SHE GHOSTED ME | Jess & Abhi, Ep. 1 — Transcript

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1. 0:00He ghosted me.
2. 0:00>> I fell asleep
3. 0:02>> for two years.
4. 0:04>> Scammer. This guy is fine.
5. 0:07>> But then again, I was pissed. I was mad
6. 0:10for the second time. It's just
7. 0:11ridiculous.
8. 0:12>> And he didn't reply to me. He ghosted
9. 0:15me. He is a lot older than me.
10. 0:18>> Sugar Daddy.
11. 0:21>> I don't know about
12. 0:22>> So this is our first and last podcast.
13. 0:31Hello. I'm Jess.
14. 0:33>> And I'm Obby.
15. 0:34>> And welcome to our channel. Today we
16. 0:36have some hard-hitting questions that
17. 0:39were asked to us on our Instagram page,
18. 0:41Jess and Obby, which we have linked down
19. 0:43below and linked over here.
20. 0:46>> Um, so let's get started.
21. 0:47>> Get started.
22. 0:48>> Let's get started. So, our most asked
23. 0:51question by far is how did we meet?
24. 0:56>> Mhm. How did we meet?
25. 0:58>> Should I tell the original story or the
26. 1:01madeup story that we came up with?
27. 1:05>> Um,
28. 1:07probably the real story I would say.
29. 1:09>> Mhm. Do you want to start?
30. 1:11>> Sure. Out of all places, we met on
31. 1:14Facebook dating.
32. 1:17>> Facebook dating. Yeah, that's true.
33. 1:19>> Can you imagine that?
34. 1:20>> Not on Hinge, not on Tinder or in
35. 1:23person, but on Facebook dating. Facebook
36. 1:25dating you guys. And the thing is it
37. 1:29honestly we probably never were going to
38. 1:32meet ever in our lives,
39. 1:34>> but both of us had people close to us
40. 1:36say, "Oh, why don't you get on Facebook
41. 1:39dating randomly?" It was his cousin and
42. 1:42it was my cousin.
43. 1:43>> Mhm.
44. 1:43>> And so that's how we met.
45. 1:45>> Yeah. Cuz there was no other way.
46. 1:47>> No, we never would have met cuz he was
47. 1:49in Canada. I was in the United States.
48. 1:52Mhm.
49. 1:52>> And it it never would have happened
50. 1:54otherwise.
51. 1:55>> I don't even have a visa.
52. 1:57>> Yeah. So you couldn't even visit
53. 1:58America.
54. 1:59>> American American visa.
55. 2:00>> Yeah.
56. 2:00>> So there's there was no there's
57. 2:02literally no way. No way. No way.
58. 2:05>> And I had never left the country either.
59. 2:06So it's not like I would have ran into
60. 2:08him in Canada or anything like that.
61. 2:10>> Yeah. Yeah. So the story started
62. 2:15not last year but back in 2024.
63. 2:19>> Back in the good old days
64. 2:20>> when we matched. Yeah. When we matched
65. 2:23and then go ahead and
66. 2:25>> so what happened
67. 2:26>> and then
68. 2:27uh it was happily ever after.
69. 2:30>> No. No. Absolutely not. Absolutely not.
70. 2:33She ghosted me. She ghosted me. We
71. 2:36talked we talked for like for the whole
72. 2:39day we talked and it was a really good
73. 2:41conversation between us like back and
74. 2:43forth texting and she was asking about
75. 2:45me and I was asking about her. But then
76. 2:48something happened out of nowhere and
77. 2:51she ghosted me.
78. 2:52>> I fell asleep.
79. 2:56>> For 2 years you were sleeping.
80. 3:00>> It was not 2 years. It was less than a
81. 3:03year.
82. 3:04>> Still any year.
83. 3:06>> Less than a year. First of all, clock
84. 3:08it.
85. 3:09>> Mhm.
86. 3:10>> Less than a year.
87. 3:11>> Um, secondly, if you guys saw I mean,
88. 3:15look at him. He's gorgeous. But if you
89. 3:17saw his profile, he looked fake.
90. 3:22And then I also saw his Facebook account
91. 3:24and it looked fake. It was like five
92. 3:27follow
93. 3:29>> like a handful of friends. It was like
94. 3:31where he went to college
95. 3:33>> and I was like there's no way that this
96. 3:34person is real. So I just didn't
97. 3:37respond.
98. 3:38>> Yeah.
99. 3:38>> Even though he was lovely. So, so the
100. 3:40backstory backstory is um I made an
101. 3:42account on Facebook just to join the
102. 3:45gross when I was moving to Canada and to
103. 3:47look for
104. 3:49rooms and other small stuffs that you
105. 3:52need for your daily daily chores or your
106. 3:55household activities on the marketplace.
107. 3:58Obviously, that was the only reason. So,
108. 4:00I just uploaded I think two or three
109. 4:03pictures. That's it. That's it.
110. 4:05>> Scammer.
111. 4:06>> Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if you if you if you
112. 4:08go and um look at my account, you will
113. 4:10call me a scammer. It doesn't look real.
114. 4:12But but but but
115. 4:17on the contrary, I had my Instagram
116. 4:20account linked.
117. 4:22So, if you missed it, the joke's on you.
118. 4:25>> But also, maybe his Instagram was fake,
119. 4:27too.
120. 4:28>> No, it wasn't. Who knows? It wasn't
121. 4:29fake.
122. 4:29>> Maybe
123. 4:30>> it wasn't fake. There are there are
124. 4:31different ways to check if the Instagram
125. 4:33account is fake or not.
126. 4:35>> Okay. Okay.
127. 4:36>> I'm not I'm not an FBI agent,
128. 4:38>> so I was just trying to save beforehand.
129. 4:44>> All right. What happened next?
130. 4:46>> Um
131. 4:48Oh, so we're going to get into like the
132. 4:49whole story. Then I months later
133. 4:53>> Mhm.
134. 4:54>> Um he popped back up on my Facebook as
135. 4:56like a suggested friend. I was like,
136. 4:58"This guy is fine. Let me send him a
137. 5:01friend request and just see what
138. 5:02happens." You know, why not? So I sent
139. 5:05him the friend request, he accepted. A
140. 5:08few days later, he followed me on
141. 5:10Instagram.
142. 5:11>> And so we both have admitted to this now
143. 5:14today. We both started posting stories
144. 5:17where we looked like really cute trying
145. 5:19to bait the other person to messaging
146. 5:22first.
147. 5:22>> She was liking my stories, I was liking
148. 5:24her stories.
149. 5:26>> So it was kind of back and forth.
150. 5:28>> Yeah, exactly. And um I lost
151. 5:31>> I lost and I messaged him first. I was
152. 5:34just like, "Hey, what's up?"
153. 5:36>> Yeah. She asked me, "How are you?" And
154. 5:38then I replied and again it was back and
155. 5:40forth texting, but then again SHE GOES
156. 5:44TO
157. 5:45>> THAT'S TRUE. YEAH.
158. 5:50>> YEAH. She goes to me again.
159. 5:52>> Listen.
160. 5:54>> Yeah. One more reason. Let's listen to
161. 5:56it. One one more reason.
162. 5:58>> I don't have any excuse.
163. 6:01Um, but him calling me out on ghosting
164. 6:05him really sealed the deal of my
165. 6:08attraction to him
166. 6:09>> cuz I was pissed. I was mad ghosting
167. 6:12from the same girl for the second time.
168. 6:15It's just ridiculous, man. Like,
169. 6:18>> hell no.
170. 6:19>> What was the What was the message that
171. 6:21you sent? It was um Oh, ghosting for the
172. 6:24second time. That's kind of insulting.
173. 6:26>> Insulting. Yeah, that was insulting.
174. 6:28Yeah.
175. 6:28>> Yeah. So, it was like a very kind way to
176. 6:30like call me on my BS.
177. 6:33>> And so, I apologized profusely and I
178. 6:37said, um, I had fallen asleep. I thought
179. 6:40I messaged you back. I didn't. I'm
180. 6:42sorry. And he didn't reply to me. He
181. 6:45ghosted me.
182. 6:46>> Yeah. Yeah. For the entire day, I I
183. 6:48didn't give her give her a reply.
184. 6:50>> You're a ghostaster.
185. 6:52>> Really? Mhm.
186. 6:56>> Comment down below who's in the wrong.
187. 7:00>> Um, but then I messaged him again later
188. 7:02that night and I was like, "Good night."
189. 7:03Like with a heart
190. 7:04>> with a heart on then. Yeah, that text
191. 7:07melted my heart. Then I accepted her.
192. 7:10>> Write that down, girls. Write that down.
193. 7:12>> Then yeah, it was that was a beautiful
194. 7:16story.
195. 7:16>> And then ever since we have been
196. 7:18literally inseparable.
197. 7:20>> Mhm. We started dating
198. 7:22>> honestly like three or four days after
199. 7:24that happened.
200. 7:25>> Yeah. Yeah.
201. 7:26>> And then it just we've been together
202. 7:28ever since.
203. 7:29>> Yeah.
204. 7:29>> We've been very in love.
205. 7:33>> That was our story.
206. 7:34>> That was our story.
207. 7:35>> Mhm.
208. 7:35>> Okay. Next question. What do you both do
209. 7:38for work? I am a behavior analyst. um
210. 7:42which basically means that I work with
211. 7:45kids with developmental disabilities and
212. 7:48I help teach them significant skills um
213. 7:51so that they can have full autonomy,
214. 7:53live their best life um and then also
215. 7:56reduce maladaptive behaviors that may be
216. 7:59interfering with their life and all the
217. 8:01things that they want to do and want to
218. 8:03get out of it. M and I'm a licensed
219. 8:06architect
220. 8:08from India and here I've done
221. 8:10construction management diploma in
222. 8:12construction management.
223. 8:14>> So I mean you guys know what these
224. 8:16fields are.
225. 8:17>> Yeah.
226. 8:17>> No need to explain.
227. 8:19>> That was the weirdest answer I've ever
228. 8:21heard.
229. 8:22>> Oh
230. 8:24like kind of insulted by you guys asking
231. 8:26that question. Is that is that it offic?
232. 8:29>> No. People are smart.
233. 8:30>> Oh
234. 8:31>> well.
235. 8:33Hey, we are
236. 8:37>> okay.
237. 8:41>> What's your age? He is a lot older than
238. 8:44me. Um,
239. 8:47you know, I'm the ripe young age of 28.
240. 8:52He is 28 and four weeks older than me.
241. 8:56>> Oh my god.
242. 8:57Wow.
243. 9:00>> Yeah, we both are 28. Yeah, he was born
244. 9:02in June. I was born in July. And so,
245. 9:05actually, it's only like 3 weeks between
246. 9:06us. But for those 3 weeks that I can
247. 9:09tease him about his age, it's pure bliss
248. 9:11for me.
249. 9:12>> I'm like, h I'm just with an old man,
250. 9:16>> sugar daddy.
251. 9:22>> Yeah. Yeah. But it's um it's um I think
252. 9:25it's it's an advantage that we both are
253. 9:26of same age.
254. 9:28>> Yeah. So like in India I would say we
255. 9:31married pretty late for the typical I
256. 9:34don't know like marriage is kind of
257. 9:36scooting its way back.
258. 9:37>> Yeah now.
259. 9:38>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean now um people
260. 9:42of our age they are taking their sweet
261. 9:44time to get married. They're living
262. 9:46their life and they just don't want any
263. 9:50kind of responsibility.
264. 9:52It depends on person to person. I think
265. 9:54>> if they take it as like a really big of
266. 9:58a responsibility on their shoulders, all
267. 10:00right, but some they they want to, you
268. 10:03know, they they they want to live with
269. 10:05their partner. They want to
270. 10:06>> grow with their partner financially,
271. 10:08emotionally,
272. 10:11you know, but yeah, it depends on person
273. 10:13to person.
274. 10:14>> I think we were we were at perfect age.
275. 10:18>> I agree. I think 28 is the perfect age
276. 10:21to get married. I think that it's um
277. 10:24still young enough to where you can
278. 10:26enjoy your 20s together and do slightly
279. 10:29more rambunctious things that you know
280. 10:31we lose more and more interest in every
281. 10:34day as we age. Um but also we're mature
282. 10:37enough to navigate the challenges that
283. 10:39come with a relationship and
284. 10:42particularly our relationship comes with
285. 10:44a lot of challenges that the typical
286. 10:47relationship doesn't. intercultural,
287. 10:50international,
288. 10:51um just having to navigate all these
289. 10:54immigration things and
290. 10:56>> cultural differences. So, it it takes a
291. 10:58lot of nuance
292. 11:00>> to there are some emotional differences
293. 11:02as well
294. 11:04>> compared to compared to now. It was way
295. 11:08way a lot more back back when we started
296. 11:11dating, but it's now much less. We'll
297. 11:13explain we we will explain that later in
298. 11:15in the later videos. No, I need him to
299. 11:17explain now cuz I don't know what he's
300. 11:19talking about.
301. 11:20>> Like you Okay. When we first started
302. 11:21dating and you first um came to see me,
303. 11:25you weren't that emotionally
304. 11:27emotionally expressive. Remember
305. 11:31that was a time that was the time I'm
306. 11:33talking about.
307. 11:34>> I was shy.
308. 11:35>> No, you were. Ah, you were not.
309. 11:37>> I was shy. I'm so shy.
310. 11:39>> I mean, you are the one who said you are
311. 11:41the one who said I love you first. So, I
312. 11:43don't know about being shy. You're being
313. 11:46shy.
314. 11:48Why would you say that?
315. 11:52So, this is our first and last podcast.
316. 11:57>> All right. Our next question is, what
317. 12:00are your zodiac signs? I predict a Leo
318. 12:03woman and a Cancer man.
319. 12:06>> Are you a Cancer man, baby?
320. 12:08>> No, I'm a Gemini.
321. 12:10>> He's a Gemini. That's why he's so phony
322. 12:13and twofaced.
323. 12:17I'm a Cancer woman actually. But if you
324. 12:20go deep into astrology, your sun sign,
325. 12:24which is like what you're referring to
326. 12:26when you're just saying Leo woman,
327. 12:27cancer man, etc., is not the end all be
328. 12:30all to astrology. You actually have a
329. 12:32sun, a moon, and a rising sign. So, if
330. 12:34you're curious about that, we can go
331. 12:37deeper into it. But my rising sign is
332. 12:39actually Leo. So, it makes sense that
333. 12:41someone would like look at me and say
334. 12:43I'm a Leo. Mhm.
335. 12:45>> I think your rising is Aries though.
336. 12:48>> Need to check. But I think uh Gemini
337. 12:50bonds really well with the people with
338. 12:53um cancer sign because my cousin is
339. 12:56cancer and we bond really well and one
340. 12:58of my friend he's also cancer like two
341. 13:00of my friends are cancer and we we have
342. 13:03really good bond. So I think it's a
343. 13:05really good bond.
344. 13:06>> Okay. So another question on here is
345. 13:08what do you like the most about me? Just
346. 13:11don't look.
347. 13:14I like everything about her. The way I
348. 13:17mean,
349. 13:19so as as an Indian guy, we
350. 13:23Indian guys have a really different
351. 13:25perspective of white women because we
352. 13:31grew up watching all the English movies,
353. 13:33all the Hollywood movies and
354. 13:35>> you know the way they portray white
355. 13:37women in those movies and the families
356. 13:40is completely different. how you are in
357. 13:43person, how you actually are and how
358. 13:45your family is, you know,
359. 13:48>> the way you accepted everything about
360. 13:50me, everything about my culture,
361. 13:52everything about about my country. It's
362. 13:53just
363. 13:54>> exceptional.
364. 13:55>> A that's really sweet. It is. It is.
365. 13:57>> What would you say the biggest um
366. 14:00difference is from what you thought a
367. 14:03typical American woman to be and then
368. 14:05the reality that you've found in me?
369. 14:08I thought they they are not that
370. 14:10expressive and not that um
371. 14:12understanding, emotionally available,
372. 14:15but
373. 14:17you are.
374. 14:18>> I am.
375. 14:19>> Yeah. Yeah, you are. And that's why
376. 14:23that's the reason I think that's the
377. 14:25sole reason why you bonded really well
378. 14:26with my family as well. Like each one of
379. 14:28them. Not just my mom and dad and my
380. 14:31sister, but each one of them
381. 14:34>> like aunts, uncles, cousins,
382. 14:36>> everyone. Yeah.
383. 14:38>> All the close ones.
384. 14:39>> Yeah. I love his family to a depth that
385. 14:43I never anticipated.
386. 14:45It's just like loving my own family. It
387. 14:48I feel the exact same about his family
388. 14:50as I do my own. And me and my family are
389. 14:53incredibly close and we always have
390. 14:55been, which I think is another thing
391. 14:57that you said was different about what
392. 14:59you anticipated in an American woman. Oh
393. 15:01>> yeah.
394. 15:02>> Is that um
395. 15:04>> typically the family systems that they
396. 15:06see are
397. 15:08>> broken or really distanced um things
398. 15:13like that. But my parents are still
399. 15:14together.
400. 15:15>> My parents are my best friends. um I
401. 15:18care deeply about their opinions and um
402. 15:21I want to make them proud and accept the
403. 15:24things that I do.
404. 15:25>> Bond that you have with your family and
405. 15:26my family is something else.
406. 15:29>> Um I've gotten asked a lot like how it
407. 15:33has been being with an Indian man and
408. 15:36like integrating into like the Indian
409. 15:38culture and I will say like now that
410. 15:40we're together I could not have imagined
411. 15:43it any other way. I could not imagine
412. 15:45being with any other culture other than
413. 15:48a man from India. Truly truly because
414. 15:51like the things that I have been so
415. 15:52ashamed about like in my own culture in
416. 15:55the American culture um is readily
417. 15:59accepted and cherished by his culture.
418. 16:02>> So like things that like make you kind
419. 16:04of a loser in America,
420. 16:07>> they love and cherish and they see it as
421. 16:10a positive. Mhm. Mhm.
422. 16:12>> So,
423. 16:13>> and it's not just that we are just
424. 16:14putting it out a thought that we
425. 16:19um experienced or that we you know
426. 16:22talked about but it's just that there
427. 16:25there were there were scenarios and
428. 16:27there were different ways how this whole
429. 16:30thing has been proven
430. 16:33>> of what
431. 16:34>> about how the culture is so acceptable
432. 16:38and so warm and welcoming. Oh, the
433. 16:40Indian culture.
434. 16:41>> So amazing and incredible. The warmest
435. 16:45culture known to humankind.
436. 16:49>> I I have no shortage of great things to
437. 16:53say about Indian culture. Truly,
438. 16:56>> it's breathtaking. And like the
439. 16:59difference is just how close everyone
440. 17:00is.
441. 17:02>> Um in contrast to the American culture
442. 17:04which is very very isolated.
443. 17:06>> Mhm.
444. 17:07>> Okay. Next question. Yeah.
445. 17:10>> At what point did you realize you
446. 17:12weren't just committing to each other?
447. 17:14You were committing to blending two
448. 17:16families, two cultures, and two
449. 17:18completely different ways of life.
450. 17:21>> I think it happened when you first came
451. 17:23to see me during your trip.
452. 17:26>> Mhm.
453. 17:28>> And the first time you stepped out of
454. 17:29states,
455. 17:31I think. Yeah. I I fell during that
456. 17:33time. What about you?
457. 17:34>> So why though?
458. 17:36>> Why? I mean all because of those
459. 17:39reasons. I I thought that this is the
460. 17:42time I need to commit.
461. 17:45>> That's why I gave you the promise ring
462. 17:47>> before you left.
463. 17:48>> Yeah. Yeah, he did.
464. 17:50>> The first time uh that we met in person,
465. 17:54>> he ended up giving me a promise ring at
466. 17:57the end of that trip, which was a family
467. 17:59heirloom ring. So,
468. 18:02>> um when you know, you know. Let's just
469. 18:04say that.
470. 18:04>> Exactly. When you know, you know. I
471. 18:05mean, you know, you know,
472. 18:06>> there's nothing or you are you guys are
473. 18:09going way too fast. Your guy is going I
474. 18:12don't want to say way too slow because
475. 18:13there that doesn't make any sense with
476. 18:15this whole theory when you know you know
477. 18:18but basically when you
478. 18:20>> there is things Yeah. There there there
479. 18:22is something too slow but now it's just
480. 18:24applicable on this theory when you know
481. 18:26you know
482. 18:26>> right
483. 18:27>> because when you know you know you take
484. 18:28things you take things fast.
485. 18:30>> Mhm.
486. 18:31>> When you know you know
487. 18:32>> and Okay. But I I have a I have
488. 18:35something to say about that though. I
489. 18:37think if someone is um taking way too
490. 18:41long to commit to you, that is a sign in
491. 18:44and of itself. And I'm not saying our
492. 18:47timeline and our trajectory is what
493. 18:49everyone should do by any means or any
494. 18:52standard. But I think that if you're
495. 18:55with someone and you've been together
496. 18:57for like 10 years and you know that you
497. 19:00want to be married and they just haven't
498. 19:02proposed to you, they haven't made those
499. 19:04steps, they're not looking forward to
500. 19:06commitment, you need to cut your stuff
501. 19:08and run, they are not going to commit.
502. 19:11And if they do, it'll be because of an
503. 19:13ultimatum. It's not because they
504. 19:15actually genuinely want to be married to
505. 19:17you.
506. 19:18>> That's just my opinion, though. I think
507. 19:21this happened when in a relationship the
508. 19:24guy lacks the ability to show and to
509. 19:28prove that you want the commitment
510. 19:32>> and you want something out of this
511. 19:34relationship.
512. 19:35>> Mhm.
513. 19:35>> In the future obviously I think the guy
514. 19:38needs to take initiatives and to prove
515. 19:40everything about the relationship that
516. 19:43it is true. It is it is genuine. That's
517. 19:45what I think.
518. 19:46>> I agree with that. I completely agree.
519. 19:49It is on the man. Truly, it is.
520. 19:51>> And if you if you are if you're if
521. 19:53you're just playing around, that is also
522. 19:55acceptable. But just keep things clear.
523. 19:58>> Just just just put it out that this is
524. 20:00why I'm doing it. I don't want to be
525. 20:02serious. I'm I'm at an age where my
526. 20:05focus is towards something else. So, I'm
527. 20:08not looking forward to marriage or to
528. 20:11proposal or engagement or whatever.
529. 20:14>> I could not agree more.
530. 20:15>> Yeah.
531. 20:17Um, so I realized I didn't answer that
532. 20:19question.
533. 20:20>> Um, so I think that when I realized that
534. 20:25we weren't just committing to each
535. 20:26other,
536. 20:27>> we were committing to like each other's
537. 20:30families and cultures
538. 20:31>> was really our trip to India together.
539. 20:35>> So like the question wasn't just about
540. 20:36when we decided to commit,
541. 20:38>> but like that deeper level of like
542. 20:41>> understanding the cultural differences
543. 20:43and committing to that. Mhm.
544. 20:44>> Um and it's because like his parents
545. 20:47don't speak English.
546. 20:49>> So I was navigating like the language
547. 20:51barrier while we were in India.
548. 20:54>> Um and then also navigating all of like
549. 20:56the cultural differences there.
550. 21:00>> Um
551. 21:01>> and I had no problem committing
552. 21:04>> after seeing what the differences really
553. 21:06are.
554. 21:07>> It was so beautiful. I saw everything
555. 21:10from a wedding to the different places
556. 21:13around India. We went to um Hanamani's
557. 21:17temple.
558. 21:19>> Uh and so I really got kind of a full
559. 21:22scope of the differences
560. 21:25>> and I loved how we were different.
561. 21:27>> Yeah.
562. 21:28>> It made me appreciate more what we have
563. 21:31and how special it is. Um, and it made
564. 21:34it really easy for me to commit even
565. 21:37though we have two different ways of
566. 21:39lives.
567. 21:39>> And this whole situation, um, that whole
568. 21:42trip made it super clear that you don't
569. 21:43need words to express your feelings if
570. 21:46you love someone, if you cherish
571. 21:48someone.
572. 21:48>> That is true. So, like of all of the
573. 21:52things that happened on that trip, my
574. 21:55favorite memory was me and his mom
575. 21:59sitting in bed together using Google
576. 22:02Translate to talk back and forth and we
577. 22:04were just laughing together and just
578. 22:07giggling. And then he walks in and he's
579. 22:09like, "What is happening?" But when you
580. 22:12love someone, you find a way to navigate
581. 22:16the cultural differences that you may or
582. 22:18may not have. Mhm.
583. 22:19>> You really do.
584. 22:20>> Yeah, that's true.
585. 22:21>> Yeah. And I love his mom just as I love
586. 22:24my own. She is literally everything to
587. 22:27me. I think we probably talk more than
588. 22:30you and her talk.
589. 22:31>> My dad's going to be mad.
590. 22:33>> Papa G, I love you, too.
591. 22:37But mommy G and I just have this like
592. 22:40this girl's connection.
593. 22:41>> Girl connection.
594. 22:44>> Okay. And then this is actually our last
595. 22:46question. Drum roll, please.
596. 22:53Looking back now, what has been the most
597. 22:56rewarding part about marriage? And what
598. 22:58has been much harder than you expected?
599. 23:02>> Back homes, looking at your smiley face,
600. 23:06looking at me all lovingly with a big
601. 23:09smile. Just I just I just love that. I
602. 23:12just love that.
603. 23:14I love everything about it. And
604. 23:17and I think that's what marriage is,
605. 23:20right? Like
606. 23:22growing old together, growing in
607. 23:25different aspects of life together.
608. 23:27That's what marriage is.
609. 23:30>> And it does.
610. 23:32>> What's the other part? Sorry.
611. 23:34>> Um what has been much harder than you
612. 23:36expected?
613. 23:37>> When I want to explain something, it
614. 23:39just doesn't come out the way I want to.
615. 23:42>> Mhm. M
616. 23:43>> I think the way I portray that
617. 23:45especially that that thing it doesn't
618. 23:48reflect
619. 23:50>> I say I agree with you wholeheartedly. I
620. 23:53say that our number one um thing that's
621. 23:56harder than expected is just
622. 23:58communication
623. 23:59>> and navigating the language barrier.
624. 24:02even though he's fluent in English, it's
625. 24:05hard to convey all of the thoughts that
626. 24:07you have when you're translating it
627. 24:08through
628. 24:10>> your native tongue to a different
629. 24:12language.
630. 24:13>> And also like there are things even
631. 24:15though he speaks English fluently,
632. 24:18it's like British English
633. 24:21>> because India was colonized by Great
634. 24:24Britain. So it's like there are
635. 24:26different words for every little thing.
636. 24:28like today he said um you said a
637. 24:32different word for battery.
638. 24:35>> Did I say sell?
639. 24:37>> He said sell.
640. 24:38>> And so I asked him multiple times and I
641. 24:40was getting frustrated because I was
642. 24:41like are you speaking like what what are
643. 24:45we talking about sell?
644. 24:47>> I'm like you want my cell phone? Here
645. 24:49you go. Like but um it's like little
646. 24:53stuff like that.
647. 24:53>> Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. like the little
648. 24:55words
649. 24:56>> and and to and and to be honest with
650. 24:58you, there's a company which only makes
651. 25:00batteries and the company's name is
652. 25:02Duracell.
653. 25:03>> I know that.
654. 25:05>> So,
655. 25:05>> but I would never like shorten it and
656. 25:07say cell, give me the cell.
657. 25:10>> I would never even say give me the
658. 25:11Duracell.
659. 25:12>> I would say give me the battery.
660. 25:14>> Battery. Yeah.
661. 25:15>> Uh but also like this is another good
662. 25:18example. So when in America when we are
663. 25:22saying yes shorthand it's uh-huh
664. 25:26it is not the same in India that means
665. 25:29no.
666. 25:30>> Uh-uh.
667. 25:32>> Uh-uh means yes.
668. 25:34Uh-uh is actually no. So like I'll ask
669. 25:37you hey baby do you want chicken and
670. 25:38rice tonight? You're like uh-uh. I'm
671. 25:41like I know you do but you just said no
672. 25:44to me.
673. 25:45>> Yeah. And so like it's learning the
674. 25:49switch.
675. 25:49>> Yeah. The slangs and Yeah. Yeah.
676. 25:52>> And so like when And then also like when
677. 25:53I go Uh-huh. he thinks I'm asking him to
678. 25:56repeat it again that I'm confused.
679. 25:58>> Yeah.
680. 25:59>> And so he repeats it again and I get
681. 26:01irritated because I'm like I literally
682. 26:03just answered
683. 26:05>> and I'm like, "Oh, wait." Like it's a
684. 26:08lot of us having to stop and check
685. 26:10ourselves and become more humble and
686. 26:13understand that there are nuances and
687. 26:16differences in our communication.
688. 26:18>> Yeah. I think in our relationship,
689. 26:20patience
690. 26:22plays a really key role.
691. 26:23>> It does.
692. 26:24>> Patience towards everything.
693. 26:26>> Yes, it does. Like things that another
694. 26:30couple can get through like this,
695. 26:32it will take us longer just
696. 26:35communication wise. M
697. 26:37>> it takes us longer just to have a back
698. 26:39and forth conversation.
699. 26:40>> Mhm. I think it's same with every
700. 26:42multicultural couple out there.
701. 26:44>> It is. It's harder.
702. 26:45>> It's harder. Yeah, it's harder.
703. 26:46>> It's a lot harder.
704. 26:48>> Um but it's not something that we can't
705. 26:51navigate either
706. 26:52>> or cannot learn.
707. 26:53>> Right. Exactly.
708. 26:55>> It's it's also like we spent a lot of
709. 26:57our time long distance, so we are still
710. 27:01learning some of the things about each
711. 27:02other.
712. 27:03>> Exactly. Exactly. and like some of our
713. 27:05like nonverbal cues and things like
714. 27:07that. So,
715. 27:08>> and I think we never mentioned this that
716. 27:11we never dated
717. 27:13>> like in person.
718. 27:16>> We never we never went on dates.
719. 27:18>> Yeah.
720. 27:19>> Before before I proposed to you. I mean,
721. 27:22we went on like
722. 27:23>> a few
723. 27:23>> few dates, but not every other weekend
724. 27:26because we were in long distance.
725. 27:28>> No. So, our dates consisted of us
726. 27:31getting on Discord and streaming a movie
727. 27:34together.
728. 27:34>> Yeah.
729. 27:35>> And door dashing each other food.
730. 27:38>> And that that was our date. And we would
731. 27:41just talk.
732. 27:42>> We know each other to our cores because
733. 27:44we talked so much
734. 27:46>> all day.
735. 27:46>> All day every day.
736. 27:48>> Back and forth.
737. 27:48>> And then video calls before the bed
738. 27:51>> on our lunch breaks before bed in the
739. 27:55morning before going to work. We really
740. 27:57prioritized um communication while we
741. 27:59were long distance because it was well
742. 28:02like the only thing we had
743. 28:04>> while we were counting the days until we
744. 28:05could see each other again.
745. 28:06>> And on weekends we used to have um
746. 28:08conference call with our parents.
747. 28:11>> Yeah.
748. 28:12>> While we were at um while while we were
749. 28:15in a long distance but now that we are
750. 28:16living together we just we call my dad
751. 28:19or my mom.
752. 28:19>> Yeah.
753. 28:20>> Just we just talk to them. Mhm. And I
754. 28:22would say the most rewarding part about
755. 28:24marriage has been just having someone
756. 28:30unconditionally on your side. Like
757. 28:32having someone who's rooting for the
758. 28:34best for you always, no matter what.
759. 28:37Even if I'm not operating out 100% right
760. 28:41now. Like even if I'm a little bit moody
761. 28:44or snoody or whatever, we navigate that
762. 28:47really really well. like within I would
763. 28:51say like 5 10 minutes
764. 28:53>> we can turn something completely around.
765. 28:56>> Mhm.
766. 28:56>> So it's having that person who's like by
767. 28:59your side.
768. 29:00>> Yeah.
769. 29:00>> And I love like the times like right
770. 29:03before we go to bed when we're just like
771. 29:05laying in bed together laughing,
772. 29:08cuddling, like letting the stress of the
773. 29:10day just like wear off.
774. 29:11>> Our baby dogs.
775. 29:13>> Our baby. You guys,
776. 29:14>> our baby dogs is the best thing.
777. 29:15>> We are chronic. Okay, you're going to
778. 29:18judge us for this. We are chronic baby
779. 29:20talkers. We are. And I always judged
780. 29:22anyone. I was like, if you baby talk to
781. 29:24your spouse, that's a grown man.
782. 29:27>> What are you doing? But
783. 29:29>> but I think it's just love.
784. 29:30>> It's the level of love.
785. 29:32>> When you reach that level,
786. 29:34>> I I think it it can be a a sixth
787. 29:39love language. There are five, right?
788. 29:41>> Yeah.
789. 29:41>> So, it can be a sixth love language if
790. 29:43you
791. 29:44>> cuz why not? Like
792. 29:46>> baby talk.
793. 29:46>> Yeah, baby talk.
794. 29:47>> You guys, I love it. Unironically, I
795. 29:50love it. I love it in a way that's
796. 29:52really
797. 29:52>> I love it, too.
798. 29:56>> I love it.
799. 29:59>> It is what it is.
800. 30:00>> It is what it is, you know,
801. 30:03>> because I think you you can't be pissed.
802. 30:05You can't be mad or upset when you are
803. 30:07baby talking to your partner.
804. 30:09>> That is true.
805. 30:10>> There's no way.
806. 30:10>> That's true. It is the one quickest way
807. 30:14to get us to snap out of it.
808. 30:16>> Yeah.
809. 30:16>> Cuz it's just so cute and so wholesome.
810. 30:19>> Mhm.
811. 30:20>> Yeah.
812. 30:20>> Yeah.
813. 30:21>> Okay. So, we answered all of your
814. 30:23questions.
815. 30:24>> If you have more questions,
816. 30:26>> leave them in the comments below
817. 30:28>> or you can DM us on Instagram.
818. 30:29>> Yes. Jess and Obby.
819. 30:31>> Mhm.
820. 30:32>> And we will see you next week. And one
821. 30:34more thing, we are building our website
822. 30:36where we will share our story, but you
823. 30:39can always email us or drop your stories
824. 30:42and we can talk about you can talk about
825. 30:44it or we can give you some suggestions
826. 30:46how we deal with things as a
827. 30:48multicultural couple and we are also
828. 30:50open for suggestions.
829. 30:52>> Yes,
830. 30:53>> so you can also ask us questions if you
831. 30:56are struggling with your long-distance
832. 30:57relationship or your multicultural
833. 31:00relationship. You can ask us all of
834. 31:02those questions. Um, and we will help
835. 31:05you navigate the ins and outs cuz we are
836. 31:08at this point pros of long distance.
837. 31:10>> Yeah.
838. 31:11>> And so we're also pros now at um,
839. 31:14navigating short distance after long
840. 31:17distance.
841. 31:18>> After long distance,
842. 31:19>> but better than expected, I would say.
843. 31:22So, we will see you guys later.
844. 31:23>> Later. See you later.