stop WASTING your energy | 5วิธีรับมือคนTOXICใกล้ฉัน แบบไม่ต้องรู้สึกผิด — Transcript

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1. 0:00I believe many of you have experienced this before.
2. 0:01There are times when we’re with certain people and feel like,
3. 0:04Why do I feel so drained being around this person?
4. 0:06Why does it feel like I have no energy or motivation when I’m with them?
5. 0:11The reason could be that the person you’re with is toxic.
6. 0:15Some people love to gossip, some love to compare, and some constantly criticize others.
7. 0:19No matter how sweet or kind we are, no matter how much we mind our own business,
8. 0:24These types of people are just a part of society that we still have to face every day.
9. 0:30It’s very normal to encounter these kinds of people in society.
10. 0:33Because we all grow up differently.
11. 0:35We all have different personalities.
12. 0:37And sometimes we may even wonder,
13. 0:39Did I do something to them? Why are they acting so mean to me?
14. 0:42Some people might feel like they can’t figure it out.
15. 0:45And that’s totally normal.
16. 0:46Because we may not have done anything to them at all.
17. 0:49But because they’re just that kind of person so they act badly toward others.
18. 0:54And most of the time, they’re not only unkind to us but to everyone around them.
19. 1:00The problem is, when we deal with toxic people, they’re often hard to avoid.
20. 1:05Because they’re people we have to see every day, people we can’t escape.
21. 1:08So in this video, I want to share how we can deal with these toxic people,
22. 1:13Without needing to be toxic ourselves,
23. 1:16And still be able to live peacefully on our own terms.
24. 1:19First, we need to be aware of the forms toxic people might come in.
25. 1:23Some may not openly insult or yell at us.
26. 1:26But they make us feel bad about ourselves.
27. 1:29Some people just drain our energy.
28. 1:32They complain about this, that, and everything in life—it’s just endless problems.
29. 1:35It’s like their whole life is one big issue.
30. 1:37If someone vents to me, at least I feel like they’re saying, “What should I do?”
31. 1:41Then I feel like it’s venting with a purpose.
32. 1:43But if they just complain with no desire to find solutions,
33. 1:46That’s when I start to feel like nope, not okay.
34. 1:48That’s them dumping negative energy on me that I didn’t ask for.
35. 1:51Others might try to guilt-trip us when we set boundaries.
36. 1:55Like if someone invites us out,
37. 1:57And we say, “Can I skip today? I’m really exhausted.”
38. 2:01Honestly, people with empathy
39. 2:04Wouldn’t keep pushing someone who’s clearly tired to hang out.
40. 2:07They’d probably just say, “Oh, you’re tired? No worries. Let’s go another time.”
41. 2:11They’d leave it at that. Not try to make you feel bad for saying no.
42. 2:15And then there’s the kind of person who’s never happy for anyone’s success.
43. 2:19When you share your achievements with them,
44. 2:24They’ll try to find something to criticize that what you did wasn’t good enough.
45. 2:29Meanwhile, anything they do is always amazing.
46. 2:31Everything about us is never good enough.
47. 2:33Those are the kinds of people we shouldn’t stay close to.
48. 2:35We don’t need to prove ourselves to them.
49. 2:39What we need to do is let them go. Just let them go.
50. 2:41And next time, we simply don’t have to share our wins with them anymore.
51. 2:44Because this person doesn’t truly wish us well. They’re not sincere with us.
52. 2:47No matter what kind of toxic person we encounter in life,
53. 2:50There are actually many more types out there than we think.
54. 2:53People who make us feel guilty over things that aren’t even a big deal.
55. 2:57So it becomes our responsibility to be mindful and not let these people destroy our peace.
56. 3:04Not everyone in this world wants the best for us.
57. 3:06Some people come into our lives because they truly admire us.
58. 3:09But some come into our lives just to tear us down.
59. 3:11So we have to learn to read people and choose wisely who we spend our time with.
60. 3:17If we spend too much time with these people,
61. 3:19Our mental health will just keep getting worse.
62. 3:20Our life won’t move forward.
63. 3:21Every day, we’ll be criticized.
64. 3:23Every day, we’ll be scolded.
65. 3:24Every day, we’ll be listening to meaningless negativity.
66. 3:27The second thing is that we need to learn to set boundaries.
67. 3:30We need to have a solid stance in life.
68. 3:32When someone disrespects us or does something that makes us feel bad,
69. 3:37We have to stand up for ourselves.
70. 3:39If we can speak up, then we should. Be direct and say,
71. 3:42“When you act this way, it makes me feel bad. It makes me feel hurt.”
72. 3:46If we’ve already communicated clearly and they still continue,
73. 3:51Then saying they didn’t know isn’t an excuse anymore.
74. 3:54I believe that anyone in this world can understand after hearing something once.
75. 3:59If my friend told me that I did something that hurt them,
76. 4:02I wouldn’t do it again next time.
77. 4:04That’s why I feel it’s just not normal
78. 4:06If we have to keep telling someone over and over,
79. 4:07“I don’t like this behavior from you.”
80. 4:11It’s not that they don’t know we dislike it — it’s that they choose to keep doing it anyway.
81. 4:17So what we should do is remove ourselves from that person’s life.
82. 4:21We don’t need to argue or retaliate — we just quietly remove ourselves.
83. 4:25Because with someone like this, no matter what we do, they’ll never value us.
84. 4:29They don’t respect us. They don’t honor us.
85. 4:31And we shouldn’t be afraid that if we say no or don’t give in, they won’t like us.
86. 4:35I mean, when they treat us badly, they didn’t worry whether we liked them, right?
87. 4:39So if you think, “It’s fine, I’ll let it go this first time,”
88. 4:42Let me tell you — there’s no such thing as letting it go *just once*.
89. 4:46If we give in once, we’ll keep giving in forever. Because they’ll get used to it.
90. 4:50Once we let them do something once, they’ll keep doing it over and over without guilt.
91. 4:56And honestly, we can’t blame them — because we allowed it.
92. 5:00We let them cross our boundaries.
93. 5:01We let them disrespect us.
94. 5:03So when someone treats us badly,
95. 5:06What we need to do is be firm.
96. 5:07And if they do it again,
97. 5:09We cut them out of our life.
98. 5:11We need to respect ourselves and not let others keep walking all over us.
99. 5:16That’s not okay.
100. 5:17In the end, the one who feels terrible and hurt is us.
101. 5:21The one who suffers is us.
102. 5:23Having boundaries with others
103. 5:26doesn’t mean we’re cruel.
104. 5:27It doesn’t mean we’re bad people.
105. 5:29People who are kind, respectful, and lovely can still remain in our lives.
106. 5:33We’re not cutting them off.
107. 5:35But the ones we don’t accept are the ones who treat us poorly.
108. 5:38We simply filter them out so they can’t interfere with our lives.
109. 5:42Third, don’t play their game.
110. 5:45Do you know what people like this want when they act out?
111. 5:49They want a reaction from us — anger, frustration, irritation.
112. 5:55So why should we play along? Just stay calm. Let them talk. Don’t react.
113. 6:01Try using the Gray Rock Method.
114. 6:03It means acting like a boring, uninteresting rock.
115. 6:07Make them feel like they’re talking to a wall.
116. 6:10Answer politely, but don’t engage or respond emotionally.
117. 6:14Also, don’t share your personal life with them.
118. 6:21Whatever they ask, just answer simply with
119. 6:23“Mm, it’s going okay.”
120. 6:25Keep your replies vague and non-detailed.
121. 6:29There’s no need for them to know much about our life.
122. 6:32Because their intentions aren’t good.
123. 6:33They might take what we share and twist the stories.
124. 6:39So since we can control our mouth,
125. 6:43let’s use that power. Don’t say much to them.
126. 6:45To be honest, I use this method a lot.
127. 6:48When someone says something I don’t like or makes me feel off,
128. 6:52I can immediately tell that their intention isn’t good.
129. 6:57So I just laugh it off.
130. 6:59“Haha.”
131. 7:00That’s it.
132. 7:01I don’t validate them, and I don’t argue back.
133. 7:03These people can ruin our perfectly good day in a snap if we give them too much focus.
134. 7:09So the best thing we can do is stay still and don’t engage.
135. 7:12Fourth, be your own bodyguard.
136. 7:15Not everyone deserves access to us.
137. 7:19It’s okay to remove some people from our lives.
138. 7:22We don’t have to tolerate the bad behavior of people who treat us poorly.
139. 7:27We can limit the time we spend with these people.
140. 7:29If we absolutely must be around them,
141. 7:32Just wait until the event is over and leave. Don’t stay longer and suffer.
142. 7:38We can unfollow them or mute them on all social media platforms.
143. 7:42If they’re bringing negative energy into our life, we don’t need to keep seeing that energy.
144. 7:47Not when we’re at home, on vacation, or anywhere else.
145. 7:51Sometimes, I get it — maybe we feel bad or guilty.
146. 7:54But seriously, when they treated us badly, did they feel bad?
147. 7:58They didn’t hold back with us, right?
148. 8:00So we shouldn’t keep hanging out with these people. Problems will follow.
149. 8:08Fifth and final — take care of your mental health.
150. 8:11I feel like our mental health is one of the most important things.
151. 8:15When we deal with toxic things, it’s not like we just see it and move on.
152. 8:19Sometimes, it can turn us toxic or make us stressed without even realizing.
153. 8:23So we need to find ways to clear that negative energy out of our lives.
154. 8:28One thing I do regularly is journaling.
155. 8:31I write down everything to release it all.
156. 8:33What did this person do to me?
157. 8:35How did that make me feel bad about myself?
158. 8:37What are some things I can do to feel better?
159. 8:39And apart from the one who treated me poorly,
160. 8:42who treated me kindly?
161. 8:44What did they do that made me feel good?
162. 8:46I write both sides down.
163. 8:48It helps me see both perspectives—the good and the bad.
164. 8:53Because often, we focus only on the negative.
165. 8:56So we shouldn’t forget to focus on the good things from each day too.
166. 9:00You’ll start to see that so many people are actually kind to you.
167. 9:03But negativity often feels more intense. It sticks with us more deeply.
168. 9:09It lingers in our minds and becomes so vivid.
169. 9:13Here’s one thing I’ve done that really helped my mental health improve.
170. 9:17I started viewing myself as a home.
171. 9:19And anything negative—bad energy or whatever—
172. 9:22I see those things as trash.
173. 9:24Anything good, I welcome into the house. But the bad stuff—I leave it outside.
174. 9:29Let the garbage truck come and take it away.
175. 9:32Just that thought already makes me feel mentally better.
176. 9:35When someone throws toxic behavior at me,
177. 9:39Honestly, I don’t take it personally—because I never accepted it to begin with.
178. 9:43I see it, but I don’t take it in.
179. 9:45What I choose to receive are only good things.
180. 9:48It’s a bit of a visualization trick,
181. 9:50but seeing it this way really helps me stay mentally strong.
182. 9:54We shouldn’t let toxic people play big roles in our lives.
183. 9:58We can focus on people who are kind to us.
184. 10:01Who support us.
185. 10:02Who genuinely want to help.
186. 10:04Our energy is incredibly valuable.
187. 10:06We shouldn’t waste it on people who don’t wish us well.
188. 10:09You know what toxic people are really good at?
189. 10:12Making others feel bad.
190. 10:14But just because they made us feel bad
191. 10:16doesn’t mean we’re bad or that we did something wrong.
192. 10:19That’s just who they are—their behavior.
193. 10:22It has nothing to do with us.
194. 10:25Think about it. If someone is truly kind inside, how could they say such cruel things?
195. 10:30It’s just not possible.
196. 10:32So instead of asking, “Did I do something wrong?”
197. 10:35Ask yourself this instead:
198. 10:38Do I really deserve to be treated like this?
199. 10:42We need to be mindful and judge the behavior.
200. 10:46Is what they did right or wrong? Is it good or bad?
201. 10:50And if the roles were reversed—would you do the same thing to someone else?
202. 10:54You wouldn’t, right?
203. 10:56If we’re not toxic, we don’t treat people that way.
204. 11:00We can forgive them for their behavior,
205. 11:03but that doesn’t mean they need to stay in our lives.
206. 11:05Whether or not they realize they’re toxic—
207. 11:08the one who suffers from their behavior is us.
208. 11:10We’re the ones who suffer from their bad behavior.
209. 11:13So we need to avoid these people and set boundaries around their access to us.
210. 11:17Because what matters most is our mental health.
211. 11:22What I really want to say is—our job isn’t to make everyone in the world like us.
212. 11:29Because that’s impossible.
213. 11:30No one in this world can do that.
214. 11:32It’s totally normal for some people not to like us or to treat us badly.
215. 11:38But what we all must have are boundaries—with ourselves and with others.
216. 11:43Make it clear they shouldn’t cross our line.
217. 11:45Instead of trying to change them,
218. 11:47we can choose who we spend our time with.
219. 11:49We can choose who we give our energy to.
220. 11:52We don’t set boundaries because we hate them.
221. 11:54We set boundaries because we respect ourselves.
222. 11:59Because we love ourselves and know that we don’t deserve to be treated poorly by anyone.
223. 12:04Before we end this video, I have a little homework for everyone as usual.
224. 12:08There are two things today.
225. 12:10First—write down a situation that made you feel uncomfortable.
226. 12:15It could be your boss checking in on a weekend,
227. 12:17or a friend inviting you out when you’re exhausted.
228. 12:20Second—write how you could respond to that situation. How could you politely say no?
229. 12:24Use any wording that makes *you* feel comfortable and at peace.
230. 12:29For example, if a friend asks you out when you’re not in the mood,
231. 12:32you could just say, “I’m so sorry, I won’t make it today—let’s go together next time, okay?”
232. 12:37Whatever response feels right for you—something you’d actually feel good saying in real life.
233. 12:42Thank you so much for liking, subscribing, and watching until the end.
234. 12:45I truly believe you can handle toxic people—no matter what form they come in.
235. 12:50And you absolutely *can* have great mental health and a peaceful life.
236. 12:55See you in the next video!
237. 12:57Bye-bye 💗
238. 8:33Negative
239. 8:42Positive
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