31. 1:50coworker, finding a meaningful connection with someone,
32. 1:53discovering a potential new friendship and having fun in a
33. 1:58conversation.
34. 1:59So whether you want to get to know one of your coworkers better,
35. 2:04or you've just introduced yourself to a new team member,
36. 2:08here are three different ways you can start small talk conversations
37. 2:13successfully, and I'll include examples along the way.
38. 2:16Option number one is start with a compliment and then add a
39. 2:21connected question. This is definitely a strategy Americans love,
40. 2:26and this is what it sounds like. I love that sweater. Is it new?
41. 2:30Those are cute shoes. Where'd you get them? That drawing is fantastic.
42. 2:34Are you an artist on the side? This is a strategy
43. 2:38several of my students who live in the United States have noticed and they
44. 2:42thought it was a little bit strange. One of my students asked me,
45. 2:46why do Americans always want to know where I bought something?
46. 2:51And the truth is that isn't really what we want to know.
47. 2:55Perhaps sometimes we want to know where you got that dress or those shoes,
48. 3:00but what we're really doing is trying to start a conversation.
49. 3:04And we do that by complimenting something we like.
50. 3:08And then following it up with a question in that process,
51. 3:13we start to learn something about you. Of course,
52. 3:16if I ask you where you bought those shoes,
53. 3:19I might learn what store you like to shop at.
54. 3:22And maybe it's a store I also like to shop at.
55. 3:25It may seem small, strange, and insignificant,
56. 3:29but the only way to develop a relationship is to find those
57. 3:34initial connections, however small they might be.
58. 3:38And this strategy helps us start those small talk conversations in a
59. 3:43really polite and positive way.
60. 3:46The second strategy you can use for small talk is to get the
61. 3:50conversation flowing with engaging questions.
62. 3:55And this is easier than it sounds.
63. 3:58We're all familiar with questions like how long have you worked here?
64. 4:02How long have you been an accountant? Do you like working here?
65. 4:06How was your weekend? Those are all common questions. In fact,
66. 4:09that last one may be the most common question asked on Monday
67. 4:14mornings.
68. 4:15But the problem with all of those is that they lead to very simple
69. 4:20or one word answers. For example, how long have you worked here?
70. 4:25Four years. How long have you been an accountant? Seven years.
71. 4:29Do you like working here? Yes. How was your weekend? Fine.
72. 4:33It's really hard to have a successful conversation when someone
73. 4:38just gives us a one-word answer.
74. 4:41A better approach is to use questions that encourage someone to
75. 4:46talk and talk and talk and talk.
76. 4:49The more someone else talks,
77. 4:52the more we learn and it's easier to find
78. 4:56more engaging in depth questions and find connections.
79. 5:01Here's an example.
80. 5:03Last week I shared a lesson on how to successfully introduce yourself to
81. 5:08new people at work.
82. 5:10Let's use an example introduction from that lesson and see how we
83. 5:14can follow it up with a successful, engaging small talk question.
84. 5:19The introduction may start with, Hey, Rebecca. Nice to meet you. I'm Sarah.
85. 5:24I'm the new part-time accountant here. How long have you been at the company?
86. 5:29Now with that first question,
87. 5:31it's very possible for Rebecca to give a short one word answer and she probably
88. 5:36will.
89. 5:37She might say I've been here seven years or simply seven
90. 5:41years. After that short question,
91. 5:45a better small talk question that encourages conversation might be,
92. 5:50what do you like about working here?
93. 5:54It's really difficult to give a one word, answer to that question.
94. 5:59Not only does that question, encourage conversation,
95. 6:03but you'll also learn something interesting and get more details about
96. 6:08Rebecca and her experience working at this company. Similarly,
97. 6:12if you're talking to a new coworker who has recently moved to
98. 6:17this particular city,
99. 6:19you could ask how's the new neighborhood and the response could
100. 6:24be it's good. It's fine. A better question might be,
101. 6:28what do you like about your new neighborhood? With that question,
102. 6:31anything is possible.
103. 6:34Not only are you encouraging the conversation,
104. 6:38but you may find some wonderful connections or maybe even learn something
105. 6:42new about the city where you live. Another example. Of course,
106. 6:47on Monday mornings, you could ask your coworker, how was your weekend?
107. 6:52And the answer is usually it was good. It was fine.
108. 6:56Or you could start a Monday morning conversation with,
109. 6:59so what kinds of things do you do on the weekends for fun when you're not at
110. 7:03work? Once again,
111. 7:05the answers to that are endless and you will certainly learn something
112. 7:09new and interesting about your coworker.
113. 7:12When you ask engaging questions,
114. 7:15not only will you get longer answers,
115. 7:18but the conversation will be more fun and it will be easier to keep it
116. 7:22going with follow-up questions. And finally,
117. 7:26the third way to start successful small talk at work is to ask for advice
118. 7:31or get someone's opinion.
119. 7:33Now you may be thinking Annemarie is that really small talk?
120. 7:38Isn't giving my opinion more personal.
121. 7:41And my answer to that is yes and no.
122. 7:44If I ask for advice on buying a house or marriage,
123. 7:48or if I ask your opinion on a political candidate,
124. 7:51those are definitely more personal topics and would not be appropriate for small
125. 7:55talk, but asking for your favorite pizza place on a Friday night,
126. 8:00or where's the best place to get coffee near the office or asking if you
127. 8:04recommend Barcelona for a great vacation spot,
128. 8:08because I know that you went to Barcelona last summer.
129. 8:12These are all appropriate topics for small talk.
130. 8:15And they're also asking for someone's advice or their opinion.
131. 8:20Everyone loves to give their advice, their recommendations and their opinions.
132. 8:25So these are extremely successful ways to get a conversation going.
133. 8:30I'll give you a couple of examples.
134. 8:32Here's how you might include a question on someone's advice or opinion when
135. 8:36you're meeting a new coworker. Hey Rebecca, it's nice to meet you. I'm Sarah,
136. 8:41the new part-time accountant here.
137. 8:43I'll admit that I'm a little nervous on my first day,
138. 8:46but I'm really excited to get to know everyone.
139. 8:48And I'd love to find out where the best places to get coffee around here.
140. 8:53What's your favorite near the office?
141. 8:56Not only does that example include an introduction following the structure I
142. 9:01shared in my lesson last week,
143. 9:02but it also ends with a question seeking advice or someone's
144. 9:07opinion about a great coffee shop near the office. Here's another example.
145. 9:12If you're chatting with a coworker, you already know well, Hey Sue.
146. 9:17You know how my husband and I get pizza every Friday for kind of tired of the
147. 9:21same old place. What are your thoughts on the best pizza in town?
148. 9:25Or here's another, Hey Sue. Didn't you go to Barcelona last summer?
149. 9:30I'm thinking about it for our next vacation.
150. 9:32I'd love to get your thoughts on it. Notice in those examples,
151. 9:36I didn't ask where do you like to get pizza or do you recommend
152. 9:40Barcelona asking those questions could lead to a very simple
153. 9:45one word answer or even a simple yes or no.
154. 9:50Instead I'm asking for details,
155. 9:53advice and opinions by starting with what are your thoughts on,
156. 9:57or what are your thoughts about that is an excellent,
157. 10:01simple way to ask questions on someone's opinion and to get more
158. 10:06in-depth answers. And with that,
159. 10:08you have three simple ways to ask small talk questions that make
160. 10:12conversations easy, successful, and fun in English.
161. 10:17As a quick recap,
162. 10:19strategy number one is start with a compliment and ask a connected question,
163. 10:24strategy two get the conversation flowing with engaging
164. 10:28questions and strategy three, ask for someone's advice or opinions.
165. 10:33Now it's time for you to practice.
166. 10:36I would love for you to share some of your favorite small talk questions.
167. 10:41And then I have a second challenge for you.
168. 10:44After you share your small talk questions below the video,
169. 10:48look at the questions other people ask and practice answering them.
170. 10:53Not only will you learn a variety of small talk questions to help make your
171. 10:59conversations successful,
172. 11:00but you'll also get practice in how to answer them as well. With that,
173. 11:05if you found this week's lesson useful, I would love to know,
174. 11:08and you can tell me in three simple ways, number one,
175. 11:12give this lesson a thumbs up here on YouTube and subscribe to this channel so
176. 11:16you never miss one of my Confident English lessons. Number two,
177. 11:20if you know someone else who struggles with small talk in English,
178. 11:24share this lesson with them,
179. 11:25and you can do that easily by sending it via email or sharing it on Facebook,
180. 11:31and finally be sure to practice and share your examples with me.
181. 11:36Have a wonderful week. Thank you so much for joining me.
182. 11:39And I look forward to seeing you next time for your Confident English lesson.