Stop Overthinking Your English! Just Start Speaking | A2–B1 English Podcast — Transcript

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1. 0:03[music]
2. 0:06>> Hey everyone, welcome back to Sound
3. 0:08English Channel. Lilly here and I have a
4. 0:11quick question for you today.
5. 0:14>> And I'm Sam. Good to see you, Lilly.
6. 0:16What's the question? You look like
7. 0:18you're about to challenge me.
8. 0:19>> Have you ever wanted to say something,
9. 0:22but you spent so much time thinking
10. 0:24about the perfect words that the
11. 0:26conversation just moved on without you?
12. 0:29>> Oh, all the time. That happens to me way
13. 0:32more than I'd like to admit. In fact, it
14. 0:34happened to me just yesterday.
15. 0:36>> Yesterday? What happened yesterday?
16. 0:39>> Well, I was standing in line at a coffee
17. 0:40shop near my house. A guy in front of me
18. 0:42dropped his wallet on the floor.
19. 0:44>> Okay, that sounds like a pretty simple
20. 0:46situation.
21. 0:48>> You would think so, right? But my brain
22. 0:50went into overdrive. I thought, should I
23. 0:52say, "Excuse me, sir, you dropped your
24. 0:54wallet?" Or maybe, "Hey, your wallet
25. 0:56fell." Or should I just point and say,
26. 0:57"Wallet."
27. 0:59>> [laughter]
28. 1:00>> You over thought three words?
29. 1:03>> Yes, I completely got stuck in my head.
30. 1:05I stood there staring at the wallet for
31. 1:0710 seconds. By the time I decided what
32. 1:09to say, another woman walked up, picked
33. 1:11it up, and handed it to him.
34. 1:13>> Oh, no. So, you missed your chance.
35. 1:16>> I totally missed my chance. I just stood
36. 1:18there looking like a statue. And wait,
37. 1:20remind me to tell you what happened when
38. 1:22I tried to fix it 3 minutes later. It
39. 1:24got even worse.
40. 1:26>> [laughter]
41. 1:27>> Okay, we definitely need to come back to
42. 1:28that later. But that's actually what
43. 1:31we're talking about today.
44. 1:32>> The art of freezing in simple moments?
45. 1:35>> Exactly. Why we stop ourselves from
46. 1:38talking, why we overthink every single
47. 1:41sentence, and how we can finally stop
48. 1:44thinking and just start talking.
49. 1:47>> I think a lot of English learners feel
50. 1:48the struggle every single day.
51. 1:51>> Oh, absolutely. But you know what? It's
52. 1:53not just English learners. People do
53. 1:56this in their native language all the
54. 1:57time, too.
55. 1:59>> Really? You think so?
56. 2:00>> I know so. Think about texting. How many
57. 2:03times have you typed a message to a
58. 2:05friend, deleted it, typed it again,
59. 2:08changed two words, and then deleted the
60. 2:10whole thing?
61. 2:12>> Okay, fair point. I've definitely done
62. 2:14that. I once took 20 minutes to reply to
63. 2:17a simple dinner invite.
64. 2:19>> Exactly. So, why do we do this to
65. 2:22ourselves? Why do we get stuck in our
66. 2:24head when we want to express something
67. 2:26simple?
68. 2:28>> I think for me, it's fear. I don't want
69. 2:30to sound silly or make a mistake. I want
70. 2:32my sentence to be perfect before it
71. 2:34leaves my mouth.
72. 2:35>> Yeah, perfectionism is a huge trap. We
73. 2:38treat every spoken sentence like a
74. 2:40written English exam essay, but real
75. 2:43conversation isn't an essay. It's fast,
76. 2:46it's messy, and it moves quickly.
77. 2:49>> Right. When you wait for perfection, the
78. 2:51moment passes. The group is already
79. 2:53talking about something else, and your
80. 2:54great idea is sitting alone in your
81. 2:56brain.
82. 2:57>> Have you ever noticed that the longer
83. 2:59you wait, the harder it gets to speak?
84. 3:02>> Yes, it's like a timer in your mind. If
85. 3:05you don't speak in the first 3 seconds,
86. 3:06your brain starts adding pressure.
87. 3:09>> Wait, 3 seconds? Isn't 3 seconds a bit
88. 3:12too fast?
89. 3:14>> Maybe 3 seconds sounds fast, but think
90. 3:16about it. In a group conversation, if
91. 3:18someone asks a question and nobody
92. 3:20speaks for 3 seconds, there's a quiet
93. 3:22pause. After 5 seconds, it feels
94. 3:24awkward. After 10 seconds, you feel like
95. 3:26everyone is watching you.
96. 3:28>> Hmm, that's true. That quiet space makes
97. 3:31you feel very self-conscious.
98. 3:34>> Yeah, so you think, "Okay, now my answer
99. 3:36has to be amazing to justify the long
100. 3:39silence."
101. 3:40>> That's so over the top. You don't need
102. 3:43an amazing answer for every simple
103. 3:45question.
104. 3:46>> I know, but that's what happens in our
105. 3:48minds. We make the situation way bigger
106. 3:50than it really is.
107. 3:51>> You know, that reminds me of a story
108. 3:53from last year. I was attending a mini
109. 3:56workshop online. There were about 10
110. 3:58people in the video call.
111. 4:00>> Oh, online calls are the worst for
112. 4:02overthinking. Everyone is just looking
113. 4:04at the screen in silence.
114. 4:06>> Yes, the host asked, "Does anyone have
115. 4:09an example of good customer service?" I
116. 4:11had a great example from 2 days ago.
117. 4:14Actually, no, 3 days ago at a local
118. 4:16bookstore.
119. 4:17>> Okay, so you had a real story ready to
120. 4:19share.
121. 4:20>> I had the story, but I wanted to make
122. 4:23sure I explained the bookstore details
123. 4:25perfectly. So, while another person was
124. 4:28talking, I was preparing my sentences. I
125. 4:30translated words in my mind. I checked
126. 4:33my grammar. I practiced the first
127. 4:35sentence silently.
128. 4:37>> Let me guess, by the time you were ready
129. 4:39to speak
130. 4:40>> the host said, "Great, moving on to our
131. 4:42next topic."
132. 4:44>> Classic. You overthought it and missed
133. 4:46your chance again.
134. 4:48>> I completely missed my chance. And the
135. 4:50funny thing is, my story was so simple.
136. 4:53A bookstore worker helped me find a
137. 4:56book. That's all. I didn't need a fancy
138. 4:58vocabulary list for that.
139. 5:01>> That happens so often. We think we need
140. 5:03big, impressive words, but people just
141. 5:05want to hear a simple response.
142. 5:07>> Exactly. Listeners at home, think about
143. 5:10your own day yesterday or today. Have
144. 5:12you missed your chance to say something
145. 5:14simple because you were waiting for the
146. 5:16perfect words?
147. 5:18>> I bet almost everyone listening is
148. 5:19nodding their head right now.
149. 5:21>> So, Sam, what can we do about this? How
150. 5:24do we break this bad habit?
151. 5:27>> Well, I tried a new strategy last month.
152. 5:29Instead of planning a long, complicated
153. 5:31sentence, I told myself, "Just go with
154. 5:33your gut and say the first three words."
155. 5:36>> Go with your gut. I like that phrase.
156. 5:39>> Yeah, to go with your gut means to trust
157. 5:41your immediate feeling without
158. 5:42overanalyzing. Your gut is your
159. 5:44instinct.
160. 5:46>> So, if someone asks your opinion in a
161. 5:48meeting, you don't build a full speech
162. 5:50in your head. You just go with your gut
163. 5:53and start speaking.
164. 5:54>> Right. You start with something basic
165. 5:56like, "I think that's a good idea,
166. 5:57because" and you let your brain finish
167. 5:59the sentence while you're already
168. 6:01talking.
169. 6:02>> That sounds a little scary, to be
170. 6:04honest. What if you start speaking and
171. 6:06you don't know how to finish?
172. 6:09>> Honestly, most of the time your brain
173. 6:11figure it out Wait, figure figures it
174. 6:13out as you go. Language isn't a
175. 6:15pre-recorded track. You build it line by
176. 6:17line as you talk.
177. 6:19>> That's a great point. When you speak
178. 6:21your native language, you rarely plan
179. 6:23the end of your sentence before you
180. 6:25start the beginning. You just spit it
181. 6:27out.
182. 6:28>> Spit it out. That's another great
183. 6:29expression. To spit it out means to say
184. 6:32what you want to say directly without
185. 6:34hesitating.
186. 6:35>> People often say, "Just spit it out"
187. 6:37when someone is taking too long to speak
188. 6:40or hesitating too much.
189. 6:42>> Exactly. Sometimes you just need to tell
190. 6:44yourself, "Sam, stop overthinking it.
191. 6:46Just spit it out."
192. 6:48>> Let me ask our listeners a quick
193. 6:50question here. Imagine you are in a
194. 6:52restaurant and the waiter brings you
195. 6:54cold soup. Do you hesitate and get stuck
196. 6:57in your head, or do you just spit it out
197. 6:59and ask for a warm one?
198. 7:01>> Ooh, cold soup is a tough one. I used to
199. 7:03eat cold soup because I didn't want to
200. 7:05make a scene.
201. 7:07>> [laughter]
202. 7:07>> You ate cold soup because you were too
203. 7:09shy to speak up?
204. 7:11>> I did. I spent 10 minutes thinking, "Is
205. 7:13it supposed to be cold? Is this fancy
206. 7:16soup?" I was totally over the top with
207. 7:17my worries.
208. 7:19>> [laughter]
209. 7:20>> That's hilarious. Cold tomato soup
210. 7:23exists, but cold chicken soup is just
211. 7:25bad service.
212. 7:27>> See, I should have gone with my gut and
213. 7:29mentioned it immediately.
214. 7:30>> Exactly. Now, let's talk about English
215. 7:33learners specifically. Why do English
216. 7:35learners find it so hard to just spit it
217. 7:38out?
218. 7:39>> I think translation is the biggest trap.
219. 7:42A lot of learners write the sentence in
220. 7:43their native language first, then
221. 7:45translate each word into English, then
222. 7:47check the grammar, then try to pronounce
223. 7:49it.
224. 7:50>> Wow, that's four steps. No wonder people
225. 7:53freeze. By step three, the conversation
226. 7:55has moved to a completely new topic.
227. 7:58>> Yeah, that process is way too slow for
228. 8:01real life. Real life doesn't pause for
229. 8:03your internal translate app.
230. 8:05>> So, how can learners skip those four
231. 8:07steps?
232. 8:08>> They need to aim for 70% accuracy
233. 8:11instead of 100% perfection. If you can
234. 8:14communicate 70% of your thought right
235. 8:16now, that is 10 times better than having
236. 8:18a perfect sentence in your head 5
237. 8:20minutes later.
238. 8:21>> I completely agree. Communication is
239. 8:24about connection, not perfection. If you
240. 8:27say, "Yesterday I go store." people
241. 8:30understand you.
242. 8:32>> Exactly. Nobody's going to stop you and
243. 8:34say, "Excuse me, did you mean went?"
244. 8:37Well, unless you're talking to a strict
245. 8:39English teacher.
246. 8:40>> And we are definitely not strict English
247. 8:44teachers here on Sound English Channel.
248. 8:46>> Definitely not. We are conversation
249. 8:48friends.
250. 8:49>> Speaking of practicing, what small
251. 8:52habits can help us practice speaking
252. 8:54without feeling stressed?
253. 8:56>> One thing I started doing recently is
254. 8:58talking to myself at home in English.
255. 9:00>> Wait, you talk to yourself?
256. 9:03>> All the time. When I'm making coffee or
257. 9:05washing dishes, I just describe what I'm
258. 9:08doing out loud. Now I'm pouring the
259. 9:10water. The weather looks nice today. It
260. 9:12sounds silly, but it builds speed.
261. 9:14>> That's actually brilliant, because when
262. 9:17you talk to yourself, there's zero
263. 9:19pressure. Nobody's judging you. You
264. 9:21don't get stuck in your head because
265. 9:24nobody else is in the room.
266. 9:26>> Exactly. Your tongue and mouth get used
267. 9:28to making English sounds quickly. So,
268. 9:30when you talk to real people later, the
269. 9:32words come out much faster.
270. 9:34>> Another great method is shadowing. You
271. 9:36listen to a short piece of audio and
272. 9:39repeat the words immediately right
273. 9:41behind the speaker.
274. 9:42>> Oh, shadowing is amazing. It trains your
275. 9:45brain to stop analyzing grammar rules
276. 9:47and just copy natural speech patterns.
277. 9:50>> Exactly. You don't have time to
278. 9:52overthink when you shadow because the
279. 9:54speaker keeps going. You just have to
280. 9:56follow along.
281. 9:57>> It forces you to just spit it out.
282. 10:00>> Yes. Okay, let's try a quick mini role
283. 10:03play now to show how this works in real
284. 10:05life. I'll play a co-worker asking for
285. 10:07your opinion and you show us two
286. 10:10versions, the overthinking version and
287. 10:12the just spit it out version.
288. 10:15>> Sounds good. Let's do it.
289. 10:16>> Hey Sam, what do you think about our new
290. 10:18project timeline? Do you think 2 weeks
291. 10:21is enough?
292. 10:22>> Um well, I think maybe if we look at the
293. 10:28um tasks
294. 10:30>> And stop. That was the overthinking
295. 10:33version. Notice how awkward those 5
296. 10:36seconds felt?
297. 10:37>> Yeah, my brain was searching for words
298. 10:39like schedule, efficiency, and deadline.
299. 10:42I got stuck in my head trying to sound
300. 10:44professional.
301. 10:45>> Okay, now let's try version two. Go with
302. 10:48your gut and use simple words right
303. 10:50away. Ready?
304. 10:51>> Ready.
305. 10:52>> Hey Sam, what do you think about our new
306. 10:54project timeline? Do you think 2 weeks
307. 10:56is enough?
308. 10:57>> Honestly, I think 2 weeks is too short.
309. 11:00We need more time for testing.
310. 11:01>> Wow, that was so clear and natural.
311. 11:04>> Right? I used basic words, too short,
312. 11:07more time, testing. Nothing fancy, but
313. 11:09the message was 100% clear.
314. 11:11>> That's the secret. Simple words spoken
315. 11:14immediately are always better than smart
316. 11:17words spoken too late.
317. 11:19>> I made a big analysis in my head during
318. 11:21version one.
319. 11:22>> Wait, made a big analysis. That sounds a
320. 11:25little heavy, Sam. You could just say, I
321. 11:28analyzed it too much or I overthought
322. 11:31it.
323. 11:31>> Ah, good catch. I overthought it too
324. 11:33much. Thanks, Lily.
325. 11:35>> Anytime. That's what friends are for.
326. 11:37>> So, Lily, do you ever get stuck in your
327. 11:39head when you learn new things?
328. 11:41>> Oh, all the time. When I started
329. 11:43learning Spanish, I was terrified of
330. 11:45making mistakes mistakes with past tense
331. 11:49verbs. Every time I wanted to say what I
332. 11:51did over the weekend, I would pause and
333. 11:54try to remember verb endings.
334. 11:56>> And what happened?
335. 11:57>> People thought I was bored or not
336. 11:59listening. They didn't know I was doing
337. 12:01grammar math in my brain. They just saw
338. 12:04a person staring at them with a blank
339. 12:06face.
340. 12:08>> [laughter]
341. 12:08>> Grammar math, that's such a great way to
342. 12:11describe it.
343. 12:12>> It really was grammar math. Then one day
344. 12:15a Spanish friend told me, "Lily, stop
345. 12:17doing math. Just say words."
346. 12:20>> Good advice. Just go with your gut.
347. 12:22>> Exactly. Once I stopped worrying about
348. 12:25perfect grammar, my Spanish improved 10
349. 12:28times faster because I was actually
350. 12:30having conversations instead of just
351. 12:33thinking about them.
352. 12:34>> That makes so much sense. When you talk
353. 12:36more, you get more practice. When you
354. 12:38get more practice, you get better. But
355. 12:40if you stay silent, you don't practice
356. 12:43at all.
357. 12:43>> Exactly. You miss your chance to learn.
358. 12:46Hey, speaking of missing your chance,
359. 12:48remember my coffee shop story from
360. 12:50earlier?
361. 12:51>> Ah, yes. You said something worse
362. 12:53happened 3 minutes later after the
363. 12:55wallet incident.
364. 12:56>> Right. So, after the woman handed the
365. 12:59guy his wallet, I felt terrible for
366. 13:01standing there like a statue. I wanted
367. 13:04to show that I was a helpful person.
368. 13:06>> Oh, no, Sam. What did you do?
369. 13:09>> The guy was walking towards the exit
370. 13:11door with two coffees. I thought, "This
371. 13:13is my moment to be helpful." I jumped
372. 13:16forward to open the door for him.
373. 13:18>> Okay. Opening a door is a nice gesture.
374. 13:21>> Except I was moving so fast and trying
375. 13:24to say, "Let me get that for you" at the
376. 13:26exact same time that I pushed the door
377. 13:30instead of pulled it.
378. 13:32>> [laughter]
379. 13:32>> No way. You crashed into the door?
380. 13:35>> I hit the door hard. The guy stopped,
381. 13:38looked at me, and said, "Are you okay,
382. 13:41man?"
383. 13:42>> So, you went from silent statue to
384. 13:45crashing into glass doors in 3 minutes.
385. 13:47>> Yes, because I tried to make up for
386. 13:50overthinking earlier by being totally
387. 13:52over the top.
388. 13:54>> [laughter]
389. 13:55>> Oh, Sam, that is classic overthinking.
390. 13:57You went from zero to 100.
391. 13:59>> Exactly. The lesson here is, don't
392. 14:02overthink, but also don't rush so fast
393. 14:06that you knock yourself out on a door.
394. 14:09>> Fair enough. Just find a relaxed middle
395. 14:11ground. Trust yourself, go with your
396. 14:13gut, and when you have something to say,
397. 14:15just spit it out.
398. 14:16>> That's right. Perfection isn't real
399. 14:18anyway. Everyone makes small mistakes
400. 14:21when they speak, even native speakers.
401. 14:23>> Absolutely. We slip up, we correct
402. 14:26ourselves, and we keep going. That's how
403. 14:28human speech works.
404. 14:29>> So, to all our listeners out there, next
405. 14:32time you feel that moment of hesitation
406. 14:34in an English conversation, what should
407. 14:36you do?
408. 14:37>> Don't let yourself get stuck in your
409. 14:39head. Take a deep breath, forget about
410. 14:41perfect grammar, and just start talking.
411. 14:43>> If you make a mistake, who cares? You
412. 14:46spoke. That's a victory.
413. 14:48>> Exactly. Every time you open your mouth,
414. 14:50you are building confidence.
415. 14:52>> So, here is our question for you today
416. 14:54in the comments. When was the last time
417. 14:56you overthought a conversation in
418. 14:58English or in your daily life? Tell us
419. 15:01your story below.
420. 15:02>> We love reading your comments and
421. 15:04hearing about your real experiences.
422. 15:06>> And if you enjoyed today's episode,
423. 15:08don't forget to like this video and
424. 15:10subscribe to Sound English channel for
425. 15:12more real, relaxed conversations every
426. 15:15week.
427. 15:15>> Share this episode with a friend who
428. 15:17always overthinks before speaking
429. 15:18English.
430. 15:19>> And remember, next time you see a wallet
431. 15:22or a door, just keep calm.
432. 15:25>> [laughter]
433. 15:26>> Words of wisdom, Sam. Thanks for
434. 15:28listening, everyone. See you next time.
435. 15:30>> Bye, everyone. Keep talking.