Rebel Wilson's TOP MOMENTS! | Thank God You're Here — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:00soon you will be the Crown Princess but
2. 0:02there is one thing that we must do
3. 0:04before we can be
4. 0:05married bikini
5. 0:09wax no no we must meet my parents oh
6. 0:15right your majesty the king and queen
7. 0:17have arrived excellent excellent send
8. 0:20them in send them in yeah now do you
9. 0:22remember the one thing you have to say
10. 0:23to my father when you first meet him
11. 0:26good a no uh you must call him your
12. 0:28highness uh all right yeah and what is
13. 0:31the one thing you must never do in front
14. 0:33of the queen smoke
15. 0:38crack oh here they come now remember
16. 0:40when you first meet them do your best
17. 0:41Royal courtesy mama papa I would like
18. 0:45you both to meet
19. 0:58Charlene charene
20. 1:00our son has told us a great deal about
21. 1:02you a he just told me about you your
22. 1:04highness I have heard that you come from
23. 1:07one of Australia's most beautiful and uh
24. 1:09sophisticated cities I do
25. 1:14batist so uh uh how come my dear you
26. 1:18came to meet our son well do you
27. 1:20remember what it is that first attracted
28. 1:22me to
29. 1:24you yes no no
30. 1:29[Applause]
31. 1:31you remember Dario and
32. 1:37Luka BR y y
33. 1:42a I remember you guys well actually it's
34. 1:45a bit
35. 1:46hazy we are certainly not used to
36. 1:48greetings like that at home no really
37. 1:51how do men in Australia greet the
38. 1:53beautiful woman mostly they drive past
39. 1:57and go H you bush pig
40. 2:05and then and then I say wait I've got
41. 2:08something for
42. 2:14[Applause]
43. 2:15you so so I really like Italian men um
44. 2:21you guys are Italian see what you were
45. 2:24just saying before about Italian men
46. 2:26they are so they got czy hair that's
47. 2:31oh no
48. 2:33um they're Italian
49. 2:37Stallion tell us a little about your
50. 2:40city you know where where you come from
51. 2:41if we were to visit La Australia what
52. 2:43cultural sites would you
53. 2:46recommend um well Pizza are
54. 2:50hot um there's also a lot of um hotted
55. 2:53up cars that you might like um they're
56. 2:57like some like bounce
57. 3:00um you might be doing a bit of that
58. 3:08later oh she's like totally holding my
59. 3:11hand sit me second base
60. 3:15already are all the women in Australia
61. 3:18as beautiful as you most of them are a
62. 3:21bit
63. 3:23skinnier but you're just totally staring
64. 3:26into my eyes and you're very beautiful I
65. 3:29think I'm like going to
66. 3:33[Applause]
67. 3:40faint things are
68. 3:42[Applause]
69. 3:49[Applause]
70. 3:52up where the hell have you been we we've
71. 3:54only got half an hour a week I was just
72. 3:56getting my rings
73. 3:58done um poly
74. 4:00yeah I'm sorry sweetheart I'm just a bit
75. 4:02tense you know how the kids doing yeah
76. 4:05good good they keep asking questions
77. 4:08about you in the shower and does
78. 4:10anything
79. 4:10happen um I'm not quite sure what to say
80. 4:15they don't need to know tell tell me
81. 4:16about Jess what's she been up to oh Jess
82. 4:19is um pole
83. 4:22dancing why would my German Shepherd be
84. 4:25called
85. 4:26out I just think it comes naturally to
86. 4:29to
87. 4:31her God 25 years non parole do you know
88. 4:36the only thing that's keeping me sane in
89. 4:37this place do you know what it is the
90. 4:39men in the
91. 4:40showers no it's not the bloody men it's
92. 4:43it's the last thing you said to me when
93. 4:44I came in here say it again let me hear
94. 4:47it one more
95. 4:48time we go together like
96. 4:53[Music]
97. 4:56[Applause]
98. 4:58CH you you also said you'd Stick by Me
99. 5:02Now I know this can't be easy for you
100. 5:03being at home have been totally faithful
101. 5:05though to you the whole time you
102. 5:08remember what I said would happen if if
103. 5:09I ever found you cheating on me yeah um
104. 5:13you'd make me roll Escape for 300 kmet
105. 5:16in a bikini for everyone to see at the
106. 5:21roller skating rink when I arrived
107. 5:23there so you are which scares me to
108. 5:26death roller skating is hard so
109. 5:32can you guess what I did last night is
110. 5:35this about showers no it's nothing to do
111. 5:38with oh Mom thank God are you okay the
112. 5:41front door was wide open why' you leave
113. 5:43the house without locking the door let
114. 5:45me take those is this my house yes Mom
115. 5:48sit down mom take a SE how's the
116. 5:50community center Mom I heard the you
117. 5:52stop playing lawn balls now what are you
118. 5:54playing um strip poker it's much more
119. 5:58entertaining mom I just had a look in
120. 6:00the bags there I could see you got kitty
121. 6:02litter have you gone out and gotten
122. 6:03another stray cat off the street yes I
123. 6:06have because I like putting them in the
124. 6:08microwave and it's a bit of
125. 6:11entertainment when the fox tail goes
126. 6:13down what else am I supposed to do it's
127. 6:16all we love you Kevin I just want to
128. 6:18have a little chat
129. 6:20yeah I don't like like that tone you
130. 6:23have there look you promised us to eat
131. 6:25properly now if I was go to the fridge
132. 6:27right now and open that door what would
133. 6:28I find in there Mom you would find
134. 6:30healthy food mom I'll tell you what we
135. 6:33found we found two casks of wine and and
136. 6:35a box of timtams how is that a balanced
137. 6:38diet well there's liquid and
138. 6:42solids
139. 6:46see you know there's supposed to be
140. 6:48somebody else in the house right now
141. 6:49don't you the
142. 6:51ghost Mrs mcneel the day nurse we
143. 6:54organized to take care of you well she
144. 6:56was a and I had to let her go
145. 7:00good riddance I
146. 7:04say wasn't into any role
147. 7:09playing Mom it sounds like you've
148. 7:11already gone ahead and got yourself your
149. 7:13own day nurse already
150. 7:19Steve Stevie give us a kiss
151. 7:25love he's a good boy this with the
152. 7:27Snapper precisely what qualification
153. 7:29does this gentleman have Mom this
154. 7:33one and this
155. 7:40one I am very happy well I've I've fed
156. 7:44the cats anything else you want from me
157. 7:47um
158. 7:48well think I need a
159. 7:51SpongeBob well I'll be in the bedroom
160. 7:54yeah I'll be in the bedroom too
161. 7:59St
162. 8:03[Music]