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So I played the new streamer simulator.. — Transcript

by Asmongold TV · 21,676 words · 3,570 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:01Gentlemen,
0:03it is time for us to engage in a game
0:06that I have no idea what to expect.
0:11>> Stalling.
0:14[music]
0:15>> Okay, let's get started.
0:18Normal difficulty.
0:30Oh, [music]
0:34what's this?
0:39Uh-oh. She going to die.
0:44Oh.
0:50She made it to the top of the mountain,
0:54but it's a bigger mountain.
0:55>> This moment is incredible, but I wish my
0:58stream could see it.
1:02>> This moment [music] is amazing.
1:05>> But I wish our stream could see it.
1:09>> YO, [screaming]
1:11this is crazy. But I wish my stream
1:14could see it. We're in Iran.
1:16>> What if you could capture every moment
1:19live on stream without having your hands
1:21[laughter] tied? Introducing the Sky
1:24Synapse live streaming drone by Kai
1:27Synapse
1:28>> motion detection technology, face
1:30recognition, built-in Wi-Fi, 6G router
1:33capable of streaming 4K 60 fps with
1:36negative latency with the Sky Synapse
1:38live streaming drone. Every moment is an
1:40opportunity.
1:41>> Seems really great.
1:41>> Every moment is an opportunity. Every
1:44moment is an [music] opportunity.
1:46>> Wow.
1:48Wow. Amazing. Stream rec. Hey, wait.
1:52What the [ __ ]
1:55So, is that me?
1:57What? What's happening?
1:59>> Yo.
2:00>> Yo,
2:02listen. This is going to change live
2:04streaming forever, chat. In the past,
2:06you had to get a cameraman, the rig, all
2:09that [ __ ] With this, you just [ __ ] and
2:12play. Pre-orders should be arriving
2:14today.
2:16The next massive streamer could blow up
2:19using this.
2:20>> That could be me.
2:22>> Oh my god. I better order one right now.
2:25>> You're dead. Are you serious? If you're
2:28If you're going to sit here and stream,
2:30yes, you have to put money into it. Are
2:32you done?
2:32>> Oh [ __ ] Time to fly into a building.
2:38There's me.
2:42This guy's name is Kaden. That was
2:45Kaden. Okay. KY versus Logan. Okay.
2:50You're Wait. You're now live. Welcome to
2:53your life as a streamer. A dead one
2:55currently. It's your mission to gain
2:56viewers and climb the ranks of the
2:58streamer world. Go find some content.
3:01So, one out of 10 peak viewers, 100
3:03sanity, 100 notoriety until a
3:06suspension.
3:07>> Chad, my stream crash.
3:10>> Okay. Um, all right. So,
3:13>> come down here now.
3:15>> Wait, that is that his mom?
3:18Okay, let me open the door.
3:22>> Okay. What What does this [ __ ] want?
3:25What do you want, Mom?
3:27Why is there a $10,000 charge on my
3:30credit card?
3:31>> $10,000?
3:33>> Did you buy a drone?
3:34>> Uh-oh.
3:36>> No.
3:37>> It's for streaming. I told you all to be
3:40a streamer.
3:42>> Mom.
3:43>> Kaden, you know I don't understand
3:45whenever you talk about the streaming
3:47thing.
3:49>> Have you started your college
3:51applications yet?
3:52>> Yes.
3:53>> Yes. Get off my day about it.
3:57>> [laughter]
3:59>> Okay.
4:01>> Just making sure you don't want to miss
4:03the deadline. Which schools have you
4:05applied to?
4:06>> Oh, oops. Uh, uh,
4:08>> Harvard.
4:09>> Harvard. Yeah. Applied to Harvard.
4:11>> College. And you don't make [ __ ]
4:12Streamers make five times your salary.
4:15>> Damn, bro. Let that [ __ ] know.
4:17>> That's quite mean, Kaden.
4:20>> I ain't capping, Mom. Everything we have
4:22is cuz of dad's money.
4:25Damn. Damn, bro. He put that [ __ ] down.
4:29>> If you weren't so broke, maybe he would
4:31have stayed when I was born.
4:33>> Jesus, bro.
4:35>> Kaden, Robert, Brettley, this is quite
4:38enough. I think you should apologize.
4:40>> I'll apologize.
4:42>> I My bad.
4:46>> Wait, I lost the viewer. I'm down to the
4:49goose egg.
4:51Your dialogue choices throughout the
4:53game concerns reward you with viewers or
4:54punish you with the loss that are of
4:56choose. I didn't know that. I tried to
4:58be a nice guy.
4:59>> Is that drone recording us too? Turn it
5:02off.
5:03>> Nope. This is my life now. I'm going
5:05stream everything. Damn.
5:06>> They f to make documentaries about me on
5:08God.
5:10>> [ __ ] based, bro. What a gangster. All
5:13right, let's go. Find out I donated a
5:16dollar. Do something already. about the
5:18mortgage.
5:20>> Talk to mom.
5:20>> Not now, Kaden. I I'm paying the bills.
5:23>> Yeah. Okay, [ __ ] All right. What What
5:25we got going on over here? Uh, write up
5:28the perfect post. Um,
5:31wait. Is it space? We about to cook some
5:35filet minion. I don't know how to spell
5:37it. Tasty. Well done. Wait, did I just
5:40cook food?
5:42Oh yeah, bro.
5:44Put that [ __ ] in the microwave
5:47with the PL. Wait, there's plastic.
5:49Wait.
5:51Wait a minute.
5:53I thought you supposed to take that off.
5:55Oh.
5:57Oh, I got a viewer. Okay, I I got him
5:59back now. Okay, maybe it's the same guy.
6:01All right, let's go.
6:02>> Anyone gooning right now?
6:04>> Anyone gooning? Wait, what? [snorts]
6:06Stream to Paul Blake versus [ __ ] boxing
6:09event.
6:11>> The [ __ ] is this lag, bro? Yo, Sky
6:13Synapse, make sure you get my reaction
6:15and [ __ ]
6:20Oh,
6:21two viewers. Oh my god, I'm actually
6:24that guy. I'm that guy. Okay. Uh, let's
6:28go over here.
6:31Okay. Can I throw a lamp out the window?
6:33I can't. I can't. Can I go through the
6:35door? Let me see. I can go through the
6:36doors.
6:37>> I need more content.
6:38>> I need more content. Okay. Wait. But
6:43there's only two. There's only two
6:45things. Unless I missed something. Let
6:46me look. Oh, I didn't go this way.
6:50Open. You can't go here yet.
6:56>> What the hell is he buying now?
6:58>> What the [ __ ] is Drink the water with a
7:01fork? What?
7:04First, tell social media what you're
7:06going to do.
7:10Banger. Get in here. I'm about to drink
7:12this whole fish tank with a fork.
7:17What is this? Extra Emily's new stream.
7:19That content was to 2020, bro. Step it
7:22up and eat that [ __ ] fish.
7:25Do I eat the fish for the viewer right
7:28in front of mom?
7:29>> Are you out of your flipping mind?
7:31>> Yep.
7:35Come here, [ __ ]
7:40Oh,
7:43you get 10 notoriety. You gain viewers,
7:45but you gain notoriety.
7:47>> Increase if you get suspended from
7:49streaming. Okay. Anonymous ate a fish
7:52and nobody's watching. That's sad, bro.
7:55Pack it up. Damn, that's bad. Okay, so
7:59you got your first toxic donation and
8:01chat message. Toxic donations and
8:03messages will rage bait you and decrease
8:04your sanity. Low sanity will trigger
8:07adverse effects that alter gameplay.
8:09Okay, I know about that. Uh, that's what
8:11mods are for. You can add moderators to
8:13your channel
8:15uh to deal with toxic viewers and keep
8:17you sane. Go to your computer and manage
8:19your mods. Okay. Um,
8:22>> chat, am I out of content?
8:24>> Okay, let's go. Manage moderators. Okay,
8:26I'm going to add a moderator. I'm going
8:29to add this guy. Okay, there's no other
8:31mods. It's just literally automod.
8:32That's it. Okay, I don't have anybody
8:34else.
8:36How do I get doxed with four viewers?
8:38Bro, like what the [ __ ] Go to your bed
8:41and sleep. Okay, I'm going to go to bed.
8:43Save and sleep.
8:49Dreaming of being a millionaire. Oh, be
8:51be famous. S lazy ass sleepathon. You
8:54cannot be for real, bro. Go outside.
8:57>> I don't have any stream snipers.
9:00>> Oh [ __ ] Who is that? Sam Pepper.
9:06>> Dude, Kaden, where have you been all
9:07week? I've been messaging you on
9:09Discord.
9:10>> Oh no,
9:10>> dude. No [ __ ] way. Is that the new
9:13streaming drone? You bought one?
9:15>> Yes.
9:15>> Hell yeah, bro. I'm a streamer now.
9:17>> I'm lowkey a content god, too. You're
9:19about to hear my name everywhere.
9:22>> Yeah, I started streaming, too. Thought
9:23you were ghosting me. But all my viewers
9:25are just broad trying to get me to
9:26[ __ ] gamble.
9:27>> Damn. It's about that way, huh? Oh, he's
9:29got a green shirt. I wonder why. Okay.
9:32Um, let's ask him to follow me.
9:34>> You mind throwing me a follow, bro? I
9:35made a new channel to really solidify my
9:37brand.
9:38>> Oh, I thought you meant follow in real
9:39life.
9:40>> Okay, Kaden Brantley.
9:41>> Dude, ain't no way you got the full
9:43government name. You're going to get
9:44docks, man. Streamed just now. Let's see
9:46what you got.
9:47>> Okay,
9:48>> you're a [ __ ] dead streamer. How much
9:50did you spend for that drone? No one's
9:52even watching you.
9:53>> I'm going to get defensive. No, [ __ ]
9:55this [ __ ]
9:57>> [ __ ] you, bro. My stream was just having
10:00connection issues and [ __ ] That isn't
10:02my real viewer count. I'm not a [ __ ]
10:04dead streamer.
10:04>> True. It's fake. It's broken.
10:06>> That's cap, bro. But I'm still rooting
10:08for you. You got to have at least 100
10:09viewers if we're going to smash any
10:10hoods at TwingCon this weekend.
10:15>> Oh my god.
10:19>> Oh my god.
10:21>> Bet, dude. I've been looking forward to
10:23the cone all year. I'm going to hit a
10:24100 easy, then we'll head out. Sound
10:26good?
10:27>> Yeah.
10:27>> Yeah, man. Come back when you hundo and
10:29we can take my dad's whip. I'll wait
10:30here. [laughter]
10:34Okay, young Jeff. Give it up. You can't
10:37hit 100 viewers. Oh my god.
10:41Okay, so
10:42>> e boy son or eirl daughter?
10:45>> E boy son or egirl daughter? Oh wow,
10:48that's a hard one. Okay. Uh well, let me
10:52let me start Wait, can I can I start
10:55driving?
10:58No. Okay. I was thinking about driving
11:00while on the phone.
11:03Okay, let me go around. Oh, what's this?
11:07Minus four sanity. You got NPC brain.
11:12What's wrong?
11:15>> What's wrong, old man?
11:18>> Type one is
11:18>> talk to M Mr. Connelly. Is that
11:22>> I'm
11:26got an 8x on my M416.
11:33Oh my god.
11:38>> Oh my [music and singing]
11:46go.
11:50>> I had no idea.
11:52>> Yo, what's good, Mr. Connelly?
11:54>> What's good?
11:55>> What are you doing here, Kaden?
11:57Shouldn't you be in school?
11:58Did they actually get McConnell to voice
12:01this? I think they did.
12:02>> Nah, it's summer break and I'm starting
12:04my new life as a streamer/content
12:06creator. [music] Any content around
12:08here?
12:08>> That's insane.
12:09>> You're looking for what?
12:11>> I don't understand what [music] you're
12:13saying, Kaden.
12:14>> Explain streaming.
12:16>> Basically, I'm an influencer trying to
12:18find the most clippable content for my
12:19subathon. A puzzleable content or
12:23something locuely brain rot, you know.
12:25Look. Jesus. Bro,
12:28>> what the hell are you saying, Kaden?
12:30[laughter]
12:32>> There anything going on around the
12:33neighborhood?
12:34>> It is. It says it's McConnell.
12:37>> It is. Look, look, look. It says right
12:38there.
12:40>> Oh my god.
12:42>> Yeah, my wife. She's going around real
12:45good. Having an affair with a neighbor
12:47recently and she don't care. She told me
12:49she ain't stopping.
12:51>> I'm going to be intrigued on this one.
12:52Yeah, let's do this. Yo, she down for a
12:55collab? I'm thinking about branching out
12:57to doing adult content, too.
12:58>> Wait, he wants to [ __ ] his wife, too.
13:00>> Jesus Christ, Kaden. That's
13:02inappropriate. Also, aren't you 17? You
13:06can't be saying [ __ ] like that.
13:07>> I'm going to double down.
13:08>> Hey, if I'm 17, she's 17. You know what
13:11I'm saying?
13:12>> I did not say that. He said that.
13:17>> You kids these days are sick, but not as
13:19sick as her, I guess.
13:20>> Yeah. Okay.
13:23Worst part is I can't do anything about
13:25it. She said if I tried to divorce her,
13:27she'd just take the house and my money.
13:29That's how it works nowadays.
13:30>> True, brother. So true. I I'm I'm going
13:33to help him out. I'm going to help him
13:34out.
13:34>> Dude, that's what I've been hearing,
13:36too, man. I've been watching videos
13:37about female privilege and [ __ ] They
13:40got it better than us for real.
13:41>> I know. I know. I hate women.
13:43>> Prove first that she's cheating. If I'm
13:45going to come out on top in a divorce, I
13:47don't got any currently.
13:49>> Okay, let's do it. Let's do it right
13:50now,
13:51>> bro. I'll find her if you can tell me
13:53where she is. My new streaming drone
13:55going to catch that [ __ ] red-handed in
13:564K.
13:57>> That's right.
13:58>> I don't know where the [ __ ] she's at,
13:59though. I didn't see who the guy was
14:01before he hopped out our window. I just
14:03know it's someone in this neighborhood
14:04>> in the neighborhood. Who is it?
14:07>> Maybe you could go look through some
14:08mailboxes for clues.
14:10>> To send me love letters back when she
14:11loved me.
14:18>> Wow.
14:21Okay. Um, investigating mailboxes. To my
14:25goddess, your f your pharaoh awaits your
14:27body. Come over again. We can take a
14:30ride in my truck and make love where
14:31everyone can witness us. I don't care if
14:34your husband sees. In fact, I want him.
14:36Wait, what?
14:38Wait, what the [ __ ] But who's this guy?
14:41Talk to what's his name?
14:42>> Ellie.
14:43>> Yeah. What we listening to? I'm live
14:44right now.
14:45>> Rando, what' you say?
14:48Ask again aggressively.
14:50>> Bro, are you deaf? I could make you
14:51famous, but you're missing out on a huge
14:53networking opportunity. What song are
14:54you listening to?
14:55>> Let him know. Uh, Leave Me Alone.
14:59>> It's just a question. Relax, bro.
15:02>> No, that's the song name.
15:05>> Ask about song.
15:06>> I've never heard of it. That a KY song.
15:08>> Oh god. Did you just tell me to kill
15:10myself? What's the point of this
15:12interview?
15:15>> I have to let him know I'm a streamer.
15:17>> No, dude. [ __ ] is a content creator like
15:19me. I'm a streamer.
15:20>> That's right. I'm a streamer, bro.
15:21>> A bad one. It looks like
15:23>> flex on them.
15:24>> I'm a thousand viewer streamer, bro. My
15:26dad could buy your whole life.
15:28>> That's right, [ __ ] That's right.
15:29>> You want to flex for your stupid video?
15:31How about this? My girlfriend left me
15:33for a rich Nepo baby. This going to get
15:35you views, [ __ ]
15:36>> Damn, bro.
15:38>> All I want to do is sit here and listen
15:40to music and forget about my problems,
15:42and you come here and remind me that my
15:44life is [ __ ] [ __ ] you.
15:45>> I'mma beat him up now. Now we beat him
15:48up. Okay. So, find his cheating wife by
15:51investigating mailboxes. Okay. I'm going
15:53to to Mr. Dempsey, our loyal customer.
15:56Thank you for your
15:57>> content. Lorded right now.
15:59>> True. We hope our tools are serving you
16:01well. As a tool, thanks for a recent
16:03purchase of the meter master oscillating
16:06power saw pro X. Please accept the
16:08voucher for 20% off your next purchase.
16:10Okay. Kaden Ross mogs your ass, little
16:14p. Ooh, that's bad. Wait, what's this?
16:18Wait, I can kick somebody's car.
16:24I'm running. I'm running.
16:26Okay, extra read your first clavvicular
16:29was mid jestering when a group of voids
16:31came and spiked his cortisol levels. Is
16:33ignoring the voids while ming and moing
16:36uh mogging moids more useful than SMV
16:39Chadfishing in the club? Reports are
16:41that are still uncertain.
16:43>> True, brother. So true.
16:46Ring doorbell. No. No. I'm I I'm I'm
16:48I've been I've been such a bad boy. I'm
16:50going to get in trouble. Why am I
16:52reading people's mail? Yo, train. Bro,
16:55my bank account is locked for some
16:57[ __ ] Bro, I need money or this I
17:00won't be able to pay rent this month. I
17:01promise I'll pay you back, bro. I just
17:03need a few thousand to cover expenses. I
17:05will have your I will have it back soon.
17:08I swear on my mom's life from Flickr.
17:11Oh, really? Is that right? I wonder who
17:14that's supposed to be.
17:15>> Birds
17:18call.
17:19>> Mr. Ter Terrestrial.
17:20>> Maybe I could get that stuff in the
17:22middle of the night.
17:24>> Troll him.
17:26>> Yo, bro. I need a duo for the joke pal
17:28finals. I'm about to rank up. Do you
17:30know the twisting upper stroke strat?
17:32>> Oh my god.
17:33>> Beat it, kid. I'm busy.
17:35>> What the [ __ ]
17:36>> What you looking at?
17:37>> Don't you see all this stuff outside
17:39that guy's house? It's just sitting
17:41there.
17:42>> Yeah. Uh, question.
17:44>> The hoarder house. Are you just going to
17:46look at it?
17:47>> Well, yeah.
17:50Just leave me alone, kid.
17:51>> Encourage stealing. I'm going to tell
17:53him to steal.
17:55>> You could probably lift some of it, bro.
17:57No one's going to notice one thing
17:58missing.
17:59>> Damn.
18:01Maybe you're right. Damn, look at this
18:04house. It's a nice house.
18:06>> Do I smell bad?
18:07>> Talk to Mar.
18:08>> Bro, do you live here?
18:09>> Who the [ __ ] is this [ __ ] Yeah, I live
18:12here, but I don't think I can take it
18:14anymore.
18:15>> Uhhuh.
18:15>> My dad just keeps collecting more
18:17[music] stuff. He hasn't thrown anything
18:19away in 3 years.
18:21>> I'm going to capitalize on this.
18:24>> Damn. If I can be the first to make a
18:25local video about this [ __ ] hole, I can
18:27make bank.
18:28>> Damn.
18:30>> I don't know what to do. It's gotten so
18:33bad. I have to climb through the windows
18:36to get inside. My dad just feeds me
18:38spoiled freezer dinners. Okay, let me do
18:41it.
18:42>> Can I do anything to help? This would
18:44probably make some good HopeCore
18:46content.
18:46>> Oh, no.
18:47>> You could try to talk to my dad and
18:49convince him somehow to stop.
18:51>> I'm sure your live stream or whatever
18:53would get a kick out of him.
18:54>> Oh, good.
18:55>> Can you help me throw away that trash in
18:57the back porch first?
18:58>> I'm sick of looking at it. If you clear
19:01it, you can get in through the back
19:02door.
19:04>> I'll talk to him and clean up that
19:06thing. Oh god.
19:09>> Oh god. Yeah, true. Okay, dead streamer.
19:12Maybe you can find some viewers and
19:13about manage moderators. Oh, I can't get
19:15any more mods.
19:16>> Buy more stuff.
19:17>> [ __ ] Save game. Okay, I'm going to
19:20save. Actually, I'm not ready to save
19:21yet. I'm going to cancel. Okay. Um,
19:26let me go around. Okay. Get through
19:28>> content.
19:30>> Okay.
19:32It's just a massive [ __ ] hole.
19:35Get through the junk. Okay. Let me get
19:38through it.
19:40What is this? A jumping puzzle.
19:44Wait, how do I
19:47here? I I'm trying I'm trying to get
19:48through here.
19:51Come here.
19:53Come here. Trying to do it.
19:58Some content,
20:00the realism. It's not realistic at all.
20:04>> Oh [ __ ]
20:06Oh [ __ ] OKAY. OKAY.
20:10GETTING YOUR OWN HOUSE. If they make if
20:13this is my house, I'm going to lose my
20:14[ __ ] mind. Actually, I won't be. I'll
20:17be I I will I will be the least
20:18surprised that anybody has ever been
20:20surprised. But I I have no idea. Done.
20:32Okay. All right. I'm trying I'm trying
20:33to get it out of the way. Okay.
20:37I'm trying to [ __ ]
20:40All right. Let me move all this stuff
20:41out of the way. No, it's okay, guys.
20:43It's okay.
20:45Okay.
20:47All right. Now, I kick this one out of
20:49the way. Okay. Somehow I've made it. All
20:52right.
20:55Kick this out of the way. Kick this out.
21:12Yo, mods, make sure you're clipping
21:14stuff for my slip slop channel.
21:16>> Jesus Christ. Are you [ __ ] I I don't
21:18know what I expected. I really don't.
21:21Like I I I think you could have easily
21:23expected this.
21:24>> What the hell? Have you been throwing
21:25out my things? Did Halal Abi send you?
21:28[laughter]
21:31Oh no.
21:34[laughter]
21:36>> No [ __ ] way. Assan mold. You've been
21:38living in this dump the whole time.
21:40>> Oh my ass mold.
21:42>> Aren't you a multi-millionaire? Oh god.
21:45>> Hey, are you a [ __ ] idiot? I asked
21:47you what the hell you were doing.
21:49>> Call him out for child abuse. I'm going
21:51to do that.
21:52>> Bro, your kid is starving. She can't
21:54even Yep.
21:58Yeah.
22:07>> What I was saying she can't even get in
22:09the house.
22:10>> Yeah.
22:17>> H Yep.
22:22I I can't say anything. I can't I can't
22:26react,
22:27>> bro. You know, saying yeah and yep while
22:29I'm talking doesn't add anything, right?
22:31It's just [ __ ] annoying.
22:33>> Jesus Christ. This is bad. This is
22:36really bad, guys.
22:39Yep.
22:40>> Anyway, stop messing with my stuff. I
22:43need all of that. I can use those dead
22:44animals for a new alarm clock. Get out.
22:47>> Everybody will never Dude. Wait, there's
22:50a D. Oh my god. Wait, I got thrown out
22:54of the house.
22:56Wait, let me see if I can go back to the
22:58house,
22:58>> streamer, guys.
23:01>> I want to see if I can go back in the
23:02house. Oh, the door is blocked by junk.
23:07[laughter] Oh no.
23:10Oh my god. Okay. Um,
23:14relatively accurate.
23:17You were vague. Oh, I I can't get out.
23:19I'm stuck.
23:22Wait, am I actually stuck?
23:26I'm buried alive.
23:30I can't leave.
23:32>> Chad, is the bit rate okay?
23:35>> Okay,
23:38I got soft locked by my own house.
23:44This is guys
23:49kick stuff. No, it doesn't let you cuz
23:51I'm not on the quest anymore.
23:56I actually
23:59Wait,
24:02I lost.
24:05I don't think it planned on you doing
24:07this,
24:08>> chat. Am I
24:09>> Okay, what if I go?
24:12Okay. Is this It's literally just a dead
24:17animal.
24:19It's actually a dead animal.
24:23There is
24:26Oh my god.
24:30I Wow.
24:33There we go, guys.
24:36There's the house. Amazing.
24:38>> Wait to get out of here,
24:41>> bro. What the [ __ ] You never told me
24:43your dad was asmin mold? Am I really old
24:45enough that I'm like, "Fuck, man. Damn,
24:50bro. [clears throat] How did this
24:51happen?"
24:53>> Yeah, I don't like mentioning it. I saw
24:56him kick you out after you threw away
24:58his stuff. He isn't going to change, is
25:01he?
25:01>> I'm going to drop some truth bombs.
25:04>> Nah, you're probably screwed. Netanyahu
25:07probably got his bad luck beam pointed
25:08straight at you.
25:11Oh my god.
25:16I'm so sick of living here. I'm so
25:20hungry.
25:21>> It's just Guys,
25:24guys, I would never do this. Okay,
25:27this is horrible.
25:30And it's just it's a total [ __ ] hole.
25:32It's a massive complete [ __ ] hole. Well,
25:36um
25:40yeah, that's about right. Holy [ __ ]
25:45Feed her. No.
25:47Absolutely not.
25:48>> Am I going
25:52>> chat? Did you guys know this whole thing
25:54is pre-recorded?
25:56>> Did she say am I going bald?
25:59>> Why does he keep buying more stuff?
26:08>> I can't [music] wait to get out of here.
26:14Oh my god.
26:17Wow. Okay. I
26:20>> Do I smell bad?
26:22>> All right, I'm done. Let me get out of
26:25here. All right. Um Okay, that's enough.
26:28>> Tell streamers to host me.
26:29>> Tell streamers to host me. Okay. Who?
26:32Oh, I have to I forgot I need to check
26:33the check the mails. Okay. All right.
26:36Let me go to the next one.
26:40The mailbox is packed too full with mail
26:43to respond.
26:52Okay.
26:53>> Yo, this [ __ ] farms, bro.
26:55>> Okay, guys. To Amorass,
26:59if you're reading this, looks like I
27:00found your address. You like lying to
27:03your viewers, Kate? All these years, you
27:05made me believe we had a connection, but
27:07no. It turns out you're lying to your
27:10viewers. Go [ __ ] your husband or
27:12whatever. Lying [ __ ] I'm going to make
27:14your life a living hell. Say goodbye to
27:17your entire pitiful brand.
27:19>> Oh no. No.
27:21>> Wait. What is this? Coffee addict.
27:24>> Got to go. Got to go.
27:26>> Question. Uh, capitalize.
27:27>> Yo, chat. Look at this meth out freak.
27:30Why she got the zooies?
27:31>> Who's this [ __ ]
27:32>> Cuz I need some more coffee. Uh, do you
27:34know?
27:35>> It's Annie Fuchsia. I I don't know how I
27:37got here.
27:38>> Yeah, the other one was wake, too.
27:41What is this here? Do you know how I
27:42don't know I got it? Yes,
27:43>> sure. I know a place.
27:45>> Okay, let's take her.
27:46>> Oh, please. Where? Tell me where.
27:49>> Okay.
27:49>> Red Grilled Burgers has some coffee.
27:51Probably.
27:52>> Yeah,
27:52>> they banned me from every one of their
27:54stores.
27:55>> Why?
27:55>> How'd you get banned? How do you even
27:57get banned from a fast food joint?
27:59>> Probably being fat.
28:00>> Someone got my order wrong, so I yelled
28:01at them.
28:02>> Oh,
28:02>> wait. You're that crazy lady on the slip
28:05slob who crashed out and started
28:07attacking a cashier. Joe, I'm your
28:09biggest fan, little sis.
28:11>> Damn.
28:12>> So, do you know anywhere else that has
28:14coffee? I'm crashing hard right now.
28:16>> Uh, yes.
28:17>> Nah, actually, I don't know where.
28:19>> You're so not useful. I got to go.
28:22>> Damn. Damn.
28:25Okay, let me go to this one. Wait,
28:26what's this house? Harvard University.
28:30You in, bro? Damn. How about that?
28:33Okay, what about this one?
28:36Extra, extra. Oh no,
28:39read all about it. Quicular almost got
28:41career ending cortisol spike after a
28:43war. Max Stacy tried gestrifying him on
28:46stream by calling him a good boy while
28:48he was midmog between two low tier
28:50normies at ASU. Critical aura loss
28:53reported by the Miami Asian mocker.
28:59It's just so [ __ ] [ __ ] Okay.
29:02What the [ __ ] was that last letter? What
29:04do you mean you're leaving me? Who's
29:06Terrence? I'm in the middle of the
29:07[ __ ] Middle East defending our
29:09country while getting my eardrums blown
29:11out while you're getting your pack blown
29:13out. Tell me this is a [ __ ] joke.
29:16Damn.
29:19Damn, that's bad. Well, who's this guy?
29:23>> What up, little bro?
29:24>> Uh, compliment him.
29:26>> You got that [ __ ] on you, bro. How fire
29:28is that fit, chat?
29:29>> Oh, what do they think? Thanks little
29:30bro. Thanks little bro. Aspaz clothes.
29:33>> Is that drowning ape shirt real?
29:35>> Drowning ape.
29:36>> I think I got it at a consignment store
29:37in Austin.
29:38>> Ooh, glaze him.
29:40>> Sick. That [ __ ] tough as hell. Twin. My
29:42stream thinks it's heat.
29:44>> Oh [ __ ] You're live. CAN I SHUT MYSELF
29:47OUT?
29:48>> NAH, [ __ ]
29:48>> NAH, BRO. Weirdass leech.
29:51>> Lame ass stupid ass stream anyway. You
29:54probably won't even break 10 viewers.
29:56>> I have 24 viewers right now. Actually, I
29:59have 500 viewers right now.
30:00>> Yeah, 500. I mean,
30:02>> yeah. And I have a McLaren.
30:05>> Uh, ask for proof.
30:06>> Prove it. Show me a picture.
30:08>> Yeah.
30:09>> I don't have my phone on me. I do have
30:13one though.
30:14>> Oh, that's too bad.
30:15>> Chad, look at this fake ass dude
30:16fronting that he got a McLaren.
30:18>> Damn.
30:19>> [ __ ] you, dude. It's real. You'll see.
30:22You'll all see.
30:24>> You'll all see. Damn. Okay. All right,
30:28let's see. Did I do this one? Dear Mr.
30:30Kareem Davis, thank you for applying for
30:32associate cashier position at FoodHub.
30:35Oh man,
30:37this guy must be a real [ __ ] Wait, we
30:40got to find out where McConnell's
30:41cheating wife is.
30:44Dearest Tongs. What the [ __ ] Okay,
30:47wait. I've got to make sure. Did I miss
30:49one of these houses?
30:52I must have missed a house, right?
30:55No, not this one. Okay, I've got to
30:57Yeah, I I feel like I had to have missed
30:59a house. What about this one? No, that's
31:02that's Amarath's house, of course. And I
31:05looked at that one. Okay, we've got to
31:07go find it.
31:08>> Click this [ __ ]
31:09>> Chat. Chat. Chat. Okay, I saw that one.
31:13I want to double check and make sure I
31:14didn't miss anybody. Okay. Okay, I got
31:17that one. What about this? What are all
31:20these?
31:22As I lie in bed writing this letter
31:26to my pharaoh
31:28beautiful risings,
31:30I think of you now as I lie in bed
31:32writing this letter. My pathetic husband
31:34sleeping downstairs on the couch. You
31:37make me feel things he could never. Your
31:39strokes of gentle yet powerful. Your
31:42hands make me quiver. Pharaoh, I need to
31:44see you. My temple is calling for its
31:46pharaoh, your goddess.
31:50Oh no. I have to expose.
31:56Oh no.
32:00I thought I could get on the on the No.
32:04Okay, we've got to find a way to get
32:05inside and expose this [ __ ] for
32:08cheating. I can't go inside.
32:12And can I go in here? No. Can I look in
32:14through there? No.
32:17Okay,
32:17>> chat. How's my view count looking?
32:20>> Uh, I can't.
32:25Oh no.
32:29Oh no.
32:31I literally just broke into this dude's
32:33house. Okay.
32:36All right. Let's see if we can find him.
32:40Is it this house? This door? No.
32:45>> Oh my god. How did you get in here?
32:47Capitalize.
32:48>> Holy [ __ ] chat. We're going to be at
32:50the top of Shreddit. Clip this [ __ ]
32:52>> Damn, bro.
32:54>> What the [ __ ] Are you filming us?
32:56>> Keep streaming. I'm going keep
32:57streaming.
32:57>> Yeah, I am. You're live for the whole
32:59world right now.
33:00>> Can you do a flip on it?
33:01>> Damn.
33:02>> No. What the [ __ ] Who are you?
33:04>> Keep streaming.
33:05>> I'm Kaden, but what really matters is
33:07>> Let this [ __ ] know.
33:08>> You're Mrs. Connelly, right?
33:10>> Yeah.
33:11>> Damn. It's Thanks.
33:13>> Wow.
33:15>> Oh my god. My husband sent you. [ __ ]
33:17Delete that recording right now.
33:19>> Uhoh. Uhoh.
33:20>> Looks like I got what I need. Don't
33:22worry. I won't blueball you, bro. Keep
33:24popping.
33:25[laughter]
33:28>> Yo, chat. Should we gamble? [laughter]
33:30>> No. I have to go back to McConnell's
33:32house.
33:33Oh no.
33:38Oh my [ __ ] god.
33:50Damn, I [ __ ] up his flowers.
33:52>> I'm untouchable. I'm untouchable.
33:58>> I just noticed the gun.
34:00>> Yo, what's good, Mr. Connelly?
34:01>> Okay,
34:03continue.
34:04>> You seen my [ __ ] wife? I'm [ __ ]
34:06ready, man. I'm going to divorce her.
34:07>> Tell her you found her.
34:08>> I caught her. You're not going to
34:10believe the footage I got. It was like
34:12some behind the scenes of Mrs. Connaly's
34:15Gang Bang Adventure 3.
34:18>> Damn, that's [clears throat] bad.
34:19>> I don't want to hear it. Just [ __ ]
34:21tell me you got proof of it.
34:23>> Oh man. Give him the proof.
34:26>> Yeah. Here, I'll give you the VOD link.
34:28Let's do a watch party of it. I want to
34:29get a live reaction from you.
34:31>> Oh my god, this is degenerate. Holy
34:34[ __ ]
34:35>> I don't think so. I'm going to get a
34:37lawyer and be done with all this and
34:39her. Thank you, Kaden. Thank you, Kaden.
34:41>> Anything else you know that I could
34:42stream? That [ __ ] was good ass content.
34:45>> Ooh, why don't you find out what Mr.
34:47Dempsey is doing next door?
34:48>> Okay. All right, let's go over there.
34:50>> Yeah, I never [ __ ] see him leave his
34:51house other than bring back a bunch of
34:53weird [ __ ] Whips, [ __ ] chains,
34:56sodomy of some sort, I reckon.
34:58>> What the [ __ ]
35:00>> Um, speculate.
35:01>> He's probably a gooner, man. My chat's
35:03full of them.
35:03>> True based.
35:05>> I I don't know what the [ __ ] that means,
35:07but it sounds right.
35:08>> Inquire further. Is your wife getting
35:10cracked by him, too?
35:14>> Oh, no. Ooh, definitely not. He's not
35:17much of a people person. Whenever I
35:19talked to him, he just wanted to end the
35:21conversation as soon as possible, like
35:22he was always in a hurry.
35:23>> Damn.
35:23>> If you manage to talk to him, maybe you
35:25can tell me why he's so damn weird.
35:28>> Okay, I'll do it.
35:29>> Thanks for the tip, Mr. Connelly. Catch
35:31you later.
35:32>> Oh my god.
35:36Oh my god.
35:39Wow. Okay, let's go next door right now.
35:45>> Ring the doorbell.
35:46>> I don't want your Girl Scout cookies and
35:48I don't want to hear about Jesus. Go
35:51away.
35:52>> Okay.
35:54Uh, why don't we go to back? Why don't
35:56we go back back to his house? Okay. Um.
36:00Ooh. What's this? Inspect. Put your ear
36:04up to the basement window. Wait, what?
36:07You hear crying and what sounds like
36:08muffled yelling.
36:11What the [ __ ]
36:15I don't know. It's Maybe there's tools
36:16nearby you can use. Okay. Oh, it's got
36:19to be in the shed, right?
36:21Let me check in the shed.
36:22>> Chat, tell streamers to raid me.
36:24>> Oh, lockpicking kit. Okay, good. Oh,
36:27he's got American flag. It's a patriot.
36:31Okay, let's go inside. What the hell is
36:33that sound?
36:36>> What?
36:38Oops.
36:43>> Got [ __ ] [ __ ]
36:46All right. Open.
36:48Open. Doro.
36:50>> The power.
36:51>> Hey, what have you seen? Huh? How do you
36:53here? Come here.
36:55>> Don't touch me, pedo. You're on stream.
36:57>> Damn.
36:58>> Ah, get the [ __ ] out of here, kid regret
37:01it. No. No. What? I'm going to get back
37:05in there. I'm getting back in there
37:07right now.
37:13Okay.
37:16All right. I have to investigate without
37:18him seeing me.
37:22Hell is that sound?
37:24>> Oh [ __ ]
37:27>> Oh, what the [ __ ]
37:33Chad, where should I go? What?
37:35>> Please, no more. Just kill me already.
37:38>> What the [ __ ] Kidnapping victim. The
37:42[ __ ] is this?
37:43>> Oh, holy [ __ ] That's a clip. Clip this,
37:45guys.
37:46>> Damn. What the [ __ ] Oh my god. Who is
37:51that?
37:51>> Uhoh.
37:52>> I'm Kaden Brenley. You're on stream
37:54right now, by the way, so don't say
37:55nothing bad.
37:56>> Uhoh. Oh my god. Where is he? Please
37:59help me. He's been keeping me down here
38:01for weeks.
38:02>> I'm going to I'm going to save him. I'm
38:03going to save him.
38:04>> Yo, no worries. I'll get you out of here
38:06cuz I want to help out the less
38:08fortunate. I learned that word from Kai
38:10Syninnapse. He been reading and [ __ ]
38:12>> Oh god.
38:14>> What?
38:14>> Reading and [ __ ]
38:16>> Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Please just
38:19just untie me and and call the police
38:22before he finds you.
38:23>> Mhm.
38:24>> Who? Why are you down here?
38:27the [ __ ] crazy [ __ ] who went to
38:29Washington. Who do you think?
38:31>> You need to help us.
38:33>> I'm going to correct him.
38:34>> When you mean us? I'm not locked here. I
38:36can leave whenever I want.
38:37>> Damn. Let him know.
38:38>> There is a man in the other room behind
38:41you. I think he's been here since before
38:44me.
38:44>> Wait, what? Tell him he's they're not
38:47there anymore. They're dead.
38:48>> Uh, whoever he is, he's not there
38:50anymore. Probably dead and chopped into
38:52pieces. Did you know chopped also means
38:54cut up? I just learned that.
38:58Oh my god. Holy [ __ ] [ __ ] We have to
39:01get out of here. How did you find me
39:04anyway?
39:04>> Mr. Connelly.
39:06>> Mr. Connelly next door told me to find
39:08content here.
39:08>> Mods, give a shout out to Mr. Connelly.
39:11Make sure to follow him, chat.
39:12>> Definitely, for sure.
39:13>> Please just help me call the police. I
39:17don't want to die.
39:19>> I'm going to use him as content.
39:25Yeah, bet. I'll call him right now. So,
39:28what's it been like down here?
39:29>> Uh-huh.
39:30>> He's sick. He He's a sick [ __ ] He
39:33tortures us in every way imaginable with
39:36with [ __ ] rusty tools.
39:38>> Oh, God. Just please get help.
39:41>> Inquire further.
39:42>> Damn. Can you come close to the bars? I
39:44want to make sure Chat can see the
39:46wounds clearly. Chat, can you see that?
39:48>> Damn.
39:49>> Please. I'm so [ __ ] scared. Please
39:52get me out of here before he comes back
39:55down.
39:56>> More content. More content.
39:58>> Do you think you can come on my podcast
39:59to talk about this whole experience? I
40:01think we could make it like a whole
40:03series, maybe.
40:04>> Oh my god. Okay, please. Why haven't you
40:07called for help yet?
40:08>> Give a dungeon tour.
40:09>> Okay, one sec. I just want to give chat
40:11a tour real quick.
40:13>> Uh-oh. Uh-oh. I've got I've got to tone
40:14it down.
40:18Oh, guys. Yo. Yo, look at these tools.
40:22Chat, vote for which one you think he
40:24got tortured with. Yeah, Mr. Dempsey is
40:26kind of a freak though. On God.
40:28[laughter]
40:30>> Oh god.
40:32A triple dot.
40:33>> That's enough. Call the [ __ ] police
40:34now, please.
40:35>> Okay, I'm going to call.
40:36>> Okay. Okay, I'm calling. All right.
40:38>> Can you shout me out when they get here,
40:39though, and tell your friends Kaden
40:41Brentley saved you? I'm always live.
40:43>> I'm always live.
40:44>> Jesus Christ. Yes. Please [ __ ] hurry.
40:47>> Damn.
40:49Damn.
40:50>> Big misunderstanding. I want my lawyers.
40:52>> I've never seen this man in my life. GET
40:54YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME.
40:56>> I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO IDIOT.
40:58>> Get your hands off my penis.
41:00>> What?
41:02>> Okay, let me Sigma.
41:04>> Wait, why are there Oh.
41:07>> Oh, I know why. Hey, kid. You can't be
41:10here. We're collecting evidence. Ask for
41:13content.
41:14>> Yo, can I see one of these bodies? It'd
41:16be pretty good content. And I don't even
41:17got to go to a suicide forest,
41:21>> man.
41:23Man, not a chance.
41:25>> A damn it, bro.
41:29>> Damn. That's too bad. Okay,
41:32>> move it along, kid. This is an active
41:33crime scene.
41:35>> I'm a I'm going to flex on her,
41:37>> bro. You know who I am. I'm the one who
41:39caught Mr. Dempsey. Have some respect on
41:41my name.
41:41>> True.
41:42>> If you've already had your statement
41:43taken, you've got no reason being here.
41:45Is your mom going to pick you up? I'm
41:46going to r her up. I'm immediately start
41:48hitting on the cop.
41:49>> I could be picking you up and you could
41:51be my mommy. You know what I'm saying?
41:55>> You want to get arrested? That's how you
41:56get arrested, kid. Watch it or you're
41:58going in handcuffs.
42:00>> Handcuffs? Don't threaten me with a good
42:02time. Fine [ __ ]
42:05[laughter and crying]
42:09Oh my god.
42:11This is wild. Okay. Um, let me see. All
42:14right. Ask about the kidnapping victim
42:16in
42:16>> the dude in the cage who I saved. Is he
42:18going to be okay? I need to finish my
42:20interview with him.
42:21>> Yeah,
42:21>> he was taken to the hospital. Extreme
42:23malnourishment on top of all the other
42:25awful stuff that sucks.
42:26>> Damn, that's bad.
42:27>> Last thing he wants is you annoying him.
42:29>> Oh,
42:29>> I'm not annoying. Mods, start a poll.
42:32Chad, am I annoying,
42:33>> Chad? Am I annoying?
42:35>> So, what's going to happen to Mr.
42:36Dempsey?
42:37>> Is he going?
42:37>> Suspect's most likely going away for a
42:39long time. We found multiple bodies in
42:41his house. We think there might be more.
42:43>> Damn, that's didn't catch you. The only
42:45reason you're not in a body bag right
42:46now is probably because you were
42:48broadcasting live and he got scared.
42:49>> True.
42:50>> Did you hear that, chat? The stream kept
42:52me alive. Keep slabbing. The subaton's
42:53got to keep going.
42:55>> Some chat guy is annoying as [ __ ] Okay,
42:58let me go to this guy.
43:01>> Yo, what's good, Mr. Connelly?
43:03>> Did you see the [ __ ] cops arrest Mr.
43:05Dempsey next door? I already had [ __ ]
43:07people locked down in there.
43:09>> Uh, tell them you called the cops.
43:11>> That was me, bro. I found a dude tied up
43:13down there and called the cops.
43:15>> Holy
43:16[ __ ] That was you? You're a [ __ ]
43:19hero, Kaden.
43:21>> Yeah, I guess. I just wish it was a
43:23chick so I could have risked her up.
43:24>> Ask about his wife. [snorts]
43:27>> Yo, so about your wife the two time.
43:30>> Damn.
43:32>> Yeah, I'm going to be serving her the
43:34divorce papers as soon as she gets home
43:36if she ever does. Still [ __ ] waiting.
43:38>> Damn.
43:41Okay. Um,
43:44>> yo, what's good? [ __ ]
43:47>> Let [laughter] me go back. Okay. Now,
43:49all right. I have 44 viewers now. Let me
43:52keep moving around and I I can't get
43:55suspended cuz I'm worried I'm going to
43:57get suspended.
43:58>> Your body count.
43:59>> Adult circumcision.
44:02What?
44:15Can I go inside this house? Let me see
44:18if I can go inside the house.
44:22I'm trying to see if I can break into
44:24break into our house. I can't. No, I
44:27cannot. I have to go to another house.
44:29Let's go to the other.
44:32No, never mind. Never mind. Check. Can
44:33you guys host me?
44:34>> Can you guys host me? Vandalize. Ring
44:37doorbell. Why don't I ring doorbell?
44:39Hello.
44:42>> Continue.
44:43>> Hello. Who's there?
44:44>> Me.
44:44>> Hello. I'm with the Mormon School of
44:46Soen and Tora Kraken. Uh, do you have
44:48time to talk about your faith today?
44:50>> My god.
44:51>> Uh, I already go to church. I ain't
44:54interested.
44:55>> I might give him money.
44:56>> Wait. We'll give you $200 if you just
44:58listen for a bit.
45:00>> Okay.
45:01>> Really? Okay. I'm listening.
45:04>> All right.
45:05>> Our Lord says the path [music] to
45:06redemption is to follow Kaden Brenley on
45:09Twe. This is the only way to salvation.
45:12>> True, brother.
45:14>> Huh? This ain't funny. Get off my
45:16property. [laughter]
45:20>> Okay. All right. I got to leave. Let me
45:22go to this one. I'm going to go to this
45:24one. Hello.
45:26>> Hello. What do you want?
45:28>> Impersonate the IRS.
45:29>> Uh, this is the IRS. You've been evading
45:32our calls.
45:33>> You really think you could escape us,
45:35Smith?
45:35>> Uh-oh.
45:36>> You won't get me alive, [ __ ] Wait
45:38there. You'll be chasing lead from your
45:40ass to your mouth, [ __ ]
45:42>> Oh [ __ ]
45:42>> Oh [ __ ] Chat, this [ __ ] is crazy.
45:47>> I'm like a zoomer, man. This is bad.
45:52Yeah, this is really bad, guys.
45:56Continue.
45:56>> Hello.
45:57>> Hey, I got your Blubber Eats order here.
45:59>> Blubber Eats.
46:00>> Um, my wife must have ordered something.
46:02What's the order?
46:04>> Uh, juice.
46:05>> Some juice. You guys are PVC fans, too.
46:07>> P.
46:10>> Uh, I don't know. Honey, did you order
46:13some juice?
46:16>> No, I'm not making fun of your body.
46:18What? I knew it.
46:20>> No, you just look like you're on
46:21steroids. [laughter]
46:23>> I got to go.
46:24>> Damn, bro. I ruined this dude's life.
46:27>> Okay, what about this guy?
46:30>> Um Oh, I think if I kick the ball, I'm
46:32going to lose I'm going to lose points.
46:35>> Hello.
46:35>> Hello.
46:36>> Hello. This is Sergeant Brenley of the
46:39United States Marine Corps. Do not come
46:41to the door. This is a matter of life
46:43and death.
46:44>> Uhoh. Uh-oh.
46:45>> The Marine Corps. What's happening?
46:48There's a nuclear attack coming from uh
46:51Canada. We need you to shelter inside
46:53immediately. Do not come out until a
46:56year after the blast. It'll be
46:58radioactive.
46:59>> Okay, that makes sense.
46:59>> Oh my god. What? I need to call my
47:02family. Hold on. Let me turn on the
47:03news.
47:04>> What a stupid [ __ ]
47:05>> Your family is probably already dead,
47:07>> and you can't use any TV or phones right
47:09now. The signals will interfere with our
47:12uh military equipment.
47:13>> This is crucial.
47:15>> Oh my god. I can't believe this is
47:17happening. I need to hide. Thank you,
47:19Sergeant Brenley.
47:21>> So stupid.
47:23So [ __ ] [ __ ]
47:26Okay. Um, he's so awful. I know.
47:29>> Paste. [laughter] Yeah.
47:33Oh, can I go over? I can't quite go over
47:34that. All right, let me go down this
47:36way. Okay. Maplewood Community Center.
47:40Can I go in here? Oh my god, I can. The
47:43courtyard.
47:45Oh [ __ ]
47:48All right. Who's this?
47:51>> Hello. Welcome to Maplewood Community
47:53Center. Do you need any help?
47:54>> Question. Uh, I'm going to try and hook
47:56up with her.
47:56>> You could help my stream out. People
47:58love couples content. Yo, Mods, change
48:00my title to live with an Asian baddy.
48:08>> That's crazy.
48:10>> Oh, no. You look like you're still in
48:12high school. Also, I'm married. Do you
48:15actually need help with anything?
48:17>> Nah, I'm good.
48:18>> No, I'm [laughter] That's it. Okay. What
48:21about this guy?
48:23>> Hey, welcome to Maplewood Community
48:25Center. Do you have any question about
48:27our upcoming events?
48:28>> I'm going to tell him what to do.
48:29>> Yo, bro, just letting you know, you're
48:32wasting this place. This would make a
48:33sick stream in house. Ooh, or a casino.
48:35>> A casino? I like the sound of that. Oh,
48:38I can get new moderators.
48:39>> That's actually pretty good.
48:40>> Oo, that's good.
48:41>> We could host some community gaming
48:43parties. You interesting in
48:44volunteering?
48:46>> Bro, I got a full ass subathon to do.
48:48Why you asking me to volunteer?
48:50>> Maybe not.
48:51>> Just never understand how hard it is to
48:52be a streamer.
48:53>> True.
48:54>> Oh,
48:55>> they don't understand the grind.
48:56>> Oh, let me know if you need anything.
48:59>> Nah, I'm good. A tip though, you voice
49:01line kind of like an NPC. You should
49:03work on that.
49:04>> Damn. Damn, bro. Let him know. Okay, so
49:08if you mod me, maybe I can get closer.
49:10If I can get closer to her. So, this is
49:12a girl
49:13>> my drip.
49:14>> Okay. Do I want to
49:18420 all day?
49:21When will HOA address the hoarder house?
49:24I can't stand to look at it anymore.
49:26I'll be bringing this up. Wait, this is
49:27a guy complaining about me. Well, [ __ ]
49:29this guy. Okay. Um,
49:36man.
49:37All right. I'm going to give
49:41I'm going to get this one because I'm
49:42already really strict in general. So,
49:44I'm going to I'm going to remove this.
49:47You guys really want 420.
49:50>> You guys really think 420 should be it.
49:57>> Here's what I do.
50:04I'm going to unmod automod and I'm going
50:06to put this dumb [ __ ] in there. There
50:09it is. And my total strictness is neg5.
50:14We just got the straight [ __ ] running
50:16wild. Let the [ __ ] run wild. That's
50:20fine. That's good. Okay, let's go
50:23inside.
50:23>> I'm out of subs. I'm out of content.
50:26[music]
50:27>> Damn.
50:28Okay, put your stream still awake.
50:33>> He turns his own stream on.
50:36>> A based.
50:38Okay. What about this? Save game. Okay.
50:42Uh I'm going to sleep.
50:45A I'm such a good boy. Look at me.
50:50Wow.
50:52Okay, now what? Let me go over here.
50:54>> Oh, I can't open any of these doors.
50:57>> Not in the community center.
50:58>> Tab open for your boy. Keep the c the
51:01tab open. Oh [ __ ] Who? Wait, the
51:03community man. Oh, it's the big guy.
51:05>> Hello. Is there something wrong with the
51:07TV out there again?
51:09>> Yo, bro. Sick stash. You just need some
51:11sunglasses. Then you're ready to cheat
51:12on your wife.
51:15>> Dr. Disrespect.
51:17>> Huh? Was that a compliment or an insult?
51:21>> A compliment, bro. With a mustache like
51:23that, you're ready to get all the
51:24miners.
51:28This game has some really good dialogue.
51:30>> What are you talking about? Anyways, do
51:32you need help with anything?
51:33>> Ask about roll.
51:34>> So, how come you get your own little
51:36office here when all the other employees
51:37have to share that shack outside? Need
51:39privacy to goon or something?
51:43>> Well, I own and manage this community
51:45center. The volunteer who works here get
51:47their separate offices since our
51:49responsibility are are a little
51:51different.
51:52>> Uh-huh. Continue. you. That was the most
51:53boring thing I've ever heard. What can I
51:56do here?
51:56>> I do have something you could do.
51:58Actually, some guy has been harassing us
52:00constantly.
52:01>> Who is it?
52:01>> Would you tell him to stop? He runs a
52:03outdoor store next to us.
52:05>> Bro, who do you think I am? Your
52:07personal messenger? Because I am. I'll
52:10talk to him.
52:11>> Okay. What? All right. Let me go talk to
52:13this loser. Where's this loser ass dick
52:16sucker?
52:18Where's he at?
52:20Where's his [ __ ] ass? He's over here.
52:24Let's go.
52:27Oh, there it is. Let me go all the way
52:29around. Make sure there's nothing around
52:31the back.
52:34What's this? I can save. I don't need to
52:36save.
52:37>> All right, let me go inside now. It's
52:39time. Read his mail. Thank you for your
52:42continued subscription with the Data
52:44Wars newsletter.
52:46We may have We may have won the
52:48election, but we haven't won the war
52:49yet. While we celebrate victory, the
52:51global shadow regime is invigorating
52:54North Korea and the Soviet proxy
52:56government. They'll soon finish
52:58synthesizing another virus to sabotage
53:00our president's plan to eradicate these
53:02pedophilic demons. With a small donation
53:05every month, you can help save our
53:07country. More info inside. Okay, let's
53:09go inside right now.
53:12>> Dr. Yeast. So he uh he makes these
53:15videos and uh
53:17>> can't wait till President Cornwall
53:19visits our town.
53:20>> He'll finally deport them Korean spies.
53:24>> He is the antichrist.
53:26This guy will be a billionaire in the
53:28next two years. And you don't get that
53:30type of money, fight.
53:33>> Cornwood's got to stop him.
53:34>> He's going to drain that swamp any day
53:37now.
53:38>> Corn. You can look it up. Look it up.
53:43Howdy. Welcome in. Feel free to look
53:45around.
53:46>> See her. Oh my. Ask about the radio,
53:48>> bro. What you listening to on your
53:49radio?
53:50>> Uh-huh.
53:52>> It's the Data Wars podcast endorsed by
53:54President Cletus Cornwood himself. If
53:56you're still listening to mainstream
53:58media, sorry to say, you've got your
54:00head under the sand.
54:01>> I'm going to ask more about it.
54:04>> Damn.
54:04>> What's so great about data wars then?
54:07>> Oh my god.
54:08>> Well, I'll bet you didn't know the North
54:09Koreans were planning to invade us.
54:11True, brother. True. You got to let him
54:13know.
54:14>> Wars has the proof.
54:16>> Believe it. I believe it.
54:16>> Better be watching.
54:17>> I believe it right now.
54:18>> Streaming for nothing.
54:19>> Yo, what up to my Korean viewers?
54:21>> What?
54:22>> They are not your friends. They are
54:24spies who want you dead. Like them
54:27people at the community center across
54:28from me.
54:29>> Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
54:30>> You telling me that the people at the
54:31community center are Korean?
54:33>> OH, ONE OF THE GUY DID KIND OF LOOK LIKE
54:34KOREAN.
54:35>> I told him to quit pointing their
54:36cameras at me, but they just lied and
54:38told me it was harmless surveillance.
54:40Don't believe me? Go talk to them and
54:41you'll see their lives.
54:43>> Yeah, cuz it was that chick was Asian.
54:44Yeah, true.
54:46>> All right. Sure. Why not? Content is
54:48content.
54:48>> Yeah.
54:49>> Yep. It was a false flag.
54:52>> Don't get caught in the mud when it
54:54matters most. Trust insurrect tires for
54:56any occasion, any terrain,
55:00any situation.
55:02Insurrect tires. Tread on those so they
55:04don't
55:06visit.
55:07>> Tread on those so they can't tread on
55:09you. Oh man, that's good. Okay, let me
55:11go. All right, so now let's turn this
55:14in. Okay, you think we don't notice your
55:16entire chat spotted? No. Okay, I'm going
55:20to ask this girl. Is are you a Korean
55:22spy?
55:22>> Hello again. Do you have any questions?
55:24>> Ask about their race.
55:28What kind of Chinese are you?
55:30>> Yo, so I'm trying to learn about the
55:31world and [ __ ] Where are you from?
55:33>> Oh, well, I was born here, but my
55:35parents are from THE PHILIPPINES. THAT'S
55:37A FUNNY QUESTION, THOUGH. Is there any
55:39other reason you're asking?
55:40>> Jonathan from the outdoor store asked.
55:43>> That dude running the outdoor store
55:45thinks you guys are Korean spies. Is
55:46that true?
55:48>> What? What?
55:49>> This is so typical of him. He has been
55:50harassing us for a while now about our
55:52cameras and just our general presence. I
55:55think he's just racist.
55:56>> What?
55:57>> No. I told you I'm not Korean and I'm
56:00definitely not a spy. Don't listen to
56:01that nut job.
56:02>> Damn. Damn. Is that right?
56:05>> Hey, do you need anything? I ask about
56:07the race.
56:08>> Yo, can I do a bet with you real quick?
56:10My chat loves gambling content. I bet
56:12you five bucks I can guess your race.
56:14>> You're white.
56:16>> Sure. You're on. Everyone always gets
56:19this wrong.
56:20>> You're Mexican.
56:23>> You look a little Mexican. Am I right?
56:25[laughter]
56:26>> Not even close. I'm from Myanmar. You
56:29got the
56:30>> What the [ __ ] is that?
56:32>> Yeah.
56:32>> Is that in Korea?
56:33>> Pretty sure that means I don't have to
56:35pay you. chat. I was close enough,
56:37right?
56:37>> Yeah, right. Yeah,
56:38>> it's whatever, bro.
56:40>> You don't get to pay me. You're saving
56:42me from boring workday, so I'll just
56:44take that.
56:44>> Oh, what a little [ __ ]
56:46>> Jesus.
56:47>> Chat, am I oring?
56:49>> Oh my god.
56:52Look at the [ __ ]
56:55Jesus Christ. [music]
56:57This is This is really indepth, man.
57:01Oh my god.
57:04I I I'm kind of I'm I'm quite impressed.
57:07I really am. This is good. Okay, let me
57:09go back down to the bottom.
57:12Okay,
57:14where's the Where's Oh, where's the guy?
57:16I got to talk to this guy. Oh, yeah.
57:18Yeah, yeah, this is the guy.
57:19>> Hey, kiddo. What do you need?
57:21>> Ask about his race.
57:22>> Yo, quick question for you. You wouldn't
57:24happen to be Korean, would you?
57:26>> Is you Korean or not?
57:27>> That's pretty good. I'm half Tibetan and
57:30half Korean, actually.
57:32inquire further.
57:35>> Oh [ __ ] half Korean. So like half of
57:38you is North Korean and the other half
57:39is South.
57:40>> The 50% Korean part is 100% South. My
57:44mom is from Saul.
57:48>> So the other 50% must be North Korean.
57:50>> Bro, I don't understand what the hell
57:51you're saying. I ain't good at math.
57:53>> The [ __ ]
57:53>> There's nothing else. I need to get back
57:55to work. Feel free to enjoy the
57:57amenities here, though.
58:02Oh, what? No. Okay. Okay. So, he ain't
58:05do math. Yeah. No, he ain't no math.
58:07He's a spy. I think he could be a North
58:09Korean spy. I feel like it's very high
58:11probability. Pretty much like 100%.
58:14>> We just got finished talking about these
58:16so-called titty streamers who are
58:18enticing and corrupting our children.
58:21But you know what's even more dangerous?
58:24Of
58:24>> course. How could I not see? Dr. Yeast,
58:27you you guessed it right. It's China.
58:30All right. China has been spying on us
58:33from the very beginning, but it's not
58:35how you think. They're not doing it
58:37through them phones. All right.
58:39>> Can't wait till President Cornwall
58:40visits our town.
58:42>> He'll finally deport them Korean spies.
58:44>> You see in the air, those are owned by
58:47China.
58:47>> The birds.
58:48>> All right. Now, that alien flu that
58:51you've been hearing about, that's what
58:53killed all the real birds.
58:54>> Yep. Exactly. It was a false
58:56manufacturing
58:58>> mechanical robotic birds. And you know,
59:01China has been playing around with
59:03manufacturing these robotic birds for so
59:06long, they've gotten real advanced at
59:07it, too. So,
59:09>> good birds.
59:10>> How can I not see
59:11>> fake birds, the mechanical parts of it
59:15will
59:16>> Oh my god,
59:17>> that's how advanced they are. And it'll
59:19look just like flesh and bone. You can
59:22test it and it'll match the DNA of a
59:24real bird.
59:27>> He's going to drain that swamp
59:29>> any day now.
59:30>> Any day now, brother.
59:32>> Some calls now from viewers. Uh we got
59:34Cletus on the line. Cletus from uh North
59:38Carolina. What can you tell us about
59:40these birds?
59:40>> Can't wait till President Cornwood
59:42visits our town to finally deport them
59:44Korean spies. But
59:46>> something been strange going on around
59:48here. And I just got to tell y'all now,
59:52I've been working on them farms for all
59:55>> my [ __ ] Koreans at Community Center.
59:57>> Yeah, I found them, ain't they?
59:59>> They're all Korean.
1:00:00>> Yo, bro, I went over there and talked to
1:00:02them.
1:00:03>> Turns out
1:00:04>> they're all Korean.
1:00:06>> You were right, bro. They're all North
1:00:09Korean.
1:00:10>> Damn.
1:00:11>> Oh, Christ. I knew we have to figure out
1:00:13what they're up to.
1:00:15>> We're dead. They might be planning an
1:00:17attack as we speak.
1:00:18>> Uhoh.
1:00:19Holy [ __ ] How do we stop it?
1:00:21>> I don't know what we need to play their
1:00:23game. We need intel. Go over there and
1:00:25search through their documents,
1:00:27computers, whatever. We need to see what
1:00:29they're doing.
1:00:29>> Okay.
1:00:30>> All right, bro. I'll check it out. If
1:00:32you're right, maybe we can do a collab
1:00:33with Data Wars. That'd be content.
1:00:36>> Oh my.
1:00:38>> Your children are going to die to China.
1:00:40They got their eyes open.
1:00:42>> No one's got to stop him. He's going to
1:00:44drain that.
1:00:46>> This is [ __ ] ridiculous.
1:00:50Okay, I'm going to steal this bitch's
1:00:51[ __ ]
1:00:52>> Yo, chat, where should we look?
1:00:54>> Okay, let's open.
1:00:54>> I see a bunch of boring ass folders.
1:00:56>> Let's open the documents.
1:00:57>> Holy [ __ ] Look at this folder, chat.
1:00:59Top secret. Do not open. This is got to
1:01:02be the secret plans.
1:01:03>> This is the China [ __ ] or North Korea.
1:01:05>> I think it is.
1:01:07>> Open uh Asian RBTX
1:01:11or ammo. We're going to do the second
1:01:14one.
1:01:14>> What the [ __ ] is this? Why he got Asian
1:01:17rabbit Xbox downloaded on his work
1:01:19computer?
1:01:20>> I don't know. Tell Justin to DM me.
1:01:22>> DM me, Justin.
1:01:25>> Asian rabbit X.
1:01:26>> Thank you, M. Lol for the dono. Oo.
1:01:30[crying]
1:01:32>> Oh my god.
1:01:34>> That's three oos for you.
1:01:38>> Oh my god.
1:01:41This dude straight up gooning in the
1:01:43maple with community center
1:01:45>> based.
1:01:47Okay. All right. So, we figured it out.
1:01:51Now we know what the answer is.
1:01:53>> Uh-huh.
1:01:55>> Yeah. Them hoes is wild.
1:01:57>> You find anything on their communist
1:01:59computers yet?
1:02:00>> The commuters. [laughter]
1:02:02>> Anyway, they planned an attack.
1:02:03>> Hell yeah, brother.
1:02:04>> Bro, I looked through their computers.
1:02:06You'll never guess what I found.
1:02:07>> I found plans to destroy America.
1:02:11I found orders from their supreme leader
1:02:13uh Kim Kardashian or whatever about
1:02:15their plans to destroy America. They're
1:02:17going to start with your shop.
1:02:19>> Oh no.
1:02:21>> Oh my god. It all makes sense. Alec
1:02:24Johnson was right about everything.
1:02:25>> I knew it.
1:02:26>> We're putting an end to this. Go over
1:02:28there and knock out those cameras.
1:02:31>> Antichrist.
1:02:33>> Can I shoot the cameras with those guns
1:02:34on the wall instead? Those skins look
1:02:36expensive. Case hardened.
1:02:38>> Case hardened. you one, kid. But I need
1:02:40to stock as many as I can for the
1:02:42impending war. Guns are not for sale.
1:02:44>> That's right.
1:02:45>> Okay, fine. I'll take out the cameras,
1:02:48chat. No snitching.
1:02:51>> I have to break the cameras. So, my dad
1:02:54used to do uh he used to be a truck
1:02:57driver like after he got out of Vietnam.
1:03:00And uh this is before he became a a
1:03:02carpenter and a and a college professor.
1:03:05He was a truck driver. and he said he
1:03:07used to drive a truck and deliver
1:03:10concrete a lot to this dude's house that
1:03:13was
1:03:14>> you think we should do
1:03:14>> he was basically trying to build a
1:03:16bunker for when they uh well the other
1:03:19word that they used to say black people
1:03:23you know in Florida whenever they revolt
1:03:26and start to start to fight back and my
1:03:30dad had to go and deliver him concrete
1:03:31on a regular basis.
1:03:35Yeah, African. That was the Yeah, that's
1:03:38I think that's the word. Africanamean.
1:03:41I'm pretty sure that was it. Oh, whoa.
1:03:43Where the cameras at? Let me bust this
1:03:45[ __ ] out.
1:03:47>> Yo, boom, [ __ ] Sponsor me.
1:03:49>> Boom, [ __ ] Get out of here. Oh, a
1:03:53third one. Damn.
1:03:56>> What the hell is going on here? What
1:03:58happened to our
1:03:58>> Shut up, [ __ ] Get back in the room.
1:04:00>> Good job from the outdoor store. Shot
1:04:02him out.
1:04:02>> Hell yeah.
1:04:03>> Hell you. I should have known this was
1:04:05you for the last time. Stop harassing
1:04:07us, you racist imbeile.
1:04:09>> Racist.
1:04:09>> What? Stop speaking that foreign
1:04:11language. This is America. That's what
1:04:13you get for filming porno of me.
1:04:16>> Hell yeah, brother.
1:04:17>> We're not filming anything. You're
1:04:19[ __ ] crazy.
1:04:21>> Crazy. You want to see her?
1:04:23>> ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU GODDAMN COMMIE.
1:04:25>> SHOOTER.
1:04:25>> OH MY GOD.
1:04:27>> [ __ ] TERRY, please call the police.
1:04:29>> No. What?
1:04:31>> USA. USA.
1:04:34Yeah.
1:04:36Okay.
1:04:38Well, that was great.
1:04:40Game slop. What the hell is this?
1:04:44What's game slop?
1:04:47Let me go into game slop.
1:04:50I have no That's a nice car.
1:04:54Who's in here?
1:04:57>> All right. Bye, guys. I'm turning stream
1:04:59off.
1:04:59>> Game slop employee.
1:05:00>> Greetings. Welcome to GameStop. Looking
1:05:03for a specific title today.
1:05:06>> Ask for a game recommendation.
1:05:09>> I want to know what a dweeb like you is
1:05:10into. What you think is the best game?
1:05:13>> Elen Ring. He's going to say Elen Ring.
1:05:14>> Oh, well, that one is easy. Elder Circle
1:05:18without a doubt is the greatest game of
1:05:21all time.
1:05:22>> Wow.
1:05:24>> I agree.
1:05:26>> Yeah, that's what I heard too, bro.
1:05:28>> Elder Circle is gas. Oh [ __ ] I just got
1:05:30viewers chat. I love Elder Circle.
1:05:35>> Exactly. Your chat knows culture it
1:05:38seems. How cultured are you is the
1:05:41question. Let me ask you, what game do
1:05:44you think is the greatest?
1:05:47>> NBA Claire Demure Exped 33. Balding
1:05:52Mates 3. Balding Mates 3 sounds like
1:05:55porn. So we're going to go with Exped
1:05:5833.
1:06:00Uh, Claire Demure, bro. That [ __ ] won
1:06:02like six gillion awards.
1:06:04>> Six gurillion,
1:06:11man. How about that?
1:06:16Interesting choice. We'll see what your
1:06:20chat thinks of [music] that decision.
1:06:23>> I wonder if everyone will show up to my
1:06:25DND game later. [laughter]
1:06:29Okay. What about fat over here?
1:06:31>> Welcome to GameStop slop, the greatest
1:06:33game emporium in all of the shadow
1:06:35world. Would you be interested in
1:06:37browsing my wares of pure darkness?
1:06:39>> That's the new world logo.
1:06:41>> Uh, mock him. I'm going to make fun of
1:06:43him.
1:06:44>> You're uh I can't even come up with a
1:06:47joke, dude. Just keep talking.
1:06:48>> Oh, no.
1:06:49>> I suppose I have bested you then, as is
1:06:51Lad. Another victorious duel in the
1:06:55books for Alistar Shadow Stone. Oh my
1:06:57god.
1:06:58>> That is not your name, bro. Your name
1:07:00tag says Alan Silverstein
1:07:03ass.
1:07:03>> Uh-huh.
1:07:04>> Do not use my slave name. I am Alice
1:07:07Shadowstone and I run this market. Do
1:07:09you want to browse my wares or not?
1:07:11>> Yes,
1:07:11>> sure, bro. What games you got?
1:07:14>> Ah, many in our collection. We traveler.
1:07:16I must ask, what poison are you in the
1:07:18mood to embibe today? A shooter, an MMO,
1:07:22a source like
1:07:23>> Ask for a new release.
1:07:25I want something fresh like my fit. Bro,
1:07:28give me something new.
1:07:32>> I'd recommend you check out the AI
1:07:33generated game section. Clear Demure
1:07:36Expediter Story 3 is our latest edition.
1:07:39>> Isn't it crazy, bro? It was one poster
1:07:42in Lumiere. And now, bro, build a 100
1:07:46bridges and you suck one dick. You're
1:07:48not a bridge builder. You're a dick
1:07:50sucker. That's crazy,
1:07:53>> bro. What the [ __ ] are you talking
1:07:55about? [laughter]
1:07:56>> Just check it out. It has no DEI in it,
1:07:59which means it's good. And it was made
1:08:01with AI, which removes human
1:08:03inefficiencies and mistakes.
1:08:05>> Wait, this is this is what I think.
1:08:08That's what my opinion is. [laughter]
1:08:11Praise AI.
1:08:13>> So, you telling me I can just shut my
1:08:15brain off and turn out content effort?
1:08:19[ __ ] fire. I got to get into this AI
1:08:21[ __ ]
1:08:21>> Uh-huh. Continue. Hm. Not quite. You
1:08:24have to be quite the expert in
1:08:25engineering to harness this power.
1:08:27>> Oh, true.
1:08:28>> What kind of engineer are you?
1:08:30>> A prompt engineer.
1:08:31>> I engineer prompts. I've spent countless
1:08:33hours writing the perfect sentence to
1:08:35produce my AI films. A skill few humans
1:08:37could even dream about.
1:08:38>> I'm going to insult him again.
1:08:40>> You sound like a [ __ ] AI, bro.
1:08:42>> Damn.
1:08:43>> I am not. You sound like AI.
1:08:46>> Yeah, right. I wouldn't know if I
1:08:48sounded like AI.
1:08:51>> Okay. Um, staff only.
1:08:54No, I I I'm already almost capped out. I
1:08:57might go to jail if they
1:08:58>> What's up? What you playing?
1:09:00>> Who's this?
1:09:00>> I'm not playing a game. I'm making
1:09:02money. My RNG is trash, though.
1:09:05>> Encourage
1:09:07gambling. I want to encourage gambling.
1:09:10>> Hell yeah, bro. What we gambling on?
1:09:13>> No, I'm not gambling on Stack. [music]
1:09:15I'm trading GameStop stock.
1:09:17>> Okay, ask for stock advice.
1:09:19>> You sound like you know what you're
1:09:20doing. Got any tips, bro?
1:09:21>> Uh-huh.
1:09:23>> Yeah, just buy GameStop and hodddle,
1:09:25bro. Don't listen to anyone who tells
1:09:26you it's going to crash. We're going to
1:09:28the moon.
1:09:28>> Oh, no,
1:09:29>> dude. I don't have the money to buy a
1:09:31whole store yet.
1:09:32>> Maybe when I'm rich like Dr. Yeast.
1:09:34>> Dr. Yeast.
1:09:35>> No shot. Stupid ass staff. Get off my
1:09:38dick.
1:09:42This chick What?
1:09:46You got suspended? Wait, I got
1:09:47suspended.
1:09:49I got suspended for what?
1:09:53What I do wrong? I didn't do nothing
1:09:55wrong.
1:09:57I didn't do [ __ ]
1:10:00They banned me over nothing. You believe
1:10:02that? Bam me over. I didn't do a [ __ ]
1:10:03thing. Gambling.
1:10:09Yeah.
1:10:11Yeah. I forgot. I forgot about that.
1:10:13>> Chat, that's a clip.
1:10:14>> I forgot. I forgot about gamble. I I
1:10:16forgot about that. I was gambling.
1:10:17That's true. You're right about that.
1:10:19Okay. Uh, let me see. Okay. I'mma go
1:10:22I'mma go Oh, what's over here? What's
1:10:24over here? What's here? Nothing.
1:10:27Nothing. Can I go over that? No, I
1:10:29can't. All right. Let me go. Can I go
1:10:31over this? Oh, I'm going to try one more
1:10:34time. One more time. One more time. One
1:10:35more time.
1:10:37I am that guy, bro. I'm that guy. Okay,
1:10:40let me go back this way. So, I lost a
1:10:42little bit of viewers for that one. That
1:10:43was kind of bad. I'm I'm only at 48
1:10:46viewers right now. chat. Is this good
1:10:48content?
1:10:50>> Who's this [ __ ] Let me get her again.
1:10:53I got to get her right. [ __ ] this. [ __ ]
1:10:55this. I'm going to go over there next.
1:10:57Oh. Oh, I'm grinding. I'm grinding. Oh.
1:11:00Oh. Oh. I'm actually that guy. I'm
1:11:04actually that guy. Jesus, bro. What's
1:11:07up,
1:11:07>> Spear?
1:11:09Come closer, child.
1:11:12>> [ __ ] what?
1:11:15[ __ ] what?
1:11:17Let me see into your third eye.
1:11:20>> I'm going to let her see.
1:11:22>> I see. I see into your cortexual soul
1:11:26stream. Your future. Do you want to know
1:11:30what your future holds?
1:11:32>> Yes.
1:11:35>> Yeah. What's the future of my stream? Am
1:11:38I going to be a dead streamer forever?
1:11:39>> Yes.
1:11:41>> Yes.
1:11:42The future of your stream. I see I see a
1:11:47place of abundance and aura.
1:11:50>> That's what I said.
1:11:52>> Yo, chat, she said my stream has aura.
1:11:55>> True, bro.
1:11:56>> You exude an aura of motivation.
1:11:59>> It is so wrong.
1:12:02>> Mhm.
1:12:02>> Let's go. We're so back, chat.
1:12:06>> Your future has been told. That'll be
1:12:08$10. Please.
1:12:11Uh,
1:12:14I'm going to give her money.
1:12:16>> Sure, why not? You've been good content.
1:12:18>> I'm going to help that [ __ ] out. I got
1:12:20plenty money. I got plenty money. I
1:12:21don't need to worry about [ __ ]
1:12:25>> Okay.
1:12:26What about over here? What's going on
1:12:28over Actually, I'm not ready for this.
1:12:32>> Goet. What the [ __ ] is this?
1:12:35>> What the [ __ ] is this?
1:12:37We're on lunch break. Be right back.
1:12:40Uh-uh. I'm not on lunch break.
1:12:44Oh.
1:12:46Oh, that's what's up.
1:12:50Oh,
1:12:52the hat. No headwear,
1:12:55sunglasses. I I I'm going to just keep
1:12:57the America shirt on. I don't think we
1:12:59need anything else.
1:13:02Yep, that's it. I'm going to just I'm
1:13:03going to steal it and run out of the
1:13:04store. That's mine now. What's in here?
1:13:07>> Clip this [ __ ] chat. What's up, [ __ ]
1:13:11>> How's it going? Can I help you with
1:13:12anything?
1:13:13>> Ask for rez tips.
1:13:14>> Yo, bro, it's
1:13:15>> pick up a baddie live on stream. You
1:13:17look like you got mad riz. Got any tips?
1:13:19>> Any tips?
1:13:20>> Ah, man. Look, it's simple. Literate,
1:13:23stylish, kissable, quiet. That's what
1:13:27girls dreams are made of. Don't got to
1:13:30try nothing fancy, bro.
1:13:32>> I'm going to down him. Okay, I'm going
1:13:33to down him.
1:13:35>> That ain't what Andrew Baitman says,
1:13:37bro. You got to be a high value alpha
1:13:39and make them know their place.
1:13:40>> [ __ ] That's right, bro. Like, you got
1:13:42to talk to That's right.
1:13:44>> Well, look, man. Good luck with that.
1:13:57[singing]
1:14:01>> I wonder what the topic at the bait club
1:14:03will be today.
1:14:12Welcome in. Looking for anything
1:14:14specific today?
1:14:16>> Ask what's wrong,
1:14:18>> bro? Why the long face? Everyone else
1:14:20working here seems smiley. They bullying
1:14:22you or some [ __ ]
1:14:23>> Oh my god.
1:14:24>> Actually, that girl working there is my
1:14:27girlfriend. I met her while working
1:14:29here. I'm just kind of down because of
1:14:31some stuff with her.
1:14:32>> Uh-oh. Oh no. I don't know. It's
1:14:36probably unprofessional to talk to
1:14:37>> another lawsuit.
1:14:38>> You probably wouldn't even care.
1:14:40>> Persuade him to tell you.
1:14:42>> Come on, bro. What else you going to do
1:14:43all day? I'm the only customer in here.
1:14:46>> Yes.
1:14:47>> Yeah, I guess you're right. What's the
1:14:49harm?
1:14:50>> Yes.
1:14:51>> A few months ago, my girlfriend Mel
1:14:53started working different shifts than me
1:14:55with that guy Tim over there.
1:14:57Coincidentally, not long after, she
1:14:59asked for an open relationship.
1:15:05Bro, how'd you bag her anyway? No
1:15:07offense, man. You look like a gnome.
1:15:10>> Oh my god.
1:15:13>> I just got lucky, I guess. Anyway, she
1:15:16started dating Tim on the side. And now
1:15:18she's spending more time with him than
1:15:20with me, and I got a little upset about
1:15:21it.
1:15:22>> Oh no.
1:15:23>> So now he's telling her that I'm being
1:15:25toxic and controlling. I think he wants
1:15:27her to break up with me.
1:15:28>> Oh no. I'm going to keep listening. I'm
1:15:30going to keep listening.
1:15:32I just want to make it right, you know?
1:15:34Maybe if I wasn't so insecure, we
1:15:36wouldn't be having this spat right now.
1:15:38I need to do better for her. Oh god,
1:15:41what a what a thoughtful guy.
1:15:42>> Bro, just listening to you makes me feel
1:15:44like a beta. I'll get to the bottom of
1:15:46this myself.
1:15:47>> True, bro.
1:15:49Damn. Gain perspective on Steven's love
1:15:51triangle. What's up, [ __ ]
1:15:53>> Hello. Welcome in. Let me know if you
1:15:55[music] need help finding anything.
1:15:58Uh, I'm going to fort with her instead,
1:16:01actually.
1:16:02>> Chat, watch. I'm about to show you how
1:16:03to res up a baddy.
1:16:05>> Hey, Shy. How about we have a little fun
1:16:08on one of the beds in the back.
1:16:09>> Damn.
1:16:10>> I'm sorry. We don't sell any race car
1:16:13beds here. The GameStop might have what
1:16:16you're looking for, though. Maybe your
1:16:17mom can take you.
1:16:22>> Try.
1:16:23>> How about I take you there instead, and
1:16:24we have a little arcade date. Maybe hop
1:16:26on a sushi smash.
1:16:28>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
1:16:29>> Maybe if you buy something first. I'm
1:16:32guessing you can't afford anything in
1:16:34here, though.
1:16:35>> What a [ __ ]
1:16:37>> So, you're $43.
1:16:38>> You told me about your open
1:16:40relationship.
1:16:40>> 43 to him, bro.
1:16:42>> Yeah. What?
1:16:43>> What? Steven talked to you about us? Why
1:16:46is he telling a stranger about our
1:16:48private relationship?
1:16:50>> Well, it doesn't seem private to me.
1:16:52>> Well, it's not exactly private, is it?
1:16:54More like communal.
1:16:56Man,
1:17:00I think it's a big problem the fact that
1:17:03I instinctually know every bad response
1:17:07that a toxic Zoomer would have.
1:17:13This is not good.
1:17:18I I I I don't know what to say.
1:17:21This really bad, bro. Like I don't I
1:17:24don't know.
1:17:26>> It's 2025. Polyamory should be
1:17:29normalized. Relationships aren't so
1:17:31black and white anymore.
1:17:33>> Oh,
1:17:35well, it looks like they are because of
1:17:36you with the other guy.
1:17:38>> Black and white relationship. Nah, I
1:17:41ain't even going to say that one.
1:17:46>> He already told me about it, so you
1:17:48might as well tell me what's going on.
1:17:49He bringing the vibe down in here on
1:17:51God.
1:17:53Steven and I agreed to this arrangement.
1:17:56I don't see why he's upset. Did he tell
1:17:58you about the affair he was having?
1:18:00>> Which one?
1:18:01>> Yeah. I didn't think so. He was seeing
1:18:03our coworker Lauren behind my back.
1:18:06>> Oh, no. It would have been okay if he
1:18:07had told me, but he was keeping it a
1:18:09secret.
1:18:09>> I'm going to def I'm going to defend
1:18:11Steven. I will defend him. Okay. Because
1:18:14listen, uh, a lock that gets opened by
1:18:17any key is a shitty lock, but a key that
1:18:20can open any lock is a master key.
1:18:23Defend Steven.
1:18:24>> Give him a break. Have you seen what he
1:18:26looks like? You should be proud of him
1:18:27for even getting any.
1:18:29>> True. True, bro.
1:18:31>> Whatever. That's not the point. But
1:18:33you're kind of right. I guess he
1:18:35deserves to be happy, too. Maybe I
1:18:36should break it off with Tim if it'll
1:18:38make Steven happy.
1:18:39>> Yeah. Yeah. That's right. That's right.
1:18:43I got I got I got to put in uh who's
1:18:48this guy? Damage control was a minus 40.
1:18:51All right, let me figure this out. I got
1:18:54to get somebody uh I got to unmod uh I
1:18:57got to unmod [ __ ] uh I'm going to get
1:19:01this [ __ ] out of here, bro. [ __ ] this
1:19:02[ __ ] Um and we're going to get
1:19:06>> I do not tolerate misbehavior. All
1:19:09right, I'm going to go I'm I'm going to
1:19:10put peak I'm going to get this guy in
1:19:12here. We don't need no damage control
1:19:14anyway. It doesn't even matter. Okay, so
1:19:16All right, cuz I don't want my Sandy to
1:19:18go too well because I don't know what's
1:19:19going to happen. All right, let me talk
1:19:21to this guy.
1:19:22>> What's up, little man? Need any help?
1:19:25>> Yo, bro, I heard you're dating Mel while
1:19:27she's already dating Steven. What's up
1:19:29with that?
1:19:30>> Damn. Yeah, true.
1:19:31>> Oh, yeah. Look, Mel and I just got along
1:19:34so well when we started working together
1:19:36more. And it turns out we're mattress
1:19:39professionals in more ways than one.
1:19:45Oh, really?
1:19:47She's been considering breaking it off
1:19:49with me to appease him, though. He's
1:19:51upset about me, even though I'm not
1:19:54doing anything wrong.
1:19:56>> I'm going to defend Steven again, bro.
1:19:59Like, this is [ __ ] up. They would do
1:20:00that to him.
1:20:02>> I don't know, man. He called Dibs first.
1:20:04You know what I'm saying?
1:20:04>> Yeah, bro. He owns her.
1:20:07>> Nah, man. If she wants to be with me,
1:20:09then it is what it is. No, bro.
1:20:11>> I ain't letting Steven get in the way of
1:20:13love.
1:20:13>> Uh-uh. No. That's [ __ ] up. Help either
1:20:17Steven or Tim win Mel's heart.
1:20:20>> Okay.
1:20:20>> Hey, again, let me know if you need
1:20:22anything. I'll just be in this corner.
1:20:24>> I'm going to help Steven right now. I'm
1:20:26going to help him out. If he wants two
1:20:28girlfriends, I say that's not enough.
1:20:32>> All right, man. I'm with you. That snake
1:20:34Tim is trying to get Mel to break up
1:20:36with you. We can start his ass.
1:20:39I know, but what can I do? I don't want
1:20:41to be controlling. If Mel wants to be
1:20:43with him, why should I get in the way?
1:20:45>> Call him a [ __ ] bro. Like, you got to
1:20:46man up. Man up right now,
1:20:48>> bro. You got no [ __ ] aura right now.
1:20:50You're just a big fat [ __ ] True. True.
1:20:52>> Where's your anger? Where are your
1:20:54balls?
1:20:54>> Yeah. Yeah.
1:20:55>> Yeah. You know what? I am angry.
1:20:58>> That's right. That's right. Beat him.
1:20:59>> Can't do that to me. I'm going to kick
1:21:00his ass.
1:21:01>> That's right. Yes.
1:21:02>> [ __ ] yeah, dude. Show him the wolf
1:21:04inside you. Let's hear your how. Damn,
1:21:07bro.
1:21:10>> I am a wolf.
1:21:11>> Oh, damn.
1:21:15>> Tim, I will destroy you.
1:21:21>> Okay, man.
1:21:22>> Chill.
1:21:27>> Stop it. You're hurting him.
1:21:31>> Wait,
1:21:33wait. Did I Did I beat him up?
1:21:35I think I beat him up, right?
1:21:37>> I want [ __ ] I think my nose is broken.
1:21:40Oh well, it was worth Mel saw me at
1:21:42least stand up for myself and is more
1:21:44attracted to me than ever. She broke up
1:21:46with Tim. Thanks, dude.
1:21:48>> That's right. That's right.
1:21:50>> Hey again. Thanks for helping me see
1:21:52Steven was the one for me. Deep down, I
1:21:55think I always knew.
1:21:56>> Oh, yeah. You knew that. Oh, for sure.
1:21:58Definitely.
1:21:59>> Bro, did you see me kick Steven's gnome
1:22:02ass?
1:22:03>> Wait, wait. He beat him up.
1:22:05>> That
1:22:06>> boy. So he got beat up and he still got
1:22:08the girl. Oh my god. Okay.
1:22:13Oh, it's a big Oh, wow. Wow. Look at
1:22:16bakery time.
1:22:19Frosted sprinkled donut. Oh boy. Just
1:22:24what I wanted.
1:22:26Produce hub.
1:22:27>> What's this?
1:22:29>> Yikes. Uh-oh. Our ingredients. You're
1:22:33satisfactory.
1:22:35Who's this?
1:22:35>> Yes.
1:22:36>> Yes. Tell them you're I have to
1:22:38immediately tell her I'm streaming.
1:22:40>> Hey, Shotty, you looking mad good. Want
1:22:43to say hi to my stream?
1:22:44>> Yes.
1:22:45>> You're a bit young to be talking to me
1:22:46like that. Are you filming a video or
1:22:48something?
1:22:49>> Yes, [ __ ] I just told you.
1:22:50>> I'm just looking for content. You got
1:22:52any pointers?
1:22:52>> Yeah.
1:22:53>> Yeah. You should do one of those videos
1:22:55where you pay for people's groceries,
1:22:56starting with mine.
1:22:57>> Decline.
1:22:58>> Man, I would, but [music] I already gave
1:23:00all my money to homeless people.
1:23:03going to pay for that [ __ ] bro. Like,
1:23:05>> you know that, right?
1:23:05>> She can do Only Fans if she needs. I
1:23:07don't need to pay for that. [ __ ] that.
1:23:09Yeah, the sips pay for that [ __ ] I'mma
1:23:12knock this around. Yeah. What's up,
1:23:13[ __ ] I do what I want. We out here.
1:23:17What's up? What's up, fat? What's up,
1:23:20fat? Question.
1:23:22>> Holy [ __ ] When did I walk into the Twin
1:23:24Staff headquarters?
1:23:26>> It's a moderator.
1:23:28>> I'm a kitten. Meow.
1:23:33Oh, this is the content jackpot, dude.
1:23:36>> We got a soil viewer here.
1:23:38>> A soil.
1:23:40>> Oh my. So,
1:23:42>> can you buy me cat food, Senpai?
1:23:45>> Do I want to feed Fatty some food? Do I
1:23:48want to buy Fatty? I'm going to buy
1:23:50Fatty some food.
1:23:51>> Hey, if you can keep providing me
1:23:52content like that, anything. Meet me at
1:23:54the registers later.
1:23:56>> Okay.
1:23:59Wait. Offer to pay for food. I I didn't
1:24:01want to pay for all of them. I just want
1:24:02to pay for that [ __ ] Who's this? Who
1:24:05this?
1:24:05>> Yes.
1:24:06>> Yes. Offer to buy their G. No. No. Uh,
1:24:11maybe I have to. Maybe I have to.
1:24:13>> Chat, you know this whole thing is
1:24:14pre-recorded.
1:24:14>> Who's bald?
1:24:17Offer to buy groceries.
1:24:18>> Yo, I'm buying everyone's groceries in
1:24:20the store today. Meet me up front later.
1:24:21And
1:24:21>> I'm going to have to do it. I have to do
1:24:22it so I can get a viewer.
1:24:23>> Oh my gosh, that's so nice of you. I've
1:24:26been struggling a bit with buying
1:24:27organic because of the upcharge, but now
1:24:29I can eat healthy. My doctor says I
1:24:32should lay off the processed foods, you
1:24:33know.
1:24:34>> That's fake. Processed foods are good
1:24:36for you.
1:24:37>> And of course to incorporate less sugar
1:24:39in my diet. It's such a struggle having
1:24:41to manage that when I love snacking so
1:24:43much, you know, and this [laughter] job
1:24:45will do that to you.
1:24:47>> Bro, my chat is falling asleep. Please
1:24:50stop your yapping.
1:24:51>> True.
1:24:51>> Oh. Uh, okay. I'll just meet you up
1:24:54there when I'm ready. Yeah, you little
1:24:56loser. You little [ __ ] But you don't
1:24:59pay. Okay. Okay.
1:25:03>> The birds. Do you work for them?
1:25:06>> Do you work for the birds?
1:25:07>> Bro, are you tweaking? Do you need any
1:25:09groceries? I'm buying them for everyone
1:25:10here.
1:25:11>> There's no way he needs a lot of food,
1:25:12right?
1:25:14>> I need two. Two only. I need them to
1:25:17hide myself. The birds see me on the
1:25:19cameras. You'll buy it for me. Good.
1:25:22I'll meet you there.
1:25:23>> There's no way he needs a lot of food,
1:25:24right? Oh, wait. I offered to buy fatty
1:25:26food.
1:25:26>> Yes, sir.
1:25:28>> Who offered to buy your groceries?
1:25:30>> Yo, Winter Soldier. I'm buying
1:25:31everyone's groceries in the store today.
1:25:32Meet me up front later and I got you.
1:25:34>> Damn.
1:25:35>> That's terrific. God bless you, citizen.
1:25:37>> Damn. Okay, wrap it up, little bro. Pay
1:25:40for their stuff. Okay, I'm going to pay
1:25:42for it right now.
1:25:43>> You want to see a video of my meat?
1:25:47>> I didn't.
1:25:49>> Excuse me. That is so inappropriate,
1:25:52young man. Ah, so true.
1:25:54>> No, bro. I cooked a steak earlier on
1:25:56stream. You want to watch the VOD?
1:25:58>> What?
1:25:58>> I don't think so. Please go away.
1:26:01>> But I thought I had to pay for this. Uh,
1:26:04talk to a food up cashier.
1:26:05>> If you're not going to buy anything,
1:26:07>> okay, it's apparently not her. All
1:26:09right, let me look around. Oh, it's the
1:26:12other way around. I see. What's up,
1:26:15[ __ ]
1:26:16>> Hello. How are you today? Hope you're
1:26:18having a great day shopping at FoodHub,
1:26:20your neighborhood source for all the
1:26:22best ingredients.
1:26:24>> Yes.
1:26:25>> Yo, can I make an announcement on the
1:26:26intercom? I'mma pay for everyone's
1:26:28groceries today.
1:26:29>> Damn, bro. Ball out. Oh, that's so nice
1:26:33of you. You got it.
1:26:36Prank everyone and say you're not
1:26:38paying.
1:26:44Should I just do it?
1:26:48I might just do it, bro. I'm I'mma hit
1:26:50it.
1:26:53>> Hey, can everyone come to the front so I
1:26:55can pay for
1:26:55>> Come on, guys. BBLs,
1:26:58get [ __ ] I ain't paying for your
1:27:00[ __ ] Get baited, losers.
1:27:01>> [ __ ] based.
1:27:03All right. How many viewers did I get
1:27:05for that?
1:27:07>> Chat, gay daughter or thought?
1:27:10>> Wait, four.
1:27:12>> Oh, wow. I got four viewers. Brenley,
1:27:15please report to the main office.
1:27:16>> Wait, wait, what?
1:27:17>> Would Kaden Brenley please report to the
1:27:20main offices? Thank you so much and
1:27:22happy shopping.
1:27:25>> Wait, I I locked me in. Wait, what?
1:27:28What? What did I do wrong?
1:27:34What did I do? I didn't do I didn't do
1:27:35anything.
1:27:36>> Yeah, really coming together around
1:27:38here. Hello. Hope you're having a great
1:27:41day. Seems you've been stirring up quite
1:27:43a storm out there. I'm
1:27:45>> just mock I'm going to mock this little
1:27:46[ __ ] nerd goon cave or something.
1:27:48Don't lie. You rub one out in here once
1:27:50a day.
1:27:50>> Shut up, [ __ ] Shut up, [ __ ]
1:27:52>> Know that's highly inappropriate. That's
1:27:53right.
1:27:54>> We here at Food Hub maintain the highest
1:27:56standard of quality for all our
1:27:57customers.
1:27:58>> I'm going mock him again. I'm going to
1:27:59joke up on him again.
1:28:00>> Shut up, bro. You sound like a [ __ ]
1:28:02nut.
1:28:02>> Yeah,
1:28:03>> I apologize. Please feel free to leave
1:28:06us a review. But for now, I encourage
1:28:09you to listen to what I have to say.
1:28:12What was he going to say?
1:28:13>> What? Am I in trouble or something? Oh,
1:28:16>> absolutely not. We've been watching you
1:28:19carefully since you entered our store.
1:28:21And I think we'd both highly benefit
1:28:23from a temporary partnership.
1:28:24>> Wait, so I just I just scammed everybody
1:28:27and now they want to partner with me.
1:28:30>> How would you help me? If you've been
1:28:32watching me, you know I'm a content god,
1:28:34bro. I don't need any help.
1:28:35>> True.
1:28:36>> Have you spoken to Martin recently? our
1:28:39little neighbor over at Maplewood
1:28:40Market.
1:28:41>> Who that is? Who that is?
1:28:43>> No, but get to the point, bro. I'm
1:28:45losing viewers talking to you.
1:28:46>> True.
1:28:47>> You see, our partners have been hoping
1:28:49to expand this lot into a mall for a
1:28:52while now.
1:28:53>> And the owner of our neighbor grocery
1:28:55store, Maplewood [music] Market, he's
1:28:57bitterly stubborn.
1:28:59>> You want me to kill him?
1:29:00>> Okay.
1:29:02>> I'll kill him. I need
1:29:03>> If you help us, we can help you. We have
1:29:06a rather large advertising budget. We
1:29:08could promote your channel both locally
1:29:10and nationally. The benefits would be
1:29:12instant.
1:29:12>> I'm immediately gonna go with this guy.
1:29:14Uh, absolutely.
1:29:15>> What do you want me to do?
1:29:15>> What do you want me to do? I have to
1:29:16kill him.
1:29:17>> Oh, it's really quite simple. Maplewood
1:29:20Market seems to already be such an
1:29:22unsafe shopping environment. Their pipes
1:29:25burst just two weeks ago.
1:29:26>> Sabotage the store and cause a person to
1:29:28get killed.
1:29:29>> Bro, I don't know what the [ __ ] your
1:29:30normie corny ass yapping means. Stop
1:29:33talking like an NPC.
1:29:35It would just be so unfortunate if
1:29:37someone slipped and fell over there. You
1:29:40know, we love our neighbors at Maplewood
1:29:42Market and we would hate to see them
1:29:43sued. Oh no. But I bet there'd be a lot
1:29:46of viewers in it for you if something so
1:29:49awful happened over there and you
1:29:51streamed it. And don't forget the
1:29:53support we'd give you. I'm absolutely
1:29:55going to stage a [ __ ] false flag and
1:29:57get the store shut down and defraud all
1:30:00these people 100%. And and I get money.
1:30:04I would have done this for free.
1:30:06>> Hey, [ __ ] it, dude. Content is content.
1:30:09I'm in.
1:30:09>> That's right.
1:30:11>> Terrific. You made the right choice.
1:30:13Your career is going to thank you for
1:30:15this.
1:30:15>> I know. I know it will. Sabotage Maple
1:30:18Market. Okay, let's go.
1:30:22It's time to ruin lives.
1:30:26Look at these gay boys over here. Look
1:30:28at these losers. We got to deal with
1:30:31them.
1:30:33Barbecue grill burgers.
1:30:36What's this?
1:30:37>> Yo, chat, I got a confession to make.
1:30:40I'm a [ __ ] content god.
1:30:42>> True.
1:30:43>> Yo, bro, you look like a streamer I
1:30:45know. On a completely unrelated note,
1:30:47you want to play a game of would you
1:30:49rather?
1:30:49>> Would you rather?
1:30:50>> Sure, why not?
1:30:52>> Okay, go ahead. Ask me one.
1:30:54>> What? Aren't you supposed to ask me the
1:30:56questions?
1:30:57>> Wait, this must be queso.
1:30:58>> No, bro. I'm the streamer. Go ahead. I'm
1:31:00going to lock in. Okay, let me think.
1:31:02Hey, Sumer.
1:31:02>> Uh, bone in or boneless?
1:31:05>> Boneless.
1:31:06>> Boneless, bro. Chicken tendies are peak.
1:31:09>> Yeah, true.
1:31:09>> What? Okay. Um, sweet potato fries or
1:31:13French fries?
1:31:14>> Uh, French fries.
1:31:16>> Regular fries, bro. Anyone who says
1:31:18sweet potato is capping. [ __ ] nast.
1:31:21>> That's gross, bro. I don't want that.
1:31:22>> Lose your eyesight or lose your hearing.
1:31:24>> Lose your hearing.
1:31:25>> Lose my hearing, bro. Anything worth
1:31:27hearing is coming out of my mouth
1:31:29anyway. [ __ ] beast. Yes.
1:31:32>> Love but poor or rich but no one likes
1:31:35you.
1:31:35>> Well, I'll just go with what we already
1:31:37have.
1:31:38>> Rich and no one likes me. I'll just be
1:31:40the next Elon.
1:31:47>> Man.
1:31:50Man.
1:31:52>> Okay. Last one. Kill yourself to save
1:31:55the world or kill the world to save
1:31:57yourself. I will kill the whole world.
1:32:00>> Save myself. Duh. If I died, my subathon
1:32:03would end.
1:32:03>> Yeah, bro. Like, that would [ __ ] up the
1:32:04stream.
1:32:05>> Great. Can I go back to eating now?
1:32:08>> Yeah, that was it. Yeah, based
1:32:12uh eat that burger. There it is. Oh,
1:32:13good. 13.
1:32:15>> No cutting in line. I'm about to order.
1:32:18>> Question or I'm not tell I'm Shut shut
1:32:20your old ass up,
1:32:21>> bro. You taking longer than GTA to come
1:32:23out. Wrap it up. Domer.
1:32:25>> Be patient. I'm having a hard time
1:32:27reading the menu.
1:32:29>> Mocka,
1:32:29>> are you blind or something? Wait, I
1:32:31can't say that on stream anymore.
1:32:33>> Oh, no.
1:32:33>> Actually, I'm legally blind.
1:32:35>> Waiting for 30 minutes.
1:32:36>> I'm going to question him.
1:32:37>> Legally, so I can't get banned for
1:32:39talking to you, right? I'm on thin ice
1:32:41with staff recently.
1:32:42>> Uh-oh.
1:32:43>> I don't know. Anyway, can you help me
1:32:46read the menu?
1:32:46>> Yeah, I'm going to help him. I'm going
1:32:47help him.
1:32:47>> All right, fine. What do you feel like
1:32:49eating?
1:32:51>> Maybe a burger.
1:32:53>> No way.
1:32:55>> Okay, sure. That sounds good. Is that
1:32:57what you want?
1:32:59>> Maybe not. It might upset my stomach.
1:33:02>> Continue.
1:33:03>> What else then? They also got fries
1:33:05here. You want that?
1:33:07>> We won't.
1:33:08>> Maybe. Maybe. Do they have cheeseburgers
1:33:10here?
1:33:10>> Yeah.
1:33:11>> Okay. So, you do want a burger? Which
1:33:14one, bro? Hurry up.
1:33:16>> Maybe just a coffee. Do they have coffee
1:33:19here?
1:33:19>> Uh, maybe.
1:33:20>> Dude, yes. Is that what you want? You're
1:33:22making me lose viewers, man.
1:33:24>> Dude. Dude, come on.
1:33:26>> I'll ponder it. Thank you for helping me
1:33:28out, young man. You can go in front of
1:33:30me if you want.
1:33:30>> Okay, that's good. Great.
1:33:32>> Yo, Twinch Popo better not be watching
1:33:34me right now.
1:33:41>> Yo, this must be the big boss man.
1:33:43>> I just I just started hitting buttons,
1:33:46bro. [laughter]
1:33:49Bro, I had to be an IRL streamer. That's
1:33:51what they want me to do.
1:33:52>> Hey, what are you doing? You can't be
1:33:54back here.
1:33:55>> I tell him I'm I work here. I'll work
1:33:57here now.
1:33:57>> Uh I'm here for my first day.
1:33:59>> Yeah, it's my first day.
1:34:00>> Ah, okay. You must be the new hire that
1:34:02Jeremy interviewed. What's your name so
1:34:04we can print out a name tag for you?
1:34:06>> Buck.
1:34:07>> I'm Buck.
1:34:09>> Okay. And last name.
1:34:11>> Neaked.
1:34:14>> Buck neck.
1:34:15>> Okay. Welcome aboard. Uh Buck Neaked.
1:34:19Wait.
1:34:20>> Yeah. Don't worry about my name. What
1:34:22matters is that I'm so excited to start
1:34:25working.
1:34:26>> Oh, okay. That's terrific. I missed your
1:34:29initial interview. So, you can tell me a
1:34:31little bit about yourself.
1:34:32>> I'm a streamer. I've got to tell him I'm
1:34:34a streamer.
1:34:34>> I got experience cooking fire clips and
1:34:37brain rock content, Brad.
1:34:40>> That's impressive. We'll have you
1:34:42cooking soon. For now though, just head
1:34:45on up to the front desk and help take
1:34:46orders from customers.
1:34:48>> Okay.
1:34:49>> My favorite color.
1:34:50>> What's up, fat? Yo, welcome to Red Girl
1:34:52Burgers.
1:34:53>> What's up, fat [ __ ]
1:34:54>> You only got one girl right now, though.
1:34:55What do you want?
1:34:58>> Do you work here? Where's your uniform?
1:35:02>> What?
1:35:03>> Oh, he must have had to walk.
1:35:05>> Yeah, dude. I just got hired. I'm doing
1:35:07[music] a challenge where I spend the
1:35:08whole day as a wage cook.
1:35:09>> A wage cook?
1:35:12>> Okay. Are these donuts for sale?
1:35:15>> Yes.
1:35:16>> Well, gave it away, bro.
1:35:19>> I don't know. What kind of service?
1:35:21>> I'm trying to lose weight, but I just
1:35:24got done with my 30 minute walk, so I
1:35:27feel like I deserve one.
1:35:29>> I think you deserve three. I'm going to
1:35:31give them for you for free.
1:35:33>> Yeah, dude. Have one. In fact, you
1:35:35should have three. You really worked
1:35:37hard today. You deserve a reward.
1:35:51Hello. What kind of service is this?
1:36:01>> I don't know what to say. I really
1:36:04don't.
1:36:07>> Where is the man?
1:36:09>> Wow. You didn't know? I I I swear to God
1:36:12I didn't know. I I I promise you like I
1:36:15I'm being completely honest 100%.
1:36:20I have not watched anyone play this
1:36:22game. I saw there was like one clip
1:36:25>> of like I think it was like IU reacting
1:36:27to a thing where it was like Miz on the
1:36:28game. I didn't even watch it. I just saw
1:36:31the [ __ ] headline. That was it.
1:36:34I have never played this game. I didn't
1:36:38know anything about this game.
1:36:41>> I swear to God. I was not a dev. I was
1:36:44not questioned. I had no idea about it.
1:36:46I didn't know what was going to be in
1:36:47the dialogue. I had no no clue
1:36:48whatsoever.
1:36:51>> Cuz I feel like at this point it's
1:36:52weird. Like that's actually weird.
1:36:56God damn.
1:37:00>> That's That's weird, bro. Like
1:37:02>> can you give me a
1:37:05I
1:37:05>> That's crazy.
1:37:08>> Okay. Um let me talk to this loser. Yo,
1:37:11welcome to Red Grilled Burgers. What you
1:37:13want?
1:37:13>> What you want, [ __ ]
1:37:14>> Can I have a double cheeseburger, a
1:37:17large fries, a 20 piece nuggets, and
1:37:20>> I'm not interrupting.
1:37:21>> Hold on. Slow down. You're going too
1:37:23fast. You wanted a
1:37:24>> a cheeseburger.
1:37:25>> Cheeseburger.
1:37:27>> No, no. I wanted a double cheeseburger.
1:37:29Hurry, I'm hungry.
1:37:31>> Mocker.
1:37:32>> Ooh, a double. She's a big girl, isn't
1:37:35she?
1:37:35>> Get a fat [ __ ] That's right.
1:37:37>> How rude. It's not for me. I'm also
1:37:40ordering for my children. I want to talk
1:37:42to the manager.
1:37:43>> I am the manager.
1:37:44>> That would be me. I'm the manager. Is
1:37:47there a problem?
1:37:48>> That's right.
1:37:49>> You are. And this is how you run your
1:37:51establishment.
1:37:52>> You should be ashamed. I'm leaving you a
1:37:54one-star review.
1:37:56>> I don't give a [ __ ]
1:37:58>> You should leave several. In fact, you
1:38:00should tell your friends to leave
1:38:01reviews, too, since we're so bad.
1:38:03>> That's right.
1:38:04>> This is ridiculous. I'm starving and I
1:38:06don't have time for this. I'm waiting
1:38:08for someone else to take my order.
1:38:09>> What a stupid [ __ ]
1:38:11>> Let me go. All right, I'm gonna take
1:38:13this guy's food.
1:38:14>> Oh, wait. Oh, no. That's not it. Okay.
1:38:16All right. Let me get the [ __ ] out of
1:38:17here.
1:38:18>> Where is the manager?
1:38:20>> Oh, who's this other fat?
1:38:23[snorts]
1:38:25>> I'm I'm going to make fun of him. Fat.
1:38:27>> Big dog. You waiting for someone or are
1:38:29you just really eating that all alone?
1:38:31Lowkey sad, bro.
1:38:32>> Three burgers on the table. Three
1:38:35burgers. What's your problem, kid? I'm
1:38:38just trying to eat.
1:38:40>> Yo, bro, you look like an expert. My
1:38:43chat always burger chain and [ __ ]
1:38:46Thoughts?
1:38:47>> Huh? What?
1:38:49>> What?
1:38:50>> Bro, am I muted or some [ __ ] I asked
1:38:52what the best burger [music] chain is.
1:38:53>> It's Burger King.
1:38:54>> Burger King.
1:38:54>> Um, what do you think is the best?
1:38:57>> Oh. Oh. Uh, uh, Five Fries. Five fries.
1:39:01Burger Queen. No. No. It's definitely
1:39:03not water burger. I'll tell you that.
1:39:05Give me I have to get pissed. Five no
1:39:07five guys bash burger. Honestly, reading
1:39:10that I might have to go there tonight.
1:39:40All right, I'm back.
1:39:46Okay,
1:39:48five fries.
1:39:49>> Five fries is the goat, bro. I want all
1:39:51five to run a train on me on God.
1:39:54>> Damn. Damn. Let him know.
1:39:57[laughter]
1:40:00Are you serious?
1:40:04Yeah. Yeah.
1:40:06>> [ __ ] you laughing at, [ __ ] I'm right,
1:40:08chat. This guy's a [ __ ] Don't listen
1:40:10to him.
1:40:12>> Just a second.
1:40:26Okay. All right. We can stop that. Oh,
1:40:28wait. Fat Fatty don't want to talk to me
1:40:30anymore. [ __ ] him. [ __ ] [ __ ] We got
1:40:32Why aren't you guys subbing?
1:40:33>> Get him out of here. Get him out of
1:40:34here. I can't break this. I I got too
1:40:37high of a purple bar. What's behind
1:40:39here? Who's this?
1:40:42>> Huh? Bad sid, huh? You got any money,
1:40:45man?
1:40:46>> Uh, yeah. I'm going to give money.
1:40:48>> H only if you spend it on drugs and
1:40:50lottery tickets.
1:40:51>> That's right. Don't forget Don't forget
1:40:54alcohol.
1:40:56>> Yeah, you got it, man. I'll buy some
1:40:58snooze. Give me money.
1:41:04Okay. All right. Uh, ask about snooze.
1:41:07Okay. I'm going ask it.
1:41:08>> What's snooze, bro? Some vape flavor. Uh
1:41:11>> oh. You wouldn't understand, man.
1:41:14>> You're in the game. What the [ __ ] Shut
1:41:15up. You want to
1:41:17>> I'm smart, bro. Try me.
1:41:19>> He's smart.
1:41:26True.
1:41:27>> Oh yeah, bro. Yaba daba do for real.
1:41:30Yeah. Yeah. No doubt. For sure. Save
1:41:34gate. Oh, be safe.
1:41:37Oh,
1:41:39there it is. Probably Swedish after
1:41:42snooze. I don't know what the hell that
1:41:43is. And we can live in a garbage can.
1:41:46I'm not going to live in a garbage can.
1:41:48All right. Now, let me [ __ ] let me [ __ ]
1:41:50this entire place up. I'm going to [ __ ]
1:41:52everything up. Who's old ball?
1:41:55>> Hi, welcome in. It feels like a great
1:41:57day today. I really hope it continues
1:42:00going that way.
1:42:02>> Okay.
1:42:05Okay.
1:42:07Can I fall? Where do I fall over? Oh my
1:42:09god. It's right over here.
1:42:12It's over here. It's over here.
1:42:15>> Martin will prevent any sabotage. Get
1:42:17rid of him first.
1:42:18>> Okay.
1:42:21I got to get rid of him.
1:42:24>> Hello. Hope you're having a great day.
1:42:27Tell him there's a homeless guy in his
1:42:28alley.
1:42:29>> Did you know there's a homeless guy in
1:42:31your back alley
1:42:32>> and not in the gay way?
1:42:34>> Oh.
1:42:35>> Oh, that's just Sebastian. You and I are
1:42:38friends. I am a face of snooze
1:42:40occasionally and he scares away the kids
1:42:43that vandalize my building.
1:42:45>> Ooh.
1:42:46>> Okay, let me try another one.
1:42:47>> Hello. Hope you're having a great day.
1:42:50>> Your car is getting stolen.
1:42:52>> Someone outside's trying to steal your
1:42:53whip, I think. I think it might be one
1:42:55of those food hub guys. Uh-oh.
1:42:56>> What? Those food hub bass are wait. I
1:43:00didn't drive to work. [laughter]
1:43:03>> Very funny. You got me good.
1:43:06>> What a nice guy.
1:43:07>> Hello. Hope you're having a great day.
1:43:09>> Tell him his wife got in an His kids got
1:43:11an accident.
1:43:12>> I think I just saw your kids get into an
1:43:13accident. They fell off their bikes at
1:43:15the bottom of the hill.
1:43:16>> Uh-huh. Yeah. [laughter]
1:43:19>> Very funny. My children are in their 20s
1:43:22and off in college. Almost got me
1:43:25though.
1:43:26>> I assumed he was divorced. There's no
1:43:28way that was the right answer, right?
1:43:29>> Oh my god. There was an accident near my
1:43:31house. There was a woman being taken to
1:43:32the hospital and she kept screaming,
1:43:34"Please call my husband Martin at
1:43:36Maplewood."
1:43:37>> Oh no.
1:43:38>> What? No. Oh my god. Is she okay?
1:43:41>> Uh, nope.
1:43:44Actually, yes. Yes, she's uh No.
1:43:47>> No, man. She's not okay. Trust me. You
1:43:49need to go to the hospital and see her.
1:43:50She might not make it.
1:43:51>> Damn.
1:43:52>> Oh my god. I wasn't there for her
1:43:54because I was running THIS DAMN STORE. I
1:43:56can't lose her. I have to go. I need to
1:43:58see her.
1:43:59>> Okay. All right. Let's go.
1:44:01>> I think I need new mods.
1:44:04>> Yeah. True, true. Okay. Now, I'mma [ __ ]
1:44:07up his store.
1:44:09Now, it's time for me to [ __ ] up his
1:44:10store right now. Let's go.
1:44:18[screaming]
1:44:20MY MY BACK.
1:44:22>> OH.
1:44:23You You are not fit to run a store.
1:44:26>> Oh no.
1:44:28>> I'm going to sue the heck out of you.
1:44:30>> Oh no. Uhoh.
1:44:32>> I did it. Morsel Rivals has been
1:44:37>> chat. Is this bad content?
1:44:38>> I got eight. I got eight six viewers.
1:44:40Oh, it's huge. Okay, now let me go back.
1:44:44I'm going to go talk to him now.
1:44:46Okay,
1:44:48here we go.
1:44:50Consequences will never be the same.
1:44:52True.
1:44:54That's an old one.
1:44:57Who's this guy?
1:44:58>> Hey man, your stream looking dead. You
1:45:00need viewbot cheap? I sell
1:45:04>> question. What?
1:45:06>> Viewbots? I don't know, man. Isn't that
1:45:08a little sketchy?
1:45:08>> Uhoh.
1:45:10>> Who care? Everyone use. I run big Vbot
1:45:13farm in Vietnam. I sell for Raan,
1:45:15Litkus, Nion. They frequent customer.
1:45:20>> [laughter]
1:45:22>> I'mma buy it. I'mma buy I'mma buy
1:45:24Viewball right now.
1:45:25>> Hey, [ __ ] it, dude. I need to speed this
1:45:27[ __ ] up. I
1:45:29>> I'mma I'mma buy Ooh, but then I get more
1:45:32notoriety. I can't do that. I can't do
1:45:36that. Never mind.
1:45:39[ __ ]
1:45:41Cuz I I'm already almost capped out.
1:45:43>> Yeah. Really? Come. Hello again. We
1:45:47heard about what happened over at
1:45:48Maplewood.
1:45:50>> Such a shame about what happened to that
1:45:52poor lady. We're just glad such an
1:45:54unsafe establishment is closing for
1:45:56good.
1:45:57>> And of course, since you helped us, I've
1:46:00just advertised your stream on our
1:46:02social media.
1:46:03>> Damn. We hope you [music] enjoy the new
1:46:04viewership.
1:46:06>> Damn, bro.
1:46:07>> Hello again, friend.
1:46:09>> I I ruined that dude's entire life for
1:46:11eight viewers.
1:46:13I feel like that's a good idea, though,
1:46:14right? Hope you're having a great day
1:46:16shopping at Food Up today.
1:46:18>> Okay, now I need I need seven more
1:46:21viewers.
1:46:22>> Chat, am I alpha?
1:46:23>> I need seven more viewers, gentlemen.
1:46:26Um, can I get viewers? No, I can't get
1:46:28views viewers in there. Okay, I need to
1:46:31think. I need to think.
1:46:34I could I could kick the expensive car.
1:46:37You sold out. I know.
1:46:40Interact with objects.
1:46:43Should I
1:46:45I'm going to hit the expensive car.
1:46:51>> What the [ __ ] I got banned. [ __ ] ass
1:46:54staff.
1:47:00Oops.
1:47:03[laughter] Oops. Uh-oh. You took it a
1:47:05little bit too far with the edgginess
1:47:06and you caught a ban. Your time offline
1:47:09costed you viewership.
1:47:12[ __ ]
1:47:14[ __ ] man.
1:47:17[ __ ] Now you can buy the viewbots
1:47:19almost. Yeah.
1:47:22>> Yo, what's good, Mr. Connor?
1:47:23>> I still cannot.
1:47:24>> Okay, I did this. All right, I need to
1:47:26figure out Okay, I talked to him.
1:47:29I talked to her.
1:47:31>> That stupid streamer's doing
1:47:32>> anyone want mod?
1:47:34>> Move it along, kid.
1:47:36>> Damn, bro. Crime scene.
1:47:37>> Who do I talk to? Who I talk to? I got
1:47:39to figure it out.
1:47:42Maybe I'll talk to whoever this is. Do
1:47:45you seen enough? Oh. Oh, wait. That's
1:47:46right. I I know what house that is.
1:47:48Okay, let's go over here.
1:47:52>> Hello.
1:47:52>> Hello.
1:47:53>> Knock knock.
1:47:55>> Who's there?
1:47:56>> Your
1:47:56>> your
1:47:57>> You're who?
1:47:58>> Uh, your dog is dead. I accidentally hit
1:48:00him with my car. Sorry, bro.
1:48:03>> What? How did you run him over? What the
1:48:06[ __ ]
1:48:12Okay. All right, that worked.
1:48:16Wait, what's this? What's this? Whoa,
1:48:18wait. Hold.
1:48:18>> Got to get some coffee.
1:48:20>> Okay. Okay. No. No. I can't do that.
1:48:23All right. Let me think what else I can
1:48:25do.
1:48:26Boom.
1:48:28Wait. So, I just kick people's [ __ ]
1:48:30around. I get more viewers.
1:48:32Oh, this is huge.
1:48:35Oh, this is great.
1:48:3989
1:48:42chat.
1:48:42>> Who's Wait, who's this guy?
1:48:46>> Huh? Dude, that drone is so cool, man. I
1:48:50want to fly, too. And [ __ ]
1:48:52>> [ __ ]
1:48:54>> Hey, what you guys doing?
1:48:55>> What we doing?
1:48:56>> Quick smoke s. Dude, you buying or not?
1:48:58>> Ask for a hit.
1:48:59>> Can I just get a hit, bro? I want to
1:49:02make sure I'm buying that good [ __ ]
1:49:03>> Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I only sell good [ __ ]
1:49:05but you're going to have to chief on
1:49:07this.
1:49:07>> Okay. Uh, what do you mean?
1:49:08>> What's that mean, bro?
1:49:10>> I can tell you've never smoked that
1:49:12green before.
1:49:13>> Say you have. I'm going to lie. I'm
1:49:14going to lie.
1:49:15>> Bro, of course I've smoked before. I
1:49:17ain't a virgin. Trust me.
1:49:19>> Damn.
1:49:21>> Sure, bro. Take a hit then, big guy.
1:49:24>> Okay. Smoke the joint.
1:49:26>> All right, chat. This one's for you.
1:49:28>> Ooh. Ooh. Inhale. I'm going to inhale.
1:49:32Oh god.
1:49:33>> Damn.
1:49:34>> Oh [ __ ] He hit it, dude. That wasn't
1:49:38even weed.
1:49:39>> Wait, what?
1:49:39>> What the [ __ ] dude? Did you lace that
1:49:42[ __ ]
1:49:43>> I'm going to [ __ ] die.
1:49:44>> Was it Fent?
1:49:45>> Yeah.
1:49:45>> Oh god. If I die, give my stream to my
1:49:48friend Gerard.
1:49:49>> Uh-oh. [laughter]
1:49:50>> No, dude. It was just some shitty shake
1:49:53mixed with some oregano.
1:49:55>> Go with it. I'm going to go with it.
1:49:56>> Yo [ __ ] Okay, I feel it. That was some
1:49:59good [ __ ]
1:50:00>> All right, bro. Hit me with the oregano.
1:50:02>> You a funny little dude. We were going
1:50:04to graffiti Maplewood Market, but we
1:50:06just want to chill now. Since you were
1:50:07cool, you can have this spray paint,
1:50:09though.
1:50:09>> Wait, I can start vandalizing,
1:50:11>> bro. Thanks. This whole town going to
1:50:12know my name.
1:50:14>> Give you viewers. Give you a notoriety
1:50:15cost. Okay,
1:50:16>> drain.
1:50:17>> All right, bro. I'm I'm going to tag
1:50:19their [ __ ] up. Let's go.
1:50:22It says T, right? Tag.
1:50:26Okay.
1:50:27>> Yo, any Twin staff in chat right now?
1:50:29Damn.
1:50:31Damn. Let him know.
1:50:36Okay, I do one more.
1:50:41Oh no, I got to do another one.
1:50:46I'm a 95.
1:50:48I'm a 95. I'm at 95 viewers.
1:50:53But if I buy it, then I get I get 20 no.
1:50:56Oh no. tag a car
1:51:01cuz if if I
1:51:02>> should I save the VOD?
1:51:04>> I feel like I just do it. What if I
1:51:06bought myself right now? It'll give me a
1:51:0720.
1:51:09>> I'mma hit it right now. I'mma hit it.
1:51:10I'm going to do it. I see what happens.
1:51:12>> Hey, man. You need view.
1:51:13>> Let's do it. Let's do it. [ __ ] it, bro.
1:51:15[ __ ] it.
1:51:16>> Hell yeah. Good choice, man.
1:51:18>> I hit 100 viewers. Yep. There it is.
1:51:23>> Too much attention, man. About to catch
1:51:25Ben. I can't help you anymore.
1:51:27>> Okay,
1:51:28>> bro. No shot. I got banned.
1:51:29>> It doesn't matter because I already
1:51:31achieved it
1:51:31>> on me, man.
1:51:32>> Yeah, I already achieved it. See, I knew
1:51:35it was the right call.
1:51:36>> You got suspended. I don't give a [ __ ]
1:51:39I do not give a [ __ ] I did that on
1:51:40purpose. I knew that would work. I knew
1:51:43that [ __ ] would work. I'm going to talk
1:51:45to my boy.
1:51:48>> What's up, dude? You still a dead
1:51:49streamer or have you climbed out of
1:51:50iron? You got to break at least a hundo
1:51:52if we're going to get any [ __ ] at Twin
1:51:53Car.
1:51:53>> Oh, we hit it.
1:51:54>> Yeah, bro. Check out my stream stats.
1:51:56Broke a hundred just like I said I
1:51:58would.
1:51:58>> That's right. That's right.
1:51:59>> HOLY [ __ ] LET'S [ __ ] GO. AFTER
1:52:02TWITCHCON, you should move to Austin and
1:52:04join all the other 100 viewer Andesies.
1:52:05Anyway, ready to go?
1:52:06>> Oh my god.
1:52:10Oh my god. Okay. All right. Let's get
1:52:12it. All right. CringeC. Yeah. Let me do
1:52:14it. It's time.
1:52:17>> Let's do it, bro. I'm all out of content
1:52:19here. Time to network in the big
1:52:21leagues.
1:52:21>> Big leagues. The big time. Let's go.
1:52:24I'm going to TwitchCon. He was a
1:52:26streamer boy.
1:52:28>> Dude, my stream is effing. There's no
1:52:30[ __ ] service down here.
1:52:31>> Oh no.
1:52:32>> Sorry, dude. Couldn't find any spots
1:52:34closer to the elevator.
1:52:35>> Oh no.
1:52:36>> I told you, bro. You should have just
1:52:37dropped me off. [ __ ] We need to get
1:52:39out. I'm losing viewers.
1:52:40>> He's losing. Dude,
1:52:41>> your view count's taking out L right
1:52:43now. Dude,
1:52:44>> I know where it is.
1:52:45>> Okay, let's go. We got to go quick.
1:52:47Quick. Let's go, bro. Let's go. Let's
1:52:50go. We're good. We're good.
1:52:53This is fine. This is fine.
1:52:55Follow Gerard out the garage.
1:52:58>> Where's that? All we go this way. Yeah.
1:53:00Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There it is.
1:53:03There it is.
1:53:03>> It's up here.
1:53:04>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
1:53:06We're balling out. Let's go.
1:53:10Oh god. I almost got hit by that car.
1:53:14I'm going fast.
1:53:16This shit's This shit's wa What the
1:53:20is a left? No, it's a left. We got to go
1:53:21that way. All right. Wait. Uh, where we
1:53:24go? I go with I'm going with you, bro.
1:53:26I'm going with him. I'm losing all my
1:53:29viewers. Everybody's leaving.
1:53:30Everybody's leaving my stream. They're
1:53:32leaving my stream. I have to go faster.
1:53:35Quick.
1:53:38I got I got Okay, I got elevator.
1:53:40Elevator. Get inside of here. Follow.
1:53:44Get in. I'mma leave. I'mma leave.
1:53:48Stream reconnecting.
1:53:53Damn, that [ __ ] crashed out hard.
1:53:54>> Sorry about that, dude. Did you lose
1:53:56many viewers?
1:53:57>> Yes.
1:53:57>> I don't want to talk about it, bro. I'm
1:53:59a [ __ ] dead streamer again.
1:54:01>> Oh my god.
1:54:02>> Nah, we had TwingCon, bro. This is the
1:54:05place to network. Those views you had
1:54:06were amateur numbers compared to what
1:54:08you'll get here. Trust me, bro.
1:54:10>> Damn.
1:54:10>> Nah, you spitting facts for real,
1:54:12though. There's going to be so much [ __ ]
1:54:13here for me to farm. I was tripping.
1:54:15>> True, bro.
1:54:16>> Yeah, you're right.
1:54:16>> True, bro.
1:54:17>> Goat.
1:54:18>> Yeah,
1:54:18>> that's some nonchalant dreadhead. energy
1:54:20right there, dude. That's right. All
1:54:21right, enough yapping. Let's get in
1:54:23there.
1:54:23>> That's right. [ __ ] yeah. Okay, let's go.
1:54:28>> Oh, I got to go in the line.
1:54:29>> Going to the top of Shredded.
1:54:31>> [ __ ] this. [ __ ] this.
1:54:34>> What up? Here from my entry badge.
1:54:36Name's Kaden Brenley.
1:54:37>> She doesn't have colored hair. This
1:54:39isn't a real Twitch staff.
1:54:40>> Did you just cut those people waiting
1:54:42before you? Back of the line. We'll call
1:54:44you up when it's your turn.
1:54:45>> I'm going to make up a lie. I'll just
1:54:46lie to this [ __ ]
1:54:47>> Listen, my dad works for Twing. He's the
1:54:49CEO. He wouldn't want me calling him up,
1:54:51would he? He wouldn't like
1:54:53>> Good one, kid. Back of the line.
1:54:55>> I need to get in there. I just lost like
1:54:57200 viewers trying to get through the
1:54:59garage.
1:55:00>> Absolutely not. Back of the line.
1:55:04>> Please, I need this. My mom is kind of
1:55:07homeless. I live with my dad. I want to
1:55:10help her out.
1:55:11>> What does this guy do with it?
1:55:14>> Why you trying not to laugh, bro? That's
1:55:16disrespectful as [ __ ] bro. Look at you
1:55:18smiling, bro.
1:55:20>> That's [ __ ] up.
1:55:21>> You disrespectful as [ __ ] bro. Why you
1:55:23laughing at me, bro?
1:55:24>> True, bro.
1:55:25>> Okay, fine. Here's your badge. You're
1:55:26free to go.
1:55:27>> So, he had to bully her in. Oh, that's a
1:55:29good idea. What about this [ __ ] What
1:55:31do you want?
1:55:32>> You've already got your badge. Please
1:55:35others, bro. The line empty.
1:55:37>> Yeah. Yeah, stupid [ __ ] content. God,
1:55:40>> that's true.
1:55:43Who's this loser? Harry crack.
1:55:47Oh, those are the viewers.
1:55:50[laughter]
1:55:52>> Hey man, I'm out here doing freestyle
1:55:54raps for people. Can I spit something
1:55:56for you?
1:55:57>> Ask if you can rap.
1:55:59>> Yo, bro, can I spit some bars with you?
1:56:01>> Yes.
1:56:02>> Uh, yeah, sure. Let's see what you got.
1:56:04>> I'm going to rap about [ __ ]
1:56:06>> Yeah, I got 20 [ __ ] in my DMs. Twing.
1:56:11They be saying, "G."
1:56:16Yeah, straight fire, bro. That's how you
1:56:18do it.
1:56:20>> Oh my god.
1:56:22>> Yeah. Nice, bro. That was certainly
1:56:24interesting, but it's my turn now.
1:56:27>> Give me some words and I'll freestyle
1:56:28straight off the dome.
1:56:30>> Digimon. Is this what I think it is?
1:56:32>> First word. Digimon.
1:56:35>> Isn't that two words?
1:56:36>> Digimon.
1:56:39>> Oh my god.
1:56:40>> Yes.
1:56:40>> Goon.
1:56:41>> I should expect the logarithmic.
1:56:44>> All right. Word. Goon. Got it. One more
1:56:47word.
1:56:48>> Famine tax.
1:56:51>> Famine tax.
1:56:53>> That's two words, but fine. All right,
1:56:56we got Digim goon and famine tax.
1:57:03I'm crack. Yeah, I'm getting paid like
1:57:06I'm Digi Mane with the cookies. And why
1:57:09they ain't [music] even buy them? I
1:57:10ain't even looking. I'm on zitter and I
1:57:12see some titties and I'm feeling bitter
1:57:15but I'mma have to goon for a second. All
1:57:18the different LWD pics and then [ __ ]
1:57:21Let me take a bite of [music] that quick
1:57:23famine text and then I relax any means
1:57:26possible. I'm about to go get fat.
1:57:28>> Oh my [ __ ] god. Glaze him.
1:57:32>> [ __ ] bro. That was [ __ ] fire. Harry
1:57:34cracked the goat on God.
1:57:36>> True.
1:57:36>> Hell yeah, bro.
1:57:38>> Hell yeah. [ __ ] based. Okay.
1:57:42>> Hello.
1:57:42>> Who's this?
1:57:43>> I am streaming. You are also a twin
1:57:45streamer.
1:57:46>> Yeah.
1:57:47>> Yeah, I am. Good job, bro.
1:57:49>> Wait, he only has 27 viewers. Why are we
1:57:52talking to him?
1:57:52>> It wasn't a question. I am here to
1:57:55network in hopes of taking a portion of
1:57:56your viewers for myself.
1:57:57>> I'm going to shoot him away. Get away
1:57:59from me.
1:57:59>> Get the [ __ ] out of here, bro. You're
1:58:00already taking my viewers.
1:58:02>> Get away.
1:58:02>> Allow me to use your network for my own.
1:58:04Now, in the future, I will allow you one
1:58:07stream with me once I have surpassed
1:58:08you. Do we have a deal? Refuse.
1:58:10>> I said [ __ ] off.
1:58:11>> [ __ ] off, bro. Quit leeching. Exactly.
1:58:14>> No loss. Only 1% of streamers actually
1:58:16achieve success. To find a sustainable
1:58:19six figure salary with trends of growth
1:58:21that outperform inflation.
1:58:22>> Uh-huh.
1:58:23>> Statistically, you would not be helpful.
1:58:25I will not waste my time anymore on such
1:58:27a small streamer. I must diversify my
1:58:29network.
1:58:30>> 27 viewers.
1:58:31>> Get the [ __ ] out of here.
1:58:33>> True.
1:58:33>> Chat, make sure to keep a tab open for
1:58:35me.
1:58:36>> They [singing] won't assault [music] me.
1:58:41Yes.
1:58:41>> Oh, it's TwitchCon.
1:58:42>> How we doing out there?
1:58:44>> Donate.
1:58:45>> Can I take their money?
1:58:47>> What a moving audience. [laughter]
1:58:51>> I got it. Okay. Um,
1:58:55give me one second. Gamble? I can
1:58:58gamble.
1:59:0530. I'm going to hit 30.
1:59:07Rotate [music]
1:59:12the beat.
1:59:13>> Yeah.
1:59:14>> Yes. Drop crooked tires.
1:59:22>> Oh, 17.
1:59:24>> Yes. I just got chased.
1:59:25>> I feel like honestly just stand like I
1:59:27I'm Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to just
1:59:29>> I don't know where we dropping.
1:59:31>> Never lucky.
1:59:36Oh, you're so bad.
1:59:37>> Okay, I got to get the money back now. I
1:59:38got to get my money back. I I got to get
1:59:40my money back right now.
1:59:44[music]
1:59:45>> Let me hit once.
1:59:47>> Hit me again.
1:59:59>> Yes, I just got a so Oh my god.
2:00:09Let's do it again. Do it again.
2:00:13>> I'm going to make my money back.
2:00:15>> I'm getting ready to make my money back.
2:00:23>> Bro, my teammates suck.
2:00:30Box, bro. Box.
2:00:33[music]
2:00:34Rotate the B.
2:00:45>> Do you need minions?
2:00:46>> Oh, you're so bad.
2:00:47>> I need to steal more money. I have to
2:00:49steal more money.
2:00:51>> I'm I'm out of all Whoa. Whoa. What's up
2:00:54with this?
2:00:55>> I'm trying to unlock Sierra. What do you
2:00:56want?
2:00:57>> Is it techone,
2:00:58>> bro? Is this a coober game? Why the [ __ ]
2:01:00are you playing it here?
2:01:01>> Uhoh.
2:01:02>> It's so much more than a coober game,
2:01:04dude. It's It's a turnbased strategy.
2:01:06>> Uhoh. Here it is.
2:01:07>> What's this game's name anyway? For uh
2:01:10research purposes.
2:01:11>> What's it called?
2:01:13>> I'm not telling you Sierra is mine. You
2:01:15won't take her from me.
2:01:17>> Damn.
2:01:18>> Literally one.
2:01:19>> Damn. Safe game.
2:01:22Ooh. Got to fall asleep now. I'm going
2:01:25to take a break.
2:01:28This game exceeded my expectations. This
2:01:30is a good game.
2:01:32>> Like this this a good game. I like this.
2:01:34This was fun. You guys have fun playing.
2:01:36I'm gonna play more of it tomorrow, I'm
2:01:38thinking. What do you guys think? We get
2:01:40more to it.
2:01:42Where we at?
2:01:46>> This is clever as [ __ ] man. [music]
2:01:50They really put it in. They made it
2:01:51happen. Actually, there is. Yeah, it's
2:01:53good. I didn't expect it to be this
2:01:54good. Yeah, I know. Like, uh, this would
2:01:56be [ __ ] funny. Best game you played
2:01:57in a long time.
2:01:58>> Not a fan of Crimson Desert, are you?
2:02:00>> And uh yeah, play the arcade game. I I
2:02:02get to I'm out of money. That's actually
2:02:05kind of bad. Like I I don't want to run
2:02:07out of money, but that's why New GTA.
2:02:09Yeah, it's the same thing as GTA. It's
2:02:11the exact same thing.
2:02:13>> Yeah. Some of the dialogue is peak.
2:02:16Yeah, it is. It's really funny. This
2:02:17actually a really funny game, bro. Like
2:02:19I liked it a lot.
2:02:20>> Play the arcade. I I will whenever I
2:02:22play it again. Crimson Desert was kind
2:02:24of was kind of boring, not going to lie.
2:02:27>> You think it was boring? [music] Uh
2:02:29>> yeah, you're probably right. Like I I I
2:02:31like the game a lot, but it's definitely
2:02:33like it drags. It It does drag like and
2:02:35we played it like honestly put it like
2:02:36what, seven [ __ ] days like some [ __ ]
2:02:38Like it was a while here. Let [music] me
2:02:39close this [ __ ]
2:02:41>> Yeah. Uh All right. Quit menu desktop.
2:02:44There it is. Uh I did save, right? Like
2:02:46I mean, let me just I I do I do this
2:02:49thing, right? Like I do this thing. It's
2:02:50like anxiety, right?
2:02:53Okay.
2:02:57Die, Caden. Die, die, die. Wait, what?
2:03:01Wait, why is my Why is my own mod
2:03:03telling me to die? [music]
2:03:06Okay, I got to figure that out. Yeah, I
2:03:08got I got to figure that part out. Like,
2:03:10that's [ __ ] up. That's bad, bro. Like,
2:03:13wow. He's been doing that. Really? Damn.
2:03:17Like, I got to stop paying him then, I
2:03:18guess. [ __ ]
2:03:21And so based mob, shut the [ __ ] up. So
2:03:24yeah, anyway, uh that game was [ __ ]
2:03:26fun. Uh I actually I had a lot of fun. I
2:03:28enjoyed that a lot. It was great. And uh
2:03:30that mod hates you. That's all right. We
2:03:32we'll invite him to the we'll invite him
2:03:34to the streamer house later on and then
2:03:35we'll uh
2:03:39kill him. I'm thinking about just maybe,
2:03:43you know what I mean? That's just my
2:03:45opinion. That's just what I was
2:03:47thinking, right? I'm not saying 100%. I
2:03:49understand a bit. So, yeah. And he'll be
2:03:52dealt with. Yeah. Well, he will be dealt
2:03:54with. That's right. And uh he der Yeah.
2:03:57Uh Crimson wasn't boring. Had some good
2:03:59laugh watching you play. I know. I know.
2:04:00I know. You see Marathon's player count?
2:04:02Uh well, it's probably up today, right?
2:04:04Because it's Sunday. Is today Sunday?
2:04:06Today's Sunday, right? No, it's
2:04:08Saturday.
2:04:10Damn, it's Saturday. Okay. Like that. Is
2:04:12that Is that it? Okay. Um Yeah. That's
2:04:15crazy. I didn't even know I just learned
2:04:17that right now.
2:04:18But yeah, no, I've been playing the [ __ ]
2:04:20out Crimson Desert, bro. I've been
2:04:21playing a [ __ ] lot with this game.
2:04:23I'll show you. I'll show youall real
2:04:25quick before I end. Yeah, I I'll show
2:04:27you real quick. You see Marathon
2:04:29Reviews? I'm getting a nine out of 10. I
2:04:31give Marathon a nine out of 10. I would
2:04:33give Marathon like a six or a seven.
2:04:35Like a six or seven seems like
2:04:37reasonable. Like I mean, I could see
2:04:39like somebody who's like a big fan
2:04:41saying an eight. I could see somebody
2:04:42who doesn't like it saying a five, but
2:04:44like I don't think it's anywhere outside
2:04:46of that. I think it's like a five to
2:04:47eight. Like I I I no way it's it's below
2:04:51five, right? I mean, it's a functional
2:04:52game. It plays relatively well. I mean,
2:04:54I can't see that's not below a five. Um
2:04:58No, I'm being honest. Like that those
2:05:00are the two numbers I said it would be.
2:05:02Like, I'm not trying to I'm not I'm not
2:05:03on that [ __ ] Like, I'm [music]
2:05:04telling you guys the truth.
2:05:06So, we play Crimson on Monday. On
2:05:09Monday? What happens on Monday? The [ __ ]
2:05:10happens on Monday?
2:05:12Like that? Honestly, that thing with the
2:05:14donuts was weird, though. Whenever I
2:05:16said three and then he said three.
2:05:22Wow.
2:05:24Like I I the thing is that like if I was
2:05:27a streamer whenever I was like 19 or 17,
2:05:32I would be banned. Like I would have
2:05:34actually just gotten banned.
2:05:38Bring back welfare Wednesday. I I
2:05:40stopped doing that cuz this [ __ ] was
2:05:41expensive. Like uh people I want people
2:05:44donating money and then like want me to
2:05:46watch their [ __ ] stupid ass YouTube
2:05:47video. [ __ ] [ __ ] annoyed the [ __ ] out of
2:05:50me.
2:05:52Marathon's down 40k players from 80k
2:05:54launch. That's half and a half. Not so
2:05:56good. You would be Johnny Somali. No, I
2:05:59wouldn't. I would be more like who's the
2:06:02streamer I would be like. I would be
2:06:03like kind of like Aiden, I think. Uh
2:06:05where like he just invited all of his
2:06:06friends over and they just sat in front
2:06:07of the computer and talked. Like that's
2:06:09really what what I would do. Help a
2:06:10fellow.
2:06:11>> I might see see what's going on with my
2:06:12money. Let me get my money up right now.
2:06:17Get the dark marksman set. It's pretty
2:06:19good looking. Yeah, I already had it. I
2:06:22farmed it on myself. Where's the [ __ ]
2:06:24bank, bro? I got to check the bank.
2:06:28I think it's in here.
2:06:30I play this game all day. All day. All
2:06:33night. I've been playing this game.
2:06:35>> Open this [ __ ] Why' they make the
2:06:37banker? Look at Look at this here. Like
2:06:39why' they make the banker look like
2:06:40this?
2:06:43Why' they do that?
2:06:44>> Money is a noble thing.
2:06:45>> Isn't that weird?
2:06:47Here, I'm going with draw some silver.
2:06:50Oh, I I can't do it. I got 10 gold bars
2:06:52now. I got 10.
2:06:56They call that big money. I'm in what's
2:06:59called a big money situation right now.
2:07:03That's right. How? Big money.
2:07:08That's how I got 50. That's a good
2:07:10start.
2:07:12They say lower accurate banker. Wait,
2:07:14accurate to what? What do you mean? What
2:07:16do you mean accurate? Accurate to Well,
2:07:18cuz it's a nice place. Like, yeah, banks
2:07:20are usually nice. Yeah, they're usually
2:07:21nice. Yeah, that's true. That's what you
2:07:24meant, right?
2:07:28Yeah.
2:07:29>> Spare something.
2:07:30>> Holy [ __ ] So weird. Yeah.
2:07:33>> What a woeful fade.
2:07:34>> You playing off stream? [ __ ] yeah. I was
2:07:36playing off stream. I'm playing the [ __ ]
2:07:37out of this game. I'm playing this all
2:07:39the time. Like, I've been playing this a
2:07:41lot. I've been enjoying it, too. Like,
2:07:43it's been a really fun game for me to
2:07:45play. Like, um, you know, I just need to
2:07:50I need to just play it more, honestly.
2:07:52That's all there is to it. I just need
2:07:53to play it more.
2:07:56I can't go over there.
2:07:59>> Food.
2:08:01So,
2:08:01>> is that a show? Yeah. Yeah. Tangrail
2:08:04DLC. Did you uh help the kelpie farm
2:08:06from the altar? I killed the kelpies.
2:08:10I killed every kelpie there was cuz I I
2:08:13thought that I would get something for
2:08:15it. I killed those stupid [ __ ]
2:08:17horses. And I killed that [ __ ] after
2:08:19she got mad. I killed her, too.
2:08:24Bro, I'm I'm King Arthur's anointed
2:08:26knight. I can do anything I want.
2:08:30I can do anything I want. I have the I
2:08:32have the [ __ ] the edict of of [ __ ]
2:08:34uh Camelot.
2:08:36I kill anybody.
2:08:39Just look, I don't make the rules.
2:08:41Actually, I do because I'm King Arthur's
2:08:43anointed knight. So, yeah. Kelpy, like
2:08:47from Berserk. I don't know if it's from
2:08:48Berserk or not. Like, I don't even know
2:08:50where the words from. Honestly, I have
2:08:51no idea. Uh I'm going to go I'm probably
2:08:53going to go out to eat with some some
2:08:54people. And so, uh I'm gonna go and do
2:08:56that. I'm gonna be back on tomorrow. And
2:08:58when I'm back on tomorrow, we going to
2:09:00do just a little bit more of that game.
2:09:04Not this game, that game. So anyway,
2:09:06guys, thank you all very much for
2:09:07watching. I appreciate it. And I will
2:09:09see you all tomorrow. All right, boys.
2:09:10Peace. Ship.

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