Pickle Rick Goes To Therapy | Rick and Morty | Max — Transcript

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1. 0:00(groans)
2. 0:06(groans)
3. 0:09- You must be Rick.
4. 0:09- Mm hm.
5. 0:10- I heard a lot about you today.
6. 0:12Your family is crazy about you.
7. 0:14Your daughter holds you in very high regard.
8. 0:16You're in lucky fella.
9. 0:17- Yeah, Thank you.
10. 0:18Uh sweetie, You don't still happen to have
11. 0:20that syringe in your purse?
12. 0:25- Dad, I would like you to tell me
13. 0:29what's in the syringe.
14. 0:31- It's a serum,
15. 0:32that I need to,
16. 0:33to uh, stay alive.
17. 0:35I have, had a rough day
18. 0:38and uh I've sustained a lot of damage.
19. 0:41I'm pretty close to death,
20. 0:43which the serum will prevent.
21. 0:44- By changing you from a pickle to a human.
22. 0:48- Yes.
23. 0:49- Rick, why did you lie to your daughter?
24. 0:52- So I wouldn't have to come here.
25. 0:53- Why didn't you want to come here?
26. 0:55- Because I don't respect therapy
27. 0:57because I'm a scientist
28. 0:58because I invent, transform,
29. 0:59create and destroy for a living.
30. 1:01And when I don't like something about the world,
31. 1:02I change it
32. 1:03And I don't think
33. 1:04going to a rented office in a strip mall
34. 1:05to listen to some agent of average-ness
35. 1:07Explain which words, mean which feelings
36. 1:09has ever helped anyone do anything?
37. 1:10I think it's helped a lot of people
38. 1:11get comfortable and stop panicking,
39. 1:13which is a state of mind (burp)
40. 1:14We value in the animals who we eat,
41. 1:16but not something I want for myself.
42. 1:18I'm not a cow.
43. 1:19I'm a pickle
44. 1:20when I feel like it so,
45. 1:22you asked.
46. 1:24- Rick, the only connection between your
47. 1:26unquestionable intelligence and the sickness
48. 1:28destroying your family,
49. 1:30is that everyone in your family,
50. 1:31you included,
51. 1:32use intelligence to justify sickness.
52. 1:34You seem to alternate between
53. 1:36viewing your own mind as an unstoppable force
54. 1:39and as an inescapable curse.
55. 1:41And I think it's because the only
56. 1:43truly unapproachable concept for you
57. 1:45is that it's your mind within your control.
58. 1:48You chose to come here,
59. 1:50you chose to talk to belittle my vocation,
60. 1:53just as you chose to become a pickle,
61. 1:55you are the master of your universe
62. 1:57and yet you are dripping with rat blood and feces.
63. 2:00Your enormous mind,
64. 2:01literally vegetating by your own hand,
65. 2:03I have no doubt that you would be bored senseless
66. 2:06by therapy, the same way I'm bored
67. 2:08when I brush my teeth and wipe my ass
68. 2:10because the thing about repairing,
69. 2:11maintaining and cleaning is
70. 2:13it's not an adventure.
71. 2:15There's no way to do it so wrong, you might die.
72. 2:18It's just work.
73. 2:19And the bottom line is some people are okay going to work.
74. 2:22And some people,
75. 2:23well, some people would rather die.
76. 2:26Each of us gets to choose.
77. 2:31(beep from watch)
78. 2:32That's our time.
79. 2:33I'm going to give you guys my card
80. 2:34and hope to hear from you again.
81. 2:35And if you have any friends or family
82. 2:37that eat poop and would like to stop,
83. 2:38give them my number.