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Sigrid & Anastasia Share Their TRUTH as Ex-Spiritual Wives of Venant Wong (KAP) & Shivananda Swamiji — Transcript

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0:10hi hi
0:12hello welcome to Bali thank you very
0:16much we are here today on a very special
0:20special conversation yes that are going
0:24to be captured and it is a time to
0:29mention the stories from two people that
0:33have been in a relationship with two
0:36figures two leaders in a spiritual
0:40communities and we are here today to
0:43speak the truth yes we're
0:49ready
0:50yeah
0:52so how do we start how do we start this
0:55conversation to mention that we don't
0:57have a plan we don't have a structure we
0:59don't have questions we're just going to
1:01roll as a channel what needs to come
1:04through yeah to be spoken out
1:08yeah and um yes to mention it the
1:12purpose for this it's really us to come
1:16back to our power and our voices and to
1:20speak our truth that's the per you know
1:23the purpose of it all and to spread
1:26awareness really because it's been a
1:29long time in silence and we had our
1:32reasons for that but now it's time it's
1:36time and I'm so happy that we are doing
1:37it together such a interesting thing
1:41that in parallel we had these stories
1:45going at the same time at the same time
1:48at the same copy paste things that are
1:52usually happening in spiritual
1:54communities it's bizarre that things are
1:57turns out to be so common it's crazy
2:00copy paste yeah yeah and we are not
2:03coming with the from the place of anger
2:06or uh revenging we are not here to put
2:11someone down and Rise through that we
2:16are here to just authentically speak the
2:19truth the real the facts yeah that
2:23people are I'm sure on the other end
2:26people who are watching that they have
2:28been waiting for these stories to come
2:30up yeah mhm so um well my name is secret
2:36braded and and estas manova and um
2:40should we share how we met yeah so we
2:42met in 2019 right yes in a cap calini
2:47activation process facilitator training
2:49which I was holding with my ex partner
2:53uh so that's when you were trained in
2:56cap and where we first met then we've
2:59been
3:00seeing each other a few times since then
3:03but been a part for about what is it
3:05five years five years yeah five years
3:08that summer of 2019 when I was trained
3:11in cap modality and I was one of the
3:14first 30 people in the world that venant
3:17twang trained and I was so honored I was
3:20so inspired because this work has
3:22changed my life yeah I was pioneering
3:25through the world to Russia India I
3:27remember Africa bringing that and
3:29speaking and inspiring people how how
3:31impactful and life-changing experience
3:33it was for me and for many and then we
3:36met in September 2019 on the bigger
3:39class and I remember those videos and
3:41pictures me and you had yeah and I
3:43always felt a special connection with
3:45your Purity because I resonate on that
3:48um qu quality of the energy right and it
3:52was it was
3:55significant our encounter yeah and then
3:58we just boom flew way to our individual
4:02stories uh being Partners being uh
4:06spiritual wives in my side uh to that
4:10leaders
4:12figures
4:13[Music]
4:16um that's how it goes so do you want to
4:18start sharing so we're going to share
4:21our stories and maybe you go first
4:25because me and Anastasia has been
4:26through very similar a very similar
4:29pattern MH uh and um I think yeah we can
4:34relate a lot to each other's stories
4:36it's even if it's different it's so much
4:40coming together that it's like it's just
4:43like you say it's copy paste this is
4:45happening all over the world and it's
4:47huge in spiritual communities that these
4:49kind of things
4:51happen so and to be honest I know and I
4:55feel um how both of us are right now
5:00in this threshold right even like three
5:04months ago we would be hesitant and
5:07holding a little bit back because so
5:09many people go through similar stories
5:11and feeling ashamed yeah what they have
5:13been through and embarrassed even to
5:17speak up speak out and uh having us both
5:23sharing in the same place I was telling
5:26you when I reached out in March of this
5:29year I was telling you secret I've been
5:32in this shoes I understand like no one
5:34else yeah I'm here sister we're going to
5:37do it we're going to do it together and
5:40uh like I'm telling that for people to
5:43understand it wasn't easy it's not easy
5:45for us to come out and let's let's go
5:48straight to the stories because when you
5:50come out you have to highlight what's
5:52happening coming out of a toxic
5:55relationship like that that is also
5:57including you know energetic work work
5:59it's like it's not just a toxic
6:02relationship it's beyond that and coming
6:05out of this I think a lot of woman can
6:07relate because a lot of people have
6:09reached out to me and I like I've been
6:10through the same thing and so coming out
6:13of that there's a period
6:15of yes not being able to speak I would
6:19say and a period of confusion a period
6:23of guilt a period of you know all like
6:27grief anger like all the stages but but
6:31um I think we both realized in those
6:34difficult moments that it's not a good
6:36time to talk about this from that place
6:40because it might just create more fear
6:43or it might not come from the right
6:45place um so that's why we both took our
6:49time to properly heal and are still
6:51healing I would say but we're in a much
6:53better place than we were back then and
6:56to mention also uh I remember reaching
6:59out to I was telling you so I went
7:01through that 3 years ago and I took time
7:03to heal properly although you never know
7:06like when it's enough when it's complete
7:08the healing process right and then you
7:10really to speak uh I tried um to attempt
7:15to to write the story on my social media
7:18part one part two part three and people
7:20were like where the part four but it
7:22definitely got me a little bit on that
7:24frequency I healed I forgave but I
7:27didn't forget and like bringing that
7:30story up for me it was messing with my
7:32mind so also at the same time I was
7:35thinking all this year I was thinking
7:38and debating inside should I speak about
7:41it should I tell this truth or I
7:43shouldn't what if I tell the truth and I
7:47will take away the experiences that
7:50another woman have to go through with
7:53that person with my ex right almost like
7:56they have to go through this pain and
7:58suffer what if I like no don't go don't
8:01the warning and it was a that inner
8:04dialogue I was having a lot of
8:06conversation with the spiritual Elders I
8:09would say and a lot of people advise me
8:11don't do it inasia don't talk about it
8:13move on heal do your life you'll be so
8:16much more happy but I know that if I if
8:19I didn't do it it would be like still
8:22that
8:23like uh gestal is not closed and I feel
8:26the responsibility the duty yeah of
8:29authentically to share the part of the
8:31story same because how bizarre that
8:35those two teachers are still rolling and
8:41growing an amount of people who are
8:44drawn to that uh teachers right the two
8:49figures it just expanding and expanding
8:52but not a lot of people know the what's
8:55what's happening behind the closed doors
8:58no and that feeling has been there for
9:00me as well the whole time like I feel
9:03the need to speak about it
9:06but all the time not yet not yet there's
9:09always been something that oh maybe this
9:11would be more harmful than
9:14impactful and whenever I decided from
9:17the start
9:19to um because it wasn't me who spoke
9:22first it was actually other people who
9:24started to speaking up and I realized
9:26this is much bigger than just my
9:28personal story gives me goosebumps it's
9:31it's Global right now with the energy of
9:34last year this year a lot of things are
9:35coming up a lot of leaders are being
9:38exposed on social media huge and by
9:40realizing that it this has impacted so
9:43many more than just me this is not just
9:45about my personal relationship that this
9:47has impacted the whole you know
9:49community and that made me feel resp
9:52like you know more responsible that I
9:54have to speak about it but in the
9:56beginning I decided very early on to
9:59just
9:59don't do anything if it's not like 100%
10:03yes so I stayed silent for a long time
10:05and it was very frustrating like I kept
10:07so much inside of me so many secrets you
10:10know so much to carry MH
10:13um and my only my only thing that I knew
10:18that I needed to do was just to take a
10:20stand and remove myself from that from
10:24cap MH um and that was that was all that
10:27I was sure of in the time and the rest
10:30had to come later and I guess here we
10:32are you were authentically choosing
10:35yourself yeah and it was very difficult
10:37as it was very difficult for me one year
10:39to stand out uh step away from the
10:43organization and I was
10:46wholeheartedly devoting all of my life
10:48to that energy uh to the cap I was
10:52associated with cap mhm and it was
10:55intimidating and difficult to step on my
10:58own yeah to start but I could not not
11:02step away any longer because way it was
11:05all going uh it raised just some
11:08questions in my Consciousness yeah and
11:11what made you take that step I don't
11:13think we have talked about this we we
11:15didn't uh you know when um a few years
11:20later when I was trained it was a covid
11:23it was a pause on that and then um it
11:27was a lot of trainings happening and
11:30suddenly I remember was receiving the
11:33email that uh it's going to be level two
11:36with nonu State of Consciousness
11:38transmission training and to me it was
11:41like you cannot be training people to
11:44non-duality it's either you already go
11:47naturally into the State of
11:48Consciousness or it will take time but
11:51you cannot just expend no duel no
11:54depends completely where you're at in
11:56your journey so people think they're
11:58getting something and they don't even
12:01understand that that's not it you know
12:04yeah it's like almost like the marketing
12:06thing for me it was like I admired Ven
12:09and for how he was how in my um idea how
12:13I saw him and then I and then I thought
12:17hm it's like life presented the
12:20possibility of Temptations I have no
12:22idea what was happening when he was
12:24training the level two and level one was
12:28um
12:30was trained by five people four people
12:34four people and I thought if I came
12:37later to the cab when it was already in
12:40that structure level one level two I
12:42would not be I would not want to be
12:44trained by four people it's like a
12:46different Source has to be from one
12:49channel from one uh transmission that
12:52Attunement but it's like four different
12:55people it's the combination of that and
12:59maybe it's just my judgment but I I
13:01thought it's not spiritual like in a
13:03spiritual propriety it should not be
13:06like that no especially trained with
13:09non-duality it's it would be the same I
13:12I do um my own Workshop massive orgasmic
13:16activation which is called MOA and some
13:18people call me Anastasia can you train
13:20me to MOA and I'm like it's untrainable
13:23you either go in your Evolution your
13:26steps expansion growth and go into that
13:29that Cosmic Divine B orgasm or you can't
13:33right now you cannot and I don't want to
13:37I'm not um tempted by money or fame to
13:41do to go this route no and
13:45I I I love the N you know the nonduality
13:49and I love to have that as a part of the
13:51trainings and teach it and and help
13:54people go there because you are already
13:56there with your Consciousness in non
13:57duel but
14:00not in this like you cannot like you say
14:03you cannot go for five days and think
14:05that I got it and and now I can teach it
14:08it's just not how it works like Anyway
14:11this is not really the topic yeah and
14:13and there are and there are so many
14:15people who don't get it and they just go
14:17it's like yeah and it becomes very just
14:21diluted and misleading I would say
14:24misleading yeah
14:27yeah anyway anyway it was like there's a
14:30lot to talk about walk and we might even
14:33continue on this topic regarding
14:35specific you know issues I would say in
14:38this field we have we have so much to
14:40talk about but um let's dive into what
14:44we've been through and maybe you want to
14:45start with your story I'd love to so uh
14:50in 2012 I had my first um Awakening it
14:54was Kundalini glimpses of rising Rising
14:58and I had a clear idea that I would love
15:02to meet my future partner who would be a
15:05teacher because I potentially KN knew
15:08that I would be growing into that and I
15:10understood that I'm not there yet it
15:12took me what six years seven years of
15:15the spiritual training different um uh
15:19seminars Workshop whatever I was
15:20learning to develop into meeting the
15:25teacher on the same level and so you
15:28knew in lat that was about to happen
15:30somehow intuitively I knew that I would
15:32be teaching and I little did I know that
15:35I would be working with Kundalini and
15:36bringing that to the world uh back then
15:40I just had an idea and I knew I'm not
15:42quite there it will take time to develop
15:45so in
15:472019 I was trained into cap modality it
15:50was a highlight of my 33rd birthday and
15:54then four months later I meet um
15:57accidentally right no
15:59coincidences uh that spiritual teacher
16:03spiritual Guru already at that moment um
16:07and I remember going to his website
16:09before meeting that person going to to
16:12the website and there were description
16:14of his
16:15bio blah blah blah whatever the
16:17information and then the last sentence
16:19devoted to Jesus and Mary and for me it
16:22was
16:23like ordained this is my person it was
16:26like this is I don't know how I have to
16:29meet because Mary and Jesus and
16:31Magdalene have been very very dear and
16:33the Resonance of the frequency um it's
16:36in DNA it's an astrological chart so I
16:39was guided through this energy and um I
16:43uh arrived to California and it's the
16:46second time when I met you it was the
16:49beautiful um Workshop you were holding
16:52and already during that Workshop I was
16:55at the parallel going to the SAT tank of
16:58my ex she was and Swami G oh yes I
17:01remember yeah I was like hyper excited I
17:03think I was hovering I was levitating
17:05from that energy and like it was love
17:08from the first side it was the
17:09recognition like it's the beginning of
17:13the Beautiful Beginning I say always it
17:17was movie worth of this scenario fairy
17:20tale remember 2012 I had an idea and it
17:24was like divinely orchestrated boom here
17:26it is and it was such a match in that
17:30transmission that he was doing uh eye
17:33gazing and Daran like how some spiritual
17:37gurus are doing from the Hindu
17:39tradition and I was amazed uh how I
17:43already for four months were holding my
17:45classes working with Kundalini was on
17:48such high and seeing that
17:51teacher that human being so selflessly
17:55serving the energy to the younger El it
17:59didn't really matter the amount of love
18:01the energy was pouring through him it
18:04was to me it was like I know I'm serving
18:07but this is so much bigger than me and
18:09I'm like I'm going to serve that to
18:12serve on a bigger scale I was like I'm
18:14I'm going and at that moment he was
18:16already dating someone he was seeing um
18:19uh young woman young lady and somehow
18:23things turned that he chose me mhm uh as
18:27far as I understand now she was not
18:29quite ready for that lifestyle it's the
18:31traveling the world it's doing that work
18:33I was ready I was I was waiting for that
18:35I was manifesting that and it was Bingo
18:38Bingo Bingo second time we met in
18:42September we met for the first time
18:43second time we met in November and we
18:46got
18:48married wow it was a dream come true
18:50fairy tale little did I know about
18:53narcissism that they do this really fast
18:56I thought things like that ex face yeah
18:59things like that exist and go from Woman
19:01to Woman to Woman in uh beautiful movies
19:04they show right it's fast love from the
19:07first side or college sweetheart or
19:10School sweethearts so I knew that exist
19:13and why doesn't exist for me it exists
19:14for me too boom and I mean we're just
19:17like floating in love romantic naive
19:20pure naive open minded openhearted uh
19:24ready and I just got myself into the
19:29Beautiful Beginning of the continuation
19:31of The Nightmare hell like of the
19:35relationship uh and to mention it was
19:37the covid time and I was joking like
19:39forget about
19:41covid I went through my personal hell I
19:44was leaving in Hell walking in the fire
19:47I was having fire on my body amputation
19:49without anesthesia knives throwing into
19:51my back I went through it all but I
19:55didn't know it in the beginning in the
19:56beginning it was
20:00I guess a lie because I was mentioning
20:02that I am one person relationship one in
20:05one I'm not polygamic I'm
20:07monogamic I will not accept if uh you
20:11have something on a side I will never be
20:14able to do that like are you clear that
20:16it's just going to be us because I
20:17already see how many women are
20:19worshiping and uh getting excited maybe
20:22like falling in love are you sure that
20:26it will sustain that way that I see it
20:28she shaki and he was saying yes it just
20:31asked even though it's going to be a lot
20:33of women looking at me they will know
20:35that I have you and it was for me it was
20:37the everything I wanted to hear right
20:39I'm coming to this relationship knowing
20:41that I grew into that it was not my Guru
20:45it was not my
20:46teacher it was a match Shiva Shakti he
20:49was saying it's going to be Shiva it's
20:51going to be Shakti it's going to be
20:52Shiva sh going to be on his sha yes yeah
20:56and then
20:58marriage spiritual marriage in India was
21:01also
21:03pretty um uh to mention when I came to
21:06the his live I saw the or like an
21:11establishment serious establishment
21:13organization already it was not just the
21:15beginning it was
21:17ongoing uh movement the mission with
21:21ashrams with uh a sponsor who was
21:24providing everything to just to maintain
21:26the lifestyle of the guru traveling the
21:28world doing his teachings and s songs so
21:30you started to also work for him uh we
21:34were doing it together yeah okay uh but
21:36imagine I just see how many people come
21:39to the organ came to the organization
21:41and they were selflessly like supporting
21:43like forgetting about their sides it's
21:46such a high mission that you like I want
21:49to do it it's bigger than me it's bigger
21:50than you it's bigger than all of us
21:52together this is it and if he's bringing
21:54that I'm here to support that was my uh
21:57approach
21:59and
22:00um uh it was about New Year's of
22:062020 like a month later MH and we
22:10traveled to India we traveled to Africa
22:13Poland uh Italy together doing this work
22:16it was literally dream come true yeah
22:19already uh serving that energy serving
22:22that Awakening help helping people to
22:24heal and then we were separated because
22:27I was going to Russia to get my Visa to
22:29the go to go to the Europe and he was
22:32already in Europe in Poland holding his
22:33Retreats and somehow I started to feel
22:36like not subtle um you know like your
22:40our women intuition I'm like interesting
22:43something is telling me something like
22:44downloads like it's not as pure as the
22:48like what's happening like it's the
22:50moment you're out of their energy you
22:53start to like you start to clear
22:55guidance yeah from you from your higher
22:57self mhm wake up red flag
23:01boom and I remember getting into the
23:04conversation with him like he's sending
23:07me videos he's sending me pictures how
23:10so many women around in the SRO like not
23:13men in Poland and they staying up until
23:17very late and dancing in the darkness
23:19and I'm like this is the teacher
23:21position and everybody's like mingling
23:23like it's like no um uh um what is it
23:27English word for subordination I don't
23:29know if it's the word in English like a
23:31little bit of distance that uh boundary
23:33boundary there is no boundary like
23:35everybody especially uh my ex is the
23:37Italian everybody like Amora Amore he
23:40loves everyone and there is no distance
23:42and for me it was too close did it start
23:46with distance and then it turned into
23:48this or was he like this all the
23:51time I guess pictures I remember him
23:53like holding people like lying on them
23:56and like yeah you know this thing is it
23:59was part of his Daran mhm uh that in
24:04this part when I saw that it he was out
24:06he was in transmission like holding as
24:08if it was they say Jesus hug right it's
24:11like love pouring through his eyes
24:13that's what I felt too that's why I came
24:14to the picture yeah ordained to serve
24:17that but then in that polet Retreat I'm
24:20in Russia it's new years's and he
24:21doesn't respond to my calls he doesn't
24:24connect he he's he's serving and I
24:27understand but I feel something is off
24:29there you know there is something is
24:31like mixed uh feelings and I ask and to
24:36tell you the moment that my previous
24:39relationship uh it was not coming from
24:41me like a being a a crazy jealous wife
24:45creating like being superstitious and
24:47like uh always like seeing feeling like
24:51paranoic my previous relationship I had
24:54a uh
24:55boyfriend who was working with models
24:58and me being
24:595.2 ft I was in that surrounding never
25:03felt less because my man no matter top
25:07models Victoria Secret beautiful
25:09beautiful women around and my man was
25:13with me yeah and I never it was never
25:15broken never and I never felt any
25:18insecurities somehow in these stories
25:21yeah I felt like something is off and I
25:25remember the jealousy the you know it's
25:29it's all created yeah I I wasn't you
25:32know I was I didn't find myself as a
25:34jealous person or or suspicious or any
25:37of this but somehow it builds you know
25:41by the loving and withdrawing and the
25:44loving and with it creates this whole
25:47psychological hook also somehow and
25:52since that January I understood that I
25:53was like in longdistance relationship
25:56texting he was explaining he was blaming
25:58me I'm jealous and this and that I was
26:01observing and I'm NLP trained uh in in
26:04the school of New York and I was
26:07analyzing myself like kind of still
26:10going to that route of matching with
26:14words although I mastered the
26:17communication skill and I saw how the
26:19guru the teacher is dropping to
26:22the conversation like very not very cons
26:26conscious not very um a awake not very
26:30evolved conversation and I'm like I
26:33remember that red flag but I still kind
26:35of dropped into that and I started to
26:38become a little bit
26:40sarcastic and I was like um so I was
26:43like in that trap though it's not a
26:46blaming him I chose to be in that trap
26:49yeah and things started to accelerate it
26:51was the six months of the distant
26:53relation because of the covid I had
26:56dreams I had insight I had
26:59guidance and I just asked him to uh let
27:04him help him let me help him uh with
27:08social media because I was in that trap
27:11of
27:12texting him lying to my face and you
27:15knew he was lying and he knew he was
27:17lying and still like I don't know part
27:19of me was choosing to go
27:22because it was trauma Bond it was not
27:24love that I was like oh my God the the
27:27um uh Union made in heaven it was love
27:32bombing trapping in a trauma Bond yeah
27:36with a narcissist and me being an empath
27:39I had no idea zero who are narcissists
27:43yeah
27:44and uh so I asked him to help let me
27:49help you yeah passwords to social media
27:52Facebook I can do the uh targeted
27:55advertisement about your workshops Etc
27:58my intention was to see because I was
28:02already in a paranoia I was already in
28:05that
28:06story do I believe him do I believe my
28:09insights what's happening I was confused
28:11already in that narrative and it was
28:14kind of like
28:15self-help from the state of I need
28:18Clarity I need to see that he's doing
28:21something wrong all you want in that
28:23moment is to find some clarity in what
28:25the [ __ ] I'm sorry is going on
28:28and you do anything and you feel [ __ ]
28:31about doing it but you do anything to
28:33find out the truth in that moment
28:35because you don't want to believe that
28:37this amazing amazing person and story
28:41and everything is not real yeah yeah
28:45it's like on a some level of
28:47Consciousness you see this red flags but
28:50the feelings are you know when
28:53especially when you're on a long
28:54distance you are investing in energy in
28:57idea it's not like maybe if I saw him
29:00and we started to live together earlier
29:02I would be gone earlier but because of
29:05the drama and the illusion created and
29:10then part of it like seeing him
29:12idealizing it's my pattern seeing
29:15goodness in people and believing to the
29:16last moment that things can change so I
29:19got myself into like oh delusion and um
29:23to the point
29:25that that summer of
29:292020 Polish women who were staying in
29:31Italy with him started to call me one by
29:34one on a video call and
29:36estasia Luna Davy at that moment my
29:39spiritual name Luna
29:41Davy your husband had sex with
29:44me her sister's calling Luna David
29:48Anastasia your husband had sex with me
29:51and they're crying and and it was like a
29:54split in my Consciousness I understood
29:57that it was
29:59conceptual I understood he not he didn't
30:01rape them he didn't like invade himself
30:05but he manipulated with his Charisma to
30:09this is a sexual activity that's the
30:12healing uh and you will be God you know
30:16you will have Enlightenment you chosen
30:18you are blessed to have it with me and
30:20it was an ory with four different women
30:22two of them were
30:23sisters and to say the truth how [ __ ]
30:27up the situation was that I was in pain
30:30and Trauma already but I knew his good
30:33side his other the soul side and this is
30:36the problem and I always also a good
30:38side and that's what creates the
30:40illusion mind F and the confusion yeah
30:43and and side of me was like in shock in
30:47pain and suffer and grief and another
30:50side I went to Italy to protect him to
30:54stand by him and it was because if fell
30:58at the moment if it doesn't happen if I
31:00don't go he'll be ruined he will be
31:03ruined he will be put in jail because
31:05some husbands and boyfriends from polish
31:07side they were like already going to the
31:10police and start to report and I was
31:12like oh my God maybe orgy happened but
31:16it was with your agreeing to that I know
31:18he is not violent and I chose to go to
31:21Italy to protect him and you still did
31:24not see his manipulative side of how he
31:27went went into that no he was on his
31:29knees begging for forgiveness it will
31:31never happen again and I arrive to Italy
31:34and I take his phone because I'm I'm now
31:36obliged to I have the right show me your
31:39phone and I
31:41see texting texting with my friend at
31:44that moment from New York and I was like
31:47how could you looking into my face and
31:51your friend one of the one of the person
31:54who was receiving cap from me at that
31:57moment
31:58cap cap cap and then doing that behind
32:00my back and sending all of these like
32:03sexual videos
32:05pictures and H it was uh but you know it
32:10was like the more I was looking for it
32:13the more I was Finding as I was like in
32:15that drama pain addicted to find
32:19something painful so I stay in that for
32:22like one year and I was thinking
32:25Anastasia what should happen to you if I
32:26walk away like you know like
32:28subconsciously people who create
32:31recreate these experiences there is a
32:32part
32:33that attracting that right some side of
32:36it like why the [ __ ] did I stay in that
32:39for so
32:40long and
32:43um even in that phase in that moment in
32:47that uh um September October I came to
32:50Italy and I found the physical space for
32:55our asham that we found together m it
32:58was a beautiful um property on a 60
33:02hectares land it was just so beautiful
33:05and I gave him the idea you know I went
33:07to The aselin Institute in California
33:09and I was seeing the structure how they
33:11do it how Community people uh live there
33:14they pay a little bit of money they help
33:16it was a beautiful idea that uh was
33:19coming through me the inspiration let's
33:21do it we can create the shift people
33:23cooking and it was such a beautiful on
33:26the surface thing we were doing 30
33:29people lived with us yeah we were I
33:31remember cooking for 30 people like soup
33:33and stews and pasta and then we take
33:37turns and we clean and we reorganize
33:39redecorate and it was a PL to uh plant
33:43from Farm to the table it the idea was
33:47beautiful yeah and to the moment that I
33:49was even overstepping my own things when
33:52I was going on an intimate level with
33:54him yeah like it was a guru and his wife
33:58in the public right outside doing the
34:02classes whatever and when we go in the
34:05bedroom it's like narcissistic abuse and
34:09I'm crying and he's like you're 5 years
34:12old why you crying you're like you're
34:14like this 5-year-old girl girl the the
34:17it was like stepping over me to the
34:19point that I was uh my weight was 37
34:23kilog that I was dying inside and I was
34:27holding this space as a directing
34:30organizing in my masculine side which is
34:32not my side yeah and I was becoming more
34:34rigid and they were calling me General
34:36Bianca the white General oh that's
34:39my remember that's so far from you as
34:42you can
34:44come remember in the training me like
34:47with this like oh my God Angelic
34:49frequencies light the and I was like no
34:53regularly it's the um but this is what
34:55they do to you yes take parts of your
34:57Soul until you're
35:00completely so far away from yourself as
35:02you can possibly be yeah and you are so
35:05confused and
35:06you don't hear your intuition you don't
35:09hear your inner
35:12guidance you don't believe yourself you
35:14don't believe your guidance I was
35:16confused that maybe he's right because
35:18he was like you don't get it I love
35:21everyone and then he was like no please
35:23forgive me it will never happen again I
35:24want to stay with you just you and me it
35:27will will never happen again and so I
35:28believe it again MH and then things
35:31happen again he's uh um um having
35:35Affairs multiple on text messages and uh
35:39little did I know about narcissism how
35:41they are um sex addicts and he was a
35:44porn addict as well like it was his
35:47Drive I don't have anything against sex
35:50it's a beautiful thing when two people
35:51love each other but when you are
35:54actually being controlled by your lust
35:58and you cannot do anything about like
35:59you are lost and you like whatever
36:02whoever is here let me yeah this is a
36:06different story and um for so for like
36:09around six month when I was living in
36:12and out in the Ash and traveling a
36:14little bit but I
36:17was dead inside with no spark and
36:20thinking sometimes I think maybe he's
36:22right because he's more evolved and he
36:25don't have the boundaries because he's
36:26so expanded I am the one who doesn't get
36:29it and he was like you jealous that's
36:32why it keep repeats keeps repeating for
36:34you I'm the master and that class or
36:38that class that lesson is coming from me
36:41to you for you to little blocks in your
36:44mind to unpack and liberate
36:50convenient oh my God yeah oh and I
36:55remember in 2021 when I went alone to
36:57New York and I was in my energy serving
37:00with Kundalini with my people who were
37:02in New York and coming back to my
37:05Essence and having the insights
37:07especially exactly what you said when we
37:09are out of the their field yeah like
37:12almost there is no EG Gregor MH and you
37:15start hearing more of your guidance yeah
37:20and I remember seeing other couples
37:24examples of how things should be and can
37:26be mhm but what the heck I was I was not
37:30preparing myself for six seven years for
37:32this [ __ ] although it was visually
37:35beautiful everyone wanted to be on my
37:37place everyone wanted to be the Chosen
37:39and step over me so they would be with
37:42him but he would never leave me if I
37:44didn't leave him it was very convenient
37:47to keep doing things behind the closed
37:49doors what he was doing but keep keeping
37:52his wife as the secure cap security cap
37:56he's holy he's Divine he's married yeah
37:59he's so pure and it looks great for them
38:01to have a wife and even a child because
38:04they look normal that's the whole yeah
38:08you know Point behind cover up yeah and
38:10they keep doing what they doing and
38:12nothing stops them yeah and they can use
38:15you and you can use in my case the child
38:19to yeah for the cover up to their
38:21benefit they can play the victim and cry
38:23about you know pretend that you took the
38:26child away or whatever might be
38:28threatening yeah yeah yes pretend
38:32blackmailing yeah they they just yeah
38:34we're just puppets in their game that
38:36they're using MH yeah and you know my
38:39story I would say I was thinking like
38:41it's like huge but time went three years
38:44now and I've heard so many stories after
38:47me after my story would you say it
38:51escalated escalated to the point that I
38:54remember when I was leaving him and it
38:56was so difficult for me being an empath
38:58and connecting to his good side I was
39:01closing my eyes and I was feeling my
39:03pain but I understood I am going back to
39:05Italy to pack my luggage and it took me
39:08like 10 days I even got sick
39:10subconsciously to prolong that face
39:12because I knew if I leave it's forever I
39:14never go back so it kind of
39:16subconsciously like prolonged that phase
39:18I was in bad like almost dying in bad
39:22and I remember closing my eyes and
39:25feeling my pain opening my eyes and
39:28seeing his pain like a lost kitten he
39:31was so confused that I'm leaving finally
39:35uh and he told the community he said
39:37Luna Davi is leaving because Baba he
39:40Guru told shivananda Swami G to be in
39:42brahmacharya to be in a celibacy to
39:45withdraw from all sexual activity maybe
39:48even potentially to be uh in silence you
39:51know they take the aeic way to be in
39:54silence but it's BS BS BS he was uh
39:59having sex with uh multiple women even
40:02after he dropped me at the airport he
40:04went that day right after airport to
40:07have sex with another girl and I have
40:09text messages screenshots of the text
40:11messages and people are still like no no
40:13no see no and we don't go low we don't
40:17like hey this is a proof it's enough for
40:19me to see it to have it now and stand my
40:22two feet uh acknowledging all sides to
40:26go through this story
40:28but also
40:30feeling frustrating but at the same time
40:33I'm like also maybe like half the people
40:36of cap they were very sensitive even
40:38people outside and they just knew
40:40they're like it was enough that people
40:42started to believe and they were like I
40:44knew it I knew it like they had the
40:46intuition but they didn't want to
40:47believe it but that was enough and I
40:49didn't have to say anything people
40:51contacted me and they asked knew and
40:54then there's the people who still has to
40:56go through that I suppose and we just
40:58have to trust that yeah yeah even right
41:02now we are uh briefly was speaking about
41:05how it will go and uh reminding
41:09ourselves we are not doing it for people
41:13to change their minds because they if
41:15they need to go through this route they
41:17will but we cannot not speak and bring
41:20the truth for those who are still kind
41:23of in a threshold yeah and seeing so
41:26many people
41:28confused like this is my biggest thing
41:30now like so many people contacted me and
41:34I in the beginning I did not reach out
41:36to anyone uh cuz I still was not ready
41:39like even if I wanted to speak I
41:41couldn't cuz it was a whole mess you
41:43know it's like this and that and I would
41:45just cry and it's like it's not coming
41:47out clear I also knew that if I speak
41:50now people are going to think that I'm
41:53just this Revenge Revenge jealous
41:56jealous girlfriend and that's the game
41:58he was going to play you know he was
41:59going to tell that to people so I and he
42:02does I'm sure he does tell it I know he
42:04adjusts his story to whatever is needed
42:07in the moment you know yeah yeah you
42:09know to close my story uh and continue
42:13with yours uh it's the seriousness to
42:16the level of how many women were
42:18suffering after me yeah and to the point
42:21that uh a few weeks ago maybe one months
42:24ago I went online I was uh being
42:27interviewed with my testimony for the uh
42:30National TV in Italy speaking my truth
42:33because the movement started with some
42:36women in Italy going to court yeah and
42:39filing uh cases and there is an
42:41investigation going with FBI even about
42:45my ex shivananda Swami G you know
42:47somebody told me like uh maybe six
42:50months earlier about one YouTube video
42:53where one uh young woman from Tunisia
42:56has k killed her kid um due to whatever
43:00story with about my ex and 6 months ago
43:05I didn't tell you that about 6 months
43:07ago I thought no it's probably some
43:09people who are revenging and I was the
43:12one who were telling him be aware those
43:14people who are admiring and worshiping
43:15you right in front them same for me they
43:18would be in the same extreme hating you
43:21yeah be aware and and I was like this is
43:23probably those kind MH but then I saw
43:26the video and this woman is in jail
43:29testifying in front of Court MH and she
43:32was confused and manipulated that the
43:36world is finishing whatever he's using
43:38the narratives the world is ending and
43:41we need to save the souls we need to go
43:43to a sense so you have to save your kid
43:45something to kill the
43:48kid so it's the seriousness of that that
43:51level how can it accelerate yeah and
43:55it's it's it's going how
43:57would you say that he so he's without
44:01empathy right like classic narcissist
44:03and he does not even he does not care
44:05about these things he doesn't and he
44:07says I'm healing through sex whatever
44:09he's using so that's why a lot of women
44:11go in there like I'm going to be healed
44:13and I'm like what the [ __ ] you didn't
44:15heal me for six months when we had sex
44:18every day he traumatized every day how
44:21come I was not enlightened if he was so
44:23like healing through
44:25that so you went through this whole
44:27stage of you know yes
44:31being yeah drawn into that it escalated
44:34how many years were you in this
44:35relationship like one year and a half
44:37only one and a half and this all
44:39happened within this time oh wow and
44:41without therapy I could not I would not
44:43be able to come out because I was
44:46drowning confused lost I didn't have
44:49Suicidal Thoughts but you're like nobody
44:53understands you there were no woman on
44:56my out story when I was finishing and
44:58ending it that took my hand and said I
45:01got you sister I understand in the
45:03spiritual Community you know like I'm
45:05what are those yeah ideals like this
45:08interesting especially this is a big
45:11disappointment for me like the older
45:13woman who who you kind of expect should
45:17know better and you kind of expect them
45:20to be wiser and support you and those
45:24have been the worst I must say like they
45:26are like they don't even want to hear it
45:29they're like just blaming you for my God
45:32I know yeah I reached out to one lady
45:35who was and you love these people and
45:38you expect them to hear you out and
45:40understand and they just don't want to
45:42they just need to keep shut yeah I
45:45reached out to one lady kind of
45:47expecting I know known expect
45:49expectations but I was like you're older
45:51you're wiser you are much more in a
45:53spiritual path longer right more
45:56experienced yeah and I was like pouring
45:58my heart out saying what happened she's
46:01like yes yes yes yes yes yes and then
46:04she went to the asham and she with
46:06intention and expectation she would be
46:09the one next to him and for me it was
46:11like I told you how this person is and
46:16it doesn't change is the pattern yeah
46:19disappointment a little bit I
46:21mean yeah it's it's heartbreaking I did
46:25the same I told the the first person I
46:27told I had been told to leave my house
46:31so I was alone with my child and um I
46:35panicking like not knowing if I'm going
46:36to have money where we going to go not
46:38knowing anyone you know yes complete
46:41panic and there was this one of the
46:43trainers that I loved very much who I
46:47kind of resonated with a lot and I just
46:50could not see this coming and I tried to
46:54tell him to start telling him you know a
46:56little bit and in that moment you're
46:58like I was not going to tell anyone in
47:00that at that stage I was just like I
47:02thought I could really trust this person
47:03it's like who who do I tell that can
47:06kind of bring
47:07some support support yeah like yeah yeah
47:12and I tell this guy and he's like yeah
47:15um you should not talk about
47:17this uh and yeah we've been we've been
47:20dis I think he said something like we've
47:22been discussing you know his
47:24Darkness as well uh but you should not
47:27be talking about this because it's going
47:29to ruin
47:30cap and and that like H that has been
47:34very hard to forgive yeah it's like
47:36you're losing faith in humanity yeah and
47:39you're so scared to speak and that's
47:41what you get through the first P the
47:43first person you tell that was just
47:45heartbreaking like that week was just oh
47:48that's when hell started like luckily I
47:51had two other amazing woman who who had
47:55my back and who understood what was
47:58going on it was hard for them like
48:00they it's hard for anyone to realize to
48:03what extent this is happening you know
48:08to yeah it's really difficult to
48:10describe because in my case it was more
48:12like seeing the manipulation that's
48:14happening and you cannot really prove
48:17anything you know so it took a lot for
48:21people to actually like realize that
48:25open their minds to that but I would
48:27love you to also start from the
48:29beginning because yes when I came to cap
48:32I was admiring vant Wong how humble down
48:36to earth and I always used to joke that
48:40you know he's he's the teacher like
48:42Steve Jobs he wears the same shirt it's
48:45like have been in the laundry for like
48:4750 times you can see it's like not fresh
48:49but it's clean and he's like gave up the
48:52out like this worldly stuff and I
48:54admired that mhm and just went on I was
48:58never like in touch with you guys only
49:00with you a few times on the text
49:02messages but I was not depending I was
49:05free to go on my own and then I started
49:08to hear things yeah and in March of this
49:11year when I reached out to you and you
49:13told me your side of the story it was a
49:17punch in my stomach I was traumatized
49:19and I was I was disappointed of the
49:22teacher um that trained me you know and
49:27sadly to say the majority the collective
49:30Consciousness is still accepting the
49:34whatever they do on a human level it's
49:37okay it's the darkness the shitty part
49:39of the a human being it's not any great
49:41but the teachings are good the energy is
49:43beautiful it's helping it's healing it
49:45doesn't work that way I want to believe
49:48that there are people and uh people that
49:51are in a capacity to bring something
49:54phenomenal and magical like that but the
49:57human side is integrated yeah it's it's
50:00the congruent it's extremely unusual I
50:04would say people who go this like high
50:08this fast for the wrong
50:11reasons um I mean some people might not
50:14have a reason but we know in our cases
50:17that the intentions were bad from the
50:19start um it's yeah like they're being
50:22tested there comes a point where they're
50:24being tested and most people will fail
50:27that test money L power six and power
50:31it's like you go there and then your
50:34Temptations let me see how you will
50:36stand how you will in your higher self
50:40right and uh I don't think that either
50:43my ex or your ex um it enh it kind of
50:48like changed them the money changed them
50:50or the power changeed them I think they
50:52already had it it just enhanced what
50:55they already had kind of EXP loaded with
50:57all of this show the the truth in them
51:00and to the point that they didn't care
51:01they were eaten by their own Shadows
51:03that's how I see it it was always there
51:06the red flags were there from the start
51:08yeah but it just like completely took
51:11over and if we still agree as a
51:14collective if we don't uh make some
51:17action even this conversation right now
51:19is going to be exposed out there it's an
51:21action ready to see the change because
51:23if we don't we still agree to this
51:26normalizing it's okay you can be a saint
51:30but you can like you can have this holy
51:32work helping like Jesus Christ I don't
51:34know oh Jesus Christ we're going to
51:36speak about that too uh but I'm going to
51:39be like messed up as a human being
51:41creating the pain to like suffer what's
51:45the point then yeah what's the point
51:47it's going to repeat itself younger
51:49generation would be thinking like can do
51:50whatever you cannot keep in our work in
51:53cap in condol activation whatever you
51:56cannot keep your personality apart from
51:58the work the intention is everything if
52:01there's an impure intention we're no
52:03longer working with life force we're
52:05working with our own distortions and it
52:07will affect the people I had 200 people
52:11reaching out to me it's just not the
52:13same as it was in the beginning and I'm
52:16sure you can see this like absolutely
52:18that's why I'm like this is ke I don't
52:20know want to be associated with that no
52:21no no no no it's not what it was and
52:23people who come into it now they will
52:25never
52:27never experienced that
52:30Purity like it was just incredible and
52:33that's the whole reason I was so you
52:36know it was my whole life purpose to
52:37bring this to the world because of that
52:41like it had so much potential and I
52:44should start from the beginning yes
52:45please do yeah but um this was my second
52:49heartbreak you know first like breaking
52:51up but seeing that my relationship was
52:55based on manipulation and not love it
52:57was kind of like okay it it wasn't that
52:59bad I just needed to get out that was my
53:02whole like okay I just know I need to be
53:04free from this um seven years cigaret
53:07mhm seven years
53:10yeah yeah I'm I'm going to tell the
53:12story from the start because the first
53:14years was amazing it was you know they
53:16were red flags for sure there was
53:18triggers uh but um I was still very much
53:22going through my Awakening yes you know
53:24experience different level of
53:26Consciousness and just going really deep
53:29and and that was everything for me you
53:31know like to have that gift and this is
53:33the tricky bit you're still grateful to
53:36that person for that gift at the same
53:40time all credit should not go to him
53:42because I know a lot of it was also me I
53:45haven't realized this until now but own
53:48it girl yeah own it yeah and uh okay I I
53:53I go from the start okay uh so we met in
53:572017 here in Bali I went to a session
54:00with some girls who already did this
54:02kind of energy work and I didn't know he
54:04was going to be there so I just feel
54:06like there's a male energy working on me
54:09and it just like went it was very like I
54:13don't know what to call it like not
54:16aggressive but it was like intense
54:18intense very intense and I was like a
54:21little bit like oh what is this but uh
54:24there was like so much happening in my
54:25whole body as kind of went off um and um
54:31I knew nothing about this back then so
54:34uh he would be talking in such a way you
54:36know like he knew so much he had all
54:39this experience with transmission work
54:43um very confident like funny joking
54:46Charming all of these things it was not
54:48the kind of person I would be interested
54:50in and I I wasn't at the start but I was
54:55magnetized um and it was I suppose
54:58because of the energy and also you know
55:00the trauma bonding
55:02eventually um and I knew nothing about
55:05this at the time and
55:08um so from there it was just like like I
55:13told you earlier it's like this amazing
55:16time amazing time of connecting to
55:19Source just having all these amazing
55:22experiences you start having dreams you
55:24have this you live in this
55:26fantasy world really and still looking
55:30back that was like the best time of my
55:32life and start to explore you know the
55:35nity and yes explore these
55:39Realms and um also yes like it felt like
55:45finding magic and you're like this is
55:47going to help the world like that's
55:50everything it becomes everything because
55:53you can see like a few years ahead this
55:55is just kind of like
55:56take over and it is in a way it is
55:59happening but in a different way maybe
56:01than expected anyway um so yeah I get
56:05more and more involved eventually we get
56:09together I was resisting it for a long
56:11time but somehow you know he managed to
56:15get
56:16me
56:18um and looking back at that it felt
56:23like being groomed in into a
56:26relationship pretty much I yeah looking
56:31back it's like my body knew my intuition
56:33knew like sexually I could not surrender
56:36at all I was just like freezing and um
56:40you know our sex life was really bad my
56:42body knew from the start and yeah
56:45looking back it's like intuitively I
56:48knew that this is not you know right or
56:52my person it took me about a year to
56:54start to trust him like he man managed
56:56to turn he turned everything against me
56:59you know like it's because your heart is
57:01not open it's this and that and and you
57:04just trust them because you know they
57:07they know of course H you see them as
57:09your teacher and yeah oh my God uh so
57:13yeah so we had a couple of years
57:15together it was amazing we would travel
57:16the world we would offer this work it
57:18started to grow people just showed up we
57:21didn't have to do anything people just
57:22kind of showed up uh or and just you
57:25know seeing people
57:27like H you know it was helping so many
57:30people like those years the first I
57:33would say three four years was just pure
57:36magic and he would always you know have
57:39me sitting next to him H always kind of
57:43yeah just have me there um and then
57:47under covid in
57:492020 we did a training a level one
57:52training and then I got pregnant and um
57:57yeah so we were about to have a child
57:59and this is where it started to shift
58:02because this is also classic I know this
58:04now I didn't know back then that you
58:07know when a narcissistic
58:09personality when they're having a child
58:12then the you know the attention is away
58:16from them and on the child so I started
58:18to experience how he was kind of passive
58:20aggressive I remember being seven month
58:23pregnant we went over to Costa Rica to
58:25live there to have a base and um you
58:27know we didn't really have anywhere to
58:29go on the covid so we ended up
58:31there and I remember coming there and I
58:35was like up all night having anxiety
58:38attacks in the bathroom just like crying
58:40because he would be angry with me or not
58:42speaking to me and I didn't know why and
58:45you know he wouldn't answer why he
58:49wouldn't yeah so there was all these
58:50little weird things but it was not
58:53happening we had some of those kind of
58:55like
58:57because I was so accommodating we didn't
58:59have a lot of issues you know as long as
59:01I was just following him it was okay but
59:04there was a few times where I would
59:05point out that he cannot do this and I
59:08was complaining sometimes how he was
59:10mixing um his interests you know being
59:14interested in people in our workshops
59:15and he couldn't mix that with work you
59:18know he had to keep that out of so there
59:20was some of these clashes that happened
59:21like red flags even from the start there
59:24was this girl that accused him for
59:25things
59:26um I still feel very bad uh today that I
59:29didn't listen to her and didn't because
59:32I know now what that feels like so that
59:35that came back to me you know um but he
59:39managed to make me believe that they
59:40were crazy or dis that you know they're
59:43just going through the trauma and all
59:45kinds of stuff so there were these
59:46scenarios every now and then throughout
59:49these years but most of the time it was
59:50only us you know 247 he asked us and I
59:54asked more and more started to trust him
59:57and and just wanted to support him so um
1:00:01we had the
1:00:04baby and about six weeks after so this
1:00:08was an amazing time being pregnant
1:00:10giving like home yeah yeah div beautiful
1:00:15like ah really as like a highlight in my
1:00:19life so that of course took over all the
1:00:22attention and uh six weeks after we had
1:00:26p
1:00:26real he would just kind of go away into
1:00:30his room and never come back out it was
1:00:33like and he said he feels like um you
1:00:37know he feels like it's taking away from
1:00:39his mission uh he just feels like a
1:00:42provider he you know all these things
1:00:46and I would be very upset you know about
1:00:50doing it on my own like I didn't expect
1:00:53having to do it on my own and his
1:00:55approach were like you know the mother
1:00:57is taking care of the baby the father
1:00:59comes in when they're like six maybe and
1:01:02uh months uh
1:01:06years and te start to teach them things
1:01:08and I'm like okay but your son is not
1:01:10going to know you when he's sleep
1:01:12deprivation hello you have an infant yes
1:01:16you need to rest I was up all night you
1:01:18know just like trying to put him back to
1:01:20bed waking up every two hours I was
1:01:22alone in a house with no car I was like
1:01:24you know 24/7 just like honestly bored
1:01:28you would go psycho yeah yeah yeah I did
1:01:30go psycho and then I would get blamed
1:01:32for getting angry and it was you know it
1:01:35was not him it was me and I was
1:01:39completely
1:01:41desperate but I also listened to him so
1:01:46I
1:01:47didn't I I got angry a lot I started to
1:01:49be more and more Angry like and I never
1:01:52get angry so that started to come up and
1:01:55um
1:01:56sometimes I just had to like you know
1:01:58just take him I need to go to the back
1:02:00of the house and just scream and I would
1:02:02just
1:02:03like and he he didn't care he didn't
1:02:07care he would just be like oh my God
1:02:10like and also like you changed when you
1:02:12had a baby you
1:02:15um uh yeah I like I liked you more when
1:02:18you were quiet he didn't like that I was
1:02:20playing with him and like you know being
1:02:22a
1:02:22mother um so that started to happen
1:02:26and um of course in the trainings he
1:02:29would like hold him up and show him off
1:02:31and um and I my God yeah I know now that
1:02:37he struggled with a connection he
1:02:39couldn't connect to Rio like he he
1:02:42didn't know what to do with him uh and I
1:02:46feel sorry for him for
1:02:48that um but at the same
1:02:52time yeah I I still don't know I still
1:02:55don't know exactly
1:02:57like I know he cannot feel love as we
1:03:01feel love
1:03:04um so yeah from the childhood when
1:03:08mothers are not giving the proper love
1:03:10right we don't we can blame but we we we
1:03:13are the ones who were dealing with the
1:03:15the outcome of all of the stories we
1:03:17have you I have you have Pro everybody
1:03:19in the world have some issues with their
1:03:21parents but then some extreme situations
1:03:24create the Psychopathic behavior that in
1:03:28a pattern harms a lot of
1:03:30people yeah so yeah this is where
1:03:33everything started to shift and um I
1:03:37would say that's also around the time
1:03:40the energy started to be
1:03:42twisted um because um you know there had
1:03:47been this whole thing about him wanting
1:03:49to be in an open relationship from the
1:03:51start
1:03:52and I was It was a constant overstep of
1:03:56my boundaries like I didn't want to but
1:03:59I was talked into it and I agreed to it
1:04:02in the beginning and then I didn't want
1:04:03anymore we took a break like both of you
1:04:06can go and have some relationship on the
1:04:08side well I
1:04:10couldn't he could but if I would even
1:04:14speak of a man that I spoke to you know
1:04:17he would be very angry with me so I
1:04:19didn't dare to I didn't sorry how is it
1:04:21open relationship that's not an open
1:04:22relationship but you know his whole view
1:04:25of this is that he's the teacher he's
1:04:27the god
1:04:29realized he um you know he can have all
1:04:33these woman uh but they should not have
1:04:35any other men because that's impure you
1:04:38know um anyway uh so discontinued and
1:04:43you know he would talk about these
1:04:45things but I was accepting him like it's
1:04:50okay you know if if that's who you are
1:04:52if you want to have open
1:04:54relationships um you know I can I can
1:04:58support that if if that's who you are
1:05:00you know cuz we always came to a point
1:05:03where I didn't want to do it and then he
1:05:07would be like okay it's okay then we
1:05:09don't do it but he knew that if he would
1:05:12say that I would be like oh no you know
1:05:14it's who you are okay of course it's
1:05:15against your ideals right be true to who
1:05:19you are yeah so the first year has a
1:05:22constant push over your boundaries and
1:05:25so much um you know processing but even
1:05:29this he would use against me because he
1:05:31would say you know it's the hardest
1:05:33thing you can do it's going to make you
1:05:34grow and this and that so I did it for
1:05:38growth because that's my he knew that's
1:05:41my
1:05:42biggest thing in life like I just want
1:05:45to grow I just want to expand I just
1:05:46want to go deeper yeah and so he would
1:05:49use that as a reason you know that you
1:05:51have to go through this and and this is
1:05:54how it is and he would use his his
1:05:55teacher Adidas an
1:05:58example uh of you know how it works and
1:06:01that's that's a story in itself you know
1:06:03because that also had a lot of um you
1:06:05know yeah anyway um okay I'm sorry where
1:06:11do we go next in this story there's so
1:06:12much but okay so we had Rio then there
1:06:17was a request like people wanted more
1:06:20and V it was really bored he didn't he
1:06:23wasn't really interested in Contin in
1:06:26like doing anap we didn't really do any
1:06:29um and I was like I just wanted to do
1:06:32more uh of course it's
1:06:35like my whole life right it's like it
1:06:37doesn't compute in my mind when I came
1:06:40to the story it was phenomenal
1:06:43experience Collective Liberation the
1:06:46good cause you do for the humanity it's
1:06:48not just a group here group
1:06:50there he was bored he didn't want to
1:06:53continue doing that work from quite
1:06:55early on so I I made him do level two
1:06:58because people kept asking like we want
1:07:01more is there going to be more and
1:07:03eventually we created this level
1:07:06two and uh in this training everything
1:07:12shifted
1:07:14um see my mind is a little bit like in
1:07:17what order do this happen but yeah so so
1:07:21in that training it shifted and I was
1:07:24put on the side I was no longer you know
1:07:27next to him obviously he had always been
1:07:30doing the talking but we had been equals
1:07:32in like doing the energy work um and I
1:07:37was kind of put on the side and he would
1:07:39explore this different thing and he did
1:07:41more of
1:07:42the you know doing the eye gazing to the
1:07:45crowd and this is when everything
1:07:47shifted and the energy was different
1:07:52and people would be you know kind of
1:07:54forced to bow
1:07:56and it was all this um yeah and I too I
1:07:59was like in a full like body potion been
1:08:02I know that I've been there same
1:08:04yeah and um I know now that a lot of
1:08:09people were repelled by this I didn't
1:08:12know it back then yeah um but it was to
1:08:14my disappointment you know when I've
1:08:16heard from someone who attended level
1:08:18two how um when I came to the picture it
1:08:21was uh simple down to earth very humble
1:08:25teacher that I loved and was also just
1:08:30um pretense that was never real but
1:08:34that's how we all perceived it then
1:08:35people put him on a pedestal and he
1:08:37didn't mind and they started to Bow him
1:08:39and I'm like this like my ex I've been
1:08:41through this story before no no no the
1:08:43energy the people that right now the
1:08:45Consciousness it's old school nobody
1:08:47needs it no and the reason everything
1:08:50everyone was so amazed and came to cap
1:08:52is because it was not like that yes
1:08:54because it's just open and free you can
1:08:57go and do whatever you want and it's uh
1:08:59yeah um so yeah that was but of course
1:09:03like at this point we're so far
1:09:06in um yeah so it was we were amazed we
1:09:10like wow what is this you know but now
1:09:13looking back I can see the shift for at
1:09:16least for me I did not resonate with
1:09:19this but I try to make myself resonate
1:09:22with it uh and a lot of people have
1:09:25shared this with me as well they're like
1:09:28what's going on okay I just do what
1:09:30everyone else is doing and and they kind
1:09:31of like group pressure yeah yeah yeah uh
1:09:34I think from hearing from people like
1:09:3680% of people felt this at some point
1:09:39like some people were like about to
1:09:41leave and we had no idea like I was
1:09:43living in this little bubble where I
1:09:45thought everything is amazing and now
1:09:47looking back of how the energy shifted
1:09:49there and it became about this it became
1:09:52about him you know being
1:09:55God mhm
1:09:58um I felt that I thought I was going
1:10:02deep into the energy but I weren't
1:10:04really not like I did in the beginning
1:10:06that was a whole different thing it was
1:10:09still so pure you went so deep H but
1:10:12here it's like quite a you know it's up
1:10:15here it's like a superficial experience
1:10:17and you have an experience of light H
1:10:21and you have this like uh yeah you just
1:10:25like experience God in a way
1:10:29but looking back it's like what did it
1:10:32really shift in me what did that do for
1:10:34me what I saw in people was that they
1:10:36became addicted to that and when they
1:10:39went back home they had a fall and this
1:10:41can naturally happen you know in
1:10:43spirituality we all know that going
1:10:44through the highs and the lows but this
1:10:46was different people were like I don't I
1:10:49no longer feel any joy in life like I
1:10:52see no reason to live there was like oh
1:10:55this um and this I didn't know about
1:10:58this until this year obviously like I
1:11:00had no idea about what people were going
1:11:02through to come up yeah so it turned
1:11:06into more like he became hungry for
1:11:09something it was no longer just about
1:11:11the work it was like he wanted the
1:11:14admiration he started to be interested
1:11:17in the girls
1:11:19and everything I found out this year you
1:11:22know is like apparently he was with
1:11:25someone in one of the trainings when I
1:11:26wasn't there cuz my son was sick and
1:11:29then he would tell me about it and
1:11:31pretend that it hadn't already happened
1:11:33and then he would go and see her and
1:11:36sleep with her and I knew about this but
1:11:38I had a son who was I can't remember a
1:11:41year Max so like I
1:11:44couldn't I had no choice you know but I
1:11:47I
1:11:48couldn't fight it like I I was just
1:11:52desperate with my sons who was very sick
1:11:54and I was like home crying scared he was
1:11:56going to you know something was going to
1:11:58happen to him uh which was very
1:12:01convenient because he could do whatever
1:12:02he wanted in the trainings and um a lot
1:12:06of girls lot okay I'm
1:12:08gonna
1:12:10two two specifically very pure beautiful
1:12:14beings have reached out to me since that
1:12:16training because he tried to approach
1:12:17them as well and he was in contact with
1:12:19them after and they have just expressed
1:12:23like being very very overwhelmed because
1:12:26he would work on them a lot like put
1:12:28them into like an orgasmic State and
1:12:30this whole um thing and he would
1:12:33favoritee people and everyone saw this
1:12:35you know everyone knew in a way and they
1:12:39just thought that that's how it
1:12:41is uh but yeah so these kind of weird
1:12:44things stting to happen I found out you
1:12:46know so after we broke up this is when
1:12:49all of this I found out about all of
1:12:51this because no one would tell me
1:12:53before uh and I find out that he had
1:12:56invited someone to come to our house in
1:12:58exchange for level two and all these
1:13:00kind of
1:13:02things um so yeah there's like all these
1:13:04stories there's like million stories
1:13:06like this and um yeah so this started to
1:13:09happen but yeah at the time I didn't
1:13:12know much about it except for the things
1:13:15he was honest to me with you know honest
1:13:18with yeah but there would still be like
1:13:20from the start there was always lies
1:13:22around it it's like it was never open
1:13:25and it was always lying denying until I
1:13:28found out and then he would like cry
1:13:30about it and and play the victim and and
1:13:33fix it you know the narcissist copy
1:13:36paste manual same story yeah yeah so uh
1:13:41okay so where are we in my story it's
1:13:44it's a lot but let's just do the
1:13:46highlights uh so we get to a point last
1:13:51year where we had a training in Portugal
1:13:54and he meets a woman there who kind of
1:13:56fell in love with him we go to Iza and
1:13:59they start to sing each other and at
1:14:02this
1:14:04point I started to see things and naive
1:14:08as I was I would tell him I'm like this
1:14:10is not who you are like this's darkness
1:14:13in your eye I would tell him like this
1:14:14is not venant like yeah who are you but
1:14:18I realize now that it was just him
1:14:20finally revealing
1:14:22himself uh and I would tell him this and
1:14:25he knew that I had seen through him and
1:14:26he's like you don't see God in Me H like
1:14:30you're just not there yet and he would
1:14:32start to you know with a devaluation he
1:14:34has put me down and belittle me and he
1:14:37told me to deal with it or get the [ __ ]
1:14:40out um and at this point you know having
1:14:44a child being financially dependent
1:14:46emotionally dependent I did you have the
1:14:50did you like how many trainings you did
1:14:52for like in five years that I know it's
1:14:55it's a very expensive training for one
1:14:57person you had like 30 people 50 people
1:14:59did you have the support the financial
1:15:01goes to your supporting your child at
1:15:03you no no it's like when I run out of
1:15:05money I put a little bit on my account
1:15:07and that was that and then I run out
1:15:08again and he would put a little bit and
1:15:10I didn't really spend any money because
1:15:12I was staying with him you know in our
1:15:14house you know it was just
1:15:16food yeah so I obviously I could like I
1:15:20could shop a little bit I could buy
1:15:22things uh but I never had my money and I
1:15:26was working for him you know like I mean
1:15:29because of you it exploded expanded and
1:15:32grew to the level it was growing
1:15:34attracting all of these women to the
1:15:37organization because you were doing a
1:15:38lot of work I know but is uh financially
1:15:42the the compensation and
1:15:46uh like direct question when you left
1:15:49with Rio you love that story are is he
1:15:53responsible for the Financial providing
1:15:56the support being a
1:15:58father well yes and no so he said um
1:16:02because I kept asking him like what am I
1:16:04going to do like I don't even know if I
1:16:05can afford having a living next month
1:16:07like you need we need to figure
1:16:09something out and he's like don't worry
1:16:11I'll support you but it was very like
1:16:14because he was being so dismissive he
1:16:15would just say that but nothing would be
1:16:17sorted you know so I just panicked more
1:16:20and more and eventually I realized that
1:16:24I'm in a very Danger ous position I need
1:16:25to support you know my son and uh I
1:16:29couldn't leave the country because of
1:16:31the loss in Costa Rica when you have a
1:16:33child there you need a father's
1:16:34permission so I couldn't leave the
1:16:36country I didn't know if I was going to
1:16:39be supported for sure you know we I just
1:16:41had his word yeah but nothing happened
1:16:43with that so uh eventually I went to a
1:16:47lawyer to get some kind of agreement and
1:16:52uh it took a long time to
1:16:55to sort this out ask for help for your
1:16:59leaving situation having a child yeah
1:17:02and he expected me to take care of the
1:17:04child uh so I didn't really like
1:17:07suddenly I was a single
1:17:10mother yes like not knowing where to go
1:17:13obviously it was a difficult time for
1:17:15real ah mhm
1:17:26yeah how is it on that level of God
1:17:30realized
1:17:31Master having lack of the connection and
1:17:35basic fundamental manly things to do is
1:17:40a duty it doesn't matter who you are it
1:17:43can be a saint basic fundamental
1:17:46providing for your child you can have
1:17:48[ __ ] up situation with the mother of
1:17:50the child but you are obliged to provide
1:17:54and support yeah if you are that Holy so
1:17:57yeah it's it's incredible and and and he
1:18:00was in a high at this point you know he
1:18:01had his new girlfriend he was just like
1:18:06realizing that he can get all these
1:18:07skills so that was his main focus that
1:18:10you know who is he gonna be with next
1:18:13conveyor yeah yeah and that's all he was
1:18:16focusing on like he was not even we were
1:18:19not in his mind at all uh so while I'm
1:18:22panicking eventually I went to this
1:18:25lawyer had to pay all this money and you
1:18:28know my last money that I had I had to
1:18:31put into a lawyer and I was just in
1:18:35grief you know in confusion in grief not
1:18:37knowing like is it good is it bad what's
1:18:40happening uh so it was just a state of
1:18:42like my nervous system hadn't really
1:18:44been calm in since I had my child really
1:18:47it was just you know
1:18:49constantly H so I had been like anxious
1:18:52depressed for such a long time and then
1:18:55out of the energy and everything is kind
1:18:57of starting to
1:18:59clear it's just it's like it's that was
1:19:03the most traumatizing time uh and
1:19:08I yeah so obviously the this mother
1:19:11instinct kicks in so you just like yeah
1:19:15that's why I just went to a lawyer
1:19:17luckily in Costa Rica it's hard to find
1:19:19a reliable one luckily I found someone
1:19:22who were like caring a lot about
1:19:24children they just wanted to help me in
1:19:27Rio and um they were yeah they were
1:19:30helping me in a very beautiful way they
1:19:32could have completely tricked me you
1:19:34know uh that happens a lot but um yeah I
1:19:38was very lucky to find them and they
1:19:40asked like they knew his type as soon as
1:19:44I told them they're like we know this
1:19:45type exactly we know how they work um
1:19:49and we don't want people like this in
1:19:51our country so we're going to help you
1:19:54um so I was just very very lucky and we
1:19:56suggested this agreement with him to pay
1:19:59for 5 years of child support and then he
1:20:04could you know be free from it all
1:20:05because that's what it seems like he
1:20:08wanted you know like he didn't really
1:20:10care he has told us to go and I I
1:20:15couldn't go because I couldn't leave the
1:20:16country so I was you know I was stuck
1:20:18yeah so it this went on for so long and
1:20:20this was such stress that this was just
1:20:23like also the reason I didn't talk to
1:20:25anyone because I was scared that it was
1:20:27going to ruin this kind of agreement and
1:20:30I needed to figure it out for me and my
1:20:32son before I could focus on anything
1:20:34else uh so yeah so we um I came to a
1:20:39point where my anger started to come I
1:20:41woke up one morning and also the the
1:20:44male trainer that I spoke about earlier
1:20:47was involved with helping him with a
1:20:49lawyer and the level level one mhm uh
1:20:53yeah yeah so so and then I started to
1:20:56hear stories about him as well what he
1:20:59like relationships he had had with
1:21:01different students and in a organization
1:21:04how he yeah yeah uh and there was you
1:21:08know there was just so much at the same
1:21:10time it was like too much in
1:21:14relationship well I suppose they were
1:21:16open or yeah but still it's the teacher
1:21:20student relationship yeah and this was
1:21:22not one person and it was like girl of
1:21:24the girl who would contact me and tell
1:21:26me things um but he would shut it down
1:21:29just like threatening with lawyers and
1:21:31then it got all shut down and this was
1:21:34just such yeah this was just such a big
1:21:38I loved him so much like oh and I still
1:21:41love him so much and I I see you
1:21:45know yeah
1:21:47anyway
1:21:49um yeah that just made me like H the
1:21:52disappointment you know and he would
1:21:54just R me out to vant and um so yeah
1:21:57there was these whole things so I I just
1:21:59woke up this morning and he started to
1:22:01like oh put this up on Instagram you
1:22:03know he started to tell me to do things
1:22:05and I was just like furious at that
1:22:08point it's like you have no idea what
1:22:11I'm going through like I'm struggling to
1:22:13you know to figure out my [ __ ] life
1:22:16here and you're telling me to post a
1:22:19video of you on Instagram like or his
1:22:22wife or whatever it was and and yeah
1:22:26that was just a point where I was
1:22:27blocking him everywhere and like never
1:22:29speak to me again uh like this is yeah
1:22:33because I realized that he had only ever
1:22:35been nice to me because he was sucking
1:22:38up like as he does to venant you know
1:22:41and um and the whole thing I think with
1:22:44the level one uh bringing all these
1:22:46different people into the training it's
1:22:49like feeding the aggregor of cap the
1:22:51aggregor the energetical structure with
1:22:54it's not just feeding that energy to the
1:22:56descending to the people it's also the
1:22:59filtration of the people the Persona the
1:23:01identity going back to that and then it
1:23:04spread out to everyone who is in
1:23:05organization so it's already like oh
1:23:09going into the route it's not spiritual
1:23:11proper not a spiritual propriety no in a
1:23:14way that in a virtue of ethics and the
1:23:17high
1:23:18morals no it's just all
1:23:21wrong H and you know to to find out
1:23:25about all of this is just traumatizing
1:23:27in itself but then yeah I had this anger
1:23:30and uh eventually it was just you know
1:23:34full on colly
1:23:36R and I would
1:23:39just under this time he had asked a
1:23:42woman to come over to his house and I
1:23:45knew about this and um I didn't really
1:23:48care oops I didn't really care I just
1:23:51wanted to sort my situation and I I
1:23:54didn't know know maybe she's interested
1:23:55maybe she's not like I wasn't sure this
1:23:58woman oh [ __ ] amazing she saw through
1:24:01him so he tells her to come over uh to
1:24:04because she has potential I saw the
1:24:07messages like that's what he told her uh
1:24:11and she admired him so much she just
1:24:14wanted to come and learn and she's like
1:24:15oh my God what an opportunity maybe I
1:24:17can become a TR with pure intention
1:24:20exactly and um that whole week was just
1:24:25him manipulating her into sleeping with
1:24:27him uh you know working on her working
1:24:30on her heart doing exactly you know what
1:24:33he thinks works for her to sleep with
1:24:36him and become his girlfriend H because
1:24:39this was the whole goal like he knew
1:24:41exactly which woman he was going to go
1:24:43for uh and she was one of them and um so
1:24:47she was quite traumatized coming out of
1:24:49that it ended up with a big fight she
1:24:51contacted me and while like Oh I'm a bad
1:24:53devote and this and that and I'm like no
1:24:57like what the [ __ ] is this like what
1:25:00happened
1:25:01um and and naturally I would share my
1:25:05story with her so she would know that
1:25:07she's not crazy you know yeah um and I I
1:25:11regret so much that I didn't tell her
1:25:13you know before not to go um that's also
1:25:16like a big guilt but in those situations
1:25:18you know I did a lot of things wrong at
1:25:20the time but it's it is what it is yeah
1:25:24um um and and actually her sharing with
1:25:28me um how he manipulated her like and he
1:25:33would like he would use me he would be
1:25:35like a SE was so open to relationships
1:25:37she was like you know having these uh
1:25:41God experiences where she would sleep
1:25:43with me and yeah he would tell her
1:25:45things like this then the next what did
1:25:47you no well because of the energy not
1:25:52because of him and also because of I I
1:25:54had more experien on with him
1:25:59yeah
1:26:00um and
1:26:04um yeah also you know at the time I was
1:26:07you know just trying to please him
1:26:08really like anyway uh so this was so
1:26:13helpful and she saw through him so she
1:26:15would start asking things yes to test
1:26:17him and and then realize more and more
1:26:19that he has nothing to offer me he just
1:26:22wants to sleep with me and she's [ __ ]
1:26:25bright like she oh I just love her and
1:26:28she would be the first person the first
1:26:30woman who would defend me like I'm
1:26:33forever grateful to her cuz someone saw
1:26:37it and
1:26:38someone were like we [ __ ] love cig
1:26:42how can you do this to her and she would
1:26:45yeah she would defend me so I can
1:26:47imagine how important it was for you for
1:26:49the first step for the feeling the fresh
1:26:51breath of the hope that you can get out
1:26:54because because your organization grew
1:26:56to the level of like how many like
1:26:58thousand of people you trained maybe 500
1:27:00500 but then it's all of them and you
1:27:03alone who would who would there's a
1:27:06master who would trust you who would
1:27:07believe you exactly and and you know
1:27:11sudden but it was actually a lot of
1:27:13people obviously I did not tell anyone I
1:27:15didn't dare to in the beginning but a
1:27:17lot of people um actually did believe me
1:27:21I would say 95% of the people who
1:27:23actually spoke to me some have just
1:27:25ignored it but afterwards yeah but the
1:27:28people who spoke to me they were like
1:27:30you know like don't worry like I believe
1:27:32you and I was like really you know yeah
1:27:34and they were like I'm not surprised I I
1:27:37can totally see this you know so that
1:27:40was kind of like comforting in a way
1:27:43that people actually believed me yeah
1:27:46yeah and I realized more and more that
1:27:48they going to believe me so that was and
1:27:50you know it's interesting thing to
1:27:52mention that I know part of the people
1:27:54who would be watching they would be
1:27:55thinking oh it's just traumatized people
1:27:57that are drawn naturally to this
1:27:59narcissist right they like kind of
1:28:01recreate and attract and they do them
1:28:04that by
1:28:06themselves uh like how how didn't you
1:28:09know like how didn't you feel it was
1:28:12wrong blah blah blah blah blah and to
1:28:15say to defense that when you are coming
1:28:19with a pure intention with believing in
1:28:21the high morals in that Purity you you
1:28:24don't have tools to survive and get
1:28:27out that experience you are not equipped
1:28:31because it was not in the map of the
1:28:33Consciousness no and I was brainwashed
1:28:37to think that I'm here to serve him and
1:28:40I'm going to be with him for the rest of
1:28:42my life and that's that no matter what
1:28:45exactly I asked him once like okay so we
1:28:47can wake up every morning and you're
1:28:48going to just slap me in the face and
1:28:50I'm going to be okay with it he's like
1:28:52yeah yeah
1:28:54yeah but um yeah I'm I'm touching on a
1:28:59lot of different things at the same time
1:29:00but um this woman was a Breaking Point
1:29:03like and this started to come out and
1:29:05people were like what is going on
1:29:08um and uh are we out of time should we
1:29:12no no we don't good we're rolling yeah
1:29:15and uh this woman was repeat that again
1:29:17like yeah so this woman uh came there
1:29:20for a week and got home and realized
1:29:23that this is just crazy like all he
1:29:25wanted was to sleep with me and um at
1:29:28the same
1:29:29time he had his other girlfriend who
1:29:32apparently broke up there was all this
1:29:34there was the whole mess um and the day
1:29:38that she leaves he reaches out to
1:29:40another girl that he knows is's in Costa
1:29:42Rica this same day she leaves yesterday
1:29:45like try with the next one uh so it was
1:29:48just a bunch of stuff like this like
1:29:50every four days I would say there was a
1:29:53new thing you heard something new had
1:29:54happened and this and this from the past
1:29:57and from now and it just escalated
1:30:00completely and
1:30:04um
1:30:06yeah okay let me go back to so when this
1:30:09happened uh regarding your question
1:30:11about the the money uh and if he would
1:30:15support me so um I came to a point here
1:30:18with the
1:30:20rage uh and I have told him that the
1:30:24with this now cuz he was ignoring me
1:30:25because he had this woman over and this
1:30:28male trainer I told him this as well but
1:30:30he would just ignore it and now you
1:30:32know yeah now he blames us for not
1:30:35telling people but it's like you didn't
1:30:37want to hear me like oh that was the
1:30:39whole thing anyway uh so um yeah I told
1:30:44him yes like deal with this or I will
1:30:48tell people you you had to I had to
1:30:51think to that level I I understand to
1:30:54like yeah oh yeah and surv fun but it's
1:30:59what I had to do you didn't have a
1:31:00choice no don't blame yourself for that
1:31:03no no it's actually I'm so grateful for
1:31:06that rage that came up with me like it
1:31:08saved us because then he would go and
1:31:10meet me finally and we would sign the
1:31:12papers and he didn't seem to care about
1:31:15giving him away the custody of his son
1:31:18it was just the money that was like an
1:31:20issue but yeah so I got an amount so
1:31:23we're safe for for a while and now we
1:31:25can start over so that was a blessing in
1:31:28a way that that that went
1:31:31through
1:31:33um yeah so yeah let's focus on the
1:31:38highlights of this
1:31:42um
1:31:44so I guess uh I know the resonance and
1:31:48you and me are so passionate and
1:31:52compassionate and connecting with each
1:31:55human that comes to our classes like
1:31:58genuinely sincerely want to help and
1:32:01seeing their Liberation and expansion
1:32:03and releases and I just canot feel them
1:32:07not stop no doing that
1:32:10work and to know that venon did not was
1:32:15bored with that didn't want to continue
1:32:17it talks a lot about human who even
1:32:19started that it's good that because he
1:32:21does not care about people at all no one
1:32:24not even I didn't think that I knew this
1:32:27about him that he does not like to have
1:32:30people around and and this and that but
1:32:32it's not like he's sitting at home and
1:32:34being you know meditating or anything
1:32:36he's
1:32:37just on YouTube you know like it's uh
1:32:41avoiding his wife and his son and you
1:32:44know figuring out how he
1:32:47can have more of them it's like as if
1:32:50they are hooked to The Entity or
1:32:53whatever some people were tell me that
1:32:55there's dark force that working through
1:32:57and whatever it is some people can
1:32:59really psychically tune and they
1:33:02feel um but it does feel like something
1:33:06is working through with addiction to
1:33:09keep it coming that energy and it's in
1:33:12ignorance it's not in a satvic uh divine
1:33:16blessing elevating the Consciousness
1:33:18it's like kind addiction the pattern
1:33:21that in a lower frequency yeah energy
1:33:24works right the people having some
1:33:25experiences but the people who are
1:33:30feeling the quality of the energy they
1:33:33know the difference yeah and they don't
1:33:35want to go back and uh I wholeheartedly
1:33:40uh encourage our Collective Humanity
1:33:44Consciousness to start paying attention
1:33:47whom you giving your vessel to do the
1:33:49energy work who is this person I was
1:33:51married to a guru and I'm saying I care
1:33:54any longer a guru a saint a teacher
1:33:57Still Human are as a human being first I
1:34:01don't care you you might not be in
1:34:03spirituality if you're good human
1:34:06basic it's beautiful it's inspiring you
1:34:09don't have to go in meditation to the
1:34:11caves to be a good human being with
1:34:13Capital H exactly and that's the problem
1:34:17with these people because they ignore
1:34:18their Shadow side and they don't really
1:34:20care and it's just taking over the more
1:34:23admiration you know that they get and
1:34:26attention and they realize that they can
1:34:30do this and they can get away with it
1:34:32the more it just like
1:34:34spreads that's you know it's interesting
1:34:36how maybe last year I was watching the
1:34:38documentary about yogan no Yogi Bajan
1:34:42recently uh with Breath of Fire with
1:34:44Guru jagat story Kundalini Yoga I was
1:34:48watching O show documentary and the BAM
1:34:50yoga yeah it's like a lot of
1:34:52similarities and people claim their rape
1:34:54cases etc etc but how bizarre it is like
1:34:59one to one a manual on when they
1:35:02masculine figures are getting to the top
1:35:04and they being temp tempted with the
1:35:07seduced like can you with withhold your
1:35:11core and not to like fall down
1:35:14here uh and so many women are being hurt
1:35:17and embarrassed to speak up and then
1:35:20they kind of canell the guru uh Bajan
1:35:24Yogi Bajan who brought up Kundalini Yoga
1:35:27to the west and the organization even
1:35:30removed his name right it's already like
1:35:34started to happen yeah and uh it's not
1:35:38about cancellation do human beings but
1:35:41bringing the awareness that choose your
1:35:45teachers yeah choose who they are what
1:35:48the Deeds how they are in a family how
1:35:51they are in a human and so many people
1:35:53would be like defending them oh no I've
1:35:56met this teacher they're not like that
1:35:57they are beautiful that pure soul that
1:35:59Divine love I had a great experience but
1:36:02nobody will know on that level if
1:36:04they're not Clos in an inner circle yeah
1:36:07Inner Circle going see their deeper
1:36:09levels of their psychology in a five-day
1:36:12course like what do you think and
1:36:14especially after all this drama has
1:36:16happened he's going to put on even a
1:36:18more Charming Persona to to fool these
1:36:21people you know and then he would go
1:36:24home and talk [ __ ] about everyone he
1:36:26doesn't care you know not even about the
1:36:28closest people I mean about Ven and the
1:36:31perception I had I knew
1:36:36that how you say it he
1:36:39he likes people but he doesn't love
1:36:43people or he loves people maybe on some
1:36:45level of idea but he doesn't like people
1:36:47stand them
1:36:51MH I mean only two 3 months after we met
1:36:55he would tell me that um you're bringing
1:36:58me down can you sit in another room so
1:37:01they started really
1:37:03early I I work with a therapist because
1:37:05of my ex I'll transcribe you what he
1:37:08says you are triggering things in me
1:37:12that I am not ready to face
1:37:16yeah I'm in shock I mean we can joke
1:37:18about it like yeah it's hilarious
1:37:20looking back cuz I now you see it so
1:37:22clearly it's like like because I went to
1:37:25see a friend a man that I met here in
1:37:27Bali yeah who is very good at seeing
1:37:30things and he tried to warn me and I
1:37:33came back and were like I was telling
1:37:35him that you know I I really love you
1:37:39but I'm not in love with you which is it
1:37:42is true I I did love him but maybe not
1:37:45in that way um and that and he would
1:37:49like it's okay I know it's all right and
1:37:52he took it so well
1:37:54but I can see now that that was all
1:37:56pretended because that came up later you
1:37:58know years later and that's when the
1:38:01that's when it started this whole
1:38:04devaluation like go to another room or
1:38:07uh your heart is not open you can't even
1:38:09say that you love me like all of these
1:38:11um kind of things and I would more and
1:38:13more start to think that okay there's
1:38:16something wrong with me like I'm not
1:38:17open enough and this and that so it
1:38:20started early onh but um it's like they
1:38:24they kept uh uh I can speak about he
1:38:28kept me in my narratives he saw my
1:38:30naivity that naivity that was like a
1:38:32weak part but it was actually the Purity
1:38:35and he saw that he could not stretch me
1:38:37and he played the game with me but that
1:38:40when I was I remember when I was leaving
1:38:42yeah suddenly I saw the glare in his
1:38:45eyes that I never seen
1:38:47before he was like but stay you should
1:38:50stay this is my nature this is who I am
1:38:52and I was for like a year telling was
1:38:55telling him shivananda please tell me
1:38:58this is who you are this is what you
1:39:00need and go this route you can be like
1:39:02Oso do it openly when people agree to
1:39:04the polygamic relationship orgies it's
1:39:07okay you can do it but be true to
1:39:09yourself I think what upsets me not what
1:39:11you did to me but what upsets me to see
1:39:14that you're not truth true to who you
1:39:17are you're presenting something and then
1:39:19you want something completely different
1:39:21underneath and then it's that game and
1:39:22then like I'm confused and when I saw
1:39:24that glare when he's like stay this is
1:39:27who I am this is my nature and I was
1:39:30terrified yeah that I never saw that I
1:39:33didn't saw that he never showed me and
1:39:35then I saw the real alignment of who he
1:39:38is and when I left it just expanded
1:39:42accelerated create more pain yeah and I
1:39:45was uh joking that I said you know if my
1:39:48partner was having coping mechanism like
1:39:52self-destruction like SM sming or like
1:39:54like I don't know like so oper watching
1:39:56something like bingi eating right his
1:39:58own things Vector to himself we could
1:40:02work with that we can evolve but even he
1:40:05agreed uh when the sponsor lady was
1:40:08trying to bring uh bring my ex to the
1:40:13psychiatrist who is healing the sexual
1:40:16pattern sex addiction MH he healed one
1:40:19of the top athlet in the United States
1:40:22MH we had that cas
1:40:24yeah we had that person to help
1:40:26shivananda and he started to agree but
1:40:29then he changed his mind yeah because a
1:40:31narcissistic personality they don't care
1:40:34they don't want to change no no and that
1:40:36accelerated to the point
1:40:39that I understood it's Vector from his
1:40:43Persona to a lot of women and he is um
1:40:50using the spiritual law that lesson is
1:40:53coming through me through the master for
1:40:55you to learn an excuse but when I saw
1:41:00that it's a pattern and he will never be
1:41:03healed when my therapist said it will
1:41:06never change you are dealing with a
1:41:08narcissist and a um porn sex addict and
1:41:12mental abuse Anastasia it will never
1:41:14change it was like a slap into my face
1:41:16sober up that's what you are dealing
1:41:18with like like the person from expert I
1:41:21needed that to hear for me to stop and
1:41:24uh I could not be no longer in a story
1:41:28providing supporting the energy of the
1:41:30Shak te that balance because they need
1:41:33the Shakti they cannot Shiva cannot
1:41:35survive and can cannot Thrive without
1:41:38the shaki energy but I could not support
1:41:41that him sitting in the guru position
1:41:43and lying to his community to their
1:41:45faces I was embarrassed when I was
1:41:47living and he said Luna DAV is living
1:41:49because his baba his Guru told him that
1:41:52in like like like the um
1:41:56Adida yeah this one is similar story
1:41:58always using he had the guidance to be
1:42:00in brahmacharya and Luna Davi could not
1:42:02handle that because he needs to withdraw
1:42:05from sexal activity I was the like as if
1:42:07I was the one who is addicted and that's
1:42:10why Luna DAV is going back to New York
1:42:12like everything they tell you is
1:42:15actually about them that's what they
1:42:16draw the inspiration from you know they
1:42:19tell you how you are and what's wrong
1:42:21with you and you realized that they were
1:42:22talking about themselves the whole time
1:42:25and I was just crying and I could not
1:42:27face people's faces because I was
1:42:29embarrassed for him
1:42:31yeah
1:42:33yeah long story short we can go on and
1:42:37on and I'm sure there are many
1:42:39many uh details and proves we don't even
1:42:43need to prove like things that can be
1:42:47public and exposed uh that's just the
1:42:50two stories that are told from different
1:42:55perspectives uh with our side of the
1:42:57story our side of the truth to bring
1:43:00awareness uh to raise the Consciousness
1:43:03to give the inspiration that there is
1:43:05another route we don't have to agree
1:43:07collectively the teachings are good the
1:43:08person is a little [ __ ] up but the
1:43:10teachs are good no no let's choose
1:43:12different let's choose higher uh ethics
1:43:17virtue of Ethics the decency
1:43:19transparency we are collectively going
1:43:21to telepathy How can I light to your
1:43:23face if you see through me if you see my
1:43:26colors we are going there let's but this
1:43:29I feel is also what's happening for us
1:43:32this is what we can share now because we
1:43:33have seen this we have experienced this
1:43:36like we've been completely walking
1:43:38through hell and because of that
1:43:40literally we can in a way yeah be better
1:43:44yeah and be in our full power again it's
1:43:47meeting the darkness it's meeting the
1:43:49Shadows it's going through [ __ ] dark
1:43:52I'm I'm joking Dark Nights of the Soul
1:43:53Dark years of the Soul not just the
1:43:56night but still choosing the light not
1:43:59to be completely consumed under this
1:44:02egregor of the darkness and then
1:44:04creating all of this routes yeah it's
1:44:06still choosing the light we've been
1:44:08through hell yeah and I hope this is
1:44:11going to be inspiring to many Souls that
1:44:13are you know it's interesting how people
1:44:16like us are always tell the pure naive
1:44:19innocent and a child childish innocence
1:44:22were perceived in a Humanity like 20
1:44:24years ago oh you're living with your
1:44:26pink glasses on you are not prepared for
1:44:28the the world is cruel darling you are
1:44:31too pure too naive and naive was like
1:44:34stupid like you not prepared but how I
1:44:37am happy to see that the collective is
1:44:41coming to see the world through our lens
1:44:44how we were perceiving it always that
1:44:45naive a state of awe the surprise and
1:44:49the Wonder yeah yeah yeah that is um
1:44:56something I have not valued but now can
1:44:58really value it's um that's the strength
1:45:03that's the power yeah when the power is
1:45:05powerful it requires the subtle touch
1:45:09mhm it's not loud as screaming yelling
1:45:13justifying proving it's silent it's in a
1:45:17frequency
1:45:19yeah I love you so much I love you too
1:45:22ah
1:45:26it is about the pure divine feminine to
1:45:30speak the truth to face all of the
1:45:32Shadows yes a little bit of Shame uh and
1:45:35embarrassed that we went through the low
1:45:37low low low but we we could not we did
1:45:39not have a choice to still match no and
1:45:44to survive through that but then the
1:45:46Liberation came and
1:45:49the the lesson is learned and it's like
1:45:52giving um almost like a manual to a
1:45:55future generation so that young girls in
1:45:57their 20s that are still in a uh in a
1:46:01foot steps to the spirituality please
1:46:04Choose Wisely I always say you have to
1:46:07feel the love that is pouring through
1:46:10the teacher through facilitator feel it
1:46:12it's not about uh conversation about
1:46:15realized God God cons Christ
1:46:18Consciousness love unconditional love
1:46:19it's about the frequency when they speak
1:46:21about it yeah feel it yeah and it's not
1:46:25about going to just anyone under a
1:46:28specific brand cuz each facilitator has
1:46:31a different flavor flavor and that's
1:46:35beautiful so like feel into the person
1:46:37and if it resonates I don't even want
1:46:39people to come to me if they're not
1:46:41aligned with who I am because only if
1:46:45they're aligned I can really like take
1:46:47them deep you know and I can really help
1:46:50them and I can um yeah they can benefit
1:46:54you know on a deeper level and it's not
1:46:56a lot of people who are coming to us at
1:46:58the moment because the Consciousness is
1:47:00not there yet to perceive some people
1:47:03need to go into extreme Duality and it's
1:47:06going to be masses because kind of like
1:47:083D all of the extremes The Duality yeah
1:47:12and it's but it's shifting it's shifting
1:47:14it's supporting right now the Divine
1:47:16that's raise wing tip to wing tip yeah
1:47:21yeah it's beautiful it's beautiful in a
1:47:23way what's happening now like I have I
1:47:26completely lost
1:47:28my inspiration in this work and I
1:47:32disconnected I never have been like you
1:47:33know this disconnected as the last few
1:47:35years since I had my son and went
1:47:37through all of this like I was just
1:47:39drained of Life Force energy completely
1:47:42and I didn't feel my power I was just
1:47:45you know anxious depressed like in such
1:47:48a low every day I would go to the river
1:47:51meditate try to like figure out what's
1:47:53wrong what's wrong he has to come back
1:47:55into that energy and be completely like
1:47:58you know like the gaslighting the he
1:48:01shut me out for six months he didn't
1:48:03speak to me and I was just desperate
1:48:05didn't know why um what how long six
1:48:09month um wait let's see so it was the
1:48:11training in Portugal he met this girl um
1:48:15and he would start to put me down and he
1:48:19would just ignore me uh and this went on
1:48:22we went to Bali we went to Sydney which
1:48:26was a little bit better because we were
1:48:28around his family so it had to kind of
1:48:30flow there back to Costa Rica he just
1:48:33straight down to Hell uh and I would
1:48:36like be at his feet like beg him to talk
1:48:38to me and tell me what's going on like
1:48:41what's happening it tells me about like
1:48:43masochistic I had similar like patterns
1:48:46with my exgs Mah histic it's
1:48:51like uh you're being belittling you you
1:48:55punished and then kind of like having
1:48:57pleasure into punishing you
1:49:00masochistically because they want to be
1:49:02in power over you so and when they
1:49:06realize that they're breaking breaking
1:49:08out of this Frame that I have created
1:49:10they need to like do everything they can
1:49:12to put you down again back yeah so that
1:49:14was like six month of hell and yes like
1:49:18trying to figure out why I'm feeling so
1:49:20bad you know that whole and then you
1:49:22question yourself what's wrong with me
1:49:25when I'm going to expand maybe I'm not
1:49:27on that level yeah like why can't I
1:49:28break through why can't I break through
1:49:30and blockages come on open up constant
1:49:33meditate like do everything you can to
1:49:35do your work like look inside Journal
1:49:38but it's like you're stuck and it was
1:49:40such a heavy heavy energy like holding
1:49:42me down and the moment he told us to
1:49:45leave the house I was just devastated
1:49:48but in the next few days things like I
1:49:51was destroyed
1:49:53but things would clear and I'm like I
1:49:56could never go back to that I went back
1:49:57to the house one time um for about two
1:50:01hours and he really got under my skin
1:50:04like you know bringing up things like um
1:50:08you know the energy is going to shift
1:50:09now and this and that he told me after a
1:50:11week by the way that I can no longer be
1:50:13in the level two trainings because I
1:50:15thought naively you know that we're
1:50:19going to continue to co-parent we're
1:50:21going to like be friend
1:50:23I'm going to continue to do cap but
1:50:25because the work stays he wanted his new
1:50:27girlfriend in that Workshop he had to
1:50:30tell me not to come because she was
1:50:31uncomfortable if I was there um so I
1:50:36think she didn't want to come or
1:50:38something like this I don't know the
1:50:39exact details but um he had to get rid
1:50:42of me because I would stop his plans of
1:50:45getting all this woman so that c is not
1:50:50the same without you how is it is not
1:50:52not like people don't get it if it's the
1:50:55energy is Flowing if it's this figure or
1:50:57that figure it doesn't matter no they
1:51:00think it's all the same like how can you
1:51:01think it's all the
1:51:03same yeah yeah the ignorance hey guys
1:51:06wake up I understand it yeah yeah I I
1:51:10understand that people don't understand
1:51:12though because these are people who have
1:51:14no experience I mean we were in it as
1:51:16well uh and a lot of coming with the
1:51:19intention to control and having people
1:51:22laying down and I just going to
1:51:24manipulate the energy this is me that is
1:51:27causing that a lot of people are I hear
1:51:29I see uh what kind of is happening in
1:51:32the spiritual communities yeah and how
1:51:34it ref activation and uh when I went to
1:51:38Russia it was such an uh surprise for me
1:51:41when I brought this to Russia three
1:51:43years ago people were coming to my class
1:51:45a regular open class they were going
1:51:48home and in the lineup of the services
1:51:51they were offering
1:51:53M and kin activation yeah yes suddenly
1:51:56like boom now I'm offering this yeah and
1:51:59then it's I mean oh my God and those
1:52:03especially those creating the marketing
1:52:05and doing their training and they're
1:52:06like yes let's do this energy on people
1:52:09yeah oh my God how many people I'm
1:52:14very ashamed over where this work has
1:52:17gone to be honest I'm ashamed over the
1:52:19last two years like like where it has
1:52:23gone with the marketing like I don't
1:52:25even want to tell some people what I'm
1:52:27doing because of the reputation of this
1:52:30work and it's sad so [ __ ] sad because
1:52:34yeah it's the most beautiful thing this
1:52:36can really it has the potential to
1:52:38change Humanity the whole world like
1:52:42that is what we can do with this and
1:52:44we're just like stamping on it and we're
1:52:47like making it look like it's
1:52:49about you know being goddesses doing
1:52:53like yeah shaking moving you know uh I
1:52:56had a in interesting situation in Miami
1:52:58in March of last year searching for the
1:53:01studio and I was say saying I'm working
1:53:04with energy and they were saying if you
1:53:06have anything to do uh with cap or
1:53:09similar modalities um we don't welcome
1:53:12you yesterday I was holding in Bali the
1:53:16class and the owner came to say hello
1:53:18and I said you know like con activation
1:53:20she's like uh and I'm like it has a bad
1:53:24reputation yeah I'm like oh my God which
1:53:26is sad yeah and so Kini activation
1:53:29facilitator is different to now the cond
1:53:32activation facilitator not all of the
1:53:34people who hold the practice with the
1:53:36same name are working with that energy
1:53:38be aware yeah and this is what's so sad
1:53:41because I see a lot of potential in
1:53:43people like people have you know the
1:53:46it's their Dharma to share this work um
1:53:49at least you know maybe not everyone no
1:53:52but no when I've seen how many people
1:53:54you started to train I'm like how do you
1:53:56choose them because this this this I'm
1:53:58not sure if I want to thing on the
1:54:00resume no no it's crazy but it's a
1:54:03devotion I meet the people who has the
1:54:05potential but they just they yes they
1:54:08don't even know the depth of it they
1:54:10they know like 20% and they think that
1:54:13that's all this is and everyone is a
1:54:15master every one is the master of
1:54:17activation yeah and they are their own
1:54:20Master but whatever they did before but
1:54:22to work with the energy to become
1:54:25integrated in alignment to the higher
1:54:28vision and serve the energy also copy
1:54:31paste copy paste check in with your yeah
1:54:34like with your own work like where you
1:54:36are hey yeah uh keep growing keep
1:54:39evolving yeah this is where I want want
1:54:42to bring this work to do it with
1:54:45integrity and authenticity and um you
1:54:49know just find your own power don't be
1:54:52dependent on another person or a brand
1:54:55because that's just like creates this
1:54:57little prison for you uh and you're not
1:55:01really your gift is not really coming
1:55:04through you know so I really want to
1:55:06bring people deeper and to work on
1:55:10themselves
1:55:11more uh before I mean if you meant to do
1:55:15this work you can kind of offer it quite
1:55:17soon but you still have to go through
1:55:18your process it's like there's so much
1:55:21to it it's like been accrediting uh
1:55:23those people now I work with the uh
1:55:26training facilitators and I've seen uh
1:55:30I've seen things I've seen so many
1:55:32people who don't have pure intentions
1:55:34and somehow I for example took them and
1:55:37they leave and it's of course on them
1:55:39but I know that I shouldn't have taken
1:55:41them in the first place right but I also
1:55:43learn and um uh I am trying to create
1:55:48that very narrow Corridor for the
1:55:54accrediting that high level of
1:55:57facilitators who are really in
1:56:00Integrity uh and for some people it
1:56:03needs to be like six months of the
1:56:04training intense training before they
1:56:06come to Kine activation otherwise right
1:56:09now what's happening in the world is
1:56:10diluted like Reiki I don't know a lot of
1:56:13people who are respecting Reiki as it's
1:56:16should be respected and so i' I've seen
1:56:19C going to that route uh and I think
1:56:23that's what naturally happens after some
1:56:25time as it grows because you can't you
1:56:28know and nowadays like everyone is copy
1:56:30pasting doing a five-day training and
1:56:32there's just like more people spit it
1:56:34out that doesn't really know more yeah
1:56:38but I also know that whatever is
1:56:40happening in the world has the reason
1:56:42for it yes and those people are going to
1:56:44this training and how many people are
1:56:45coming to my training after that
1:56:47training and they said I never felt that
1:56:51yeah yeah maybe it's like a prep for
1:56:53them they will find a way in the
1:56:55resonance and I was saying you're going
1:56:56to stand up yeah feeling in your power
1:57:00and singing that Invisible song in a
1:57:03frequency and your goddesses your people
1:57:06will fly in to you yeah it is beautiful
1:57:10anyway there's a lot of downsides to it
1:57:13right now but that has its purpose and
1:57:15it's beautiful how it's spreading like
1:57:17so many beautiful people are just coming
1:57:20into their Essence like it's incredible
1:57:23to see Ah that's the beauty of it and
1:57:26it's a blessing of uh being uh in
1:57:30service to that
1:57:31Divine energy to that
1:57:36love I love you I love you too oh my God
1:57:40we need
1:57:44it and you know to be honest completely
1:57:48honest I went so low that I um it was my
1:57:52like lust lust nerve
1:57:56cell I downloaded his WhatsApp on my
1:57:59iPad because I was so delusioned in
1:58:02illusion and confused I needed to see
1:58:05the the darkest things to like Anastasia
1:58:08wake up this is who he is you cannot
1:58:11just like he cannot lie to your face
1:58:13anymore and I downloaded and I was
1:58:15seeing that he was having uh sex with
1:58:17his assistant when I was in New York and
1:58:20when I told told him finally that I'm
1:58:23leaving he was uh having conversation at
1:58:26the same time with five different women
1:58:28trying to play victim saying like oh
1:58:31please can we meet I just need to be
1:58:33heard I just need to talk to you and
1:58:35kind of like like you know he was always
1:58:37using this like he's a Jesus incarnated
1:58:40and he's looking for the Magdalene
1:58:42that's how I got trapped I was thinking
1:58:43I'm the magdal like in
1:58:45my this was with benon and his other
1:58:48girlfriend as well and it's like you
1:58:49just see how it plays out that whole too
1:58:53like Jesus and his girlfriend is
1:58:55Magdalene every girlfriend is Magdalene
1:58:58or yeah or different versions of this
1:59:00you know and that's and that's the like
1:59:02in DNA probably every new girlfriend is
1:59:05his twinflame yeah and then you have
1:59:07this resonance in your DNA if you were
1:59:09leaving you have a frequency you have
1:59:11marking so you were a descendant of this
1:59:13uh Trio the holy family then your DNA is
1:59:17activated for that energy and of course
1:59:18they're using it like I'm the Jesus
1:59:20you're the magdaline like of course I am
1:59:22let me help your mission and then every
1:59:24woman is feeling that they want to be
1:59:25chosen once but I went so low I was
1:59:28seeing how he was communicating with
1:59:30five different women trying to comfort
1:59:32him like being lost and like uh Luna is
1:59:36leaving I am a little bit Lo like five
1:59:38different and then he was oh send me the
1:59:40picture oh send me your kitty cat thing
1:59:44and then some of them were sending the
1:59:48seductive pictures and then he's sharing
1:59:50these pictures with his friend like like
1:59:53dudes are sharing like hey
1:59:56look this is hilarious they like just
1:59:58like any other teenage boy exactly and
2:00:01then I have the screenshots of all of
2:00:03that you know and it's like so you have
2:00:06I know him yes I know him like my five
2:00:09fingers he can tell you and can mask and
2:00:13uh turn around and gas light everything
2:00:15but I know how he thinks I spent [ __ ]
2:00:19247 with him I know exactly now maybe
2:00:23not when I was in it but now I can see
2:00:25exactly how he works and it's the same
2:00:27for every person he meets it's the same
2:00:29game and to continue on what you spoke
2:00:34about I was uh having I was spending
2:00:38time with Rio this was just a few days
2:00:40before he told us to leave the house
2:00:43and I still didn't realize to what
2:00:46extent you know what he was or how he
2:00:50was um
2:00:53and
2:00:55uh suddenly in Rio's iPad something is
2:00:58popping up and it's his calendar and I'm
2:01:01like oh so he's logged into Rio's V's
2:01:03iPad calendar Von's calendar is popping
2:01:06up and I can see his notes and his
2:01:09calendar and this is how I know because
2:01:12without this I wouldn't have known to
2:01:14what extent his brain is working I
2:01:17needed it to know what kind of person he
2:01:19was because otherwise I would have still
2:01:20been confused confused and being like oh
2:01:23no he's a good person so that was just
2:01:26like ripping me apart what was in no
2:01:29that you well well the first one there
2:01:31there's a lot there's a lot but the
2:01:34first one is um from
2:01:372018 where it said I see if I can
2:01:41remember without looking at it because I
2:01:42it was a while ago uh it
2:01:46is mentioning like venet Wong's Tantra
2:01:50calini activation like he was planning
2:01:52and then he mentioned my name and two
2:01:55one or two other girls names for some
2:01:57reason and this is a handwritten note
2:02:00that he has taking a picture of uh from
2:02:032018 so uh then it has three points and
2:02:07the one the first
2:02:14one and just to mention again I'm not
2:02:17proud of this but I'm also happy that I
2:02:19saved it yeah um it your anchor to wake
2:02:23up wake up see that real and this was
2:02:26horrible to experience it's like I don't
2:02:28want to know this I don't want to see it
2:02:30I don't want to have these secrets and
2:02:32not being able to speak about it you
2:02:34know that created such a psychological
2:02:38fight like what do I do with this you
2:02:41know H why do I get to see this anyway
2:02:45okay number one I have to be in open
2:02:48relationships must number two I'm only
2:02:51energ by gorgeous woman number three
2:02:55continuously teaching gives me a power
2:02:57and an authority that draws woman to me
2:03:00easily
2:03:01underlined and they submit to
2:03:04me um Ven and Wong kendini transmission
2:03:08so this is the first note I found and
2:03:10from here it would just like pop up
2:03:14crazy stuff until I couldn't like I
2:03:16couldn't take it anymore and I logged
2:03:17out because I just didn't want anything
2:03:20like it affected me a lot to see these
2:03:22things you know it's like to find out
2:03:26that the person you believed in and that
2:03:28you were supporting like I was
2:03:30supporting him I brought people in
2:03:32because of being what I
2:03:35was and like the guilt of that and then
2:03:39ah this is like to

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