#rodneydangerfield #on #fire #thisnight #rotfl — Transcript

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1. 0:00Go on, baby. All right.
2. 0:01>> You didn't wear yourself out there, DID
3. 0:02YOU?
4. 0:04>> NOBODY EVER KNOWS WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO
5. 0:05END. YOU JUST WHEN YOU WHEN YOU FEEL the
6. 0:06mood, you you you stop.
7. 0:07>> guy, you know that.
8. 0:08>> So are you.
9. 0:10How you been? Good to see you again.
10. 0:11>> I'm doing all right. Yeah, long time, I
11. 0:13know. Well,
12. 0:14I don't want to overdo my welcome, you
13. 0:16know.
14. 0:16>> [laughter]
15. 0:17>> I've been knocking around, you know.
16. 0:21>> Now, do you consider yourself an
17. 0:22outstanding comedian or a big movie
18. 0:23star?
19. 0:24>> I don't know what I am.
20. 0:26>> [laughter]
21. 0:28[cheering]
22. 0:29>> I'm still trying to find the right
23. 0:30woman. Are you kidding?
24. 0:31>> Really?
25. 0:31>> Love, love. I'm looking for love is
26. 0:33tough, Johnny. Tough to find a right
27. 0:34woman. You kidding?
28. 0:35>> Yeah.
29. 0:35>> And love, what is love? Love is an
30. 0:37extension of like.
31. 0:39And lust, lust is an extension.
32. 0:44>> [cheering]
33. 0:47>> No, it's tough to find a woman, Johnny.
34. 0:48It's tough. I'm lonely, lonely. You have
35. 0:50no idea.
36. 0:51>> Oh, you have no idea how lonely I am.
37. 0:56>> [cheering]
38. 0:57>> How lonely?
39. 0:58I'm so lonely the other day in traffic,
40. 1:00a guy gave me the finger and I enjoyed
41. 1:02it.
42. 1:06A lonely guy.
43. 1:07>> A lonely guy. [applause and cheering]
44. 1:08>> Yeah.
45. 1:10Uh it's tough to find a woman, Johnny.
46. 1:11It's tough, you know. Got to get a woman
47. 1:13you can trust. Trust is the whole thing.
48. 1:15>> You bet you.
49. 1:15>> I was going one girl for a while. I
50. 1:16trusted her, she let me down.
51. 1:18>> Oh.
52. 1:18>> Now, what happened was, you know, she
53. 1:19ran away with my best friend.
54. 1:21>> Oh.
55. 1:21>> Now, I GOT NO DOG.
56. 1:23>> [laughter]
57. 1:30>> NOW, I'LL TELL YOU.
58. 1:30>> LIFE IS NOT EASY.
59. 1:31>> IT'S not easy, Johnny. Not easy at all.
60. 1:33You kidding? You kidding? Love, love.
61. 1:35But I'll tell you one thing, with girls
62. 1:36I can hold my own.
63. 1:37>> Really?
64. 1:38>> Which is usually what they tell ME TO
65. 1:39DO.
66. 1:40>> [laughter]
67. 1:45>> UH JOHNNY, I'LL TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I
68. 1:47GOT NO SEX LIFE. I'M getting old, old,
69. 1:48old. You kidding? And when I say it's
70. 1:50down 40 degrees, I'm not talking about
71. 1:52the weather.
72. 1:53>> [laughter]
73. 1:55>> Things are that bad, huh?
74. 1:56>> Uh it's all over, Johnny. I got sex. I
75. 1:58went to a nude beach. They told me to
76. 1:59park in a handicap SECTION OF THE
77. 2:01>> [laughter]
78. 2:04[cheering]
79. 2:07>> YOU KNOW, I'M GETTING OLD, OLD. YOU
80. 2:08KNOW, I walked into a sperm bank. They
81. 2:09thought it was a hold up, I mean I
82. 2:15Uh, Johnny, you get older.
83. 2:16>> Yeah.
84. 2:17>> Your body falls apart part of your body
85. 2:19collapses getting old. Your body
86. 2:20deteriorates.
87. 2:21>> Yeah.
88. 2:22>> Like right now