stop being an audience member of your own life — Transcript

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1. 0:01Recently, my days have looked a little
2. 0:03like this.
3. 0:08The entire universe, anything. Love it.
4. 0:10You ever had that zigzag?
5. 0:14I ordered sushi for dinner. Opportunity
6. 0:16for a quick, rapid-fire roast of
7. 0:17someone. I just got home from work, and
8. 0:19I actually have so many errands. Totally
9. 0:22getting spoiled. It's like I'm an
10. 0:23audience member in other people's lives.
11. 0:27I'm being pulled into their world,
12. 0:29[music]
13. 0:30their interests,
14. 0:32their seemingly endless talents.
15. 0:37All mine,
16. 0:40I'm left in the dark.
17. 0:51I have an average screen time of about 4
18. 0:53and 1/2 hours [music] a day.
19. 0:55And that doesn't even cover the time
20. 0:56spent behind my computer or watching TV.
21. 1:01And 4 and 1/2 hours is a lot of time to
22. 1:03be spending on anything, really.
23. 1:06But especially on something that [music]
24. 1:07usually isn't all that meaningful.
25. 1:10Often just gets forgotten pretty much
26. 1:12instantly.
27. 1:13And sometimes
28. 1:15isn't even real.
29. 1:22They say you are what you consume.
30. 1:24And if that's the case, then
31. 1:26who does that make me?
32. 1:29And better yet,
33. 1:31who am I without it?
34. 1:38>> [sighs]
35. 1:40>> I
36. 1:42came across a quote this [music]
37. 1:44morning, like literally 15 minutes ago.
38. 1:47I was just scrolling away, and I had to
39. 1:49pause [music]
40. 1:51and basically just go upstairs and
41. 1:52record this because
42. 1:54it just hit a little too close to home.
43. 1:56It goes like this. You obsess over your
44. 1:59identity in [music] relation to others
45. 2:01while your soul rots inside of you.
46. 2:04Potentially a bit of a
47. 2:06serious [music] dramatic take, but I
48. 2:09kind of think it is that serious. On
49. 2:11pretty much every single social media
50. 2:13platform [music] that I'm on, I have
51. 2:15lists and lists and lists of things I
52. 2:18want [music] to do.
53. 2:23And they just [music] keep growing, and
54. 2:24that's the problem. They keep growing
55. 2:26and they never shrink because nothing
56. 2:28ever gets ticked off. More and more I've
57. 2:30just kind of realized how sad it
58. 2:31actually [music] is that I clearly have
59. 2:33so many ways in which I would like to
60. 2:35spend my time, but I choose to just
61. 2:37spend it [music] watching other people
62. 2:39do stuff instead. And my interests are
63. 2:41just, you know,
64. 2:42rotting away.
65. 2:43>> [music]
66. 2:44>> If I wouldn't have all of those sort of
67. 2:45external voices
68. 2:47to listen to and to compare myself to,
69. 2:51where does that leave me?
70. 2:56I just want to know.
71. 2:58I quite often feel as though there's a
72. 2:59gap between the things I want to do and
73. 3:01[music] the things I actually end up
74. 3:02doing.
75. 3:03I've no idea if I can do this.
76. 3:05And there's a lot of reasons for that,
77. 3:06really.
78. 3:07>> [music]
79. 3:07>> Whether it's because I don't have time
80. 3:09or skills, equipment, patience,
81. 3:11originality, permission, but above all,
82. 3:14confidence.
83. 3:16So, it's easier to consume what everyone
84. 3:18else is making
85. 3:19>> [music]
86. 3:19>> rather than attempting to close that gap
87. 3:21yourself.
88. 3:22But the more I consume and consequently
89. 3:24the less I create, the bigger that gap
90. 3:27gets
91. 3:29and the more self-doubt begins to creep
92. 3:30in.
93. 3:35Until you put the phone down.
94. 3:50I am attempting this painting today.
95. 3:53I've had it saved for a long time and um
96. 3:57today's the day.
97. 3:59We'll see how I manage.
98. 4:04I think the act of creating isn't so
99. 4:05much about the actual output as it is
100. 4:08about its effects on you.
101. 4:12One of the things that scares me the
102. 4:13most about how much I consume is the
103. 4:16total lack of self-expression.
104. 4:19In a way it feels as though the more I
105. 4:21take in, the less I understand who I am
106. 4:23as a person.
107. 4:24>> [music]
108. 4:25>> What it is that I like or don't like.
109. 4:29And what I'm actually capable of.
110. 4:31There we have my little painting.
111. 4:34And it didn't take that long, like 2
112. 4:35hours max. [music]
113. 4:39You know.
114. 4:42And that's not to say that it works out
115. 4:44every time [music] cuz it won't.
116. 4:47>> [sighs]
117. 4:49>> It's not [music] working.
118. 4:50It [snorts] just keeps cracking.
119. 4:53I might have to give up on this [music]
120. 4:54one. Um
121. 4:56it is what it is. I tried at least.
122. 5:00But you also might discover things you
123. 5:02didn't even know were there. [music]
124. 5:04One of the things that I've really been
125. 5:05wanting to try is gouache paint.
126. 5:08So I bought [music] some. Now that I'm
127. 5:10actually actively trying to make the
128. 5:12things that I want to make, what do you
129. 5:14know? I'm actually getting really
130. 5:16excited about them.
131. 5:17>> [music]
132. 5:17>> It's sparking something in me. A part of
133. 5:20me that usually isn't really that
134. 5:22stimulated. I haven't even started using
135. 5:24the freaking paint and I'm already super
136. 5:25happy with my purchase. [music] Like
137. 5:28that means something.
138. 5:30But I never would know that that means
139. 5:31something [music] if I wouldn't try.
140. 5:34So.
141. 5:36Going to try these paints now.
142. 5:39The reality is though that consuming
143. 5:41[music] is infinitely easier than
144. 5:42creating will ever be.
145. 5:44It doesn't really ask much of you. No
146. 5:46skills or patience. Definitely no
147. 5:49[music] tolerance for being a beginner.
148. 5:51So, it's a comfortable place to be,
149. 5:52really.
150. 5:54That is, of course, until you realize
151. 5:55that if you never allow yourself to be a
152. 5:57beginner, you'll also never stop being
153. 5:59one.
154. 6:05While we're on the topic of being a
155. 6:06beginner, [music]
156. 6:07I know very well how hard it can be to
157. 6:09flip that switch and start making the
158. 6:11things that you want to make.
159. 6:13So, if you're looking for a little bit
160. 6:14of guidance, I can highly recommend
161. 6:16Skillshare, the sponsor [music] of this
162. 6:17video.
163. 6:19Throughout this journey of trying to
164. 6:21create more and consume less, [music]
165. 6:22I've turned to Skillshare multiple
166. 6:24times.
167. 6:25And it's been such a great tool to
168. 6:26answer [music] the one question I always
169. 6:28found myself asking, "Where do I start?"
170. 6:32I think starting is often the hardest
171. 6:34part of anything, really. But,
172. 6:36especially with all of these [music]
173. 6:37interests that I have, it can be so
174. 6:39overwhelming to figure out how to bring
175. 6:41them to life and where to even learn the
176. 6:43skills necessary for them. And
177. 6:45Skillshare has been a pretty perfect
178. 6:47companion for it.
179. 6:48>> [music]
180. 6:48>> Whether I wanted to paint waterscapes,
181. 6:50which I'd never attempted before, or
182. 6:52learn how to use gouache, which I'd
183. 6:53never used before, or just [music]
184. 6:55figure out how to help any future ideas
185. 6:57come to life,
186. 6:58I could always find a little bit of
187. 7:00guidance on Skillshare.
188. 7:02It's been incredibly helpful for me and
189. 7:03I'm sure it will be for you as well.
190. 7:05So, if you'd like to see for yourself,
191. 7:07the first 500 people to use my link in
192. 7:09the description or [music] scan the QR
193. 7:11code on screen will receive a 1-month
194. 7:13free trial of Skillshare.
195. 7:18I think people often assume that
196. 7:19creating is only relevant if you're an
197. 7:21artist of some sort.
198. 7:23And I don't really agree with that.
199. 7:26Creating to me, at its very core, is
200. 7:28nothing but a constant cycle of
201. 7:30problem-solving.
202. 7:31Of figuring out how to narrow down that
203. 7:33gap between imagination and creation.
204. 7:36And rather than freaking out over the
205. 7:37distance, just giving it a shot instead.
206. 7:40So, I'm going to try to recreate a shot
207. 7:43that I've been seeing all over my
208. 7:45Instagram for the past couple of days
209. 7:47and I think it looks really cool.
210. 7:48Essentially, just like a hand reaching
211. 7:50through the screen.
212. 7:52I've never done this before. I don't own
213. 7:53a green screen, so I don't know if it's
214. 7:55going to work, but I'm going to try and
215. 7:56we'll see.
216. 7:58You never know.
217. 8:00I'm learning that at the end of the day,
218. 8:02pretty much everything is figureoutable
219. 8:05if you just give yourself the space for
220. 8:07it.
221. 8:08I don't know.
222. 8:11Let's see what that looks like. It's
223. 8:13been a couple days since I've tried to
224. 8:14recreate that shot, but I've been just
225. 8:16like tweaking it a little bit,
226. 8:17re-recording some stuff admittedly.
227. 8:19[music]
228. 8:20It actually turned out
229. 8:22pretty okay. It's definitely not perfect
230. 8:24and I feel like there is absolutely more
231. 8:26[music] ways to make it look more
232. 8:27realistic or more like smooth and put
233. 8:30together, but I don't know. I'm just
234. 8:32discovering It sounds so stupid, but all
235. 8:35of these things are kind [music] of
236. 8:36obvious. Obviously, when you're going to
237. 8:38start giving things a shot and trying
238. 8:40things and doing things, you're going to
239. 8:42start realizing that [music] you're more
240. 8:44capable than you think you are or that
241. 8:45things maybe aren't as hard as they
242. 8:47seemed [music] or, you know, stuff like
243. 8:48that. And maybe that's what makes it
244. 8:50even worse. Like, there's such obvious
245. 8:53benefits to not just scrolling your life
246. 8:56away and yet
247. 8:58we still do it all the time.
248. 9:00And I don't mean to say that consuming
249. 9:01[music] is the issue here. I think my
250. 9:03lists of interests are nothing but proof
251. 9:05that there is plenty [music] of
252. 9:06inspiration to be gained from it,
253. 9:08but it's more so about what you do with
254. 9:10all of that inspiration and all of that
255. 9:11input rather than just letting it float
256. 9:14around in your head morphing [music]
257. 9:15into a million different questions,
258. 9:18just giving it an outlet instead.
259. 9:21Whatever that may look like for you.
260. 9:24And it's not a matter of
261. 9:26quit consuming cold turkey, but more a
262. 9:28matter of know what you're consuming, be
263. 9:30aware of what you're consuming, be
264. 9:32intentional about what you're consuming,
265. 9:35and don't let it get in the way of what
266. 9:38you do and what you make and what you
267. 9:40try and how you think and how you view
268. 9:42yourself and the list goes on but you
269. 9:44get the point. Just
270. 9:46most of the time it really is that damn
271. 9:49phone.