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Say What Sticks: The Neuroscience of Memorable Communication — Transcript

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0:00To combat the inevitable forgetting of
0:02your content that your audience will
0:04experience, you need to define your 10%
0:08message. My name is Matt Abrahams, and I
0:11teach strategic communication at
0:12Stanford Graduate School of Business.
0:14Welcome to Think Fast, Talk Smart, the
0:17podcast.
0:19>> [music]
0:23>> Today, I am really excited to speak with
0:25my [music] friend Carmen Simon. Carmen
0:27is a cognitive neuroscientist, author,
0:30and speaker who studies the way the
0:32human brain processes and retains
0:34information. Her work focuses on helping
0:36professionals create memorable
0:38experiences that influence
0:40decision-making and behavior. Well,
0:42welcome, Carmen. I am so excited to have
0:44you here. It's about time you've been on
0:46the show. We've known each other for
0:47decades, and I'm really excited to have
0:49you here.
0:49>> Thank you so much for inviting me, and
0:51welcome, everyone. Yeah, so let's get
0:53started. Yes.
0:54>> All right. In your research and your
0:56book Impossible to Ignore, you discuss
0:58the difference between attention and
1:00memory. You go further to say that
1:03memory is a byproduct of attention. How
1:06can a communicator design a message
1:07that's not just experienced in the
1:09moment, but is structured to create
1:11lasting memory that influences future
1:13decisions and behaviors? That's a strong
1:16question and a very deep one, too.
1:19>> Aspire at creating memory traces in
1:21somebody else's brain it sounds very
1:23good and noble on the surface, not so
1:25easy to do in practice because we forget
1:28our lives almost as quickly as we live
1:31them.
1:31>> More so as I get older, for sure. It's
1:34the same for all of us after the age of
1:3525, as you know, it's a downhill battle.
1:38It's not that it's impossible, we have
1:40to try harder to first pay attention,
1:42and as a result of that, remember a
1:44little bit better.
1:45>> Right.
1:45>> It's not easy to pay attention.
1:47Attention is one of the most
1:48misunderstood cognitive processes in the
1:50brain. The good news, though, is that we
1:52don't pay attention just in one way, we
1:54pay attention in various ways. We have
1:56multiple attention systems. So, one
1:59practical guideline that we can share
2:01with our audiences is as you think about
2:03attention, your own or attracting other
2:05people's,
2:07think of it in terms of these two
2:08dimensions. One is where are you
2:10looking? Because attention can be paid
2:12to the external world.
2:14What is something that has gotten your
2:15attention lately, for instance? I'm
2:17spending a lot of time thinking about
2:19AI. Okay, so you turn around, you're
2:21surrounded by tools. Some are
2:23text-based, some are voice-based, but
2:25the attention is going outward.
2:28Attention can also be paid inward. Like
2:30as you're thinking about AI, and perhaps
2:32you have some introspective thoughts.
2:34Are these tools getting better than we
2:36are? Are they as creative as we are?
2:38Where are you looking, internally or
2:40externally? And there's also another
2:42dimension, which is who's dictating the
2:45looking? Are you looking on your own
2:47accord, either outside or inside? Or is
2:50someone prompting you to look? Because
2:52sometimes you may be passing by somebody
2:54or something, and suddenly you just have
2:56to do a double take. At the intersection
2:59of these two variables, where are you
3:00looking and who's doing the looking or
3:02prompting it? You might think, well, I
3:04have a lot of control in terms of
3:06prompting someone to look outside. From
3:09that perspective, you can use some
3:10physical properties of a stimulus. Like
3:12for instance, if something is small all
3:14the time, then making something large
3:16will get attention. If something is
3:18quiet, then something that would be
3:19louder will get your attention. So,
3:22think about some properties of a
3:23stimulus that you can manipulate
3:26and that makes someone look. If you make
3:28them look, you're more likely to enable
3:30them to remember something.
3:32That's really fascinating. So, it's it's
3:35taking something and changing the way it
3:37normally appears.
3:38>> Yes. Yes.
3:39>> Our brains are wired, I guess, for
3:40novelty or things that change. So, so
3:42that attracts our attention. Yes.
3:45Luckily, novelty is not the only thing
3:46that attracts our attention, but yes, if
3:48you can make something new, or sometimes
3:51you don't have to put so much pressure
3:53on yourselves cuz coming up with
3:55something new all the time, that would
3:56be very difficult. But, I want to make a
3:58distinction between these two terms,
4:00novelty and surprise. Novelty is
4:04something that you haven't seen or
4:05experienced before, very hard to come up
4:08with. Surprise is something that you
4:10have seen or experienced before, but did
4:13not expect.
4:15And the reason why that still works on
4:16attention is because the difference
4:18between what you expect and what happens
4:20is how the brain learns.
4:22So, biologically speaking, we don't
4:23really like surprises because what is a
4:25surprise but a failure to predict what
4:27happens next? But, we can't afford not
4:29to pay attention to surprises because a
4:31brain that predicts the next step is a
4:34brain that survives a little bit longer.
4:36So, for example, I remember seeing an
4:38image in a presentation that somebody
4:40had created of an eggshell, and out of
4:43it comes this little pug
4:45because you don't expect that. You have
4:46seen the pug before, you have seen an
4:48eggshell before, but not in that
4:50combination. So, as a practical
4:52guideline, wonder, can you look at what
4:54your audiences are looking at and
4:56expecting, and at some point twist the
4:59familiar. And it doesn't have to be as
5:01dramatic as having a dog come out of an
5:03eggshell, but it could be anything
5:04that's slightly surprising. And by
5:07virtue of helping guide people's
5:08attention, does that necessarily mean
5:10that they'll remember it more?
5:12Typically. So, if you can have
5:14attention, you're increasing the chances
5:16of memory. And what is science but the
5:18increased likelihood that that something
5:20is going to happen? Is it going to
5:22happen all the time? Definitely not. And
5:25it's unfortunate because I would love if
5:26100% of attention turned into 100% of
5:29memory, and that is not always the case.
5:32Often, attention is combined with some
5:35stronger emotion, too, because you may
5:37see the pug in the eggshell. Maybe you
5:39don't really care about pugs at all.
5:41You're thinking, "Nah, yeah, whatever."
5:43And those segments are not really all
5:45that easy to come by. Like, I remember a
5:47classic study that was done on a campus,
5:49and somebody had put a clown on a
5:52unicycle.
5:54And they wanted to see how much
5:56attention would that clown on a unicycle
5:58get. And because people were walking
6:00looking at their phones,
6:02maybe a fraction of those paid
6:04attention. Even those who did look
6:07weren't necessarily tuned in to what was
6:08happening. So, even though visually
6:11you're seeing it, you're not really
6:12processing all that fully. So,
6:14therefore, the memory for it is not as
6:16strong. So, imagine I look with humility
6:19at business content because hardly ever
6:21are we in the position to create
6:22something as exciting as a clown on a
6:25unicycle. So, if even that doesn't get
6:27attention, it's very clear that we have
6:29to work hard at it. In the business
6:31context, people are often distracted by
6:33other things. So, so actually just
6:35getting that focus in the first place is
6:37hard. So true. Multitasking and
6:39distractions are quite often the biggest
6:41culprits to attention and therefore
6:43memory. So, in a humbling kind of way,
6:46look at what people are doing, deviate
6:49from the pattern, and a step before that
6:52would be what we call priming. So, get
6:54the brain in a ready state to pay
6:56attention. One of the reasons we may not
6:58observe the clown on a unicycle is
7:00because they're not ready for something
7:02that's a little extra special. So,
7:04priming means getting the brain to
7:05process a stimulus so that the next
7:07stimulus can be processed a little bit
7:09differently. So, if you sacrifice some
7:12of your darlings, let's just say, you're
7:13coming up with some of these surprising
7:15elements, something that's a little bit
7:16more unusual, put those elements right
7:18before something that really has to get
7:21attention and therefore be memorable.
7:23So, don't waste those within a sequence,
7:25place them strategically before points
7:27that really have to get attention.
7:29Really interesting. So, this notion of
7:31priming and and disrupting patterns can
7:34be really powerful. And as somebody who
7:35does what I do, helping people craft
7:38stories, we often talk about the the the
7:40arc or the logic of the story. But what
7:42I hear you is adding something else to
7:43it, which is thinking about where those
7:45things that are most surprising fall and
7:48what you can do beforehand to get people
7:50prepared for them. That adds a whole
7:52'nother dimension, but one that could be
7:54very valuable. Very valuable because
7:56everything has a sequence and if
7:57something happens first and then
7:59something else happens and something
8:00else happens. And I'm noticing in my
8:01neuroscience research quite often, it is
8:04very important to get the brain in a
8:06ready state. Give me an example of
8:08something you could do to prime somebody
8:10for a typical business presentation that
8:13somebody might do. What what might I do
8:14to help? Let's think of some primers.
8:16First, there's some generic ones just so
8:17you can recognize the the power of
8:19priming. So, for instance, let's just
8:21say that I wanted you to process the
8:22word table a little bit easier. If I
8:26said to you the word chair, you'll be a
8:28little bit more ready for the word
8:29table, but if I if I said to you the
8:31word tiger, you would not be all that
8:33ready for the next one.
8:35In business context, let's just say that
8:37you want people to remember the fact
8:38that if they used your services, they
8:41would be prepared for AI, for instance.
8:44You could have a semantic prime. You
8:45could have an emotional prime. A strong
8:48story can be a good primer to an
8:50otherwise abstract message.
8:52>> I'm reminded of a conversation I had
8:53with Robert Cialdini and he talked about
8:55pre-suasion, the things that we can do
8:57in advance to make somebody more likely.
8:59And he gave the example of a mattress
9:01company who on their website had
9:03pictures of clouds.
9:05And the idea was that our beds are very
9:07comfortable and soft. And so, you're
9:09you're priming the brain to think about
9:11that. And and I find this really
9:13fascinating. You argue that the brain is
9:15naturally forgetful.
9:17How can a speaker proactively build
9:19retention moments into their
9:21presentations or communication using
9:23specific, perhaps linguistic or visual
9:25cues to ensure that the most critical
9:27information isn't forgotten? What I'm
9:29noticing in my research, no exception,
9:32is after 48 hours people forget 90% or
9:35more of the content that they're exposed
9:37to. Beyond the fancy environments of it
9:39all, beyond the handwriting of it all,
9:41people naturally forget. We haven't
9:44merged with AI yet. We have human brains
9:47and those brains are fallible.
9:49I'm not so worried about the 90% that is
9:52forgotten. I am worried about the 10%.
9:55Let's consider it a metaphorical number
9:57because sometimes people forget way
9:58more, by the way. Every so often I'm
10:00noticing increase just slightly, not by
10:03much. So, the metaphorical 10% tends to
10:06stay there across time. You need it to
10:08stay there because people make decisions
10:09in your favor based on what they
10:11remember, not on what they forget.
10:13But, what I worry about that 10% is that
10:15it is random unless you take care of it.
10:18What I mean by that is if you present to
10:19a group of 20 people, one person will
10:22take away one 10% message, another one
10:24will take another one, and another one
10:26will take another one. And the reason
10:27sometimes decisions in your favor are
10:29slower is because not everyone walks
10:32away remembering the same things. So,
10:35you're not just after a memory or after
10:37a unified memory across a group.
10:40Decisions are hardly ever individual.
10:42Usually, they're social. So, as a
10:45practical technique, ahead of time,
10:47wonder what is your 10% message. So many
10:50people aspire at attention and memory,
10:54but very few really know what they want
10:56to be memorable for. So, as you're
10:58listening to us have this conversation,
11:00ask the question always, what is my 10%
11:03message? And if you had the courage to
11:05call your audience members in 48 hours
11:07and say, "What do you remember from that
11:09segment?" Would you be satisfied with
11:11their answer? You're only satisfied with
11:13the answer if you know your 10% message.
11:15And then there's no secret, repetition
11:17is the mother of memory. You'll come
11:19back to that message again and again and
11:21again. Like for instance, if we had to
11:23create a 10% message for this show right
11:25now, let's call it control your 10%, and
11:29one criteria then for controlling your
11:3010% is you clarify it and then you
11:33repeat it more often than you think. In
11:36my studies I'm showing that in a
11:375-minute presentation, a repetition of
11:40four times is necessary for you to be in
11:42charge what they take away. 10 minutes,
11:44repetition of at least six times. 20
11:47minutes, at least 12 times. And the
11:50reason I think people are not so
11:51comfortable with repetition is because
11:53they think, "I'm approaching very smart
11:55audiences, especially people in tech,
11:57especially people globally who have
11:59brilliant minds." Even those brilliant
12:01minds still have human brains and their
12:03memory is just as fallible as yours.
12:06Repeat your 10%. This notion of picking
12:09what is your 10% and doubling down and
12:11really focusing on really, really
12:13important. Does that repetition have to
12:16be saying the same thing exactly the
12:18same way or can I say it and then tell a
12:20story that reflects it or use an analogy
12:23that represents it? It does the
12:24repetition have to be the same words to
12:26get the effect?
12:27>> Yes, I like where you're going to in the
12:28sense of you're using some of the
12:30repetition, you're using the analogy.
12:32You can use all of the other techniques
12:33you want as long as once you're done
12:35with those, you come back to the exact
12:37same message. Don't leave it to chance
12:39and don't leave it to them because
12:40especially from a beautiful story,
12:43people can extract so many other
12:44meanings and so many other nuances. So
12:47they can take it in many directions, but
12:48no, we want to come back to the same
12:50main message. Control your 10% for
12:52instance for for our conversation.
12:54>> So you can use a variety of tools for
12:56repetition, but you definitely want to
12:58say the same thing a few times. So if I
13:00have to say it 12 times for a 20-minute
13:02presentation, maybe I actually say the
13:05literal words three or four times, but I
13:07use all these other examples to fit in.
13:08>> You can use the other examples, but come
13:10back 12 times because when you want
13:12people to decide in your favor, they
13:14will use their memory and if you are in
13:16a competitive space and people don't
13:18remember you and the message associated
13:20with you verbatim, what happens is that
13:23you take away gist. And And they take
13:25gist away from you and just from
13:27somebody else, and just from somebody
13:28else, after 48 hours and beyond, people
13:31will not know who said what. And what do
13:33they do? They tend to give credibility
13:35to the more familiar source. And if
13:37you're not the familiar source, that
13:39means you have spent that time creating
13:41somebody else's message, and they take
13:44the credit, and that really hurts.
13:46Absolutely. I want to turn to two things
13:48that are very important in storytelling,
13:50and I'm curious to get your perspective
13:52on how they help us with attention and
13:54memory. The The value of intrigue and
13:57curiosity. These are tools that get
13:59people to to lean in. What are your
14:01thoughts on those, and do you have some
14:03research and and specific advice on how
14:05we can leverage those? It's um an
14:07interesting dimension, especially that
14:09of getting the brain curious. And not an
14:12easy one to reach, because are you
14:14noticing that some people are so jaded,
14:16where whatever you show them is like,
14:18"Eh, another one of those." So, this is
14:21why I'm glad that you have the wonderful
14:23listeners that you're talking about,
14:25because we need people like them to try
14:26a little bit harder to instigate and get
14:29the brain to be just a little bit extra
14:30excited. Obviously, you often rely on
14:33intrinsic motivation, like some people
14:35come to your content, and they're
14:37intrinsically motivated to listen, and
14:40they're curious about things. When they
14:42may not, then you have the
14:43responsibility, can you create some
14:45tension in the brain? What I'm noticing
14:48in my research, time and time again, is
14:50that as we calculate emotions, and from
14:52a neuroscience perspective, we have two
14:54variables that are instrumental to
14:56emotion. What are they? Valence, which
14:58is how much the brain enjoys an
15:00experience. It could be positive or
15:01negative. And arousal, meaning how alert
15:04and awake people are during that
15:06experience. So, picture this as
15:07quadrants now. So, you have valence on a
15:09horizontal axis, you have arousal on a
15:11vertical axis. At these quadrants, you
15:14have these intersections of you're
15:16really amped up, and you like something,
15:18and now you're alert, like you cannot
15:20possibly be nonchalant.
15:21>> What immediately popped into my mind is
15:23listening to a comedian tell jokes. So,
15:25a good stand-up comedian doesn't
15:26necessarily let you relax. Lower right,
15:28now you can relax a bit more, maybe like
15:31reading a book. Lower left, that's
15:32negative valence, but you're not upset.
15:35So, as you're seeing, you're thinking
15:37about these quadrants, know this. Lower
15:39left, negative valence and lower
15:41arousal, that's where boredom settles
15:43in, and that's where memories go to die.
15:47Some people might think that oh should
15:49always have things that are positive,
15:50either that they amp you up or they keep
15:51you more relaxed, but positive
15:53nonetheless. But that's not what I'm
15:55observing. Quite often, attention and
15:56memory are created at the intersection
15:59of negative valence and high arousal.
16:01Now I'm feeling it. Right. I'm a little
16:03anxious about this. There is tension,
16:06and quite often that tension can provoke
16:08some curiosity, which is what you're
16:09asking about. So, I remember we were
16:11doing a presentation about
16:12cybersecurity, and this vendor was
16:14saying, "If you use us, we'll help you
16:16manage IT, information technology, and
16:19OT, operational technology." And in the
16:22presentation, they were saying, "If in
16:24IT, some of your systems get hacked,
16:27data gets stolen,
16:28there's a breach, people lose their
16:30jobs. OT for physical object gets
16:32hacked, people can lose their lives,
16:35because if you hack an an oil rig, for
16:37instance, people can really die." So, we
16:40were just getting like really deep into
16:42this, and even the slides are turning
16:43dark, and you could see like a little
16:45cross with a little bit of blood
16:47dripping off of it. Now you can like
16:49physically see this lean in motion. The
16:51brain is motivated to keep on going a
16:53little bit. So, from a neuroscience
16:55perspective, I think I would equate this
16:57dimension of motivation and leaning into
16:59a system versus withdrawing as a sign of
17:03curiosity. Now, tell me a little bit
17:05more. I'm willing to stay with you for
17:06the next moment over until you get me to
17:09that lower left. You're always just a
17:11click away from lower left. A bit of
17:13tension and friction can help you there.
17:16So, as we think about the stories we
17:18tell, the examples we use, the
17:19testimonials we provide, we should
17:22actually, I think, almost map them on
17:24your 2 by 2 matrix. And as long as they
17:27are arousing in some way,
17:28>> Exactly. and uh the valence isn't as
17:30important, and we can think about how we
17:32can drop those in. And I assume we can't
17:35have too many back-to-back of all the
17:37same kind cuz it can become almost
17:38overwhelming. It's true. It become
17:40overwhelming and you don't want people
17:41to be staying in that upper left for too
17:44long because then it's just really
17:46draining.
17:47But a combination of the three, so upper
17:49left, upper right, and lower right,
17:51those are really good. Every so often
17:53the brain will go into a slight state of
17:55boredom. We can't claim that all of a
17:57sudden just everything is going to be a
17:59an an epiphany. You argue that we often
18:02over-deliver on content, which creates
18:04cognitive overload. What are the key
18:07communication habits a person should
18:09break to reduce the load they put on
18:11their audience and ensure that their
18:12core message is not only received but
18:15understood. So, we we we say more than
18:16we need to, it sounds like.
18:17>> Sometimes we say more than we need to
18:19and it's it's an intriguing concept to
18:22me because here's the good news for
18:23everybody, especially as the world is
18:25getting more complex.
18:26The brain actually synchronizes better
18:28with that which is complex
18:31than that which is simple. Where does
18:32complexity and overload come in? It's
18:35not really complexity that gets us in
18:36trouble, it's randomness. So, really
18:39when we talk about overload, we're
18:41talking about some random bits and
18:42pieces that people go on in and out in
18:45and out in and out without enabling
18:47somebody else's brain to see some
18:49patterns, to see how all of these, as
18:51difficult as they may be, components
18:53come together. So, one practical
18:55technique, especially if we have
18:56technical people who like to geek out
18:58for a moment,
19:00is related to fractals. So, for those
19:02who you may wonder what are fractals,
19:05they are these objects or even parts of
19:07our bodies have those properties.
19:09Objects that have the same properties at
19:11any level of magnification. So, for
19:13instance, if you picture a tree, you
19:15have the trunk, you have the branches,
19:16and if you go to the smallest of the
19:18smallest of the smallest of the branch,
19:20that little branch has the same
19:21properties as the entire big tree. Or if
19:24you go to the grocery store, you see a
19:26head of cauliflower. The entire head of
19:28cauliflower is composed of these tiny
19:31baby heads of cauliflower, and those
19:33baby heads have the same properties as
19:34the entire head. So, it's cauliflower
19:36all the way down. So, as a practical
19:39technique, think about all your content,
19:41anything that you want to share with an
19:42audience, and ask complex or
19:44seemingly overloading as it may be,
19:47wonder what are just some core sets of
19:50properties. That's what would your 10%
19:51message would come in as well. So, that
19:53your entire content is being perceived
19:55as cauliflower all the way down. Because
19:57if you have this core that never
19:59changes, then you can elaborate, then
20:01you can add stories, and you can add
20:03details, you can add your analogies, all
20:05of those beautiful things you mentioned,
20:07but you won't feel overwhelming because
20:09you're coming back to the same core,
20:10you're coming back to the same short set
20:13of rules. So, have a clear through line
20:16that you can connect things to. It can
20:18be so frustrating and difficult to stay
20:20Yeah. focused.
20:21>> Mhm. So, we have to have a clear goal,
20:23clear direction, help our audience see
20:25the patterns of the things we're saying.
20:27See the patterns and just come back
20:28home. So, when we say control your 10%,
20:30come back to that 10% message every so
20:33often to say, "Yeah, we went over here,
20:35and we went over here, went over here,
20:36but overall, everything just condenses
20:38down to this one handful of things." One
20:41of the other things that strikes me that
20:42that 90% does is even though you might
20:45not remember the content, you might
20:47remember the feeling. And so, even if I
20:50only remember 10% of what you say, I
20:52might leave saying, "She was really on
20:54her game and competent." And that can
20:56help me as well. The strong emotions
20:58will definitely help in a competitive
21:00space. Challenge yourself to combine
21:03emotion with some verbatim phrases. You
21:05cannot afford to only operate on
21:08emotions is but just because other
21:09companies will also have their messages
21:11and their emotions. So ideally it's your
21:14combination that makes it through.
21:16Carmen, I knew this was going to be a
21:17fantastic conversation. You did not
21:19disappoint. You've given me so many
21:21tools to think about how I can
21:22communicate so that that I get my 10%
21:25message across and engage audiences
21:27more.
21:32Before we end I like to ask three
21:33questions as you well know. One I create
21:35just for you and the other two are
21:36similar across everybody. Are you up for
21:38this?
21:38>> Sure, sure.
21:39You do a masterful job in your
21:42explanation of being very descriptive,
21:45of using lots of examples. You practice
21:47very well the things that you teach and
21:49have studied. Is that is that something
21:51that you really think through or is that
21:53just natural? And how did you learn to
21:54do that with so little effort?
21:56It's often a combination. Some things
21:59come naturally but some things have to
22:00come a bit more deliberately because in
22:03our practice we help a lot of clients do
22:06the same for their audiences. In our
22:08business as you very well know we have
22:10audiences with audiences. And it's very
22:13easy to start speaking about your own
22:15features and benefits and things that
22:17get you excited at the expense of what
22:20this means to you, the secondary
22:22audience. So it's always a reminder to
22:25put it through their lens. Sit where
22:28they're sitting, wear a few of their
22:30shoes. The customer's shoes would be
22:31even more and more exciting.
22:33I really enjoy also examples because if
22:36I have some good examples and stories
22:38and you're a believer in great stories,
22:40with each time that you speak it's
22:42almost an extra excitement moment for
22:44your own energy. So I'm hoping one of
22:47the practical lessons from this
22:48conversation that we have, as you
22:50control your 10%, is to challenge
22:53yourself to say how can I maintain my
22:55own motivation and have that be up
22:57because people will sense lack of of
23:00energy very quickly. And I remember this
23:03interview with the longest-lasting
23:05Broadway show, The Phantom of the Opera.
23:07>> Oh, okay. Some people think Cats, but
23:08it's actually The Phantom of the Opera.
23:10So, a journalist interviews the person
23:12who has played in the show for so many
23:14years.
23:15And his first question is, "How many
23:17times have you done this role?" 1,764
23:21at the time of the interview. So, this
23:23person had to repeat his own 10% message
23:261,700 times. How do you master that much
23:30repetition? For him was highly sexual
23:32because every 2 weeks he says we get a
23:34new Christine. So, that's what how he
23:36was keeping his own motivation going.
23:39But the lesson for all of us is look for
23:41some small elements. It could be the
23:43stories, it could be the practical
23:44applications, it could be something very
23:46concrete, but something has to keep your
23:48own motivation up. I very much
23:50appreciate that. I I teach very similar
23:52content and have for many years. And
23:53what helps me keep it fresh is reminding
23:55myself that it's new for the other
23:57folks.
23:58>> Yes. And what can I do to help land it
24:00best for them. Question number two, who
24:02is a communicator that you admire and
24:04why? I know we could go for the public
24:06figures, but here's one that's still in
24:08my mind years later. I want to say it's
24:10been at least 5 years. So, picture this.
24:13I'm in Poland. And I'm visiting a salt
24:16mine. So, I'm not a big tour group
24:18person, but the only way to go and visit
24:21the thing is to join a group. And as I'm
24:23here at the entrance, I'm part of maybe
24:2710 12 other people, and there comes a
24:29tour guide. And the first thing she says
24:31is, "Welcome to this 3-hour tour." And I
24:34just want to to just fall over because
24:36I'm thinking, "Not only am I not a tour
24:38group person, but 3 freaking hours of
24:40this thing. There's just no way." And
24:43let me just tell you that she was one of
24:44the most inspiring communicators I had
24:46seen in a long time. I had to go all the
24:49way to a Polish salt mine to find it.
24:52But she applied many of these techniques
24:53that you and I are talking about and you
24:55very likely teach in your classes, the
24:57storytelling was just top-notch. Not
25:00only just was it top-notch in the sense
25:02that stories existed, they were being
25:04said with good inflections and the
25:06timing and the punchlines and the
25:09priming of it all like before a good
25:10story you would already be ready that
25:12something exciting is going to what to
25:14happen. Remember priming the brain and
25:16getting it ready? So, I think we can
25:18find inspiration from so many people
25:20like next time maybe you go to
25:21Starbucks, pay attention to how that
25:24person might have a story and and tell
25:26it because they could be a good
25:27communicator that can inspire you.
25:30I love finding great communicators in
25:33average places. There was a gentleman
25:36who ran a barbecue next to a car wash I
25:38used to go to and he was one of the best
25:41storytellers I've ever heard and I would
25:44just I I would wash my car a lot because
25:46I just like connecting with him.
25:48Final question. What are the first three
25:50ingredients that go into a successful
25:52communication recipe? Ooh, so the three
25:55ingredients would be tied by the one
25:57main message, control your 10%.
26:00Underneath that, what would be the
26:01ingredients? Make sure you clarify it.
26:04If you know what your 10% message is,
26:06your audience is also more likely to
26:08know. Nebulous to you, nebulous to them.
26:11Number two, we are talking about the
26:14element of surprise. Associate some of
26:16your messages, supporting points for
26:18your 10% message with something that
26:19jolts the brain out of its habituation.
26:22And number three, there is no secret,
26:24repetition is the mother of memory. Come
26:27back to that 10% often, more often than
26:30you feel comfortable with and that's how
26:32you are deliberate about your 10%
26:34message and you do not leave it to
26:36chance. Clarify, surprise, repeat.
26:39>> Yes. And in that you will really deliver
26:42on your 10% message and make your
26:44message more memorable. And Carmen, our
26:46time together, I hope will live in the
26:49memories of all of our listeners,
26:51certainly etched in my memory. Thank you
26:53for your time and I'm super glad we
26:54finally got to do this.
26:55>> Thank you so much everyone.
27:07>> [music]

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