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Sexual Artistry 2.0 Masterclass — Transcript

by Juliet Allen - Sexologist · 14,350 words · 2,226 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00Yay. Look at all these beautiful people
0:02coming in. Welcome, welcome, welcome.
0:05All right, we'll just Oh, it's already
0:0710:04. Amazing. Okay, let's get started.
0:13All right, it has been a busy morning
0:15for me. Well, I've had the last couple
0:18of hours to chill, but anyone else who
0:21is a parent knows what it's like with
0:22two littleies who wake up early and
0:26demand food and all the things. Um, but
0:29I'm here and I'm so excited to be here
0:31with you guys. [sighs and gasps]
0:34All righty. So, welcome to Sexual
0:35Artistry
0:372.0. I've run this master class before
0:40and it was a huge success and it I
0:43honestly I can say this is my favorite
0:46master class. It's um there's so much
0:49gold in it that you will take away from
0:51today. You will get the replay. So, if
0:54you're if you're one of those people who
0:56learn by writing stuff down and you want
0:58to like really get it, make sure you
1:01watch the replay again. Cuz what I
1:03personally find for myself when I'm
1:05watching things is if I watch it again
1:07or listen to it again, I often learn
1:09things that I missed the first time. Um,
1:12so yeah, you feel free to do that. Let's
1:16just admit more people in.
1:19We're here for 90 minutes today.
1:2390 minutes and we're going to have so
1:27much fun. Now, I want to let you know
1:29before we start, there's not going to be
1:32any participatory exercises for couples
1:36that are going to put you in a position
1:38where you feel awkward or uncomfortable
1:41if you're here with your partner. Right?
1:44I just want to let you know that now
1:45because some people will come with their
1:47partner and they feel a bit nervous.
1:49They're like, "Oh my god, what's she
1:50going to make us do? Are we getting
1:51naked? What are we, you know, like, is
1:53she going to make us look at each other
1:54the whole time? No. What I want you to
1:57do is take a big breath right now. I
1:59know some of you may be feeling
2:02uh anxious or nervous or excited. No
2:05matter how you're feeling, it's all
2:07welcome in this space. I understand that
2:09sometimes these topics can bring up a
2:12lot, especially if you're coming with
2:14someone who you love, who you want
2:16better sex with, that you want more
2:18connection with, and um it's bringing a
2:21bit of tension into the relationship.
2:23So, big breath in and out. Relax. You're
2:26safe here. I'm not going to make you do
2:28anything crazy today. That's up to you
2:31as to whether you want to do that
2:32afterwards.
2:34All right. I would love to hear from
2:36everyone. Where are you tuning in from
2:39in the world? Where are you? I have
2:41people all over the globe who join me
2:43and I'd love to hear where you're tuning
2:45in from. I would also love to hear you
2:48share your relationship status. So, are
2:50you single? Are you in a relationship,
2:53married? Um, what's I just want to get a
2:57vibe of everyone in the room and and who
2:59I'm speaking to, and u where you're at
3:02in life. I'm going to
3:07Hello. Oh my gosh, so many people. Yes,
3:11Gold Coast. Yay. Welcome. I used to live
3:13on the Gold Coast. Toronto, New Zealand,
3:17Adelaide,
3:21Tumba, married
3:25San Jose. Jose, California, single.
3:29Dallas, G Coast again. Welcome.
3:33Washington, married, in a relationship.
3:35Melbourne, oh my gosh, engaged. Yay.
3:38Congratulations.
3:41Melbourne, Denver, Wisconsin, Brisbane,
3:44Barbados,
3:46Canada.
3:49Oh my gosh, I'm just missing so many
3:51people. Um,
3:54now, why is this not syncing? Suddenly,
3:56my Hang on, someone sent me a private
3:59message. Let me go back. Cool.
4:02Oh my gosh, so many people. Yay. Well,
4:06welcome to everyone. I love hearing
4:08where you're all from. Thanks for making
4:10it if you're in a time zone where this
4:12was a bit tricky.
4:14Uh, okay. So,
4:17have you been in the room with me
4:19before? Who's been in some of my courses
4:21before? Who is this? Is this your first
4:24time? Let me know. I'd love to hear
4:26that, too. I know I've got a lot of
4:28people who've been with me um before,
4:31who've been in my world for a long time,
4:33and then I've had a lot of new people
4:34join my community in the last few
4:36months, which is so exciting. Who said
4:38they're a virgin?
4:40Charles is a virgin. Welcome, Charles.
4:42First time. Maddie, first time. Angela,
4:45first time. Oh my gosh, lots of first
4:47timers. Yay. So exciting. And if you've
4:51been following me for years, I'm super
4:55excited to have you here.
4:57Yay.
4:58All right. So, for the next 90 minutes,
5:01my intention is to support you and
5:04inspire you to leave this 90 minutes
5:07feeling really connected to your desires
5:10and deeply devoted to your growth and to
5:13sexual artistry. I want you to feel like
5:16so much more is possible for you. I want
5:19you to feel free to explore and I want
5:22to give you permission to do so. And I
5:24want to give I want you to give yourself
5:26that permission, right? You are
5:30so worthy of deep intimacy and deep
5:34connection and beautiful sex and hot sex
5:38and all the things.
5:40You are so worthy of that. And I know
5:43that if you are here, that is something
5:46that you're really really yearning for
5:49and craving.
5:51Okay. So, I I my intention is for you to
5:54walk away with really practical tools
5:58that empower you to have epic sex, okay?
6:02And it's not just about sex. None of my
6:05work is just about sex. I am very
6:08holistic in the way that I work. If
6:10you've been in inside sex life, my
6:13membership, you know that I really zoom
6:15out and I support you to create a life
6:17that turns you on because that's the key
6:20to great sex. It's not just get in the
6:22bedroom, do these five moves, and you're
6:24going to have a great orgasm. It is so
6:26much bigger than that. And that's the
6:29way that I work with people today. Yes,
6:31we are really honing in on sex.
6:34But my my prayer for you all is that you
6:38receive this feeling in your body that
6:40you can live a turned on life because
6:42you can.
6:44Okay. Now, let's see if there's anyone
6:47else to admit.
6:49No. Great. Okay. So, before we get
6:53started,
6:55I love giveaways in support of getting
6:58this work out into the world and into
7:01the hearts of so many other people,
7:03which is my greatest vision is like
7:05impacting thousands of people in the
7:08world with this work. If you're in the
7:11um in here live today or on the replay,
7:13if you snap a photo or a video of
7:16today's class and you tag me on socials,
7:19anyone who does that goes into the draw
7:21to win three months inside my membership
7:25with me. Okay, Sex Life is my membership
7:29for women and it's where you get access
7:31to all my foundational programs. You get
7:33monthly live workshops, you get all the
7:35replays and then there's a community of
7:37women in there. Okay, so anyone who tags
7:41me on socials will go into the draw. Um,
7:43I have a really epic special invite for
7:47you all at the end of this class to join
7:50me. It will be a time-sensitive
7:52opportunity. So, I will be telling you
7:54more about that at the end. Um, and I
7:57just want you to feel into like is this
7:59something that you want to continue in
8:00this in in, you know, in this journey of
8:03yours like working with me, learning
8:05with me, learning with the other women.
8:07I know there's men in here today
8:08acknowledging that and welcome and I
8:10love opening up the space to men too but
8:13specifically my sex life membership is
8:16for women um and I'll be speaking about
8:19that later so just a bit of you know
8:22quick housekeeping this is a judgment
8:24free it's safe zone what's shared here
8:27stays here amongst us if somebody shares
8:31in the chat I want you to respect that
8:34and honor that not share names not be
8:36like, "Oh, Sally, who makes me coffee
8:38every morning was in there and she said
8:40blah blah blah."
8:42Have respect for each other. If you want
8:44your camera on and that feels good, you
8:47can, but it's totally optional. All
8:50right? And if you can grab a pen and
8:53paper
8:54because I will be asking some questions
8:56along the way, but you'll also have the
8:59replay. So, if you just want to sit back
9:01or lay back and relax and enjoy, do so.
9:04So today we are covering
9:08sexual artistry. What the hell is it?
9:11I'll be explaining that. We're covering
9:13the five sexual archetypes and the
9:16shadow of those. And I'll explain what
9:18that is. We're talking about erotic
9:20intelligence and the elements of touch,
9:24worship of self and others,
9:28communication, which is like the key,
9:30right? And how to get your needs
9:32actually met.
9:34and then I will be uh giving you an
9:36invitation to go deeper with me. All
9:39right,
9:41[sighs]
9:42I want you all to take a big breath.
9:44Close your eyes for a moment. Actually,
9:47just
9:49close your eyes. Take a big breath in
9:52and out. [sighs]
9:57Some of you will have had a big morning
9:59or big day, a big evening.
10:05The key to great sex is presence. Deep
10:09presence. And for me,
10:14the way that I get like my doorway into
10:17presence is just taking a breath and
10:21noticing that voice inside my head
10:23that's always talking and analyzing and
10:26planning and holding space for others.
10:30If that's you, just notice that voice.
10:35Big breath in through your nose
10:38and out through your mouth.
10:42[sighs and gasps]
10:43You've landed here today
10:47to learn something new. There's nothing
10:49you need to do. Nowhere you need to be
10:52right now. Just presence, listening,
10:57trusting that whatever you are here to
11:00learn, you will receive.
11:04There may be some things that you don't
11:05agree with.
11:08There may be some things that activate
11:11something in you or potentially trigger
11:13you. And that's okay. That's perfect.
11:19So, just take three more big breaths in
11:22through your nose and out through your
11:23mouth.
11:27[sighs and gasps]
11:28Letting out any sound on the outreath if
11:31you feel too
11:43slowly bringing yourself back into the
11:45room.
11:48>> [sighs and gasps]
11:49>> So, I'm guessing you're here because
11:51you're seeking more. You're seeking more
11:54connection,
11:56more presence, more vitality,
12:00more aliveness, more orgasms, greater
12:03sex, ecstatic sex,
12:06and just more intimacy in general.
12:09So, what's your intention for being here
12:11today? If you feel to, I would love to
12:14hear from you in the chat what brought
12:17you here today. It could be you could
12:20share in one word, you can share in a
12:23sentence, but I'd just love to get a
12:24feeling of like where you're all at and
12:26what you're seeking.
12:30Don't be shy.
12:34Sexual confidence and creativity. Love
12:37that.
12:41How to use my sexual energy. The
12:44exploration of sacred sex. Beautiful.
12:48To reconnect with my true enjoyment of
12:50sex, growing further with my partner,
12:53sexual expansion and expression. We'll
12:56definitely be working on that. To
12:58somehow enjoy sex in the face of life
13:01stresses. Oh, I feel you on that,
13:03Olivia. Thank you for sharing.
13:06We don't know what we don't know. You're
13:09right. Overcoming shame.
13:13Opening the path to expansive sexual
13:15expression. Love that. Deeper intimacy
13:18with my partner. Maintaining presence
13:20the entire time.
13:22Deeper connection
13:25to deepen my sexual connection with my
13:27part my husband.
13:29Transcend to another level during sex.
13:31Oh my god, these are all such great
13:33intentions. Resting in my feminine
13:36power. Connecting with my mature
13:38sexuality in a phase in a new phase in
13:40my life. Exciting.
13:43Husband and I have been together for 12
13:45years and want to learn more about
13:46enjoying sex without focusing on orgasm
13:48and just deeper connection. Beautiful.
13:51Love that.
13:53And making sex more intimate and less
13:55performative. Oh my gosh. So many great
13:57intentions. Love this. [sighs]
14:02Being I'm a wellfucked woman and I'm
14:05stepping into owning that in my everyday
14:07life. Being that unapologetically. [ __ ]
14:10yes.
14:14I can't feel my body from all the mental
14:16medication that I'm on. I'm emotionally
14:18blunted. I'm changing medication all the
14:20time to find the right balance. Okay,
14:22great to know.
14:24Reclaiming my sexual confidence in this
14:26new stage of life, pregnancy and beyond.
14:29Beautiful. Welcome everyone. Thank you
14:31so much for sharing. There's so many
14:33amazing intentions there.
14:35Oh, and I'm here to support you to to
14:38get those intentions and and not just
14:40like feel them once and not just to
14:45experience sex like not to just be here
14:47for 90 minutes and leave and be like,
14:49"Yay, we had great sex afterwards." And
14:51then it just kind of goes back to
14:52normal.
14:54My work in the world is to support you
14:57to maintain a level of ecstatic sex for
15:01life to enjoy a healthy libido
15:07to have the tools to communicate what
15:09you need throughout the different phases
15:11of life and relationship. Right? I know
15:15what it's like to be in different phases
15:18of, you know, being in a lovership
15:19compared to being in a long-term
15:21relationship.
15:23And there's ups and downs. And that's so
15:25normal. It's so normal for us to
15:28experience times when we're feeling
15:30disconnected. If you're a couple here
15:32today and you're together or you, you
15:34know, you have a partner, they're not
15:35here, and you're in a phase of your
15:37relationship where you're like, it just
15:39feels like we're not really getting each
15:40other or, you know, one of us wants more
15:42sex or it used to be great and now it's
15:44[ __ ] All the things. I get it. I've
15:47been there. I'm in it. I'm in a a
15:49long-term relationship. We've been
15:51together 9 years and I understand that
15:54it can be stressful. I understand that
15:56it can bring tension into the
15:58relationship and I know what it's like
16:00to journey that. I'm human, too. I go
16:03through all the same stuff that you guys
16:04do,
16:06right? So, my intention always for
16:08single then couples is to support you to
16:10enjoy a life full of great sex, not just
16:14oneoff, you know, experiences.
16:18So, you get to have it all, but the
16:22catch is you've got to do the work,
16:24right? No one's coming to save you. It's
16:27one thing to to listen to me speak for
16:2990 minutes or to binge my podcast.
16:33It's another thing to implement and
16:36embody
16:37and commit to artistry as that lifelong
16:40journey. So, you get to choose.
16:43It's not just about today. It is about
16:46embodying these teachings and applying
16:48them to real life, which is often
16:50challenging.
16:53So, as you know, I've been on uh an
16:56absolute ride with my own sex life. I
16:59have been in I've experienced [ __ ] sex.
17:02I've experienced unconscious sex. I've
17:04experienced sex where I just feel I I've
17:07laid there afterwards thinking like
17:09there has got to be more. I have been in
17:12a relationship where I loved that person
17:15so deeply, but the sex just was not
17:18hitting the spot. Literally,
17:22literally not hitting the spot. And I
17:25did everything I could to figure out why
17:28it wasn't because that person was such a
17:30beautiful, amazing human. And there was
17:33so much love and laughter and fun and
17:37respect between us, but something was
17:40missing. And it really like I just
17:43couldn't quite crack the code. I've had
17:46a lot of casual sex. I've slept with a
17:48lot of people and experienced it all.
17:50You know, as a sexologist, I think
17:53that's like part of the job role, right?
17:55I've got to have like done all the case
17:57studies. Um and I used to joke about
17:59that when I was single and be like, "Oh,
18:01another case study on the weekend." But
18:04um so I I've I've journeyed through it
18:06all. I've experienced it all. And
18:10approximately 14 years ago, I kind of
18:14hit this roadblock where I was like,
18:16okay, I'm enjoying great sex, but
18:19there's something more here. And that's
18:21when I stumbled upon tantra. And that is
18:25when my complete life my life changed
18:29because tantra isn't just about having
18:30great sex. There's a whole life
18:32philosophy, right? And so I traveled the
18:35world. I found a mentor and I lit I said
18:40to her, "How do I learn from you? How
18:42can you mentor me? I like I want to be
18:44in your world." And she took me under
18:47her wing and I ended up teaching
18:50alongside her. That's the fast track
18:53story. But I also traveled um learning
18:57from different mentors in the community
18:59of Tantra and um applying everything to
19:03to my life and my sex life. And my
19:06complete like my view of sex completely
19:09changed and it's never been the same
19:13since. And that's why I'm here
19:17because I want you to experience that
19:19too. And that's what I teach. I'm a
19:22sexologist. I have studied psychology
19:25but I weave in the teachings of tantra
19:28and not just that I weave in everything
19:30I've learned personally. So my
19:32commitment
19:33is that I will not teach something that
19:35I haven't actually experienced myself.
19:38Okay, that's my promise to you.
19:41Let's get stuck in. Let me check if
19:44there's anyone else. Oh, yep. There's
19:46another late comer.
19:49All right, I'm going to bring up some
19:52slides on the screen. Give me a moment.
19:56Like I said,
19:58um,
20:03tech is not my thing. Just give me a
20:05moment.
20:09Okay. All righty. So, I just put this
20:13here because this is just a something
20:16that I always come back to. Sex isn't
20:20just something you do. It's a skill, a
20:24presence, a way of being.
20:28It isn't just something we do when we
20:29hop into bed. It is so much greater than
20:32that. It is the way that we move through
20:34the world. It is the way that we look at
20:37people and talk to people. It is the way
20:39that we drink our coffee. It is the way
20:41that we swim in the ocean. There's
20:43always this undercurrent of sexual
20:46energy moving through our body. Even if
20:48right now you feel numb, even if you
20:52feel like it just disappeared, it's
20:54always there. It's always there waiting.
20:58And like I said, you know, through life,
21:02we go through our ups and downs where it
21:04disappears. And some people will relate
21:06to that. right now. I want to be able to
21:10see the chat um because I'm going to ask
21:12you some questions. So, I'm going to
21:14keep going and then I'll just return and
21:16we'll have to wing it. So, today we're
21:20talking about virtual artistry. Oh,
21:23perfect. There's the chat. Great.
21:28There we go. Someone said, "This is a
21:30great master class on how to use Canva
21:32and Zoom, too." Thanks, every [laughter]
21:34Oh my goodness. Um, so today we're
21:37talking about the four pillars of sexual
21:39artistry.
21:41And I want you to think of sexual
21:43artistry as if you were a musician.
21:48A great guitarist
21:51doesn't pick up a guitar and become a
21:53master overnight. Who here is a musician
21:56and gets this? We all get it.
22:00If you want to become great and you want
22:02to master something such as music,
22:05you're going to find a teacher,
22:08you're going to practice and you're
22:10going to refine, right? You you're not
22:12just going to pick it up once and go,
22:14"Yay, I've mastered it. I tried that. I
22:16spent a few months and I didn't have
22:19that commitment to keep going with the
22:21guitar and now I forget everything."
22:25Sex is similar.
22:28Sexual artistry is a lifelong practice.
22:32It's a practice of curiosity. It's a
22:35practice of devotion. It's a practice of
22:37creativity
22:39and presence. Okay? It is
22:45it's like learning an instrument. It's
22:47like not every day are we going to pick
22:50it up, but every day there needs to be
22:53that inner devotion to your craft and to
22:55your art.
22:58Can everyone make sure that they are on
23:00um mute please? Thank you.
23:05So today I want to talk about
23:10Oh, someone said have your notes avail.
23:14Okay, cool. Thank you. Uh today I would
23:16love to talk about the four pillars of
23:19sexual artistry. The four pillars that I
23:21see are the pillars. The first one is
23:25the absolute essential. The absolute
23:28essential and that is the deep inner
23:30work and growth that we all need to be
23:32doing.
23:34That is the willingness to explore
23:36ourselves, to face the blocks, to face
23:39the trauma from the past, all the [ __ ]
23:42that we carry, all the baggage that we
23:44literally just carry into each
23:46relationship.
23:49And it's that devotion to evolution as
23:52humans
23:54and it's a lifelong commitment.
23:57Okay? And
24:01when we're in relationship, for those
24:03who are in relationship, what's
24:04important here is that you are both
24:07committed to that deep inner work.
24:10Because if one person wants to do it
24:13like is so deeply committed to evolution
24:16and the other person isn't that's when
24:20things go a bit skew whiff because one
24:25person is evolving and the other person
24:28is staying here. And what happens is it
24:30creates distance in a relationship.
24:34And eventually the person here who is
24:37you know always working on themselves,
24:39always learning, curious, open,
24:43that person is evolving and eventually
24:46they get to a point where their question
24:48is this the right relationship for me.
24:52If you want to become a sexual artist,
24:54if you want to experience deeply
24:56ecstatic,
24:58awesome, epic, erotic sex, you need to
25:02have that devotion to the deep inner
25:03work and growth.
25:08The next pillar is presence. And we
25:11spoke about this at the start. Presence
25:14turns ordinary touch into erotic art.
25:16Presence is so foundational,
25:23but it's not easy to be present in sex
25:27if we are not present in life. And so
25:30many of us, especially now, are racing
25:34through life with so many literal tabs
25:36open in our brain and on our laptop and
25:38in our phone
25:41and and we're saying yes way too much to
25:44so many commitments.
25:46That presence is becoming harder and
25:48harder. And so we're walking through we
25:52we're going through life, you know,
25:54we're we're hitting the career goals.
25:56We're having the kids. We're doing all
25:58the things,
26:00but we're not actually deeply present in
26:02every moment. And then we get into the
26:04bedroom with our lover or our partner,
26:06our husband, our wife, whoever it is.
26:09And it it's so hard to like drop down
26:12out of our head and into our body.
26:16Our sexual energy for all of us resides
26:20in our sex center
26:22which is in the base of our body at our
26:25[ __ ] at our [ __ ] in our womb in those
26:28lower centers of our body.
26:34If if we're always up in our head and
26:37we're always present and we're always
26:39allowing that inner voice to just rule
26:43our life, that voice in our head that's
26:46like, "This is right, this is wrong. You
26:48got to do this, what are we having for
26:49dinner, blah blah blah, check the emails
26:51again, scroll through Instagram." If
26:53you're always letting that voice rule,
26:56then your sexual energy is not going to
26:58have space to to like
27:01open your body and to move through your
27:04body. So presence is key here.
27:09The next pillar is devotion.
27:14Now devotion is a it's it's a word,
27:18right?
27:19But when I attempt to explain what
27:22devotion is, I I say it's not a word. It
27:25is not a word. It is a frequency.
27:28It is an energy.
27:31And our body knows the difference when
27:33we're making love. We're having sex. Our
27:35body knows the difference. It feels the
27:39difference when someone is devoted to us
27:42or we are practicing devotion towards
27:45our partner, our lover.
27:48It knows the difference.
27:51Devotion is devotion to love,
27:55devotion to our growth, our personal
27:57growth, our growth as individuals and
28:00couples,
28:02our devotion to pleasure,
28:06our devotion to our relationship and
28:08love with ourself and to our the
28:11relationship with our lovers, our
28:13partners, our life partners.
28:20The next pillar and the last pillar is
28:22creativity.
28:26Creativity is curiosity is it is
28:29experimentation.
28:32It's exploring energy and erotic
28:35expression and it's a lifelong process.
28:40And where people get stuck, especially
28:42in long-term relating,
28:45is we kind of at the start of a
28:48relationship,
28:49we're very curious.
28:52We're open to exploring. Like we're
28:54really creative. We want to impress. We
28:57want to connect deeply. There's that
29:00those, you know, that kind of erotic
29:02pull between us.
29:05And over time, the creativity waines.
29:07And I see this a lot. And this is a lot
29:09of what I work when I'm working with
29:11couples and singles. This is a big one.
29:14Over time, you know, we we kind of
29:19we begin to just settle into a sexual
29:22routine.
29:24You know, I do this, you do this, you
29:27come, I come. Potentially only one of us
29:29has an orgasm and then we cuddle and we
29:32sleep or or we have a cigarette and we
29:34sleep or whatever it is. There's like a
29:36routine that settle we settle into. and
29:39creativity walks out the door.
29:43And a lot of us lack the curiosity and
29:45the experimentation that we had at the
29:47start of the relationship. Who relates
29:49to this?
29:51I need to find the chat box. Here we go.
29:54Tech tech. Um,
29:58where are we? Okay. Chat,
30:03who's relating to this? Who's
30:04experienced this in long-term
30:06relationship? Yeah.
30:08Yeah, me too. Me too. And even now, like
30:12Nick and I, you know, nine years
30:13together, we've definitely circled back
30:16to this where, you know, we're going
30:19through a tough like we've been through
30:20so much in the last, I would say, in the
30:22last four years in particular
30:26where we've had challenges um death um
30:29of loved ones. We've had um the early
30:32birth of our um third my third child,
30:37our second child together. Um all sorts
30:40of things happen and it's really been
30:43brought a lot of stress into the
30:45relationship and all of a sudden months
30:47down the track we've realized that we've
30:49kind of just fallen into routine and
30:51there's a lack of curiosity between us.
30:54And luckily enough, we both really been
30:57doing this work for a long time. So,
30:58it's easy for us to just quickly pick it
31:00up and go, okay, this is what's missing.
31:03This is what's needed. And we can um
31:05bring back that spark quite quickly.
31:17Okay. the next thing. So, so what I want
31:20you to think about is with these um
31:25foundations before we go on to sexual
31:27archetypes. Actually, I don't know how
31:29to go back now, but what I want you to
31:32think about is
31:35if you need to watch the replay, do it
31:37and write some notes. Always coming back
31:40to those four foundations of sexual
31:43artistry. If you feel like there's
31:45something a miss in your sex life,
31:47whether you're single or partnered, look
31:49at your notes and be like, and I
31:51guarantee you at least one to two of
31:54those foundations will be out of whack.
31:57And sometimes it's just one of them that
31:59you need to work on that brings that
32:02passion back, that brings that aliveness
32:04back. Usually it's the personal
32:07development development one. Usually one
32:10of us in relationship
32:12have let that slide and haven't been
32:16communicating and haven't been talking
32:18about how we feel and haven't been doing
32:20that deep inner work and then resentment
32:22builds
32:24and
32:26you know we we find ourselves in sexless
32:30relationships. That's the worst case
32:32scenario, right? Or we find ourselves
32:35having sex
32:37but not enjoying it.
32:43I want to talk about the sexual
32:44archetypes. Now, now this is a huge
32:47piece of work. It could be its own
32:50master class in itself. So, I'm going to
32:53spend I'm going to spend time on it, but
32:56I want you to know that if you continue
32:58to work with me, this is something that
33:00we go into in more depth. As you know,
33:03if you've worked um on with me in uh
33:06one-on-one, you'll know that we go into
33:08this in a lot of depth. Okay. The sexual
33:12archetypes
33:14I have seen over working with people for
33:16I would say 14 plus years now. There are
33:20five archetypes. I'd say there's four
33:22and then there's the fifth which I'll
33:23explain.
33:25Now, you're going to see yourself in
33:27more than one of these. Okay? So I'm
33:30going to go through them and I want you
33:32to share in the chat. Yes, that's me.
33:35You may find yourself in all of them or
33:38one of them may be very prominent.
33:41Okay, you're also I'm also going to
33:44speak about the shadow of each archetype
33:47which is really important. The the
33:50shadow is not bad. There's nothing bad
33:52about the shadow. It's just something
33:55that we need to pay attention to and
33:58integrate more into ourselves and it
34:01will shine light on parts of ourselves
34:05that potentially we like contribute to
34:08self-sabotage, contribute to us not
34:10feeling deeply satisfied.
34:13Okay.
34:15Now, I just want to ask uh a question.
34:18If I do
34:21this,
34:23can you still see the um
34:27Can you still see the screen?
34:30Are you still seeing the screen now? Are
34:32you still seeing the screen now?
34:35>> Yes. Great.
34:37>> Thank you so much. Um,
34:40awesome.
34:44Okay.
34:46Are you still seeing it now?
34:51Okay, that's great. Awesome. Okay,
34:56let's talk about the first archetype
34:58which is the wild card.
35:02You are adventurous. You are
35:05spontaneous. You are kink positive
35:08and nothing is off limits.
35:11you. I would say you are the most
35:13adventurous
35:16in the five archetypes.
35:18Okay, now I'm going to bring up the
35:20chat. Who relates to this? I would love
35:22to hear. Your turnons are dirty talk,
35:28role play, light to heavy BDSM, a lot of
35:33spontaneity,
35:34anything taboo, you're like, "Fuck yes,
35:36I want to explore that."
35:40And your ideal lover
35:42is really curious and also excited to
35:46explore the edges.
35:49Yes, but within monogamy, said Olivia.
35:52Yes, very much so.
35:55When I'm playing the switch. Yes. Yep.
35:57Yep. This is definitely me. I am
36:00extremely adventurous and I like I'm
36:05open to exploring anything and
36:07everything. obviously with boundaries
36:09but um you can bring anything to me and
36:12I I'm definitely open. Now let's talk
36:16about the shadow of this archetype. The
36:19shadow of this is that thrill seeking us
36:24thrill seekers it can tip into a bit of
36:27chaos and we can start really chasing
36:31that intensity all the while.
36:35And the intensity is fun and exciting
36:38and erotic and it's a turnon. But the
36:42shadow of it is that we we chase the
36:45intensity and we miss that deep soft
36:49vulnerable intimacy,
36:52right? And then you're confusing the
36:55adrenaline with connection because it's
36:57exciting. There's spontaneity,
37:01but you're missing
37:03the vulnerability and the the deep
37:06emotion and like that deep connection
37:09with your lover. Who relates to that?
37:16Yeah, I can relate to that. When I was
37:19single, I wasn't chasing a lot of
37:21intensity. deep down I really really
37:24wanted a relationship and I really
37:26really wanted to like feel seen and met
37:30and I wanted to share my heart with my
37:33lovers
37:37but it was too scary and there was a lot
37:39of fear for me of of abandonment
37:42actually which came through my childhood
37:44right and so I was a thrill seeker
37:48sexually but I wasn't feeling met in my
37:51art and that was the shadow.
37:56H and Rosemary shared thrillseeking,
37:58tipping into chaos was my formative
38:00young adult years. Yeah, me too,
38:02Rosemary. Yeah.
38:05All right. The next
38:07archetype is the slowb burn.
38:10You are soft,
38:13you're sensual, you feel deeply
38:15connected. That's what turns you on.
38:19And you you thrive when intimacy unfolds
38:22really slowly. You are all about the
38:26slow ease into sex. The the beautiful
38:31like it it's a big leadup for you that
38:34turns you on.
38:36This is definitely me. Shed Nina. Your
38:40turnons are really long foreplay,
38:43eye contact,
38:46slow sensual touch,
38:49which we will go into later, all the
38:51different elements we can bring in, and
38:54really deeply connected love making.
38:57Yeah, a lot of people are relating.
39:02Beautiful.
39:06This is this is something that I think
39:09we all deeply yearn for. Even if you're
39:12sitting there thinking, "Nah, that's not
39:14me." I guarantee you once you've
39:17experienced this style of sex, which can
39:19also go very much handinhand with the
39:23the spontaneity and the BDSM and all
39:25that, you can have both in the one sex
39:28session. I promise you, right? But this
39:31is something that we all deeply yearn
39:33for, especially women. Our hearts yearn
39:37for this kind of intimacy. But if we
39:39haven't experienced it before, we don't
39:42know what we don't know. We don't like
39:44we we can't experience something that we
39:47don't know exists or don't know that
39:48we're capable of that we don't know that
39:51we are worthy of.
39:56Our ideal lover is romantic, is like
40:01really emotionally attuned to us and
40:03really patient.
40:05The shadow of the slowb burn is that
40:11that depth can tip into idealizing this
40:15connection in into like really deeply
40:18wanting that and waiting for the perfect
40:21moment for it to happen.
40:24And so some of us if we are the in in
40:26this archetype
40:28we we're waiting for the perfect moment
40:31especially in relationship everything
40:33has to be right for us to to make love
40:37but we miss that raw like passionate
40:41spontaneous sex
40:44and we block it because we're like no
40:46now's not at the right time or no you
40:48didn't put the the the rubbish out and I
40:51feel pissed off and I feel resentful.
40:53And you're not going to get me. We not
40:55I'm not going to even I'm not going to
40:57allow myself to experience sex because
40:59it has to be the right sex. Yeah. That
41:03shadow is very real. Yeah.
41:07Yeah.
41:10The next archetype
41:13and keep sharing because I love hearing
41:15from you in the chat is the surrendered
41:18muse.
41:20Now you are confident,
41:23you're in control, you're masterful,
41:26you love leading sex, potentially love
41:29leading in life.
41:31>> Uh Juliet, the slide skipped ahead.
41:34Sorry to interrupt.
41:35>> Oh, thank you.
41:36>> Sure.
41:39>> Let's go back. Here we go.
41:41>> Amazing.
41:42>> Thank you. [laughter]
41:44Um,
41:46I usually have my manager in in with me
41:50doing all this. So, this is a big
41:52learning curve for me that I cannot let
41:55that slide next time.
41:57Um, so we're back to the surrender muse.
42:01You
42:03are receptive.
42:05You love the art of letting go.
42:10You're fluid. I would say this is more
42:13you're more in your feminine energy
42:14whether you're man a male or female or
42:17however you identify
42:20you're really good at surrendering which
42:22is an art form which is an absolute art
42:25form and it it is for me personally
42:27something that I have been working on
42:29for years is the art of surrender is the
42:31art of letting go and trusting
42:37Sarah said oh my god yes this is so fun
42:42erotic massage, oral sex,
42:46play,
42:47just allowing your lover to receive uh
42:50to lead.
42:54You love letting go. You love receiving.
42:57You're really good at receiving. And
42:59this is something honestly receiving is
43:01like something that I think especially
43:04for women we find it we can find it
43:07really hard.
43:09It's re it can feel really confronting
43:12to allow ourselves to receive for so
43:15many different reasons. For some of us
43:17it's like to receive means that you know
43:21we we have to feel worthy of receiving
43:23sexually.
43:26I know for me I over the years I found
43:29it I've wanted for example more I wanted
43:32my partner to go down on me more but
43:34then when my partner does I've had to
43:36work through what it brings up in me to
43:38just fully let go and allow my partner
43:42to pleasure me and not to have to like
43:45feel like I need to give back. Does
43:47anyone relate to that?
43:49If there's this worthiness piece here
43:51for a lot of women in particular.
43:55Yeah,
43:57our ideal lover, if you are identifying
44:00with this archetype, is confident,
44:04assertive, comfortable, and likes to
44:06take the lead.
44:11Now, the shadow of this
44:14is that we can become really passive,
44:17okay? and we rely on others to lead
44:20instead of owning our own pleasure and
44:22instead of asking for what we desire.
44:27So we become really good at at
44:29surrendering but we kind of become so
44:32passive and this is the shadow this is
44:34not for everyone that we don't lean into
44:36like that kind of rawness of like I'm
44:39desiring this like or or even being able
44:42to switch and be more in control and
44:45then we miss out on that other flavor of
44:49sex.
44:55So that's the surrendered muse
44:59and now we're going into the master of
45:01pleasure
45:03which is a big call the master of
45:06pleasure but I love it. So the master of
45:09pleasure is confident
45:13is has practiced a lot usually
45:17is in control is masterful.
45:22You take the lead. It turns you on to
45:26take the lead. It turns you on to be
45:28with somebody
45:30who
45:31can surrender, who trusts you,
45:34who enjoys you guiding them.
45:41You love being on top. You love being
45:43dominant. You love leading. You love
45:45telling that person what to do in a
45:47beautiful, consensual way. And there's
45:50an energy about you. This isn't just
45:52verbal. This isn't just like a verbal
45:54thing or a physical thing. There's this
45:57energy
45:58about this person and this archetype
46:04that they bring to the room and their
46:06lovers, if this is healthy, if this is
46:09played out in a healthy way, their
46:11lovers instantly feel this trust in them
46:14that they've got them. Who relates to
46:17this? Has anyone been with a lover who
46:20is a master? And it's like your nervous
46:23system as the person who's with a master
46:25of pleasure, your nervous system is able
46:27to drop quite quickly because you feel
46:29held. It's like there's this big
46:32envelope of of like trust in the room
46:36and it's it's really hard to articulate
46:38for me, but
46:41your system is able to drop.
46:46The shadow of the master of pleasure is
46:49that that dominance
46:52can mask vulnerability.
46:55And that the control,
46:58this is the shadow is that you need to
47:00be in control
47:03because that feels safer
47:06than being in deep deep intimacy with
47:09someone and really showing your heart,
47:12showing that vulnerability, allowing it
47:14to shine through.
47:18Yeah, it is really sacred. I agree,
47:20Alex.
47:27And so people who are the master of
47:29pleasure,
47:31they're masterful, but if there that
47:34shadow is there, which it always is in a
47:36little way or or a big way, it means
47:39that they're missing out on the subtle
47:43like depth
47:45of of like going slower and allowing
47:47themselves to receive and dropping into
47:49the other archetypes,
47:52right?
47:56The last one is the chameleon. And a lot
47:58of you are going to relate to this. I'd
48:00love to hear actually. You're you are a
48:02bit of everything.
48:04Okay. Some people are this. I would say
48:08I'm two out of five of these. You you're
48:11very adaptive. Um, and honestly,
48:15backtracking for a minute,
48:18our archetypes and the ones that feel
48:20most dominant will change over time and
48:22will change with the lovers that we're
48:24with because different lovers bring out
48:26different flavors of us, right?
48:29But if you are the chameleon,
48:33you are more versatile.
48:36Your desires shift over time, throughout
48:40the day, throughout the month.
48:43and you enjoy everything,
48:46right?
48:48The only the shadow of this is that you
48:51can shapeshift really quickly,
48:54but you do that to please.
48:57And what you miss out on is expressing
49:00what you truly desire because you're
49:01like, "Oh, well, this guy wants this or
49:03this woman want this, so I'm going to be
49:04this way. Oh, now she wants this. I'm
49:07going to be this way." And so you're
49:08kind of the shadow is you're very good
49:11at at being a chameleon
49:14and adapting,
49:17but you're not being true to yourself
49:19and you're not getting that deep
49:20intimacy that you desire.
49:24Sarah's shared, I tend to attune to my
49:26lovers, and yes, now that I am
49:27postmenopausal, my arousal center has
49:30moved. What turns me on now is presence.
49:33Yeah. And oh, dang, the shadow is
49:35accurate. Yeah.
49:38Charles feels like he's a mix between
49:41the master and chameleon.
49:44Yeah, you know, this is something to
49:46reflect on here. Um, and yeah, just
49:50screenshot anything, too. If you if
49:51you're more than welcome to screenshot
49:53these and then you can kind of, you
49:56know, move through them again and and
49:58reflect and journal, whatever you need
49:59to do to learn more about yourself. Like
50:01I said, you can listen to this, you can
50:04soak it all in, but the real work comes
50:06in integrating what you've learned into
50:09real life.
50:11Yeah.
50:14[sighs] Okay.
50:17We are going to move on to now that
50:19we've spoken about the archetypes. I
50:21want to speak about erotic intelligence
50:24and the elements of touch because what
50:27what this is going to do is going to
50:29bring some really practical ways that
50:33you can when you next have sex, make
50:36love, however you want to say it. Um you
50:39can bring these elements of touch in and
50:41watch how it transforms
50:44your love making.
50:51Ah, thank you, M. I can see all your
50:53comments and I'm sorry if I don't answer
50:55all of them. Um,
50:58I'm I'm doing my best to stay on time
51:01and um I if I Yeah, I promise you that I
51:06would love to answer everyone's
51:07questions, but I just don't have the
51:10time to do so. Um, and I will circle
51:13back at the end to anything that's
51:15really important. Um, okay. Eerotic
51:19intelligent. Eerotic intelligence and
51:21the elements of touch.
51:25Now, this is something to screenshot.
51:29There are five different elements of
51:31touch.
51:34I want you to listen to me speak about
51:36them and notice what element of touch
51:39you bring in most in your sex life at
51:42the moment. If you're single and there
51:43is no sex life, there will be. I promise
51:46you there will be. Especially if you
51:47keep working with me, I promise you we
51:49are going to manifest an amazing lover
51:52or lovers for you so that you can
51:54practice all this. If you are in
51:57relationship,
51:58take some notes mentally or physically.
52:02take some note and next time you're
52:04making love, I really want you to um
52:09apply this. Apply this. So, the first
52:12element of touch is the earth.
52:17It's grounded. It's intentional. And
52:19it's steady.
52:22It's really anchoring.
52:25It's reassuring.
52:27And it's telling the nervous system that
52:29you're safe and you're held.
52:34So this is the touch where your man or
52:37your woman
52:39places their hand on you and your
52:41nervous system is able to drop.
52:44It's like
52:48exhale. He's got me. She's got me.
52:56Okay. It's the earth. It's grounded.
52:59It's steady.
53:01Now zooming out,
53:05you will find like my partner Nick is
53:08really great at this kind of touch
53:11because I believe he is a very grounded
53:15person.
53:17He is a steady person. He is very
53:20actually connected to the element of
53:22earth in everyday life. He spends a lot
53:25of time in nature. He values nature and
53:28he values being out in nature and
53:30grounding to mother earth genuinely like
53:33he's always got his feet in the sand in
53:35the soil.
53:37And so this transfers over into the
53:39bedroom. There's this this um anchoring
53:43that happens when he touches me. It's
53:45like grounding.
53:47Has anyone been with a lover? Do they do
53:50they have a lover or have they do they
53:52remember a lover from the past who has
53:54this kind of energy that they bring and
53:56this touch.
54:02The next element is water. Okay. Now,
54:06I'm not saying you just need to bring
54:08one of these. I want you to play with
54:10them all. Water is more fluid. We all
54:13know what water is like. It's fluid.
54:15Think of the ocean. It's rhythmic.
54:18It flows. It is the feminine actually
54:21the feminine energy. And I'm not
54:23speaking about man and woman. I'm
54:25speaking about energy that is within the
54:27world within us all. It's Yeah. water
54:32feels like a dance. It It's like it
54:35glides.
54:37So when you're touching there's this
54:38kind of like think of the ocean. It's
54:40moving. It's soothing. It's nourishing.
54:46It's touch that softens someone's heart
54:49to open.
54:52For me, like even when I speak about it,
54:54I can feel my body move more
54:57rhythmically. So that's the water
54:59element.
55:01The next element, which is a fun one,
55:05is fire.
55:07Fire is activating.
55:10It's bringing heat and intensity.
55:13You know, it's like the the slap on the
55:16ass or the grab, the spontaneity,
55:22the scratching, the teasing, like all
55:25that kind of you could think of it as
55:27kinkier, quote unquote.
55:30It's it's really activating in our sex
55:33center. Who loves fire? I want you to
55:36pop it in the chat. Who loves fire? I
55:39love fire.
55:41I I find that fire can really wake me
55:44up. Like it it it wakes something up in
55:47me in my body, especially if I'm not
55:52100% feeling like sex, but then my
55:56partner brings that fire element in.
55:59Suddenly, it wakes me up and I'm like,
56:01"Fuck yeah, let the [ __ ] basically."
56:03Yeah, [gasps] Finn. It gets me ready to
56:06go. Yeah, me too.
56:09It's fun to build up to it. Yeah. Yeah.
56:12It's not necessarily something that
56:13you'll just bring in straight away,
56:15especially with a new lover. If you're
56:16with a new lover, you really want to
56:18kind of
56:21feel your way through these and see what
56:24do they respond to? Like what does what
56:26does her or what does his body respond
56:28to? You may notice that fire, you know,
56:31really activates them or or water allows
56:35your lover to soften and open. Like it's
56:39just playing with the energies.
56:42It someone has shared it's fire is
56:44actually a turnoff for me. Yeah. And it
56:46can be. Yes. I love that you've you've
56:49spoke said that and shared that. We
56:52don't necessarily all like all of these.
56:55The next element is air. It's light.
56:58It's feathery.
57:00It's like it's genuinely like you can
57:02get a feather and use it to caress the
57:06body of your lover. And that's the air.
57:09It's really soft
57:11that you're often like hovering over the
57:14skin. It creates anticipation.
57:17It's slow. It's light.
57:22I don't love this kind of touch.
57:24[laughter] Personally,
57:27I am very like fiery.
57:30Who who who
57:32love who's loving this kind of touch?
57:34who desires more of this.
57:37This is the tease. This is the buildup.
57:41Yes to this,
57:43not me, says someone else. My favorite.
57:46I love the air. Yeah, we're all so
57:49different. And like, here's the thing.
57:50This is stuff we're not taught and we're
57:53trying to navigate different lovers and
57:55different bodies. We're in relationships
57:58for years and we don't know this about
58:00each other.
58:02You know, one of us may be really into
58:04fire, right? The other may be really
58:07into air.
58:09We don't know. So, so the person who's
58:12into fire is bringing the like the fiery
58:14energy in and they're wondering why
58:16their partner is just so shut down.
58:20Once we know this about each other, if
58:22you're a couple right now, it's it's
58:23going to be great for you to kind of
58:25have the conversation afterwards and be
58:26like, "Babe, I just realized I'm really
58:29into the earththing energy." like I
58:31really would love you to bring that more
58:32in. Like once you have these
58:34conversations and learn about each
58:36other, you're able to to um move in a
58:40way that turns each other on more.
58:44The last one is ether, which is this is
58:48energetic. This is like the unseen, the
58:51felt.
58:53This is something that isn't spoken
58:55about enough is a lot of people
59:00get turned on
59:04by energy. All of us do. All of us do.
59:08But some of us,
59:10like for me personally, this is actually
59:12a really big one. You know, I have
59:15experienced in my life probably the most
59:18profound
59:20um sexual experiences and orgasmic
59:22experiences have been with people
59:27where I'm not touching that. We're not
59:29touching each other at all. We're fully
59:32clothed and yet the energy between us is
59:36so intense and powerful that I have been
59:40able to experience full body orgasm like
59:43energetic orgasm in my body just by
59:46tuning into their energy.
59:49This is so possible.
59:52One that comes to mind is like a I would
59:55I am not exaggerating by saying I would
59:57say it would be would have been at least
59:58two hours of just full body orgasmic
1:00:01energy flowing through my body and I was
1:00:04not touched once. That is the power of
1:00:07energy.
1:00:11This is really a really important one
1:00:13for you to get and notice.
1:00:18No. Okay. This can be condundalini
1:00:22but it's it condundalini is separate
1:00:25from this. This is a general um element
1:00:29that we're bringing in. Kundalini is an
1:00:31a different energy that moves through
1:00:33our body.
1:00:36Charles has shared you've I have
1:00:38experience that with a hug session. Yes,
1:00:40it's amazing what's possible. It is
1:00:43amazing what's possible with with this
1:00:45element.
1:00:47And you know, you can start if you're
1:00:49keen to explore this by just sitting in
1:00:51front of someone who's open to doing
1:00:54this,
1:00:55eye gazing
1:00:58and breathing together and just
1:01:01committing to holding the intention that
1:01:04there there's not going to be sex.
1:01:05There's no like
1:01:08sex at the end of this. There's no
1:01:09physical touch. just breathing and
1:01:12moving energy between us and noticing
1:01:15what happens and sitting with the
1:01:16uncomfortability that happens when we do
1:01:19this.
1:01:21And often when we sit long enough and
1:01:24we're we we can sit with what it brings
1:01:26up in us because it will bring [ __ ] up
1:01:28just sitting with someone and breathing
1:01:29and eye gazing.
1:01:33What happens is the energy starts to
1:01:34move and if if there's that erotic pull
1:01:37between you the sexual energy will start
1:01:38to move. Who's excited by this one?
1:01:41Excited to explore this more?
1:01:48Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Me. Yes. Of
1:01:51course. So, these are the five elements
1:01:53of touch.
1:01:56I'm going to leave this up for two more
1:01:58seconds
1:01:59so that anyone who's really into this
1:02:01can screenshot this and have it to refer
1:02:05to
1:02:07or take a photo of it.
1:02:13All right, we are running over time. I'm
1:02:16just going to say that we're running
1:02:17over time and I would say that this this
1:02:20will go for another half an hour and I
1:02:22just want to let you know if you have
1:02:24somewhere to go, it's okay. Um, you're
1:02:26allowed to leave obviously. Um, and you
1:02:29will get the replay. Um so we're going
1:02:32to move into now
1:02:35worship.
1:02:37Worship of ourselves and worship of
1:02:39others.
1:02:41Okay.
1:02:45So
1:02:48we're going to go into [ __ ] and [ __ ]
1:02:49worship briefly,
1:02:52but I want to talk about worship in
1:02:54general.
1:02:56Some people get a little bit icky with
1:02:58this word or they're like, "What do you
1:03:00mean?" Like,
1:03:02yeah, it's a word that I like to
1:03:04explain. When I say worship, I'm not
1:03:07meaning that we are like putting someone
1:03:10on a pedestal and giving away our power
1:03:13to that person. That is not what I mean.
1:03:19Worship is meeting another's body or our
1:03:23own.
1:03:25with deep reverence,
1:03:28respect,
1:03:30presence, and honor.
1:03:37It's recognizing the sacredness of of
1:03:40our sexuality, of another's sexuality,
1:03:45of their body, of their genitals,
1:03:49of their pleasure, of their unique
1:03:51erotic energy. We all have such a unique
1:03:54sexual essence that we bring to the
1:03:56world and to our lovers and to
1:03:57ourselves.
1:04:00Worship is a practice of just slowing
1:04:02down and listening deeply
1:04:07and our presence and our energy and our
1:04:10touch
1:04:12is a form of devotion.
1:04:17So we are worshiping our lover or
1:04:20ourselves if we're self-pleasuring
1:04:22and you know self-pleasure is where it
1:04:24begins right
1:04:27but we are worshiping them in their
1:04:30entirety in in like not just their body
1:04:33not just their sexual energy
1:04:36but them as human beings as beautiful
1:04:39beings in this world who are you know
1:04:42bringing their magic to the world who
1:04:44are mothering or fathering or on purpose
1:04:47in their career or you know serving us
1:04:51like in so many different ways and
1:04:52serving the world and like worshiping
1:04:54their legacy all the things.
1:04:58And this is why it's so important that
1:05:00we choose lovers who we deeply respect
1:05:03and who inspire us. It's so important we
1:05:07choose lovers who honestly my when I was
1:05:11um single for a big stint of time. Um I
1:05:15would always ask myself before sleeping
1:05:18with someone would I want like if I woke
1:05:21up and I would was that person would I
1:05:23actually want to be that person? Like
1:05:25would I want to live the life they're
1:05:27leading? Does that inspire me? Does it
1:05:30light me up thinking about, you know,
1:05:34how they're showing up in the world?
1:05:37And if I got a no, I wouldn't I usually
1:05:40wouldn't sleep with them.
1:05:42If I felt inspired by them, I knew that
1:05:46as their lover, I could bring in that
1:05:48element of worship really authentically,
1:05:56right? And this is what happens in
1:05:58relationship is that, you know, at the
1:06:01start we're like, "Yay, I love them.
1:06:03They're so amazing. They're so
1:06:04inspiring." And then over time,
1:06:08if we're in a the wrong relationship or
1:06:10if there's been a real lack of
1:06:12communication or there's been stuff
1:06:14that's happened that hasn't been
1:06:15resolved,
1:06:17that that feeling of like desire and
1:06:21devotion and worship diminishes.
1:06:26has any does is it are you relating just
1:06:28chuck it in the chat is are people
1:06:30relating to this? And then we have less
1:06:32of a desire to to bring in the element
1:06:35of worship, right? And we're wondering
1:06:38why is it not like it was? Why don't I
1:06:40feel this?
1:06:52Now I want to talk a little bit about
1:06:54self-pleasure.
1:06:56just a little bit today. Like this is
1:06:58something that I speak about in immense
1:07:00detail in other programs. Um,
1:07:04and with my one-on- ones, this is really
1:07:06important. But
1:07:09if you have this deep desire to connect
1:07:11with someone in the ways that I'm
1:07:14explaining,
1:07:16to have these beautiful deep like
1:07:18energetic, physical, emotional,
1:07:21spiritual connections, sexual
1:07:23connections,
1:07:25You really need to connect inward and
1:07:28practice self-pleasure. It is a
1:07:29non-negotiable.
1:07:31The reason being is that when we
1:07:33practice self-love in the form of
1:07:36self-pleasure,
1:07:37we are mastering our own instrument
1:07:40being our body and our sexuality and our
1:07:43energy and our orgasmic energy.
1:07:48And we are exploring that and then we
1:07:50can bring that into our play with our
1:07:53lovers.
1:07:54not expecting our lovers to know
1:07:56everything about us, but we're able to
1:07:59guide them and share and bring in this
1:08:03like um energy of um that that kind of
1:08:08how do I say it?
1:08:10It's really magnetic when a woman or a
1:08:13man has mastered their own body. Who
1:08:16agrees with me?
1:08:19It's it's like being with a lover who
1:08:23has deeply explored their own energy by
1:08:25themselves and invested time into that
1:08:29and they value that. It's so magnetic.
1:08:33It's really important. So if I don't I
1:08:36don't care whether you're single or in
1:08:38relationship and watching this.
1:08:41Either way, self-pleasure is important.
1:08:46Especially if you're in a relationship
1:08:48and it hasn't been important.
1:08:52It doesn't need to be one or the other.
1:08:55Connecting inward is the first step. If
1:08:59you can connect inward
1:09:01in that way and then bring that energy
1:09:03into love making with another, it
1:09:05changes everything.
1:09:09Let's go into [ __ ] and [ __ ] worship
1:09:11because I know that a lot of you are
1:09:13here for this amongst other things.
1:09:19Everyone's unique.
1:09:22Everyone is unique. There is no
1:09:24onesizefits all when it comes to
1:09:27worshiping another woman or man's
1:09:30genitals and body and being.
1:09:37Right? We all need different things
1:09:40to feel turned on. We all need different
1:09:43things to feel pleasure in our body. We
1:09:45all need
1:09:47different things energetically to feel
1:09:50worth to feel like that sense of um love
1:09:53and adoration and worship.
1:10:01Now I'm briefly going to go into and I'm
1:10:04not going to go into this in um too much
1:10:06detail but it is in one of my courses.
1:10:10Tandra teaches that the positive pole
1:10:12for a woman in her body is her heart
1:10:15center and the negative pole is her
1:10:18[ __ ] her yawnie, her vulva, whatever
1:10:23you want to call it.
1:10:26For men, the positive pole is his [ __ ]
1:10:29and the negative pole is his heart. Now,
1:10:32think of a magnet. You got two magnets.
1:10:36You need the positive and the negative
1:10:39for that magnet to stick. Right?
1:10:44Now,
1:10:46if a woman's positive pole in her body
1:10:49is her heart, what that means is that as
1:10:52a woman, we need our heart to feel safe
1:10:57to open. We need our heart to feel
1:10:59nourished and loved and appreciated and
1:11:03adored
1:11:05in order for our [ __ ] to open in order
1:11:08for us to want to open our legs.
1:11:12Who agrees? Women, I want to hear from
1:11:14you in the chat.
1:11:18When we feel deeply loved and adored and
1:11:21like our partner asks how we are and
1:11:24truly listens.
1:11:26Yes. Yes. Absolutely. Yes, the chat is
1:11:28going off 100%.
1:11:32When that happens, we are more likely
1:11:37to open in our sex center.
1:11:42We are more likely to feel really juicy
1:11:45and wet in our [ __ ]
1:11:49If we open our legs but our heart is
1:11:51closed
1:11:52or we feel unsafe in that area of our
1:11:56body with our lover, we can still have
1:11:58sex but it's going to be a lot less
1:12:01enjoyable and there is going to be a lot
1:12:03less capacity in our body to experience
1:12:06full bloody oh bloody full body deep
1:12:10orgasmic states and connection.
1:12:13It's just not possible if our heart is
1:12:15closed.
1:12:17Now, for a man, and this is very
1:12:20general, right?
1:12:23We are all multi-dimensional beings. We
1:12:25have both energies in our body. I'm
1:12:27acknowledging that. But in general, for
1:12:29a man, the positive pole in his body is
1:12:31his [ __ ] This doesn't mean that he
1:12:33doesn't need us to nurture his heart.
1:12:35Absolutely not.
1:12:38What it means though is that often men
1:12:42need that grounding touch on their [ __ ]
1:12:45to open.
1:12:48So we both need different things. What
1:12:51can happen is men don't know this about
1:12:54women that our heart is what's needed
1:12:57like they need to pay attention to our
1:12:59heart whether that be with like a hand
1:13:00on our heart
1:13:03and just breathing with us. Instead they
1:13:07go straight to our [ __ ] and they wonder
1:13:09why we're not wet and wonder why we
1:13:12don't feel turned on.
1:13:15And it's because we we haven't had our
1:13:17heart activated first.
1:13:22Right.
1:13:26So, I'm just briefly touching on this
1:13:28concept today. I'm just planting a
1:13:31little seed for you to kind of notice.
1:13:35Let's go into cop worship. [ __ ] worship
1:13:37is worshiping his entire being. It is
1:13:39not about getting him off. If you are
1:13:43actively practicing worship when it
1:13:46comes to your man,
1:13:50it's not enough to just suck on his [ __ ]
1:13:55and try and make him come. Yes, a lot of
1:13:58men just want that and they'll get on
1:14:00with their day and they'll be happy. But
1:14:02to bring in the element of worship
1:14:05to bring in like deep ecstatic
1:14:08intimacy and or orgasm
1:14:12and connection. It is about bringing in
1:14:15this energy of like worshiping his
1:14:17entire being, his purpose in their
1:14:20world, in the world, his his legacy,
1:14:25who he is as a man, as a father, as a
1:14:29leader, as a gardener, as whatever,
1:14:32whoever he is, however he identifies,
1:14:35wherever he finds value,
1:14:38what he brings to the world is what
1:14:40we're worshiping. And so when I am
1:14:44practicing this with my partner, I'm not
1:14:46just going in for the like, oh, I'm just
1:14:48going to get him off and finish him.
1:14:54No, I am bringing in the energy of like,
1:14:58you are a [ __ ] epic father. You're a
1:15:00beautiful man. You're an amazing,
1:15:03devoted, committed, loyal
1:15:07partner.
1:15:09I bring that energy in and everything
1:15:12changes. And when I work with women on
1:15:14this and I teach them this, I get so
1:15:17many messages from women saying, "Oh my
1:15:19god, what the [ __ ] You wouldn't believe
1:15:22what happened last night when I brought
1:15:24that energy in."
1:15:30Now, when it comes to [ __ ] worship,
1:15:33it's the same. You know, whether you're
1:15:35a man or a woman, worshiping a a woman's
1:15:39heart first and foremost and [ __ ] you
1:15:42are you are bringing in this element of
1:15:45like
1:15:46loving deeply her essence as a woman.
1:15:50All of her, not just the parts that are
1:15:52pretty and beautiful and nice and sweet.
1:15:56the anger, the rage, the emotional
1:15:58roller coaster, the [ __ ] her as a
1:16:01mother, as a businesswoman, as a career
1:16:04woman, all the things. You're bringing
1:16:06that in and you're worshiping her [ __ ]
1:16:08Yes.
1:16:10But it's so much greater than that.
1:16:20Who's relating to this? who's yearning
1:16:22for this as a woman to have a lover who
1:16:25shows up and doesn't just lick your [ __ ]
1:16:29to make you come
1:16:32but brings in a whole different energy
1:16:34into the bedroom or into wherever you're
1:16:37making love.
1:16:40Agree with you Alice on that comment.
1:16:48Um, someone has asked, "Does bringing
1:16:50this energy in mean saying these things
1:16:51verbally? Can you elaborate
1:16:55it?" Yes, it can mean that. And
1:16:57verbally, like using your words to
1:16:59worship someone is so beautiful for some
1:17:02people,
1:17:04me for example, I love words of
1:17:06affirmation as a love language. So, if
1:17:09my lover is saying like, "You're so
1:17:12beautiful. I love you. Like, your [ __ ]
1:17:15is amazing. I love your breast."
1:17:17Whatever it is, that's a turn on for me.
1:17:20For others, it isn't though. Okay? So,
1:17:23you can bring your words and notice how
1:17:25your lover responds. Or you can ask them
1:17:27like, "Does it turn you on to have me
1:17:30say like, you know, what I love about
1:17:32you." Just notice, notice their
1:17:34breathing. Notice how they move. Notice
1:17:36whether they're like it creates more
1:17:38turn on in their body or less. And when
1:17:41I say energy, it's yes, it can be words,
1:17:44but it's this is hard to articulate for
1:17:47me, but
1:17:49there's an intention there. I would call
1:17:51it an intention that you bring into the
1:17:54room.
1:17:56Your intention is to bring in this
1:17:59energy of worship
1:18:03and and and that is felt. Even if you
1:18:07say nothing, it is felt.
1:18:10In comparison to jumping into bed,
1:18:16telling your partner you want to have
1:18:17sex with them, wrapping your hand around
1:18:19their penis, putting your mouth on it,
1:18:21and just going for it.
1:18:24There's a difference there. Or just
1:18:25going down on your woman, licking their
1:18:27[ __ ] maybe putting your finger in their
1:18:29[ __ ] and just going hard until they
1:18:32potentially have an a quick, short,
1:18:34sharp orgasm and go to sleep. There's a
1:18:37difference in those two.
1:18:44Devotion is not a word. It is a
1:18:46frequency. And your body knows the
1:18:48difference.
1:18:50Your body always knows the difference.
1:18:52If you apply everything that I'm
1:18:54teaching today to your sex life or your
1:18:57future sex life, your body will feel it.
1:19:03Let's go into communication.
1:19:07This is big. This is big. Like I've got
1:19:10a whole a whole um master class on this
1:19:15inside sex life and I could talk about
1:19:17it for days and days because
1:19:19communication is the the foundation one
1:19:22of the foundations, right? And it's
1:19:25something that we're just not taught.
1:19:26It's like who here was brought up in a
1:19:31household with parents who who taught us
1:19:33how to communicate effectively,
1:19:35who didn't just teach us, but who
1:19:37modeled that for us consistently
1:19:38throughout our childhood? Is was anyone
1:19:41brought up in a in a household like
1:19:44that?
1:19:48Yeah. Nope. Nope. Nope. No way. I
1:19:51honestly
1:19:53mostly everyone says no. I wasn't. I
1:19:56certainly wasn't. My parents did their
1:19:58best, but I I wasn't brought up in a
1:20:00household where communication was
1:20:02priority at all.
1:20:04So, these are This is why it's so
1:20:05important to actively learn how to
1:20:08communicate.
1:20:10Communication is is about it's not just
1:20:14about saying, but it's about listening,
1:20:16too. And that's important to know.
1:20:17There's so many ways that we can um like
1:20:22learn how to express our desires,
1:20:26but there's not enough being taught of
1:20:28like how do you receive that and how do
1:20:29you sit with that and how do we actively
1:20:32listen to our partner without getting
1:20:35defensive,
1:20:39without, you know, interrupting, without
1:20:41filling in the the silence, all the
1:20:43things. There's there's like so much to
1:20:45this, right? and we're just touching the
1:20:46tip of an iceberg.
1:20:50So, these are questions that I want you
1:20:52to ask yourself and take away from this.
1:20:54Take a photo of this. So, you've got it.
1:20:59These are really simple questions that
1:21:01will, if you're a couple, it's great to
1:21:03answer individually and then come
1:21:05together and share.
1:21:07What am I loving? What I'm loving about
1:21:09my sex life is
1:21:13what I want more of is. What I want less
1:21:17of is. And something I've never said out
1:21:19loud but want to bring into our sex play
1:21:22is.
1:21:24These are really simple questions
1:21:28that often bring up a lot.
1:21:32They often bring up a lot for us. Now,
1:21:34if you're single, this you this is
1:21:36equally as important that you answer
1:21:38this because it's going to inform you of
1:21:40what you're going to be seeking and
1:21:41manifesting in your next lover or your
1:21:44next partner.
1:21:46And you can bring in these desires and
1:21:49you can speak into them when you meet
1:21:51them.
1:21:53Keep your ears and eyes and heart out
1:21:55for someone who you feel could meet you
1:21:58in in exploring deeper.
1:22:02This is a beautiful exercise to do as a
1:22:05single or in relationship.
1:22:14Now,
1:22:16if you are wanting to communicate
1:22:18something to your partner, wanting to
1:22:20request something new,
1:22:23often what can happen when it comes to
1:22:25sex is that it creates conflict. someone
1:22:28gets triggered.
1:22:30You know, it it's a like people avoid
1:22:34conversations about sex so much. And
1:22:36this is a big part of the work I do is
1:22:38supporting people to learn how do we
1:22:39communicate effectively and supporting
1:22:42couples to to to communicate effectively
1:22:45so that they can explore their desires
1:22:48feeling safe and feeling met. And it
1:22:50doesn't necessarily mean that we're
1:22:52going to communicate something and have
1:22:54it met,
1:22:56but just feeling safe enough to do so is
1:22:59sometimes all we need.
1:23:03So,
1:23:06when you're communicating what you
1:23:08desire with a new lover or or a current
1:23:11lover or partner, your wife, your
1:23:13husband, whoever it is,
1:23:16here's a script for you. What I want you
1:23:18to do is also use the sandwich method,
1:23:22which is you're going to say something
1:23:23positive. You're then going to request
1:23:25what you want. You're then going to say
1:23:26something positive again. So, the
1:23:29example I've got here is, "I love sex so
1:23:33much with you, babe." Whatever you call
1:23:35your lover. I love it so much.
1:23:39and something I've been curious to
1:23:42explore is
1:23:45X Y Z whatever it is
1:23:49and I'm wondering would you be open to
1:23:51exploring it with me
1:23:56that's it
1:23:59you don't need to justify what you're
1:24:01wanting to explore you don't need to
1:24:03overexlain
1:24:05and you don't need to be demanding the
1:24:07opposite of this would
1:24:09Babe, I'm so [ __ ] sick of us not
1:24:12having sex. Like, I'm really at my wit's
1:24:14end with it. Don't know what to do.
1:24:17Like, I really, really want to explore
1:24:18BDSM, but like, I know you're not going
1:24:20to want that. Are you? Are you going to
1:24:22want that? Like, that's the unhealthy
1:24:23way. That's just one example of many of
1:24:26how we can approach communication around
1:24:28sex that instantly shuts our partner
1:24:30down, instantly makes them wrong, and
1:24:33makes sex wrong with them. And you're
1:24:36not going to get
1:24:38what you need or what you desire by
1:24:40communicating in that way.
1:24:43Bring an open heart. Bring a softness
1:24:45and see what happens.
1:24:48You don't need to justify your desires.
1:24:52Now, if you're receiving a request from
1:24:54a partner, your job isn't to say yes to
1:24:58everything. I want to kind of really
1:24:59back you on this. You don't have to say
1:25:02yes. You're you're allowed to say no.
1:25:05Actually, you are allowed to say no.
1:25:10But if there's a part of you that's
1:25:12curious and open,
1:25:15just sit with it. You could perhaps
1:25:17respond and say, "Babe, thank you for
1:25:19bringing that to me. Like, I know this
1:25:20is big for you to communicate this with
1:25:22me, and I love sex with you, too, and I
1:25:26just need to take a bit of time to like
1:25:28sit with this and sit with whether it
1:25:32feels right for me to explore this." Or
1:25:34you may be like, "Babe, hell yes. I've
1:25:37been thinking about this, too."
1:25:42Is this is this um landing for people? I
1:25:45would love to hear from you. Like,
1:25:48cuz communication's so big, right? And
1:25:50so many of us struggle with it, myself
1:25:52included.
1:25:55But when we can bring a bit more
1:25:56softness and intentionality into it
1:26:01and when we can just like sit with
1:26:04what's being requested of us,
1:26:10it's helpful.
1:26:18Now,
1:26:20when you're triggered, we all get
1:26:22triggered. We all get triggered at some
1:26:25stage no matter what we're speaking
1:26:27about. Trigger. A trigger is when we
1:26:29hear something or we feel something or
1:26:31we see something and inside we feel a
1:26:34little disrupted. We're like, "That's
1:26:36brought something up in me that doesn't
1:26:38feel comfortable."
1:26:40So, if your partner comes to you
1:26:43expressing a desire
1:26:46or if you in general feel triggered,
1:26:49I want you to just sit with yourself for
1:26:51a moment before responding. Now, this is
1:26:53easier said than done, right? I myself
1:26:56am not the best at this. If I'm deeply
1:26:58triggered, there is a part of me that
1:27:00just wants to rage back.
1:27:03There's a part of me that wants to make
1:27:06my partner wrong.
1:27:10But what you need to recognize is that
1:27:13when we're triggered, often we're
1:27:14distorting reality. So the best thing we
1:27:17can do is to stay with our body and the
1:27:20emotion it's bringing up until we move
1:27:22move beyond the story that we're we're
1:27:25making about what's been requested of
1:27:27us.
1:27:29We need to be deeply compassionate.
1:27:32And then if it blows up
1:27:35or if repair is needed
1:27:40or if there's something that you deeply
1:27:42desire to communicate with your partner
1:27:44but you're so nervous about doing so,
1:27:47the best thing to do
1:27:49is if you if you feel like you need to
1:27:52have potentially a challenging
1:27:53conversation is not to pounce on them
1:27:55like I have done in the past when
1:27:57they're in the shower and corner them
1:28:00or you know you know that situation
1:28:02where your partner walks home from work
1:28:04and they've had a big day and you're
1:28:05like, "Babe, we need to talk." And it's
1:28:07like, they're clearly not in the right
1:28:09state for you to be
1:28:12talking about something sensitive. The
1:28:15best thing you can do is to ask them,
1:28:16"When's a good time to talk about
1:28:18something that's important to me?" You
1:28:20can text them if they're at work and ask
1:28:22them. You can call them, you can
1:28:24whatever it is. I usually will text
1:28:25Nick, say if he's out all day and I'm
1:28:28feeling a lot of charge in my body and
1:28:29I'm like, I really need to talk to him
1:28:31tonight. like I can't let this go. I
1:28:33will say, "Hey baby, when's a good time
1:28:35to talk about something that's important
1:28:36to me?" And what that does is it gives
1:28:39him an opportunity to um prepare for a
1:28:42conversation and to know that when
1:28:45whatever time we've set up, usually it's
1:28:47after the kids go to sleep, he knows he
1:28:49needs to bring full presence into that.
1:28:52And it's like he he he can prepare
1:28:56himself to listen.
1:28:59And then when you express what you need
1:29:01or what you desire, lead with what you
1:29:04feel and what you need, not making your
1:29:07partner wrong, not the story about what
1:29:09they did wrong. Ask yourself first. Now,
1:29:12these are important questions to to
1:29:14write down. What do I feel? What do I
1:29:18need? And what would that actually
1:29:20provide me with?
1:29:22And then communicate speaking into that.
1:29:38How's everyone feeling? We're coming to
1:29:40the end of the master class and I want I
1:29:43want to hear from you. Like is this
1:29:45landing?
1:29:52You're very quiet in the chat right now.
1:29:55Yes, definitely. Feeling good. Feeling
1:29:57good.
1:30:00Incredibly helpful. Yay. That's so good.
1:30:05I in this class my
1:30:09like my intention is to bring a little
1:30:12bit of everything so that you can leave
1:30:15today or leave watching the replay
1:30:19and apply these things really
1:30:21practically to your sex life to your
1:30:23communication
1:30:26to your understanding of your own body
1:30:28and your partner's body.
1:30:34Perfect way to start the weekend. Yes,
1:30:37distracted. Thinking about connecting
1:30:39with my man tonight. Let me know how you
1:30:42go. I guarantee you after this I will
1:30:45get DMs from from women and men saying,
1:30:48"Oh my god, that worship piece. I don't
1:30:50know what I don't know what happened,
1:30:52but something happened." Often I will
1:30:54get women message me and say, "My
1:30:56partner just wants to say thank you."
1:30:58[laughter]
1:30:59Which always makes me laugh.
1:31:02Um,
1:31:04the notion that we are always distor
1:31:07distorting when triggered is so on
1:31:08point. Yeah. You know what it's like?
1:31:12Like when we're triggered, we're just
1:31:13distorting reality and it doesn't end
1:31:17great if we don't give ourselves a
1:31:20moment. Even last night, I'll give you
1:31:22an example. when it comes to
1:31:23communication. I brought up something
1:31:26with Nick and um he I I honestly I
1:31:31shouldn't have brought it up in the time
1:31:32that I did because he'd had a really
1:31:34stressful day. Um we just got the kids
1:31:36to bed and I didn't give him any warning
1:31:40that um I wanted to bring something up
1:31:42with him and so I shared with him how I
1:31:46was feeling and I was like I just really
1:31:48want to make time to talk about this
1:31:49tonight. like I can't go into the
1:31:51weekend feeling like this. And he
1:31:54listened and then he said, "Babe, I hear
1:31:57you. I'm going to take a bath and then
1:32:02we can discuss this." And part of me
1:32:04wanted to be like, "No, we need to
1:32:06discuss it now." But I was like, "Okay,
1:32:09this is him sharing that like he just
1:32:12needs to take a moment because he's had
1:32:14a huge day. We just finished bedtime."
1:32:17And so he took a moment. He had a bath.
1:32:20That relaxes him. It gives him time out.
1:32:24He came out. He made dinner for us. And
1:32:26then we sat down and we were both way
1:32:28calmer. And we had the conversation and
1:32:30we cleared it up.
1:32:32So it's okay to say, "Hey, now's not the
1:32:35right time,
1:32:38right?"
1:32:40And often these conversations, you know,
1:32:42they can bring up stuff. And that's
1:32:44where it comes back to like personal
1:32:46growth, devotion to growing together.
1:32:49Often for us, it's getting the support
1:32:51of a therapist or or like a mentor to
1:32:55have a session with and support us to
1:32:57have the conversations.
1:33:01And it's just deep deep commitment to
1:33:03like working on our own [ __ ] basically.
1:33:07And when we do, the sex just keeps
1:33:09getting better and better and better.
1:33:12I can honestly say 9 years down the
1:33:14track, yes, we're having less sex right
1:33:17now because we have two small children
1:33:19and we co-sleep.
1:33:22That's another story for another time.
1:33:24We have less sex, but when we do have
1:33:26sex, it just keeps getting better and
1:33:29better. And I genuinely am so excited
1:33:32for the rest of my life with my man and
1:33:34how I can see the potential of like how
1:33:38our sex life is going to continue to
1:33:40grow and how we're going to continue to
1:33:42explore because we're deeply committed
1:33:44to growth together and individually.
1:33:48We're not going to let things slip over
1:33:50time.
1:33:53I'm going off on a tangent here, but it
1:33:54feels important to share, you know.
1:33:57Yeah. For the couples, it's like both of
1:34:00you right now, if you're here together,
1:34:02and if you're here together and one of
1:34:04you has has said like, "We really need
1:34:06to do this. I'm not happy." Whatever it
1:34:08is, come together
1:34:11and ask each other, is this a priority
1:34:13for you? And if it is, and I I'm sensing
1:34:15that it would be if you're both here
1:34:17right now today or you're both watching
1:34:18the replay together,
1:34:21then it's like, okay, this is a priority
1:34:23moving forward. What's the plan? How do
1:34:26we want to continue this work both
1:34:28individually and together?
1:34:36Thank you for being here.
1:34:39It has been such such an honor to have
1:34:42you all here today. I just feel so
1:34:44deeply grateful that I get to spend my
1:34:46Saturday with you. Oh, thank you,
1:34:48Charles. I was going to see some Oh,
1:34:50thanks. I love it when everyone helps
1:34:52each other.
1:34:54I now have an invitation for you. If
1:34:56this has sparked something in you,
1:35:00if you are like feeling lit up or you're
1:35:02feeling curious or you're like, "Oh, I
1:35:04have a lot of work to do on this." Or if
1:35:07you're like, "Fuck yeah, my sex is
1:35:09great, but I want it to go next level."
1:35:12I have an invitation.
1:35:15I uh Yes, it was this year. This year I
1:35:20created a new offering for my community
1:35:23and it is for women.
1:35:25So guys, love you. Thank you for being
1:35:28here. This is for the women. This this
1:35:30um invitation I've created a private
1:35:34membership for women and it we have over
1:35:37a hundred women in there. A beautiful
1:35:39community of women who are always
1:35:40sharing and and um and supporting each
1:35:44other. That's what I love about it. It's
1:35:47for women who want to feel turned on by
1:35:49life. Not just turned on in sex. It's
1:35:51for women who have this deep desire to
1:35:54wake up every morning and go to sleep
1:35:56every night and be like, "Fuck yeah, I
1:35:59am loving my life and I'm feeling turned
1:36:02on in general." Cuz that's where it all
1:36:04begins.
1:36:06It's for you if you want to feel really
1:36:08deeply confident in your body, in your
1:36:11sex, you want to like explore your
1:36:14desires,
1:36:16making love to life. Yes, Biana, that's
1:36:18what it's about. It's like it's s I
1:36:21actually love that phrase. I'm going to
1:36:23definitely take that one.
1:36:27The invitation is to come into sex life
1:36:31every month. Every month there's a live
1:36:34session with me and I'm teaching on all
1:36:36sorts of things, relationship, intimacy.
1:36:38Um, this month which was a couple of
1:36:41days ago was on chemistry and how do we
1:36:43keep that that like passion and
1:36:45chemistry alive in relationship and what
1:36:48are the ways that we block it.
1:36:51What's the weekly time commitment? I
1:36:52will tell you in a moment, Olivia, great
1:36:54question. You get access to all my
1:36:56foundational um programs. Every week I
1:36:59record a new private podcast which is
1:37:01like about a 20 minute lesson from me.
1:37:04You get the community and you also get
1:37:06all my new courses. So for example,
1:37:09every woman inside sex life gets access
1:37:11to this. So anything new that I come out
1:37:13with gets added in there. The weekly
1:37:16commitment it honestly it depends on
1:37:20you.
1:37:21Every month I do a master class which is
1:37:24an hour and a half. You get access to
1:37:26all the past replays and the re replay
1:37:28every month. There's hours of content in
1:37:32there. Like the feedback I've had from
1:37:34women in there is like, "Oh my god,
1:37:35there's so much here." Like I've just
1:37:37always got something to listen to, you
1:37:39know, with the podcast, etc. There's so
1:37:41much in there. And you get access to me
1:37:44and you know, I'm present in there. I'm
1:37:47replying to your comments and I'm
1:37:48getting to know everyone which is so
1:37:50great. And like as a facilitator,
1:37:53you know, it's one thing to lead master
1:37:55classes like this and have 500 people
1:37:58sign up. It's another thing for me to um
1:38:02create a community of likeminded women
1:38:05who value the same thing and bring
1:38:08content in that really hits home for
1:38:11them and supports them. My intention is
1:38:14to support you. If you're inside sex
1:38:16life, you'll know to integrate and
1:38:20embody the work into daily life so that
1:38:23you're not just learning, you're
1:38:25embodying it and it's having an impact
1:38:28full life, not just for a moment. So, if
1:38:32you um are still with me right now and
1:38:35you want to join, I'm giving you 25% off
1:38:39and you will lock in the monthly fee for
1:38:42as long as you're in there. 25% off.
1:38:45That's the lowest that I'll ever offer
1:38:47it. It's usually 99 a month and it's
1:38:50only 74 a month. Um, anyone who joins in
1:38:54the next 48 hours will get access to a
1:38:57group Q&A call with me next week. And
1:39:01that is for everyone who's been inside
1:39:02this master class who wants to ask me
1:39:04all the questions and dive deeper into
1:39:06these concepts. I really want to support
1:39:09you one onone like that. Obviously, it's
1:39:11not one-on-one, but it's going to be
1:39:12intimate. So you it's it'll be like a
1:39:14group coaching call. So if you want to
1:39:17join in the next 48 hours, use the code
1:39:20next level 25 and then the replay of
1:39:23this expires in 7 days. If you join in
1:39:26the next seven days after the 48 hours,
1:39:29you get 15% off. Okay, all the details
1:39:33are here. Take a photo if you're keen.
1:39:35If you are not, that is so okay. Like I
1:39:39am just so deeply grateful that you're
1:39:40here today. I get to see all your
1:39:42beautiful faces. You get to um yeah,
1:39:46just be in my world for 90 well it's now
1:39:48two hours I would say. It's just such an
1:39:51honor to have you here. But if you do
1:39:53want to come inside sex life, I would
1:39:55love to see you inside. Love to connect
1:39:58with you. You're all amazing.
1:40:01Thank you for being here.
1:40:05>> Thank you so much.
1:40:06>> Yay. Thank you.
1:40:11>> [gasps]
1:40:11>> Thank you. Thank you. I love you all so
1:40:14much. Thank you for supporting my work.
1:40:18Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for
1:40:19sharing on socials.
1:40:21Appreciate it. My biggest like honestly
1:40:26my mission in life aside from being a
1:40:29really great parent to my three
1:40:31beautiful children and a really
1:40:35beautiful partner to my man Nick. My
1:40:39mission is to just impact as many people
1:40:42as possible with this work. And I want
1:40:46people to feel like sexually free and
1:40:48alive. And I want women and men to
1:40:55feel safe enough to like talk about
1:40:57their desires and explore them and
1:41:00embrace their true sexual essence.
1:41:02That's all I want. [snorts]
1:41:04So, thank you for being here.
1:41:07Thanks for investing in you and
1:41:09investing in my work. And I look forward
1:41:12to hopefully connecting with you in the
1:41:15future.
1:41:16Thank you. Thank you. Thanks, Helena.
1:41:19Pashka, Alex, Pip,
1:41:22Shan, Shanni. I'm hoping I'm saying
1:41:24these words right. Rosemary, Nina,
1:41:27Helena, Angela, Bianca. Oh my gosh, so
1:41:30many people.
1:41:35The replay will be available this
1:41:36afternoon, okay? We'll we'll email it
1:41:38out to you.
1:41:41Lots and lots of lots of lots of love.
1:41:44If you have any questions, please reach
1:41:46out via email. Like either me or Lauren,
1:41:48we're always Monday to Friday. We are in
1:41:51the inbox and Lauren is an absolute
1:41:54superstar who works for me and runs my
1:41:56entire business. And she will get back
1:41:59to me will get back to you or I will get
1:42:01back to you if you have questions about
1:42:02sex life, if you want to work with me
1:42:04oneon-one. Um there's actually a link up
1:42:07now if you want to work with me
1:42:08oneonone. there's a link. Um I've opened
1:42:11up regular sessions for the next two
1:42:13months, which is so exciting because up
1:42:14till now I just haven't had the space um
1:42:19to have regular sessions available. But
1:42:21um that's also available at the moment.
1:42:24Um love you guys. So good to see all
1:42:27your beautiful faces, matching the names
1:42:29to the faces. A lot of you been in my
1:42:31DMs and yeah, so great to connect.
1:42:33Sending lots of love.
1:42:36Bye.

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