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Sexual Compatibility Meets Sexual Tension | The Cutting Edge | CS Joseph — Transcript

by C.S. Joseph · 7,704 words · 1,159 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:01What's up, ego hackers? Welcome to the
0:04Cutting Edge podcast. I'm your host, CS
0:06Joseph, and this is episode for December
0:112021.
0:13We have got plenty of uh episodes within
0:18this podcast and I think we're over two
0:21years of doing the Cutting Edge podcast.
0:24So, um, this is kind of a pseudo
0:29response video. Um, but kind of not. Uh,
0:32it's just something that I've been
0:35dealing with amongst my coaching clients
0:37right now. It's also something that I've
0:39just been observing casually in real
0:42life. And I've had a lot of time um I've
0:47h I've had a lot of time to um
0:51reflect basically on on sexuality and
0:55kind of some of the nuances that come
0:57with it relating to cognitive
1:00synchronicity aka compatibility or
1:02cognitive asynchronicity aka
1:04camaraderie. And this really came as a
1:06result of reading a particular book and
1:08this is a book that I would recommend
1:11members uh to read and that is mating in
1:15captivity by Esther Peril and I think
1:18it's pel
1:21mating in captivity
1:23and I really wasn't able to come to
1:27these conclusions because she's
1:29providing an aspect of human nature
1:32which expresses itself through human
1:34nurture.
1:35but is not as easily defined in yian
1:40analytical psychology. We could define
1:42it and we could spend time defining it.
1:45The problem is is that that would
1:46potentially take away from the innate
1:49practicality of her work and what's
1:52actually being said. So, as a as a first
1:56um as a first point that I would like to
1:59make regarding this uh particular
2:01episode, please get yourselves a copy of
2:04Mating in Captivity by Esther Peril.
2:06That is the main uh source. Um that is
2:10basically what I'm going to be using in
2:11terms of this discussion. It is the main
2:13source and I really think everyone, man
2:17or woman, needs to be kind of aware of
2:19what this INFJ woman has to say about
2:22sexuality.
2:24Um, she she even ends up talking about
2:26hypergamy, even though she's not even
2:28aware that she's talking about
2:29hypergamy. This is just basically a non
2:32red pill source which ultimately
2:34confirms red pill truths. Although I'm
2:38not entirely a fan of like people think
2:41I'm an act or the student or a student
2:43of the uh the red pill and I'm honestly
2:46not. Um, I think the red pill is only a
2:49small percentage of the answer and
2:51there's so much more to to go along with
2:53uh the red pill because the red pill
2:56does not um specifically answer some of
2:59the issues that Esther Peril is actually
3:02talking about uh when it comes to uh you
3:05know mating in captivity. What happens
3:08to a relationship sexually when you're
3:11actually in a relationship?
3:13And this really boils down to, you know,
3:16some concepts such as needs versus
3:18wants. And this and please guys, when I
3:21say needs versus wants, you really need
3:23to pay attention here. Really really
3:25need to pay attention here. So let's
3:27let's let's put down the foundation a
3:29little bit here. So sexuality, where
3:32cognitively does sexuality actually come
3:34from? Like from a cognition point of
3:36view, the answer is perception
3:38functions. So that's your SE NI uh your
3:41nei
3:43functions that is uh that's ultimately
3:46where sexuality comes from. It doesn't
3:48come from decision-m functions. It is
3:50sourced in your perception functions.
3:53Perceiving. So you can perceive things
3:55that uh that attract you or other people
3:57can perceive you that you being
3:59attractive to them for them to have a
4:02sexual encounter with. It's all about
4:04perception functions. perception
4:06functions is where sexuality lives
4:08psychologically speaking. So with that
4:11being established
4:14um Esther Peril in her book starts
4:16talking about uh compatibility and
4:19incompatibility in a lot of interesting
4:22ways. It's so interesting because she is
4:24not aware that she's talking about
4:25cognitive synchronicity and she's not
4:26aware that she's talking about cognitive
4:27asynchronicity, but based on her
4:29observations, she's able to still come
4:31to the proper conclusions as a result of
4:34someone who would know about
4:36synchronicity and asynchronicity to be
4:38able to augment or optimize the best
4:40possible relationship that they could
4:42possibly have. Okay? And that's
4:45ultimately what most people who talk
4:48about MyersBriggs type indicator,
4:50Yungian analytical psychology,
4:51socionics, objective personality system,
4:54four sides dynamics, you know, CS
4:57Joseph, lol. Uh, you know, that's
5:00ultimately why
5:03people are
5:05getting into uh into this niche, into
5:09this this circle basically. And a lot of
5:12people like they don't even realize it
5:15like yeah like there's there's a bunch
5:17of niches. I mean people use uh yian
5:20analytical psychology for personal
5:22growth and self-discovery. That's
5:23usually the first thing they do but then
5:25they almost always make the jump to
5:27sexuality afterwards. I mean sometimes
5:30uh they do parenting uh sometimes uh
5:33they do business uh or workrelated uh
5:36psychology strategies but ultimately
5:39it's about self-discovery, personal
5:41growth and sexuality. Those are the main
5:43things and then like secondary is
5:45business or parenting after the fact in
5:47terms of how to best use the psychology
5:49for practical application in their life.
5:52And uh and that's and a lot of people
5:54ask me it's like okay so why do you
5:55spend so much time talking about sex and
5:58like this is why it's because that's
6:00what people want to talk about. That's
6:02what they want to talk about. They want
6:03to know how it works. They want to know
6:04why it works. They want to know why it's
6:06important etc. So ultimately like it it
6:11is important and people think I'm crazy
6:14when I say that you know sexuality is
6:16the most important thing in a
6:17relationship. Now, often times the
6:18people that disagree with me are well,
6:20let's just say obese women um that
6:22usually disagree with me on that. Uh but
6:25the reality of the situation is is if a
6:27man is not getting his sexual needs met
6:29in a relationship, he has every right to
6:31cheat on you. In fact, I would encourage
6:32him to cheat on you. Um and I would tell
6:34him how to do it and how to do it best
6:36and how I would even tell him how to
6:37hide it from you. If you're a woman uh
6:40who's not meeting your man's sexual
6:42needs and if you're not even giving him
6:43enthusiastic sex, I would I would also
6:46recommend he cheat on you too. Um if
6:48you're not giving him enthusiastic sex
6:50because, you know, sexuality is
6:52ultimately a woman's role within a
6:56sexual relationship first and foremost
6:58because sexuality is a woman's only
6:59actual real agency. Um whereas men, it's
7:03it's it's a bit different. This is why
7:05no one really cares that much about
7:06women and their careers. uh in their
7:09career life, but they do care about
7:11men's career life. Um but in terms of
7:14like women, they care about okay, are
7:15they healthy? Do they have body fat? Uh
7:17or um are they able to produce children?
7:21It's all do they look good? Are they
7:22taking care of themselves? What's their
7:24hair look like? Etc. It's really just
7:26from a sexual situation. And that's why
7:28society treats women like sex objects
7:32and men treat uh and society treats men
7:35like success objects which is ultimately
7:38how each of the uh the sexes treat each
7:41other. Men naturally treat women like
7:43sex objects and women naturally treat
7:45men like success objects. That's why
7:48that happens. Okay. But the situation is
7:51is that as much as we could talk about
7:53seduction and getting into
7:55relationships, there is an aspect or a
7:57risk that comes into play when it comes
7:59to maintaining relationships. Because
8:03the entire seduction process is all
8:06about wants. It's all about desire. But
8:08the thing is is that when you finally
8:10have a committed relationship to the
8:12point where you're actually like
8:13considering each other members of your
8:15family, family you choose instead of
8:18family you inherit, right? Well, that
8:20family you choose ends up actually being
8:24more so focused on needs and not
8:27necessarily wants. That doesn't mean
8:29that the wants are any less important.
8:32It's just that it's like it's like all
8:34of a sudden a a new side of your mind
8:36has awoken and you're able to cognitive
8:38transition into that side of your mind
8:40more often. It's like when the
8:41relationship like they have a bunch of
8:44you know wants and those wants are being
8:46met at the very beginning and then
8:48because wants are being met then all of
8:49a sudden needs become important. They
8:52weren't important before, but all of a
8:53sudden they are important, especially as
8:55a result of an agreement to commitment
8:58or an agreement to exclusivity, which I
9:01don't recommend men agree to exclusivity
9:04at all in their sexual relationships,
9:06but if they do, uh they can do it from a
9:08wise uh perspective.
9:11So uh so anyway like you have to keep
9:16that in mind you know these these
9:18certain limitations these certain issues
9:20as a result. So but when it comes to
9:24when it comes to you know you have the
9:27relationship now you're you're there
9:29you're established but it really comes
9:32down to meeting each other's needs and
9:34that has to happen. The thing is is that
9:36each of the 16 types has a different set
9:39of needs. They can have similar needs,
9:41but it's still different per person. And
9:44then the water gets even more muddy when
9:47you consider cognitive focus or where is
9:49their area of cognitive development
9:51because we're going to talk about
9:51development versus focus uh a lot. And
9:54that's also going to be something um
9:57that is defined. I think we're going to
9:58be talking about development uh versus
10:01focus actually in the next cutting edge
10:04episode next month uh uh for January uh
10:072022. We're talking about focus versus
10:10development and why that is, you know,
10:12understanding that distinction is
10:14actually really important. Uh but
10:18you know, getting back on topic here, uh
10:21if you're not prepared to meet needs,
10:24you're you're going to lose your
10:25relationship. And that doesn't mean you
10:27can you don't you don't get to like not
10:29focus or at least provide not focus but
10:33you know still take care of wants like
10:35cuz the wants ultimately become a
10:37foundation and then the needs end up
10:39becoming the roof basically of your
10:42relationship. You can't have a
10:44relationship unless there's a solid
10:45foundation. will as as much as anyone
10:48would hate to admit it wants ultimately
10:50become the actual foundation of the
10:52relationship and the roof of the
10:54relationship is needs. And the reason
10:57why is because eventually it's going to
10:59get really stormy out there in life and
11:01there's going to be challenges to your
11:03actual relationship and you're not able
11:05to weather those storms with like for
11:07example a roof uh over your head etc. um
11:12you know a roof over your heads in terms
11:14of your relationship. Your relationship
11:16is ultimately going to fail and uh
11:19that's because you know of needs. Needs
11:21need to be met and needs get especially
11:23harder to meet when you start adding
11:26mouths that need to be fed you know
11:27within your family like children etc.
11:30That becomes an even bigger issue
11:32because you have multiple people's needs
11:35needing to be met and then sometimes
11:37wants can be ignored. So the foundation
11:39can get ignored while also the um
11:43um you know the roof is being ignored
11:46because you're trying to take care of
11:47children etc. And ultimately the
11:50relationship can fall apart. In Esther
11:51Peril's book mating in captivity she has
11:53a chapter calls when three threatens two
11:57that actually explains how and why
11:59having a child can actually cause a lot
12:02of problems in that area. So keep that
12:05in mind. Um,
12:08but that's still not the number one
12:10threat to relationships because
12:13sexuality is the most core component to
12:17a relationship uh to uh to a romantic or
12:20sexual relationship. Without sexuality,
12:22even even if you're married, it doesn't
12:24matter. Without sexuality, there there
12:25really is no relationship. This is why
12:27when if you were actually to file
12:29divorce, the date that you last had sex
12:32is actually considered the date of
12:34separation. you know, the day after the
12:36day you last had sex with your ex-wife
12:39or whatever with whoever you're
12:40divorcing. Um, the court actually
12:42considers that day uh to be the date of
12:45separation. Right? So that it's really
12:49fascinating and this is that's in
12:51California where they make that
12:52distinction where they make that
12:53consideration. Um so so
12:59with that with that being said, you
13:01know, even the government admits that
13:03sexuality is the most important thing in
13:05any relationship. And if you deny that,
13:07you're out of your mind. Uh like you're
13:10you're ignorant and at risk of causing a
13:12lot of problems. You're also at risk at
13:14increasing the problem of fatherlessness
13:16and making the world a worse place. So I
13:18suggest you kind of figure that out. But
13:21Esther Peril actually goes on within her
13:23book a little bit more and honestly
13:27identifies a bigger threat to the
13:32relationship because it directly
13:33threatens the quality of sexuality
13:36within a sexual relationship itself.
13:39And the answer what is this threat if
13:42you're going to ask me? Well, the threat
13:43is the following. It is called
13:46closeness.
13:48Closeness.
13:51Closeness is the biggest threat to
13:53sexuality in a relationship. Now, if you
13:57were to go with me and watch the Disney
13:59film Robin Hood, uh the cartoon with the
14:02foxes and whatnot, very cute. Uh the uh
14:06the lady in waiting who is with uh made
14:08Marian another lady in waiting
14:11technically um made Marion uh she gets
14:16taught you know well absence makes the
14:18heart grow fonder right absence makes
14:20the heart grow fonder. That is basically
14:23an old cliche or an old adage that
14:26people utilize to actually state that
14:29the truth that closeness is what
14:31actually ends up destroying sexuality
14:33within a sexual relationship.
14:36And but why is this relevant? Why is
14:38this relevant to like you know a union
14:41analytical psychologist? Why is this
14:43like like what if I have a golden pair?
14:45What if I have a silver pair? What if I
14:47have a bronze pair? What if I have a
14:48super ego enigma relationship? basically
14:52what happens there? What happens if I
14:54have a pedagogue? What happens if I have
14:56a benefactor relationship? Right? So,
14:59you have all these different kinds of
15:00sexual relationships. And there's even
15:02more more kinds of sexual relationships
15:05other than that, right? There's there's
15:07a lot more. Um, but the reality of the
15:10situation is those are like the main
15:12sexual relationships that we see most
15:14people get into. Um, so if they're going
15:18all in on compatibility, they're going
15:20to do their gold and silver uh bronze
15:23pairs straight up and then they're going
15:25to follow it up with either a pedagogue
15:27or benefactor relationship straight up.
15:29And those are usually the five the top
15:31five pairs that most people engage in
15:35when it comes to having committed or
15:37exclusive sexual relationships,
15:39including marriage. basically with the
15:42bronze pair being the most common for
15:44marriage uh for the most part for the
15:47absolute most common. I say the second
15:50most common would be pedagogue for
15:52marriage. Third most common would
15:54probably be benefactor
15:57followed by uh golden pair and then
16:00silver pair in that order. It's kind of
16:03fascinating how that works. Very
16:05fascinating how that works. Um but
16:07there's a lot of reasons for that. And
16:09if you're actually going to discuss
16:10cognitive synchronicity versus cognitive
16:12asynchronicity, compatibility versus
16:15camaraderie, basically if you're going
16:17to be discussing those two ends of the
16:19spectrum, most people, especially people
16:22with here within the CSJ community, are
16:24so like focused on uh golden and silver
16:28and bronze pairs um that they don't even
16:31look at the other relationships or even
16:34consider their benefits to the point
16:36where it's lame. and actually ends up
16:39causing a lot more problems. I mean,
16:42particularly and I and I state this in
16:43an upcoming lecture that hasn't released
16:45yet is that um
16:50uh you know, I've noticed a pattern.
16:52This is me bagging on NTJ women again.
16:55Uh but and maybe maybe because the ENTJ
16:58women are actually more vocal about it.
17:01It's probably I think the problem is
17:02probably just as bad with the NTJ men.
17:04They just don't talk about it that much.
17:06Um, but ENTJs have this problem where
17:11they're all about optimization, right?
17:13And I know a few ENTJs that are my
17:15coaching clients that which and these
17:16people absolutely refuse to be in a
17:21relationship with someone who is not
17:22their golden pair because from their
17:24point of view, they want the best. They
17:27want golden pair or nothing. Basically,
17:30that's what they want. and they they
17:32really end up closing doors in their
17:36life and losing out on opportunities
17:38because they're so obsessed with the
17:39golden pair. But let's imagine for a
17:42second that they actually do get the
17:43golden pair. They get their highest
17:45highs, lowest lows. They have everything
17:47they've ever wanted in a person, but do
17:50they have everything they needed in a
17:52person? See, that's the issue. So, they
17:55end up being fantastic lovers. And right
17:57now it is nowadays within Western
17:59society. Marriage is nothing more than
18:02you just publicly throwing your hands up
18:03and saying, "Okay, we're sexually
18:05compatible." I'm quot I'm quoting Rolo
18:07Tamasi when I say that. That was not my
18:09original idea. I took that right off of
18:11his podcast. Um and uh and I don't often
18:15listen to his podcast. It's just little
18:18random clips here and there that I'm
18:19inclined to watch on YouTube suggested
18:22videos, etc. It's not like I listen to
18:24him every day or every episode cuz I
18:27don't. I probably have maybe watched
18:29maybe a half a percent of his content,
18:32you know, that's out there and
18:33available. But um these ENTJs, they just
18:37get obsessed with the golden pair.
18:39They're all about their wants. But, you
18:41know, just like ENTJs, ENTJs lack SI,
18:44like especially INTJs, they're SI demon,
18:46for example. So, these ENTJs, they
18:48always are all about their wants and
18:50they completely ignore their needs. They
18:52completely ignore the need much to the
18:53detriment of other people. And because
18:56of this, you know, you can really look
18:57at uh golden pairs, you know, as
19:01basically as a type where it's mostly
19:04just lovers or a twin flame or just, you
19:07know, but but it doesn't last forever.
19:09It really doesn't. People just don't
19:12marry their golden pair. Yet, these NTJ
19:15women are obsessed with their, you know,
19:17getting with their golden pairs, etc.
19:18People just don't marry them. They just
19:20don't. They're like they're down to
19:22[ __ ] They're down to have a an amazing
19:26uh desirous uh flaming romantic uh
19:30relationship with lots of passion. But
19:32as soon as it gets past as soon as the
19:34time for like commitment starts coming
19:36around uh and all of a sudden you know
19:39we everyone's wants are being met here
19:41but when it comes to actually having
19:42needs being met all of a sudden the
19:45golden pair becomes impractical
19:48and then they end up breaking up and you
19:51know the the woman lose respect for the
19:53man or the man is not being loving
19:55enough to the woman. The the bottom line
19:57is that needs are just not being met.
20:01Therefore, the golden pair ends up
20:03getting stuck in the um lover category
20:07and does not very often actually lead to
20:10long-term commitment or marriage. And
20:13it's so funny to me to watch these NTJs
20:16within the CSJ community going out of
20:19their way. absolutely going out of their
20:22way trying to make sure um that uh
20:30uh you know that they they end up you
20:32know being with you know my soulmates
20:34you know and it's so funny because it's
20:35always the NTJs that especially NTJ men
20:38that actually end up believing in the
20:40soulmate myth anyway and you know and
20:42even like the the Fi child of the NTJ
20:45women also end up believing in the
20:48soulmate myth as well and whether or not
20:50they say it with their words, it doesn't
20:52matter. The reality of the situation is
20:53is because they're so obsessed with
20:55their golden pair and that level of
20:57obsession that they have
20:59um that's ultimately
21:03um
21:06that that it's it's it's ultimately
21:08proof positive that they honestly just
21:13they honestly cannot
21:16let go of the soulmate myth. Their
21:17actions are proving that they can't let
21:20go of the soulmate method, especially
21:21since they're so obsessed with the
21:22golden pair. But within Esther Peril's
21:25book, Mating in Captivity, she actually
21:27has a huge warning for people, warning
21:30for her readers when it comes to the
21:32golden pair. She warns that the golden
21:34pair actually carries with it the tools
21:38of the destruction of the relationship.
21:40She maintains that the golden pair
21:42itself is actually the most likely uh of
21:46the relationships for people to come
21:48together, but people to leave just as
21:50quickly as they come together, which has
21:52definitely been my experience throughout
21:55my personal life within my sexual
21:58relationships with my golden pair. Every
22:00time I have a sexual relationship with
22:01an INTJ, it's super it's super hot. It's
22:05super fast, super passionate. We're just
22:08like all over each other all the time
22:10and then all of a sudden that's it. It's
22:13over. The flame burned out and we've
22:15just moved on for some reason. And it's
22:19really really difficult uh for golden
22:22pairs to keep each other in the long
22:24run. It's not impossible. It's just
22:26difficult. Granted, you know, my um my
22:30wife's uh grandparents is an ENTP and an
22:34INTJ,
22:36etc. But still, it takes it takes a lot
22:39of
22:41effort uh to keep a golden pair
22:44relationship. It really does. But why?
22:47Why? Well, guess what, folks? It also
22:50takes a lot of effort to keep a silver
22:53pair relationship. And it also takes,
22:56you know, not as much effort, but uh a
22:59decent amount of effort for a bronze
23:00pair. And also the same amount of effort
23:03it takes to keep a golden pair, it would
23:06also take to maintain an uh a super ego
23:11enigma pair as well. Why is this? Why is
23:14this happening?
23:16Did you know it's actually easier to
23:19maintain a pedagogue relationship or a
23:21benefactor relationship? A lot easier
23:25than the other relationships. It's a lot
23:28easier. It's insanely easier. It is so
23:32much easier to maintain a benefactor
23:34relationship and a pedagogue
23:36relationship than it is to maintain a
23:39gold, silver, or bronze or super ego
23:42relationship. Absolutely easier. Um why
23:47why what is it that Esther Peril
23:50actually discovered when it came to uh
23:52her studies into sexual relationships
23:54and sexuality? What was it? What was it?
23:59Well, the answer is the threat of
24:01closeness. The higher compatibility, the
24:04higher synchronicity that you have
24:06within your sexual relationship, the
24:09higher risk you have of becoming very
24:12close to the other person. And closeness
24:15itself actually challenges sexuality
24:19directly. Sexuality is ultimately a
24:22negative thing. If you think about it,
24:24it's like a negative force. It can be
24:26very violent. It can be very ravishing.
24:29It can be very forceful, very sudden,
24:32very powerful, very passionate, very
24:34desirous, etc. Uh, if you want to have
24:37the hot monkey sex and you're not
24:38getting hot monkey sex in your
24:40synchronous compatible relationship,
24:42it's because, as Esther Peril realized
24:45and discovered and shared with everybody
24:47within her with her readers that uh and
24:50has the studies to back it up, read her
24:52book. It's because they got too close.
24:55Compatible sexual relationships get too
24:59close. And the golden pair has the
25:02highest risk of all of the 16 types of
25:05getting too close the quickest. They get
25:09way too close the quickest. And because
25:13of that, it ends up causing a lot of
25:16problems for the relationship. And in my
25:18opinion, this is why when I say the
25:21highest highs and the lowest lows, while
25:23that is what I have observed and
25:25experienced with golden pairs in my life
25:28and within my coaching practice, I never
25:30could actually really say why or
25:34articulate it in a way that would make
25:36sense to most people.
25:39And the the reason the reason why uh
25:44with that articulation
25:46um I I just didn't understand the I just
25:49didn't understand how closeness the more
25:52closeness you have within a sexual
25:54relationship. The more apart uh each of
25:57the two people would become when it uh
26:00when it comes to sexuality. Like your
26:03woman is not going to have any desire to
26:04have hot monkey sex with you if she
26:06feels really close to you. Because if
26:08you're really really close to you, she's
26:10going to start treating you like a
26:11brother or she's going to start treating
26:13you like a son. She's not really going
26:15to treat you like a lover. A lover is
26:19all about intrigue. It's all about the
26:21possibility that he might be with
26:23somebody else. He might be [ __ ] some
26:25other girl on the side or he might this
26:27or he might this or he might not want me
26:29anymore. And that is all about fear.
26:32There's a fear there, a fear of loss, a
26:35fear of we might not be able to be
26:37together again next time. And that fear
26:40is also known as tension. So I'm going
26:44to define uh sexual tension right now
26:48for the audience so that you folks can
26:50understand how that works. So that is
26:54quote the tension between two people who
26:56want to do something sexual together but
26:58they end up holding back. Um, and then
27:02looking at uh tension itself, tension
27:05similar to sexual tension is when
27:06awkwardness is building up between two
27:08people or in a situation
27:12and uh going over to dictionary.com
27:14where we will look up the word tension
27:16from there. Uh an act of stretching or
27:19straining which is a negative thing. The
27:21state of being stretched or strained
27:22which is a negative thing. mental or
27:24emotional strain, intense, suppressed,
27:29suspense, anxiety or excitement, a
27:32strain relationship between individuals,
27:34groups, nations, etc. Uh pressure.
27:38Uh these this is tension. Okay? But it
27:42really comes from suspense or anxiety.
27:46The closer you are to somebody in a
27:48relationship, the more benal it gets.
27:50The more boring it is, the more you're
27:53able to anticipate all of their
27:54behaviors and guess everything that they
27:56do. Guess their schedule. They're
27:58predictable. The more predictable they
28:01are, the closer you are. And you can't
28:03understand how predictable someone is in
28:06a sexual relationship unless you're
28:07close to them. This is why a golden pair
28:10for example and a silver pair, bronze
28:12pair and a super ego relationship. Those
28:14four which have top four highest
28:16compatibility with all of the types on
28:20paper. Basically those four
28:22relationships they carry the highest
28:24risk of getting closest to each other
28:28which because it is the closest there is
28:31no suspense
28:34there is uh no intensity
28:37there is no anxiety because everything
28:39is predictable and because of that there
28:42is no excitement. Therefore, you know,
28:46in a sexual relationship, your woman is
28:48more likely not to want to orgasm then
28:51because you're boring. Because there's
28:53nothing interesting about you because of
28:54how predictable you are. That's the
28:56reality. She gets so close to you that
28:59she is able to predict your behavior
29:01because she knows you so well. There's
29:03no more mystery, mystery, and suspense
29:06and anxiety and excitement. These are
29:08the things that are required to keep
29:11attraction. These are required to keep a
29:14sexual relationship fresh. This is why I
29:16maintain the that coatry is the absolute
29:19most powerful of the seductive styles
29:22and it is my seductive style. Awesome.
29:26Because coats can actually create
29:29tension on demand which is absolutely
29:32fantastic.
29:34So you could think about it this way.
29:36The golden pair and the silver pair and
29:39the bronze pair and the super ego pair
29:42are the pairs that have the least
29:46anxiety, the least suspense, and thus
29:50are the least exciting. They are the
29:53least exciting. They're really exciting
29:55at the beginning, but over time they end
29:58up getting really boring because you
30:00know each other so well and you can read
30:02each other so well like a book that it
30:04completely
30:06just it it makes you predictable. It
30:09completely destroys all sexual desire
30:11within the relationship. And ultimately
30:13is probably and this is an opinion of
30:16mine. The number one reason,
30:19the number one reason, this is just an
30:20opinion, this is a theory, theory. The
30:24number one reason why women end up
30:27filing for divorce when they are 36 and
30:2937 within the United States of America,
30:3280% of divorces initiated by women
30:34because women have just gotten too close
30:37to their compatible partner. Okay? With
30:41the bronze pair being the most likely
30:43marriage of them all. Why? Because often
30:46times in this fatherless culture, in
30:48this fatherless generation, people want
30:50their ego investments enabled. And what
30:55pair is more enabling than a bronze
30:57pair? There isn't one. Bronze pairs
31:00enable people the most. They don't
31:01disable them. They are enabled. And I
31:04mean enabled in a codependent unhealthy
31:06way. And that's why bronze pairs are the
31:10most common marriage. But women just end
31:13up getting to know that person. in the
31:15bronze pair. They're so predictable.
31:16There's no tension. There's no suspense
31:19because the woman is like, "Oh, there's
31:21no risk of him getting with another man.
31:23He'll always be with me. He's super
31:24loyal to me." Blah, blah, blah. And
31:26they're super comfortable and secure.
31:28The closer you get, the more secure you
31:31end up feeling in the relationship,
31:33folks. And the more secure you end up
31:35feeling within the relationship, sexual
31:37desire goes down. And this is
31:40essentially what Esther Peril was
31:43talking about within mating in
31:44captivity. This is a huge, huge risk.
31:49And I would like to take the time right
31:51now to [ __ ] on all of the NTJ women of
31:54the CSJ community who are obsessed with
31:56getting with their golden pair because
31:58they have no idea. But then in reality,
32:00they are setting themselves up for
32:01failure and that's their own damn fault.
32:05Okay.
32:07So, the reality of the situation is that
32:11you have to understand like yes,
32:14compatible relationships do work and
32:16people can make them work, but I
32:17guarantee you their quality of sex or
32:20their sex life is dog [ __ ] It's dog
32:23[ __ ] So, and it's it's a problem. It's
32:28a serious problem. And this problem is
32:30only going to get worse over time for
32:32each of the couples. And this is why you
32:34just don't see that many golden pairs
32:37actually together because they're the
32:38ones who can read each other like a book
32:40and get to know each other so fast and
32:42they have all of their cards out on the
32:44table so fast mostly because the other
32:46person can read their hand and know what
32:49cards are in the other person's hand
32:50because they know the other person's
32:52tells basically if they're playing poker
32:54for example they know each other so well
32:56they already have and they reach that
32:57state of closeness so quickly that they
33:01end up not able to maintain the
33:03relationship. ship. And folks, let's be
33:05honest, this is why I have ultimately
33:07broken up with every single INTJ woman
33:10in my life with the exception of one one
33:14my last INTJ girlfriend, she just got
33:16super mega jealous because she didn't
33:18want me talking to other girls,
33:19especially rail gun, cuz she knew I was
33:21talking to the side and she got super
33:23jealous of that. And I didn't care. I'm
33:27going to still talk to you. I do
33:28whatever the [ __ ] I want, you know? But
33:30she had a problem with it. She got
33:31jealous and she demanded that uh I have
33:35an exclusive sexual relationship with
33:37her. And I told her there's no way I'm
33:38going to have an exclusive relationship
33:41with a woman who is 17 years older than
33:43me. That's ridiculous. And that's not
33:45going to happen. No thank you. You know,
33:48it's like, "Sorry, lady, but you're a
33:50mistress. You're not a wife." So, you
33:53know, and and that's and that's just,
33:56you know, one of the hard aspects of
33:58life that people just have to realize.
34:00That's what's going to happen. But, you
34:02know, these these these people in the
34:04CHJ community are just completely
34:06obsessed with finding their golden pair.
34:08I just have no choice but to laugh at
34:10them because they're literally setting
34:11themselves up for failure and they have
34:13no idea why. If you want to find out
34:14why, well, it's closeness. Closeness is
34:17destroying their sexual relationships.
34:19Closeness. And Esther Peril explains why
34:22in her book Mating in Captivity. But
34:24Esther Peril also provides a solution. A
34:27solution to the problem. And the
34:30solution is sexual tension. And you can
34:32introduce sexual tension into a
34:34relationship willfully or that sexual
34:38tension can already exist within the
34:40relationship naturally.
34:42So how do you naturally
34:46and add sexual tension? Well, the answer
34:49to that is you need to look at things
34:52this way. Cognitive synchronicity
34:56aka compatibility is what brings
35:00closeness to a relationship.
35:03Cognitive asynchronicity
35:06aka camaraderie
35:09is what brings
35:11um sexual
35:14tension to a relationship.
35:18Okay.
35:20Camaraderie is actually the source of
35:22tension, whereas compatibility is a
35:25source of closeness. And all these NTJ
35:27women are clamoring for closeness and
35:29they think that's what they want. And
35:32then all of a sudden they're the one
35:33filing for divorce and they hit
35:34development phase and they're 36 37
35:36years old and being exactly what Rol
35:40Tamasi predicts them to be. And these
35:42women are so solystic that they can't
35:44even understand that that that is the
35:46ultimate consequence of their decision.
35:49I laugh so many times. They tell me,
35:51"Well, you're not a woman, so you don't
35:52know women. You don't know how it
35:53works." And then I'm like, "Okay, ENTJ
35:55girls, why don't you explain to me the
35:57last time you seduced an ENTP woman?
36:02When's the last time you seduced a
36:03woman?" Oh, wait. You didn't. Because
36:05you don't. You see? So, you don't have
36:08any experience. This is why women can't
36:10teach men about relationships
36:12right there. They don't even know what
36:14they're talking about. Women don't know
36:15what they're talking about. So asking a
36:17woman about advice about relationships
36:18is a real waste of time, men. So don't
36:21do it.
36:22So based on that, you got to get to a
36:26point. You got to get to a point where
36:29you understand what's at risk. The
36:31higher compatible of a relationship
36:33you're going to have, the higher the
36:35more closeness you're going to have,
36:36which is less sexual tension. So while
36:38sexuality may be really really great in
36:40the beginning, it's going to end. That
36:43awesome sexual height that you have
36:45pre-exclusivity,
36:47pre-commitment, etc. It's going to be
36:49end. It's be fleeting. It's be gone.
36:51It's going to be gone unless you can
36:53come up with a way to either manually
36:56introduce tension or a way that you make
36:58sure that there is natural tension
37:00coming within the relationship. And the
37:02only way to get natural tension within
37:04the relationship is that you have
37:05natural camaraderie as a result of
37:08cognitive functions. Okay. So how do you
37:10get that natural camaraderie? Well,
37:14in comes the pedagogue relationship. The
37:17pedagogue relationship is what I
37:19personally maintain. It is the absolute
37:22best relationship sexually for any
37:25person to be in. Why? one because they
37:27have highest sexual compatibility, can
37:30have absolute total uh sexual closeness
37:34with their cognitive functions. All of
37:36their sexual functions line up basically
37:38and it is awesome, which means they
37:40always have the highest potential for
37:42the best sex in a relationship.
37:45Um but they also have very high
37:48decisionmaking camaraderie which means
37:52they are completely incompatible when it
37:54comes to decision-m which means like for
37:57example my pedagogue is an INFJ. The
38:00INFJ is all about what they think and
38:03they're not really good listeners. Ergo
38:05I'm not a really good listener either
38:06because te critic and INFJs have this
38:09problem. If I leave them alone for too
38:11long, all of the people that are
38:13whispering into their ear, they're just
38:15going to listen to those people and
38:16become part of an echo chamber instead
38:18of verify anything and actually go to
38:21like the opposite people that are not
38:23around them because they just with their
38:25TE trickster just assume everyone thinks
38:28that way. No, that's not true at all.
38:31They need to actually bother to come to
38:32me and ask me what I think so that I
38:34could counter what the [ __ ] crowd is
38:36telling them in their ear. something
38:38that a lot of INFJs out there are
38:41incapable of doing and the mature ones
38:43have figured that out. So, they need to
38:45actually go to the other side of the
38:47argument and actually research it and
38:49ingest all of the other side of the
38:50argument, the negative side of the
38:52argument compared to the little
38:53positives that those people within their
38:55friends group are telling them.
38:58This is why, you know, like if I was in
39:01a relationship with an INFJ, the last
39:02time I was in a sexual relationship with
39:03an INFJ and and she had a lot of
39:05friends, I'd always ask her what her
39:07friends were talking about because I
39:08knew there'd be a lot of [ __ ] that
39:09I'd have to debunk every time she went
39:11out with her friends. And if I didn't
39:14debunk it, she'd just like become a
39:16[ __ ] problem later every [ __ ]
39:18time. It's so annoying. Anyway, at least
39:21the sex was
39:24so um so regardless of that situation
39:29like you got to be really aware of, you
39:34know, that that level of consequence. Um
39:38so the pedagogue relationship because it
39:41has that incompatibility with the
39:43decision-making functions, they are
39:44wholly incompatible. That is what
39:46introduces an aspect of tension through
39:50conflict. They it the the the
39:52decision-making incompatibility of the
39:54pedagogue relationship introduces a lot
39:56of conflict and that conflict creates
39:59tension.
40:00If you're not having good fights in your
40:03relationship, you will not have good sex
40:05and the sexuality of your relationship
40:06will die. If you have a relationship
40:09where you never fight, that is actually
40:11a sign of an unhealthy sexual
40:13relationship. You might want to get that
40:15fixed. Both people need to learn how to
40:17actually be honest with one another and
40:20actually need to be willing to create
40:21conflict within your relationship. This
40:24is why women areos are supposed to be
40:27biologically programmed to do so by
40:29challenging the masculine whenever they
40:31[ __ ] test a man. [ __ ] testing is they
40:34just behave in an odd way just to test
40:36whether or not their man is masculine
40:38enough. Because a woman will naturally
40:40through her hypergamous nature when
40:42she's in a committed relationship will
40:44always ask herself, "Well, could have I
40:46have done better?" So then she'll start
40:48acting like a [ __ ] towards her man to
40:50see whether or not, you know, he's
40:52strong enough to deal with her
40:54bitchiness. And if he is, it proves to
40:56her, "Oh yeah, he is masculine. I did
40:58make the right choice." And then she
40:59moves on from it. Whatever. All the
41:01while her man gets pissed off that he
41:03was [ __ ] tested to begin with. But it's
41:05that [ __ ] testing that creates conflict.
41:07It also creates sexual tension. There
41:10are times where I'm yelling, veins
41:12bulging, cussing out my wife, uh, and ad
41:15hommining her until like, you know, 4 in
41:18the morning, but then we have a great
41:19[ __ ] immediately following. You see,
41:22that's why because it's just building up
41:24tension. Having that decision-m
41:27incompatibility
41:29leads to sexual tension. that tension
41:33necessary to have that hot monkey sex
41:36because the fight itself gets so
41:38strenuous, so strained, so passionate,
41:41so upsetting that the relationship may
41:43even end. And that increases desire and
41:46increases attraction, for example.
41:48Right? So, if you're not fighting in
41:50your sexual relationship, you have a bad
41:52relationship.
41:53So, you're going to have to learn how to
41:55introduce sexual tension. So, so men
41:58it's very easy um for you to introduce
42:01sexual tension. Let's say you are in a
42:03gold, silver, bronze or a super ego
42:06relationship. It's very easy to
42:07introduce sexual tension. All you have
42:09to do is just start giving attention to
42:11other women in front of your woman.
42:12That's all you have to do which will
42:14eventually lead to fights which will
42:15eventually lead to conflict and tension
42:17and then more sex because you're
42:20reintroducing susp suspense into your
42:23relationship and anxiety. you're taking
42:26away your woman's uh desire for secure
42:29or she has her desire for security but
42:30you're taking away her security for from
42:33within the relationship. And when she
42:34feels insecure, that's when the hot
42:37monkey sex comes back. Why is that?
42:39Here's another example. You know, when a
42:42woman before you marry a woman, for
42:44example, she's going to have hot monkey
42:45sex with you all the time because she's
42:47still technically in the dating phase.
42:48It's still technically the sexual
42:50marketplace. when she gets married, it's
42:52as if she's cashed out of the sexual
42:53marketplace and she doesn't have to
42:54compete with other women. So men, all
42:56you have to do is reintroduce
42:59competition within your marriage. Make
43:02sure your wife understands that she has
43:04to compete with your attention for the
43:06attention of other women, even though
43:08you're not married to them. Oh well, I'm
43:11very upfront with my wife. I will point
43:13out other beautiful women to her in
43:15public. I'll even tell her if I'm more
43:17attracted to other women I see in public
43:19than her. I don't care how bad it makes
43:22her feel because the reality of the
43:24situation is she needs to perform better
43:26and that increases competition. So my
43:29wife needs to understand that she has to
43:31compete with other women for my
43:33attention because if she's not, she's
43:35being a shitty wife honestly. So that's
43:39not going to work. So men understand
43:42like you have to take the responsibility
43:44of reintroducing sexual tension within
43:46your relationship if you don't have a
43:48natural uh tension coming from uh
43:51incompatibility like in a pedagogue
43:53relationship and I'm just using that
43:55relationship as an example. You have to
43:56find out how to destroy her security,
43:59reintroduce anxiety, reintroduce
44:01suspense. And if you're a crusader, a
44:03Templar man, stop feeling guilty about
44:05it because recognize that's what you
44:06have to do anyway. Otherwise, you're
44:07going to be unhappy. And when you're
44:09unhappy, guess what? She's going to be
44:10unhappy. She ain't going to be orgasming
44:11at all. She's she's too close to you
44:13anyway. She's just going to divorce your
44:15ass and use your money to get her new
44:16bolt-ons, you know, her new her new new
44:18her new pair of tits, maybe get her ass
44:20done or whatever, and then leave you for
44:22some other schlub. Okay? So, maybe you
44:25should stop feeling guilty and start
44:27reintroducing anxiety and suspense
44:28within your relationship so you can
44:30actually keep the sexual tension up. And
44:33you especially have to do this for your
44:36golden, silver, bronze, or super ego
44:39relationships. Especially those four.
44:41You don't have to do it as much for the
44:44super ego relationship, but you
44:45absolutely have to do it. And you have
44:47to do it the most for the golden pair.
44:50Hands down, you have to do it the most
44:52for the golden pair. Good luck. It's
44:55going to be difficult,
44:57but you just do it. You just do it. You
45:00have no choice because as soon as
45:03because if you get in your comfort zone
45:04and then your woman gets all super
45:06secure in her position within this
45:08exclusive or committed relationship,
45:11sexual frequency go down. Quality of sex
45:14goes down. She's going to let her body
45:15go. She's not going to take care of
45:17herself, not take care of her body
45:19because her beauty is literally your
45:20reward. What you as a man get out of the
45:23relationship basically and she's not
45:25going to give it to you anymore. You
45:26have to keep your woman in a consistent
45:28state of suspense and anxiety so that
45:31she understands that literally at any
45:33moment she can lose you. And if that's
45:35the case, she'll compete and work a lot
45:38harder to be in a relationship and be
45:41sexual with you. It will lead to
45:42enthusiastic sex. This is how
45:44enthusiastic sex actually happens. This
45:46is how sexual compatibility is augmented
45:50uh by uh decision-making incompatibility
45:54through camaraderie. Okay, this is why I
45:57maintain that the pedagogue relationship
46:00is the absolute best. You get all of the
46:02sexual benefit pluses from highest
46:04sexual compatibility like you would a
46:06golden pair, but you get all the tension
46:08as a result of conflict because of the
46:11decision-making functions being just
46:13camaraderie.
46:15And you know, and it leads to conflict,
46:17but that conflict is absolutely
46:19necessary within a sexual relationship.
46:22And that's just how it works. If if you
46:25can't come to that conclusion, I don't
46:27know what else to say because this
46:29literally is the truth. This is the
46:31truth. There is no better way to say it.
46:36Like like you know, you have to be
46:39willing to reintroduce suspense.
46:43So
46:44anyway, um
46:47okay.
46:50So I think I've driven that point home.
46:52So that would be the end of uh cutting
46:54edge with CSJ.

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