People Are Finally Quitting Dating Apps — Transcript

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1. 0:00Hello my dears. In my last video we
2. 0:02discussed all of the cultural changes
3. 0:04that have made modern dating a lot more
4. 0:05complicated and a lot more difficult.
5. 0:07And within that video I also touched on
6. 0:09the fact that they have been many
7. 0:11reports suggesting that young people are
8. 0:13quitting dating apps. Yes, it does seem
9. 0:15as though Gen Z and millennials are
10. 0:17finally ready to retire from the apps.
11. 0:20It's 2026 and Gen Z singles are going
12. 0:23analog. The hottest new dating trend is
13. 0:26all about ditching the apps and meeting
14. 0:28people IRL. With the beginning of their
15. 0:31dating life being mostly in person, some
16. 0:33millennials are saying enough is enough
17. 0:36to dating app culture in favor of
18. 0:39returning to what is now known as IRL or
19. 0:42in real life.
20. 0:44So in my last video we discussed all of
21. 0:46the cultural shifts that made people
22. 0:48more reliant on the apps, but it does
23. 0:50seem as though something interesting is
24. 0:52happening now where we're going through
25. 0:53another transition with a lot of people
26. 0:55preferring to try and do in real life
27. 0:57dating or IRL dating as some people have
28. 1:01dubbed it online. Now naturally this
29. 1:03sparked my interest because if people
30. 1:05are no longer going on the apps and as
31. 1:07we discussed a lot of these third spaces
32. 1:09that people used to meet their partners
33. 1:10in have either gotten more complicated
34. 1:13or have just disappeared altogether,
35. 1:15then where are people going to meet up?
36. 1:17Like what are people doing instead? What
37. 1:20does this new transition actually look
38. 1:21like? But before we get into that, I
39. 1:23will give just a really quick recap on
40. 1:25why many people are ditching the apps.
41. 1:27Just in case some people aren't familiar
42. 1:28with them. Basically a lot of people
43. 1:30just simply don't the apps anymore. They
44. 1:32don't believe that they can offer them
45. 1:34quality matches and they also just seem
46. 1:37to be very suspicious of whether or not
47. 1:39these apps are actually incentivized to
48. 1:41help people meet up with each other. As
49. 1:43one person asked on Reddit, why are so
50. 1:45many Gen Z giving up on dating apps?
51. 1:48Lately I've noticed a lot of my friends
52. 1:50just stopped using dating apps
53. 1:51altogether. They're not even mad about
54. 1:53them, just tired. Like I don't care
55. 1:55enough to keep swiping tired. I'm
56. 1:57curious if this is a broader Gen Z thing
57. 1:59or just my circle. Is it the burnout,
58. 2:02ghosting, too many options, or does it
59. 2:04just feel less human than it used to? To
60. 2:06which people responded, "In my opinion,
61. 2:08using dating apps is the most anti-human
62. 2:10way of dating. The algorithms used in
63. 2:13dating apps are incredibly advanced,
64. 2:15measuring a bunch of metrics based on
65. 2:17how you use it, keeping background
66. 2:18scores of profiles, how much time you
67. 2:21spend looking at any given profile, your
68. 2:23like or dislike ratios. It's incredibly
69. 2:25optimized to squeeze every penny out of
70. 2:27your pocket and leave you with zero
71. 2:29successful matches because that would
72. 2:31mean they just lost a customer. They
73. 2:33became about money rather than dating.
74. 2:35Successful match equals lost customer.
75. 2:37And I think a lot of the distrust in
76. 2:39these apps definitely increased when
77. 2:41some of these apps started introducing
78. 2:43versions that you could pay for. So,
79. 2:46some apps were not allowing people to
80. 2:48see certain profiles or to see who had
81. 2:50liked their account unless they were
82. 2:52willing to pay for it. But, of course,
83. 2:54burnout is also another reason why a lot
84. 2:56of people are put off the apps as this
85. 2:58person wrote in this article. "I felt
86. 2:59like a relic, a millennial dinosaur lost
87. 3:02in a desolate wasteland of profiles.
88. 3:04Bumble, Hinge, Tinder, they've become
89. 3:06just different flavors of
90. 3:07disappointment. It wasn't just the
91. 3:09endless ghosting or these lukewarm
92. 3:11conversations that fizzled out faster
93. 3:14than a New Year's resolution. It was
94. 3:16just a nagging feeling that everyone
95. 3:17left on these apps was just leftovers.
96. 3:20After dedicating an entire decade to
97. 3:23on-and-off app usage with nothing to
98. 3:25show for it, I hit my breaking point. A
99. 3:27whole year has passed since I've logged
100. 3:29in, and honestly, it's been liberating.
101. 3:31Everyone tells me it's the only way
102. 3:33these days, but my gut tells me
103. 3:35otherwise. Approaching my late 30s,
104. 3:37swiping through surface-level photos and
105. 3:39witty catchphrases just isn't cutting it
106. 3:42anymore. So many of us are burnt out
107. 3:44after chasing digital sparks that rarely
108. 3:46translate to real life. What happened to
109. 3:48genuine connection? And I do think that
110. 3:50this burnout with apps is
111. 3:52a driving cause for a lot of people
112. 3:54coming off of the apps and people
113. 3:56seeking out alternative ways to find
114. 3:58potential partners, especially for
115. 4:00people like this woman who's an older
116. 4:02millennial. Because I'm sure she
117. 4:03probably remembers a time where people
118. 4:05were meeting off the apps. And so I
119. 4:07think there is a desire to try and have
120. 4:09something like that once again. And I
121. 4:11guess the great thing is so many people
122. 4:12are on the same page when it comes to
123. 4:14this because there are people who are
124. 4:16actively now trying to fix the current
125. 4:18state of dating by organizing events
126. 4:20that people can go to to meet people,
127. 4:23rather than having to try and find
128. 4:24connections through these apps. But if
129. 4:26singles aren't meeting online, where are
130. 4:29they looking for love? For hundreds of
131. 4:31New Yorkers, the answer is a weekly run
132. 4:33club. What I want you to turn to someone
133. 4:35you've never met before, introduce
134. 4:37yourself, and then we'll get started.
135. 4:39Steve Cohen Rachel Lamson started lunch
136. 4:42run club in May. How many people came to
137. 4:44the first one? 40, I think we had at the
138. 4:46first one, and then we pretty much
139. 4:47doubled every week until we hit a
140. 4:48thousand. You have over a thousand
141. 4:50people that come every week?
142. 4:51>> That's 1200 now.
143. 4:53Yeah.
144. 4:54They meet every Wednesday for a
145. 4:56three-mile run or walk. If you're
146. 4:58single, wear black. And at the end of
147. 5:00the run, drinks and flirting at a local
148. 5:03bar. There's something about being in
149. 5:06person and doing an activity that feels
150. 5:09like more authentic.
151. 5:10>> What a lot of people say is when you're
152. 5:12just on these apps, you're just swiping
153. 5:14yes, no, yes, no, but a lot of the times
154. 5:16if you met this person like in real life
155. 5:18and could kind of feel the vibe, then
156. 5:20that's actually a very different story.
157. 5:22Lunch run club members agree. I think
158. 5:25these more community-based things like
159. 5:28working out together is a good way to
160. 5:29like meet people and actually get to
161. 5:31know them.
162. 5:32And what's been really encouraging is
163. 5:34just how popular these events have been
164. 5:36to the point where some of the
165. 5:37organizers have even reported that they
166. 5:39have waiting lists.
167. 5:40Two years ago, Maxine started hosting
168. 5:42her own speed dating and singles mixers.
169. 5:45And demand is high. We Met IRL has more
170. 5:48than 10,000 people on their wait list to
171. 5:51attend an event.
172. 5:52>> We get DMs all the time from people
173. 5:55like, "Oh, I have my third date with the
174. 5:57guy from the July event. Like, thank you
175. 5:59so much."
176. 6:01Um I've even run into couples who met
177. 6:03like at my event.
178. 6:05Maxine says We Met IRL works cuz
179. 6:08everyone is there with the same goal.
180. 6:10And the speed daters agree.
181. 6:13And some of these dating events have
182. 6:15even gone global with some organizers
183. 6:17hosting them in different cities around
184. 6:19the world. And as I mentioned before,
185. 6:21there are many reports saying that a lot
186. 6:23of dating apps are now losing a lot of
187. 6:25their users. A lot of people are no
188. 6:27longer on the apps. And it does seem as
189. 6:29though these real-life meeting spaces
190. 6:32could be a contributing factor to the
191. 6:34hit that they're taking. If more people
192. 6:36are having these real-life alternatives,
193. 6:37then it makes sense why people just
194. 6:39don't care to use the apps anymore. And
195. 6:41I think it is very encouraging to see
196. 6:43how popular these events have been with
197. 6:45the younger generations because it does
198. 6:46seem as though millennials and Gen Z are
199. 6:48usually the biggest portion of the
200. 6:50people who attend these events. It seems
201. 6:52as though young people are reviving many
202. 6:54of these old-school ways of dating,
203. 6:55especially with things like speed
204. 6:57dating. As this article discussed, a new
205. 6:59report by Eventbrite reveals that
206. 7:01attendance at in-person events geared
207. 7:03towards singles and dating increased 42%
208. 7:07from last year. Now, this report was
209. 7:08actually released in 2024, and this does
210. 7:11seem to be an upward trend. So, we can
211. 7:13only imagine that that percentage is
212. 7:14probably increasing. So, where are
213. 7:16millennials and Gen Z ers looking to
214. 7:18find love if they're no longer swiping?
215. 7:20Eventbrite reports show that millennials
216. 7:23and Gen Z ers have soured on dating apps
217. 7:25because the apps make it hard to find
218. 7:27people who share their interests.
219. 7:29There's also a safety concern as many
220. 7:31people misrepresent themselves or even
221. 7:33hide their true identity on dating apps.
222. 7:35They seek genuine connections, which is
223. 7:37easier to achieve at in-person events.
224. 7:40Speed dating has increased in
225. 7:41popularity, and Gen Z and millennials
226. 7:43are seeking out more authentic events
227. 7:45that revolve around specific interests
228. 7:48so they can find someone who shares
229. 7:49those interests. According to the
230. 7:51report, coffee shops, bookstores, social
231. 7:53clubs, and hobby-based events are now
232. 7:55seen as a more ideal alternative to bars
233. 7:58and clubs for meeting potential
234. 7:59partners. When it comes to dates, unique
235. 8:02shared experiences involving fun rather
236. 8:04than standard dinner and movie are key.
237. 8:06And what's been really interesting as
238. 8:07well is how people on TikTok are now
239. 8:09documenting their IRL dating experiences
240. 8:13or their dating journeys. And some of
241. 8:14them are even documenting and sharing
242. 8:16their trials and errors. So here I am
243. 8:18going to Barnes & Noble thinking, "Hey,
244. 8:21I could meet a smart, intelligent, tall,
245. 8:24broad-shouldered, strong man, right? You
246. 8:27know, and he's he's he's very easy on
247. 8:29the eyes, of course. And he's he loves
248. 8:30to read. He loves to read, maybe by a
249. 8:32fireplace, on the couch, you know, with
250. 8:35a little blanket or something."
251. 8:37And I come in here. I look around.
252. 8:40No man in sight. Not not a man. Not a
253. 8:43man to be had. It's a bunch of girls
254. 8:45though.
255. 8:46So maybe I can make a friend or
256. 8:47something. But, you know, maybe maybe
257. 8:49the men out there This is a little PSA
258. 8:50to you. If you want to find a girl,
259. 8:52creative, smart, funny, of course,
260. 8:54intelligent, beautiful, obviously,
261. 8:56good-looking, and
262. 8:57just loves to read, go to Barnes &
263. 8:59Noble. You'll find her. But as for the
264. 9:01girls,
265. 9:02I'm not seeing anything for us, okay?
266. 9:04I mean, I'm just seeing a bunch of other
267. 9:06girls like us who maybe had the same
268. 9:09idea, but I'm not seeing any any men
269. 9:11now. So, dating apps, zero. In person,
270. 9:15zero.
271. 9:16She's funny and I do hope that she has
272. 9:18success within her journey to find love,
273. 9:20but I'll be honest, I'm not sure how
274. 9:22much luck she's going to have at a
275. 9:23bookshop. Women tend to be more
276. 9:24interested in that stuff than men, to be
277. 9:26honest, cuz women tend to be bigger
278. 9:28readers than men. So, I would say that's
279. 9:30probably the reason why she's finding
280. 9:32more women at that bookshop than she's
281. 9:34finding men. But along with trials and
282. 9:36errors, there are also women online
283. 9:38sharing their successes with approaching
284. 9:40men in public.
285. 9:41>> I'm 31 years old and single, and I
286. 9:43recently deleted all of my dating apps,
287. 9:46and one goal I had for 2026
288. 9:49was to actually approach men more.
289. 9:51Because I'm not on dating apps, the only
290. 9:53way I have to meet people is by going
291. 9:56out. But, I think it's an unrealistic
292. 9:58expectation for me to think that it's
293. 10:00only a guy's job to come up and approach
294. 10:03me. So, I'm happy to report that I
295. 10:05actually approached a man last night.
296. 10:07Last night, I was out to dinner with one
297. 10:09of my girlfriends, and I saw this guy
298. 10:11walk in, and I go to my girlfriend, I
299. 10:12go, "Oh, he's he's handsome." I saw him
300. 10:15go sit at the bar by himself, and I was
301. 10:17kind of waiting for someone to come and
302. 10:19join him, and then no one ever joined
303. 10:21him. So, what did I do? What did I say?
304. 10:24I said to my girlfriend, once we were
305. 10:25done with dinner, "I'm going to go over
306. 10:27and give him my business card." And
307. 10:29before going over, I kind of had a game
308. 10:31plan as to what I was going to say. This
309. 10:33way, when I got over there, I wasn't
310. 10:35thinking of something to say. So, what I
311. 10:37did was, I walked over, and the first
312. 10:40thing I said was, "Excuse me, I'm so
313. 10:42sorry to interrupt, but I just have to
314. 10:44say, I think you are so handsome, and in
315. 10:46case you're single, here's my number,
316. 10:48here's my business card." and slid my
317. 10:50business card onto the table, and I
318. 10:52said, "But, I have to run because my
319. 10:54girlfriend's outside, but it's so nice
320. 10:56to meet you. I'm Bridget." He introduced
321. 10:58himself, and I said, "Well, I hope you
322. 11:00enjoy the rest of your evening." And
323. 11:02then I just walked outside and met my
324. 11:04girlfriends, and um about an hour later,
325. 11:07he texted me. So, ladies, shoot your
326. 11:09shot. Delete your dating apps. Go out to
327. 11:12dinner. Go out to dinner solo, and start
328. 11:14shooting your shot.
329. 11:15>> Now, while all of this is exciting to
330. 11:17me, I love the fact that people are
331. 11:18going out more and trying to make
332. 11:20in-person connections, even if it
333. 11:22doesn't result in relationships, I'm
334. 11:24sure for some of them it will also
335. 11:25result in friendships because, as I said
336. 11:27in my last video, we don't just have an
337. 11:29issue with relationships, we also have
338. 11:31an issue with friendships as well.
339. 11:32People are just generally struggling to
340. 11:34make connections. But, I also think it
341. 11:36would be very naive of me to see this
342. 11:38data on how young people are leaving
343. 11:41dating apps and only interpret it as
344. 11:43meaning that loads of young people are
345. 11:44now suddenly going out to try and find
346. 11:47real connections in person. Because
347. 11:49there are also some people who are
348. 11:51coming off the dating apps and just
349. 11:52simply not trying at all. This article
350. 11:55from the time discusses how some people
351. 11:57within the Gen Z generation are simply
352. 11:59no longer on dating apps because they,
353. 12:02quite frankly, are scared of rejection
354. 12:04and they also are really scared of being
355. 12:06cringe. The author writes, "Over the
356. 12:08last few years, I've noticed more and
357. 12:10more clients, particularly in their 20s,
358. 12:12who have never had a dating profile or
359. 12:14are not active on any dating apps. I
360. 12:17don't exclusively recommend dating apps
361. 12:19to my clients, but it has been
362. 12:20interesting to see how something that
363. 12:22was so common a few years ago is losing
364. 12:24steam with certain daters, especially
365. 12:26those who are of a younger demographic.
366. 12:29Gen Z is the first generation to have
367. 12:30internet connectivity from birth. Where
368. 12:33other generations have a clear memory of
369. 12:35a before and after smartphones,
370. 12:37tech-enabled devices have been seemingly
371. 12:39woven into each and every aspect of Gen
372. 12:42Z's life. Given that Gen Z currently
373. 12:44includes 18-27-year-olds,
374. 12:46one would assume they would be prime
375. 12:48candidates for the swipe and match of
376. 12:50dating apps. But, that's not the case.
377. 12:52Despite the growing trend of dating apps
378. 12:54being where people go to find partners
379. 12:56in the US, Gen Z seems to be opting out.
380. 12:59Gen Z daters cite fear of rejections and
381. 13:01being cringe amongst their top concerns.
382. 13:04Older generations of daters may have
383. 13:06more experience with discomfort of
384. 13:08dating rejection. They may also rebound
385. 13:10more easily after an awkward encounter,
386. 13:12rather than internalizing it as cringe
387. 13:15that can't be overcome. Of course, most
388. 13:17of us fear rejection, but in a
389. 13:19tech-mediated world where ideas and
390. 13:21people are liked, upvoted, attacked, or
391. 13:23labeled, these things can feel
392. 13:25simultaneously impersonal and very
393. 13:27personal. Gen Z daters may have a harder
394. 13:30time putting themselves in the
395. 13:32vulnerable position online of seeking
396. 13:34partnership, only to get passed over or
397. 13:36ghosted. This struggle to make
398. 13:38connections using dating apps could
399. 13:39explain why some of my Gen Z clients are
400. 13:42deleting their dating apps or after
401. 13:44hearing stories from peers about how
402. 13:46hard dating apps are to engage with,
403. 13:48choose not to try dating at all. And
404. 13:51this attitude of just choosing not to
405. 13:53participate or to not take part in
406. 13:55dating is also something I saw when I
407. 13:57was looking into this on Reddit. I saw a
408. 13:58guy ask women on Reddit where he can
409. 14:00potentially go to meet women cuz he was
410. 14:02trying to ditch the dating apps and
411. 14:04attempting to find someone in in person.
412. 14:07And these were some of the replies that
413. 14:08the women wrote. So one woman wrote,
414. 14:10"Now I am just hiding and working on
415. 14:12myself. Online dating is a complete
416. 14:14waste of time and I am not going out so
417. 14:16I can meet anyone. Being single is so
418. 14:18nice though. I no longer care about red
419. 14:21flags or green flags. I'm just a white
420. 14:23flag now." And there are also men like
421. 14:25this as well who expressed the fact that
422. 14:27they're just done with dating and
423. 14:28they're just not interested. I even saw
424. 14:30some comments like this on my last
425. 14:31video, some people saying how they would
426. 14:33much rather do other things than dating.
427. 14:35It's too much of a headache that they
428. 14:36just can't be bothered with. So it does
429. 14:38seem based on what I can see that dating
430. 14:40apps are definitely losing popularity.
431. 14:42They're no longer being seen by many
432. 14:44people as the go-to if they want to find
433. 14:46love or if they want to date. So a lot
434. 14:48of young people in particular are
435. 14:50retiring from the apps. However, it
436. 14:52seems as though two reasons are
437. 14:54motivating this. One of those is that
438. 14:56some people want to find more in-person
439. 14:58experiences. They want to socialize and
440. 15:00get to know people in person. Those kind
441. 15:02of events are skyrocketing in popularity
442. 15:04among Gen Z and millennials. But then
443. 15:06there are also those who are coming off
444. 15:07the apps and simply no longer taking
445. 15:09part in dating altogether. So not all of
446. 15:12the drop-off from the dating apps is
447. 15:13only because people are preferring in
448. 15:15real life experiences or in real life
449. 15:17meetings. For some people they are just
450. 15:19quite simply over it. I suppose that
451. 15:21also makes sense as well when you think
452. 15:23about the demographic. Gen Z and
453. 15:24millennials are Well, millennials maybe
454. 15:26not so much, but Gen Z definitely will
455. 15:28have a lot of young people who are still
456. 15:30in the stage in their life where they
457. 15:32don't really aren't really ready to
458. 15:34settle down yet or aren't really ready
459. 15:36to start thinking about all that kind of
460. 15:37stuff. So, it makes sense as to why they
461. 15:39would put dating on the back bench while
462. 15:41they focus on other things. But yeah,
463. 15:42but let me know what you think about
464. 15:44this. What do you think about the move
465. 15:45away from dating apps and what are your
466. 15:47thoughts on some of these more
467. 15:49in-real-life meeting events that people
468. 15:52are now hosting for young singletons?
469. 15:54And have you been to any of them? And
470. 15:56would you go to one? I'd be very
471. 15:57interested to know what your thoughts
472. 15:59are on this. If you found this video
473. 16:00interesting, then why not like and
474. 16:02subscribe? Thank you so much for giving
475. 16:04me your time today. Do check out my last
476. 16:06video and I will see you in my next
477. 16:08video.