YT YouTube2Text

YouTube2Text → Transcripts → Simon Sinek Q & A: How Do Cell Phones Impact Our Relationships

Simon Sinek Q & A: How Do Cell Phones Impact Our Relationships — Transcript

by aealearningonlinelive · 2,678 words · 377 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

Open in transcriber Summarize with AI Download SRT/VTT

Full transcript

0:01[Music]
0:14let me talk about cell phones for five
0:17minutes okay
0:21so almost every alcoholic so I get to
0:24talk to a lot of Gen Y kids high school
0:27and and older but it's now the Young
0:30generation is also is going to be
0:31affected by this and then
0:33some um they are suffering they they
0:37they are starting with a deficiency that
0:40is the responsibil that we have to share
0:42responsibility in helping them overcome
0:43let me explain almost every alcoholic on
0:46the planet discovered alcohol when they
0:49were teenagers because when we're very
0:51young the only thing we need from our uh
0:53the only approval we need is from our
0:55parents that's it you know a little kid
0:57looks to their parents the parents are
0:58happy they're happy and then one we go
1:00through adolescence we start to need the
1:02approval of our peers as frustrating as
1:04this is for parents it's actually very
1:06important for us because it allows us to
1:08acculturate outside of our immediate
1:10families right it's a very stressful
1:13time adolescence and what we're supposed
1:16to learn is to rely on our friends
1:18during this time of Stress and Anxiety
1:21some people accidentally discover
1:23alcohol and the numbing effects of
1:25dopamine because that's what dopamine
1:26does and unfortunately they accidentally
1:29make a hard wired connection that when
1:31they suffer stress you don't go to a
1:33friend you go to the bottle and that
1:35then plays out for the rest of their
1:36lives all alcoholics 100% drink for a
1:39finite number of reasons social stress
1:41Financial stress career stress that's
1:43pretty much it right it's a coping
1:45mechanism so we know that you get a
1:48dopamine release which is the same
1:50chemical that makes you feel good when
1:51you drink we know that you get a
1:54dopamine release when your phone goes
1:55Buzz or beep or Flash or you know Bing
1:59we know that you get that when you get
2:01social media alerts as well and so
2:03what's starting to happen is these kids
2:05as they're going through adolesence
2:06nobody has recognized that the device is
2:08actually addictive and so what we're
2:11actually doing is creating an entire
2:12generation of mini little addicts that
2:14are getting hardwired to believe that
2:15their sense of self-worth and their
2:17sense of coping comes from the device
2:19and not from another human being that's
2:21why they have they suffer real stress
2:22when they lose followers and they get
2:24real Joy when they gain followers like
2:27the number of responses they get or
2:29likes that they get are real those
2:31stresses when they when they suffer when
2:33they're feeling a little bit down we do
2:34the same thing when you're feeling a
2:35little down you send out 10 texts hoping
2:37to get one back and what's happening is
2:40because the device is so can I borrow
2:41someone's phone when when someone thank
2:44you when someone when uh here's what
2:47happens the kids are walking around with
2:48them all the time I now see girls
2:50walking around like this like they're
2:51not even holding them down here it's
2:52like this and I see boys walking around
2:55like this this is just how they walk
2:59it's here it's not here and they put it
3:02on the table in front of them and here
3:04let me show you what I
3:05mean um there's a subconscious effect on
3:09the on the people around us when we have
3:10our phones and we're all guilty of
3:13this um what if I'm holding my phone
3:16it's not tweeting it's not buzzing it's
3:17not beeping and I'm not checking it I'm
3:19simply holding my phone do you feel that
3:21you're the most important thing to me
3:23right now no you do not and this is an
3:26artificial environment simply by holding
3:28the phone which means when we show up to
3:30a meeting and we put our phones on the
3:32table it says to the rest of the people
3:34in the room you're not the most
3:35important thing to me right now and by
3:37the way putting your phone upside down
3:38is not more
3:40polite when we show up for dinner with
3:42our families when we have to have a
3:44conversation with one of our students
3:46when we have to have a conversation with
3:47a parent and we put a phone on the table
3:49it says this is not the most important
3:50thing to me right now you felt it and so
3:53the most important thing to do is to get
3:54rid of the device when you're engaging
3:55with another human being so when
3:56somebody says can I ask you a question
3:58and you go
4:00what's on your mind because what it says
4:02is you have my attention remember that
4:05those chemicals when somebody says when
4:07when we feel that somebody actually
4:08cares about us and if you don't have a
4:10pocket you go to a shelf nearby you put
4:12it down you say what's on your mind when
4:13someone comes into your office you put
4:14the phone in the desk you turn off the
4:16monitor you shut the laptop you say
4:17what's on your mind right so what's
4:20happening is kids now they go for dinner
4:22with each other hang out with each other
4:23the lunch table with each other and the
4:24phones are out constantly and not only
4:26they just on the table they're actually
4:29they're actually engaging with people
4:31instead of engaging with the people that
4:32they're with and they're not actually
4:34learning thank you they're not actually
4:36learning how to make friends they're not
4:40actually learning how to talk to
4:42people um so I've talked to many kids
4:44about this that let's say they're using
4:46Google Maps to get
4:48somewhere and their phone dies they will
4:51spend more time looking for a charger
4:53than simply asking somebody where to go
4:55because they're afraid to talk to people
4:58and for slightly older ones dating is
5:00the same you know uh you swipe right and
5:04that's it you can get a date right like
5:06dating has been made so easy it's
5:07instant gratification and this is part
5:09of the problem they're growing up in a
5:10world of instant gratification where if
5:12you want to buy something you go on
5:13Amazon it shows up the next day you want
5:14to watch a movie you just log on and
5:16watch it you don't check movie times you
5:17want to watch TV you don't wait week to
5:19week to week you just binge watch over a
5:21weekend um if you want to get a date you
5:24just log on and you can get a date like
5:26no problem and so what's starting to
5:28happen is
5:30they're accused of being entitled I
5:31don't think they have a sense of
5:32entitlement I think they're wonderful
5:33smart hardworking kids I think what they
5:35have is is a systemic impatience and the
5:38problem is is they think that that
5:40satisfaction in life fulfillment or even
5:43love and friendship happen just as
5:45immediately and they don't it takes time
5:48and it takes unbelievable hard work and
5:50the problem is they're not learning the
5:51skills to make friends they're not
5:53learning the skills to fall in love
5:54they're not learning the skills to talk
5:56to people they're not learning the
5:57skills to find fulfillment because it's
5:58slow and it's boring and it's human and
6:02we're starting to see the results we're
6:03starting to see suicides on the rise
6:06nobody kills themselves because they're
6:07hungry they kill themselves because
6:08they're lonely we're starting to see
6:10school shootings on the rise in the
6:121960s there was one in the 1980s there
6:15were 27 in the 1990s they were 58 in the
6:17past decade we've had over 120 70% were
6:20perpetrated by kids born after the Year
6:221980 most of them were about 15 years
6:25old and though we have no good science
6:27on it we know anecdotally that spent a
6:30disproportionate amount of their social
6:32lives da da da
6:34online Human Relationships is what makes
6:37people happy this is why solitary
6:38confinement is considered torture in
6:40many places and what we're doing is
6:42basically solitary confinement we've
6:43taken the kids away from each other and
6:45they're engaging with their phones more
6:47than anything I for one do not believe
6:49there should be a phone in a school
6:50there should definitely not be a phone
6:51in a classroom and I don't know why you
6:53need the internet in a classroom either
6:54whatever they're using they can I do not
6:56understand because giving and it's and
6:58the reason I'm draconian about it is the
7:00same reason we take the alcohol out of
7:02the alcoholic's home because you can't
7:03trust the willpower it's too powerful it
7:06is addiction it is addiction we aren't
7:08even good at putting our phones away and
7:10so now are you going to ask a
7:1112-year-old a 10-year-old and a
7:12nine-year-old to do it we're out of our
7:14minds the only way to do it is to take
7:16the phone away to to ban them in a
7:19classroom and ban them in a school they
7:21will hate it at the beginning and then
7:22watch what happens I'll give you some uh
7:24personal experiences so when I go into
7:26do workshops with people I'll sit with a
7:28room full EX Executives and the first
7:30thing I do is I take a bucket or a bowl
7:33and I walk around the room and I make
7:35them throw their phones in the bucket or
7:36the bowl I get very dirty looks and they
7:38are not happy these are some senior
7:40Executives that go like
7:42this right and I just I take all the
7:45phones away and I put them on the side
7:48and then we start the workshop here's
7:50what happens within a few minutes
7:51everybody
7:52relaxes people talk to each other and
7:55the most important thing is the breaks
7:57because usually what happens in a break
7:59and I watch happen here too as soon as
8:00we stand up we go like this you're all
8:03nice and respectful when I'm on the
8:04stage but as soon as we stop everybody's
8:06checking in right now as an aside
8:08there's no quicker way to undermine the
8:09trust in your people than to feel the
8:11need that you have to check in every
8:12hour as opposed to saying hey guys I'm
8:14going to be out for a day you got this I
8:16trust you right make it green check with
8:18Steve you know uh but that's what we do
8:21we respond to everything um um but worse
8:25we're not engaging with each other the
8:26value of these events is each other and
8:29so when I take these phones away from
8:31these Executives in the breaks they sit
8:34and they talk to each other nobody goes
8:36to get their phone I made no rule that
8:38said they can't I just put them away and
8:40put them on the side they actually talk
8:41to each other the quality of the
8:42workshop is always fantastic and the
8:44best part is when they walk out they
8:46actually are talking to each other on
8:47their way out in other words camaraderie
8:51simply by forcing the phone to be taken
8:52away it's a mechanism to get the
8:54behavior that we want David marque's
8:57work talks about this you don't trying
8:58to change people's thinking to get the
9:00behavior you change the behavior to
9:02change their thinking and so sometimes
9:04you have to force it there should never
9:05ever ever be a cell phone in a
9:07conference in a conference room I don't
9:09care if you're with each other or or
9:11with your parents whatever or you're
9:12meeting with your students theirs or
9:14yours there should never be a cell phone
9:16out in any kind of conference room ever
9:18because the quality of the meetings goes
9:19up and I promise you even though people
9:21will Grumble and even though they'll
9:22hate it and even the parents will say
9:24what about an emergency here's what you
9:26do in an emergency call this number it's
9:28the it's the
9:30School tell us little Jimmy something
9:33happened to his grandmother and we'll go
9:35get little Jimmy for you old school
9:38right like I got it there's an emergency
9:40that doesn't mean the kid has to have a
9:41phone on the whole time because the
9:43negative impact is not worth the not
9:44worth the benefit and at the end of the
9:46day how many kids have really been
9:47called out because of emergencies on
9:48their phones I mean you know in my world
9:51I would love to put chicken wire inside
9:53the sheetrock of all the schools so the
9:54phones just don't work and it'll be like
9:56ah AT&T you know
10:01anyway my point is is what'll start to
10:03happen is simply by removing the device
10:05including the cafeteria I'm not talking
10:07classroom I'm talking everywhere you'll
10:09start to see the kids talking and
10:11learning how to communicate and learning
10:13how to build social relationships
10:15learning how to talk to each other
10:16learning how to talk to their teachers
10:17learning how to talk to their parents
10:18they will acculturate and socialize
10:20their skills that they're lacking that
10:21are manifesting in things like
10:22depression suicide and school shootings
10:24later on in life that's those are the
10:26worst case scenarios the best case
10:27scenario is you just hate your life and
10:29live live your life just going through
10:31life thinking life sucks and not really
10:32loving your friends colleges now are
10:34dealing with unprecedented numbers of
10:36people dropping out or taking leaves of
10:38ab absences because of
10:41depression it all starts here you know
10:44if there's one school here that wants to
10:46experiment and literally ban phones in
10:50the entire building teachers included I
10:53think phones should be treated like
10:55smokers make as many texts as you want
10:57send as make as many personal calls as
10:58you want
11:00outside right at least smokers are
11:03social at least they go out with each
11:08other um and the reason I say this is
11:11not because of some high futin op I love
11:13technology I think there's nothing wrong
11:15with technology it's about the balance
11:17alcohol is great drinking too much
11:18alcohol is not good for you gambling is
11:20fun gambling too much is not good for
11:22you cell phones are wonderful out of
11:24balance they're absolutely addictive and
11:26destructive to the relationships of
11:27human beings and I bet one school could
11:29demonstrate not only grades will improve
11:31relationships will improve bullying will
11:33improve all of that go sort of is
11:34mitigated simply because the kids are
11:36learning to talk to each other so I
11:39wanted to bring it up because it's it's
11:41a very real problem with adults as well
11:43as as well as the teachers because
11:44remember leadership starts at the top
11:47which means if we we can't tell the kids
11:48not to use their phones if we use ours
11:51teachers can't use them either they can
11:53be a place to use them Teachers Lounge
11:55maybe you know after
11:58school but not in the
12:01classroom it matters I've been doing it
12:04myself I go out with my friends now and
12:06I go out for dinner and I hand my phone
12:07to my friend whoever I'm with I'll give
12:09them my phone I have no access to it now
12:13and I relax and I enjoy my dinner with
12:14my friend or I make everybody make turn
12:16their phone one to the left we all give
12:19our phones away that you know it's the
12:20funniest thing somebody goes to the
12:21bathroom what's the first thing we do we
12:22pull our phone out and you know God
12:24forbid we should like just enjoy the
12:26surroundings for four minutes
12:29you know or if somebody else brings
12:31their phone out we have to because we
12:33feel uncomfortable just sort of like
12:34standing there so we bring our phone out
12:36too it's what happens it's what happens
12:39it it has a ripple effect anyway I've
12:41I've beaten that horse a lot
12:45[Music]

About this transcript

This page contains the full transcript of Simon Sinek Q & A: How Do Cell Phones Impact Our Relationships by aealearningonlinelive, generated from the public captions YouTube serves with the video. The transcript has 2,678 words across 377 segments, with the original timestamps preserved so you can click any line to jump to that moment in the embedded player.

What you can do with it

Use the transcript to take notes, quote the speaker, build a study guide, generate a summary with ChatGPT or Claude via the YouTube Summary tool, or export it as a timed subtitle file with YouTube to SRT. You can also re-open it in the transcriber to translate the transcript into 100+ languages.

Free YouTube transcript tool

YouTube2Text is a free YouTube transcript generator — no signup, no daily limit. Paste any YouTube link and get the full transcript instantly, with timestamps, click-to-jump, translation to 100+ languages, AI prompts for ChatGPT, Claude, and Gemini, and exports to TXT, SRT, VTT, or Markdown.