R. Kelly Interview Cold Open - SNL — Transcript

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1. 0:09[ APPLAUSE ] >>> YOU'RE WATCHING A CBS NEWS
2. 0:11SPECIAL. I AM YOUR HOST, GAYLE KING.
3. 0:13AND THIS IS PART THREE OF MY INTERVIEW WITH R & B STAR ROBERT
4. 0:19KELLEY. ALSO KNOWN AS R. KELLY.
5. 0:22ALSO KNOWN AS INDIVIDUAL WHO NUMBER ONE'S.
6. 0:25THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE ROBERT. >> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME AND
7. 0:29PLEASE JUST CALL ME VICTIM. >> I AM NOT GOING TO DO THAT.
8. 0:32I GUESS MY FIRST QUESTION FOR YOU, ROBERT IS, WHY EXACTLY ARE
9. 0:37YOU DOING THIS INTERVIEW? >> BECAUSE PEOPLE THINK I'M SOME
10. 0:40KIND OF A MONSTER. I'M HERE TO REMOVE ALL OF THAT.
11. 0:43MY LAWYER WAS TELLING ME NO. BUT MY EGO.
12. 0:48MY EGO WAS TELLING ME YES. >> ROBERT.
13. 0:52>> PLEASE CALL ME VICTIM. >> NO.
14. 0:55TELL ME SOME OF THE THINGS THAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT YOU?
15. 0:57>> THAT I HAVE A HAREM OF YOUNG GIRLS AND I STARTED A -- WHAT'S
16. 1:03THE WORD? IT STARTS WITH A Q.
17. 1:05>> YOU MEAN CULT? >> YEAH, THAT'S IT.
18. 1:07>> RIGHT, AND WHY DO YOU THINK PEOPLE ARE SAYING THAT ABOUT
19. 1:10YOU? >> PROBABLY BECAUSE IT LOOKS
20. 1:12LIKE I HAVE A HAREM OF YOUNG GIRLS AND I STARTED A CULT.
21. 1:20LOOK, I MADE A LOT OF MISTAKES IN MY LIFE, MAYBE I CAN'T READ
22. 1:25OR WRITE OR MATH. I'M STILL A PERSON.
23. 1:28I PUT ON MY PANTS ONE SLEEVE AT A TIME JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE.
24. 1:32>> WHAT ABOUT THE LIFETIME DOCUSERIES THAT INTERVIEWED
25. 1:37NUMEROUS WOMEN, FAMILY MEMBERS AND YOUR FORMER TOUR MANAGER,
26. 1:41ALL SAYING THE SAME THINGS. >> IT'S 10:00 IN THE MORNING.
27. 1:47AND I'M TALKING TO OPRAH'S FRIEND.
28. 1:50♪ IF I CAN JUST GET THROUGH THIS, EVERYBODY'S GONNA LOVE ME
29. 1:55AGAIN ♪ >> ROBERT.
30. 1:56THE DOCU-SERIES. >> OH, RIGHT.
31. 2:00THESE PEOPLE MADE A SIX-PART DOCUMENTARY ABOUT ME, SIX.
32. 2:06THAT'S ALMOST TEN. AND NOT ONE OF THEM SAID A NICE
33. 2:08THING ABOUT ME. THEY MADE IT SEEM LIKE I WAS THE
34. 2:12DEVIL. I'M NOT THE DEVIL.
35. 2:14AND EVEN IF I WAS, YOU CAN'T THINK OF ONE NICE THING TO SAY
36. 2:17ABOUT THE DEVIL? [ LAUGHTER ]
37. 2:19I CAN. NICE HORNS.
38. 2:20GIVES GOOD ADVICE. >> SO WHY DO YOU THINK PEOPLE
39. 2:28ARE MAKING THESE LIES UP ABOUT YOU?
40. 2:30>> FOR MONEY, OBVIOUSLY. I'M A VERY RICH MAN.
41. 2:33AND PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS TRYING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME.
42. 2:35>> WELL, IF YOU'RE SO RICH, WHY DID IT TAKE SO LONG TO PAY
43. 2:40160,000 YOU OWE BACK IN CHILD SUPPORT?
44. 2:46♪ DAMN, THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION I WASN'T EXPECTING THAT ♪
45. 2:51♪ NOW I HAVE TO SWITCH DIRECTIONS AND GET SOME SYMPATHY
46. 2:56BACK ♪ >> BECAUSE I'M A VERY POOR MAN.
47. 3:03>> BUT ROBERT. >> VICTIM.
48. 3:04>> NO. YOU SOLD MILLIONS OF RECORDS AND
49. 3:06MADE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS. >> MORE THAN MILLIONS,
50. 3:09THOUSANDS. >> MILLIONS IS MORE THAN
51. 3:14THOUSANDS, ROBERT. >> OKAY, MY BAD.
52. 3:18>> SO WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE MONEY?
53. 3:20>> I DON'T KNOW. ASK MY -- WHO'S THE GUY YOU PAY
54. 3:23TO WATCH ALL YOUR MONEY? IT STARTS WITH A Q.
55. 3:27>> YOUR ACCOUNTANT? >> NO, MY COUSIN REGGIE, THAT'S
56. 3:32IT. YOU KNOW WHAT, THIS IS ALL GREAT
57. 3:35STUFF. BUT MAYBE WE SHOULD SAVE SOME OF
58. 3:37IT FOR THE INTERVIEW. >> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
59. 3:39THIS IS THE INTERVIEW. >> FOR REAL?
60. 3:43THEN WHERE ARE THE CAMERAS. >> THERE'S LITERALLY ONE RIGHT
61. 3:46IN FRONT OF YOU. >> YOU ALL JUST KEEP YOUR CAMERA
62. 3:50OUT IN THE OPEN LIKE THAT? Y'ALL SOME FREAKS?
63. 3:55>> JUST TELL ME WHY ALL THOSE WOMEN WOULD SAY THE SAME THINGS
64. 3:58ABOUT YOU IF THEY WEREN'T TRUE? >> YOU CAN START A RUMOR ABOUT
65. 4:02ANY CELEBRITY JUST LIKE THAT. ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS PUSH A
66. 4:05BUTTON ON YOUR PHONE AND SAY R. KELLY DID THIS TO ME.
67. 4:09AND THEN ATTACH A VIDEO OF ME DOING THAT THING, AND PEOPLE
68. 4:14WILL BELIEVE YOU. IT'S SCARY.
69. 4:16[ LAUGHTER ] >> I REALLY WANT TO LAUGH RIGHT
70. 4:19NOW. BUT I CAN'T TELL IF THIS
71. 4:21INTERVIEW IS A PRANK ON YOU OR A PRANK ON ME.
72. 4:25♪ THIS INTERVIEW IS GOING GREAT ♪
73. 4:28♪ OPRAH'S FRIEND THINKS I'M INNOCENT ♪
74. 4:32>> ROBERT. ♪ I SHOULD BE A LAWYER OR MAYBE
75. 4:34I SHOULD RUN FOR PRESIDENT ♪ >> STOP SINGING.
76. 4:38>> OH, YOU CAN HEAR THAT? [ LAUGHTER ]
77. 4:40>> YES, YES. NOW, TELL ME WHY WERE YOU
78. 4:44HANGING OUT AT McDONALD'S? >> OKAY, FIRST OF ALL, I DID NOT
79. 4:48GO TO A McDONALD'S. >> BOY, WE SAW YOU AT
80. 4:51McDONALD'S. >> OKAY, FINE, I LOVE
81. 4:52McDONALD'S. IT'S MY FAVORITE RESTAURANT IN
82. 4:56THE WORLD. THEY GOT THAT BURGER THAT I
83. 4:58LIKE, WHAT'S IT CALLED? STARTS WITH A Q.
84. 5:02>> BIG MACS? >> YEAH, THAT'S IT.
85. 5:05>> LOOK, I'M JUST GOING TO ASK YOU PLAINLY, HAVE YOU EVER HELD
86. 5:11WOMEN AGAINST THEIR WILL? >> WHY WOULD I DO THAT?
87. 5:12THAT WOULD BE STUPID. HOW STUPID WOULD IT BE FOR ME,
88. 5:17R. KELLY, WITH ALL THE CRAZY LEGAL THINGS I'VE DONE IN MY
89. 5:20PAST, ON TAPE AND GOTTEN AWAY WITH, SCOTT FREE, TO DO IT
90. 5:27AGAIN? HOW STUPID DO YOU THINK I AM?
91. 5:30IS THIS A CAMERA? >> NO, NO.
92. 5:31THAT'S A PLANT. >> OKAY, GUYS, THINK FOR A
93. 5:38MINUTE. USE YOUR BRAINS.
94. 5:39WHY WOULD I DO THESE THINGS? FOR 30 YEARS.
95. 5:47I GAVE Y'ALL TRAPPED IN THE CLOSET.
96. 5:50FEELING ON YOUR BOOTY. AGE AIN'T NOTHING BUT A NUMBER.
97. 5:54AND SO MANY OTHER CLUES. >> ROBERT.
98. 5:58>> AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME? >> ROBERT.
99. 6:00>> I DON'T HAVE ANYBODY LEFT IN MY CORNER.
100. 6:0630 YEARS. >> OKAY BROTHER, OKAY.
101. 6:10>> WHO THE HELL IS THIS? >> THIS IS MY CRISIS MANAGER.
102. 6:16HOW AM I DOING? >> YOU DOING REALLY GOOD.
103. 6:19>> DO I LOOK GOOD. >> OH, MAN, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU
104. 6:23YELL AT THAT LADY. WE'RE COMING DOWN THE HOME
105. 6:27STRETCH. CRISIS AVERTED.
106. 6:28>> OKAY, I AM READY TO START THE INTERVIEW.
107. 6:31>> THE INTERVIEW IS OVER. >> OH.
108. 6:35>> ROBERT, YOU'VE BEEN COMBATIVE, DEFENSIVE AND
109. 6:39COMPLETELY UNHINGED. BUT SOMEHOW YOU EXPECT US TO
110. 6:41BELIEVE YOU'RE COMPLETELY INNOCENT.
111. 6:44>> THAT WOULD BE IDEAL, YES. >> AND NOW I HUMBLING AWAIT YOUR
112. 6:51DECISION, MISS JAIL KING. >> MY NAME IS GAYLE KING WITH A
113. 6:54G. >> SO YOU'RE NOT THE JAIL KING?
114. 6:57THEN WHAT AM I DOING HERE? >> BOY, YOU ARE NOT RIGHT.
115. 7:00>> SO YOU THINK I MADE THINGS WORSE?
116. 7:02>> YES, YOU DEFINITELY MADE THEM WORSE.
117. 7:06>> SCALE OF 1 TO 10, HOW MUCH WORSE?
118. 7:06>> 13. >> SO IS THAT THE HIGHEST?
119. 7:09OKAY, FINE. I GUESS THERE'S ONLY ONE THING
120. 7:12LEFT TO SAY, JAIL KING. LIVE FROM --
121. 7:18>> IT'S OVER, FOOL. RIGHT HERE.
122. 7:22LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT