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STAYING SOFT IN A HARD WORLD | TIPS TO BEING FEMININE | PRACTICAL THINGS TO DO — Transcript

by Deandra K · 3,219 words · 424 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00this world can be stressful this world
0:02can be hard especially if you are
0:04someone who is hardworking you provide
0:05for yourself maybe you're single maybe
0:07you don't have family around whatever it
0:09may be life can get overwhelming being
0:12feminine is a mentality but sometimes it
0:14can be hard to maintain when you are
0:16single when you provide for yourself
0:17when you go out into the world and
0:19everything is bombarding you all the
0:20time and you're getting information
0:22thrown at you you have to stay in touch
0:24with your family maintain a good body
0:25like all of these different stressors
0:27that we cannot get rid of because they
0:29are just a part of life even people in
0:31relationships who are stressed right now
0:33because you're in the wrong
0:34relationships I just want to give you
0:35guys some tips of what I do to say soft
0:38in such a hard
0:43World welcome back to my Channel today I
0:45just want to give you a couple tips of
0:46things that I just incorporate into my
0:48life to be able to stay soft stay loving
0:50stay sweet stay feminine in a world that
0:53just wants you to be hard it doesn't
0:55even want you to be hard it is designed
0:56to be hard it is not designed for
0:58females it is not designed for the
1:00females to be thriving in these
1:01environments and unfortunately there's
1:03nothing that we can do right now to
1:04change it so the best that we can do is
1:06change ourselves the first thing you
1:08want to do is you want to stay away from
1:09people who trigger you now this might
1:12seem like it is very obvious but it is
1:14not entirely we as humans we get
1:16addicted and we get used to certain
1:18things that happen repeatedly in our
1:20lives and sometimes that is being around
1:22people who trigger us and that causes
1:24anxiety and that causes a stress
1:26response we can get addicted to stress a
1:28lot of times when people are dating and
1:30they feel butterflies it is not because
1:32you are just so in love and infatuated
1:34it is a stress response in your body a
1:37sickening feeling in your gut saying M
1:39this person isn't making you feel very
1:41secure so staying away from people who
1:43trigger you because triggering is a
1:45stress response and once you get into a
1:47stress response you no longer going to
1:48have your softness you're no longer
1:50going to have your relaxedness you are
1:51no longer going to be that soft calm
1:53Angel because you cannot have softness
1:56in a stress response they both can't
1:57exist at the same time you cannot relax
2:00in a stress response they just do not
2:02coincide this is also a part of maturity
2:04is being able to release people in your
2:06lives we have this mentality that once
2:08someone comes into your life and they've
2:09been in your life for maybe 5 10 20
2:12years we have to hold on to them for the
2:13rest of your life that is not the case
2:15life is about managing people it is
2:17about managing relationships whether
2:19it's releasing relationships managing
2:21them in the sense where now you keep
2:22them at longer or further distance or
2:25maybe it's bringing closer to the people
2:27who you kept distance before the whole
2:29point is that you need to make sure that
2:30you're maintaining relationships with
2:32people who make you feel calm people who
2:34bring you reassurance people who give
2:36you love this can be family members this
2:38can be romantic love these can be
2:40friendships but you have to stay away
2:41from people who trigger you part of this
2:43again as I said is maturing it's also
2:45working on yourself because if you're
2:46allowing other people to trigger you
2:49then there is a wound inside of you that
2:50needs healing that is for a different
2:52video but right now what you can do in
2:54your direct life is avoid people who
2:56trigger you the world is a stressful
2:58place as it is so why would you surr
2:59around things like your circle with
3:01people who stress you out why would you
3:03want people around you who are just
3:05going to add more burden onto the burden
3:07that you already have of taking care of
3:08yourself taking care of your family
3:10whatever it may be release the load
3:12unburden yourself and release people who
3:14trigger you the second thing is don't
3:15raise your voice there's no need to yell
3:18I personally am past my yelling stage I
3:20remember when I was in past
3:22relationships I would get into fights
3:23with people and they would yell and so I
3:25would yell and I would raise my voice
3:26and da D I've said this before just
3:28because you are raising your voice just
3:30because you are yelling it's not going
3:31to make the communication any better it
3:32does not make your point clear it
3:34doesn't make the other person more right
3:35or you more right there's absolutely no
3:37reason to raise your voice at anyone and
3:40the only thing that it's doing is
3:41physically stressing you out every time
3:43you get into a bout of anger it takes
3:45hours for your body to actually get back
3:47into that relaxed and calm State the
3:49point of this video is things that are
3:50going to put you into a feminine calm
3:53relaxed State and are going to make you
3:54feel good so you need to cut out the
3:56yelling cutting out yelling doesn't mean
3:57that you no longer get angry you you can
4:00still feel anger you can still be
4:02frustrated but you have to realize that
4:03if you argue with a fool that makes you
4:06a fool there is no point going back and
4:08forth with someone who does not
4:10understand what you were trying to say
4:11as soon as I realize that someone is not
4:13understanding what I'm saying and they
4:15are escalating the situation I disengage
4:17completely because you are not going to
4:19let me get out of my peaceful place and
4:21I'm not going to let you make me feel
4:24stupid because you just refuse to
4:26understand you can't change people the
4:27best that you can do is change yourself
4:30so no longer put yourself in situations
4:32where you need to raise your voice if
4:33someone is yelling and someone is
4:35starting to get irate keep your voice
4:37exactly the same the next thing that I
4:38do that makes me feel really soft is go
4:40to sleep in something that makes you
4:42feel beautiful for me personally it is a
4:44matching set of pajamas now I used to be
4:47the kind of girl like I would wear the
4:48oversized t-shirt it was like old
4:50college t-shirts and some shorts
4:52whatever to bed throw in whatever
4:53because my mentality back then is I'm
4:55going to sleep who cares what you look
4:56like when you go to sleep no one sees
4:58you I used to just have that Nar and
5:00again it was a young mentality but the
5:01older I've gotten The more I've realized
5:03how taking care of yourself and making
5:05yourself feel beautiful when no one is
5:07around is actually the true self-love
5:09it's not only doing things to make
5:11yourself feel good when people are are
5:13around or trying to do things when a man
5:15is around to impress them that is not
5:17self- Lov self- Lov is actually doing
5:19things for yourself there's just
5:21something so good about putting on a
5:23little matching PJ set going to sleep
5:26waking up and just feeling put together
5:28it makes me feel beautiful it makes me
5:29feel sexy and I'm telling you I go to
5:31sleep in like a bonnet a night guard an
5:33eye mask mouth tape there's nothing sexy
5:36about me here from the the chest up when
5:39I go to sleep but from the chest down
5:41I'm wearing a matching PJ set I'm
5:43actually wearing some bottoms from one
5:45of my pj sets right now and it just
5:46makes me feel so beautiful so cutesy I
5:49remember I was dating this man and he
5:51was like one thing that I really love
5:52about you is that even when you are
5:53lounging around the house or before you
5:56go to bed you just take care of yourself
5:58you are just so put together and I just
6:00think it's a very attractive and soft
6:02quality and it's just something that
6:03makes you come off more feminine doing
6:05things that make yourself feel soft is
6:07the whole point of enjoying your
6:10Solitude it is the whole point of
6:11escaping a stressful world and being
6:13able to just feel good in your own home
6:15this actually leads me to my next point
6:17which is make your home a sanctuary when
6:19I say make your home a sanctuary I
6:21really mean it I mean transform your
6:23home into some place that you will go
6:25and you could hide out for months
6:27because it is so comfortable it is so
6:29unique it is so clean it is so
6:31de-stressing and this does not require a
6:34lot of money like all of these tips none
6:36of these tips require a lot of money you
6:37just need to do something that makes you
6:39feel at home so whether that is buying a
6:42candle whether that is getting a little
6:43red light for yourself whether it's
6:44putting flowers in your home whether
6:46it's making sure that you clean up your
6:48home and just make your space feel
6:50really nice so when you come home you're
6:51not stressed out because there's clutter
6:52everywhere some of these things take
6:54discipline but it's about maintaining
6:56that standard for yourself because it'll
6:58just make you feel so soft
7:00I remember when I used to have to go
7:01into office and I would come home and I
7:02would enter my room and my room was like
7:04this Oasis it was so clean it was always
7:07put together even my house now like I
7:09always make sure to clean my house every
7:11single night I clean as I go because
7:13part of cleaning my home is making sure
7:15that I am not stressed out in my own
7:17home it's making sure I feel good in my
7:20own home it's my home is my little soft
7:22safe place because when you step out
7:24that door you are bombarded by angry
7:26people by stressful things emails work
7:29work pressure of society pressure of
7:31Life pressure of relationships
7:33everything exists outside of that door
7:34but once you step into your home you
7:36just want it to be a place where you can
7:37just really relax some people think of a
7:39home as oh I just go home and I lay my
7:41head there at night and that's the only
7:42thing that I need to use it for so
7:44there's no reason for me to make it feel
7:45special or make it feel cute or make it
7:47feel homey some people are even in
7:49spaces for a short amount of time so
7:50they're like there's no there's no point
7:52in me making it feel homey or there's no
7:54point in me investing in making it feel
7:56more special even if you are in
7:57somewhere for a short period of time it
7:59is good for your brain to feel settled
8:02it is good for your brain to feel
8:04comfortable wherever you are so the next
8:06time you think about oh I'm only here
8:07for a short period of time or there's no
8:08point in investing I'm only here for a
8:10year whatever it may be remember that
8:12this is your safe place what do you want
8:14your safe place to look like what do you
8:16want your safe place to feel like it
8:18should feel soft it should help you
8:20decompress moving on to the next thing
8:22which is decompress every single night
8:25for me this looks like I have an insane
8:28night routine when I tell you I it
8:31starts with either a bath or a shower I
8:33put on some calming music I put on my
8:36red light I Turn All the Lights really
8:38low I make sure that the house is clean
8:40I light a candle like do something for
8:43yourself at night to just decompress
8:45from the world even if it is 10 to 15
8:47minutes alone of alone time where you're
8:49not with a partner you're not with your
8:50friends you're not with your children
8:51whatever it may be especially women who
8:54live alone are single provide for
8:55themselves like the stress is just that
8:57much more because you have no one to
8:58fall back on you do not have a partner
9:00make sure that you are taking time to
9:02decompress after a long day it is so
9:04important there is a tendency when
9:06you've had a long stressful day to just
9:07just hop into bed shut your brain off
9:09turn on some Netflix go to sleep you
9:11need to take a little bit of time
9:13whether it is reading whether it is you
9:15know lotioning up your body and just
9:17being Mindful and being present this is
9:19going to bring you back to your body
9:21because part of being soft is just being
9:23in tune and there is no way to be in
9:25tune if you just never take time for
9:27silence take time to love on your
9:29yourself take time to be with yourself
9:31so decompress every single night before
9:33bed and the last thing that you're going
9:35to want to do for all of my ladies who
9:36feel stressed and are like well I don't
9:38need a man around to do anything for me
9:40because I do everything for myself like
9:41that is you acting in your masculinity
9:43let men do things for you and I'm just
9:46talking about random men in public let a
9:48man hold that door for you as you're
9:50walking and do not run to the door as
9:52they are holding it open for you walk
9:53slowly allow them to be men to women in
9:57public places if you're at the air
9:59airport and someone offers to carry your
10:01bags or they offer to lift your bag onto
10:02the conveyor belt let them if a man
10:05offers do you want me to grab your bag
10:06for you let them there is this tendency
10:09that especially if we are stressed out
10:11and especially if we have a lot on our
10:12plate we want to do everything ourselves
10:14because we just want to control every
10:15single situation let people take the
10:17load off for you let men be men in
10:20public spaces let men carry your
10:22groceries as long as it's in a safe
10:24place as long as you're in a public
10:25place as long as you're comfortable let
10:27them if you want to carry my groceries
10:29by by all means carry it until I get to
10:31my car or carry it into a place where I
10:32can take it from you and then I'll carry
10:34it to my car I used to be in the habit
10:35of rejecting Every Man's offer for some
10:38kind of kindness because I was just so
10:40stressed out I was just like I could do
10:41it myself women empowerment da da da
10:43it's not women empowerment to not let
10:45men take off a little bit of the load if
10:47they are offering let men compliment you
10:50say thank you I appreciate it so much
10:52don't take it as such a negative thing I
10:54think now it's like because this world
10:56because of Tik Tok like men can be scary
10:58people so I'm obviously not talking
11:00about the scary incidences of men being
11:02creepy there are men who just simply
11:04want to admire your beauty and say
11:05you're really beautiful or like you look
11:07very nice today and the best thing you
11:09can do is just say thank you allow them
11:11to compliment you take the compliment
11:13feel soft feel loved and move on with
11:15your day don't be like wow that person
11:16is such a creep for calling me beautiful
11:18be thankful someone is calling you
11:20beautiful be thankful people acknowledge
11:21your beauty because it can be really it
11:24can make you feel really hard when you
11:25do so much for yourself and no one is
11:27acknowledging it you don't need to
11:29reject men in every single way outside
11:31of dating capacity like if you're not
11:33dating a man that's great but let the
11:35man hold the elevator door for you so
11:36that you're not rushing and that you
11:38don't feel stress let a man hit the
11:39elevator button like if I get into an
11:41elevator and there's a guy in there and
11:42usually his his finger is hovering on
11:44the button number two let them let
11:47people do things for you it just makes
11:50you feel soft it takes a little bit of
11:51the stress off you have to unburden
11:53yourself I will say one thing that I do
11:55so often is I am like an avid aroan goer
11:58and at Aran they have a self Park and
12:00then they also have a valet and I will
12:02valet every single time the valet is
12:04free at airan so it's like I can self
12:06Park easily it's in a garage it's not
12:08easy stressful for me actually that's a
12:09stressful situation parking in a garage
12:11so I will let them valet every single
12:13time go go park my car for me go go do
12:17this for me because I don't need to be
12:18worried about parking I don't need to be
12:19stressed about parking I'm already
12:20thinking about the groceries I have to
12:21get I already have to think about the
12:22fact that I'm paying for it myself you
12:24go park my car for me thank you take
12:26that burden off of me like you don't
12:28have to do everything on your own let
12:30people do things for you those are just
12:32simple things that I do in my life and
12:34that you can do in your life to just
12:35feel softer because again as I said this
12:37world it wants you to be hard it is not
12:39designed for the female it is just not
12:41designed for the feminine energy it is
12:43not designed to keep you soft this world
12:45wants to make you hard it is designed
12:48for a man and as females the more I'm
12:50learning about our hormones the more I'm
12:52learning about the amount of stress that
12:53we can take there is no reason that we
12:55need to be stressed from 8:00 a.m. when
12:58we wake up to 10 p.m. when we go to
12:59sleep there is no reason that we need to
13:01be feeling stressed that entire day so
13:03anything that you can do to incorporate
13:05throughout your day to just make you
13:06feel less stressed to make you feel
13:08softer to make you feel more beautiful
13:10to make you feel more like the amazing
13:12female that you are do it I hope that
13:14you guys like this video I will see you
13:16in the next one don't forget to like And
13:18subscribe and comment below to tell me
13:19any future videos that you would like to
13:21see m
13:24[Music]

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