Psychology of People Who Always Push In Their Chairs When Leaving — Transcript

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1. 0:00You know that person. The meeting ends,
2. 0:02everyone bolts for the door, and they
3. 0:04pause, turn around, and slide their
4. 0:07chair back under the table. Nobody asked
5. 0:09them to. Nobody's watching. And nobody
6. 0:12will ever say thank you. So, why do they
7. 0:14do it? And what does it say about them?
8. 0:17Today, we're breaking down the
9. 0:18psychology of people who always push
10. 0:21their chairs in. First, a disclaimer.
11. 0:24There is no famous study called chair
12. 0:26pushing and personality. If a video
13. 0:28tells you there is, it's making it up.
14. 0:31But psychology has plenty to say about
15. 0:33the type of behavior this is, small,
16. 0:35automatic, unrewarded acts of tidiness
17. 0:38and consideration.
18. 0:39And when you look at the research on
19. 0:41those, three explanations keep coming
20. 0:43up. Let's go through them. Reason one,
21. 0:46conscientiousness.
22. 0:47The most widely used personality model
23. 0:49is called the Big Five, openness,
24. 0:52conscientiousness, extraversion,
25. 0:54agreeableness, and neuroticism.
26. 0:57Conscientiousness is the trait tied to
27. 0:59organization, self-discipline, and
28. 1:01attention to detail. And people who
29. 1:03score high on it tend to have one thing
30. 1:05in common. They like to leave a space
31. 1:07the way they'd want to find it. For
32. 1:08them, a chair left sticking out isn't
33. 1:11neutral.
34. 1:12It's a tiny unfinished task sitting in
35. 1:14the corner of their brain. Pushing it in
36. 1:17closes the loop. And notice how cheap
37. 1:19that fix is. It takes 2 seconds.
38. 1:22There's almost no cost, and you get a
39. 1:24small hit of done. That's why it's so
40. 1:26easy to repeat. Now, this isn't about
41. 1:28being a perfectionist.
42. 1:30It's just a mild discomfort with loose
43. 1:32ends, resolved the fastest way possible.
44. 1:35Reason two, the next person mindset. The
45. 1:37second explanation has less to do with
46. 1:39order and more to do with empathy.
47. 1:42A lot of chair pushers are, without even
48. 1:44realizing it, picturing whoever comes
49. 1:46next. The cleaner, the team that has the
50. 1:49room after yours, the server trying to
51. 1:51squeeze past with a full tray.
52. 1:54Psychologists call this prosocial
53. 1:56behavior, actions that benefit other
54. 1:58people at a small cost to you. And
55. 2:00what's interesting about this one is
56. 2:02that it's nearly invisible. No audience.
57. 2:05No credit.
58. 2:06No reward. That's why many people feel
59. 2:09it says something about character.
60. 2:11Anyone can be kind when it's seen. What
61. 2:13you do when nobody's keeping score is a
62. 2:15different kind of information.
63. 2:17Of course, I'm not saying people who
64. 2:19leave chairs out are bad people. They're
65. 2:21usually just not picturing the next
66. 2:23person. Their mind is already on the
67. 2:25next meeting, the commute, or lunch.
68. 2:28Reason three, habit and upbringing. Now
69. 2:31for the least dramatic explanation, and
70. 2:33probably the most common one. A lot of
71. 2:35chair pushers aren't thinking about any
72. 2:37of this. They're running a habit.
73. 2:40Habits work like this. A cue triggers a
74. 2:42routine, and the routine gives a small
75. 2:44reward. Repeat it enough times, and it
76. 2:47moves to autopilot. You're no longer
77. 2:49deciding. Your body just does it. And
78. 2:52where do those habits come from? Often
79. 2:54childhood.
80. 2:55If you grew up with a parent saying,
81. 2:57"Push your chair in at every single
82. 2:58meal." You may now do it in restaurants
83. 3:01you've never visited, at tables that
84. 3:02aren't yours, with zero conscious
85. 3:04thought.
86. 3:05Culture plays a role, too. In some homes
87. 3:08and countries, it's basic table manners.
88. 3:10In others, no one would ever notice a
89. 3:12chair left out. So, sometimes this isn't
90. 3:15a personality trait at all.
91. 3:17It's just the house you grew up in.
92. 3:19There's one more angle, and it comes
93. 3:21from a famous experiment. In 2008,
94. 3:24researchers led by Kees Keizer published
95. 3:26a study in the journal Science.
96. 3:28They found that people were more likely
97. 3:30to break rules, like littering, when
98. 3:32they were surrounded by signs of
99. 3:34disorder, like graffiti. The idea is
100. 3:36that environment sends signals.
101. 3:39A tidy space says, "People care here." A
102. 3:41messy one says, "Nobody's watching." So,
103. 3:44when someone tucks in a chair, they may
104. 3:46be quietly reinforcing a norm. This is a
105. 3:48place we look after.
106. 3:50Is one chair going to change the world?
107. 3:52No, but small cues add up and they shape
108. 3:55the tone of a room more than we realize.
109. 3:58One caution before we wrap up, tidiness
110. 4:00is a normal trait, but if the urge to
111. 4:02arrange things comes with intense
112. 4:04anxiety, feels impossible to resist, or
113. 4:07starts taking up big chunks of your day,
114. 4:09that can be a sign of something like
115. 4:11obsessive-compulsive disorder,
116. 4:13and it's worth talking to a
117. 4:14professional. For most chair pushers,
118. 4:16though, it's nothing like that. It's
119. 4:19calm, quick, and automatic. So, what
120. 4:22does pushing your chair in say about
121. 4:23you? Maybe you're conscientious. Maybe
122. 4:26you think about the next person. Maybe a
123. 4:28parent said it a thousand times. Most
124. 4:30likely, it's a mix of all three.
125. 4:33But, I like what it represents. How we
126. 4:35treat shared spaces, when there's no
127. 4:37audience and no reward, is a quiet
128. 4:39little window into how we move through
129. 4:41the world.
130. 4:42Now, I want to know, are you a chair
131. 4:44pusher or a chair leaver? And is there
132. 4:46someone in your life who drives you
133. 4:48crazy about it? Tell me in the comments.
134. 4:50If you enjoyed this, subscribe, and I'll
135. 4:53see you in the next one.