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POV Why Does Everyone in America Seem Rich… Except You? — Transcript

by Money & Earl · 3,577 words · 532 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00It's 6:30 on a Saturday afternoon. Walk
0:02out of the mall with a couple of
0:03shopping bags in your hands heading
0:05toward your car. And as you cross the
0:07parking lot, you start noticing things.
0:09A black Cadillac Escalade that looks
0:11like it costs more than your first
0:12house. A dark gray BMW X5 that looks
0:15fast even when it's standing still. A
0:18Porsche Panamera pulling into the space
0:20next to your old car. And a black Range
0:22Rover Sport near the entrance. Like it
0:24belongs in a completely different world.
0:26You press the button on your key fob.
0:27There it is. Your 2015 Honda Accord.
0:30165,000
0:32mi on the odometer. A few scratches
0:34along the side, faded paint. Nothing
0:36fancy, nothing new. But it runs, it's
0:38paid off, and it gets you where you need
0:40to go. You're 36 years old. You work
0:42full-time. You make around $72,000 a
0:44year before taxes. You pay your bills,
0:47you work hard, and you try to put some
0:48money aside whenever you can. You're not
0:50broke, but standing in that parking lot
0:53looking at all those expensive vehicles,
0:55you start wondering something. How does
0:56everyone else seem to afford these cars?
0:59Are they making that much more money
1:00than you? Did you miss something? Or are
1:02you the only one who's still trying to
1:04figure it all out? You open your car
1:06door, slide into the driver's seat, and
1:08look around one more time before
1:10starting the engine. And for a moment,
1:11your old Accord doesn't feel like a
1:13reliable car you've already paid for. It
1:15feels like proof that everyone else is
1:17moving forward and you're falling
1:19behind. What you don't know yet is that
1:22a few weeks from now, a conversation
1:24with your friend Derek at a backyard
1:25barbecue will completely change the way
1:27you see those cars. But that comes
1:29later. Because there's something a mall
1:31parking lot will never show you. You can
1:33see somebody else's car. You can't see
1:35their bank account. You can see the
1:36keys, you can't see the payments. You
1:39can watch someone pull up to a family
1:41gathering in a brand new SUV. You can't
1:43see how much of their paycheck is
1:45already spoken for before it even
1:46arrives. And deep down, you know that.
1:49But knowing it doesn't stop the
1:51comparison from hurting. Everyone seems
1:53to be moving forward. Derek has been
1:55your friend for years. Generous. Funny.
1:58The kind of friend who offers to pick up
1:59the first round without making a big
2:01deal out of it. A few weeks after that
2:03Saturday at the mall, Derek invites you
2:05and your family over for a backyard
2:07barbecue. But before that Friday evening
2:09arrives, something happens that makes
2:11the whole thing feel even more personal.
2:14You see Derek's new car for the first
2:16time at a family gathering. A brand new
2:18black Range Rover Sport. Dark paint,
2:21black wheels, the kind of car that makes
2:23people stop talking for a second when it
2:25pulls into the driveway. He gets out
2:26smiling holding his keys. And just like
2:29that, the attention shifts. People walk
2:31around the car. Someone asks how much it
2:33costs. Another person wants to see the
2:35interior. Your friend is standing there
2:37enjoying every second of it. You do what
2:40any friend would do. Man, that thing
2:41looks incredible. You must be doing
2:43pretty well. Derek laughs. Yeah, I'm
2:46finally treating myself. That night, he
2:48posts a picture on Instagram. Derek
2:50standing beside the Range Rover, keys in
2:52his hand, the car perfectly framed
2:54behind him. The caption says, "Finally
2:56made it." Hundreds of likes follow. You
2:58give him one, too, because you're happy
3:00for him. But if you're being honest,
3:02there's another feeling underneath that
3:04happiness. For everyone looking from the
3:05outside, the conclusion seems obvious.
3:08Derek is doing great. And you? You're
3:10still driving the same Honda you bought
3:12years ago. On the drive home, your wife
3:14Emily looks out the window while your
3:16son Jake sits in the back distracted by
3:18his phone. Then your son looks up. Dad,
3:20Derek's car is so much cooler than ours.
3:23Nobody says anything, and the silence
3:25lasts almost all the way home. If you've
3:28ever left a family gathering feeling
3:30like everyone else is doing better than
3:31you, you know exactly what that silence
3:34feels like. And if this sounds familiar,
3:36stick around because what happens at
3:37that barbecue is going to change the way
3:40you think about all of it. The following
3:42week, you start noticing everything.
3:44Your neighbor gets a brand new hybrid
3:46SUV. At school pick up, parents pull up
3:48in expensive SUVs one after another. At
3:51work, your co-workers talk about their
3:53new cars, their upgrades, and the
3:55monthly payments they say they can
3:57easily afford. At Sunday dinner, your
3:59brother-in-law explains that he switched
4:01to a hybrid because the payment is
4:02barely more than what he used to spend
4:04on gas. Everybody nods. Your
4:06mother-in-law asks when you're finally
4:08going to replace the Honda. In the
4:09parents group chat, somebody posts
4:11pictures from a ski trip to Colorado.
4:13Someone else shares a cruise. Another
4:15family uploads pictures from a resort
4:17with a swimming pool and a view of the
4:19ocean. Nobody posts the credit card
4:21bill. At night, you sit on the couch and
4:23look at cars on your phone, just
4:25looking. The next day, your feed is full
4:27of luxury SUVs, financing offers, and
4:30advertisements promising that a new car
4:32is more affordable than you think. And a
4:34new question starts to bother you. What
4:36if you're the one who's doing something
4:38wrong? One evening, while you're
4:40cleaning up the kitchen, Emily asks you
4:41something without judgment. Don't you
4:43think it's time we replace the Honda?
4:45She says it kindly, and you don't
4:46immediately say no, because a part of
4:48you has been thinking exactly the same
4:50thing. But there's a cruel rule you
4:52begin to recognize. There's always
4:54somebody with a better car. You replace
4:56your Honda with a used SUV, and suddenly
4:59you're comparing yourself to the people
5:00driving BMWs. You buy a BMW, and someone
5:03pulls up beside you in a Porsche. You
5:05finally get the Porsche, and the next
5:07parking lot has an Escalade you never
5:09even considered. The comparison has no
5:12finish line. It only has another level.
5:14And even though you understand that,
5:16every time you pull into a parking lot,
5:18the feeling returns. Everybody seems to
5:20be moving forward, except you. You spend
5:222 weeks estimating what the cars passing
5:25you on the highway must cost, and
5:26staying quiet whenever the conversation
5:28turns to money, until Friday night. The
5:30night Derek tells you something you
5:32never would have guessed just by looking
5:34at his car. The barbecue. It's a Friday
5:36evening in May. You're at Derek's house
5:38with Emily. Derek's wife is there, too,
5:41along with a few friends. The grill is
5:42going in the backyard. Burgers and hot
5:44dogs are cooking. Someone has brought a
5:46cooler full of drinks. The kids are
5:48running around while the adults sit
5:50outside talking about work, vacations,
5:52and the usual things people talk about
5:54when the weekend finally arrives. And
5:56parked in the driveway is that black
5:58Range Rover. You can see it every time
6:00somebody walks inside. After a couple of
6:02drinks, the conversation eventually goes
6:05where it often goes at gatherings like
6:07this, money. Someone mentions how
6:09expensive everything has become. Derek
6:11laughs and says the car payment is
6:13getting ridiculous. His wife gives him a
6:15look. She tries to change the subject. A
6:17few minutes later, somebody asks whether
6:19he's planning to keep the Range Rover
6:21for a long time. Derek shrugs. Honestly,
6:23I don't know. We'll see what happens
6:25when the time comes. His wife tries to
6:27move the conversation along again, but
6:28Derek is relaxed, enjoying himself, and
6:31feeling comfortable around old friends.
6:33Then, he turns to you. Man, you and I
6:35have always told each other everything,
6:37right? You laugh. Yeah, why? He points
6:40toward the driveway. You want to know
6:41what that thing actually costs me? You
6:43nod, and Derek starts explaining. The
6:45Range Rover isn't exactly his in the way
6:47you imagined. He got it through a
6:49financing arrangement with a large final
6:51payment. He put about $4,000 down. Then
6:54came the monthly payments, roughly
6:56$1,050 over 4 years. And at the end of
6:59the agreement, there's a final payment
7:01of around 28 thousand dollars if he
7:03wants to keep the car. When that day
7:05comes, he can pay the balance, arrange
7:07another deal, or return the vehicle
7:09under the terms of his agreement. You
7:11sit there for a moment. Wait, so after 4
7:14years, you could still owe almost 30
7:16grand? Derek laughs. Yeah, that's how
7:19these deals work. Then he starts adding
7:21everything else up, the insurance, the
7:23gas, the maintenance, the tires, the
7:25costs that come with owning a
7:27high-performance luxury SUV. When he
7:30puts it all together, the car is costing
7:32him close to $1,700
7:34a month, more than $20,000 a year. He
7:37says it casually, almost jokingly. It's
7:40expensive, sure, but I can make the
7:42payments. Everybody finances cars these
7:44days. I'll figure out the final payment
7:45when I get there. Who knows where I'll
7:47be in 4 years? And here's the thing,
7:49Derek isn't a fool. He works hard. He
7:52earns a decent living. He loves cars,
7:54and he genuinely enjoys driving that
7:57Range Rover. He's allowed to spend his
7:58money on something he loves. But then he
8:00says something that stays with you. I
8:02just figured I'd get about saving once I
8:04was making more money. You stop smiling
8:07for a second because you've told
8:09yourself almost exactly the same thing.
8:11Once you get the next raise, once things
8:13settle down, once the mortgage feels
8:15easier, once you're earning enough to
8:17stop worrying about every unexpected
8:19bill, then you'll start building
8:20something. But Derek has already
8:22committed a big part of his future
8:24income to a car, and suddenly you
8:27realize that a person can look
8:28financially successful while having very
8:30little room left to maneuver. On the
8:33drive home, back in your Honda, you keep
8:35thinking about that Instagram picture,
8:37the keys, the Range Rover, the caption
8:39about finally making it. The car was
8:41real, Derek's excitement was real, but
8:43the picture didn't tell the whole story.
8:46And yet, the next morning, you do
8:48something you never expected. The
8:50dealership. It's Saturday morning,
8:52you're coming back from the grocery
8:53store with Emily and Jake. You pass a
8:55car dealership on the highway, and you
8:57say the words that start the whole
8:59thing. We could just take a look. It
9:01doesn't cost anything to look. So, you
9:03pull in. The smell of new cars hits you
9:05as soon as you walk through the door.
9:07There's a brand new SUV in the center of
9:09the showroom, gleaming under the lights.
9:11A huge screen dominates the dashboard.
9:14The seats are heated, there's a backup
9:16camera, digital climate control, and
9:18enough technology to make your Honda
9:20feel like something from another decade.
9:22Jake climbs into the driver's seat
9:23without even asking. He grabs the
9:25steering wheel and looks at you. "Dad,
9:27look at this." Compared with the Honda,
9:30the new SUV feels like a spaceship. The
9:32salesperson is friendly. He doesn't
9:34pressure you. He listens when you
9:35explain what you're looking for, and
9:37offers to take you on a test drive.
9:39Emily sits beside you. You start the
9:41engine. It's quiet. You pull onto the
9:42road, accelerate through an
9:44intersection, and realize you're
9:46smiling. Emily is smiling, too. Jake
9:48takes pictures from the back seat to
9:50send to his friends. For 20 minutes, you
9:52can imagine the whole thing. Driving
9:54this car to work, pulling into the
9:56school pickup line, taking it on a
9:57family trip, not feeling embarrassed
9:59when you park beside somebody else's new
10:01SUV. When you return to the dealership,
10:04you park the new car beside your Honda.
10:06From that angle, your old car looks even
10:09older. The salesperson asks about your
10:11trade-in. You tell him the Honda has
10:13165,000
10:14mi. He nods and gives you a number. "We
10:17can probably give you a thousand dollars
10:19for it, depending on the inspection, and
10:21we can work out the rest in manageable
10:23monthly payments." You sit down at a
10:25glass table with a bowl of candy in the
10:27middle and a cup of coffee nobody really
10:29wants. The salesperson opens his
10:31computer. He asks about your income, how
10:33long you've been at your job, and
10:35whether you have any other loans. You
10:36tell him you don't have any car
10:38payments. He smiles. Then, he turns a
10:41sheet of paper toward you. The monthly
10:42payment is printed in large numbers,
10:45around $650
10:47a month. At first glance, it doesn't
10:50look impossible. Emily looks at you.
10:51Jake, who has climbed back into the
10:53showroom car, gives you a thumbs up. The
10:55salesperson slides a pen across the
10:57table. You pick it up, and for a second,
10:59you're ready to sign. Then, you stop
11:02because something Derek said the night
11:04before comes back to you. You can afford
11:06the payment, but what does the car
11:08actually cost you? Not just the payment,
11:10the insurance, the gas, the maintenance,
11:13the registration, the tires, everything.
11:15And behind that question comes another
11:17one. What could you do with that money
11:19if you didn't sign? You look at the
11:21paper for a long moment. The salesperson
11:23waits. Emily doesn't say anything.
11:25Finally, you put the pen down. "We're
11:27going to think about it." He smiles,
11:29hands you his card, and tells you to
11:30come back whenever you're ready. You
11:32both know there's a good chance you
11:34won't. On the drive home, Jake
11:35complains. He really wanted the new car.
11:38Emily stays quiet for most of the ride,
11:40and you, driving the same Honda you've
11:42been driving all along, aren't entirely
11:45sure whether you've made the right
11:46decision. The decision nobody sees. That
11:49night, you open your laptop at the
11:51kitchen table. You look at your bank
11:52account. You look at your monthly
11:54expenses. You look at the payment you
11:56almost agreed to make, and then you do
11:58something different. You set up an
12:00automatic transfer of $500 a month into
12:02a low-cost diversified index fund. Not
12:06because you're trying to become a
12:07millionaire overnight. Not because
12:08you're planning to stop working and live
12:10off your savings. But because you want
12:12your money to start building something
12:14instead of disappearing into another
12:16monthly payment. The emergency fund you
12:18and Emily have already built stays in a
12:20separate savings account. You don't
12:22invest the money you might need for an
12:23unexpected repair or a medical bill. You
12:25keep that safety net where it belongs.
12:28The first investment transfer goes out
12:30that month. Nobody sees it. Nobody stops
12:32you in the parking lot to admire it.
12:34There are no keys to hold up for a
12:35photo. No new car smell. No likes. It's
12:38probably the most invisible financial
12:41decision you've ever made. And at first,
12:43it doesn't feel like a success. By the
12:45end of the year, the stock market has
12:47dropped. You've put in about $4,000.
12:50Your investment account is worth a
12:51little less than that. You're losing
12:53money on paper. Meanwhile, Derek still
12:56has his Range Rover and you're still
12:57driving your old Honda. One night, you
12:59open the investment app and hover over
13:01the button that would let you cancel the
13:03automatic transfer. You could use that
13:05money for something else. You could
13:07finally replace the car. You could stop
13:09watching your investment balance move up
13:11and down, but you don't cancel it. You
13:13remind yourself why you started. You're
13:15not investing because you know what the
13:17market will do next month. You're
13:18investing because you want to build
13:20assets over time and you understand that
13:22the value can fall as well as rise.
13:25Then, one day, the heating system at
13:27home breaks down. The repair costs
13:29$2,300.
13:30A few years earlier, that bill might
13:32have meant a credit card balance, a
13:34personal loan, or months of trying to
13:36catch up. This time, you pay for it from
13:38your emergency fund. You don't have to
13:40sell your investments. You don't have to
13:42finance the repair. You don't have to
13:44panic. And month after month, quietly,
13:47the automatic contributions continue.
13:49Your financial life doesn't change
13:51overnight. You still go to work. You
13:52still pay bills. You still drive the
13:54Honda. You still have days when you wish
13:57you could pull into the school parking
13:58lot in something newer. But, you're
14:00building something that isn't visible
14:02from the outside. Then, a few years
14:04later, your phone rings. It's Derek. The
14:07final payment on the Range Rover is due.
14:09Around $28,000.
14:11He doesn't have the cash available to
14:12pay it comfortably. Returning the car
14:14would mean giving it back after years of
14:16payments without owning it outright. So,
14:19he does what he has done before. He
14:21arranges another deal on a newer
14:23vehicle. Another agreement, another set
14:25of monthly payments, another date in the
14:27future when he'll have to make a
14:28decision all over again. A week later, a
14:31new photo appears on Instagram. Derek
14:33holding the keys, his new car behind
14:35him. You give the picture a like, and
14:37you genuinely feel happy for him. He
14:38loves cars. He's enjoying his life.
14:41There's nothing wrong with that. But
14:42this time, you understand something you
14:44didn't understand before. The picture
14:46shows you what Derek drives. It doesn't
14:49show you how much financial freedom he
14:50has. And the same is true of you. Nobody
14:53scrolling through your pictures can see
14:55what you've been building, either. Four
14:57years later, you return to that same
14:59mall parking lot, another Saturday. Your
15:01son is older now. He's 15 and sitting in
15:04the front passenger seat. He looks out
15:06at the cars in the mall parking lot.
15:07Then he turns toward you. "Dad, why have
15:09we never changed the car?" And for the
15:11first time, you explain it to him. You
15:14tell him about the dealership, about the
15:16$650 monthly payment you almost agreed
15:19to, and about the $500 you've been
15:21investing every month instead. You
15:23explain that you weren't refusing to buy
15:25a new car because buying one is always a
15:27bad decision. You were trying to make
15:29sure that if you bought one, it wouldn't
15:31take away money you needed for other
15:33things that mattered more. Your son is
15:34quiet for a moment. Then you tell him
15:36something else. Next month, you're going
15:38to start looking for a reliable used
15:40car, something safer and more
15:42comfortable than the Honda. Something
15:43you can pay for with money you've set
15:45aside separately. The investment account
15:47stays untouched. For the first time in
15:49years, you don't feel like you're losing
15:52a race because you finally understand
15:54that everyone is running a different
15:56one, and yours doesn't have to end in a
15:58parking space. So, you aren't falling
16:00behind. Maybe you're just looking at the
16:02part of other people's lives that was
16:04made to be seen. The car, the vacation,
16:07the new kitchen. But you don't see the
16:09savings account. You don't see the
16:10retirement contributions. You don't see
16:13the debt. You don't see the money
16:14someone has invested in learning a skill
16:16that could increase their income. And
16:18you don't see the people who quietly
16:20spend less than they earn because they
16:22want more options in the future. That's
16:24the difference between looking rich and
16:26building wealth. One is visible, the
16:29other often isn't. And this doesn't mean
16:31you should never buy a nice car. It
16:33doesn't mean you should feel guilty for
16:35enjoying your money. It means you should
16:36know what you're trading away to get
16:38what you want. If a luxury car fits your
16:40budget, doesn't undermine your financial
16:42goals, and genuinely makes you happy,
16:45that's your decision. But if you're
16:46buying it because you're afraid everyone
16:48else is getting ahead of you, it's worth
16:50stopping for a moment because there will
16:52always be someone with a better car,
16:54someone with a bigger house, someone
16:56taking a more expensive vacation. If you
16:58measure your progress against what other
17:00people display, you'll never reach the
17:02finish line. Work hard, use your money
17:04intelligently, build savings and assets
17:07over time, invest in your skills, give
17:09your money a purpose beyond making your
17:11life look impressive to strangers
17:13because the real goal isn't to prove
17:15that you've made it. It's to build a
17:17life where you have more choices, where
17:19an unexpected bill doesn't destroy your
17:21month, where you can leave a job that's
17:23making you miserable without feeling
17:25completely trapped, where you can buy
17:27the things you genuinely value without
17:29sacrificing everything else. And maybe
17:32one day you buy that luxury car, or
17:35maybe you decide you'd rather spend the
17:36money on something else. Either way, the
17:38decision is yours, not the parking
17:40lot's, not Instagram's, not the people
17:43who have no idea what your financial
17:45life actually looks like. And now I want
17:47to ask you something. How much do you
17:49pay for your car every month? Be honest
17:51in the comments. And if you want more
17:53stories about money, the decisions we
17:55make, and how to build a life with more
17:57financial freedom, subscribe to Money
17:59and Earl because the next story is
18:01already on its way.

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