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Sex and Dating Apps | Rob Henderson | EP 193 — Transcript

by Jordan B Peterson · 19,159 words · 3,185 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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  1. 0:04i wonder if this has something to do
  2. 0:06with just sort of sociosexual
  3. 0:07orientation of you know whoever whoever
  4. 0:10happens to be expanding the beliefs so
  5. 0:13if you tend to be a person who's had
  6. 0:15your heart broken or had a lot of
  7. 0:16negative interactions maybe you had the
  8. 0:18expectation of monogamy and then you
  9. 0:20sort of have one too many negative
  10. 0:21experiences then you may start to be
  11. 0:23very preoccupied with uh with the issue
  12. 0:26of concern i think that's exactly what
  13. 0:28happens i i think that so you know we
  14. 0:30talked about people being shielded from
  15. 0:32the consequences of their luxury beliefs
  16. 0:35and they're shielded to some degree
  17. 0:38right but my suspicions are is that the
  18. 0:41relationship between sex and emotional
  19. 0:44intimacy is a lot tighter than people
  20. 0:46want to presuppose when they
  21. 0:49insist that all forms of sexual
  22. 0:51expression are laudable it's just not
  23. 0:53the case emotionally
  24. 0:58[Music]
  25. 1:14hello everyone i'm pleased today to be
  26. 1:16able to speak with rob henderson he's a
  27. 1:18phd student in evolutionary and social
  28. 1:20psychology and gates cambridge scholar
  29. 1:23at the university of cambridge he
  30. 1:26received his bachelor's degree in
  31. 1:27science in psychology from yale and is a
  32. 1:29veteran of the u.s air force
  33. 1:32his writing has appeared in the new york
  34. 1:33times the wall street journal and
  35. 1:35colette among other outlets he is
  36. 1:38currently writing a memoir tentatively
  37. 1:41titled troubled a memoir of foster care
  38. 1:44family and social class to be published
  39. 1:46in late 2022 by gallery books a division
  40. 1:49of simon schuster
  41. 1:51he is possibly best known for the idea
  42. 1:54of luxury beliefs which is where i first
  43. 1:57came across them first published in the
  44. 1:59new york post in short form and then in
  45. 2:01longer form in colette thanks very much
  46. 2:04for agreeing to talk to me today rob
  47. 2:06it's a pleasure to have you here
  48. 2:09it's great to be here dr peterson thank
  49. 2:10you no problem so let's talk first of
  50. 2:13all about luxury beliefs and exactly
  51. 2:15what that means and how you came
  52. 2:17uh come up with the idea and
  53. 2:19what the consequence of disseminating it
  54. 2:21has been
  55. 2:23yes so the luxury beliefs idea
  56. 2:26i define as ideas and opinions that
  57. 2:29confer status on the upper class while
  58. 2:31often inflicting costs on the lower
  59. 2:33social classes
  60. 2:35and i mean there are multiple strands to
  61. 2:37this idea but it originally started with
  62. 2:39my observations in undergrad at yale um
  63. 2:42so as you said you know currently i'm a
  64. 2:44grad student at cambridge before this i
  65. 2:46was a student at yale but before that my
  66. 2:48life was a lot different i grew up in
  67. 2:50foster homes in la
  68. 2:52later i was adopted into a working class
  69. 2:55town in northern california serving the
  70. 2:57military so i just had a completely
  71. 2:58different
  72. 2:59set of life experiences and background
  73. 3:01than many of my peers
  74. 3:03at this ivy league university
  75. 3:05and
  76. 3:06in that new york post essay the
  77. 3:09the original luxury beliefs essay i
  78. 3:11opened with this story of uh this
  79. 3:12conversation i had with a classmate of
  80. 3:14mine in undergrad
  81. 3:15uh we're sort of talking about
  82. 3:16relationships and career and she said to
  83. 3:18me you know i just think monogamy is
  84. 3:20outdated i just think it's you know not
  85. 3:23really good for society i think it's
  86. 3:24just this sort of old patriarchal way of
  87. 3:26thinking
  88. 3:27and i'd heard things like this before
  89. 3:29but this time i asked her um
  90. 3:31well what do you plan to do you know
  91. 3:33what do you want to do with with your
  92. 3:35own life and with your own relationship
  93. 3:36situation and so on in the future and
  94. 3:39she herself said well i'd like to get
  95. 3:41married and settle down and have a
  96. 3:43family at some point you know sort of
  97. 3:44after my career takes off and i asked
  98. 3:46her what was your life like before that
  99. 3:48you know how did you grow up and
  100. 3:50essentially she had come from a very
  101. 3:52stable intact to parent family
  102. 3:54and so
  103. 3:56this
  104. 3:57puzzled me because this was uh
  105. 3:59emblematic of so many of the opinions
  106. 4:01i'd heard of my uh in undergrad from my
  107. 4:03peers they would say one thing they
  108. 4:05would believe this one set of
  109. 4:07interesting or unusual beliefs that i'd
  110. 4:10never heard before from anyone else uh
  111. 4:12but then they themselves had come from
  112. 4:14sort of more conventional uh
  113. 4:17upbringings
  114. 4:18and they themselves planned to have that
  115. 4:20kind of life that sort of uh more stable
  116. 4:23traditional family i'd once heard
  117. 4:24someone put this way that um you know a
  118. 4:27lot of sort of affluent
  119. 4:29people they uh what is it they walk the
  120. 4:3150s and talk the 60s and i wondered you
  121. 4:34know what's going on here
  122. 4:36um
  123. 4:37and so while i was an undergrad i came
  124. 4:39across a series of papers series of
  125. 4:41ideas both from psychology and sociology
  126. 4:43so these sort of sociological aspects um
  127. 4:47i drew this from thorsten vablin
  128. 4:49and vaden's idea you know he wrote the
  129. 4:50theory the leisure class in the late
  130. 4:5119th century and he basically said that
  131. 4:54you know the elites of his day they
  132. 4:56broadcast their status with their
  133. 4:57material goods with you know expensive
  134. 5:00clothes tuxedos uh evening gowns they
  135. 5:03take up these very uh expensive and
  136. 5:05time-consuming hobbies like golf or
  137. 5:07beagling
  138. 5:08and all of this is to basically indicate
  139. 5:10their high social position and you know
  140. 5:12some people say this book was written
  141. 5:13sort of tongue-in-cheek but i think
  142. 5:15there's a lot of truth to this
  143. 5:17now if we fast forward to the modern day
  144. 5:19uh i think it's there are two things
  145. 5:21going on with why it's not actually
  146. 5:23fashionable anymore to display your
  147. 5:25status with luxury goods with material
  148. 5:28goods
  149. 5:30number one i think it's become viewed as
  150. 5:31kind of gauche if you walk around an ivy
  151. 5:33league campus today the students don't
  152. 5:35look like they don't have the iv look of
  153. 5:37like the 1950s or 1960s they kind of
  154. 5:39just look like regular college students
  155. 5:41number one
  156. 5:42and i mean this is true pretty much
  157. 5:44anywhere if you look at very wealthy
  158. 5:46people and the famous example of this
  159. 5:48would be mark zuckerberg wearing cargo
  160. 5:51shorts and a hoodie it's just not that
  161. 5:52cool anymore to
  162. 5:54wear clothes that indicate that your
  163. 5:56high social status
  164. 5:57the other thing is material goods have
  165. 5:59become more affordable
  166. 6:01um you know even my sort of poor and
  167. 6:03working class friends back home all of
  168. 6:05them have iphones um you know maybe of
  169. 6:08course like their life
  170. 6:09aren't as comfortable as my peers in
  171. 6:11college but a lot of material goods have
  172. 6:13become so affordable that it's become
  173. 6:14harder to stand out in that way yeah you
  174. 6:17so reflected i think to some degree in
  175. 6:19the decline in burglary
  176. 6:22all right material objects just aren't
  177. 6:24as worth as much as they were and so
  178. 6:25they don't distinguish between people
  179. 6:27anymore
  180. 6:28it's not worth it anymore uh to steal
  181. 6:31things
  182. 6:31and and so so that's uh that's the
  183. 6:34aspect of it that led me to think okay
  184. 6:37well
  185. 6:38first of all you know luxury goods are
  186. 6:40not being displayed as much by the upper
  187. 6:42class but i still think it still seems
  188. 6:44to me they care very much about social
  189. 6:45status and this is where the psychology
  190. 6:47aspect of it comes in
  191. 6:49from a researcher named cameron anderson
  192. 6:51at uc berkeley he's a psychologist who
  193. 6:52found
  194. 6:54he and his colleagues found that
  195. 6:55basically
  196. 6:56the upper class cares the most about
  197. 6:58social status
  198. 6:59they care the most about obtaining it
  199. 7:01and they care the most about preserving
  200. 7:02it which at first i thought was a bit
  201. 7:05counter-intuitive i thought that perhaps
  202. 7:07the the most downtrodden
  203. 7:09the kind of uh people who are in the
  204. 7:10lowest strengths of society we care the
  205. 7:12most about obtaining money and wealth
  206. 7:13and status but that's actually not true
  207. 7:15it's the people who are already at the
  208. 7:16top who care the most about it and
  209. 7:18that's really what i saw at yale 2 uh
  210. 7:20where you know these people were very
  211. 7:22much they were strivers um they were
  212. 7:24very interested in pursuing status do
  213. 7:26you suppose that's a partial consequence
  214. 7:28of the fact that failure is perhaps more
  215. 7:32painful than success is rewarding
  216. 7:35so once you have it
  217. 7:37let's say you have high social status
  218. 7:39you're very much inclined to keep it
  219. 7:42because the alternative would be so
  220. 7:44i suppose in some sense unthinkable so
  221. 7:47catastrophic for you
  222. 7:50right so so this is the the idea of
  223. 7:53almost like this prospect theory idea
  224. 7:54that when you have it it hurts twice as
  225. 7:56much as obtaining it i think there is
  226. 7:58something to this idea um i noticed
  227. 8:01there was a lot of anxiety
  228. 8:03uh among many of my peers uh
  229. 8:06this feeling that they have to keep up
  230. 8:09they have to constantly strive they have
  231. 8:11to get on to the next goal
  232. 8:12and i think what exacerbates this
  233. 8:15feeling is that they're surrounded by
  234. 8:17people just like them uh it was it was a
  235. 8:19bit
  236. 8:20unlike
  237. 8:22my own experience
  238. 8:25when i had got into undergrad
  239. 8:27i um
  240. 8:29i thought like okay so i'm okay i got
  241. 8:30into college like that was my goal i
  242. 8:32never thought i was ever going to get
  243. 8:33into college and so when i got there i
  244. 8:34thought like oh i'm okay
  245. 8:36and then i saw that these people didn't
  246. 8:37feel okay that they had to get the next
  247. 8:39internship they had to get into law
  248. 8:40school they had to do this they had to
  249. 8:41do that
  250. 8:42and i think a lot of it is because
  251. 8:44they're around people they've grown up
  252. 8:45around those kinds of people their
  253. 8:47entire life
  254. 8:48and
  255. 8:49so
  256. 8:50there's this belief like it was
  257. 8:52inevitable like they always had to do
  258. 8:53this there was never a question of their
  259. 8:55success right right for me it wasn't
  260. 8:57like that yeah well it wasn't all this
  261. 8:59pressure when i taught at in boston at
  262. 9:01harvard i mean one of the things i
  263. 9:03noticed was that the students there were
  264. 9:06you know they were pleased to be at
  265. 9:07harvard there was no doubt about that
  266. 9:09but they it was extremely competitive
  267. 9:12implicitly
  268. 9:14and i suppose that's part of the
  269. 9:16consequence of it being essentially
  270. 9:18based
  271. 9:19as as much as it could be on
  272. 9:21on competitive merit
  273. 9:23and so it was also the case that many of
  274. 9:25these students had been outstanding
  275. 9:27where they had come from they were class
  276. 9:29valedictorians and usually had at least
  277. 9:31one or two other major accomplishments
  278. 9:33under their belt but then when they got
  279. 9:35to these intensely selected institutes
  280. 9:38they were also in some sense average
  281. 9:41instantly and below average in many ways
  282. 9:44because you know no matter how smart you
  283. 9:46are the probability that you're the
  284. 9:47smartest person in your class at harvard
  285. 9:49is pretty damn low
  286. 9:51and so
  287. 9:52the implicit level of competition was
  288. 9:54extremely high
  289. 9:55and so that might also exacerbate the
  290. 9:58sort of tendencies that you're
  291. 9:59describing and people tend to compare
  292. 10:01themselves to their immediate peers not
  293. 10:03to the broader world
  294. 10:05right
  295. 10:06and and and this is part of why i think
  296. 10:08is is is driving this um you know i make
  297. 10:11this this point in the essay that
  298. 10:13they're they're dunbar's number you know
  299. 10:14they're the 150 closest people to them
  300. 10:17are
  301. 10:31large part have reattached or they sort
  302. 10:32of detached status to goods and
  303. 10:34reattached it to beliefs
  304. 10:37uh and this was driven by my you know
  305. 10:39sort of what i saw where i heard
  306. 10:41opinions and ideas that i had never
  307. 10:43heard anywhere else i mean probably the
  308. 10:45most you know contentious uh recent
  309. 10:48example of what uh of a luxury belief is
  310. 10:51this idea of abolishing the police
  311. 10:54um
  312. 10:55to me this is so emblematic of
  313. 10:57you know very comfortable highly
  314. 11:00affluent educated people who would never
  315. 11:02have to bear the cost of of what that
  316. 11:04policy would entail and yet they're
  317. 11:07propounding it they're you know they're
  318. 11:09they're broadcasting it and promoting it
  319. 11:11uh with the knowledge that this is going
  320. 11:13to make them look good to their peers
  321. 11:14it's going to make them look uh
  322. 11:16progressive and interesting and
  323. 11:17provocative and win them all these
  324. 11:18social points from their social circle
  325. 11:21uh without really giving much thought to
  326. 11:23what would happen to the poorest among
  327. 11:25us
  328. 11:26and yeah
  329. 11:29one of the things that always struck me
  330. 11:31about
  331. 11:33beliefs in
  332. 11:34progressive so-called progressive causes
  333. 11:37among high status individuals or those
  334. 11:39who are about to be high status
  335. 11:41individuals which would typify everyone
  336. 11:43in an ivy league university i mean if
  337. 11:46they're not high economic status at the
  338. 11:48present time they certainly will be by
  339. 11:50all likelihood by the time they're 30 or
  340. 11:5240. so they're already part of the upper
  341. 11:55class regardless of their claims
  342. 11:57they seem to want to have it both ways
  343. 11:59they want to be members of the most
  344. 12:01privileged class and then also be
  345. 12:03rewarded
  346. 12:04for
  347. 12:05their ally ship let's say with the
  348. 12:07oppressed and so they get to be rich and
  349. 12:09privileged and friend to the oppressed
  350. 12:12at the same time which always seemed to
  351. 12:14me to be a form of of
  352. 12:17of greed rather than
  353. 12:19sympathy rather than genuine sympathy
  354. 12:22there's not much self-sacrifice involved
  355. 12:24in the adoption of the beliefs that you
  356. 12:25just described and what i don't remember
  357. 12:27who said it when the
  358. 12:29upper class catches a cold the lower
  359. 12:31class gets pneumonia
  360. 12:33and so
  361. 12:34these destabilizing beliefs are a lot
  362. 12:36harder on people at the bottom of the
  363. 12:38socioeconomic structure than they are
  364. 12:41for people at the top who as you said
  365. 12:44tend
  366. 12:44to get married disproportionately often
  367. 12:47compared to people who are lower down on
  368. 12:49the socioeconomic structure
  369. 12:52yeah there's uh there's sort of this
  370. 12:56sinister theme that i saw sometimes uh
  371. 12:59where
  372. 13:00i would see students for example say um
  373. 13:03that investment banks are emblematic of
  374. 13:05capitalist oppression
  375. 13:07and then i would see those same exact
  376. 13:09students attending recruitment sessions
  377. 13:10for goldman sachs
  378. 13:11um and
  379. 13:13my interpretation of what they were
  380. 13:14doing here
  381. 13:16is basically they were trying to
  382. 13:18undercut their rivals they were trying
  383. 13:19to undercut their competition so
  384. 13:21uh if you and i are students and i can
  385. 13:23convince you that investment banks are
  386. 13:24evil don't work there that's one less
  387. 13:26competitor that i have in my quest to
  388. 13:28the top
  389. 13:29uh some people have told me that this is
  390. 13:31too cynical
  391. 13:32i used to think that i don't know as
  392. 13:34time goes on most likely yeah well i was
  393. 13:36struck too at
  394. 13:38harvard by
  395. 13:39the disproportionate movement of
  396. 13:43harvard undergraduates into financial
  397. 13:45services
  398. 13:46so
  399. 13:47i didn't understand until i went to the
  400. 13:48united states and worked at that
  401. 13:50extraordinarily powerful university what
  402. 13:53a staggering proportion of the students
  403. 13:55end up in jobs exactly like that and
  404. 13:58they are
  405. 13:59considered
  406. 14:00very broadly i would say among the
  407. 14:02undergraduates as the highest status
  408. 14:04jobs they certainly have tremendously
  409. 14:06high starting salaries and
  410. 14:08i mean
  411. 14:09harvard produced comparatively few
  412. 14:11scientists let's say
  413. 14:14so
  414. 14:15yeah i noticed this uh i mean it's i've
  415. 14:17seen the data on this something like 30
  416. 14:19of of undergrads at places like harvard
  417. 14:21yale and princeton
  418. 14:22at least 30 it might be closer to 40
  419. 14:24percent end up working in either
  420. 14:26investment banking
  421. 14:27finance or i think tech is the the third
  422. 14:30most popular
  423. 14:31right and they end up being often being
  424. 14:33consultants and so forth so and fair
  425. 14:36enough i mean they're high cognitive
  426. 14:38ability individuals generally and so
  427. 14:40it's not surprising that they vie and
  428. 14:42they're competitive for the reasons that
  429. 14:44you described in other reasons there's
  430. 14:46powerful socialization at work too
  431. 14:48so it's not surprising that they
  432. 14:50gravitate towards those jobs but then i
  433. 14:52suppose to what degree do you think
  434. 14:54beliefs of this sort are also motivated
  435. 14:56by guilt
  436. 14:58i mean i've often i've often seen you
  437. 15:00know in the united states in particular
  438. 15:02more well-to-do people tend to put their
  439. 15:04children in private schools
  440. 15:07and i think there's a tremendous amount
  441. 15:08of guilt about that because they are
  442. 15:10well they are racially segregated
  443. 15:12comparatively speaking
  444. 15:14at least along some dimensions and and
  445. 15:17that's a really not an egalitarian thing
  446. 15:19to do even though you may be motivated
  447. 15:22to provide whatever advantage you can
  448. 15:24for your children
  449. 15:25so
  450. 15:26is it guilt as well as the broadcasting
  451. 15:28of status in your opinion
  452. 15:31i i don't know i think that there's a
  453. 15:33lot of um
  454. 15:35performative guilt it seems like they
  455. 15:36talk a lot about guilt but when it comes
  456. 15:38to actually paying any kind of personal
  457. 15:40cost i really don't see
  458. 15:43their their behaviors aligning with
  459. 15:46their luxury beliefs uh like you said
  460. 15:48they they're willing to shell out all
  461. 15:49this money for private schools they're
  462. 15:51willing to pay money to live in secure
  463. 15:53neighborhoods there was a story last
  464. 15:55year sort of at the height of the uh the
  465. 15:57pandemic
  466. 15:58in addition to a lot of the protests and
  467. 16:00the rights that were going on in
  468. 16:01manhattan a lot of rich new yorkers fled
  469. 16:03to the hamptons and they had hired
  470. 16:05private security
  471. 16:06um
  472. 16:07and you know that's
  473. 16:09that's perfectly sensible i mean i
  474. 16:10understand why they would do that but
  475. 16:12this is sort of the the actions of of
  476. 16:14the affluent that they take um
  477. 16:16the broadcast one set of beliefs but
  478. 16:18then privately they'll do everything
  479. 16:19they can to secure the their safety and
  480. 16:23the future of their their children
  481. 16:25so maybe it's guilt but i'm not sure how
  482. 16:28how genuine it is um
  483. 16:31i mean i i just saw like i mean there's
  484. 16:32so many examples of these luxury beliefs
  485. 16:34that i saw uh you know from like i said
  486. 16:36the the police issue
  487. 16:38to uh the like open borders
  488. 16:41to uh decriminalization of drugs i mean
  489. 16:44all of these uh
  490. 16:46these issues i think
  491. 16:48are
  492. 16:50disproportionately harmful to
  493. 16:52working class lower class people
  494. 16:54and there's there's no
  495. 16:56cost no actual maybe there's guilt but
  496. 16:59there's no actual uh uh sort of
  497. 17:02costly uh benefit or costly extraction
  498. 17:06well it also may be that when you're
  499. 17:09relatively have been relatively
  500. 17:11protected
  501. 17:13but implicitly let's say okay so
  502. 17:17you live in a gated community you live
  503. 17:18among wealthy people you live in a
  504. 17:20neighborhood where crime is essentially
  505. 17:22non-existent
  506. 17:24where privation is essentially
  507. 17:25non-existent all of these things
  508. 17:29then
  509. 17:29the cost of
  510. 17:32order provision seems disproportionately
  511. 17:35high because you have no idea what it's
  512. 17:37good for
  513. 17:39and so you can imagine that you might
  514. 17:41also be inclined to only look at the
  515. 17:44negative side of
  516. 17:45well drug criminalization and police
  517. 17:48funding and all of that because
  518. 17:53it doesn't appear in your world that
  519. 17:54there's a necessity for those things
  520. 17:57so if you've lived your whole life so
  521. 18:00comfortably and you've never experienced
  522. 18:02any kind of hardship or any serious
  523. 18:04hardship then a lot of this is taken for
  524. 18:06granted well at least not of the not the
  525. 18:08kind of hardship i mean it's not like
  526. 18:10people who are well-off don't still have
  527. 18:12hardship because their families get sick
  528. 18:14and there's still all sorts of but
  529. 18:15they're protected very well from social
  530. 18:18unrest let's say
  531. 18:20and so the means necessary to ensure
  532. 18:23that
  533. 18:24society remains at peace the enforcement
  534. 18:27reasons for example and that would
  535. 18:29include border protection
  536. 18:31seem exclusionary and unnecessary when
  537. 18:35they've never been a threat of any sort
  538. 18:37at all
  539. 18:39yes i mean
  540. 18:41even beyond the physical safety issue
  541. 18:43um
  542. 18:44one one other interesting example of
  543. 18:46this phenomenon i think is
  544. 18:49a lot of people in tech these sort of
  545. 18:52tech tycoons will
  546. 18:54sort of promote the benefits of
  547. 18:56addictive technology while privately
  548. 18:59they uh go on these sort of dopamine
  549. 19:01fasts they don't use this technology
  550. 19:03steve jobs famously would not let his
  551. 19:05kids use an ipad
  552. 19:07um a lot of other
  553. 19:10people in tech reportedly tell their
  554. 19:11nannies to carefully monitor how much
  555. 19:13their children use smartphones and so on
  556. 19:17there are tv personalities who own
  557. 19:20television networks but they don't have
  558. 19:21a tv at home
  559. 19:22and a lot of this i think is sort of
  560. 19:24like you know don't get high on your own
  561. 19:25supply uh you know addictive technology
  562. 19:29is okay for the masses all of you can
  563. 19:30sort of get sucked into these screens
  564. 19:32but i'm going to be very careful with
  565. 19:33how me and my children and my family
  566. 19:35interact with this technology that i'm
  567. 19:37getting rich off of
  568. 19:38so it goes even beyond the sort of
  569. 19:41physical security i think it's more even
  570. 19:44more so about
  571. 19:45um
  572. 19:46you know you're taking care of yourself
  573. 19:49while not so much thinking about the
  574. 19:51harmful effects on on others
  575. 19:54yeah so it's a matter of wanting to have
  576. 19:55it both ways and so what what would you
  577. 19:58consider
  578. 19:59what is the universe of luxury beliefs
  579. 20:04like uh
  580. 20:05well i would say that luxury beliefs are
  581. 20:07are primarily situated of course uh
  582. 20:09among highly educated affluent people
  583. 20:12and essentially i mean there's
  584. 20:15i suppose you know i'm not keeping this
  585. 20:17compendium at least not yet of every
  586. 20:19luxury belief that exists but
  587. 20:21essentially um if someone of a high
  588. 20:23social position expresses a belief i
  589. 20:26think it's important for anyone who
  590. 20:27holds any kind of influential position
  591. 20:29in society to think about well what are
  592. 20:31the consequences of if that belief were
  593. 20:33to be implemented and especially when it
  594. 20:35trickles down um
  595. 20:38it's one of the effects
  596. 20:41yeah well i mean conservatives are
  597. 20:42always concerned with unintended
  598. 20:44consequences right and so they don't
  599. 20:46presume that hypothetically benevolent
  600. 20:49social policies are going to produce a
  601. 20:51positive result
  602. 20:53sure and and i think there's there are
  603. 20:55social patterns that that uh give reason
  604. 20:58for for concern so for example um
  605. 21:01the this idea of sexual promiscuity i
  606. 21:04think the the latest manifestation of
  607. 21:06this is is polyamory um i had this
  608. 21:09conversation with a friend of mine uh
  609. 21:11you know a couple years ago he uh told
  610. 21:13me you know rob when i when i opened up
  611. 21:14my my tinder app you know this dating
  612. 21:16app uh and i i put the radius to just a
  613. 21:19couple of miles around you know he also
  614. 21:21attends you know a university when i
  615. 21:24when i put it just to a couple miles
  616. 21:25around
  617. 21:26um you know it's pretty much all of my
  618. 21:28matches all of the other profiles i see
  619. 21:30are other other women students at the
  620. 21:32university
  621. 21:33and when i look at their bios
  622. 21:35half of them say that they're
  623. 21:37polyamorous or they're interested in an
  624. 21:39open relationship or they're not looking
  625. 21:41for anything too serious
  626. 21:43and then he told me when he extended the
  627. 21:45radius to match with women outside of
  628. 21:47the university uh
  629. 21:49into the town which is um you know sort
  630. 21:52of this working-class town
  631. 21:54uh he said that about half of the women
  632. 21:56that he he saw on on his app were single
  633. 21:59moms
  634. 22:00and
  635. 22:01so and it's the same age group right
  636. 22:02like 18 to say 23 years old so in the
  637. 22:05university they're interested in having
  638. 22:07fun and then the 18 to 23 year old
  639. 22:10working class women are having a much
  640. 22:11different experience of life
  641. 22:14and my claim is that the luxury beliefs
  642. 22:16of the former have basically trickled
  643. 22:19down and wrecked havoc among the latter
  644. 22:22so starting in the 1960s
  645. 22:24there's data from robert putnam and
  646. 22:26charles murray and others which you may
  647. 22:27have seen showing for example that in
  648. 22:291960
  649. 22:31uh working children born to working
  650. 22:33class families and children born to
  651. 22:34affluent families 95 of them were uh
  652. 22:38born and raised by both of their birth
  653. 22:40parents
  654. 22:41and if you fast forward from 1960 to
  655. 22:442005
  656. 22:45uh the affluent families the children of
  657. 22:48the affluent
  658. 22:49uh had dipped slightly so it was 95 in
  659. 22:511960 and by 2005 it had dropped to 85
  660. 22:54percent so it was a slight drop but by
  661. 22:56and large still overwhelmingly uh intact
  662. 22:58families and for the working class again
  663. 23:00in 1960 was 95 and by 2005 it had
  664. 23:03dropped to 30 percent so a completely
  665. 23:05different world
  666. 23:06too because there's an interesting
  667. 23:09progression
  668. 23:10between different ethnicities and races
  669. 23:13along that curve so the first correct me
  670. 23:16if i'm wrong but i believe this to be
  671. 23:18the case the first population that
  672. 23:20really affected was the black population
  673. 23:23then it was the hispanic population
  674. 23:26then it was the the white population but
  675. 23:28the curves match they're just um
  676. 23:31they're just like 10 years apart
  677. 23:34if you if you look at the same
  678. 23:36socioeconomic level and so yeah that's a
  679. 23:38good example of
  680. 23:40policies that are hypothetically liberal
  681. 23:42at the high end having a devastating
  682. 23:44effect
  683. 23:45farther down
  684. 23:46and you know these people who it's
  685. 23:48people who claim that marriage for
  686. 23:50example is a patriarchal institution
  687. 23:52well the best rejoinder to that i know
  688. 23:55of is then well why do the rich get
  689. 23:56married and the poor don't
  690. 23:58they choosing to oppress themselves
  691. 24:00given their options
  692. 24:02it doesn't make any sense i mean i think
  693. 24:03it's an absolutely foolish theory to
  694. 24:05begin with but
  695. 24:07but
  696. 24:08that seems to me to be a piece of data
  697. 24:10that indicates quite clearly that if you
  698. 24:12have a choice
  699. 24:14that's what you pick or if you have the
  700. 24:16widest possible level of choices that's
  701. 24:18what you choose
  702. 24:19and so yeah it's a it's a catastrophe
  703. 24:21although you know that's that the fact
  704. 24:24that it's a catastrophe is also hidden
  705. 24:26by a whole other set of luxury beliefs
  706. 24:28like
  707. 24:29all families are of equal value
  708. 24:32which in some sense is true
  709. 24:35right because if if you're thinking
  710. 24:37about
  711. 24:39how each person should be valued and
  712. 24:41whether or not
  713. 24:42the child of a single mother should be
  714. 24:44valued well obviously the answer to that
  715. 24:46is yes but that doesn't mean that all
  716. 24:50family configurations are equally
  717. 24:52functional
  718. 24:53on average
  719. 24:55and i think the data is absolutely clear
  720. 24:57that children with intact to parent
  721. 24:59families do far better now if you get
  722. 25:02divorced there are things you can do
  723. 25:04that moderate the effect of the divorce
  724. 25:10what's his name
  725. 25:12he wrote the boy crisis
  726. 25:14warren farrell has documented farrell
  727. 25:16has documented a number of ways that
  728. 25:18people who get divorced can
  729. 25:20ensure that their children
  730. 25:22do about as well as they would in an
  731. 25:23intact family and some of that involves
  732. 25:26approximately 50 percent contact with
  733. 25:28each parent
  734. 25:30i think the parents also need to attend
  735. 25:32counseling
  736. 25:33third party counseling so that they can
  737. 25:35maintain a reasonable relationship and
  738. 25:37they have to live within
  739. 25:39something approximating a 20-minute
  740. 25:41drive from one another
  741. 25:42something like that but i mean that
  742. 25:44takes a lot of balancing and dancing to
  743. 25:46replicate that environment and it seems
  744. 25:48impossible in our society to have us
  745. 25:50discussion about the fact that
  746. 25:52some forms of families
  747. 25:55are
  748. 25:56better for children than others
  749. 25:58and because we think of any imposition
  750. 26:01of a value analysis of that sort as
  751. 26:03discriminatory and you know in some
  752. 26:05sense it is discriminatory because when
  753. 26:07you say that one thing is better you're
  754. 26:09also saying at the same time that the
  755. 26:12opposite of that is worse
  756. 26:14well then it depends on who you're
  757. 26:16trying to focus on and well i i go by
  758. 26:18the data fundamentally and
  759. 26:20you know children born to young single
  760. 26:23mothers especially if the young single
  761. 26:25mothers are troubled and therefore also
  762. 26:27easy targets for predatory males
  763. 26:30they don't do well and there's
  764. 26:32multi-generational effects of that and
  765. 26:34we're too bloody
  766. 26:36naive and
  767. 26:37and
  768. 26:40i don't know
  769. 26:42immature
  770. 26:43i guess
  771. 26:45to have a serious conversation about
  772. 26:46such things and we also don't know how
  773. 26:48to put the genie back in the bottle
  774. 26:50but there's no tax break for example for
  775. 26:53stable married couples
  776. 26:55so there's no economic policy that
  777. 26:57supports it
  778. 26:59yeah i i mean
  779. 27:01i i'm not entirely
  780. 27:03sure that that would even change
  781. 27:05much i mean i think this is much more of
  782. 27:06a cultural issue than an economic issue
  783. 27:09i mean you know a lot of people say well
  784. 27:11the reason well it's kind of interesting
  785. 27:12how how many different excuses are
  786. 27:14produced for this i mean like you said a
  787. 27:15lot of people say that it's this
  788. 27:17patriarchal institution but then why are
  789. 27:19the rich getting married more than the
  790. 27:20poor well i don't know and then a lot of
  791. 27:22people
  792. 27:22let let's talk about that for a minute i
  793. 27:24mean
  794. 27:25sure
  795. 27:27i suppose that claim is grounded in the
  796. 27:30historical
  797. 27:32interpretation that
  798. 27:35in the past
  799. 27:36women were treated in some sense
  800. 27:39as the equivalent of property
  801. 27:42and
  802. 27:44now whether or not that's a reasonable
  803. 27:46interpretation of the past is entirely
  804. 27:49up for debate although we could say that
  805. 27:51it was more true 150 years ago than it
  806. 27:53is now but we could also point out that
  807. 27:56birth control was a lot less
  808. 27:59reliable
  809. 28:01yeah and so the relationships between
  810. 28:03men and well and women didn't have the
  811. 28:04freedom they have today for all sorts of
  812. 28:06reasons hygienic reasons for that matter
  813. 28:08i mean one of the things that freed
  814. 28:10women was the easy access to
  815. 28:13technology that dealt with menstrual
  816. 28:15cycle
  817. 28:16and public toilets and all of that i
  818. 28:19mean we just don't understand how much
  819. 28:22sanitary technology for example is built
  820. 28:24into the infrastructure
  821. 28:26as well as safety
  822. 28:28because women can walk down the street
  823. 28:30unaccompanied without any problem
  824. 28:32comparatively speaking we don't
  825. 28:34understand how much of that has changed
  826. 28:35the relationship between the sexes
  827. 28:38and so
  828. 28:39there may have been property-like
  829. 28:41associations with marriage 150 years ago
  830. 28:45but first of all that doesn't
  831. 28:46necessarily mean that that was a
  832. 28:48patriarchal institution
  833. 28:50i mean it was still the case that the
  834. 28:52idea was that the men would stick around
  835. 28:55and provide economic support and care
  836. 28:57for the children and that's a long-term
  837. 28:59binding contract and it seems to me the
  838. 29:02obvious opposite in some sense of
  839. 29:04libertine freedom
  840. 29:06so where's the patriarchy in that
  841. 29:08precisely
  842. 29:10i mean women weren't equal in some sense
  843. 29:12but
  844. 29:13there are reasons for that
  845. 29:15i mean many people have made the
  846. 29:17argument that by loosening the norms
  847. 29:19around marriage it's actually been to
  848. 29:21the benefit of of men
  849. 29:23in some sense you know to be able to
  850. 29:25have lots of promiscuous partners with
  851. 29:28many different women and perhaps
  852. 29:31impregnate some of them and not have to
  853. 29:32stick around there's no obligation to
  854. 29:34them beyond maybe producing childhood
  855. 29:36that means that it's
  856. 29:38advantageous to psychopathic men
  857. 29:41right darker bad types well exactly
  858. 29:44because you know the hallmark of
  859. 29:46psychopathy is
  860. 29:47short-term advantage
  861. 29:49taken by a given individual without care
  862. 29:51for anyone else
  863. 29:52and it certainly seems to me like dating
  864. 29:55apps like tinder now i don't i don't
  865. 29:58want to call every male who's successful
  866. 30:00on tinder a psychopath i'm not saying
  867. 30:02that but i would say that it isn't
  868. 30:04obvious to me at all that
  869. 30:07if you're a successful polyamorous male
  870. 30:10on tinder and so that's going to be a
  871. 30:12very tiny subset of men
  872. 30:14that are hyper selected by women a tiny
  873. 30:16subset of men
  874. 30:18who who receive almost no rejection
  875. 30:22they're set up to learn to be
  876. 30:24psychopathic because
  877. 30:26all their
  878. 30:27interactions with other people can be
  879. 30:29devoted to short-term sexual
  880. 30:31gratification with no emotional intimacy
  881. 30:33or long-term
  882. 30:34commitment
  883. 30:35and that's a hell of a training ground
  884. 30:37as far as i'm concerned that's that i
  885. 30:39mean it depends on what you want for a
  886. 30:40society but
  887. 30:42as you said even the affluent women who
  888. 30:44profess
  889. 30:45a desire for polyamory which is complete
  890. 30:47bloody rubbish in my estimation and
  891. 30:49completely underestimates the economic
  892. 30:51consequences of sex they still dream of
  893. 30:55the fairy tale princess who meets the
  894. 30:57prince who you know wakes her up with a
  895. 30:59kiss and and they're married happily
  896. 31:01ever after so it's it's such bloody
  897. 31:03nonsense we allow our culture to be run
  898. 31:05by the pathetic fantasies of immature
  899. 31:07adolescent
  900. 31:10delusion fundamentally as far as i can
  901. 31:12tell
  902. 31:13there was a study i saw um
  903. 31:16i think it was last year on on this very
  904. 31:18question of of who uses dating apps and
  905. 31:20sort of their personality traits and so
  906. 31:22on and they did indeed find and these
  907. 31:24these were just university students
  908. 31:25which you know take it for what it's
  909. 31:27worth but the uh uh the people who are
  910. 31:30using the dating apps which is about
  911. 31:31one-third of the the students uh in in
  912. 31:33the sample pool the they were um sort of
  913. 31:37more likely to be interested in
  914. 31:39short-term sexual conquest not really
  915. 31:40surprised more uh more interested and
  916. 31:43more likely to use drugs and alcohol
  917. 31:45more likely to have sort of callous
  918. 31:48sexual attitudes i can't remember the
  919. 31:49exact term they used for this for this
  920. 31:51construct but basically they were more
  921. 31:53likely to agree with statements like sex
  922. 31:55is like a game where one person wins and
  923. 31:57the other person loses so if you're
  924. 31:59using a dating app you're more likely to
  925. 32:00say uh yes to that kind of question so
  926. 32:04in a way
  927. 32:05status element to that i mean there's
  928. 32:07the old trope of notches in the bed
  929. 32:09frame and
  930. 32:10among adolescent competitive adolescent
  931. 32:13males there's no reason
  932. 32:15there's every reason to be competitive
  933. 32:17about how much you can drink and how
  934. 32:18many people you can lure into bed i mean
  935. 32:21even if you don't necessarily believe
  936. 32:22that personally you know at a deep level
  937. 32:25and maybe you suffer for it emotionally
  938. 32:27to some degree even though you might
  939. 32:28obscure that from yourself it's
  940. 32:30certainly something to score points with
  941. 32:31with your peers
  942. 32:33and there's plenty of that kind of you
  943. 32:35know that competitive bantering
  944. 32:38in in adolescent especially adolescent
  945. 32:40male culture and i mean it's not
  946. 32:42surprising to some degree because
  947. 32:44adolescent males have to figure out how
  948. 32:46to
  949. 32:47navigate the sexual landscape and
  950. 32:48they're going to do that in all sorts of
  951. 32:50awkward and
  952. 32:52finely unproductive ways it's not an
  953. 32:54easy thing to bind or to regulate
  954. 32:56properly but
  955. 32:57i mean these technologies like tinder
  956. 33:00tinder is a transformative technology
  957. 33:03and it's radically underestimated in
  958. 33:04terms of its potency because
  959. 33:06it
  960. 33:07produces
  961. 33:08hyper-successful predatory males and
  962. 33:11reduces rejection it eliminates
  963. 33:13rejection because i mean you can be
  964. 33:15totally rejected in which case you're a
  965. 33:17failure on tinder but
  966. 33:19in normal
  967. 33:20pre-mating interaction let's say there's
  968. 33:23a high probability of rejection
  969. 33:24especially on the part of males
  970. 33:26and that text well there's actually
  971. 33:27research on this yes
  972. 33:29on tinder uh yes uh
  973. 33:32so there's there's research basically
  974. 33:33showing this so on tinder uh
  975. 33:35women are they they like you know swipe
  976. 33:38right they like the profiles of only
  977. 33:40four percent of the men that they see on
  978. 33:43the app whereas for for uh men when they
  979. 33:46see female profiles they swipe right or
  980. 33:48like uh more than sixty percent that six
  981. 33:51zero sixty percent of the profiles right
  982. 33:53so that's really worth concentrating on
  983. 33:55because that's a great example of
  984. 33:57hypergamy
  985. 33:59right so women mate across and up
  986. 34:04success hierarchies
  987. 34:06and men mate across and down
  988. 34:10right so and women like men who are
  989. 34:13about four years older
  990. 34:14cross-culturally
  991. 34:16they like men who manifest signs of
  992. 34:18success as well as being handsome and
  993. 34:21personable in all of that and the reason
  994. 34:23for that as far as i can tell is that
  995. 34:25they're looking to
  996. 34:27equalize
  997. 34:28the economic disparity that exists
  998. 34:30because women
  999. 34:32take a harder hit from sex and pregnancy
  1000. 34:34than men
  1001. 34:36so they're looking to equalize that and
  1002. 34:38no wonder they're looking for someone
  1003. 34:40who's competent
  1004. 34:41this is for long-term media who's
  1005. 34:43competent and generous
  1006. 34:45right you want both of those so
  1007. 34:46competence would be intelligence general
  1008. 34:49cognitive ability and the markers that
  1009. 34:50go along with that they want
  1010. 34:52conscientiousness or openness as well as
  1011. 34:54other desirable personality traits and
  1012. 34:56they want generosity honesty all of
  1013. 34:59those but so they're looking for someone
  1014. 35:00who can provide well it's not because
  1015. 35:02they're greedy precisely it's because
  1016. 35:04well they're going to put themselves in
  1017. 35:06a more vulnerable position if they have
  1018. 35:07a child and we know this because even
  1019. 35:10affluent women who have a child by
  1020. 35:11themselves or who get divorced tend to
  1021. 35:15drop down the socioeconomic hierarchy a
  1022. 35:17fair bit which is of course why alimony
  1023. 35:20payments and all of that are necessary
  1024. 35:22so this hypergamy means women are much
  1025. 35:24more selective in their mating than men
  1026. 35:26are and that's true cross-culturally and
  1027. 35:28it's not surprising because they pay a
  1028. 35:29bigger price for sex it's more dangerous
  1029. 35:31for women because they can get pregnant
  1030. 35:33and it might be more dangerous
  1031. 35:35emotionally as well and i believe that
  1032. 35:37would be a reflection of their higher
  1033. 35:38levels of agreeableness and higher
  1034. 35:40levels of negative emotionality so women
  1035. 35:42do put themselves at risk more and that
  1036. 35:44might be why there's such a
  1037. 35:46intense debate about what constitutes
  1038. 35:48can't consent on campuses despite these
  1039. 35:51beliefs in polyamory and all of these
  1040. 35:53things but so anyways on tinder as you
  1041. 35:55said women select four percent of the
  1042. 35:58men
  1043. 35:59yes so that means i would imagine that
  1044. 36:01four percent is very high up on what
  1045. 36:03you're calling into the success
  1046. 36:04hierarchy i have a friend a good looking
  1047. 36:07guy
  1048. 36:08uh he was very active on tinder for a
  1049. 36:11while and he accumulated more than
  1050. 36:13twenty thousand matches on the app
  1051. 36:15twenty thousand
  1052. 36:16twenty thousand and he was so successful
  1053. 36:19that tinder
  1054. 36:20uh pinpointed him early on and uh gave
  1055. 36:23him all kinds of free perks and bonuses
  1056. 36:25and lifted his radius restrictions gave
  1057. 36:27him the
  1058. 36:29the tinder gold app or whatever version
  1059. 36:30of it basically trying to
  1060. 36:32continue to use the app
  1061. 36:34yeah
  1062. 36:35they wanted to entice him this is so
  1063. 36:37amazing they never want you to leave
  1064. 36:38these are unbelievably pernicious and
  1065. 36:41vicious broad-scale social experiments
  1066. 36:43that are far more potent than anything
  1067. 36:45like government policy
  1068. 36:47you know i mean
  1069. 36:49he's in genghis khan territory
  1070. 36:52with 20 000. i don't know i mean it's
  1071. 36:54really
  1072. 36:55twenty thousand yeah well my suspicions
  1073. 36:57are he tried
  1074. 37:00and i i know he'll get a kick out of
  1075. 37:01that that records for for like me
  1076. 37:04athletes for example and movie stars
  1077. 37:06there's some of the men have reportedly
  1078. 37:09slept with thousands of women yes wilt
  1079. 37:11chamberlain and
  1080. 37:12um there's others who who are in the
  1081. 37:14same category but they're people they're
  1082. 37:16men who have women throwing themselves
  1083. 37:17at them all the time lining up for them
  1084. 37:20and and i've read biographies of people
  1085. 37:22who had that sort of thing happen as
  1086. 37:23well but that's not the typical male
  1087. 37:25experience i know the typical male
  1088. 37:27experience is all rejection
  1089. 37:29exactly right they might get a couple
  1090. 37:30matches a week
  1091. 37:32right right so while so you see what's
  1092. 37:34happening is that tinder is one of the
  1093. 37:37forces that's transforming monogamy into
  1094. 37:39polygamy and the problem with polygamy
  1095. 37:42is that it it follows a pareto
  1096. 37:44distribution like the distribution of
  1097. 37:46wealth is that some tiny minority of men
  1098. 37:49get all the sexual opportunity and all
  1099. 37:52the rest get virtually none and that is
  1100. 37:54a recipe for for social instability i
  1101. 37:57mean that that sort of deregulation
  1102. 38:00of romantic relationships you know
  1103. 38:02whereas in the past it was expected for
  1104. 38:04you to have one partner and over time
  1105. 38:05settle down whereas now it's
  1106. 38:07a total free-for-all i mean there are
  1107. 38:10aspects to this that a lot of people
  1108. 38:11don't think about i mean i talk to young
  1109. 38:12people so i have younger friends who who
  1110. 38:14i talk to who are sort of very active on
  1111. 38:16on the apps and then sort of the dating
  1112. 38:18scene and they'll tell me things like
  1113. 38:20it's it's even easier to cheat so in the
  1114. 38:22past if you wanted to be unfaithful to
  1115. 38:24your partner it was risky because you
  1116. 38:26know essentially like you you had the
  1117. 38:28same social circle you had the same
  1118. 38:30friends everyone knew everyone else but
  1119. 38:31now with the apps you can match with
  1120. 38:33someone who is completely outside of
  1121. 38:35your social reality outside of your
  1122. 38:37partner's social reality you can have a
  1123. 38:38very discreet rendezvous no one will
  1124. 38:41ever know about this
  1125. 38:42um ghosting has become more common i
  1126. 38:44don't know if you about ghosting but
  1127. 38:45it's basically where you're in a
  1128. 38:47relationship with someone
  1129. 38:48um and after you have sex you know once
  1130. 38:51or however many times then you just
  1131. 38:53vanish you never see that person again
  1132. 38:56uh delete you know delete them from your
  1133. 38:58phone block them on social media you
  1134. 38:59never have to see them again and there's
  1135. 39:01no social cost to this that's a real
  1136. 39:03psychopathic conquest strategy yes
  1137. 39:06right yeah because the psychopaths they
  1138. 39:08tend to form relationships that are very
  1139. 39:10um predatory and then disappear
  1140. 39:14because that way their reputations stay
  1141. 39:16intact as long as they can continue to
  1142. 39:18disappear
  1143. 39:19but i'm interested in what you had said
  1144. 39:20before about whether this is actually
  1145. 39:22sort of cultivating psychopathy in young
  1146. 39:25people and young men where you know in
  1147. 39:27the in the past you know typically a
  1148. 39:28psychopath would do that on their own
  1149. 39:30but now with the apps and the technology
  1150. 39:33removing all of the friction from
  1151. 39:35you know breaking up with someone or
  1152. 39:37having to communicate with someone that
  1153. 39:38you no longer want to see them
  1154. 39:40i think a lot of people who who ghost
  1155. 39:42others they're not even thinking in
  1156. 39:44those terms they're not thinking i want
  1157. 39:45to maliciously hurt this person or i
  1158. 39:47don't care about this person it's just
  1159. 39:49it's like it's easy you know you press a
  1160. 39:50few buttons on your smartphone and you
  1161. 39:52can move on to the next conquest
  1162. 39:54um and i think a lot of people wouldn't
  1163. 39:56act that way otherwise well the question
  1164. 39:58would be what happens to you after you
  1165. 40:00do that four or five times you know
  1166. 40:02let's say you're not particularly
  1167. 40:03psychopathic to begin with it's like you
  1168. 40:06you you learn what you practice
  1169. 40:08and i would say look if if you're using
  1170. 40:11people continually as a means to an end
  1171. 40:13and i think sex is probably the most
  1172. 40:15effective way of doing that
  1173. 40:18then
  1174. 40:18you're establishing a pattern of
  1175. 40:20interaction between you and other people
  1176. 40:22at perhaps the deepest possible level
  1177. 40:26and so if you do that repeatedly
  1178. 40:28first of all you're not you're certainly
  1179. 40:30not engaging in anything that might be
  1180. 40:31regarded as a as a meaningful or deep
  1181. 40:34relationship
  1182. 40:35quite the contrary you regard that as
  1183. 40:38excess baggage that's an impediment to
  1184. 40:40your next conquest so to speak
  1185. 40:43so
  1186. 40:44how would that not
  1187. 40:46i mean it'd be now you said there was
  1188. 40:48research on tinder has there been
  1189. 40:49research on the relationship between the
  1190. 40:51dark triad and these hyper successful
  1191. 40:53men
  1192. 40:56well i've seen research on dark triad
  1193. 40:58and tinder use and you know people who
  1194. 41:00are high on dark triad do tend to be
  1195. 41:01more successful accumulate more partners
  1196. 41:05uh specifically whether you know this is
  1197. 41:07related to gender and whether men are
  1198. 41:09more successful or or more likely to to
  1199. 41:11hurt others using these apps i haven't
  1200. 41:13seen anything on that i have
  1201. 41:15interestingly seen
  1202. 41:17um i think this was from pew
  1203. 41:20where they
  1204. 41:21broke down the data by
  1205. 41:23education level
  1206. 41:25and they asked people questions like
  1207. 41:27have you ever been harassed on this
  1208. 41:28dating app have you ever met someone on
  1209. 41:30a dating app who inflicted physical harm
  1210. 41:32on you
  1211. 41:33basically the wide variety of negative
  1212. 41:35experiences through using dating apps
  1213. 41:37and they found that people who are not
  1214. 41:39college graduates were far more likely
  1215. 41:41the women were far more likely to report
  1216. 41:43negative experiences on the dating apps
  1217. 41:45compared to
  1218. 41:46college educated women and to me this is
  1219. 41:49also indicative of this you know this
  1220. 41:50sort of social class divide
  1221. 41:52um another manifestation of the luxury
  1222. 41:54belief of sexual promiscuity where you
  1223. 41:57know you introduce these dating apps you
  1224. 41:59have no idea what's going to happen or
  1225. 42:00how this is going to warp society and
  1226. 42:03how people are going to interact in
  1227. 42:04romantic relationships and it's
  1228. 42:07disproportionately harming
  1229. 42:09uh lower educated lower income women who
  1230. 42:12are like you're saying they're probably
  1231. 42:13more likely to meet psychopaths they're
  1232. 42:15probably perhaps less adept in some ways
  1233. 42:18at screening for certain kinds of guys
  1234. 42:20the other thing is
  1235. 42:24because
  1236. 42:26well they're a lot more they're a lot
  1237. 42:28easier to prey upon i mean their
  1238. 42:30straights are a lot more desperate and
  1239. 42:32they've knocked themselves out of the
  1240. 42:33single girl dating market and lowered
  1241. 42:36their market value so to speak i hate to
  1242. 42:38speak of it in terms like that but it's
  1243. 42:40clearly the case because to initiate a
  1244. 42:43relationship with a woman who has a
  1245. 42:45child already is to initiate a
  1246. 42:47relationship that has a lot higher up
  1247. 42:48front cost the complexity of negotiating
  1248. 42:51the relationship with the child the
  1249. 42:52additional responsibility that has to be
  1250. 42:54taken on instantly and none of that's
  1251. 42:57the least bit trivial
  1252. 42:59so
  1253. 42:59so
  1254. 43:00so that means and we know that in
  1255. 43:02general if you
  1256. 43:04do a triangular imagine triangular
  1257. 43:06representation of a social hierarchy on
  1258. 43:09any valued dimension
  1259. 43:10the people who are at the lowest level
  1260. 43:12are those who are most susceptible to
  1261. 43:14any sort of uh destructive tendency that
  1262. 43:17comes whistling through they don't have
  1263. 43:19as much social support they're a lot
  1264. 43:21closer to abject poverty they don't have
  1265. 43:24the the broad social network or the
  1266. 43:26opportunities um so everything affects
  1267. 43:29them disproportionately including
  1268. 43:31epidemic illnesses and it's the case
  1269. 43:33throughout the
  1270. 43:34kingdom of life that low status
  1271. 43:37confers
  1272. 43:38vulnerability that's why people go for
  1273. 43:41higher status at least in part yeah so
  1274. 43:43right that the tinder
  1275. 43:45i mean
  1276. 43:48i don't know how widespread tinder use
  1277. 43:50is i don't know that much about tinder
  1278. 43:51but when i first found out about it i
  1279. 43:53thought this is a technology that while
  1280. 43:55they certainly named it properly because
  1281. 43:57tinder starts fires and it's a fire
  1282. 44:00starter and not just sexually and
  1283. 44:02something like 40 last i saw something
  1284. 44:05like 40 percent of people under 30 are
  1285. 44:07using the apps i would imagine it's
  1286. 44:09probably higher now
  1287. 44:10especially in the wake of covet so the
  1288. 44:12data that i saw when we collected i
  1289. 44:14think in 2019 but after covid and the
  1290. 44:16pandemic and the lockdowns
  1291. 44:18um there's no other way to meet people
  1292. 44:19so i'd imagine a lot more people
  1293. 44:21download those apps and we'll see if
  1294. 44:23they wean themselves off or if they're
  1295. 44:24hooked i mean these tech companies use
  1296. 44:26very
  1297. 44:28manipulative
  1298. 44:30strategies i talked to an executive i
  1299. 44:31won't say which dating app this was but
  1300. 44:34he told me that some dating apps
  1301. 44:37some dating apps will um basically what
  1302. 44:40they call i think they're called seating
  1303. 44:42where they'll put fake profiles of very
  1304. 44:44attractive usually women right because
  1305. 44:46men are are actually more likely to use
  1306. 44:47dating apps and they're sort of more
  1307. 44:50likely to pay for the premium profiles
  1308. 44:53compared to women who don't have to
  1309. 44:54because they're going to get matches
  1310. 44:55anyway um
  1311. 44:57so anyway the the dating app companies
  1312. 45:00they'll see them with fake attractive
  1313. 45:02women profiles and
  1314. 45:05intentionally match with men who have
  1315. 45:07recently downloaded a new profile who
  1316. 45:08basically newly created one and the idea
  1317. 45:10here is that if they if they download
  1318. 45:12the app and they immediately match with
  1319. 45:14an attractive woman uh and then they
  1320. 45:16usually have a couple of conversational
  1321. 45:18exchanges like hey how's it going good
  1322. 45:20how are you and then that's it the uh
  1323. 45:23the robot no longer responds to the user
  1324. 45:26but the reason why this is done is
  1325. 45:28basically to give them a little hit
  1326. 45:30right it gives them it's like
  1327. 45:35it's a major hit yeah yeah and so
  1328. 45:37basically they called it chasing the
  1329. 45:39dragon which is basically a term from
  1330. 45:41from from drug usage right from heroin
  1331. 45:43you give them a little hit and then
  1332. 45:44they're going to be chasing that high
  1333. 45:45for the rest of their lives so
  1334. 45:47you know i think that
  1335. 45:49there's so many complexities to this it
  1336. 45:51yeah it is and and
  1337. 45:53yeah they are uh creating
  1338. 45:57a lot of i think a lot of heartbreak and
  1339. 45:59a lot of frustration
  1340. 46:02over that
  1341. 46:05wow
  1342. 46:07if if you're interacting with someone
  1343. 46:09fake i mean that could be tailored to
  1344. 46:11your desire
  1345. 46:13be people i'd have all you'd have to do
  1346. 46:15is look at the pictures that someone was
  1347. 46:17looking at and produce a composite
  1348. 46:19that's a that's an amalgam of those
  1349. 46:21attractive
  1350. 46:23women let's say and
  1351. 46:24mean that the possibility for
  1352. 46:26manipulation is almost infinite and
  1353. 46:28you won't say which dating app that's
  1354. 46:30too bad because they deserve the
  1355. 46:32exposure but you know i i understand
  1356. 46:34your reticence that's really
  1357. 46:35unbelievably appalling and malevolent
  1358. 46:38well i will say that if if one app is
  1359. 46:41doing it then that means
  1360. 46:42more than likely they all are so it
  1361. 46:44almost doesn't even matter uh they're
  1362. 46:45probably all doing some version of that
  1363. 46:47because that's how they get users
  1364. 46:49right yeah well it's not that clever an
  1365. 46:51idea you know it's it's a pretty obvious
  1366. 46:53idea in a very crooked and horrible sort
  1367. 46:56of way
  1368. 46:57so
  1369. 46:57it's not like it would take a genius to
  1370. 46:59think it up
  1371. 47:01yeah
  1372. 47:02yeah and so so this idea of oh and i
  1373. 47:05wanted to go back so so this idea of um
  1374. 47:07differently educated women different
  1375. 47:10social classes having different
  1376. 47:11experiences on the dating apps well
  1377. 47:12they're also having entirely different
  1378. 47:14experiences in in the real world too in
  1379. 47:16terms of their dating and romantic
  1380. 47:18relationships after the erosion of
  1381. 47:20marriage
  1382. 47:21after the um sort of deteriorating
  1383. 47:24norms around
  1384. 47:26dating and romance
  1385. 47:27if you know i i talked to some people
  1386. 47:30from my hometown for example
  1387. 47:32and i think about you know the kinds of
  1388. 47:34guys who stayed behind who didn't go off
  1389. 47:35to college who didn't join the military
  1390. 47:37who just sort of languished and hung
  1391. 47:39around there
  1392. 47:40these are not you know just to put it
  1393. 47:42bluntly these are not uh it's not prince
  1394. 47:44charming
  1395. 47:45and so when women are dating these men
  1396. 47:48and there's no social norms no no forces
  1397. 47:51constraining them many of them act very
  1398. 47:53poorly
  1399. 47:54um you know a lot of alcoholism a lot of
  1400. 47:56drug use uh you know verbal and
  1401. 47:59sometimes physical abuse emotional abuse
  1402. 48:02um a lot of these guys who sort of are
  1403. 48:04not not so educated
  1404. 48:06don't have a lot of money not a lot of
  1405. 48:08life prospects when they get involved
  1406. 48:10with a woman they don't necessarily
  1407. 48:11treat her very well whereas you know in
  1408. 48:13the past i think that there were
  1409. 48:15stronger norms around how you're
  1410. 48:16supposed to treat the opposite sex and
  1411. 48:18how you're supposed to interact with
  1412. 48:19them date them what's expected of you
  1413. 48:21and so on i think with the
  1414. 48:23um sort of dissolution of expectations
  1415. 48:26has come a lot more
  1416. 48:27trouble for lower income young women
  1417. 48:31yeah hypothetically the ones that the
  1418. 48:33progressives are trying to do something
  1419. 48:35for
  1420. 48:37are removing this constraints of
  1421. 48:38patriarchal relationships for example
  1422. 48:40the question always is what flows in
  1423. 48:42when you remove the dikes right i mean
  1424. 48:45that's another problem i suppose in some
  1425. 48:47sense that's analogous to the
  1426. 48:49the protection of of social classes
  1427. 48:52many of these institutions that are so
  1428. 48:54casually criticized
  1429. 48:57we don't know what forces shaped them so
  1430. 49:00you know i've been pilloried in the
  1431. 49:02press repeatedly for pointing out that
  1432. 49:04um
  1433. 49:06normative monogamy
  1434. 49:08controls male aggression
  1435. 49:11now that it's amazing to me that i've
  1436. 49:13been slashed to ribbons for making that
  1437. 49:15case because i thought that was like
  1438. 49:17anthropology 101.
  1439. 49:20so you know there's two things that
  1440. 49:22every society needs to control and one
  1441. 49:24is female fecundity because of its high
  1442. 49:26cost and the other is male aggression
  1443. 49:28it's like well i thought everyone knew
  1444. 49:30that if they were even moderately
  1445. 49:31educated and well how do you control
  1446. 49:33that regulate it for everyone's interest
  1447. 49:36particularly for the interest of
  1448. 49:38children the answer seems to be the
  1449. 49:40imposition of monogamous norms
  1450. 49:42now people object well are people truly
  1451. 49:44monogamous and the answer is not if you
  1452. 49:47set up the environment to differentially
  1453. 49:49award hyper-successful polyamorous males
  1454. 49:53which is exactly what gender does and
  1455. 49:54there are societies where that's the
  1456. 49:56case where one man has a thousand wives
  1457. 49:59so to speak and 999 men have none
  1458. 50:03but those aren't societies that are
  1459. 50:05stable and those young men who have
  1460. 50:07nothing to do
  1461. 50:09find things to do
  1462. 50:11and they aren't necessarily the sorts of
  1463. 50:12things that you want them to be doing
  1464. 50:15because what the hell do they have to
  1465. 50:16lose
  1466. 50:17fundamentally
  1467. 50:19and it's not a good idea to
  1468. 50:21generate a society full of young men who
  1469. 50:23have very little to lose
  1470. 50:25so
  1471. 50:27i
  1472. 50:29and it is an appalling thing that the
  1473. 50:32privileged classes
  1474. 50:34are more likely to disparage marriage
  1475. 50:37let's say
  1476. 50:38and these ideas
  1477. 50:40trickle down over time they sort of
  1478. 50:42permeate throughout society because
  1479. 50:44elites affluent educated people wheel
  1480. 50:46disproportionate influence uh whether
  1481. 50:49it's through media pop culture fashion
  1482. 50:52do you know here's something cool yeah
  1483. 50:54so do you know that names
  1484. 50:56drift down the social hierarchy
  1485. 51:00huh
  1486. 51:01well so well so
  1487. 51:03uh
  1488. 51:04influential upper class people will
  1489. 51:06produce a name for their child
  1490. 51:09and then that name is gets popularized
  1491. 51:12all the way down the social hierarchy
  1492. 51:13until it becomes passe
  1493. 51:15and so and becomes more and more common
  1494. 51:17as it drifts down so this influence that
  1495. 51:20you're describing you can measure it
  1496. 51:22everywhere they're the fashion leaders
  1497. 51:23they're on the cutting edge and everyone
  1498. 51:25imitates
  1499. 51:26and so
  1500. 51:27yes
  1501. 51:28and i think that
  1502. 51:29so so you know of course like actual
  1503. 51:31fashion clothing of course the sort of
  1504. 51:33trendsetters and then it trickles down
  1505. 51:35to everyone else i i didn't i didn't
  1506. 51:37know this about names which is really
  1507. 51:38interesting but i think it it is also
  1508. 51:40for sort of
  1509. 51:42moral beliefs as well one idea that i've
  1510. 51:44sort of been playing with maybe this is
  1511. 51:46you know a little bit dangerous for me
  1512. 51:48to say but i've been thinking about this
  1513. 51:50you know who was championing
  1514. 51:52um
  1515. 51:53sort of
  1516. 51:53color blindness integration this idea
  1517. 51:57that you know we should treat everyone
  1518. 51:58on their merits and so on i mean
  1519. 52:01whatever 50 or 60 years ago this was a
  1520. 52:03very progressive idea and it was mostly
  1521. 52:05championed by highly educated people
  1522. 52:07more affluent people they also tended to
  1523. 52:09leave the abolitionist movement in the
  1524. 52:11u.s and so on
  1525. 52:12but more recently
  1526. 52:14uh things have changed so my idea here
  1527. 52:17is that in the past the elites had this
  1528. 52:19idea of color blindness over time that
  1529. 52:22idea trickled throughout society
  1530. 52:24such as such that now today if you talk
  1531. 52:27to a typical middle class or working
  1532. 52:28class
  1533. 52:29western person they do tend to basically
  1534. 52:31believe in color blindness um their
  1535. 52:34racial attitudes are basically like who
  1536. 52:36cares um
  1537. 52:38and it's not it's not an important thing
  1538. 52:40in their lives
  1539. 52:41and so now that the elites have spread
  1540. 52:44this belief how do they once again
  1541. 52:46distinguish themselves from the hoi
  1542. 52:48polloi
  1543. 52:49from those middle and working class
  1544. 52:50people they once again have to make race
  1545. 52:52an important feature of our social
  1546. 52:55reality um
  1547. 52:57so now i have to comment about your
  1548. 52:59theories there for a sec if you don't
  1549. 53:00mind
  1550. 53:04when
  1551. 53:05francis galton
  1552. 53:06150 years ago started studying
  1553. 53:10he thought about it as
  1554. 53:13excellence something like that i mean
  1555. 53:15some of the iq research came out of that
  1556. 53:17he started to measure people on a whole
  1557. 53:19variety of different dimensions but his
  1558. 53:21conception of of excellence of
  1559. 53:24superiority let's say
  1560. 53:25wasn't so much cognitive capacity
  1561. 53:29the more differentiated sorts of things
  1562. 53:31that we might measure today and
  1563. 53:32associate with some degree of value
  1564. 53:34conscientiousness creativity
  1565. 53:36intelligence galton who is an english
  1566. 53:38aristocrat which is the reason i'm
  1567. 53:40bringing this up
  1568. 53:41was at the forefront of that movement
  1569. 53:43and he believed like most english
  1570. 53:45aristocrats of his time that
  1571. 53:47england was a superior culture and that
  1572. 53:49english aristocrats were the hallmark of
  1573. 53:52english superiority right and so but
  1574. 53:54that superiority
  1575. 53:56was fundamentally i would say moral
  1576. 54:00that the superiority that was being
  1577. 54:02searched for wasn't economic exactly
  1578. 54:05that the economic superiority was an
  1579. 54:08indicator of the moral superiority
  1580. 54:11and so and that would be associated yes
  1581. 54:14yes so that would be associated with
  1582. 54:15something like moral purity
  1583. 54:18and and and associated with disgust now
  1584. 54:21george orwell talked about
  1585. 54:23because he was from
  1586. 54:25relatively higher social status i think
  1587. 54:27he was upper middle class but he said he
  1588. 54:29had a visceral distaste of the working
  1589. 54:32class
  1590. 54:34and he had to overcome that and he did
  1591. 54:36he worked in restaurants and he worked
  1592. 54:37in all sorts of jobs he went to war i
  1593. 54:39mean orwell strove to overcome that
  1594. 54:42visceral disgust
  1595. 54:44and disgust is the opposite of disgust
  1596. 54:46is purity and that's associated with a
  1597. 54:48kind of moral superiority and so one of
  1598. 54:51the things that your idea one of the
  1599. 54:53ideas that your concept brings up is the
  1600. 54:56notion that the central axis of social
  1601. 54:59hierarchy is something like assumed
  1602. 55:01moral superiority and everything else is
  1603. 55:03a marker of that including economic
  1604. 55:05wealth you know i have this economic
  1605. 55:07wealth because i deserve it that's an
  1606. 55:09indicator that i'm superior morally
  1607. 55:12and that would go along with the idea of
  1608. 55:14i think that would go along with the
  1609. 55:15idea of luxury belief
  1610. 55:17you need to distinguish yourself from
  1611. 55:19the contaminated lower classes
  1612. 55:21constantly
  1613. 55:22and there were reasons which is i think
  1614. 55:24with the past
  1615. 55:26you think that is what's going on
  1616. 55:29i do i think that that that drives in
  1617. 55:31large part the motivation to uh to
  1618. 55:34broadcast these beliefs is to
  1619. 55:37basically tell the world i'm not one of
  1620. 55:39the you know the the hoi polloi one of
  1621. 55:41the little people unwashed masses the
  1622. 55:43unwashed mashes and and so they're
  1623. 55:46they're telling us you know to society
  1624. 55:47at large and and in particular they're
  1625. 55:49telling their peers you know don't
  1626. 55:51mistake me for one of those people there
  1627. 55:53and so this is sort of what i'm getting
  1628. 55:55at with this idea that you know now that
  1629. 55:57now that the masses believe that race
  1630. 55:59should no longer be treated as a big
  1631. 56:01deal in society
  1632. 56:02if you're a member of the elite if you
  1633. 56:04say that you're you may be at risk of
  1634. 56:08being mistaken
  1635. 56:09for one of the masses and so now you
  1636. 56:11have to sort of reintroduce the
  1637. 56:12importance of race and ethnicity and so
  1638. 56:14on
  1639. 56:15and say that we you know you don't want
  1640. 56:18to be colorblind you want to sort of
  1641. 56:20highlight our differences and and so on
  1642. 56:22but this here is a luxury belief because
  1643. 56:26you know
  1644. 56:27you may be able to
  1645. 56:29sort of promote this sort of
  1646. 56:31racial divisions among highly educated
  1647. 56:33highly affluent people
  1648. 56:35and in all likelihood it's probably not
  1649. 56:36going to hurt you very much but if that
  1650. 56:38belief is reintroduced into society
  1651. 56:41where we should once again pay very
  1652. 56:42close attention to what skin color we
  1653. 56:45are or what race we are
  1654. 56:46that could create a lot of problems for
  1655. 56:49ordinary people well i think it is the
  1656. 56:51world problems already because well
  1657. 56:53because
  1658. 56:54look i think
  1659. 56:55one of the factors and i'm certainly not
  1660. 56:58alone in this although maybe i can
  1661. 56:59differentiate it a bit better
  1662. 57:01i think a big part of the reason that
  1663. 57:03trump was so attractive i saw this hat
  1664. 57:06in florida i've told this story before
  1665. 57:10it said trump 2021
  1666. 57:13trump 2020 yeah because [ __ ] you twice
  1667. 57:17and i thought yeah that's exactly right
  1668. 57:19it's because there's this perception on
  1669. 57:21the part of the working class perhaps
  1670. 57:24particularly among working-class males
  1671. 57:26and maybe even more particularly
  1672. 57:28among working-class white males
  1673. 57:31that the progressive types that
  1674. 57:32hypothetically stand for the oppressed
  1675. 57:34have nothing but contempt for them
  1676. 57:37and the attraction to trump was
  1677. 57:39yeah well here have some of this
  1678. 57:43i feel that um every once in a while
  1679. 57:45i'll go back to my to my hometown red
  1680. 57:47bluff california yeah and i'll talk to
  1681. 57:50people
  1682. 57:51and i can feel this you know like i'll
  1683. 57:53tell them i grew up here i'm you know
  1684. 57:54i'm sort of this is my hometown
  1685. 57:56and whenever it comes up so what do you
  1686. 57:58end up doing uh i'm honest and i say you
  1687. 58:01know i ended up going to yale or
  1688. 58:03cambridge or whatever but i i'm i'm
  1689. 58:05always very quick to follow it up with
  1690. 58:07but but i i enlisted in the military
  1691. 58:09this is sort of my protection of like i
  1692. 58:11was in the military before i did all
  1693. 58:12this other stuff because i can sense
  1694. 58:14like when i say go to yale there's this
  1695. 58:15sort of moment of awkward silence and i
  1696. 58:18can tell they're sort of updating their
  1697. 58:19view of me and probably not in a good
  1698. 58:21direction either
  1699. 58:23uh and so then when i follow it up with
  1700. 58:25but i enlisted and then sort of things
  1701. 58:26calm back down i had this experience a
  1702. 58:29couple years ago in a casino playing
  1703. 58:31cards uh in corning which is an even
  1704. 58:33more poor and small town in northern
  1705. 58:35california
  1706. 58:36uh and my sister had you know let it
  1707. 58:39slip to the dealer that i was a student
  1708. 58:41at yale and the dealer looked at me for
  1709. 58:42a second he's like what are you even
  1710. 58:44doing in here you know in the sense that
  1711. 58:46like number one why would you be
  1712. 58:48gambling in here if you go to a school
  1713. 58:49like that and then number two like it
  1714. 58:51sort of sounded like i'm not really sure
  1715. 58:53i want you to be in here
  1716. 58:54and i told him like you know hey i serve
  1717. 58:57in the military i just want to play some
  1718. 58:58cards let's you know let's just have a
  1719. 59:00good time and and he sort of let his
  1720. 59:02guard down at that point but i think
  1721. 59:04there is this um feeling among more
  1722. 59:07blue-collar working-class people that
  1723. 59:10you know the elites over there are they
  1724. 59:12look down on us they
  1725. 59:14view us in a certain way
  1726. 59:15they treat us like we're stupid or
  1727. 59:18backwards
  1728. 59:19or evil or racist or whatever
  1729. 59:21and really it's i mean it's just not
  1730. 59:24true um
  1731. 59:25that kind of disdain also just sort of
  1732. 59:27amplifies the divisions
  1733. 59:29and
  1734. 59:30that is something that i'm also trying
  1735. 59:31to highlight to elites as well i think
  1736. 59:33that there's been a lot of emphasis in
  1737. 59:35psychology
  1738. 59:38on the role of fear in promoting belief
  1739. 59:42but i think that
  1740. 59:44disdain contempt and disgust have been
  1741. 59:48under appreciated as
  1742. 59:51separating motivational
  1743. 59:54factors
  1744. 59:55yes
  1745. 59:56and
  1746. 59:58it's one thing if someone's afraid of
  1747. 1:00:00you
  1748. 1:00:01that's not exactly offensive
  1749. 1:00:05i mean you might regard it as
  1750. 1:00:06unfortunate but there's also a kind of
  1751. 1:00:11implicit
  1752. 1:00:12respect a little bit of dominance
  1753. 1:00:14exactly exactly
  1754. 1:00:16but if they're disgusted by you or
  1755. 1:00:18disdainful of you
  1756. 1:00:20that means that you're in the
  1757. 1:00:22contemptible
  1758. 1:00:24and rotting category essentially
  1759. 1:00:26and that's a lot bigger dagger aimed at
  1760. 1:00:29your heart than
  1761. 1:00:31than fear i mean would you rather be
  1762. 1:00:34shied away from or sneered at
  1763. 1:00:38right
  1764. 1:00:39right yeah right yeah yeah
  1765. 1:00:40i think this is this is part of what's
  1766. 1:00:42uh what's driving these these sort of
  1767. 1:00:44class divisions
  1768. 1:00:46um
  1769. 1:00:47that that the sort of working class and
  1770. 1:00:49lower class they feel this they feel
  1771. 1:00:51that there's this disdain for them on
  1772. 1:00:53the part of the upper class and this is
  1773. 1:00:54part of what i'm trying to highlight too
  1774. 1:00:55with this idea is to to basically say
  1775. 1:00:58that like there are these divisions
  1776. 1:01:00social class exists in america and this
  1777. 1:01:02is something that we need to be thinking
  1778. 1:01:03about whenever we broadcast these silly
  1779. 1:01:05beliefs that no one believes in and uh
  1780. 1:01:08what blows my mind is that you know the
  1781. 1:01:09data are freely available you can see
  1782. 1:01:11what
  1783. 1:01:12the majority of americans believe about
  1784. 1:01:14the police or voter id laws or drugs or
  1785. 1:01:17what have you
  1786. 1:01:18uh
  1787. 1:01:19and
  1788. 1:01:20the affluent just don't care very much
  1789. 1:01:22they're still going to broadcast their
  1790. 1:01:24very silly beliefs
  1791. 1:01:26um
  1792. 1:01:27i guess well it could even be
  1793. 1:01:29to take your hypothesis perhaps a step
  1794. 1:01:31further but perhaps you've already
  1795. 1:01:33thought this
  1796. 1:01:34up
  1797. 1:01:37it's a real marker of my status that i
  1798. 1:01:39can afford insane beliefs
  1799. 1:01:42look look how crazy i can be and still
  1800. 1:01:44survive
  1801. 1:01:46well it's yes is it
  1802. 1:01:48right exactly it's completely
  1803. 1:01:49significant
  1804. 1:01:50exactly it's exactly that it's that it's
  1805. 1:01:52like a peacock's tail i can laden myself
  1806. 1:01:55down with this palpable absurdity it has
  1807. 1:01:58no material effect whatsoever on my
  1808. 1:02:00continued existence
  1809. 1:02:03so the peacock is dragging around this
  1810. 1:02:04very heavy colorful set of tail feathers
  1811. 1:02:07and can still survive and
  1812. 1:02:09the sort of highly educated affluent
  1813. 1:02:10members of the side can drag around
  1814. 1:02:12these very expensive costly luxury
  1815. 1:02:14beliefs that clearly have no
  1816. 1:02:16correspondence to reality
  1817. 1:02:17and they can still survive well and they
  1818. 1:02:20have some correspondence to reality for
  1819. 1:02:22them because they can afford to
  1820. 1:02:23experiment with the beliefs without
  1821. 1:02:25immediately perishing
  1822. 1:02:27or without you know fatally compromising
  1823. 1:02:30their lives in most cases not all but in
  1824. 1:02:32most cases whereas if you're
  1825. 1:02:34farther down the chain and have less
  1826. 1:02:36protection you toy around with polyamory
  1827. 1:02:38and you end up as a single mother when
  1828. 1:02:40you're 18. that's the end of that
  1829. 1:02:43and so then you have the rest of your
  1830. 1:02:44life to think about well perhaps that
  1831. 1:02:46wasn't very wise but you know it's a
  1832. 1:02:48little late then
  1833. 1:02:50yeah well you can believe whatever you
  1834. 1:02:52want if you are a graduate of a top
  1835. 1:02:54university and you are economically
  1836. 1:02:57comfortable you can have whatever set of
  1837. 1:02:59beliefs you want
  1838. 1:03:00and in all likelihood you'll be just
  1839. 1:03:02fine
  1840. 1:03:03but
  1841. 1:03:04you know i i want to underline that
  1842. 1:03:07because you are the you know you are the
  1843. 1:03:10most sort of sealed from the
  1844. 1:03:12consequences of your beliefs you
  1845. 1:03:13actually
  1846. 1:03:14and at the same time you wield the most
  1847. 1:03:15influence in society it's very important
  1848. 1:03:18to understand if you have a belief and
  1849. 1:03:20you're trying to implement it into
  1850. 1:03:22policy or to uh sort of erode or create
  1851. 1:03:25new norms or whatever
  1852. 1:03:26just be very careful with what it is
  1853. 1:03:28that you're doing um you know you can
  1854. 1:03:30treat it as a game and gain status but
  1855. 1:03:32in the longer term this is going to hurt
  1856. 1:03:34um you know it's going to hurt a lot of
  1857. 1:03:36people it's going to hurt the very
  1858. 1:03:37people that supposedly we care the most
  1859. 1:03:38about
  1860. 1:03:40so what have been
  1861. 1:03:42the consequences for you of
  1862. 1:03:44being known for
  1863. 1:03:46this kind of theory you're a student at
  1864. 1:03:48cambridge you're in psychology
  1865. 1:03:51um you were an undergraduate at yale i
  1866. 1:03:53believe you were an undergraduate yale
  1867. 1:03:55were you an undergraduate when you wrote
  1868. 1:03:58your essay on luxury beliefs
  1869. 1:04:01no that was um during my first year here
  1870. 1:04:03at cambridge uh in 2019
  1871. 1:04:06um
  1872. 1:04:07you know it's been
  1873. 1:04:09it's been an interesting experience i
  1874. 1:04:10was a little bit nervous when i first
  1875. 1:04:12wrote it simply because of the way
  1876. 1:04:14things are going in universities i had a
  1877. 1:04:16very
  1878. 1:04:17um
  1879. 1:04:18sort of turbulent introduction
  1880. 1:04:20to
  1881. 1:04:21university life to campus life when i
  1882. 1:04:23first entered undergrad so this was in
  1883. 1:04:26the fall of 2015. it's kind of funny so
  1884. 1:04:29in 2015 so i had just gotten out of the
  1885. 1:04:31military in august i started class in
  1886. 1:04:33september and a couple weeks later um i
  1887. 1:04:36saw that jonathan height was giving a
  1888. 1:04:38talk on campus and i had just read his
  1889. 1:04:41book the righteous mind about moral
  1890. 1:04:43psychology which is an interest of mine
  1891. 1:04:45and i thought that that's what his talk
  1892. 1:04:46was going to be about but the entire
  1893. 1:04:48talk was basically about you know our
  1894. 1:04:50university is meant to
  1895. 1:04:52equip students with the ability to seek
  1896. 1:04:54truth or is it meant to keep them safe
  1897. 1:04:56and protect them and shelter them and so
  1898. 1:04:58on i went to this talk totally confused
  1899. 1:05:01because that is not what i expected him
  1900. 1:05:02to talk about that's not what i knew
  1901. 1:05:03height for i knew him for his research
  1902. 1:05:04his psychology research
  1903. 1:05:06um
  1904. 1:05:07right so i didn't really i hurdled the
  1905. 1:05:09coddling of the american mind as well
  1906. 1:05:11that hadn't come out until
  1907. 1:05:13next year the year after okay um
  1908. 1:05:15so i only knew heid as the author of the
  1909. 1:05:17righteous mind
  1910. 1:05:19and
  1911. 1:05:20i
  1912. 1:05:20i didn't have the context for what that
  1913. 1:05:23talk was about because i was basically
  1914. 1:05:26an outsider to
  1915. 1:05:28this kind of world of you know free
  1916. 1:05:29speech debates and you know what is the
  1917. 1:05:31purpose of a campus and all of this
  1918. 1:05:33stuff i was basically just like a dude
  1919. 1:05:36who felt lucky to get into this great
  1920. 1:05:37university
  1921. 1:05:39um
  1922. 1:05:40and then about what three weeks after
  1923. 1:05:42that uh
  1924. 1:05:43erica christakis
  1925. 1:05:45who was a faculty member at yale wrote
  1926. 1:05:46this infamous email
  1927. 1:05:48about
  1928. 1:05:49uh basically defending freedom of
  1929. 1:05:50expression uh the yale university
  1930. 1:05:53administration basically emailed the
  1931. 1:05:55students on halloween yes yes so they
  1932. 1:05:58basically told students that the
  1933. 1:05:59administration told students you know be
  1934. 1:06:01careful what you wear and all this stuff
  1935. 1:06:03and erica costas wrote a follow-up email
  1936. 1:06:05saying you know if you have a problem
  1937. 1:06:06with what people are wearing you should
  1938. 1:06:07talk to them you know it's important to
  1939. 1:06:09uphold freedom of expression and so on
  1940. 1:06:11and there was this entire campus
  1941. 1:06:13eruption
  1942. 1:06:14my first experience you know having seen
  1943. 1:06:17any kind of uh campus uh protests like
  1944. 1:06:19this before students coming together
  1945. 1:06:22there was this uh
  1946. 1:06:23very sort of dark undercurrent around
  1947. 1:06:25campus people were very afraid to to
  1948. 1:06:27speak out against what was happening um
  1949. 1:06:30and so that basically uh was my
  1950. 1:06:33introduction to
  1951. 1:06:35what uh college is like uh
  1952. 1:06:37and that has basically stayed with me
  1953. 1:06:39ever since it was very formative
  1954. 1:06:40experience for me to see what had
  1955. 1:06:42happened there the other thing is i mean
  1956. 1:06:44i i met with erica christofis later i
  1957. 1:06:46was interested in taking a class with
  1958. 1:06:48her she taught a class at yale called
  1959. 1:06:49the concept of the problem child uh
  1960. 1:06:51which is basically you know this idea of
  1961. 1:06:53of um you know sort of orphaned children
  1962. 1:06:56children who get into trouble and
  1963. 1:06:57mischief and so on in this sort of
  1964. 1:06:59history and psychology of all that and
  1965. 1:07:01you know naturally to me given my
  1966. 1:07:02background is a very interesting idea
  1967. 1:07:04i was wait listed for that class and i
  1968. 1:07:07was very disappointed to learn that she
  1969. 1:07:08stepped down from teaching she said that
  1970. 1:07:10yale is not a good climate for for
  1971. 1:07:12teaching anymore because yeah well it's
  1972. 1:07:14no pain
  1973. 1:07:16right exactly it doesn't take very many
  1974. 1:07:18mobbing experiences to do you in
  1975. 1:07:21yeah well i mean i i had met with her
  1976. 1:07:23and i met with nicholas her husband
  1977. 1:07:25later who was also targeted by the mob
  1978. 1:07:27and to see like like the way that the
  1979. 1:07:29students treated them called them every
  1980. 1:07:31name in the book demanded that they be
  1981. 1:07:32fired and so on and then to like you
  1982. 1:07:34know discover that they were very good
  1983. 1:07:36people uh in in their personal lives um
  1984. 1:07:40they had taken in foster kids of their
  1985. 1:07:41own and and helped them and so on and so
  1986. 1:07:43like to see this this clash between like
  1987. 1:07:46what the students were saying about them
  1988. 1:07:47and who they actually were uh
  1989. 1:07:49i mean it uh
  1990. 1:07:51you know sort of formed this this
  1991. 1:07:52cynical perspective that i still have
  1992. 1:07:54about what kind of people go to these
  1993. 1:07:56universities and what their intentions
  1994. 1:07:58are
  1995. 1:07:59um
  1996. 1:08:00but in any case to talk to you about too
  1997. 1:08:02in terms of your luxury beliefs so
  1998. 1:08:04you know we were talking we've talked
  1999. 1:08:07about two things in some sense we've
  2000. 1:08:09talked about luxury beliefs and we've
  2001. 1:08:10talked about sexual politics
  2002. 1:08:13i suppose right and so i there's a way
  2003. 1:08:17of bringing those together so
  2004. 1:08:20do you think there's have you look at
  2005. 1:08:22gender differences in luxury beliefs so
  2006. 1:08:24for example i
  2007. 1:08:27the universities especially the liberal
  2008. 1:08:29arts are now dominated by women
  2009. 1:08:32and that's not a trivial transformation
  2010. 1:08:34it's a fundamental transformation and
  2011. 1:08:37it i mean heights
  2012. 1:08:39coddling idea
  2013. 1:08:41is easily associated with you know an
  2014. 1:08:44excessive amount of dependence let's say
  2015. 1:08:47and so
  2016. 1:08:48if the maternal role is fundamentally
  2017. 1:08:50the sheltering of infants
  2018. 1:08:52which i think is a reasonable way of
  2019. 1:08:54looking at it
  2020. 1:08:55then well then what happens when that
  2021. 1:08:57becomes political i mean because we
  2022. 1:08:59don't know anything about women's
  2023. 1:09:01large-scale political behavior
  2024. 1:09:04because this is all new and so when you
  2025. 1:09:06have an institution that's essentially
  2026. 1:09:08oriented to young people
  2027. 1:09:10who could be regarded as children but
  2028. 1:09:12wouldn't have to be but could be
  2029. 1:09:13regarded as children
  2030. 1:09:15is the maternal expression that their
  2031. 1:09:18safety and security and emotional
  2032. 1:09:20well-being is paramount and then let's
  2033. 1:09:22take this a step further just to be
  2034. 1:09:24annoying and horrible
  2035. 1:09:26these are all women who are at their
  2036. 1:09:27peak age of fecundity
  2037. 1:09:30and you might say well what's happening
  2038. 1:09:31with all those maternal instincts
  2039. 1:09:33they're just gone all of a sudden i mean
  2040. 1:09:36many 19 year old girls i've talked to
  2041. 1:09:38many of them
  2042. 1:09:39believe that their career is going to be
  2043. 1:09:41the most important thing in their life
  2044. 1:09:44very few 30 year old women believe that
  2045. 1:09:46even if they have high-powered careers
  2046. 1:09:49because they tend to discover that
  2047. 1:09:51high-powered careers come at a
  2048. 1:09:53substantial cost
  2049. 1:09:55like 60 70 hour work weeks etc and so
  2050. 1:09:59that life might be best spent in the
  2051. 1:10:02bosom of family and friends and with
  2052. 1:10:04children etc that's where much of the
  2053. 1:10:06true value is and most women figure that
  2054. 1:10:08out by the time they're in their 30s
  2055. 1:10:10which is why high-powered law firms for
  2056. 1:10:12example have a hell of a time
  2057. 1:10:14retaining their extremely competent and
  2058. 1:10:17highly valuable women no one likes to
  2059. 1:10:19talk about this they wouldn't talk about
  2060. 1:10:20it in the law firms that i consulted for
  2061. 1:10:23many many of them all the women would
  2062. 1:10:25talk about it privately but never
  2063. 1:10:26publicly the discussion was always about
  2064. 1:10:29how the law firms weren't doing enough
  2065. 1:10:31to support women with their children and
  2066. 1:10:33all the women knew that wasn't true that
  2067. 1:10:35wasn't what was going on and the law
  2068. 1:10:37firms were bending over backwards to try
  2069. 1:10:39to accommodate them because they wanted
  2070. 1:10:40to keep their high-performing women for
  2071. 1:10:42obvious economic reasons
  2072. 1:10:44and so we have all these young women
  2073. 1:10:47in who dominate institutions now like
  2074. 1:10:50well especially the humanities and
  2075. 1:10:51liberal arts and universities
  2076. 1:10:53it's like well is that the reason that
  2077. 1:10:56security and safety and
  2078. 1:10:58the sanctity of the home this is a
  2079. 1:11:00community this is a home it's like no
  2080. 1:11:02that's not what a university is actually
  2081. 1:11:06but but that's what it could be so
  2082. 1:11:09what do you think of that and these are
  2083. 1:11:11discussions that no one will have
  2084. 1:11:12obviously
  2085. 1:11:14yeah yeah i'm sorry to put you on the
  2086. 1:11:16spot you can tell me to go to hell if
  2087. 1:11:17you want because you're probably already
  2088. 1:11:19in enough trouble but
  2089. 1:11:22no i mean i think it's an interesting
  2090. 1:11:24idea
  2091. 1:11:25uh
  2092. 1:11:26i'm just not entirely sure
  2093. 1:11:28if that's what's happening here i mean
  2094. 1:11:30maybe i guess it maybe it would depend
  2095. 1:11:32on the level of analysis we're talking
  2096. 1:11:34about here i mean i think at a more
  2097. 1:11:35proximate level so maybe at that
  2098. 1:11:37approximate level it's about sort of
  2099. 1:11:39gaining social status in your local
  2100. 1:11:41environment but perhaps there's sort of
  2101. 1:11:42this ultimate evolutionary level like
  2102. 1:11:44why is it that these are the steps now
  2103. 1:11:47that one must take to obtain social
  2104. 1:11:48status yeah yes maybe underlying that
  2105. 1:11:50are the evolutionary reasons well that's
  2106. 1:11:52exactly the question here well you also
  2107. 1:11:54might wonder
  2108. 1:11:56what messages do
  2109. 1:11:58women at the peak of their fertility
  2110. 1:12:01want to broadcast to the community
  2111. 1:12:06well to the men and to the women for
  2112. 1:12:07that matter
  2113. 1:12:08and it might be i'm a caring person
  2114. 1:12:12well well why why would you broadcast
  2115. 1:12:15that that specifically because we're
  2116. 1:12:17looking at all sorts of potential values
  2117. 1:12:19you could broadcast right
  2118. 1:12:21the luxury values that are selected
  2119. 1:12:23appear to be ones that are putatively
  2120. 1:12:25associated with compassion
  2121. 1:12:28i mean it tilts hard in that direction
  2122. 1:12:30and height has shown that because
  2123. 1:12:32liberal types and and and the luxury
  2124. 1:12:34values that you're describing seem to be
  2125. 1:12:36associated with progressive liberalism
  2126. 1:12:38tremendous amount of that is driven by
  2127. 1:12:40compassion and
  2128. 1:12:42lack of harm rather than more
  2129. 1:12:44conservative uh values let's say
  2130. 1:12:47well i did see this study fairly
  2131. 1:12:50recently i think mitch brown is a grad
  2132. 1:12:52student he was an author on this
  2133. 1:12:53basically showing that
  2134. 1:12:55broadcasting uh
  2135. 1:12:57moral values
  2136. 1:12:58uh
  2137. 1:12:59does sort of increase
  2138. 1:13:01attractiveness to others and i can't
  2139. 1:13:04exactly remember what the specifics were
  2140. 1:13:06but they were sort of involved around
  2141. 1:13:08social justice about caring for the
  2142. 1:13:10oppressed and the downtrodden and so on
  2143. 1:13:12and
  2144. 1:13:13i think the effect was was most
  2145. 1:13:16pronounced for men broadcasting these
  2146. 1:13:18views uh and women found this to be
  2147. 1:13:20particularly attractive um
  2148. 1:13:23but i i could imagine like it would go
  2149. 1:13:25the other way too although a lot of the
  2150. 1:13:26sort of evolutionary psych papers i've
  2151. 1:13:28seen on sort of mating psychology
  2152. 1:13:30it doesn't i mean men seem especially
  2153. 1:13:32young men seem most interested in in
  2154. 1:13:34appearance like far far more than any
  2155. 1:13:37other sort of uh personality or
  2156. 1:13:39behavioral uh dimension among the women
  2157. 1:13:41but it's possible i mean what you're
  2158. 1:13:42saying that maybe it's not so much about
  2159. 1:13:44um
  2160. 1:13:45you know trying to trying to
  2161. 1:13:47impress the man but maybe just the
  2162. 1:13:49community as a whole or or their fellow
  2163. 1:13:51peers it also might not be a matter of
  2164. 1:13:54impressing it might be a matter of
  2165. 1:13:57a particular form of orientation
  2166. 1:14:00taking a new target
  2167. 1:14:02i mean for for most of human history
  2168. 1:14:05women who were in between 19 and 25 had
  2169. 1:14:09infants
  2170. 1:14:11right
  2171. 1:14:11okay so now they don't okay so that
  2172. 1:14:14that's not like triv that's not a
  2173. 1:14:16trivial transformation that's a
  2174. 1:14:18fundamental earth-shaking
  2175. 1:14:20traumatic dramatic transformation
  2176. 1:14:23and so
  2177. 1:14:24we would expect that to have no
  2178. 1:14:26political impact whatsoever
  2179. 1:14:30yeah i i mean it's it does seem to me
  2180. 1:14:33that it it's unlikely that it would have
  2181. 1:14:35zero effect
  2182. 1:14:36um
  2183. 1:14:37i guess my question would be why now
  2184. 1:14:39then um
  2185. 1:14:41why would it i mean because women have
  2186. 1:14:43been going to university now for 50 plus
  2187. 1:14:45years um i think they've been the
  2188. 1:14:46majority dominate
  2189. 1:14:49well they've dominated i mean i think
  2190. 1:14:50they've tipped past 50 since i think the
  2191. 1:14:52early 90s
  2192. 1:14:54so why is it now that you know this i
  2193. 1:14:57mean perhaps
  2194. 1:14:58you know that's that's one ingredient is
  2195. 1:15:00sort of the uh the dominance of of women
  2196. 1:15:03on universities in addition to maybe
  2197. 1:15:05social media and a few other sort of
  2198. 1:15:07more recent uh inventions that have that
  2199. 1:15:10have spurred this on
  2200. 1:15:11yeah well there was definitely a spike
  2201. 1:15:13in politically correct beliefs of the
  2202. 1:15:15sort that you've described in the 90s
  2203. 1:15:17oh interesting right right i mean but
  2204. 1:15:20what seemed to happen then i think that
  2205. 1:15:23was when i was teaching in boston
  2206. 1:15:25it it bubbled up but then the economy
  2207. 1:15:27boomed so madly that people seem to be
  2208. 1:15:29preoccupied by other things for a long
  2209. 1:15:31period of time
  2210. 1:15:33so
  2211. 1:15:34and then it went kind of back
  2212. 1:15:35underground and i thought well maybe
  2213. 1:15:37we're done with that nonsense to some
  2214. 1:15:38degree but it certainly popped back up
  2215. 1:15:40more recently and also 30 years isn't
  2216. 1:15:43very long i mean we're looking at
  2217. 1:15:45massive demographic transformations in
  2218. 1:15:47the structure of our society we don't
  2219. 1:15:49understand i mean we already talked
  2220. 1:15:50about the effect of technology
  2221. 1:15:53of computer technology on on mating but
  2222. 1:15:56we certainly haven't talked about the
  2223. 1:15:58effect of
  2224. 1:15:59of relatively
  2225. 1:16:00um
  2226. 1:16:01accessible and effective birth control
  2227. 1:16:04technology and all of that we touched on
  2228. 1:16:06that but i mean these are huge changes
  2229. 1:16:08that we don't know anything about
  2230. 1:16:10i mean even the
  2231. 1:16:12the sort of birth control issue i mean
  2232. 1:16:15it's really interesting to see just like
  2233. 1:16:16how the how the the the discussion
  2234. 1:16:19around dating has changed so much i mean
  2235. 1:16:21i remember
  2236. 1:16:22you know reading things from the sort of
  2237. 1:16:24early 2010s like 2012 2013 about how
  2238. 1:16:28hookup culture was this great thing that
  2239. 1:16:30was liberating and i think more recently
  2240. 1:16:32people are now starting to question that
  2241. 1:16:34um about whether that's i mean educated
  2242. 1:16:37people questioning whether this is good
  2243. 1:16:39for society
  2244. 1:16:40and
  2245. 1:16:41yeah i i mean i've read this very
  2246. 1:16:43interesting
  2247. 1:16:44article a long form article in brookings
  2248. 1:16:47i can't remember the authors
  2249. 1:16:49specifically about reproduction
  2250. 1:16:50technology and how
  2251. 1:16:52essentially
  2252. 1:16:54this has given rise to in some ways to
  2253. 1:16:58to more broken homes and their reasoning
  2254. 1:17:00was that once um
  2255. 1:17:03once reproduction became a biological
  2256. 1:17:06choice for the mother then fatherhood
  2257. 1:17:08beca in a social choice for the man
  2258. 1:17:11simply because in the past if a woman
  2259. 1:17:12got pregnant there were all of these
  2260. 1:17:14norms in place uh for the man to
  2261. 1:17:16basically marry the woman you know these
  2262. 1:17:18sort of shotgun marriages the community
  2263. 1:17:20shamed the men into marrying the women
  2264. 1:17:21if you skipped out on the woman then you
  2265. 1:17:23were seen as a deadbeat and so on there
  2266. 1:17:24was a lot of taboo and shame around that
  2267. 1:17:27but
  2268. 1:17:28we don't even know what effect there is
  2269. 1:17:31socially for example
  2270. 1:17:33with the presumption that well if you
  2271. 1:17:35get pregnant it's your own fault because
  2272. 1:17:37the
  2273. 1:17:38reliable reproductive prevention
  2274. 1:17:40technology is at hand
  2275. 1:17:42you know and many women who get pregnant
  2276. 1:17:44have not taken the pill properly for
  2277. 1:17:47example and so i'm not saying that they
  2278. 1:17:49should be blamed for that i'm not saying
  2279. 1:17:50that what i am saying is that it opens
  2280. 1:17:53the door for attribution of
  2281. 1:17:55responsibility to the women and we don't
  2282. 1:17:57know what that effect has what effect
  2283. 1:17:59there is of that on social institutions
  2284. 1:18:02that is actually the argument if i
  2285. 1:18:04recall from this brookings article which
  2286. 1:18:06was that
  2287. 1:18:07you know not necessarily societal of it
  2288. 1:18:09wasn't like society suddenly said well
  2289. 1:18:10now if you get pregnant your fault
  2290. 1:18:11because of the pill it was more on a
  2291. 1:18:13local level um couples started to
  2292. 1:18:15believe this men started to believe it
  2293. 1:18:16um the neighborhood the community right
  2294. 1:18:19started to accept that you know if a man
  2295. 1:18:21has sex with a woman and she gets
  2296. 1:18:23pregnant the man can say to himself well
  2297. 1:18:24that's not my problem that's kind of
  2298. 1:18:25your fault because you know you have
  2299. 1:18:27this magical pill that can
  2300. 1:18:29whatever so i don't have to get involved
  2301. 1:18:30anymore and i think the the local
  2302. 1:18:32community and the social environment
  2303. 1:18:34sort of tacitly if not if not um sort of
  2304. 1:18:37openly but at least tacitly started to
  2305. 1:18:38accept this kind of logic this kind of
  2306. 1:18:40reasoning
  2307. 1:18:41and this basically allowed men to skip
  2308. 1:18:43out on their responsibility well it's
  2309. 1:18:45almost inevitable to accept it if you
  2310. 1:18:47accept the proposition that women now
  2311. 1:18:48have control over the reproductive
  2312. 1:18:50function
  2313. 1:18:51and we don't want to dm like i thought
  2314. 1:18:53the 20th century would be remembered for
  2315. 1:18:55three things
  2316. 1:18:57hydrogen bomb
  2317. 1:18:59computer chip
  2318. 1:19:01the pill
  2319. 1:19:03three bombs right the tree because i
  2320. 1:19:05mean there hasn't been a time in human
  2321. 1:19:07history where females had control over
  2322. 1:19:08the reproductive function it's a it's
  2323. 1:19:11it's the equivalent of almost the
  2324. 1:19:13equivalent of a new species in terms of
  2325. 1:19:15dramatic biological transformation
  2326. 1:19:18someone's going to someone's going to
  2327. 1:19:19edit that part out and turn
  2328. 1:19:23good luck to them it's not like i don't
  2329. 1:19:25feel bad for the women who are put in
  2330. 1:19:26this position i certainly do they have a
  2331. 1:19:28tremendous amount to contend with but
  2332. 1:19:30you know the the
  2333. 1:19:32the other thing that's quite interesting
  2334. 1:19:34is all of the debates about consent that
  2335. 1:19:36have emerged on campus
  2336. 1:19:38and exactly what constitutes consent i
  2337. 1:19:40mean because the the 60s hypothesis in
  2338. 1:19:43the wake of the pill was
  2339. 1:19:45well sex doesn't really matter so
  2340. 1:19:48you know any consent will do because
  2341. 1:19:50it's now become a trivial
  2342. 1:19:52endeavor
  2343. 1:19:53i mean that was the theory right it's
  2344. 1:19:55just sex well and aids put the blocks to
  2345. 1:19:58that theory very very rapidly and
  2346. 1:20:00and you know no one likes to talk about
  2347. 1:20:02this because there's many things we
  2348. 1:20:04don't like to talk about but the aids
  2349. 1:20:06virus mutated to take advantage of
  2350. 1:20:08promiscuity in a major way and so
  2351. 1:20:11promiscuity gener promiscuity
  2352. 1:20:13distributed aids and and contributed to
  2353. 1:20:15the manner in which it manifested itself
  2354. 1:20:18and so
  2355. 1:20:19sex turned out to be
  2356. 1:20:21as deep a dangerous force in multiple
  2357. 1:20:23dimensions apart from mere reproductive
  2358. 1:20:26um
  2359. 1:20:27you know danger the other sexually
  2360. 1:20:29transmitted disease were reasonably
  2361. 1:20:31controlled with antibiotics
  2362. 1:20:33so
  2363. 1:20:34i find it interesting that people are so
  2364. 1:20:37just reluctant to talk about the
  2365. 1:20:39importance of sex as an incentive i mean
  2366. 1:20:41there's a lot of discussion in society
  2367. 1:20:42for example about economic incentives
  2368. 1:20:44about jobs professions
  2369. 1:20:46economic and equality and so on but
  2370. 1:20:49there's not much talk about the the role
  2371. 1:20:51that sex plays i mean you know from the
  2372. 1:20:54sort of evolutionary perspective sex has
  2373. 1:20:55been around since before we were human
  2374. 1:20:58sex is still going to be around long
  2375. 1:20:59after humans have gone extinct like sex
  2376. 1:21:01is universal it's it's what drives every
  2377. 1:21:03single species but we i'm just surprised
  2378. 1:21:06at how often we overlook it as as an
  2379. 1:21:08incentive for behavior and how fast
  2380. 1:21:11things are changing in the realm of sex
  2381. 1:21:13i just saw this uh statistic
  2382. 1:21:16uh from the washington post showing that
  2383. 1:21:18from 2008 to 2018 the number of sex the
  2384. 1:21:22amount of sexlessness among men under
  2385. 1:21:25the age of 30 has doubled
  2386. 1:21:26so in 2008
  2387. 1:21:2915 of men under age 30 reported not
  2388. 1:21:31having sex in the past year and by 2018
  2389. 1:21:34it had doubled to about 30 percent and
  2390. 1:21:36for women it had it it increased
  2391. 1:21:39slightly it was something like
  2392. 1:21:4010 in 2008 to like 15 in 2018 so there
  2393. 1:21:45was an increase a slight increase but
  2394. 1:21:47for men it has doubled
  2395. 1:21:49to the point where about one in three
  2396. 1:21:51young men are reporting that they
  2397. 1:21:52haven't had sex in the past year which
  2398. 1:21:54is a very new thing
  2399. 1:21:55um despite the despite the media gaps
  2400. 1:21:58right despite the apps despite um even
  2401. 1:22:01more uh support supposedly for
  2402. 1:22:04um sexual freedom and for polyamory and
  2403. 1:22:07novel relationship arrangements and the
  2404. 1:22:11further sort of devaluing of of the
  2405. 1:22:13importance of sex
  2406. 1:22:14um more people are having less of it men
  2407. 1:22:17and women but especially young men yeah
  2408. 1:22:20well my understanding is that's damn
  2409. 1:22:22near epidemic in japan
  2410. 1:22:26so what's happening
  2411. 1:22:28a tremendous number of young men in
  2412. 1:22:30japan are falling into that category and
  2413. 1:22:32in fact this society has become
  2414. 1:22:34increasingly sexless even among young
  2415. 1:22:37people i mean that's reflected to some
  2416. 1:22:39degree in the declining birth rate but
  2417. 1:22:41now it's been a long time since i look
  2418. 1:22:43looked at the statistics but that's my
  2419. 1:22:45understanding and so
  2420. 1:22:46if it happened there it's not surprising
  2421. 1:22:48that it you know might happen here and
  2422. 1:22:50that might be a consequence too of this
  2423. 1:22:52emergent polygamy that we were
  2424. 1:22:54describing is that all the spoils are
  2425. 1:22:56going to a very few
  2426. 1:22:58few men of course there's also the
  2427. 1:23:00the also the effect of pornography which
  2428. 1:23:03is a
  2429. 1:23:04substitute
  2430. 1:23:05and
  2431. 1:23:07you know that's also
  2432. 1:23:08i don't know much about the literature
  2433. 1:23:10on pornography use
  2434. 1:23:12and the relationship between it and
  2435. 1:23:14and actual sexual activity
  2436. 1:23:16um i have read some ominous things about
  2437. 1:23:18the increase in failure to achieve
  2438. 1:23:21erections among young men
  2439. 1:23:23that at least in principle is a
  2440. 1:23:24consequence of pornography use but
  2441. 1:23:27um i don't know how reliable that is
  2442. 1:23:30data that that married men are more
  2443. 1:23:32likely to experience divorce
  2444. 1:23:34if they watch any amount of pornography
  2445. 1:23:37and it's sort of uh you know
  2446. 1:23:39the more the more pornography they use
  2447. 1:23:42the more likely they are to to get
  2448. 1:23:44divorced
  2449. 1:23:45um
  2450. 1:23:46i think that yeah this this is another i
  2451. 1:23:48mean this is a very recent invention too
  2452. 1:23:49sort of streaming digital pornography
  2453. 1:23:52um
  2454. 1:23:53i've heard that researchers are having
  2455. 1:23:54difficulty even studying this simply
  2456. 1:23:56because they can't really find a control
  2457. 1:23:57group they you know there's no young men
  2458. 1:23:59who don't watch porn
  2459. 1:24:01at least at least have never not been
  2460. 1:24:03exposed to it and so this is a very
  2461. 1:24:05difficult thing for them to even even
  2462. 1:24:06study well it's another
  2463. 1:24:10indication of the
  2464. 1:24:11emergence of polygamy
  2465. 1:24:14because it's virtual polygamy
  2466. 1:24:17we can have an unlimited number of
  2467. 1:24:18attractive sexual partners now it's all
  2468. 1:24:20virtual
  2469. 1:24:21right but but that as
  2470. 1:24:24that is a transformative technology
  2471. 1:24:27i mean there's more pictures of
  2472. 1:24:29of nude women in one day than anybody in
  2473. 1:24:31history would have ever seen in their
  2474. 1:24:33entire life
  2475. 1:24:35yeah and i and i see this uh you know
  2476. 1:24:38the the consequences of this how young
  2477. 1:24:40people interact now where
  2478. 1:24:42there's even these contests to see how
  2479. 1:24:44long they can go without
  2480. 1:24:46watching it almost like it's a game
  2481. 1:24:49um you know these sort of communities on
  2482. 1:24:51reddit or on social media where they'll
  2483. 1:24:52sort of try to
  2484. 1:24:54um go for a month or go for 90 days or
  2485. 1:24:57whatever without watching it um at first
  2486. 1:25:00i think it starts this game no fap and
  2487. 1:25:02they're trying to i think
  2488. 1:25:04you know on the one hand it's sort of a
  2489. 1:25:06game for them it's a contest but on the
  2490. 1:25:07other hand i think there is this
  2491. 1:25:08underlying you know beneath the sort of
  2492. 1:25:11joking around about it i think there is
  2493. 1:25:12this view that like this probably isn't
  2494. 1:25:13good for us and let's see if we can get
  2495. 1:25:15off of it let's see if we can stop
  2496. 1:25:17um
  2497. 1:25:18and
  2498. 1:25:19i i don't i don't see like how this
  2499. 1:25:21isn't changing people i mean i was i
  2500. 1:25:23feel very fortunate because i came of
  2501. 1:25:25age just before
  2502. 1:25:26uh you know sort of uh fast
  2503. 1:25:29internet and all of this stuff that
  2504. 1:25:30started taking off like right before
  2505. 1:25:32youtube all of this stuff and i can
  2506. 1:25:34imagine that if i was a i don't know if
  2507. 1:25:35i was 13 and all of this stuff had
  2508. 1:25:37existed today like i'm sure it would be
  2509. 1:25:39warping my brain in one way or another i
  2510. 1:25:42mean between between the internet
  2511. 1:25:43between social media and then of course
  2512. 1:25:45the digital porn and the endless images
  2513. 1:25:48um
  2514. 1:25:49i i don't know how like very young boys
  2515. 1:25:51are are dealing with this this new um
  2516. 1:25:54this new technology
  2517. 1:25:56well these are all
  2518. 1:25:58it's very difficult for society to
  2519. 1:25:59structure itself around monogamous norms
  2520. 1:26:02that took a lot of work
  2521. 1:26:04and
  2522. 1:26:04when that's taken apart it's not at all
  2523. 1:26:07obvious how to put it back together
  2524. 1:26:10so and it does appear that we're
  2525. 1:26:13seeing the consequences of that
  2526. 1:26:15the consent issue on campus i think is
  2527. 1:26:17extraordinarily interesting
  2528. 1:26:19because
  2529. 1:26:20it isn't what you would would have
  2530. 1:26:22expected it isn't what anybody predicted
  2531. 1:26:24right we thought with the relaxation of
  2532. 1:26:26sexual norms that there would be this
  2533. 1:26:28possibility that sex could become casual
  2534. 1:26:31and there is an insistence it's so
  2535. 1:26:33strange to watch and this is associated
  2536. 1:26:36with your luxury belief item our idea
  2537. 1:26:40on the one hand we have this
  2538. 1:26:42absolute insistence
  2539. 1:26:45by the progressive types essentially
  2540. 1:26:47especially that
  2541. 1:26:49any and all form of sexual expression is
  2542. 1:26:51not only acceptable but to be celebrated
  2543. 1:26:54no matter what the form is
  2544. 1:26:58and on the other hand we have this
  2545. 1:26:59insistence
  2546. 1:27:01that sex is so dangerous that the
  2547. 1:27:03culture is best conceptualized as a rape
  2548. 1:27:06culture and that every step of sexual
  2549. 1:27:09interaction between the young man and
  2550. 1:27:10the young woman needs to be documented
  2551. 1:27:13like formally and perhaps even in
  2552. 1:27:15writing because that has been proposed
  2553. 1:27:17at some universities and so there's this
  2554. 1:27:19perversity about the twin insistence
  2555. 1:27:22right it's
  2556. 1:27:23all forms of sexual expression are
  2557. 1:27:25laudable
  2558. 1:27:27and freeing yet it's so dangerous that
  2559. 1:27:29every bit of it has to be documented and
  2560. 1:27:34the fundamental orienting
  2561. 1:27:37structure is something like rape
  2562. 1:27:40i wonder if this has something to do
  2563. 1:27:41with just sort of sociosexual
  2564. 1:27:43orientation of you know whoever whoever
  2565. 1:27:46happens to be expanding the beliefs so
  2566. 1:27:48if you tend to be a person who's had
  2567. 1:27:50your heart broken or had a lot of
  2568. 1:27:52negative interactions maybe you had the
  2569. 1:27:53expectation of monogamy and then you
  2570. 1:27:56sort of have one too many negative
  2571. 1:27:57experiences then you may start to be
  2572. 1:27:59very preoccupied with uh with the issue
  2573. 1:28:02of concern i think that's exactly what
  2574. 1:28:04happens i i think that so you know we
  2575. 1:28:06talked about people being shielded from
  2576. 1:28:08the consequences of their luxury beliefs
  2577. 1:28:10and they're shielded to some degree
  2578. 1:28:14right but my suspicions are is that the
  2579. 1:28:17relationship between sex and emotional
  2580. 1:28:19intimacy is a lot tighter than people
  2581. 1:28:22want to presuppose when they
  2582. 1:28:25insist that all forms of sexual
  2583. 1:28:27expression are laudable
  2584. 1:28:29it's just not the case emotionally
  2585. 1:28:31and those people the ones who are who
  2586. 1:28:34are supporting or promoting the complete
  2587. 1:28:36sexual freedom they may just be sort of
  2588. 1:28:38less sensitive
  2589. 1:28:39to having negative sexual experiences
  2590. 1:28:42because like you're saying all of it is
  2591. 1:28:43fun all of it is free there's uh all of
  2592. 1:28:45it is laudable and so for them if they
  2593. 1:28:47have you know experience that someone
  2594. 1:28:49else might do as negative for them it's
  2595. 1:28:50just not a big deal and so this is why
  2596. 1:28:52they're they're promoting more of a more
  2597. 1:28:54open sexual
  2598. 1:28:58they could be high in openness say so
  2599. 1:29:00exploratory and low in agreeableness so
  2600. 1:29:02you know they're not as they're not as
  2601. 1:29:04so associated they're not as likely to
  2602. 1:29:06form
  2603. 1:29:07immediate
  2604. 1:29:08empathy i mean this itself may be
  2605. 1:29:11connected to your earlier question about
  2606. 1:29:13sort of the the the growth in the number
  2607. 1:29:16of female students on campus i mean
  2608. 1:29:18there's been interesting research from
  2609. 1:29:20uh so john berger i think i'm getting
  2610. 1:29:22his name right wrote a book called
  2611. 1:29:24datonomics where he goes uh he he
  2612. 1:29:26discusses at length the role that sex
  2613. 1:29:28ratios play
  2614. 1:29:29uh for social interactions for romantic
  2615. 1:29:32interactions and basically he found that
  2616. 1:29:33on campuses where there's uh
  2617. 1:29:37more women than there are men
  2618. 1:29:39uh there's much more hookup culture
  2619. 1:29:41women expect less of the men
  2620. 1:29:45they report that like basically feeling
  2621. 1:29:46despondent about their chances of
  2622. 1:29:48getting a boyfriend uh men on the other
  2623. 1:29:50hand seem to have a much more uh uh
  2624. 1:29:53enjoyable time uh they report having
  2625. 1:29:55more sexual partners feeling uh more
  2626. 1:29:57upbeat
  2627. 1:29:59feeling more hopeful having more hookups
  2628. 1:30:00and so on whereas on university campuses
  2629. 1:30:03like caltech where there tend to be more
  2630. 1:30:05men than women it's actually the reverse
  2631. 1:30:07where women are more likely to have a
  2632. 1:30:08boyfriend to be more satisfied with
  2633. 1:30:10their romantic situation
  2634. 1:30:12and so on and basically the the um i
  2635. 1:30:15mean and this has been documented in
  2636. 1:30:17across cultures in different cities
  2637. 1:30:18different societies and so on and
  2638. 1:30:19basically the idea is that when there's
  2639. 1:30:22a large number of women
  2640. 1:30:24and a scarcity of men women have to
  2641. 1:30:26compete
  2642. 1:30:27for
  2643. 1:30:28that small pool of men and they're more
  2644. 1:30:29willing to basically modify their
  2645. 1:30:31behavior in ways that men find appealing
  2646. 1:30:34which you know oftentimes is sort of
  2647. 1:30:36short-term casual sex
  2648. 1:30:38uh you know hookups um sort of very
  2649. 1:30:41casual situations whereas when the river
  2650. 1:30:44versus the case and there's a scarcity
  2651. 1:30:45of women in a large number of men then
  2652. 1:30:47men tend to modify their behaviors to be
  2653. 1:30:48more oriented toward long-term
  2654. 1:30:49relationships towards commitment and
  2655. 1:30:51emotional connection and so on
  2656. 1:30:53and so as universities
  2657. 1:30:55uh become more dominated by by women and
  2658. 1:30:59the sort of
  2659. 1:31:01sexual uh
  2660. 1:31:02so their satisfaction with the sexual
  2661. 1:31:04landscape declines then maybe this is
  2662. 1:31:06related to some of what we're seeing of
  2663. 1:31:08course maybe with consent and some of
  2664. 1:31:10these other social justice issues that
  2665. 1:31:11we're seeing that a lot of it may be
  2666. 1:31:14sort of driven by um sort of
  2667. 1:31:16dissatisfaction with the romantic
  2668. 1:31:18landscape and and the way that men are
  2669. 1:31:20behaving a sense of being exploited but
  2670. 1:31:23then i would be interested to know if in
  2671. 1:31:26those universities where there's a
  2672. 1:31:28relatively smaller proportion of men and
  2673. 1:31:30the men report being more satisfied i
  2674. 1:31:32wonder
  2675. 1:31:33if that's the median or the average
  2676. 1:31:37right because i would say that's the
  2677. 1:31:38average
  2678. 1:31:39you think so i because i was thinking
  2679. 1:31:41that in those situations it would still
  2680. 1:31:44be a relatively small minority of men
  2681. 1:31:46who are getting all the sexual attention
  2682. 1:31:49now it might be better to be the mean
  2683. 1:31:53well wouldn't that mean that the mean
  2684. 1:31:55satisfaction would be high whereas the
  2685. 1:31:56median might yes that is sorry yes
  2686. 1:31:58you're exactly right that's exactly
  2687. 1:32:00right okay so there'd be there'd be a
  2688. 1:32:01fair bit of variation around the mean as
  2689. 1:32:03well yeah right yeah i i would agree
  2690. 1:32:06with that i mean
  2691. 1:32:07there's there's a lot of like sort of
  2692. 1:32:08interesting findings i think this was a
  2693. 1:32:10study from mit which showed that like
  2694. 1:32:12something like half of the graduates of
  2695. 1:32:14mit male male graduates of mit graduate
  2696. 1:32:17as virgins and
  2697. 1:32:18um
  2698. 1:32:19i think that this this pattern has also
  2699. 1:32:21been found in other top universities as
  2700. 1:32:23well and
  2701. 1:32:24and so this probably goes to this idea
  2702. 1:32:25that a small number of the men at at
  2703. 1:32:27universities are accumulating uh more
  2704. 1:32:30well that would go along with the four
  2705. 1:32:31percent
  2706. 1:32:33rating four percent description of
  2707. 1:32:35tinder and so what happens is that where
  2708. 1:32:37there's a relatively small number of men
  2709. 1:32:39that competition between women becomes
  2710. 1:32:41incredibly intense but for a very small
  2711. 1:32:43fraction of the men and because those
  2712. 1:32:45men have endless short-term options
  2713. 1:32:48there's no satisfaction on the female
  2714. 1:32:50side with regard to anything past you
  2715. 1:32:52know a short-term casual relationship
  2716. 1:32:55i saw this really uh kind of amusing
  2717. 1:32:57study it was in pnas of um
  2718. 1:33:00this idea of sexy selfies and which
  2719. 1:33:02countries
  2720. 1:33:03uh in which countries are women most
  2721. 1:33:05likely to post sort of sexually
  2722. 1:33:07provocative image of themselves on the
  2723. 1:33:08internet and on social media
  2724. 1:33:10and
  2725. 1:33:11so the researchers you know they put
  2726. 1:33:12forth various hypotheses one of them was
  2727. 1:33:14maybe it's maybe it's patriarchy maybe
  2728. 1:33:16in cultures where uh women are treated
  2729. 1:33:19very poorly they feel like they have to
  2730. 1:33:21present themselves in a certain way very
  2731. 1:33:22sexually provocative poses and so on but
  2732. 1:33:25that's not what the researchers found
  2733. 1:33:26what they found was that in in countries
  2734. 1:33:28where um
  2735. 1:33:29uh income inequality tends to be high uh
  2736. 1:33:32that's when women are most likely to
  2737. 1:33:33post sexy selfies and their um their
  2738. 1:33:36conclusion here was that when women are
  2739. 1:33:38competing for a shrinking number of
  2740. 1:33:40highly successful men
  2741. 1:33:42um they're more likely to pose in
  2742. 1:33:44provocative ways on the internet in in
  2743. 1:33:46the hopes of capturing their attention
  2744. 1:33:48which is maybe what we're seeing on you
  2745. 1:33:49know on instagram and on on various
  2746. 1:33:51other social media apps where
  2747. 1:33:54um i think there is this this sort of
  2748. 1:33:56like i don't know tilting towards more
  2749. 1:33:58more and more
  2750. 1:34:00sort of pornographic adjacent content in
  2751. 1:34:03the hope of capturing uh more attention
  2752. 1:34:06and
  2753. 1:34:07so i think that a lot of a lot of what
  2754. 1:34:09we're seeing may be it may be due to
  2755. 1:34:11sort of this this overlooked topic of of
  2756. 1:34:13the sexual dynamics in society
  2757. 1:34:17so what's been the consequence for you
  2758. 1:34:19of having pursued this line of thought
  2759. 1:34:21we we started to touch on that but we
  2760. 1:34:22didn't touch on it that much
  2761. 1:34:25um
  2762. 1:34:26it hasn't been too bad um you know some
  2763. 1:34:29people have questioned me on this i've
  2764. 1:34:31had some somewhat nasty comments
  2765. 1:34:34uh from other graduate students here at
  2766. 1:34:36cambridge
  2767. 1:34:37um
  2768. 1:34:38social media stuff but it really hasn't
  2769. 1:34:40been that bad um
  2770. 1:34:44yeah i've actually met uh quite a number
  2771. 1:34:46of people who agree with me
  2772. 1:34:49and who are glad that someone is
  2773. 1:34:50speaking out about this issue
  2774. 1:34:52um i actually met um yeah a lot of
  2775. 1:34:54friends by by talking about this openly
  2776. 1:34:57i think that this is if this is just one
  2777. 1:34:59of those things where people are are
  2778. 1:35:01silent because they're afraid of the
  2779. 1:35:02reputational cause but when someone else
  2780. 1:35:04starts speaking out they feel more
  2781. 1:35:05comfortable sort of coming out of their
  2782. 1:35:07shell more and more and discussing it
  2783. 1:35:09i on the other hand i
  2784. 1:35:12you know i'm sort of reluctant to
  2785. 1:35:14continue uh along a career in academia
  2786. 1:35:17simply because of everything that i've
  2787. 1:35:18seen so i mentioned before what i saw at
  2788. 1:35:20yale with the christakisses um part of
  2789. 1:35:22the reason why i came to cambridge you
  2790. 1:35:23know there are many reasons but one of
  2791. 1:35:24the reasons why i came here was because
  2792. 1:35:26i thought it would be different i
  2793. 1:35:27thought that the um
  2794. 1:35:29sort of uh social mobbing and the sort
  2795. 1:35:32of student protests and i thought that
  2796. 1:35:34was kind maybe i hoped that it was an
  2797. 1:35:36american thing and i thought that well
  2798. 1:35:37maybe if i go to england things will be
  2799. 1:35:39calm maybe things aren't as political
  2800. 1:35:40over there and within a matter of months
  2801. 1:35:44two things happened one was you were
  2802. 1:35:45supposed to come here to be a research
  2803. 1:35:48fellow and then you were just invited
  2804. 1:35:49because of the student protests and then
  2805. 1:35:50two there was a young postdoc named noah
  2806. 1:35:53carl who was supposed to you know he's a
  2807. 1:35:54postdoc here and he was fired uh because
  2808. 1:35:56of student protests as well and so i
  2809. 1:35:58thought okay well i come over here
  2810. 1:36:00hoping to get away from that and it sort
  2811. 1:36:02of followed me over here so maybe maybe
  2812. 1:36:04this is a sign that uh i'm supposed to
  2813. 1:36:06be doing something else other than than
  2814. 1:36:08uh than remaining uh within within uh
  2815. 1:36:11the the academy so once i'm finished
  2816. 1:36:13with my phd i may have yeah i heard the
  2817. 1:36:15grapevine that uh
  2818. 1:36:17you know hypothetically i was disinvited
  2819. 1:36:20from cambridge because
  2820. 1:36:21a photograph was taken with me in new
  2821. 1:36:24zealand of someone wearing a
  2822. 1:36:27t-shirt that was critical of islam
  2823. 1:36:30but i learned through the grapevine that
  2824. 1:36:32the decision to disinvite me had been
  2825. 1:36:34taken before that and that was used as
  2826. 1:36:36an excuse and not at all
  2827. 1:36:39reliable source
  2828. 1:36:41yeah so stunning stunning so that all of
  2829. 1:36:44that it was very
  2830. 1:36:46costly and painful for me to undergo
  2831. 1:36:48that and
  2832. 1:36:49you know it's so peculiar because i was
  2833. 1:36:51going to cambridge hypothetically to
  2834. 1:36:53talk about biblical stories with you
  2835. 1:36:55know people at the divinity center there
  2836. 1:36:57and the biblical story
  2837. 1:36:59the lectures that i've done have been
  2838. 1:37:01very popular and in reasonably
  2839. 1:37:03influential and you know well received
  2840. 1:37:06by atheists and religious people alike
  2841. 1:37:08so it was a serious academic endeavor
  2842. 1:37:10and it was very
  2843. 1:37:12difficult to bear the
  2844. 1:37:14oprobrium let's say that was associated
  2845. 1:37:16with that
  2846. 1:37:17um
  2847. 1:37:19i understand that that you know things
  2848. 1:37:21have perhaps changed for the better with
  2849. 1:37:22regards to such decisions more recently
  2850. 1:37:25but
  2851. 1:37:26um it was shocking to me to to find out
  2852. 1:37:29that it was based on a lie
  2853. 1:37:31and yeah
  2854. 1:37:33my reputation you know it's it's it's
  2855. 1:37:36it's uh it's quite something so so where
  2856. 1:37:39are you in your phd program now
  2857. 1:37:42uh so
  2858. 1:37:43finishing up my third year i should have
  2859. 1:37:45one more year and then i will be
  2860. 1:37:47returning to the states don't know
  2861. 1:37:48exactly what i'll be doing but uh yeah
  2862. 1:37:51like i said probably probably not in a
  2863. 1:37:53university at that point yeah things
  2864. 1:37:55have changed uh yeah so much over the
  2865. 1:37:57last few years in terms of
  2866. 1:37:59the you know political correctness and
  2867. 1:38:02how reluctant people are to speak out
  2868. 1:38:04and
  2869. 1:38:05i think um
  2870. 1:38:06yeah i started to experience that at the
  2871. 1:38:08university of toronto i started to get
  2872. 1:38:10nervous about
  2873. 1:38:14talking about sex differences and
  2874. 1:38:16personality
  2875. 1:38:18you know when i was just i taught a
  2876. 1:38:20personality course and i published
  2877. 1:38:22papers on sex differences in personality
  2878. 1:38:25so it was actually an area of
  2879. 1:38:26specialization of mine and for years i
  2880. 1:38:29would lay out the data which was
  2881. 1:38:32somewhat
  2882. 1:38:35ethical i don't mean laying it out i
  2883. 1:38:37mean the data itself it's like while
  2884. 1:38:38there might be differences between men
  2885. 1:38:41and women and there might not be but the
  2886. 1:38:43empirical evidence suggests that
  2887. 1:38:47if you add all the personality
  2888. 1:38:48differences between men and women
  2889. 1:38:50together you can reliably discriminate
  2890. 1:38:53between who's a man and who's a woman
  2891. 1:38:54with women with about 75 percent
  2892. 1:38:56accuracy which is pretty accurate but
  2893. 1:38:59trait by trait men and women are more
  2894. 1:39:02alike than different so yeah fair enough
  2895. 1:39:05um and there are two dimensions where
  2896. 1:39:08the differences particularly manifest
  2897. 1:39:10themselves
  2898. 1:39:11sensitivity to negative emotion and
  2899. 1:39:12agreeableness and
  2900. 1:39:14and so that's that and
  2901. 1:39:16then those differences are bigger in
  2902. 1:39:18egalitarian countries than in
  2903. 1:39:19non-egalitarian countries which is
  2904. 1:39:21counter-intuitive and surprising and
  2905. 1:39:23shocking
  2906. 1:39:25and interesting
  2907. 1:39:27also holds true for dark triad
  2908. 1:39:29characteristics by the way so
  2909. 1:39:30psychopathy narcissism and
  2910. 1:39:31machiavellianism the gender gap is
  2911. 1:39:33larger in more egalitarian cultures
  2912. 1:39:36you may not be surprised to know that
  2913. 1:39:37but i found that pretty interesting i
  2914. 1:39:39mean it sort of falls in line with all
  2915. 1:39:40the other research you're describing
  2916. 1:39:43yeah it's very interesting that more
  2917. 1:39:44egalitarian policies magnify some
  2918. 1:39:47differences they ameliorate in
  2919. 1:39:49scandinavia the preferred age gap
  2920. 1:39:52between women and men is somewhat
  2921. 1:39:54smaller than in non-egalitarian
  2922. 1:39:56countries so there are some
  2923. 1:39:58there are some
  2924. 1:40:00phenomena that do
  2925. 1:40:02modify towards
  2926. 1:40:04equality with egalitarian social
  2927. 1:40:06policies but lots don't anyways i
  2928. 1:40:08started to get nervous about lecturing
  2929. 1:40:10about those sorts of things i i thought
  2930. 1:40:12geez i'm nervous about this isn't that
  2931. 1:40:15strange
  2932. 1:40:16and part of it was because i did have
  2933. 1:40:18some female students who came up to me
  2934. 1:40:20after lectures and who were
  2935. 1:40:23offended you know they were snippy and
  2936. 1:40:25and sarcastic and that very rarely
  2937. 1:40:27happened to me and so it was quite
  2938. 1:40:30marked
  2939. 1:40:32you know i'd have the odd hyper feminist
  2940. 1:40:34type stomp out of my first class
  2941. 1:40:37even a few years ago just as a you know
  2942. 1:40:40demonstration of sorts but that
  2943. 1:40:42that really meant nothing
  2944. 1:40:44but and then now my graduate students
  2945. 1:40:46started telling me that they were very
  2946. 1:40:47nervous about discussing anything to do
  2947. 1:40:49with sex differences and the women
  2948. 1:40:51particularly and and so that's that
  2949. 1:40:53started to become worrisome
  2950. 1:40:56so
  2951. 1:40:57and what do you see happening in in
  2952. 1:40:59cambridge what's it been like there for
  2953. 1:41:00you
  2954. 1:41:02i mean well
  2955. 1:41:03well really it's been it's been a very
  2956. 1:41:05strict lockdown over the last uh 15 plus
  2957. 1:41:07months or so
  2958. 1:41:08but before that it wasn't you know it
  2959. 1:41:10wasn't bad i was i was still fairly open
  2960. 1:41:12with my views uh you know i wrote i
  2961. 1:41:15defended uh you in an op-ed in the new
  2962. 1:41:16york times i've written you know the
  2963. 1:41:18luxury beliefs post i've i've not been
  2964. 1:41:20i've not necessarily withheld my views
  2965. 1:41:22um
  2966. 1:41:24fortunately within my department i
  2967. 1:41:25haven't had much of an issue i think the
  2968. 1:41:26psych department here is very solid um
  2969. 1:41:29but you know more broadly the culture
  2970. 1:41:31the campus culture is um
  2971. 1:41:34you know about the same as it is
  2972. 1:41:35anywhere else uh sort of um people are
  2973. 1:41:38people are afraid i had a conversation
  2974. 1:41:39with a professor here
  2975. 1:41:41last year i had lunch with him and he
  2976. 1:41:44it was interesting when he told me he
  2977. 1:41:45said that um it's not necessarily that
  2978. 1:41:48the faculty agree with a lot of the sort
  2979. 1:41:51of extreme political uh movements that
  2980. 1:41:54are going on but they just want to be
  2981. 1:41:56left alone um they just want to do their
  2982. 1:41:58work they just want to do the research
  2983. 1:41:59yeah and if a bunch of social mobs come
  2984. 1:42:02after them and say you know you better
  2985. 1:42:04sign this petition or you better say
  2986. 1:42:05this or you better post that they just
  2987. 1:42:07want to do it and and get get these
  2988. 1:42:09people out of their lives get it out of
  2989. 1:42:10their hair
  2990. 1:42:11and so they're not
  2991. 1:42:13they're not ideologues many of them
  2992. 1:42:15probably most of them are not but they
  2993. 1:42:17just want to sort of get back to their
  2994. 1:42:19lives and they'll just do whatever they
  2995. 1:42:20have to they're selected for that i mean
  2996. 1:42:23to become an academic
  2997. 1:42:26a research academic you have to be
  2998. 1:42:28obsessive about some
  2999. 1:42:30specialization
  3000. 1:42:31and you have to
  3001. 1:42:33wall yourself off from everything else
  3002. 1:42:35and pursue that because otherwise you're
  3003. 1:42:37not publishing your three papers a year
  3004. 1:42:39or whatever it requires to maintain your
  3005. 1:42:42academic status it takes a tremendous
  3006. 1:42:44amount of specialization and so
  3007. 1:42:46we set up universities to put up walls
  3008. 1:42:49around people who were willing to
  3009. 1:42:51specialize so they could do exactly that
  3010. 1:42:54but it's laid them open to invasion by
  3011. 1:42:57people who have a political agenda and
  3012. 1:42:59that's often failed researchers who
  3013. 1:43:01become administrators for example and
  3014. 1:43:03who are interested in
  3015. 1:43:06power which is pretty much what they
  3016. 1:43:07talk about all the time as well
  3017. 1:43:09and so i mean i've seen
  3018. 1:43:11faculty
  3019. 1:43:12are
  3020. 1:43:14in some sense powerless
  3021. 1:43:16by choice in some ways
  3022. 1:43:18against the kinds of demands that you're
  3023. 1:43:20describing but it's also a consequence
  3024. 1:43:23of the selection methods that produce
  3025. 1:43:24them to begin with and the purpose of
  3026. 1:43:26the university
  3027. 1:43:28i had a friend here uh who was very
  3028. 1:43:31active online on social media so he was
  3029. 1:43:33a graduate you know medical school
  3030. 1:43:35graduate who came here is against
  3031. 1:43:36cambridge scholar to do research and i
  3032. 1:43:37think biochemistry or something
  3033. 1:43:39and he posted something online about um
  3034. 1:43:42his views on on being a pro-life person
  3035. 1:43:45and
  3036. 1:43:46you know his phd supervisor and people
  3037. 1:43:49in his department were getting all kinds
  3038. 1:43:50of calls you know saying that they had
  3039. 1:43:52to let him go that they should fire him
  3040. 1:43:55uh they need to kick him out of
  3041. 1:43:56cambridge and so on and
  3042. 1:43:58you know they basically they didn't kick
  3043. 1:44:00him out but they told him like you have
  3044. 1:44:01to take down your social media account
  3045. 1:44:02because we just can't have people
  3046. 1:44:04constantly calling and emailing and
  3047. 1:44:06harassing and so on the activists just
  3048. 1:44:08make it so costly
  3049. 1:44:10to have an opinion that people just sort
  3050. 1:44:12of you know they sort of silence
  3051. 1:44:14themselves you know why why would you
  3052. 1:44:15want to get involved they just sort of
  3053. 1:44:17acquiesce to it not because they agree
  3054. 1:44:18but just because they don't want to have
  3055. 1:44:20to deal with the burden it's very it's i
  3056. 1:44:21mean it's a sort of clever strategy i
  3057. 1:44:23think on on the part of the activists
  3058. 1:44:25um
  3059. 1:44:26that's something that i'm interested in
  3060. 1:44:27too is just like who who tends to to be
  3061. 1:44:30attracted to those movements and how
  3062. 1:44:31effective they are i mean i've seen
  3063. 1:44:33academic papers retracted because um the
  3064. 1:44:36journal editor uh you know they posted
  3065. 1:44:38something like you know we had to
  3066. 1:44:39withdraw this paper because the journal
  3067. 1:44:40editor received credible threats of
  3068. 1:44:42physical violence like you can literally
  3069. 1:44:44threaten to kill the journal editor and
  3070. 1:44:46then they'll just take take out whatever
  3071. 1:44:47paper you want him to take out i mean
  3072. 1:44:49it's uh like it's very interesting to
  3073. 1:44:51see that this is this is uh the world
  3074. 1:44:52we're living in
  3075. 1:44:55yeah well it's no it's no joke to be
  3076. 1:44:57targeted like that and it's not
  3077. 1:44:59surprising it shuts people down
  3078. 1:45:01it's really hard i mean it's
  3079. 1:45:02understandable yeah i don't begrudge
  3080. 1:45:04anyone for for for doing it um a lot of
  3081. 1:45:07people don't
  3082. 1:45:09yeah they just don't have the stomach to
  3083. 1:45:11deal with with that level of of
  3084. 1:45:13notoriety or controversy um the way that
  3085. 1:45:16you and others have
  3086. 1:45:17yeah well it isn't obvious that i've
  3087. 1:45:18dealt with it either so i'm still here
  3088. 1:45:21but that's about all i'd say about it
  3089. 1:45:23it certainly hasn't been
  3090. 1:45:24it's been terrible i'm sorry i took your
  3091. 1:45:26personality test um
  3092. 1:45:29shortly after it it came out when you
  3093. 1:45:30still had the discount going and i
  3094. 1:45:32scored in the ninth percentile in
  3095. 1:45:34agreeableness um
  3096. 1:45:36so i think that might have something to
  3097. 1:45:38do with why i'm okay with with uh you
  3098. 1:45:40know sort of taking on some of this heat
  3099. 1:45:43yeah yeah well the thing about
  3100. 1:45:45disagreeable people is that they will
  3101. 1:45:46say what they think
  3102. 1:45:48yeah
  3103. 1:45:49yeah yeah yeah so was that compassion or
  3104. 1:45:51politeness
  3105. 1:45:53it was it was it was very low on
  3106. 1:45:55politeness and a little higher on
  3107. 1:45:56compassion but still like pretty low on
  3108. 1:45:59both
  3109. 1:46:00uh and it averaged out to the ninth
  3110. 1:46:01percentile so so at least i'm i'm you
  3111. 1:46:04know a little more compassionate than i
  3112. 1:46:05am polite
  3113. 1:46:07well one in 10 isn't you know isn't that
  3114. 1:46:10low really all things considered
  3115. 1:46:12so
  3116. 1:46:13but but that would explain that would
  3117. 1:46:16explain your willingness to take
  3118. 1:46:18confrontational positions or adversarial
  3119. 1:46:20positions let's say well obviously you
  3120. 1:46:22also believe that they're you know that
  3121. 1:46:24you're relating something that is true
  3122. 1:46:26so we don't know how much moral courage
  3123. 1:46:28it takes and what personality attributes
  3124. 1:46:31are
  3125. 1:46:31shaping the ability to
  3126. 1:46:33voice unpopular truths but i suspect
  3127. 1:46:35disagreeableness has something to do
  3128. 1:46:37with it
  3129. 1:46:38it's strange in my case because i'm very
  3130. 1:46:40agreeable as it turns out but
  3131. 1:46:42which is probably why i pay a high price
  3132. 1:46:44for doing it even though i do do it
  3133. 1:46:47so interesting
  3134. 1:46:49yeah i was uh yeah i mean i i'd gotten
  3135. 1:46:52in a lot of trouble in school as a kid i
  3136. 1:46:54um
  3137. 1:46:55yeah i just always had this sort of um
  3138. 1:46:58disposition
  3139. 1:46:59to uh to rebel and to question rules and
  3140. 1:47:02and so on and and fortunately over time
  3141. 1:47:05i was able to get it under control to
  3142. 1:47:06some extent i also scored pretty high in
  3143. 1:47:08conscientiousness which may be part of
  3144. 1:47:09why i was able to
  3145. 1:47:11land where i where i've landed but i you
  3146. 1:47:14know it was a long securities path to
  3147. 1:47:16get here
  3148. 1:47:17right yeah well conscientiousness is a
  3149. 1:47:19colder virtue but it tends to pay off in
  3150. 1:47:22the long run
  3151. 1:47:24so what do you think you're going to do
  3152. 1:47:26when you finish your degree you know you
  3153. 1:47:28said you're you're not that interested
  3154. 1:47:29in pursuing an academic path
  3155. 1:47:32yeah i well my book is supposed to come
  3156. 1:47:34out later next year so near the end of
  3157. 1:47:36next year and i'll probably be spending
  3158. 1:47:39a lot of time promoting that and
  3159. 1:47:42yeah i i don't know i do enjoy research
  3160. 1:47:45writing teaching all of those things so
  3161. 1:47:47in whatever capacity i can
  3162. 1:47:49continue to do that whether it's working
  3163. 1:47:51at a think tank
  3164. 1:47:52or or even just going full independent
  3165. 1:47:55and and sort of starting my own channel
  3166. 1:47:56or something like that um
  3167. 1:47:59and yeah i'll just be continuing writing
  3168. 1:48:00and and
  3169. 1:48:02sharing my views in one way or another
  3170. 1:48:04although i'm not exactly sure what form
  3171. 1:48:05that'll take
  3172. 1:48:07well it was really good talking with you
  3173. 1:48:09today i thought the discussion was
  3174. 1:48:11moved along at a great clip and uh i
  3175. 1:48:14appreciated your viewpoints and your
  3176. 1:48:15candor all of that and
  3177. 1:48:18i learned a fair bit as a consequence of
  3178. 1:48:20talking to you and so much appreciated
  3179. 1:48:24likewise thank you dr peterson you bet
  3180. 1:48:26you bet good to meet you maybe we'll
  3181. 1:48:28meet up in cambridge if i ever come
  3182. 1:48:30there
  3183. 1:48:31let's do it
  3184. 1:48:32[Music]
  3185. 1:48:55you

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