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Patrice O’Neal Explains Life For 3 Hours — Transcript

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0:00But it's a lonely game. That's what
0:01people That's what my woman doesn't
0:03understand. She thinks I hate her. I
0:05just You don't understand, sweetie. My
0:07loneliness
0:08>> is so important to me. You're And don't
0:10try to help me not be lonely.
0:12>> Yeah.
0:13>> Like I don't like anybody right now. I
0:15don't want to talk to anybody. I don't
0:17want to see anybody. I just want to be
0:19introverted
0:21>> Grinch. If somebody saw my holidays from
0:25Thanksgiving to now,
0:28>> it would be a sad scene in a movie that
0:32somebody would think they wrote because
0:34I drank one time before I went on stage
0:37and I was funny as a [ __ ] when I
0:40was started comedy. And also this in
0:42Australia, there was this gorgeous girl
0:45there and I mean my confidence level was
0:48at such a high. I was on the dance floor
0:51talking to her and I never forgot this.
0:52I stuck my I would never think to do
0:54this. It was so sexy to do it and I
0:57didn't even I could never repeat it. I
1:00stuck my tongue at the corner of her
1:03mouth and she just started sucking on
1:06it. This girl was gorgeous. I would have
1:08never thought to do that sober. It made
1:12you feel like then you have to drink to
1:14get to that kind of place and it's not
1:17going to always work. And then I got on
1:19stage and I was as funny as I could
1:22possibly be in terms of saying anything.
1:25And I said, I can't. This is No, cuz I'd
1:29have to be a junkie.
1:31>> I think college is a a waste of your
1:33time.
1:34>> Holla.
1:35>> That's only one thing.
1:36>> Hala.
1:37>> That's what I said.
1:37>> All it ever did was mess up my credit
1:39and it it does nothing. All it does is
1:41teach people how to be have credit
1:43problems and it teaches people of
1:45different ethnic groups how to sleep
1:46with each other. like that would have
1:47never been able to.
1:48>> Oh, good.
1:49>> A Mongolian and a Jamaican
1:51>> has a
1:52>> that's met in college. That's about it.
1:54>> It's a hell of a party though for four
1:56years, 5 years.
1:57>> It's it's nonsense. I don't I think most
1:59most people you know what college
2:01teaches people how to work for other
2:03people. It doesn't teach it destroys
2:05dreams. If you have any dream, like if
2:07you anybody in here right now, if they
2:09went to college and or if you talk to
2:12somebody that thought about college, you
2:14would not be doing what you're doing if
2:15you go, "Hey, listen. I want to be a
2:16successful radio person." Somebody would
2:18go, "You're a jerk. Go to go to
2:20college." But college does not do
2:22anything to help you better yourself.
2:24>> No, nothing.
2:26>> Well, because I think a lot of people,
2:27they just assume, well, if I go to
2:29college, that's all I have to worry
2:30about. I'll be successful. Then you get
2:32out of college and someone's waiting
2:34there to give you a job and everything.
2:36>> That's the first step. Then you have to
2:37when you're in college really. Then you
2:39got to work for the college. $50,000 or
2:42$75,000 you got to pay back. You
2:44essentially you're going to work for the
2:46college for the next 10 years.
2:47>> You're a you're a hoe for the college.
2:49>> Not taking back.
2:50>> They're pimping you out all over the
2:51place.
2:52>> Yeah. Sit in a community college.
2:53>> Can I apologize to everybody now?
2:55>> Yes. Patrice.
2:56>> Oh, the apology.
2:57>> Apology. What's this?
2:58>> I just want to apologize, man. I just
3:01doing this pilot
3:02>> uh Comedy Central pilot.
3:04>> I've never been at the level of uh my
3:08own vision
3:10>> uh coming to fruition
3:12>> where I was at the top of the food
3:13chain.
3:14>> Right. Right.
3:14>> And had to do things that I never had to
3:17do before.
3:19>> Um the word difficult,
3:21[Laughter]
3:24the word difficult in this business
3:25doesn't necessarily mean you have to be
3:28difficult. It's just anything that isn't
3:30pleasant is difficult. And I'd like to
3:34apologize to Chris Rock.
3:36>> Oh [ __ ] for thinking he was a dick by
3:38telling me that I was I learned by being
3:42in charge of every process, the casting,
3:47dealing with production and everything
3:48else that any kind of
3:53[ __ ] behavior, no matter what the
3:55degree, aloofness,
3:58you're a dick. If you're aloof,
4:01>> if you're if you have quiet
4:04>> to your self-confidence,
4:06>> but it comes off like you're not
4:08pleasant,
4:09>> you're a dick.
4:10>> And that's difficult.
4:11>> And you can understand why someone would
4:13hire someone who is 60%
4:16good and 40% nice as opposed to 95% good
4:23and 5% [ __ ]
4:25>> Wow.
4:26>> Really? Absolutely. [ __ ] carries a
4:28lot of weight,
4:28>> dude. A 5% [ __ ] takes you out of your
4:31zone.
4:32>> Damn.
4:33>> No matter what, even if it's not really
4:35being an [ __ ] uh it is just the
4:38casting people that will walk in and
4:40just be this aloof. If you go, "Hey, how
4:43you doing?" And it's just like, "Fuck
4:44you. I'm talented. Watch this." You go,
4:46"Fuck you back."
4:48>> So you're you're the guy. You're the
4:51>> I'm the guy looking at me. A bunch of
4:53meis on any level
4:55>> is a strain to life.
4:58>> Wow.
4:59>> It when it's your [ __ ]
5:01>> So you realize that maybe over the years
5:03you've
5:04>> had some Yes. But it's too late for me
5:07to change.
5:08>> But I will say
5:09>> Oh, so you're going to continue?
5:10>> I will never I Here's what I won't do
5:12cuz even on the set of uh the the the uh
5:16[ __ ] movie me and Norton was on Furry
5:19Vengeance. I was an ass.
5:22>> Really? just an [ __ ] But but not how
5:26I thought. I thought just being in the
5:29cut away from people, one-word answers,
5:32walk away was just it's [ __ ] sucks.
5:38>> This is the way a mother feels when her
5:41son quits doing drugs.
5:46>> I I I can't
5:48>> I mean, I'm lucky enough to be able to
5:49be an [ __ ] I was being [ __ ] is
5:51what they needed for on tough crowd, you
5:53know.
5:54>> Uh I was difficult there too,
5:56>> but they my difficulty was welcome.
5:59Yeah. Work for the show.
6:01>> Uh this one I think my assholeness is
6:03welcome. You know what I mean? Like you
6:04said, it could be, you know, tiring,
6:06whatever, you know, but it is welcome.
6:08>> Of course it is. Yeah.
6:09>> I'm pleasant here. I'm happy to be here.
6:11But any place what I've learned is this.
6:14I will not do
6:17anything that I'm not willing to to be
6:19in my lane and be pleasant. I will not
6:22do because it's it's a to not want to do
6:25to be unpleasant and do it is even more
6:29of a [ __ ] [ __ ] Like I'll go, "No,
6:31I don't want to do it because if I can't
6:33control the fact that I think I'm
6:35funnier than everybody on the set or I
6:38just sitting there going, "This sucks,
6:39but I'm here."
6:40>> Yeah.
6:41>> I'm not going to do it. You can't do it.
6:44I sat there watching casting people.
6:46I'mma tell you, anybody who goes out to
6:48casting is
6:49>> here's the rule.
6:51>> One, try not to go in after 12.
6:55>> Why is that?
6:56>> Cuz [ __ ] asleep after lunch.
6:59>> The people before lunch usually are
7:01going to get the
7:01>> So, they're not paying attention.
7:02>> After lunch, it's like you got to be
7:04spectacular.
7:07>> Two, be pleasant. Quiet. Confidence
7:11sucks.
7:13Hello, how are you? Good morning. Thank
7:16you. Right. Which I've never done.
7:18>> You've never done that
7:19>> ever. I come in
7:20>> just walk in and go like, "Let's get
7:22through this."
7:23>> No. I come in going, "Eat my left ball.
7:26I'm better than all of you."
7:28>> That's great.
7:29>> And with that attitude, you have to be
7:33way better than being an [ __ ]
7:36>> right? better.
7:36>> You have to be 120% good,
7:39>> right?
7:40>> Cuz you have to go over the top of the
7:42[ __ ] thing, which I understand
7:45cuz I wasn't being an [ __ ] So, I
7:47thought when I was reading for Everybody
7:48Hates Chris,
7:49>> but what happened?
7:50>> I was being aloof,
7:52>> quiet guy who was good and they go
7:57>> and they said no. Cuz there was a kid
8:00who read for the show who was good for
8:02what we needed him, but we go, "Man, I'm
8:05not sure if this is if we're going to be
8:08able to deal with this on 16our shoots."
8:13>> Oh [ __ ]
8:14>> I still gave him the part because I
8:17said, "Fuck that. I'm not going to do to
8:19people what I has been done to me."
8:21>> Oh, look at you.
8:21>> After this thing, I go, "Fuck that.
8:26This [ __ ] is tiring.
8:30>> Two, about trying to get a gig.
8:32>> Uh, three. One, try to get in before 12,
8:35before lunch. Two,
8:37>> be pleasant. Three, dress like the
8:41[ __ ] character. If you, if you come
8:43in to play a rich white guy, dress like
8:46a rich white guy. Don't come in in jeans
8:48and a t-shirt cuz you're not better than
8:51the fact of the guy that came in looking
8:53like Thirsten Howell. the third.
8:57>> Really?
8:57>> You know what I'm I'm serious. You You
8:59go, "Holy shit." You look like the guy,
9:02then you size him up from looking like
9:04the guy.
9:05>> See, you would think that the acting
9:07would stand on its own and he could be
9:09wearing anything.
9:10>> You go to be just as good of an actor
9:12who doesn't dress up as an [ __ ] So,
9:15if you come in like a fireman, you go,
9:17"Wow, this guy looks like a fireman.
9:19Let's see if this fireman can act."
9:21That's what you're thinking. So, that's
9:22the casting thing. So I come in dressed
9:25exactly like me. If I was going to read
9:27for [ __ ] a doctor, I'd dress like
9:29this like right now with my [ __ ] hat
9:31on
9:32>> trying to go nurse hand me the scaffold.
9:35And it's like this this fat
9:38[ __ ]
9:40>> I don't believe in this guy.
9:41>> I've done it. Going out as a lawyer in
9:43an Aussie shirt
9:45>> like a douche.
9:46>> A lawyer in an Aussie shirt. Ladies and
9:50gentlemen of the jury, crazy training.
9:53>> What I learned is that if you're not
9:56willing to be the boss, if you're not
9:59going to willing to be the boss, so it
10:00trickles down from you, don't go on
10:02anybody else's [ __ ] being you stay in
10:05your [ __ ] lane.
10:06>> Mhm.
10:07>> I understand that I've been difficult. I
10:09That's what I understand. Not and I
10:12can't go, well, I will never be
10:13difficult. It's just don't be difficult
10:16on someone else's [ __ ]
10:19>> right?
10:19>> Do not. So that's what I'm apologizing
10:21for is being [ __ ] an [ __ ]
10:24>> [ __ ] on everybody else's [ __ ] And I
10:26understand
10:28>> what Chris Rock was meaning even though
10:29I was like, "What the [ __ ] I didn't
10:30even do but but my attitude was enough.
10:34>> This is epiphany [ __ ] for you."
10:36>> Enough. That's why you can hire 6040. He
10:41He wasn't as good as this guy, but he
10:43was [ __ ] pleasant.
10:45>> Gonna be easy to work with. So, over the
10:47long
10:48>> to [ __ ] work with deal with.
10:51>> So, that was it. That's it. I apologize
10:53to the people that I've been difficult
10:54working.
10:55>> Eat my You grew up. Eat my left ball.
10:57I'm better than all of you, huh?
10:59>> I like that.
11:00>> Yeah. You just walk in like
11:02>> like you're confident.
11:02>> Let me show you what I got. But no one
11:04gives a [ __ ]
11:06>> Mr. [ __ ] good. That's That's
11:09>> I'm sitting on Furry Vides going this
11:11this this scene is beneath me.
11:13>> And you were right. 2% on Rotten
11:15Tomatoes.
11:17>> It was a horror show, but I was there.
11:19That's the thing. Le I did the the smart
11:23thing I did was stop [ __ ] with the
11:24office. I was a bad I just was a bad
11:27energy. Everybody was happy. Good
11:30morning. I come in. Yeah.
11:32>> No one wants to hear a guy who's 16th on
11:35the call sheet say, "I don't want any
11:38makeup."
11:39[Laughter]
11:40>> Breaks my skin out.
11:42>> You tell you take the makeup, right?
11:44>> You take the makeup, you number 16
11:46douche.
11:47>> [ __ ]
11:48>> Wow. I thought you were only kidding.
11:50>> Furry Vengeance got 2%.
11:52>> Yes.
11:54>> It should have.
11:54>> Wow. There it is.
11:56>> Not doing well.
11:56>> 2%.
11:57>> It [ __ ] should have.
11:58>> Did you guys know it was bad when you
12:00filming?
12:00>> That guy Roger Cumble. I'm I'm burning
12:02the bridge right now.
12:04>> Uh then why don't you just now you're
12:06gonna go against everything you just put
12:08out there.
12:09>> Look at He can't help himself in the
12:10end. He's still that [ __ ] guy. What
12:12is it again? Eat my ball. I'm better
12:14than all of you. Go ahead.
12:15>> That I'm burning a bridge.
12:18>> You can't wait. We can't allow you to do
12:21this. You just had this whole speech.
12:22>> I want to hear.
12:23>> Okay, then. I so want to hear about
12:27I I I'm still I I want to mentor others
12:31>> to not do what I did. It's not worth it.
12:34>> It's too late for you.
12:35>> I've burnt my bridge. I have right now I
12:37got gasoline feet
12:39>> and every any bridge I got is toilet
12:41paper. When I was younger, I'd burn a
12:43bridge and go I'll swim across this
12:45[ __ ] I build a boat, [ __ ] No
12:47bridge can stop me.
12:49>> But but now you get tired. But
12:52>> what happened with this guy? He just
12:54just a visionless
12:56>> and wants to hear it.
12:57>> Google him. Just Google him.
12:58>> Yeah.
13:01>> It wants to hear and and this is he he
13:04just is going to do he's just not
13:07interested in in goodness
13:10>> really.
13:10>> Yeah. It's just the just you go let me
13:15direct this [ __ ] movie and add some.
13:16It's just one of those things. And he
13:18and he's a guy that look look as a if I
13:21was a director I'd be like man I' I'd
13:23like to deal with some angst people
13:25because you know angst you know like
13:27everybody I know got some [ __ ] angst
13:29is an ass you know everybody's kind of
13:31weird who got some talent but it's just
13:34like you got to be like yeah this the
13:37[ __ ] dancing imaginary squirrels and
13:39the the skunk scenes. All right,
13:41Patrice, this is what I want you to do.
13:44Skunk and a skunk. And he comes out
13:46coughing and and you know, and Brendan,
13:48we got we we all got along and [ __ ]
13:50He's just a professional doing the
13:52movie, but it's just like
13:55>> Roger. It's just And at the end, we all
13:57got to do a dance and [ __ ] I I hope
13:59it's not I I'm going to try to sue to
14:02get my [ __ ] out of that movie.
14:04>> Do you do you do the dance, Jimmy?
14:06>> Yes, I do.
14:06>> Yes.
14:08And I was doing the dance with the scowl
14:10on my face. Not happy to be there guy.
14:12>> Us dancing
14:14>> and Patrice is in the back. It's It's us
14:17warming up
14:18>> and Patrice isn't even moving.
14:19>> It's very bad.
14:21>> I'm just You refuse to warm up with the
14:23dance.
14:23>> I'm difficult.
14:25>> Wait a minute. What are you looking at?
14:27>> Jimmy doing this dance is like
14:31>> I don't know what to say.
14:32>> Is Jimmy all in?
14:34>> He's all in.
14:34>> He was all in. all in practicing.
14:37>> He was dancing like a [ __ ] maniac in
14:40the background like, "God damn, you
14:42know."
14:43>> Yeah.
14:43>> Get the [ __ ] out of here.
14:44>> But I was there. I should have stayed my
14:46fat ass home and I took it.
14:47>> That's what Patrice just said is
14:49absolutely right.
14:50>> I don't like to have a conversation,
14:54a precon conversation about
14:57honesty. Like if look, if me and you
15:00don't get along, right?
15:01>> Right.
15:03I don't want to have a conversation
15:04about the fact that we both know we're
15:06not getting along.
15:07>> Cut the [ __ ]
15:07>> I want to go to the thing that's going
15:09to resolve it. I don't want to have a
15:1110-minute conversation to say, "Dude, I
15:13know
15:15>> that you don't like me or or or I don't
15:18like you." I mean, hypothetically, I
15:20don't I hate
15:21>> So, I So, the audience, here's what I
15:23have to do with these audiences here. I
15:25have to walk them through
15:26>> Loop them up first.
15:27>> Yeah. I have to walk them through what
15:29they all know to be truth.
15:32and then get to the joke.
15:34>> Yep.
15:34>> So, they have to they they do things
15:37that they think they have to do. Oh,
15:39this is this is this is oh, I have to I
15:42can't embrace this. And it's like, why
15:44can't you embrace it? Why are you doing
15:46this? You know how you feel. It's just
15:48like we both know how it's it's like I
15:53can't go through conditioning you to
15:57understand,
15:58>> right? But this area is is repressed,
16:01brother. It it just is. Not everything
16:03is for everybody. It's like sometimes,
16:05you know, the whole idea of carrying
16:07somebody or pulling somebody up, you be
16:09pulling yourself down. It's like the
16:11world spins. If I if I spin, okay, you
16:14if you're if you're a sad sack and I go,
16:16"All right, man. I'm you stay here, be
16:18sad, I'm I'm gonna keep going for both
16:21of us. Then when I come back around the
16:22second time, I go, are you ready to come
16:24with me?" and you're still sitting there
16:25like it and said, "Look, gotta go,
16:28brother. I'm sorry. I gotta leave you to
16:30[ __ ] die." So, it's like Minnesota
16:35just might not be for me. But but at the
16:37end of the day, I'm leaving a few good
16:41people behind because it
16:43>> there is some great like you know some
16:46people like that I have to perform
16:51to at best as I can.
16:54>> You come here with a half a tank man
16:55you'll be empty then you have to figure
16:57out how to fill that tank up because
16:59it's like oh man. So, I have to try to
17:01be the best I can here
17:04because there are people who want to see
17:06you, man. You know what I mean? Well, a
17:08friend of mine, Tony Roberts, a comic. I
17:10I I was I I used to have a very elitist
17:12attitude about comic,
17:13>> right?
17:14>> I I I came down off of that as a kid.
17:16Tony Roberts, he's a comic, funny guy.
17:18And he was just explaining comedy. He
17:20goes, "Yeah, man. It's like the circus,
17:22you know, man. It's like you got the
17:24trapeze dudes, you got the I go, you
17:26know, you know, you got the line
17:28tamers." I was like, "Okay." Yeah. You
17:29know, cuz I used to if if you wasn't
17:31into what I was into as a comic,
17:33>> meaning trying to trying to be a good
17:37comic for for the art.
17:39>> Yep.
17:40>> And raise the art. I I hate, you know,
17:42basically hate your guts. But he got me
17:45off of that a little bit, which it was a
17:46very simple idea was like, yeah, that's
17:48true. Not everybody is in it. I want
17:50everybody in it to be have an artistic
17:55kind of, you know, platform, a
17:57philosophical base, anything. Not just
18:00>> I'm going to run. There's some guys that
18:02it doesn't matter like this. I wouldn't
18:03that they would never say Minnesota
18:05something. They would just go out and
18:07[ __ ] do scream and then they be get
18:10the [ __ ] out of there, man. And and that
18:12has value, but it's it's hard for me to,
18:15you know, that's why I'm like reclusive
18:17when it comes to comedians. like the
18:19guys that's performing here. They
18:20probably think I'm a douche. The two
18:22guys is opening, but I just can't I just
18:25I just have no room for them.
18:27>> It's hard not
18:28>> to talk. I got into this business cuz I
18:31was a funny person and this was the the
18:34natural, you know, progression to a
18:36funny person can actually make money.
18:38There's a thing, you know, if there was
18:39no such thing as comedy, I'd just be a
18:41funny guy working at this at the
18:43supermarket or whatever.
18:44>> But comedy is supposed to be for funny
18:46people. Sometimes you you look at people
18:49who do comedy and you go where where's
18:51the root to why you do this? And I
18:54realized this comedy has nothing to do
18:56with being funny. I mean, I was
18:57hilarious till I started doing comedy.
18:59And then it's like it's it's just not
19:01even um it's
19:06look when I do a show the reason I I
19:08don't mind silence like if I was doing
19:10if if if I was if I haven't been doing
19:12it as long as I have and had the the the
19:15mindset I have in terms of I think that
19:19some you have to have someone
19:22emotionally invested in the [ __ ] So you
19:24have to have someone hate you
19:25>> angry or Yeah. and have to have someone
19:27love you is that's what it is is love
19:28and hate. That's what funny is. It's
19:30like [ __ ] you.
19:33Comedy's at somebody's expense, man. I
19:35mean, funny is at somebody's expense.
19:37You never really have a good laugh
19:39unless it's at something, right? You
19:41know, I've never laughed at a [ __ ]
19:42joke. Someone tell me a joke like I've
19:45never laughed at a [ __ ] joke like
19:47where somebody goes once there was a
19:49little kid, right? And I go, "That
19:51sucks, man.
19:52>> Nobody got hurt.
19:53>> The [ __ ] are you talking about, man?"
19:54Well, that's that that's one thing I've
19:56always liked about you, and this it's
19:57kind of uh a tangent, but you seem to
20:01thrive on making people uncomfortable in
20:02a in a in a in a way that's very funny,
20:04but yet you come off as being really
20:06likable at the end of it, which I think
20:07is a is a strange role.
20:09>> Well, it's a matter of it's just it's
20:11charm.
20:12>> It's the charm you need to get through
20:14life. I mean, I don't want to be a
20:17douche and say, "Oh, I'm charm." It's
20:18I'm charming. It's just like I I I
20:21Twitter, right? And and and
20:25You know, you know, the internet, man,
20:27has given uh too many people free reign
20:32to communicate.
20:34>> It it not everybody deserves to have a
20:37an opinion.
20:38>> At least not a public one.
20:39>> Not a public one. You you right a a
20:42quiet.
20:44When I grew up, you know, I'm 40. You
20:46know, when I came up, it was a risk. You
20:50know, great reward come with or great
20:52risk, great reward, whatever that
20:54[ __ ] saying is.
20:55>> It I get chased home by some girl's
20:58[ __ ] brothers and his friends,
21:01>> you know, cuz I'm cuz I'm trying to be
21:03funny. I get [ __ ] suspended from
21:04school,
21:05>> you know? I might even get arrested for
21:07saying something to a cop while he's
21:09doing his job.
21:10>> I say something that
21:12>> marginalizes his job and he going to
21:14arrest me too at the at the
21:17at the risk of getting arrested, right?
21:19just cuz I like to say some funny [ __ ]
21:23at at the end of the day, man.
21:27Growing up, you had to you it was risky
21:30to be funny, man. Now,
21:33>> okay, there Twitter I realized and I got
21:35like 12,000 followers on Twitter, you
21:37know, that's not a whole lot, but it's
21:39it's enough.
21:39>> That's a big audience.
21:40>> And and you know, I Twitter a lot
21:44sometimes and I Twitter none.
21:47There was people who just say [ __ ] to
21:49you
21:49>> like you guys came with respect, you
21:53know, you go through the thing, you do
21:55what you do to get the interview or
21:57whatever
21:58>> and you go, "Okay, this is this is the
22:00way, you know, you want to be approached
22:01and you know, but you get guys like on
22:03Twitter
22:04>> who just say [ __ ] not it's not
22:06charming. It's just they don't get it.
22:08They don't understand, but they have
22:10access to you." Yep.
22:11>> And I don't like how much access
22:14>> average [ __ ] have. You know
22:15what I'm saying? In high school, there
22:17were there was there was the A crowd and
22:21there was the [ __ ] B crowd. The
22:23A crowd consisted of the only way to be
22:26a crowd. You was good-looking, you was
22:28tough, you could fight really good and
22:31they go, "Oh, wow. That's [ __ ] what's
22:32his name who could fight,
22:33>> you were an athlete, or you were really
22:36funny." That's how you that those were
22:38the superstars. That was the natural
22:41Hollywood
22:42>> in in in high school. Then you had
22:44everybody else
22:46>> who shut the [ __ ] up
22:47>> who sat over there and said, "Okay,
22:51>> okay." And they either hate you, love
22:53you, but they were the audience. Yep.
22:55>> Now the audience
22:57>> has the demand
22:59>> of
23:01they want to be heard
23:03>> and they have the safety of the distance
23:05>> of the distance and they demand they
23:08think you belong to them
23:10>> and I do not belong to you. I created
23:12the thing the thing called block
23:14Mondays. You know they have to think
23:15follow Friday. I go block Mondays and
23:17trying to get that a trend where I just
23:19I just say look there are some there's
23:21some fat. I'm going to cut it off. I'm
23:23blocking you. You blocked you blocked
23:26out.
23:27>> I'm making the decisions. You're not
23:29I'mma teach you that this is not you
23:31have this is special that you have
23:32access.
23:33>> And then they go on theirs and go
23:34Patrice O'Neal is an [ __ ] He blocked
23:35me. [ __ ] you. [ __ ] I don't know you.
23:38>> I don't like you. You're blocked. I'm I
23:41never You're not gonna be able to get in
23:42contact with me. Yeah. MySpace. Couple
23:45of guys. You're a douche. [ __ ] you.
23:48You're not funny. You don't bring it.
23:50Like really really [ __ ] All
23:53right.
23:54>> Say that to me if I was sitting right
23:55next to me. Really? It's is it's not
23:57even that cuz they might there might be
23:58some gangsters that might that say it on
24:00there and and they back it up. But at
24:02the end of the day,
24:04>> you it's the it's the at the comfort
24:07zone of just you could not like you
24:10said, you couldn't if you hated Nipy
24:12Russell, [ __ ]
24:14>> you you [ __ ] couldn't just
24:17>> But now it's just like [ __ ] you. You
24:19suck, dude. Y
24:21>> and and it's always this is the internet
24:24culture
24:26>> and this is why comedy is not as funny
24:28as it used to be because the masses, you
24:32know, most of the masses aren't
24:34thinkers. They're they they're um
24:37followers.
24:38>> Yeah.
24:38>> But they're all now it's it's there's no
24:42shepherd on the internet. There's no
24:45there's no shepherd. So it's a lot of
24:47losers who push losers ahead. So there's
24:50a lot of losers in the public eye now.
24:53Back in the day, [ __ ] um
24:57>> they were power, man.
24:59>> Thumbs up, thumbs down. Jean uh uh
25:01whatever his name is,
25:04>> Joel Seagull, uh uh Michael Medv, there
25:08was some guys who was out there and if
25:11they go a movie,
25:13>> thumbs down, man. That was you were
25:16waiting like come on, give me that. Now
25:19it's a bunch of [ __ ] right? It's
25:21this one I seen the other day. It's
25:24>> you can tell it's one guy, and I say a
25:26[ __ ] cuz he's he outwardly
25:30>> loves Matt Damon. He those blue
25:32beautiful blue eyes of Matt Damon and
25:36boy, I wish Forest Whitaker could keep
25:38those shirts that he had on in that
25:39movie cuz that was the movie sucked. But
25:42let me tell you how useless these bums
25:44are. They're not. They didn't pay the
25:46cost to to have power.
25:49>> You know what the power game is in
25:51movies now? Rotten Tomatoes. It got a
25:5467%. You know what the 67%? All you
25:58loser
26:00>> uh [ __ ] uh critics.
26:02>> They don't even count you as a human.
26:04They count you as a number, as a
26:06percentage. So, you have nothing now.
26:08>> And that'll tank a movie quicker than a
26:10shitty review in a newspaper. It
26:12>> it means nothing. All it is is did you
26:14say it was good or not? I said it was
26:16good, but you're just a nothing number.
26:18You You didn't pay the cost. You're a
26:20bum.
26:21>> You're a bum. A lot of people I ban on
26:23Twitter, I call them uh I spell it super
26:28s o p e r att tendant. Super misspelled
26:31superintendent. Spelling superintendent.
26:34>> School superintendent will correct
26:35people's spelling administrator. Like,
26:37are you are you watching my Don't watch
26:39me that close. If I spelled douchebag d
26:42o s h, man. You don't [ __ ] correct
26:44me. You know what I meant? Shut up.
26:45>> Yeah. You don't play me out of context.
26:47You literal piece of [ __ ] That's why
26:48you're not me. Like, matter of fact, you
26:51you got to wait for me to have an
26:53opinion.
26:54>> You have to wait for me.
26:56>> Yeah.
26:57>> So that you can be you. You have to wait
26:59for me to take a stand and then comment
27:01on it.
27:02>> Yep.
27:02>> It's It's too much, man. Too much. A lot
27:04of people did too much. Um, too many
27:09sheep running around with no shepherds,
27:11man. Too many dummies.
27:13>> Patrice, you got a CD? No. I I can't I
27:17don't want to sit there and take your
27:19your your $20 out your hand,
27:21>> it it lessens
27:25my betterness than you.
27:28>> I think that's right.
27:29>> If you get if I take your $20 and give
27:31you some product, I'm just a I'm a
27:34nothing. I'm not special. Yep.
27:37>> You You don't No, man. You go get my
27:39[ __ ] from the store. That makes me
27:41special. You don't [ __ ] go up to
27:43Metallica and they're just
27:45>> They're just like, "Hey, we got
27:46Metallica stuff. 10 bucks, man. What a
27:50>> what? If I saw If I saw them dudes, if I
27:53saw Michael Jackson, if I saw goddamn
27:55George Carlin, George Carlin didn't sell
27:57CDs
27:59>> like and take 20 bucks." Now, look, I
28:02say this, this is why I'm very reclusive
28:04with the comedy [ __ ] cuz I sound like
28:07an idiot cuz I will be like there's
28:10people that sell their picture for $20.
28:12They take a picture and they sell it for
28:1420 bucks. I take pictures with Look, I
28:16don't I'm a I'm like a man of the people
28:19type of dude, man. And but at the end of
28:21the day, I want this what I do. I want
28:24it to be special when I walk in a
28:25building. I want people to feel like
28:27this guy's better than me.
28:28>> Yeah. No, it it's
28:29>> it is I'm I'm just I'm I'm telling you
28:32I'm not
28:33>> It's it's it's a feeling that that I
28:34think you almost you earn it when you
28:37when people are paying 30 40 bucks ahead
28:39to watch you just talk.
28:40>> Yeah.
28:41>> Shaking my hand is a big [ __ ] deal.
28:43Me reaching out to you on Twitter or
28:45MySpace. I'm not your [ __ ] I'm not
28:47your friend.
28:49>> You know I got three friends and I'm
28:50trying to cut that down.
28:53>> You know what I'm saying? I don't I
28:54don't not this thing is is it's like hey
28:56it's an easy tool
28:57>> to when people go I want to make it
28:59>> you go want to make what
29:01>> what do you want to do that's your
29:03legacy it
29:04>> hey tweets I don't do that I don't say
29:07where I'm going to be no one knows I'm
29:09in Minnesota look like I said
29:11>> the game I have to play now is try to
29:14figure out how to be on TV
29:15>> right
29:16>> you know I'm I'm working on a comedy
29:18central thing so if the pilot is good
29:20enough series goes
29:22>> yeah that will al alleviate and
29:25eliminate
29:27me having to search out in the the
29:30computer world. I I'm anti that [ __ ]
29:32even though
29:34>> Google and I mean I wouldn't have any
29:36knowledge in the last 5 years without
29:38the computer. I don't read books. Like
29:41if I want to learn about the goddamn new
29:43world order and and globalization and
29:45and and the art of war of Sunzu
29:47[ __ ]
29:49>> technology is what did it for me if I
29:51was a you know I mean I do appreciate
29:53you know that the access of it but I
29:57don't [ __ ] go dude Sunzu is a douche
30:00like I go and I go it's information
30:05>> you know I'm I'm out there dude you you
30:08type in Patrice O'Neal man
30:09>> you're busy for a There's a lot of
30:11[ __ ] [ __ ] out there, man. A lot of
30:12things, man. A lot of lot of comments.
30:14I'm walking around and there's enemies
30:16out there that I'm right next to. They I
30:19don't even know it,
30:20>> but they can go, you know, that's this
30:23world. It's like if I was sitting in
30:26here with some [ __ ] that I met that I
30:27want to try to just eat a [ __ ] a little
30:29bit cuz I'm in Minnesota,
30:32>> my girl going to find out about it cuz
30:34this [ __ ] is going to somebody's going
30:36to snap a picture over there.
30:37>> Yep.
30:38>> You know, look at Bunch of [ __ ]
30:41trying to catch you.
30:43>> Like that's what the [ __ ] is going on,
30:45man. Men,
30:47>> TMZ, the dude from G.
30:49>> What is What is so enticing about it for
30:51people? I don't understand that.
30:52>> When you decide, look, you you do this,
30:55right?
30:56>> Right.
30:56>> No one's going to encourage you. Nobody.
30:59Because I always say, look, dreams,
31:03>> it's not a dream to be a doctor.
31:05>> Right. Cuz there's an there's an
31:06absolute
31:08road path.
31:10>> There's no if you go, I'm going to be a
31:12doctor.
31:13>> People going to go, yes. Cuz there's
31:16nothing to stop you.
31:17>> Right. Absolutely.
31:19>> It's just here's me. There's doctor. I
31:21walk that straight line. It's the path
31:24of the It's not the path of the
31:26righteous. The path of the righteous is
31:28people going gh
31:29>> Yeah.
31:30>> Right.
31:31It's when you dream
31:34it.
31:36Dreaming in life is the same thing as
31:38dreaming when you sleep. If you wake up
31:40and you try to tell I tell you a dream I
31:43had.
31:45>> Oh man, look. Something happened. Uh
31:49man, it was a mu it was a a toaster.
31:52>> A boar. It was a wild boar with a
31:53unicorn horn. Right.
31:55>> I've already tuned out at that point.
31:57And then, you know, but what happened is
32:00Jay Leno was in the dream. And really,
32:03it's the same thing as going I I want to
32:06have a um I want to take my podcast
32:08show, turn it into a national
32:10phenomenon. Really, you might as well
32:12say you saw a unicorn, man. I wanted to
32:15be a comic. Look, it's a very lonely
32:17business. You know, I love my mother.
32:19She didn't support it. She thinks she
32:21did.
32:22>> All mothers did.
32:23>> She didn't.
32:24>> I wanted to be a comic. She thought I
32:26was an ass. She thought I was a She I
32:30would I would perform every month. She
32:31thought I was a lazy bum. I go I all I
32:34can do once and and the sad thing is
32:36once I shut down,
32:39you know, because you always want to
32:40please your parents and
32:42>> right
32:42>> once I shut down my uh devotion to
32:49trying to show my mother that I'm doing
32:52something worthwhile.
32:55That's when I started doing it. And and
32:57in reality, I love my mom's, but she
32:59became just a fan. Yeah. Now she tries
33:02to be mother in this game. Like she
33:03goes, "Now when you go out there and you
33:06do now, see, I think it's like I don't
33:08want to hear what you think.
33:12You should see this is the time you What
33:14do you know? You didn't know I was a
33:15comic till you saw me in the paper one
33:17day. You thought I was a dick.
33:20It's a very lonely sagging. It makes you
33:23man. And it makes you it makes you hard.
33:26And again, like I said, I love my mom's,
33:27but I have nothing her advice about
33:30this.
33:31>> I have nothing. I don't want to hear it.
33:34>> I'm making uh middle class above middle
33:38class money
33:39>> from stand up.
33:39>> It's almost like I'm a drug dealer. Like
33:41I came to Minnesota to buy drugs and I'm
33:43here for five days
33:44>> and I sell my comedy's drugs and I get
33:48drug money,
33:48>> right?
33:49>> And I leave. It's just not illegal,
33:52>> right? But that's what I'm really doing
33:54is is dealing with being in Minnesota
33:57and and then taking money from Minnesota
34:00and and going and that's it. Um
34:04it I I can't
34:07it's hard to complain about, you know,
34:10what I do, but at the end of the day,
34:13you know, you don't have to succumb to
34:17that's what I'm saying. I mean, you
34:18could you could catch me being a
34:19hypocrite cuz it's like, well, if that's
34:21the case, Patrice, why are you trying to
34:22do be on TV? Why you It does help. You
34:26know, you have an ego. Richard Jenny,
34:28whatever was wrong with him where he
34:29killed himself. Richard Jenny would
34:31could always make
34:33>> no less than half a million to a million
34:35dollars a year doing stand up. Yeah.
34:38>> The thing that interferes with you is
34:39just it's the ego where okay, I'm here
34:44and I'm in front of last night, you
34:47know, half the place is empty on a
34:50Saturday late show. You know, it [ __ ]
34:51with your ego. Makes you feel like,
34:54>> you know, you go, "Oh man, I wish I
34:56could this was more show business."
34:59>> Don't these people know I'm on [ __ ]
35:00TV.
35:01>> Like, like it's just like it that's the
35:03ego part of it. In reality,
35:06I'm a comic. I perform in front of you
35:08guys. Bye-bye. I get my money
35:11>> and I can go walk through the [ __ ]
35:12mall of America. That's a life that
35:14probably a lot of people are trade.
35:16>> Absolutely. But
35:17>> like you can't look at it like that.
35:19It's like you
35:21being in the mafia. It's like that's
35:23what it is. It's it's a this [ __ ] is
35:25being uh I'm in a gang, man. like I'm in
35:27some weird game that
35:29>> it's a strange club
35:30>> and I'm trying to be a made man
35:32>> and I might not be able to and I'm in a
35:34business where you know
35:36>> I probably can never be made. You know
35:37what I mean? Cuz I'm not Sicilian. You
35:39know what I'm saying? So I'm I'm just
35:41turning my wheels. I'm I'm a friend of
35:43I'm a friend of his and not a friend of
35:44ours. I'll probably never be. But that's
35:46you always trying to be a friend of
35:47ours. You know what I'm saying? You're
35:48always trying to
35:49>> Henry Hill of kind.
35:50>> Yeah. You trying to be in and you trying
35:53to make your mark. You trying to leave
35:54something. you trying to get gain
35:55respect.
35:57Um, some guys are just trying to buy
35:59their mama house. And the ones that's
36:00doing that, they do cruise ships. They
36:02make $20,000 for two shows on a cruise
36:05ship. For me in my life now, I'm 40 and
36:09I'm thinking if I had to do a cruise
36:11ship for the rest for my living, I would
36:13never be doing it. But there's some
36:15dudes that, you know, Finus Henderson,
36:17man, he had a run where everybody kind
36:20of knew him a little bit and then now
36:22he's on a cruise ship. You just realize
36:24you're not going to be a made guy and
36:26then you realize
36:29>> the game realizes that you want in bad
36:32power corrupts.
36:33>> If I
36:35bet you've turned down interviews like
36:39where like somebody goes, "Guys, hey,
36:41can I
36:41>> Oh, I am.
36:42>> Yeah.
36:42>> No, not you.
36:44>> And that corrupts you."
36:45>> Yeah.
36:46>> If if you go,
36:49you want what seems to be unattainable.
36:52That's what people do. I mean, people I
36:54I work very hard to to be on the
36:59outskirts of the business, but I, you
37:01know, catch catch the you know, I train
37:04myself to want to catch the money that's
37:06flying out of people's pockets in this
37:08game.
37:09>> Sure.
37:09>> I mean, this game is billion dollar
37:11game.
37:12If I got a billion dollars,
37:16chump change is a million dollars. Mhm.
37:20>> So, I'm trying to get the chump change
37:21in in this business. I take the chump
37:23change
37:24>> and keep my head up where
37:27>> they always going to get rid of chump
37:29change. So, the day I'm going, can I
37:31have this money? They'll go no. and I'll
37:35chase that money and and there's chump
37:37change around and and and and you know
37:39the business is to the left and I'm to
37:40the right catching a little chump change
37:42and still get to have, you know, my fans
37:46that that demand a certain kind of uh uh
37:50ethic out of me. I could keep that
37:52ethic, make that chump change and stay
37:55on the outskirts at night.
37:57>> You know, I should be finishing this
37:59business by now. I mean, I should be
38:00irrelevant. Let's say you guys, you
38:02know, you doing your thing um ground up,
38:05you know, you have a you have an ethic
38:06about it. you know, you come in there
38:08with with the with the [ __ ] lunchbox
38:10and the [ __ ] and you and you doing your
38:13thing. What happens is if you continue
38:15to just do your do the right thing and
38:18do your craft, what's going to happen is
38:23when we really need somebody that knows
38:26what they're doing and you got to go, I
38:28got to call these guys in Minnesota cuz
38:30they
38:30>> they put in work, man. Um, you can't
38:34call you can't replace Louis CK. The
38:37reason you can't replace Louis CK or
38:39Nick Depalo or me or Colin or or or uh
38:44or Bill Burr or
38:47you know Corey Hulcom
38:51or
38:52>> uh David Tel or
38:54Earthquake
38:56or or Rich Voss, you know,
38:59>> is cuz they took L's, man. They took
39:02some losses to be them. Louis's taken
39:06criticism, losses, and things like that
39:08to be Louis.
39:09>> Yeah.
39:09>> And so when you need a [ __ ]
39:11that's actually ready, they need
39:14somebody out there to take a loss,
39:19they go, we we don't know this guy. This
39:21guy is a copycat of Louisie. When the
39:23pressure hits, he ain't going to be a
39:24diamond. Louis is a diamond cuz he's
39:27under the pressure. Not everybody can
39:29take the pressure, man. They turn, they
39:31just become lumps of coal that just go
39:33to dust. You always get exposed.
39:35>> You get exposed. So at the end of the
39:36day, man, you know, it's like they you
39:39this this world, this country needs
39:42Louis.
39:43>> Yeah.
39:43>> You know, and when it needs me, that's
39:45when I'm going to hit cuz it then you
39:47you'll try to have a bunch of people
39:48that try to replace you, but you it
39:50can't be done.
39:51>> I'm out of the trenches. I don't trench
39:53no I don't do any
39:54>> soldier work no more in comedy. I don't
39:58is because
40:00um you don't want your relevancy is
40:02based on on on word of mouth now you
40:05know that's how I stay in the business
40:06is that people tell their friends and
40:09tell their other friends and tell their
40:11friends that you know I'm I'm I put in
40:14work I there's there's stories now about
40:18the work I put in in the trenches you
40:20know and then now I'm out there I'm in
40:22Minnesota and nobody knows and I'm
40:25making my money and And I'm trying to
40:27get to I I don't want to It's just like,
40:30you know, people ask me my favorite
40:31comics in the world is is is Prior,
40:34Carlin,
40:35uh Rich Prior, George Carlin, and then
40:38there's everybody else is three. It's
40:39like, and the reason being, you I talked
40:41to a friend of mine and he's just like,
40:43"Oh man, I'm tired of that [ __ ] [ __ ]
40:45man. I'm tired of that Carlin Prior
40:47[ __ ] man. I'm just It's like I I I know
40:49what you feel, but the the fact is is
40:52you can't be it's like it's irrefutable.
40:56They're they're two best. And it's
40:57because of the of the journey, man.
41:00People ask me, you know, did they
41:02inspire me? I don't get inspired by Carl
41:04and Prior. They make you not want to do
41:06comedy. See, there's a bunch of comics
41:08out right now that make it people go,
41:10"Shit, I can do that."
41:12>> Yeah. I want people I want be like Bill
41:14Hicks. I'm just going to be angry. No,
41:15Bill Hicks was a [ __ ] miserable
41:16bastard for most of his life.
41:18>> You can't beat Bill Hicks.
41:19>> Not
41:19>> Bill Hicks was righteous, man.
41:22>> He was a He was a pained dude.
41:24>> It seems like Prior um Carlin and then
41:27Bill Hicks. Sam Kenson is kind of always
41:29the the measuring stick. If somebody
41:31yells, they're the next Sam Kenisonson.
41:32If somebody's uh you know,
41:34>> but there's nobody there's no yelling
41:35now. There's a bunch of there's a bunch
41:38of again, it's internet
41:40>> personalities. It's a bunch of dead
41:45dead dead pan,
41:49humorless.
41:53Um,
41:54what's the word? Um,
41:58they look at society like a bunch of
42:02just a bunch of antidotes and opinions
42:06and there's no real emotion involved.
42:09It's easy to listen to. It's it's like a
42:12right now it's like a bad like we we all
42:15agree that probably the 80s is is a or
42:17maybe the 90s I don't know whichever
42:19time there was it was a bad period for
42:21music.
42:22>> It's a bad period for comedy. It just it
42:25is it's there's a lot of guys that um
42:27are getting decent jobs as writers and
42:30you know you look at like the Daily
42:32Show, right? Yeah. And just what they
42:33have it's just a smarmy
42:38>> it's a smarmy army. Everything is, hey,
42:41I'm I'm a it's the dead Thorin Sand
42:44Sander belly and I'm
42:46>> I'm going to say some real stuff to make
42:49you really dude about to get that joke
42:53out.
42:53>> Really? I'm stupid. Huh? It's all about
42:57What's it all about, man? Really? If
43:00someone doesn't like you, at least
43:01that's energy. Yeah.
43:03>> You know, I mean, I realized a while ago
43:04I'm not an entertainer. Like, that's
43:06what I realized.
43:08I'm not an entertain I'm not I don't
43:10want you to have a good time at all
43:12cost. Like I don't really don't give a
43:15[ __ ] Like I don't like I want you to
43:17laugh, but I really
43:19>> If you ain't laughing, dude, trust me. I
43:22don't have
43:23>> uh any cards that I can take out to get
43:27you laughing, man. I It ain't going.
43:28This is what I do. If you ain't with it,
43:30then we are in deep [ __ ]
43:33>> I can adjust here and there. I met a kid
43:36uh a couple of weeks ago. He was opening
43:38for me and I was like he's really good
43:40too. His name is um
43:44oh man his name is something good Jason
43:47good I think he's out of New York good
43:49comic man and I saw him I was like you
43:51mean you got this guy because
43:54>> he was hosting I was like he's not he
43:55wasn't a good host because he like some
43:58guys have hosting in their blood meaning
44:01it's a skill where it's a very giving
44:04thing you have to be unselfish he was a
44:06bad host because he he had angst he had
44:09real angst and he's really you feel. He
44:11was a real kid and a real guy and but he
44:14had the the the disease of of uh smarmy
44:19cynic guy
44:20>> who really it's a it's a it's a scare
44:23technique to like pretend that you don't
44:26give a [ __ ]
44:27>> Yeah.
44:28>> And it makes the crowd, oh wow, he's so
44:30crazy. You don't give a [ __ ] But this
44:32kid was really good. And I said, "Man,
44:34if you explore
44:37why what made you do comedy, if you just
44:40dig into your funny
44:43and use and use your material and your
44:45funny, man, you'll be you're a great
44:47comic. I thought that kid was really
44:49strong." Like, you would go at the top
44:51of his game, you'd be like, "Man, it'd
44:52be hard to follow this guy because they
44:54they'll be into his into his vibe, you
44:57know? He'll make he'll keep you on your
44:58toes." And I'm looking for guys like
45:00that to keep you on your toes. Look,
45:01there's guys out there that people are
45:04pushing out there to be great. And I go,
45:06look, I I'll follow 28 of those
45:07[ __ ] because they ain't talking
45:09about [ __ ]
45:11>> The crowd is not emotionally invested in
45:15what they're saying. It means nothing.
45:17It's just
45:18>> it's a nice transition, but it's just
45:20you're
45:21>> It's like look at [ __ ] Nirvana. That
45:24[ __ ] made one album that the
45:26whole world knew. Still plays it.
45:29>> They still play it. He's been dead what
45:3116 [ __ ] years or something.
45:33>> A lot of years, man. And
45:35>> they're still trying.
45:36>> It He was a righteous [ __ ] man.
45:39That that album is not jargon. It's not
45:42horshit. You get some guys, man. You go,
45:44this guy made six albums. I don't know.
45:46What is he talking about? What are you
45:49talking about, dude? Like, there's a lot
45:50of guys who was a mixture of Kurt Cobain
45:53without the tendance. I said, "There's
45:55no great." I told somebody, [ __ ] I
45:58think it was at Comedy Central in a
45:59meeting. I said, "There's nobody great
46:01who wasn't [ __ ] up, man."
46:03>> Yeah. Right. People People aspire to the
46:05life and then they and then and then
46:06they they don't realize how actually
46:08tedious and [ __ ] miserable it can be.
46:11>> Anybody in in in art, any on any level,
46:14an artist,
46:15>> they'll never go, "I'm insane.
46:18>> There's nobody.
46:20I'm insane, man. I'm like I can't I I'm
46:23like I try to not be cuz it makes life
46:26easier,
46:27>> but I'm like I'm insane, man. I'm I'm
46:30insane. I'm telling you. I know. Guy
46:32Colin Quinn is insane.
46:35>> Nick Depollo is insane.
46:38Norton is insane.
46:41>> Opie and Anthony are insane. Howard
46:43Stern is insane. They're insane.
46:46Everybody that is pressing things and
46:50pressing buttons and making people
46:52uncomfortable and
46:55tell insane dude I know Dave tell he's
46:58insane.
46:59>> Do you have to have that that inner kind
47:02of that not
47:03>> you don't want it. See insane people
47:05don't want it. I don't want that. I go
47:07through spots where creatively I'm like
47:10um I'm bored myself have didn't write a
47:14lot.
47:15I can hide my lack of writing by adding
47:18a little bit new to some old [ __ ]
47:20>> Yeah.
47:21>> But I'm not really being prolific. And
47:22then those are those are downtimes for
47:24me, but I can still fake it.
47:26>> And I could just stay with that forever.
47:29But,
47:31you know, I demand
47:34uh I demand uh uh not prolific, but I
47:39demand out of myself. Um
47:42what's the word I'm looking for, man?
47:43like I I I I have to
47:47stay proactive.
47:49>> Yeah.
47:49>> In a ahead of everybody, you know, I
47:54have to stay ahead of it. I have to
47:57>> I have to attack my own angst. You know,
48:00you know, the the Haiti thing, I'm
48:02watching it. I'm not looking at it
48:03going, I want to, hey, let me be the
48:05first one to make a joke, but let me be
48:07the first one to explore on this angle
48:10that this is [ __ ]
48:11>> Yeah. that. All right, let's just be
48:14honest for a minute and say, you know,
48:16like, okay, people go, well, my thing,
48:18my my stick is honesty. Um,
48:22it's it's not honesty. You could just be
48:24honest. Like, I can go, hey, man, you
48:26got blonde hair and it's in a ponytail.
48:27It's like people think that that's what
48:29it it's. It's not it's like
48:32>> it's it's an internal social honesty.
48:34It's like
48:38>> it's like I it's I I don't say this all
48:41it's like okay you you look you look at
48:46the news you know and people don't want
48:50to admit that they controlled by the
48:52news
48:52>> right
48:53>> so the honesty of it is just let's be
48:55honest you didn't give a [ __ ] about
48:57Haiti like stop be just that's all I'm
49:00saying like and it's not about honesty
49:04in terms of don't lie. It's just like
49:07>> don't be it'll be better for you
49:10>> to admit it than to than to have me
49:12pretend
49:13>> that I don't know you're thinking it.
49:14>> You're going to have me live your life.
49:18>> I live by context. I I know some I know
49:22evil when I see it, dude. I just know. I
49:24mean, there's some dudes look Look, one
49:26of my boys said, "Nigga, white guy." He
49:28said I I I told him his wife looks
49:30delicious. And he went, "Nigga." But
49:34>> it was funny to me how he said it cuz he
49:37wasn't calling me a [ __ ] He was using
49:38[ __ ] in the context of [ __ ]
49:40>> you know?
49:41>> Well, that's like that's like the the
49:42the usage of the word [ __ ] right?
49:44Like like if you can like you or I or
49:46anybody that could say that just go like
49:48like
49:48>> it doesn't always mean I'm you're a guy
49:50who's going to [ __ ] another guy in his
49:52[ __ ] and I hate you.
49:53>> It's just like stop being a [ __ ] Stop
49:56being a [ __ ]
49:56>> That's what it always means.
49:57>> Stop being wag. The word [ __ ] is a
49:59great word, man. Beautiful. It's just a
50:00symmetric.
50:01>> It's a great right. Symmetric. [ __ ] is
50:03a great word. Like [ __ ] [ __ ] it's
50:06just it could be its own language.
50:10>> It doesn't even have to be something
50:11that's associated with insulting black
50:13folks. It's just it's it's so, you know,
50:16there's some foreign words that just
50:18resonate
50:20>> uh in all languages. is, you know,
50:22Mexican is probably uh uh uh uh, you
50:26know, hey, Buenos Diaz or something like
50:28Buenos Diaz is just it's just something
50:30that we know.
50:31>> Uh, you know, I don't know about China,
50:34but it's just like
50:35>> Jing.
50:36>> Yeah. Whatever. There's probably a word,
50:38you know, whatever. There's words that
50:41resonate just through. You might not
50:42know any other word but that,
50:46>> you know, [ __ ] is a is a great word.
50:48[ __ ] is a like our slang is is pretty
50:51cool. I want to meet the people
50:54who were not racist when it was hard,
50:57when racism was the right thing. Now
51:00racism is the wrong thing and it's easy
51:04to not be racist.
51:05>> Right?
51:06>> But this is what I'm saying about being
51:07sheep. People, how many people during
51:11slavery time said it's just what it is?
51:15It it was wrong. But that's what you
51:18really you really believe to yourself
51:21that you're just doing what you're
51:23supposed to do.
51:24>> People like that,
51:26>> they I don't want them around me. I I'll
51:28entertain them, but I don't want you to
51:30be around me like really as a human
51:32being where you go, that's just
51:35>> that's what it is. I just following
51:38doing what I'm told to do. I I'm a IRS
51:41guy who's going to remove you from your
51:43home.
51:45That's what I do.
51:47>> If I was white, I'd want race to
51:49disappear, too.
51:50>> Cuz it's it's it's the only thing that
51:53actually makes life uncomfortable for a
51:55white person is racism. Other than that,
51:57man, it's pretty easy being a white
51:59person. Other than the fact you pay your
52:00bills and you got to do what everything
52:02other people do, but as a group, the
52:05only thing that's really a a burden is
52:07race.
52:08>> The accusation of possibly being racist.
52:11And and that's the thing. It's like but
52:13when racism was right, it wasn't. So it
52:15was beautiful being. So right now, you
52:18know, there's a lot of white people um
52:20who really believe that it's the plight
52:21of the white man right now that white
52:23men are losing. Really? What 10 years?
52:26What you lost your job to a [ __ ]
52:28Really? Is it bothers you? You don't Do
52:31you watch TV? [ __ ] face. That's why this
52:33the people hate this hate history in
52:35this country. They just want black
52:37people to go, "Oh, get over it. Get over
52:40what, man?" For real. Like if I
52:44don't if I get over racism, if I if I
52:47don't acknowledge the history
52:50>> of of our relationship with this country
52:53being black, I don't have a history,
52:57>> right?
52:58>> My history in this country is
53:00oppression.
53:02It's it's horror and it's [ __ ]
53:04sadness. What What else do I have? That
53:07means I have to actually start my life
53:10right now and not look back at
53:13yesterday.
53:14>> Only can look forward. I can't be
53:16historical. But if you're going to tell
53:18at the black folks, you got to tell at
53:19the Jews, Chinese people, you got to
53:21tell it. You got to tell everybody,
53:24don't don't embrace history. I can't
53:26never see another world. The History
53:28Channel has to go,
53:29>> right?
53:29>> I don't want to see no more World War II
53:31[ __ ] I don't want to see no more
53:33Vietnam [ __ ] It's like we got to all
53:35start from here. Yeah.
53:37>> And do the do the black [ __ ] Like we
53:39get that [ __ ] and we all all our
53:41memories erase and we just go forward.
53:43It it's it's it's unfair to do that. But
53:46at the end of the day, I've learned a
53:48lot of things from from I've been a lot
53:50of places and I've lived in Boston.
53:53White culture and it's like look man, I
53:55don't I'm not saying you guys are white.
53:57You just have white skin. White is a is
53:59an entire it's a fluent
54:01>> Yeah. It's a mindset
54:02>> concept. You know what I'm saying? And
54:03it's like, you know, people who are
54:06white, they they just don't care. They
54:10do not care. They don't want to hear it.
54:12They're unreasonable, unfair. They just
54:15want the good old days where a [ __ ]
54:17said yes and no. They don't they're not
54:19prepared to deal with,
54:23you know, um an an intelligent uh black
54:28people. White people cannot help us with
54:31healing from racism. Cuz you got to
54:33understand um
54:36you're the enemy because of your skin.
54:38See, you got to understand your skin
54:40>> is like Hitler's mustache to the Jews.
54:44>> Why? It's a self that mustache is
54:48vilified,
54:48>> right?
54:49>> Nazis were vilified. It's illegal to be
54:52a Nazi. Um,
54:54uh, I use always use Jews as a as a
54:57barometer, as a as a, you know, as a as
55:00a mirror to black people's thing.
55:04>> Egyptians, man, they had a villain. It
55:06was Pharaoh
55:07>> and they had a savior was Moses was the
55:10messenger and the prophet and God
55:14freed them. God
55:16>> and where was
55:17>> and destroyed the and destroyed the
55:19villain.
55:20Um and and you go up to Hitler,
55:25Hitler was the the devil
55:28and he was defeated and and when he was
55:32defeated the his whole ideology was
55:36vilified. You are a criminal, right?
55:38>> You [ __ ] you. If you had anything to do
55:40with this, you were criminals, man. You
55:43were put to death. You were put in jail.
55:46You are still to this day hunted. you
55:49are you are a piece of [ __ ]
55:52So that's why Jews are able to live with
55:55Germans because
55:58it it's it it was compartmentalized. the
56:01evil was
56:03>> this is it
56:04>> was to that area and that yeah
56:06>> you these guys were so that's why I can
56:08talk to a if I'm a Jew I could talk to a
56:10German who had nothing to do with Nazis
56:12and go
56:13>> cool man you're a cool guy these
56:15[ __ ] right
56:16>> are evil
56:17>> black people all of you are evil white
56:21is evil man
56:22>> we were freed right after all of that
56:24[ __ ] it was like hey nice talking to you
56:27not only you're free but we still hate
56:30you as if you're slaves
56:31We hate the fact you're free. Um,
56:35what we did is not vilified. You have to
56:38live next door to me. Even though I I I
56:41separated your family. I I killed your
56:43babies. I beat you to death. Um, I made
56:46you work for free, which made this
56:48country the rich the rich country it is
56:50at this day. Um, free work. You know, I
56:53got to keep I make you goddamn, you
56:56know, if I I got 10 I got $20 to buy
57:00shoes, but if I just tell you make my
57:02shoes,
57:03>> I keep my 20 and I get
57:04>> I keep my 20 and I got shoes. It's just
57:07nothing but money, money, money, money.
57:10And and so you go go [ __ ] go run
57:13free.
57:13>> Enjoy the freedom.
57:14>> Enjoy the freedom. And we're running
57:16around with the still the same hatred
57:18except for we're free. and and and and
57:21it just makes you sad because for real
57:25for real as a people there's really no
57:28no good goddamn excuse why people hate
57:30black people so much and being black is
57:32that you know I walk it's it's just it's
57:34the same reason I'm hated for being
57:35black is the same reason I hate a white
57:37person for being white it's the skin you
57:39know you there's you know if you have a
57:41black friend man that [ __ ] is
57:42some one of your closest best friends
57:44but he's black and the only thing that's
57:46separating you guys from being
57:48completely utterly
57:50a synergetic unit is the skin.
57:54>> The the the skin is the war. It's the
57:57war is the skin. And you got to take
57:59time to learn each person. But the the
58:01reality of it is why black people are so
58:03sad is because
58:07it's it's we we what can we get over?
58:10It's like we have nothing but misery and
58:15we look man. We should be the worst
58:17insurgents
58:18>> ever. We should be kid I should kill
58:21every white person I see.
58:23>> I should I should hijack buses and
58:26hijack planes and fly them in [ __ ]
58:28>> Nobody black does that. Nobody. We out
58:31we might rob a liquor store, rape a
58:33[ __ ] kill a [ __ ] whatever.
58:35Gang violence. Really, that's all you
58:37got to deal with from us. We should be
58:40goddamn murdering everybody. But we're
58:42not. And this country is so [ __ ] foul
58:45to black people.
58:47Really? You go for why though? [ __ ]
58:49why. If anybody I'm telling you, if
58:52anybody is a victim in this country,
58:55it's black folk. We really are victims.
58:57People are are uh afraid. Golden
59:00handcuffs are very important. If I pay
59:02you $20 million,
59:05I not only buy your ability, I buy I buy
59:08your ideology. You shut up. You don't.
59:10That's why, you know, you get these
59:12basketball players. Why is why are there
59:13no political black athletes? None. None.
59:18>> Like when Rush Limbaugh tried to buy
59:20whatever and they say he can't he can't
59:22buy, he's racist. I go, really? Do you
59:25think the owner of Pittsburgh Steelers,
59:28that [ __ ] 90 year old white guy,
59:32>> you don't think he hates [ __ ] man?
59:34It's just money, man. And and we play
59:36and we make that dough. Money keeps you
59:39quiet. So you that's that's what golden
59:41handcuffs are. It just it's something
59:42that makes you go, I don't want no
59:44trouble. I just want my money. Right.
59:46But there should be political athletes,
59:48political entertainers to to explain.
59:50Look, I I know that I made it or
59:53whatever, but let me let me make sure
59:56you understand, dude, that this this is
59:58this is hardcore, man. Uh look, a lot of
1:00:01reparations, show business, man.
1:00:03Entertainment is is a lot of it. It
1:00:06really could be the reparation for black
1:00:08people because we we
1:00:11a lot of people love being entertained
1:00:13by black folks. It is what it is, man.
1:00:14You cannot
1:00:16really have really great white
1:00:18entertainment, right?
1:00:19>> It's just like, you know, you watch uh
1:00:22uh Desperate Housewives and [ __ ] but
1:00:23after you watch that [ __ ] for a while,
1:00:24you be like, "Damn, I want to watch I
1:00:27watch NBA or I want to watch
1:00:29>> BET for a second. I want to see a rapper
1:00:31or some [ __ ] at the But that's really
1:00:34reparations, man. is that I can I can
1:00:36actually get up on stage and say
1:00:38something that might help
1:00:41uh change the cuz I feel how I feel.
1:00:43Just cuz I'm I'm I seem to be, you know,
1:00:46I'm fly first class and I stay at a
1:00:48hotel, a nice hotel and I do this show,
1:00:52I still have the the pain of it. You
1:00:55know, sometime it takes a lot for me to
1:00:57get up in front of a lot of white people
1:01:00>> and be funny
1:01:02>> and and you know, and be and make you
1:01:05laugh and just not just go go [ __ ]
1:01:09yourself, man.
1:01:10>> And this is this kind of a tangent also,
1:01:12but people that know you know you as a
1:01:16comic. I think there's a a people
1:01:18compartment like I think there's I think
1:01:19there is people that strive to be black
1:01:21comics or the Latino comic or the
1:01:24>> well you make a lot of money like that
1:01:26have a particular
1:01:28>> thing a niche man I mean look at the
1:01:29redneck thing Mexican uh if you have a
1:01:32niche man if you if you have an absolute
1:01:35>> like these this is who follows me
1:01:38>> uh which tells you the se the separation
1:01:40of it all it tells you it tells you if
1:01:42you if you work separately look it
1:01:45anybody in this world who's ever tried
1:01:48to galvanize people
1:01:50>> right
1:01:50>> into one have been murdered man. Oh sure
1:01:53you can't you can't do the right thing
1:01:55in this country. There's just something
1:01:56deeper deeper by the powers that be. You
1:01:59do not want um people to absol to to to
1:02:04to galvanize and love each other, man.
1:02:07It's dangerous.
1:02:08>> Somehow somehow, you know, look, it
1:02:11starts with Jesus, man. You you you get
1:02:13smoked, man. You get offed if you try to
1:02:17if people you if they see you as a
1:02:19legitimate threat to to build uh
1:02:23relationships, man. Um, that's why I'm
1:02:27glad I'm under the radar, dude. In 1998,
1:02:30I try to be famous, where I did the
1:02:32right, try to do all the right things.
1:02:34And then, and and that didn't happen.
1:02:37>> And I didn't feel bad cuz it didn't
1:02:39happen. I felt bad cuz I I
1:02:41>> I went off the path, right?
1:02:43>> I went to the path of let me make it.
1:02:47>> And it, you know,
1:02:50>> well, it's, you know, if you
1:02:51>> It hurt my spirit. younger you get, you
1:02:54know, I might have said I wouldn't have
1:02:55did web junk 20,
1:02:58>> you know. I mean, you get older, you
1:03:00don't know what to do, right? You know
1:03:01when
1:03:02>> But is there anything that in your in
1:03:03your heart of hearts that couldn't pay
1:03:05you to do
1:03:05>> [ __ ] just intrinsically
1:03:11>> anything where I probably anything where
1:03:13I I mean talking now probably anything
1:03:15where I endorse
1:03:17um
1:03:20government like I endorse
1:03:22>> right
1:03:23>> like a candy
1:03:24>> like just like almost in a drug dealer
1:03:26way where I sell something that kills
1:03:29people.
1:03:30>> Yeah. I probably wouldn't do that. I
1:03:32probably wouldn't. You know, a lot of
1:03:34news guys do that. A lot of people they
1:03:36just they just they'll sell and do
1:03:38things because they're told to do
1:03:40something to kill and they don't care if
1:03:42people die. I'm sure you catch me being
1:03:43a hypocrite if you do enough [ __ ]
1:03:46>> studying. I mean, but
1:03:47>> I mean I don't I I don't want to I don't
1:03:50want to
1:03:52you I don't want to hurt anybody. You
1:03:53know what I'm saying? like, you know, I
1:03:56don't want to do anything that
1:03:59definitely misleads people, you know?
1:04:01>> Right.
1:04:02>> I have a conscience, you know? Sometimes
1:04:04that that slows you up having a
1:04:06conscience. I've said no to a lot of
1:04:07[ __ ] brother. I mean, I I've said no to
1:04:09a lot of things, man. It's all about
1:04:11your internal code. I don't write jokes
1:04:14down because it's like, okay, if I take
1:04:16a month off, you know,
1:04:19>> uh the stuff that I forget is stuff that
1:04:22is not relevant anymore. That means I
1:04:24moved on from it as a person. I outgrew
1:04:27it because I don't remember it. So the
1:04:29stuff I remember, I do it and then I
1:04:31have to write new stuff
1:04:33>> to uh supplement uh the old [ __ ] that's
1:04:36gone because it's like, you know, you
1:04:38don't you might have a great joke and
1:04:40you just want to hang on to it.
1:04:41>> But really, it's just it's if it's not
1:04:43there,
1:04:43>> it's not there's no relevancy to it.
1:04:45>> Yeah. It's time to move on. You grew up.
1:04:47I'm 40 now. I can't do the joke that
1:04:49killed when I was 28.
1:04:50>> Means it doesn't mean as much. Yeah.
1:04:53>> Doesn't mean the same. It's like I'm I'm
1:04:54a different human being. So I I have to
1:04:56my jokes have to be at the same growth
1:05:00level as me as a human being.
1:05:02>> You know, I can't have I can't have four
1:05:04years ago jokes. And I'm I'm advanced
1:05:09four years of my life, but I'm still
1:05:11doing four four years ago jokes. So that
1:05:14means I'm not Art doesn't imitate life.
1:05:16If I take your [ __ ] that's rape. Like
1:05:19if I if you don't give me what I want
1:05:21willingly, if I take it, that's a crime.
1:05:24But women take from you all the time
1:05:28your time, your conversation, your your
1:05:31your
1:05:34physicality. They they expect it and
1:05:36they demand it.
1:05:38>> And that's rape. If I'm want to get off
1:05:40the phone and you want to keep me on the
1:05:42phone,
1:05:42>> you're stealing my phone.
1:05:43>> You're raping me. You know, you know
1:05:46what I'm saying? So that was one of my
1:05:47favorite things I've ever said,
1:05:49>> right?
1:05:50>> But I said it, it's done.
1:05:51>> Yep.
1:05:52>> Yeah.
1:05:52>> I think that takes a lot of balls for a
1:05:54lot of comics to just actually, you
1:05:55know, knowingly that if they get into
1:05:57trouble or if something's not working,
1:05:58they they have go-to things they can go
1:06:00to.
1:06:00>> I mean, it's like, you know, being in
1:06:02the lunchroom, man, if you was funny as
1:06:03a kid, you know, if you come and say the
1:06:06same thing you said yesterday in the
1:06:07lunchroom, you're like, they're like,
1:06:08>> and it happens way.
1:06:09>> What do you Did you just do
1:06:11>> Did you just do your act yesterday?
1:06:13You're doing your act again. Like they
1:06:15just expect you to just be a funny dude
1:06:17and [ __ ] That's it.
1:06:19>> Sometimes you get that depressed thing
1:06:20where you go, you know, I wish it was
1:06:24important to more people. You know, I
1:06:26wish I
1:06:27>> self-pity thing. Yeah. Where you
1:06:28>> I really want more people to I'd be
1:06:31happier if more people
1:06:34>> knew who I was.
1:06:34>> Knew who I was.
1:06:35>> Do you get that too?
1:06:36>> I just would be happier. I think I'm
1:06:39thinking that if I was a vegetable and I
1:06:42was a Brussels sprout. Yeah. Yeah.
1:06:44>> And I was going, man, I know people love
1:06:46Brussels sprouts.
1:06:47>> Yeah. I just
1:06:48>> I just have to get out to the people,
1:06:50but you go, you know what? People might
1:06:52not like Brussels sprouts, man.
1:06:57>> I might have what I have. I don't I
1:07:00think because I see
1:07:03>> the the laughter and the reaction from
1:07:06people who love me, and I never want to
1:07:08turn my back on the people who actually
1:07:10enable me to exist.
1:07:12>> That's good. You should hold on to that.
1:07:13>> Yeah. But I'm But I see their reaction.
1:07:17I see the people that I that I do touch.
1:07:20>> I touch them on such a real level
1:07:23>> that I go, there's no way I can be this
1:07:27irrelevant in terms of socially
1:07:30irrelevant in terms of number. This kid
1:07:32opened up for me. He's a fan of mine,
1:07:34but he's a comic, but he he he revealed
1:07:37himself to be a real fan.
1:07:39>> Yeah. Um and uh we talked and um I think
1:07:44he's been wondering
1:07:45>> about you
1:07:46>> about me like going why he watches I get
1:07:48that
1:07:48>> and goes why cuz I think a lot of people
1:07:51feel
1:07:52>> um there's people out there that go if
1:07:55Mark doesn't do it how can I do like
1:07:59they need you to make it so that they
1:08:01believe that they can also I'm in that
1:08:04category like they go why isn't they try
1:08:06to really go well why isn't Patrice this
1:08:08Oh, and they they try to go, "Oh, that's
1:08:10why." But really, there's a lot of
1:08:12people in the business who are terrible
1:08:15human beings. I'm I'm not a terrible
1:08:17human being. I'm trying to be honest cuz
1:08:18I I know that I have skeletons. I know
1:08:20that I have issues. I know that I have
1:08:22uh things in my life. When I'm bombing,
1:08:26the worst thing to ever do is try to not
1:08:28bomb. The best thing to do is take
1:08:31everybody
1:08:32to die. Everyone dies.
1:08:35>> I don't I'm not dying. You're going to
1:08:37die.
1:08:38>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah,
1:08:38>> I'm not going to try to win you back
1:08:41because I notice about people
1:08:43>> people are when power corrupts. When an
1:08:46audience sees that you're struggling and
1:08:48then you're trying not to struggle and
1:08:50you need them not to struggle, they get
1:08:53worse. They don't get better to try to
1:08:55help you dig yourself. They want to put
1:08:57the dirt on your grave and watch you
1:08:59fail. So I go, you know, well, guess
1:09:01what? You're going to watch yourself.
1:09:04You everyone's going to [ __ ] be
1:09:06miserable. that and and and when there's
1:09:08hecklers in the audience who are letting
1:09:11and and then I I don't get mad at the
1:09:12hecklers. I get mad at the people.
1:09:14You're going to allow this guy to ruin
1:09:17our relationship. You know this is going
1:09:19nowhere. You know that I'm finished with
1:09:21him. Yet you won't have him removed. You
1:09:25You'll let this piece of [ __ ] [ __ ] up
1:09:28your You know what? You're getting what
1:09:30you [ __ ] deserve. You're you're
1:09:32letting it happen. You [ __ ] weak
1:09:36people. I love honest [ __ ] man. I
1:09:39generally don't like what women are.
1:09:43>> I generally don't like
1:09:47living in a world where
1:09:49being what a man is is is is a horrible
1:09:53thing. And no matter what a woman is,
1:09:57it's a wonderful thing. This is what
1:09:59they're doing. They are the society.
1:10:02They're bringing men down and women are
1:10:06up, but they don't understand women are
1:10:09getting their their queue from men.
1:10:13Meaning, so if you're a woman and you're
1:10:14going, I want to be the most successful
1:10:16whatever I want to be. You're looking at
1:10:19the most successful man. You're
1:10:20competing mentally with men. I want to
1:10:22get the most. Women aren't going, I want
1:10:24to be. Why don't women think in terms of
1:10:26the king and queen system? It's a
1:10:28beautiful system. The system is if I'm a
1:10:31man, okay, and I see a [ __ ] bum
1:10:33woman, a woman has nothing. She dumb
1:10:36[ __ ] If I marry her, she's now the
1:10:38highest level she can be. She's the
1:10:40queen. You can't get higher than the
1:10:42queen. It's a great position, right?
1:10:44>> It's the baddest [ __ ] in the land, but
1:10:47the queen is the king's [ __ ] She can't
1:10:49she but here's the reverse and this is
1:10:52why these dominant women who can't find
1:10:55happiness is because the queen in this
1:10:58system if it's just the queen right and
1:11:00the queen of England is the queen
1:11:02because her father didn't have any sons
1:11:04so she he didn't have a king to take us
1:11:06so she had to his his heir was a woman
1:11:09so now she's the queen with no king
1:11:12>> when she gets married that guy is not
1:11:16the king he's a [ __ ] He's the queen's
1:11:19husband
1:11:21who doesn't get elevated to his highest
1:11:23position.
1:11:23>> Right?
1:11:24>> A a a man at his highest position helps
1:11:28a woman be at her highest position. A
1:11:31highest position woman who has a lower
1:11:33man can't be happy. It's nature. It's
1:11:36[ __ ] nature. Every time I talk, I go,
1:11:39"This is ridiculous." But I, you know, I
1:11:41have a woman who who has been around me
1:11:44a long time.
1:11:44>> That's This is a woman you you were
1:11:46with.
1:11:46>> I'm with now. I mean, my my queen, my my
1:11:50woman
1:11:51>> who in every woman's fashion is trying
1:11:54to take me down.
1:11:55>> It's like Valkyrie. Operation Valkyrie.
1:11:57These [ __ ]
1:11:59>> they hate being women, man. More or
1:12:01less. I try to help my girl. I have to
1:12:03think of analogy every day. I know
1:12:04you're very good at it. If you're an
1:12:06animal, okay, if you're a great white
1:12:09shark,
1:12:09>> okay,
1:12:09>> there's a woman great white sharks and
1:12:11there's men great white sharks.
1:12:12>> To every other animal, uh, great white
1:12:15sharks are just vicious. No other animal
1:12:17looks at a great white shark and go, "Uh
1:12:18oh, here comes the girl version." Yeah.
1:12:20Uh oh. Like, yeah. A lot of men, okay,
1:12:23we go and try to date within our
1:12:25species. Most male great whites
1:12:27>> Yeah.
1:12:28>> say, "Oh, wow. Here go a girl. I'm my
1:12:30mother."
1:12:31>> Yeah.
1:12:31>> Right.
1:12:32>> But women go,
1:12:33>> "Yeah,
1:12:34>> I'm I hate the way um great whites treat
1:12:40the woman great white."
1:12:41>> Yeah. So, I'm going to now date these
1:12:44penguins or these seals who look at me
1:12:48and they run in fear
1:12:50>> and I'm going to catch one and I'm not
1:12:51going to eat it. I'm just going to play
1:12:53around with it and have this particular
1:12:55animal who looks at me with this fear
1:12:57and reverence
1:12:58>> just go, "Oh my god, you didn't kill
1:13:00me." "Yeah, I didn't kill you." Because,
1:13:02you know, that's why these gorgeous
1:13:03women date these weak men. They're doing
1:13:05it because they go, "I'm not going to
1:13:08sit here and deal with this other great
1:13:10white." So what happens though is they
1:13:12they're dating their food and after a
1:13:14while they go
1:13:16>> I [ __ ] hate this guy. I hate what he
1:13:19is. He lets me do anything I want. He
1:13:22[ __ ] I talk to him like he's a piece
1:13:24of [ __ ]
1:13:25>> I spit at him and he just does nothing.
1:13:28I'm going to eat him.
1:13:30>> Then she's going, "How do I feel like a
1:13:32woman?"
1:13:33>> You [ __ ] date this man. Yeah. Great
1:13:35white. And you go and you go [ __ ] with
1:13:36him. And this great white goes, "Hey
1:13:37[ __ ] look. Don't talk to me like that.
1:13:39I don't let no [ __ ] girl sharks treat
1:13:41me like that, [ __ ] Yeah, I got to deal
1:13:43with [ __ ] trying to hunt me. I got to
1:13:45deal with other man sharks trying to
1:13:47bite me. I got to deal with you, [ __ ]
1:13:48With your mouth. That music ain't yours.
1:13:51That's mine, [ __ ] I'm I'm type
1:13:54I'm top of the food chain. I do a old
1:13:56joke where it's like, uh, you know,
1:13:59she's been with me for eight years. I've
1:14:00been with her for five. And and and it's
1:14:03like I didn't know we were together at
1:14:04that time, but you know how it is. So I
1:14:06she's she's been living truth for a long
1:14:09time where she's at first it was
1:14:12charming to her. Now she's trying to to
1:14:16um I call it karate class, man. Um
1:14:20>> all the things that she when when when I
1:14:22was the when she was strictly the
1:14:23student and she looked at me as the
1:14:24master
1:14:25>> and I teach her first kick like, "Okay,
1:14:27baby. Here go. Hi." It's like, "Oh, she
1:14:30feels good. She's kicking. She's
1:14:31learning moves. She learned correct."
1:14:32Now this [ __ ] has a seventh degree
1:14:34black belt in my [ __ ] Yeah.
1:14:36>> And now she thinks she can actually beat
1:14:37me and she's hard to beat. You used to
1:14:40back in the day I could flip her right
1:14:41on her head verbally. Wh she like, "Oh
1:14:44my god." Sorry, master. But each level
1:14:46she wants to go up. She thinks she don't
1:14:48want to go out into the into the world
1:14:50and try her [ __ ] She wants to try it
1:14:52with me. And I'm the [ __ ] who
1:14:53taught her and I'm the [ __ ] who
1:14:55loves her. But she's always trying to
1:14:57gain an advantage uh over me. And I'm
1:15:00the [ __ ] that she And that's
1:15:01where things go bad in relationships, I
1:15:03think, is because, you know, your woman
1:15:06starts to look at you like I can be. He
1:15:09ain't the guy. I go, "Look, man, if you
1:15:11need to go find yourself another man, if
1:15:13you need to go do what you got to do,
1:15:15um, I'm not going to allow you to make
1:15:17me unsexy to you because I know how to
1:15:21not do it. I know that you're going to
1:15:23try to you're trying to
1:15:26gain something." She's tired of me. She
1:15:29is. But I'm like, "Go be tired because
1:15:31I'm telling you, you're thinking like a
1:15:33square. You're thinking like all these
1:15:34[ __ ] who don't have a man. Go join
1:15:37them because as as eventually you're
1:15:39going to what she's looking for out of
1:15:42me is to do some of the things that her
1:15:45food does.
1:15:48Can't you just be like my food once or
1:15:51twice?" No, [ __ ]
1:15:53>> Why don't you want to give her a little
1:15:54of that?
1:15:54>> It's not giving anything. It's I'm
1:15:57living me and you're living you. At some
1:16:01point you got bored with See, we don't
1:16:03have
1:16:03>> This is deep [ __ ] I'm not sure it's
1:16:04right.
1:16:05>> It might not be right. It might be
1:16:06sophistry. You know what I'm saying? It
1:16:08might [ __ ] This is my standpoint.
1:16:10My standpoint is a natural feeling. It's
1:16:12a natural feeling. It's nature. I'm not
1:16:14I'm not This not a social standpoint.
1:16:16Like, okay, being a mother. A good
1:16:18mother is wonderful. I love My girl's a
1:16:21good mother. She's a good woman. And and
1:16:23I'm but I'm saying you're missing the
1:16:26part of me being a good father.
1:16:29>> Uh me being a good a good man.
1:16:32>> Yeah.
1:16:32>> Me being a good son. Okay.
1:16:34>> Okay. First of all, what my as a mother
1:16:37>> um people will go, you have a mother.
1:16:40It's like, yeah, but my mother was
1:16:42somebody else's [ __ ] at one time.
1:16:44Meaning my mother did things to men and
1:16:47she's told me this mentally [ __ ] with
1:16:49men. I mean like where she go I've done
1:16:51this. Okay. As a woman.
1:16:53>> Yeah. But we do it too, right?
1:16:55>> But we're not. See, this is the thing,
1:16:56Mark. You can't always My You know how
1:16:59my girl got me?
1:17:00>> I was a guy who was this terrible
1:17:03misogynist when she met me. I'm I'm a
1:17:06lot less. I'm telling you, a lot less. I
1:17:09just want my girl to know that um
1:17:16my natural
1:17:18instincts stopped once I said I look I
1:17:22made a decision to be quote unquote a
1:17:24good guy. I know that [ __ ] a lot of
1:17:28women
1:17:29is bad for her. She don't want it. She
1:17:33she wants commitment and she wants
1:17:37she wants, you know, a monogous
1:17:40relationship and I give it to her
1:17:43and I just want her to know that it's
1:17:45not
1:17:47I just want her to always value
1:17:50>> the sacrifice.
1:17:51>> I want her to value that. All I do
1:17:54really all I do is want women to
1:17:55understand what we are. What we are. I
1:17:59want a lot of [ __ ] women. Like I just
1:18:03every day every day I see a woman that
1:18:07you I go man I want the opportunity. I
1:18:10have a decent house, have a decent car.
1:18:12>> I know I have it's like being a
1:18:14fisherman, right? And this is I again
1:18:17>> you you fish as a fisherman as a sport
1:18:19fisherman which is a lot different from
1:18:23>> fishing to live.
1:18:24>> Fishing to live. Do you see how you get
1:18:25that context? Okay. Now you go out there
1:18:28and you try to catch this fish.
1:18:29>> Okay.
1:18:30>> And you do.
1:18:31>> Yeah.
1:18:32>> Okay. Like any other sport fisherman,
1:18:34you catch the fish,
1:18:35>> you show it to your friends,
1:18:38>> you you take a picture.
1:18:39>> Yeah.
1:18:40>> You look at it
1:18:42>> and you throw it back in the water.
1:18:44>> Right.
1:18:45>> Now your girl is in your life or your
1:18:48wife or anybody else who's a significant
1:18:50person in your life is a fish.
1:18:51>> Yeah.
1:18:52>> That jump back on the boat after you
1:18:54threw it in the water.
1:18:57because you caught her.
1:18:59>> Yeah.
1:18:59>> She keeps jumping back on your boat.
1:19:01>> Mhm.
1:19:01>> And you're sitting there going, "Listen,
1:19:03you don't come out." Cuz usually some
1:19:06fish get the idea that they swim back
1:19:08into the ocean and and hope you come
1:19:10back again to catch them or you got
1:19:13lucky enough to catch them, but the fish
1:19:15that's in your life was just flapping
1:19:18around your boat. She would she'd run
1:19:20all the other fish away so that at some
1:19:23point you go, "Fuck, I I I just listen."
1:19:26You know, and then she goes, you go,
1:19:27"Look, I I I my job is to catch you and
1:19:30throw you away." Then she's like, "What
1:19:32the [ __ ] Is that what I am to you?" And
1:19:34as a man who has that that dichotomy,
1:19:37you're just trying. No, no, no, no. I
1:19:38don't I'm not a piece of [ __ ] Yeah.
1:19:41>> No. You're the last fish I was I wanted
1:19:43to catch you and then, you know, be the
1:19:46last fish. Then it's like, "Okay, good.
1:19:47Okay, now we're dating. We So every time
1:19:50you come back So every time you come
1:19:51back now,
1:19:53>> now Okay.
1:19:54>> Yeah.
1:19:55>> You go, "Okay, I got this fish." Now
1:19:56your fish goes, "You love me." You go,
1:19:59"Yeah, I love your fish." All right. Now
1:20:01that you love me,
1:20:05>> why do you still have your boat?
1:20:11And why do you still have your pole and
1:20:13all your bait? So, are you saying you
1:20:17want me to stop being what I was to get
1:20:20you? So, what that means is when I stop
1:20:23being what I am, you start to look at me
1:20:26and go, "You ain't even got a boat."
1:20:28There's a there's there's a time where
1:20:30they go, "You don't even have a boat.
1:20:33That guy has a boat. You used to be this
1:20:35great fisherman. They'll never be able
1:20:37to not swim. My girl is gorgeous. If she
1:20:40plays her cards right, dude, there's
1:20:42never a time where she can't get
1:20:44something. Look, my girl got me to [ __ ]
1:20:47with her. She She was waiting. She just
1:20:50was waiting. She like me and she was
1:20:52waiting for some reason. You see my girl
1:20:55and you go, "Why is she waiting for me
1:20:57to [ __ ] her?" Which gives me more
1:20:59arrogance cuz I know that women are
1:21:00better than us cuz a guy like me could
1:21:03get a girl like my my woman. It's
1:21:05because they love differently than we
1:21:07do. What she did is finally after all
1:21:10this time of kind of waiting and kind of
1:21:12being there kind of she she she she
1:21:15invited me up to the house and she put a
1:21:17t-shirt on and and went to take a shower
1:21:20and stuff and she's talking to me and
1:21:21same old same and she went to go turn
1:21:23the TV and bent down so that her [ __ ]
1:21:26[ __ ] and [ __ ] was just showing as
1:21:28she picked something up and she knew I
1:21:30was looking and I'm like oh okay it's in
1:21:32my face and so she's and by the way
1:21:34here's the arrogance of having a vagina
1:21:37>> she can actually, if I didn't [ __ ] her
1:21:39then, she can actually be officially
1:21:43uh uh uh have the right to say that I'm
1:21:45gay just cuz she showed [ __ ] and
1:21:48[ __ ] and I didn't go for it then. I am
1:21:51a [ __ ] [ __ ] Then that's how arrogant
1:21:55you can have be with having a [ __ ]
1:21:57you. There could be no point where you
1:21:59could show your balls and [ __ ] as a
1:22:02marker to to pick a woman up or to [ __ ]
1:22:05a woman and it be acceptable. Yeah.
1:22:07>> If you showed your [ __ ] and balls,
1:22:09Mark
1:22:10>> and and and as a as a hey, look at look
1:22:13at this that you saying I make them
1:22:16objects. No, I could never do what they
1:22:19do what she did to get dick. it. I I
1:22:22laugh at her to this day because it's
1:22:24like, do you see you showed Joe you've
1:22:27never met a woman, Mark,
1:22:30>> who has taken responsibility completely
1:22:32for what she does.
1:22:34>> Exactly.
1:22:36>> Because that laugh says you didn't
1:22:38because you would have had a contrary
1:22:39opinion. You've never met a woman that
1:22:41went, "Yes, I am I'm just wrong."
1:22:47Now
1:22:49can really say the worst days I I where
1:22:52I had a lot of women around. Um I didn't
1:22:56I didn't date any of them but they all
1:23:00they just love me.
1:23:01>> I go damn it. These girls like me
1:23:04enough. These girls listen to me enough.
1:23:07I'm not hiding any of them from each
1:23:09other. I could be a pimp. And I realized
1:23:12why I couldn't be a pimp. Cuz I'm a I'm
1:23:14a good man. Holy [ __ ] I realized
1:23:17something. I could never live with
1:23:19myself as a man allow my woman to sell
1:23:23[ __ ] and give me all the money. I I
1:23:27couldn't do that [ __ ] And I realized
1:23:29there are women who get hit in their
1:23:31relationship. And you go, why are you
1:23:34staying with that man? Cuz I love him.
1:23:36Why? There's women that work a 9 to5 and
1:23:40give every dime to a [ __ ] bum that's
1:23:42in the house. I just love him. She's a
1:23:46[ __ ] hoe and he's a pimp. Now, it's a
1:23:49matter of do you abuse that. I don't
1:23:52abuse my woman. I just don't want her
1:23:54abusing me, Mark. That's it. I don't
1:23:56want her abusing the fact that I'm a
1:23:58good man. Me and my girl discuss I
1:24:00always try to put scenarios there.
1:24:01>> Sure.
1:24:02>> If she gets caught cheating, I said I I
1:24:04I'll stay with you, but you get demoted
1:24:06down
1:24:07>> to where you don't want to be no more,
1:24:09which is you got no say. My girl got
1:24:13say.
1:24:13>> Yeah. But at one point she worked hard
1:24:16to have a say.
1:24:18>> Do you think you should be doing that?
1:24:20>> Right.
1:24:20>> Do you think you should be and not
1:24:22afraid or whatever? Like me, mind your
1:24:23business, [ __ ] Whatever. But do you
1:24:26think you should be doing it as my
1:24:27partner?
1:24:28>> Okay.
1:24:28>> Um,
1:24:30>> I told her if if I get caught, what am I
1:24:32going to get demoted down to? Okay.
1:24:35>> I'll get me getting a demotion means you
1:24:38get a demotion actually. Meaning if you
1:24:40what are you going to do? You have to
1:24:41leave me.
1:24:43But I'm not going to stay in your life,
1:24:45right? If I if y'all get caught [ __ ]
1:24:47doing something that I didn't want to do
1:24:48and I hurt you, what happens is I'm not
1:24:51going to sit here and live an apology
1:24:54for the rest of my life.
1:24:55>> I felt the same way.
1:24:56>> I'm not going to sit here and have you
1:24:58hold me hostage and take away really
1:25:02what what our relationship is built on,
1:25:05which is you think that I'm a great man.
1:25:07We don't even better deal women. We we
1:25:11we just like [ __ ]
1:25:14>> Is that a girl in a trash can? Let me
1:25:15see what she look like. Baby, how you
1:25:17doing? Why you in the trash can? Being
1:25:19good to a woman for us is a commitment
1:25:21to ourselves. It's a commitment to the
1:25:23fact that we go, this is what they want
1:25:25and this is what they think is is the
1:25:28right thing to do. And we we're decent
1:25:29people. We go, you know what? She's
1:25:32right. This is Let me stop trying to
1:25:35[ __ ] everything that moves. It's
1:25:37probably some weird like here's my It's
1:25:39probably some weird compensation for
1:25:42something and I go let me be good to
1:25:45this girl. I'm not I'm not going to get
1:25:46better. I might be able to get better uh
1:25:49good-looking or I might be able to get
1:25:51better
1:25:52>> decent but not not together with her.
1:25:54Black people got to stop lying about how
1:25:56we feel and white people got to stop
1:25:58lying about how they feel. and we come
1:26:00together and we and we discuss it
1:26:01because this [ __ ] ain't gonna stop until
1:26:03black people find a way to forgive this
1:26:06country for what it did. I it it's it's
1:26:09a aching. That's the anger to forgive
1:26:13the country for what it did. And without
1:26:15white people's um this is how deep white
1:26:18is. Hey, when did your family get here?
1:26:22Got here in 1906. Uh first person
1:26:24straight off the boat from Italy.
1:26:26And uh now I'm calling you a [ __ ]
1:26:28They're like, "I'm better than you."
1:26:30>> Are you serious? My family's been here
1:26:32since 1619, [ __ ] Making this country
1:26:35wealthy cuz it's got free labor. It's
1:26:38just collecting money. We Are you
1:26:40[ __ ] serious? And we get a hard hard
1:26:42time. And you get here, your skin's
1:26:44white, and you treat me like [ __ ] you
1:26:47[ __ ] When this kid, it was a
1:26:49summer camp. I think I was 10. And this
1:26:52kid called me a [ __ ] This this little
1:26:53white kid, he called me a [ __ ] It was
1:26:55a game he played with me. Called me a
1:26:57[ __ ] and ran. And I chased him and when
1:26:59I and he ran and he ran to where there
1:27:02was adults and I grabbed him and when I
1:27:04put my hands on him
1:27:07um he screamed like Banshee, you know,
1:27:09and uh
1:27:12and I got thrown out of camp. I I'm like
1:27:14he called me a [ __ ] It's like
1:27:17so I I learned a lesson.
1:27:19>> What did you wear in
1:27:19>> I learned that you were uh Yeah.
1:27:22>> Right.
1:27:23>> That Yeah, [ __ ] Like I learned that
1:27:27>> um a lot of things I learned about
1:27:28racism that you don't learn unless you
1:27:30live in a place like Boston. Boston the
1:27:32worst.
1:27:32>> And I think this slowed me down a lot
1:27:34mentally, man. Um and then I got in
1:27:36trouble with the law when I was young
1:27:38>> and I learned something about anger
1:27:40statuto. I had a statutory rape thing
1:27:42when I was like I was 17 and um me and
1:27:46my friends, you know, [ __ ] this girl
1:27:48and and then this is a long story short
1:27:51to be there a long story short, but
1:27:53basically
1:27:54>> me and my friends hanging out, bumped
1:27:56into two girls. Uh my mother was out of
1:27:58town, so I had the house to myself and
1:28:01you know, we brought them back and we
1:28:03had a good time and then you know,
1:28:05dropped them. Everybody seemed to be
1:28:06happy. Um afterwards, you know, you
1:28:09don't know about not kissing and
1:28:10telling. You know, when you're young,
1:28:11you're like, "Hey, man. Oh, we had a
1:28:13great time. This girl sucked dick and we
1:28:15basically were doing a porno."
1:28:16>> Yeah.
1:28:17>> And so we told the wrong people. And
1:28:20those people said, "Oo, all right. I
1:28:22know that girl." So instead of like just
1:28:25saying just taking advantage of the fact
1:28:26that she was just a natural hoe doing a
1:28:28little work, it was like, "Hey, I heard
1:28:30what you did in Boston. Why don't you do
1:28:32it to me?" Well, I'mma tell everybody.
1:28:34So, so they did it and she's like, I
1:28:39mean, fair to her, you know, she had she
1:28:41had to she had to protect herself and
1:28:43she's just like uh crying and emotional
1:28:46about what what's now imminent. Like,
1:28:48what is everybody going to come
1:28:50>> [ __ ] blackmailing me for getting
1:28:52their dick sucked? So, she cried to her
1:28:54brother and said, "Oh man, I got raped
1:28:55today." And her brother went to go [ __ ]
1:28:58these people up. And then as that's
1:29:00going on, he's [ __ ] This is a week
1:29:02after or two weeks after we was messing
1:29:04with. So after you, you know, after that
1:29:07situation, she's like, "Uh oh, okay. I
1:29:10got raped today." And then it's like,
1:29:12"Oh, I got raped last week, too."
1:29:14>> So,
1:29:15>> how old was she?
1:29:16>> 15.
1:29:16>> Yeah.
1:29:17>> 15 to 17. But I I went to jail for that.
1:29:19But I always It was a weird thing.
1:29:21>> How long were you in jail?
1:29:23>> Two months. 60 days. Yeah.
1:29:25>> Cuz it was like I had I got lucky. It
1:29:27was It was It's weird. I have this on my
1:29:29record, but I got lucky in terms of
1:29:31this. It's Suffach County, and I know
1:29:33guys that have gone to jail for the rest
1:29:36of their life. I happen to have um bad
1:29:39lawyers, but a a great judge.
1:29:42>> And jail, what was that like?
1:29:44>> It was it was more fear than they they
1:29:48send us to a place called um conquered.
1:29:50MCI conquered was very dangerous because
1:29:54>> it was I guess you you seen Star Wars,
1:29:57right? It's It was like, you know, that
1:29:59planet that um
1:30:01>> Yeah.
1:30:02>> where everybody was hanging before they
1:30:03went to go off into their other [ __ ] in
1:30:06that in the solar system where he was
1:30:08playing a band. Where you from? I'm from
1:30:10the Moo system. Right.
1:30:12>> That's But MCI Conquer was like that. It
1:30:14was like
1:30:14>> murderers, arsonists,
1:30:17uh [ __ ] uh gamblers,
1:30:21everybody. Everybody from the worst
1:30:23crime to the to the least,
1:30:25>> right,
1:30:26>> was sent there.
1:30:28>> It was just what? But did they send
1:30:29people who didn't have long sentences
1:30:31there?
1:30:31>> That's what I'm saying. So guys who were
1:30:33actually sentenced to 60 days
1:30:37um was sent there. Kids, I mean, and it
1:30:40was my worst nightmare. Meaning
1:30:42>> I was not a jail guy, man. I I just
1:30:45wasn't a jail. I was like, this was I
1:30:48don't even know what the biggest It's
1:30:50like
1:30:51>> Well, how'd you handle it? What went
1:30:52down? Did it get [ __ ] bad?
1:30:54>> I'm a big guy.
1:30:55>> Yeah.
1:30:56>> And I'm a funny guy.
1:30:57>> Yeah.
1:30:57>> I mean, I was funny.
1:30:59>> Yeah.
1:30:59>> And I was big.
1:31:01>> So, if the biggest thing was that I had
1:31:04a rape beef over my head.
1:31:06>> Yeah.
1:31:06>> And the idea is that, you know, those
1:31:09guys get a bad time in jail. And I'm
1:31:12like, "Oh man, what what's gonna h I
1:31:14mean, you got to understand I was not
1:31:15fit for that."
1:31:16>> Yeah.
1:31:17>> Um
1:31:18>> I don't think anybody is.
1:31:19>> Uh some people are. Some people are
1:31:21prepared to go to jail for things that
1:31:22they do. Uh gangsters are ready for
1:31:25>> No, no, I get what you're saying. I
1:31:26mean, I
1:31:27>> to be a kid in jail.
1:31:28>> Yeah. I mean, I was a kid, dude. I mean,
1:31:30and you know, whatever. I mean, so, um,
1:31:34when I get there,
1:31:37I'm not trying to be hard because I know
1:31:38I'm not hard, but I'm just trying to be
1:31:40right and I'm just trying to go, "Oh,
1:31:42man.
1:31:44>> I'm hurt. I'm I don't know what's going
1:31:46on. I'm in jail, man. I don't know." But
1:31:49I did all my soul searching because he
1:31:51sentenced us. It was weird. He he was
1:31:54doing us a favor, but the only thing he
1:31:56did really wrong was it's I'm an adult
1:31:59and it's on my record for the rest of my
1:32:02life. Um and and people not unlike
1:32:06murder. It's like murder there's a
1:32:08there's a story.
1:32:09>> Yeah.
1:32:10>> Like you go I went to jail for murder.
1:32:12What happened?
1:32:13>> I was fighting a guy and and his head
1:32:15hit the hydrant and you're like, "Oh,
1:32:17okay."
1:32:18>> There's a there's stories.
1:32:21You hear rape, you go, "Oh god, he took
1:32:23pussy." You go, "Wait, no, there's
1:32:25>> Yeah, the story is just a lie already."
1:32:28>> Like,
1:32:29>> whatever the story is, it's got to be
1:32:31>> rapist. No, no, wait.
1:32:32>> Yeah. I I was 17 and my dick went into a
1:32:3615-year-old. Now, the rest of the story
1:32:38is the story, but I'm I didn't go to
1:32:40jail for taking [ __ ] Now, whatever
1:32:43mental there's all kind of mental [ __ ]
1:32:45that can happen
1:32:47>> to a woman under even any circumstance
1:32:50whether she gives it up or not,
1:32:51>> right?
1:32:52>> It's like psychologically. I don't know
1:32:54what that effect is. I'm not trying to
1:32:55be innocent sexually cuz I was doing
1:32:57some deviant [ __ ] but it wasn't taking
1:32:59[ __ ] It was
1:33:01>> having a good time.
1:33:02>> Yeah. Whatever. Training, whatever.
1:33:04Which
1:33:04>> which ultimately in jail I'm I'm keeping
1:33:07my head low. I'm I'm I'm playing
1:33:10basketball. I'm whatever. from just
1:33:12living. And um and so these guys, these
1:33:16these these uh guys that kind of had a
1:33:19heavy rap and they were there cuz they
1:33:21were they were transferring these guys
1:33:23to another prison and they all were
1:33:25friends. I think they all had did the
1:33:27the same crime or some [ __ ] They was
1:33:29they were tough guys. They were all
1:33:30named after southern states and [ __ ] It
1:33:32was like these guys white guys.
1:33:34>> Black guys. It was I don't you know
1:33:35answer to white guys if you're black in
1:33:37prison like white people that we play
1:33:39ball together. But what you did was you
1:33:43Plus Conquered was the place where
1:33:45>> it wasn't a those gangsters were there,
1:33:47but it wasn't a whole lot of gangster
1:33:50[ __ ] cuz people were being assessed on
1:33:52where they were going next. So you
1:33:54either could go to Wallpole, see the
1:33:55junction or you could go to [ __ ]
1:33:58Knoxberry Farm,
1:33:59>> right? Holding station.
1:34:01>> Holding station.
1:34:02>> So uh uh these uh these guys, they said,
1:34:06"Look what going on with you, man?" And
1:34:09I go, "Well, what?" I go, "Oh, man." I'm
1:34:11like, "What's he" He goes, they go,
1:34:13"Well, um, what you in for?" I go, "Oh."
1:34:19>> This is the title of my crime. And
1:34:21>> Yeah.
1:34:21>> And they go, "Well," and they walking,
1:34:23they making me walk around the yard with
1:34:25them.
1:34:25>> Yeah.
1:34:26>> And And I'm like, "Oh, God. They going
1:34:28to probably walk me to this blind spot
1:34:29here. They're going to do something."
1:34:30Oh, God. They go, "Oh, man. Talk." And
1:34:33they used to call me Heavy D. Yeah. And
1:34:35Heavy D. Hey, man. Come here, Heavy D.
1:34:36let me talk to you for
1:34:39so it's like four of them. We just
1:34:41walking around the yard and I go, "Well,
1:34:42I did this and
1:34:44>> this happened and then the boom and
1:34:46boom." And then they go after like two
1:34:49walks around, they go, "You in here for
1:34:51pulling a [ __ ] train.
1:34:54You in I see." And they go, they go,
1:34:57"Everybody in this [ __ ] did that
1:34:59[ __ ] And you in jail for that [ __ ] You
1:35:03in jail for doing what [ __ ]
1:35:04[ __ ] do?"
1:35:06I go
1:35:08and they just they said they gave me a
1:35:10pass. They go, "Look, don't let me ever
1:35:12hear you locked up again." I said,
1:35:14"Thank you." Ever since then, life got
1:35:16better. But then I had a friend, life
1:35:19didn't get better cuz he the nightmare
1:35:23of jail got to him mentally and he never
1:35:26could get out of it. He wouldn't take a
1:35:28shower and he he um
1:35:30>> who this guy
1:35:31>> my codfendant as they would they would
1:35:33say my friend my best friend one of my
1:35:3615year-old or the other guy it was two
1:35:39it was five of us
1:35:41um five five guys two girls
1:35:44>> okay and the other girl didn't put up
1:35:46any
1:35:47>> she didn't put up any charges and it was
1:35:50whatever
1:35:50>> so one of so your friend he
1:35:52>> my my they you know my friend and they
1:35:54would call him my codefendant you know
1:35:56>> yeah And uh he thought he was gonna get
1:36:00raped in the shower. Every day that
1:36:02every day was rape in the shower. He
1:36:04couldn't
1:36:04>> when he was there.
1:36:05>> When we were both there at the same
1:36:06time.
1:36:07>> And did it happen?
1:36:08>> It's just like you go there and all
1:36:09you've been watching is MSNBC and it's
1:36:11like
1:36:12>> someone's going to shank me in my neck.
1:36:14So you just wear a every day you just
1:36:17wear a [ __ ] phone book collar cuz you
1:36:20go somebody's gonna and it's like dude
1:36:22take off that phone book. No. No, I
1:36:25won't take it off. someone's going to
1:36:26stab me in my neck. He would always
1:36:27think someone's going to get him and and
1:36:30he wouldn't shower. And these guys, man,
1:36:33they want their lives. There's guys in
1:36:34there. And look, just cuz I'm in there
1:36:38for for 60 days doesn't make me less
1:36:41angry about it cuz you're in there for
1:36:4425 years. But I do know
1:36:47a guy in for 60 days, you make a guy
1:36:49that's in for 25 years happy. you deal
1:36:52with your [ __ ] differently than that
1:36:55guy. Yeah.
1:36:55>> And he was um in a position where he's
1:36:58he's
1:37:00>> smells really bad in front of
1:37:04guys that are doing 25 years. They have
1:37:06to live every day.
1:37:07>> No one wants to, you know.
1:37:08>> So I He goes, "Tell your codefendant.
1:37:10They keep saying my codefendant." So I
1:37:12like I'm like, "Man, dude, like you got
1:37:14to I'm not going to say his name, but he
1:37:16says I'm like, "Man, you got to take a
1:37:17shower, man. These guys are
1:37:19>> Come on, man." He goes, "Fuck you, man.
1:37:21You act like you like it in here. I go,
1:37:23"No, but I'm saying like you can take a
1:37:25shower. Like, take a [ __ ] shower,
1:37:27man. They're going to kill you." You
1:37:29know, they start throwing piss on him
1:37:31and
1:37:32>> and
1:37:32>> they started throwing piss on him.
1:37:34>> Yeah. To make him take a shower
1:37:36>> and he just he wouldn't take a shower.
1:37:38And eventually they like, you know,
1:37:40eventually it became torturous.
1:37:44And it was torture for him for at least
1:37:4645 of the 60 days. and and things been
1:37:51right since he he the next time I seen
1:37:54him after we got out,
1:37:57he was he came to my house like with a
1:37:59fur coat. He had a fur coat and like
1:38:02and like it was like boxer trunks and
1:38:05shoes. It was weird. And he was talking
1:38:07about what if Jesus was something other
1:38:11than being Jesus? Like what if Jesus was
1:38:12a pimp, man? You know,
1:38:14>> so he snapped. He he he snapped and and
1:38:18you know, you talk about um
1:38:22in terms of trying to have my mind deal
1:38:24with feeling like a victim, you know,
1:38:27feeling like my life is been really
1:38:30ruined, you know?
1:38:31>> Yeah.
1:38:32>> I go, okay, look, it's it's God's
1:38:36design, and this is this is what I came
1:38:38up with to help me. One, if I was a 15-y
1:38:42old girl and that was happened to me, I
1:38:44might do the same thing. That helped me.
1:38:46I go, "Okay." Two, I could have been in
1:38:49there for 10 years cuz the the the the
1:38:52crime of statutory, you can get 10 years
1:38:55period. I got 60 days with one year
1:38:58probation and I was done.
1:39:00>> So your boy though, he got [ __ ] up and
1:39:01he never [ __ ] bounced back.
1:39:02>> He never bounced back. He he he This is
1:39:04my best friend when I was a kid, you
1:39:06know.
1:39:06>> But it's it's weird. It's interesting
1:39:07because he did it to himself and that
1:39:09you know your system of thinking that
1:39:11your ability to put things in
1:39:12perspective as bizarre as it may be uh
1:39:15in terms of how you make an
1:39:16understanding for your life he was not
1:39:18able to do that and I wasn't able to do
1:39:20that either I naturally was able to do
1:39:23it but I I I wasn't natur I wasn't able
1:39:25to
1:39:26>> deliver it as a mental place you know um
1:39:30>> to him
1:39:31>> to anybody even to myself I just
1:39:33naturally because I didn't have a father
1:39:35which was a whole another story. I
1:39:37always kind of recently um I just
1:39:41realized I didn't have a father. I
1:39:42always got through and didn't care. But
1:39:44I recently said, "Wow, this is what you
1:39:45need a father for. You need him. You
1:39:47need a better man when you when you
1:39:49don't have any more understanding of how
1:39:52to fabricate how to be a man." So, but
1:39:56the last part of how I stop from hating
1:39:59this girl and not victimize is that I
1:40:02go, "Look, there's a lot of women who
1:40:04get raped." you know that the the
1:40:06definition of it uh humanity taken from
1:40:10them like that and uh
1:40:15I think that it's God's way of evening
1:40:19out meaning if women have to walk around
1:40:22and live
1:40:24the idea that a [ __ ] might jump
1:40:27from behind a bush and with a knife to
1:40:30the neck and say give me your [ __ ]
1:40:31against the God has to even it out by
1:40:34saying, "Oh, some of us will get charged
1:40:37with rape." And didn't do it. So,
1:40:40essentially in the in the theory of
1:40:42balancing out, I I got raped cuz it's
1:40:44like, but I was involved. It's not like
1:40:46I was just walking on the street
1:40:47whistling and the [ __ ] just go, "He
1:40:49raped me." It's more or less I didn't
1:40:51take [ __ ]
1:40:53>> but
1:40:54>> I I got in trouble and have that word
1:40:57attached to my life. Yeah. and and and I
1:40:59could have if they wanted to take it to
1:41:01that place possibly they could have just
1:41:04been like you took it. We think you took
1:41:05it. I was lucky that it was just it was
1:41:08it was statutory and and and basically I
1:41:12got through life and I didn't have to
1:41:14learn any more lessons. Yeah. But I'm
1:41:15still kind of living that thing for the
1:41:17rest of my life if but for the rest of a
1:41:20woman's life it follows her if that
1:41:22happens to her if if a rape happens to
1:41:24her. So, I'm I I know it seems
1:41:27crazy, but I'm saying it's a balance of
1:41:30what can happen to me as a dude, like a
1:41:32woman.
1:41:33>> God didn't make it so a woman could jump
1:41:35out of bush and go, "Give me your dick
1:41:37against your will and you not laugh."
1:41:39>> Yeah.
1:41:40>> You know, it's
1:41:42the only way we can see how serious it
1:41:44is,
1:41:46you know.
1:41:46>> But, but it's interesting because it it
1:41:48provided you with a little insight and
1:41:50some sensitivity to women.
1:41:52>> Absolutely. Dude, when I talk [ __ ] let
1:41:54me tell you, man. Ultimately,
1:41:56I I love my mother, man. I love my I I
1:42:01This is so condescending.
1:42:03The [ __ ] I say about women is women is
1:42:06based on how bad I feel for what they
1:42:11are. It's a sad creature. They bleed
1:42:16every month. They sit down to pee. Like
1:42:19how vulnerable do you feel when you sit
1:42:20I love my mother because
1:42:23>> she I grew up with no dad right she's my
1:42:24mother and my father he just was what it
1:42:28look he's was not there like anybody
1:42:30whatever reason I got denied uh entry to
1:42:32Montreal recently because of because of
1:42:34that I've been to Montreal a million
1:42:36times but at this for some reason now
1:42:39with all these computers and everything
1:42:40it's just like they you you know they
1:42:42not telling a story it ain't a book it's
1:42:44just
1:42:45>> you've been charged with this and boom
1:42:47and you went to jail for
1:42:48went to went to try to do Montreal this
1:42:50year and they turned me back. So on the
1:42:53way back I was driving things was I was
1:42:55>> the rape thing.
1:42:56>> Yes.
1:42:57>> [ __ ] Yeah. Um so you know I'm driving
1:43:00back and mentally uh
1:43:03I had uh reached almost the the the the
1:43:07acme of
1:43:09my madness that I had on my own and I
1:43:13and I
1:43:13>> driving. What do you mean when you're
1:43:15driving back you're hallucinating? I'm
1:43:17hallucinating. I'm thinking of things.
1:43:19I'm thinking of one of my pets that I
1:43:21love that got killed. I'm I'm thinking
1:43:23about I'm feeling sorry for myself. I'm
1:43:26>> I'm thinking, "Oh, man. Just why do I
1:43:29need to why? Why?" You know, I'm
1:43:31starting to think about God like, you
1:43:33know, really uh uh you know, my mother's
1:43:36telling me, saying things to me like
1:43:37she's being motherly. She's saying, you
1:43:39know, hey, look, God takes things away
1:43:42from you, so your hands are empty to
1:43:43hold better things. And you know, all of
1:43:46that kind of advice stuff. And I and I
1:43:48broke down uh like the next day I got
1:43:51home, woke up, talked to my mother, was
1:43:53talking to my mother, and I realized
1:43:54that I didn't have a father. I realized
1:43:56and what a father is, it's a it's a
1:43:59older man who just loves you and gives a
1:44:02[ __ ] And and and men, when you fall,
1:44:04men say, "Get up now." Then you see
1:44:07what's injured when when but a woman my
1:44:11mother wants to heal me. Stay down.
1:44:14Check your wound. Let me see what's
1:44:16injured. Then let's get you up. But
1:44:18let's make sure you don't get up first
1:44:20cuz if you you could be hurting more if
1:44:22you get up now. A father. I just never
1:44:24had an adult man older than me that
1:44:28could just I could just look at like
1:44:31this is my mentor. I started getting
1:44:33emotional. I'm getting emotional now cuz
1:44:35I I went my whole life.
1:44:37>> This was recently.
1:44:38>> This is
1:44:39>> like last week.
1:44:39>> This is last week.
1:44:41>> Just now.
1:44:42>> 40 years old. And I realized at 40 the
1:44:45concept of what a father was.
1:44:47>> Yeah.
1:44:47>> And that I didn't have it my whole life.
1:44:49And it's been killing me. Like I when I
1:44:52first learned I finally learned that
1:44:54because I was always trying to be
1:44:56logical to what a a look a Let me tell
1:44:59you, it's easy to not be in a child's
1:45:01life. A sperm could go on the floor.
1:45:05It's in you. If you if you come inside
1:45:08of a [ __ ] you don't care about, it's
1:45:10the same thing as coming on the floor.
1:45:12>> So if you come inside of a woman that
1:45:15you don't want to be with
1:45:16>> Yeah.
1:45:16>> and she goes, I'm pregnant. You go,
1:45:18well, you know, here's the sperm, [ __ ]
1:45:22>> So I realized anybody could be my
1:45:26father. I didn't have even a father
1:45:28figure, a mentor. I was raised by other
1:45:32men that I watched. Um,
1:45:35>> right. People you picked that you
1:45:36identified with or you saw that I just
1:45:37watched and said, "Cool. Let me try to
1:45:40copy what he is."
1:45:41>> But in that conversation with your
1:45:42mother, I mean, what you know, was it
1:45:44sadness or anger? I mean, what you know,
1:45:47>> it was sadness for her, it was sadness
1:45:50for
1:45:51me, it was sadness, too, because I have
1:45:54a lot of issues with God. I I I really
1:45:57desperately want to believe in God.
1:45:58desperately want to believe in. And I go
1:46:01for what I want out of life. And I this
1:46:03makes I know this seems a [ __ ] but
1:46:06I just want I'm the only one in my life
1:46:09of people that that I that can I'm the
1:46:13only unless somebody hits a lottery, I'm
1:46:15the only one for about seven or eight
1:46:19people that could help elevate
1:46:23life because I'm in show business and
1:46:25I've been in it 18 years. Uh, my mother
1:46:28works and she's going to work till she
1:46:30dies unless I make it. Um, my one of my
1:46:34good friends, he works and he's going to
1:46:38work till he dies. My girl, she's she
1:46:40has a show business like heart, but you
1:46:44know, her kid, you know, a couple of
1:46:47comics that are good friends of mine,
1:46:49it's like
1:46:51if it ain't me, dude, it ain't going to
1:46:53be nobody. And I I just want that. I
1:46:55just want it for them. I I always
1:46:57thought to myself like, uh, I could
1:46:59change now. I could go, okay, well, uh,
1:47:02I'm going to take it in the ass like
1:47:05they say you supposed to in show
1:47:06business. I'm going to take it in the
1:47:08[ __ ] ass. If I take it in my ass now
1:47:11at 40
1:47:13and realize and realize that it wasn't,
1:47:18it's like, this ain't so bad. I'm taking
1:47:20my ass. I got a $2 million check. My
1:47:23mother got a house. And my ass is it
1:47:26ain't even that. It's just right in my
1:47:28ass. It's not even hurting that that I'm
1:47:33going to be even more miserable cuz I
1:47:36should have been some I didn't have
1:47:39enough sense or a mentor to say take it
1:47:41in your ass. If I'm wrong now, I can't
1:47:45live with myself. I gotta ride this out.
1:47:48I got to ride this out. I got to ride it
1:47:50out. And I and I don't know if it's
1:47:52going to
1:47:53>> pan out. And I really would love for it
1:47:55to pan out, but it it might not. And it
1:47:59made me sad because my mother, she's
1:48:01diabetic and I'm diabetic, okay? And uh
1:48:05I cut my my foot and I think this got me
1:48:08emotional, too.
1:48:09>> I cut my foot. You know, you cut your
1:48:10foot as a diabetic. Um it's dangerous. I
1:48:15cut my foot, you know. Uh the ravages of
1:48:17diabetes haven't started truly hitting
1:48:19me hardcore. starting to hit my mom's,
1:48:21you know, feet looking bad and, you
1:48:23know, she's limping and she's breaking
1:48:25down watching her break down
1:48:27>> and uh I cut my foot, man, and she
1:48:32she jumped on she just was mom. She
1:48:36cared about my [ __ ] feet and I'm
1:48:38looking at her feet, you know, swelled
1:48:40up and and she just was making sure my
1:48:44feet were okay. And I'm just like, what
1:48:46the what for? like like I suck.
1:48:51>> I'm like I suck. I go my mother's still
1:48:55looking after my feet. And I'm like
1:48:58I'm just want to look after her feet,
1:49:00but I would never motherly be able to
1:49:03look after her feet. I can only
1:49:05financially look after her feet. Get her
1:49:07the best foot doctor. Money's no object
1:49:09medicine.
1:49:10>> Yeah. Yeah.
1:49:11>> And uh that's what I need to do to look
1:49:14after her. But I don't have it like
1:49:16that.
1:49:16>> Yeah. and and this is the only way I'm
1:49:18going to get it. And uh it's just too
1:49:20late for me to real I'm realizing [ __ ]
1:49:25too late that I'm driving,
1:49:28you know, back from uh you know,
1:49:30Montreal and I'm going, "What? Did Did I
1:49:33just realize that
1:49:35>> I I didn't have a father? Did I just
1:49:37realize that
1:49:37>> just now?" Yeah.
1:49:39>> What the [ __ ] is that good for?
1:49:44Are you [ __ ] serious? What a waste of
1:49:47time. But that's not true. You know
1:49:49what's interesting just from you talking
1:49:50to me and and I always knew this about
1:49:52you is that you know you're going to
1:49:53parent yourself one way or the other
1:49:55that if you don't if your parents were
1:49:56inattentive or they were shitty or they
1:49:59weren't there or they were absent you
1:50:01are going to figure out a way to take
1:50:02care of yourself and you did. And that
1:50:04is what the gift of your brain is is
1:50:06that all this [ __ ] the way you talk
1:50:08about your life and how you make sense
1:50:10of [ __ ] You talk like a father. You
1:50:13talk like a guy that's like this is the
1:50:14analogy. this is the story that this
1:50:17makes sense.
1:50:17>> But but it's made me very um
1:50:21it's made me very logical and it's made
1:50:24me very a like pain.
1:50:27>> Yeah.
1:50:27>> Emotional pain. Mark, this is where we
1:50:30are stripping down
1:50:33the animal part as opposed to stripping
1:50:35down the psychological part. Because
1:50:37remember, dude, I've already stripped
1:50:39myself down. You stripped yourself down
1:50:41because you do too much thinking. So you
1:50:43meaning you look at yourself and if I go
1:50:47you're a this and a that Mark you go was
1:50:49that supposed to hurt me cuz I already
1:50:52discussed that with myself. I am a this
1:50:54and a that. What are you going to do?
1:50:56>> It's still going to hurt me.
1:50:57>> It it it'll hurt but you'll go I don't
1:50:59want to hear it. I don't want it
1:51:00affirmed. Okay.
1:51:01>> But it's going to you you you're not
1:51:03you're self-aware. There's a lot of
1:51:05people aren't self-aware. Yeah. They're
1:51:06psych They are sociopaths. You know, I
1:51:10wish I'm telling you, I wish I could
1:51:13take it in the ass. I wish I tried to
1:51:15take it in the ass in 98 and I realized
1:51:18taking it in the ass hurt my heart.
1:51:21>> Yeah.
1:51:21>> Um I wish I can steal jokes and and buy
1:51:26my mother a house based on the fact that
1:51:28I stole I stole not only jokes. It's not
1:51:31like you stole knockknock jokes. You
1:51:34stole
1:51:35essence. You stole, you took it, and you
1:51:38and you and you. There's no justice.
1:51:42There's nothing in this game of virtue.
1:51:44I think in this business, you only got
1:51:46about four or five times to get on the
1:51:49amusement ride, you know. Um maybe I
1:51:51think I've been on the ride twice.
1:51:53>> Yeah, maybe.
1:51:54>> And me, too.
1:51:55>> And when you get off the ride, you got
1:51:57to get back in line and go, if I want to
1:52:00ride this ride again, I got to stand in
1:52:03line. It's long line. And the thing
1:52:05about the the roller coaster
1:52:07>> is it's interesting. It clicks up. The
1:52:10click up is just great. Like you're
1:52:12like, I feel it click up.
1:52:14>> I feel it. I feel excited.
1:52:15>> Yeah. They see me. They see I'm clicking
1:52:17up. They see I'm on the come up. They
1:52:19they feeling good. They're feeling it's
1:52:20feeling right.
1:52:21>> Um and then
1:52:22>> when you don't the first time you're on
1:52:24the ride, you go, "Okay, what do I do?"
1:52:26Then you go and you hold your hands up
1:52:29and then all the money flies out your
1:52:30pocket and then all everything's gone
1:52:32when you get off. you go and in the ride
1:52:34and then it does that last little little
1:52:37stoppage thing and you go and you go
1:52:39everybody off and you go oh [ __ ] and
1:52:42then you there's a long line to get back
1:52:43on and then you're in the back of the
1:52:45line going this [ __ ] ride ain't even
1:52:48that great and you're like that was it?
1:52:51Am I standing in line? And then you go
1:52:53okay my second time I'm going to get in
1:52:55line again. I'm go I'm going to make
1:52:56this ride better for myself. Yeah.
1:52:58>> Click click click click. Okay. And then
1:53:00you know now you got a a a pilot deal
1:53:03and it clicks up and you go at the top
1:53:05and you go this time I'm going to put my
1:53:08hands in my pocket and I'm not going to
1:53:09enjoy the ride as much. You go down and
1:53:12you're not going we it's just air. Hold
1:53:15on to your money. Then you stop again
1:53:17and it's just like you got a little more
1:53:19money but you didn't have any fun. Now
1:53:21you're in line again
1:53:25>> waiting
1:53:27>> and you're behind a [ __ ] [ __ ]
1:53:31>> You know who's doing your ass.
1:53:32>> You go. Can I get in front of you? You
1:53:34[ __ ] [ __ ]
1:53:36>> And then
1:53:38>> I don't know if I get on the ride again,
1:53:40dude. I'm probably not going to get back
1:53:42on, but I don't I'm waiting.
1:53:43>> All right. Well,
1:53:44>> I know it's uh quickly becoming the
1:53:46past, but
1:53:49>> this LeBron James thing has a lot of
1:53:50people talking.
1:53:52>> Well, I mean, I don't think he point
1:53:54shaved. I think he I just think
1:53:56>> point shaves
1:53:57>> like I said I think uh you know I use a
1:54:00a Justice League analogy
1:54:03which is if you're in if you're in the
1:54:07super friends and a meteor is getting
1:54:09ready to hit the earth.
1:54:10>> Mhm.
1:54:12>> Who everybody in the Justice League
1:54:14turns and looks at who? [ __ ]
1:54:16Superman.
1:54:17>> But then Superman goes
1:54:20what what do I do? Hey guys, I don't
1:54:22know what to Superman. You're like,
1:54:24>> "You're the one who can fly. You're the
1:54:26one who can who can breathe in space.
1:54:28You're the one who can
1:54:29>> impervious damage and destroy that
1:54:32thing. What the [ __ ] are you talking
1:54:34about?" You know, I just I just want to
1:54:36be a good teammate and and help do my
1:54:40part. No, there's no part to do. I'm
1:54:42Aquaman. I I only swim.
1:54:44>> I'm in the water here. By the time it
1:54:47gets to me, it's too late. I might be
1:54:48able to get 20,000 dolphins to jump as
1:54:51high as they can and try to hit the
1:54:53[ __ ] thing.
1:54:54>> Hit the [ __ ] thing.
1:54:56>> But [ __ ]
1:54:57>> why are you putting this pressure on me?
1:54:59I'm only Superman.
1:55:01>> But who put the pressure on him?
1:55:02>> We did.
1:55:03>> Not him.
1:55:04>> No. Look, man. People say that he call
1:55:06he I don't He just accepts King James. I
1:55:09think he loves being him, but he doesn't
1:55:12want to be him. He wants to stand on the
1:55:15outside of himself and just watch
1:55:17himself without dealing with the
1:55:19pressure of being him. It's he's a he's
1:55:22too physically he's the greatest player
1:55:23that ever lived. There's no other player
1:55:26better than him physically. 6'8
1:55:31can handle, can jump, can body as big as
1:55:34a horse and uh strong as a horse, but he
1:55:37just doesn't want it's he's not mean.
1:55:41He's not mean enough. that Jordan used
1:55:43to do things to really demoralize
1:55:45people. Demoralize people. Laugh at him.
1:55:48Close his eyes when he shoots free
1:55:50throws. Uh uh fake you out with one hand
1:55:54like a fake pass. Larry Bird used to do
1:55:57that kind of [ __ ] Magic. They Isaiah,
1:56:00they all were mean. They were mean. He's
1:56:03a nice guy and he he wanted his rings,
1:56:06but he doesn't understand, you know, one
1:56:08ring in Cleveland would have been 20
1:56:10somewhere else.
1:56:10>> Oh my god. Yeah. uh you you see the
1:56:13heroic
1:56:14uh godlike uh treatment that uh Durk is
1:56:18getting and not cuz he's white guy. I
1:56:21mean I I rooted for him cuz he's a he
1:56:22was a soldier stayed in Dallas. Shitty
1:56:25Dallas
1:56:277 foot bum who only shoots free throw I
1:56:30mean shoots outside jump shots
1:56:31three-pointers
1:56:33>> who still does that except he he's been
1:56:35able to do it consistently. This
1:56:37[ __ ] is not a force of nature.
1:56:39He's a He's still the same Dirk he
1:56:41always was.
1:56:42>> And calls him a caveman. He look like He
1:56:44looks like a V. He looks like a caveman
1:56:46face.
1:56:46>> You know, D just just a normal, you
1:56:48know, that that [ __ ] I'm super humble
1:56:51guy who is starting to make me sick.
1:56:53This, you know,
1:56:55Derek Rose is that you think my mother.
1:56:58It's like suck a dick. You know, I love
1:57:01my mom too, [ __ ] I love my mom too.
1:57:04Everybody loves their mom. That your
1:57:06this humble thing. So, what' you think
1:57:08about winning the game? I'm just happy
1:57:10that, you know, I love my teammates and
1:57:13I love my mom. Like, Durk is, you know,
1:57:15he he was in he was in I don't want to
1:57:17enjoy it mode.
1:57:19>> Yeah.
1:57:19>> So much that when he won, he didn't know
1:57:21what to do.
1:57:22>> Yeah. You had to walk away
1:57:24>> for a little while. Shake it off.
1:57:26>> And when they was teasing him about him
1:57:27coughing and [ __ ] and he's like,
1:57:29"They're just childish." It's like,
1:57:31"What what happened?" This is my
1:57:34question for for uh
1:57:38This is my question for life.
1:57:41>> What now? Can we say are we retiring the
1:57:44phrase sticks and stones and break my
1:57:47bones and names will never hurt? Is that
1:57:49now officially
1:57:51>> It seems like we are. I think you're
1:57:52right.
1:57:53>> No one can no one be Can is it is it
1:57:56legal for me to say I endorse hate
1:57:58speech? I don't give a [ __ ]
1:58:01>> I I want hate speech. Yes. But why can't
1:58:05I hate you in speech?
1:58:07>> Exactly.
1:58:08>> Why?
1:58:09>> I don't understand.
1:58:10>> I don't either. Not in this country.
1:58:12>> How aous can any Look at
1:58:16you. You know how much money it take me
1:58:18to go [ __ ] you [ __ ] to
1:58:21everybody?
1:58:225 million.
1:58:23>> Yeah.
1:58:24>> 5 million is enough to tell I'll tell
1:58:27suck my dick.
1:58:29>> Done. So obviously you're getting into
1:58:31the Tracy Morgan thing. I'm getting into
1:58:33everything. It's all connecting. That's
1:58:34what I was trying to say. It's all
1:58:36around us. It's all connected.
1:58:37>> But the Tracy Moring thing is the big
1:58:38one today.
1:58:39>> Well, see, my thing with Tracy is this.
1:58:41Um I look I, you know, I don't fall for
1:58:44no banana and no tailpipe. I don't
1:58:46listen to anybody that says it. I
1:58:49believe the opposite. I try to make the
1:58:50opposite opinion right away.
1:58:52>> Yep.
1:58:53>> Tracy's been that a long time. Tracy's
1:58:55been frivolous with his performances a
1:58:59long time. He say some ill [ __ ] Not
1:59:03just [ __ ] gay and [ __ ] but here's
1:59:05what he's doing now. It's simple as
1:59:06this, man.
1:59:07>> The game we're in is like jail.
1:59:10>> You got to You got to be There's no
1:59:11rogue, lonely gunslinger guy in
1:59:16Hollywood. There's no I do it myself and
1:59:19nobody [ __ ] with me.
1:59:20>> Do it my way.
1:59:21>> My way.
1:59:22>> It ain't none of that. You got to be
1:59:23affiliated. Like if you go to prison,
1:59:25you can't go in there and go, "Hey, I'm
1:59:26just going to read my gun books and
1:59:29>> you know, I'm just going to chill out."
1:59:30You got to join something.
1:59:31>> Yeah.
1:59:32>> And if you don't join something, the
1:59:33guy's going to find out. So, who you who
1:59:35you affiliate with? Well, I'm just
1:59:36chilling out. I'm just hanging. I'm my
1:59:38own person.
1:59:39>> I'm going to rape you.
1:59:41>> Cuz you have cuz you have no you have no
1:59:45affiliations, my friend. Right. You're
1:59:47not down with a cartel. So what Tracy
1:59:51I mean this is conjecture but Tracy's
1:59:54just paying what he owe. You It's like
1:59:56um The Godfather. The guy goes
1:59:58Godfather. And he goes,
2:00:00>> "Well, you never even [ __ ] said hi to
2:00:02me, but you know what? Here's my deal.
2:00:04I'll do what you want
2:00:06>> and when I need you, I'm just going to
2:00:08come get what I need." And he goes, "You
2:00:10hear this? Knock on the door." And it's
2:00:12like, "You got to pay me back."
2:00:13>> Yeah. Tracy
2:00:15owes a lot of people his career cuz why
2:00:18do you think he can say now trust me
2:00:19people that know Tracy he says some ill
2:00:22[ __ ] that he could get in trouble like
2:00:24he is for every day
2:00:29this time around he said something and
2:00:31they said oh here's a here's a good time
2:00:33Tracy yeah what what's up yeah you know
2:00:36you you're in deep [ __ ] we gonna make
2:00:37you apologize but you you owe and the
2:00:40fear that guy that when you owe is that
2:00:43They're going to take everything from
2:00:44you.
2:00:45>> So if if they didn't make you, they
2:00:48can't really break you. And you see I
2:00:49say they it's it's the cartels, man. You
2:00:53you do not look at gay people have a
2:00:56powerful cartel. I affiliate myself with
2:00:59Jews, lowlevel to mid-level Jews,
2:01:02>> cuz they they dealing money. You you pay
2:01:05them dough. You you you here's your 10.
2:01:08Can I have a little Can I do my thing
2:01:10over here? Pay you this. I'm not I'm not
2:01:13big enough to get in big trouble for,
2:01:15you know, so is it possible I can just
2:01:17do this? Here's your dough. And the
2:01:19thing I like about Jews
2:01:22dealing with them as a cartel
2:01:24>> is they don't want you to be Jewish.
2:01:28They you don't have to join. You don't
2:01:30have to give anything but what you owe.
2:01:33You don't have to [ __ ] you know, you
2:01:35don't have to [ __ ] go to the parties.
2:01:39>> You don't have to put on the yamaha.
2:01:40>> You don't have to do it.
2:01:41>> No. So it's a very fair thing. A lot of
2:01:45these cartels, man, you got to be that
2:01:48>> got to be in with them and
2:01:51>> believe everything they believe in.
2:01:53>> You got Yes.
2:01:54>> Don't speak ill of them.
2:01:56>> Yep.
2:01:57>> Yep.
2:01:58>> And and the thing is,
2:02:00>> you know, Tracy has to
2:02:03>> pay with the ow. And I knew that when
2:02:05Tina Fay turned on him.
2:02:08>> Tina Fay has been his great benefactor
2:02:10for many years. Yeah. So, this one thing
2:02:12has turned the tides of Tracy's career,
2:02:15meaning it's it's made him public enemy
2:02:18number one. When I heard this story
2:02:20passed one day, I said, "Tracy's the new
2:02:22spokesman for gay [ __ ] now."
2:02:24>> And that's exactly
2:02:25>> We said yesterday, Patrice, that they
2:02:27grab you as a hostage.
2:02:29>> You don't have to be a hostage.
2:02:30>> But he's a hostage to Glad right now.
2:02:32And Glad will let Tracy know when
2:02:34they're done with him. They're they're
2:02:36not ever going to be done with them
2:02:37because
2:02:39it it's power. It's corruptible, man.
2:02:43Like when a bully takes your money, he
2:02:45don't go, "Thank you. I just needed it
2:02:46today."
2:02:47>> He keeps going.
2:02:48>> It it Tracy Tracy had I don't know how
2:02:50much money he got in the bank. Oh,
2:02:52>> but I would think it's enough to say,
2:02:55"No, leave me alone. [ __ ] you." And he
2:02:58but he sets himself up um where Tracy
2:03:01doesn't have
2:03:04like if I'm saying this I I'll hear from
2:03:06Tracy meaning yo don't talk [ __ ] about
2:03:09shut the [ __ ] up [ __ ] like don't I'm
2:03:11I'm on your side. I know what you're
2:03:12going through but I I made a decision.
2:03:14That's why people go well why Patrice
2:03:16isn't I don't want to owe that much. M I
2:03:19don't cuz there's people that count on
2:03:21me to have
2:03:24a like a revolutionary attitude
2:03:27sometimes just where I argue.
2:03:29>> Yeah.
2:03:29>> So I let a lot of people down if I put
2:03:33myself in a position to have to flop
2:03:34around on my belly.
2:03:35>> Have to be a spokesperson like that or
2:03:37Right.
2:03:38>> That's why I talk so much because I want
2:03:40people to understand what I'm saying.
2:03:42Now, if I talk about gays and talk about
2:03:44anything I have a problem with, I'm
2:03:45going to make sure if they're going to
2:03:46end my career, you know that it's it's a
2:03:50it's a muscle move that it's unfair.
2:03:53That it's not just cuz Tracy just goes
2:03:55[ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] and more
2:03:58[ __ ] And if my son was a [ __ ] and
2:04:00then he and then he goes, Tracy, what
2:04:02the [ __ ] He didn't say nothing to
2:04:04apologize for.
2:04:06>> He What are you apologizing for? Yeah,
2:04:08you were doing your act.
2:04:09>> But he's on stage.
2:04:11>> But the people who make you O, they go,
2:04:15we're this guy is setting himself up to
2:04:18owe us big cuz we're allowing him to
2:04:21feel himself. I'mma pull my st my
2:04:24stomach out. I'm going to go crazy.
2:04:26I'mma be drunk. I'mma [ __ ] get DUIs.
2:04:29I'mma fall downstairs. I'mma get a
2:04:31kidney from a [ __ ] and leave her. I'mma
2:04:33do all kind of [ __ ]
2:04:34>> Holy [ __ ]
2:04:35>> I'mma do all kind of [ __ ] Yeah. And
2:04:38then I'm I feel like I'm invincible.
2:04:42Then I do something that I do all the
2:04:44time. [ __ ] [ __ ] And now
2:04:48Oh, his benefactor. Oh, Tracy. We're
2:04:53We're We're disgusted with him. And now
2:04:56they pick him up by the [ __ ] him or
2:04:58his neck and the back of his drawers and
2:05:01toss him out into every gay thing.
2:05:04Tracy's from the hood.
2:05:06>> Yeah. Yeah. I just want to be deal with
2:05:07all
2:05:07>> Tracy's from the hood.
2:05:10>> You understand?
2:05:10>> Yeah.
2:05:11>> You're going to get to You're now the
2:05:13new from a guy who just goes [ __ ] to
2:05:17the understanding delicious spokesman
2:05:20for gayness.
2:05:22You got to watch these [ __ ]
2:05:24Watch TV and see the trends. There's a
2:05:27commercial I hate so much.
2:05:29>> I am a a student of commercials, by the
2:05:31way.
2:05:32>> I hate this commercial so much. I don't
2:05:34know how to approach how much I hate it
2:05:37>> because gay also means happy.
2:05:40>> Sure does.
2:05:41>> Now, we can play that game, but gay does
2:05:44mean happy.
2:05:45>> Uh, homosexuals have commandeered the
2:05:49word gay. Yeah.
2:05:50>> into where it's not happy anymore. Cuz
2:05:52there's a commercial because the the
2:05:54boss of the Phoenix Suns came out the
2:05:57closet. the boss of the Phoenix Suns is
2:06:01gay. And they do a commercial where
2:06:03they're playing basketball and the guy's
2:06:04like, "Hey man, you suck. Hey man, you
2:06:07ain't nothing. Hey man, you ain't got no
2:06:09jump shot." Then one guy goes, "Yeah,
2:06:10your moves are gay."
2:06:13>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. And then he has
2:06:15some of the Phoenix Suns are the spokes
2:06:18like, "Hey man, that's not cool to say
2:06:21that. Gay is what?
2:06:23>> They don't believe that.
2:06:24>> We motherfucker." So now, no
2:06:27>> [ __ ] moms. Like, look, here's what
2:06:29here's what we all let happen. We all We
2:06:33all let context be destroyed.
2:06:37>> Yeah.
2:06:38>> Context is gone.
2:06:40>> And that was
2:06:40>> I can't slip up. I can't say nothing.
2:06:43You can't understand what You don't feel
2:06:45me. You don't feel what I'm saying.
2:06:47Look, what he did, I I can't go, "Oh, I
2:06:51can defend that." But I will say this.
2:06:53Here's what's here's what what happens
2:06:56with with Tracy and here's what can
2:06:57happen and you know I believe in
2:06:59conspiracies man
2:07:00>> it just sets people up who want to
2:07:02control everyone right
2:07:05>> where you go okay Tracy you go a guy
2:07:09like Tracy he isn't qualified to have an
2:07:12opinion this having an opinion it should
2:07:15be in the hands of people who are
2:07:17qualified intellectually
2:07:19so guys like him if he's not if he don't
2:07:21have a a degree
2:07:23If you don't, they'll start making
2:07:25language elite where you can't you can't
2:07:28have an opinion. But I say Tracy can be
2:07:30as ignorant, as [ __ ] up as he wants to
2:07:33be because I want to be able to
2:07:35communicate. And if I'm [ __ ] up, let
2:07:38me be [ __ ] up. But I support
2:07:41>> anything as long as you're not hitting
2:07:43me and robbing me. Hate speech.
2:07:46Why can't I hate you?
2:07:49>> Why the [ __ ] But see, the dilemma in my
2:07:52head is this. You back in the 1910s,
2:07:58eight year old kids worked in the coal
2:07:59mine or whatever.
2:08:01>> Yeah.
2:08:01>> And God people back then thought that it
2:08:04that it uh built character.
2:08:06>> Yeah.
2:08:07>> But then we go up to our age where our
2:08:09parents hit us and now we go, "Oh, that
2:08:13that built character when you hit it."
2:08:15So I'm saying the point I'm making is
2:08:18maybe I'm antiquated. Maybe I'm thinking
2:08:20old because I don't think kids should
2:08:22work in coal mines.
2:08:23>> Yeah.
2:08:24>> But I do think kids could should get
2:08:26hit. But now you can't even tease kids
2:08:29in school. It's it's bully bullying and
2:08:31>> bullying very important.
2:08:33>> Maybe it's right. Maybe the way the
2:08:37world's going is right. Maybe no
2:08:40bullying. No. Cuz my my my my step kid
2:08:43was getting bullied in school. My
2:08:44instinct was, "Hey, you know, tell her
2:08:47to ball her [ __ ] fist up and knock
2:08:48this mother [ __ ] in her [ __ ] teeth."
2:08:50>> That's what That's what we heard. My her
2:08:53mother goes to the school, tells the
2:08:55principal,
2:08:57"No more bullying, no more bullying cuz
2:09:02bullying is gone now." But is it right?
2:09:04Is it wrong? I don't know what's going
2:09:06on. So maybe maybe being against it is
2:09:09the wrong thing. Maybe being anti the
2:09:12world becoming I saw I'm in BJ's I saw a
2:09:14box of a kitchen toy kitchen. A boy was
2:09:18on the front.
2:09:23I wanted to I I wanted to scream at
2:09:25somebody. There's a little [ __ ] on the
2:09:29box on the toe on the [ __ ] Easy Bake
2:09:32oven box. A boy.
2:09:34>> You know what? I think we're becoming
2:09:35our parents.
2:09:36>> What the [ __ ] You can't you can't wrap
2:09:38your head around something like that.
2:09:40You can't wrap right.
2:09:41>> You can't wrap your head around that.
2:09:43>> So you can't even be angry. You can't qu
2:09:45look.
2:09:45>> But someone has decided that's okay now
2:09:47in this society to put the boy on that
2:09:49box.
2:09:49>> Them like we answering to a them that's
2:09:52not even we don't even know.
2:09:53>> And we're not part of them. And that's
2:09:56we are part of the them. The them is the
2:09:58collective.
2:09:59>> Sure.
2:09:59>> Who's who's Tracy? Who's LeBron
2:10:02apologized to? Hey, when they wake up,
2:10:04man, they're going to be them. They're
2:10:05going to just be blah blah when when
2:10:07they when look I when they wake up in
2:10:09the morning you know so LeBron when you
2:10:12said that were you saying that you're
2:10:15better than people
2:10:16>> oh man
2:10:16>> he should he should look up in the sky
2:10:18for and go
2:10:19>> yeah yeah
2:10:20>> yeah let's be honest I am compared to
2:10:25them yes
2:10:25>> I'm better than them I'm 25 I'm worth
2:10:28zillions of dollars for doing something
2:10:30that people are right now in the snow
2:10:33right now they moved out they shovel
2:10:35pavement and They they built a a hole in
2:10:38the wall and they're practicing shooting
2:10:41just to be what I actually am. So, how
2:10:44about this? If I'm not liked, how about
2:10:46everybody suck my dick.
2:10:49>> I got a good account. You can't get my
2:10:51dough. I got some gold berry somewhere.
2:10:53Y'all can suck my dick. You can talk
2:10:55about my mama, too. I don't give a [ __ ]
2:10:57I'm 6'8. My dick is as long as a goddamn
2:11:00robo.
2:11:02>> I probably get my I probably get my dick
2:11:03sucked in front of my wife. There's
2:11:05nothing she can do cuz she's a [ __ ]
2:11:06loser.
2:11:08>> But he backed off from his statement. He
2:11:09should have went all in.
2:11:10>> Of course he did.
2:11:11>> No, I know. I understand.
2:11:12>> Of course he backed up from his
2:11:14statement.
2:11:14>> I like this a lot. I like it a lot cuz I
2:11:16It's It's easy just to say that Tracy
2:11:18should be able to say whatever he wants
2:11:20on a comedy stage, but you you really
2:11:22[ __ ] painted the big picture here
2:11:24today. So,
2:11:24>> dude, it's it's
2:11:26>> We all think that. Obviously,
2:11:27>> business is the beast
2:11:30>> and it eats everybody and shits them
2:11:33out. But here's what's funny about the
2:11:34beast. It's a neverending line of people
2:11:38who want to get in the mouth and get
2:11:40chewed up and [ __ ] out.
2:11:42>> Why is that?
2:11:43>> It's cuz you when you get in the belly,
2:11:45>> you get $2 million a week.
2:11:48>> And when you get [ __ ] out, you you're a
2:11:50pile back there and you have the you
2:11:53have the option to go get back in line
2:11:55to wait to go get back in the beast and
2:11:58get eaten. It's [ __ ] out [ __ ] And we
2:12:02line up.
2:12:03>> Hilarious. You are [ __ ] hilarious and
2:12:06profound.
2:12:07>> I want to find where it's just a couple
2:12:10of dollars. Just give me I want a I just
2:12:13want a couple of meal. And
2:12:16>> what part of the beast do you want to be
2:12:17in? Kind of in the esophagus.
2:12:19>> I'm not even You don't want to be in the
2:12:20belly, right?
2:12:21>> Let me tell you something. I I didn't
2:12:22even get to the beast yet cuz 20 years.
2:12:25>> Yeah. The be see when the beast pick you
2:12:27up to put you in your mouth, you you
2:12:31shining. You people see you sometimes.
2:12:34See what 15 minutes of fame is. The
2:12:36beast goes ooh throws throws somebody
2:12:39down and and gets that's they that was
2:12:42reality people.
2:12:44>> Yeah. Yeah.
2:12:45>> People saw him in front of the mouth.
2:12:47>> This one was a a a athlete that had one
2:12:49good year and they threw him. Now you
2:12:52see, oh that looks like a delicious
2:12:54young thing there. Eat, chew. That's why
2:12:57I love Charlie Sheen so much. He was in
2:12:59the belly. When you making two million a
2:13:00week doing anything, you're in the
2:13:02absolute belly. And for that [ __ ] to
2:13:06betray his position in the belly to to
2:13:08to actually give the beast indigestion
2:13:13was was spectacular. He was a martyr.
2:13:16But and and Mel Gibson too. Mel Gibson.
2:13:18>> Mel Gibson.
2:13:19>> He he he could have been the beast. He
2:13:21was so big.
2:13:22>> Yeah.
2:13:22>> And they turned on him. You know what
2:13:24I'm saying? So you anybody that gets
2:13:26that deep and turns on the beast, man,
2:13:28you you you got to root for him no
2:13:31matter what cuz cuz they're martyrs cuz
2:13:33no one's going to stand up for him. And
2:13:34then Hollywood, they tell you who to
2:13:36hate. Like when they rose up against
2:13:38him, not be on Hangover too. When when
2:13:40when when when uh Mike, the movie was
2:13:44about [ __ ] [ __ ] getting [ __ ]
2:13:46people in the ass, drugs, death, and
2:13:49Mike Tyson who got a rape conviction,
2:13:51and you [ __ ] decide to gang up
2:13:54on Mel Gibson.
2:13:55>> Say you can't be in this.
2:13:56>> He can't play a tattoo artist in The
2:13:57Hangover, too.
2:13:59>> Come on, man. That's not It's not
2:14:00hypocrisy because that means that's
2:14:03that's a human thing. It's it's
2:14:06something else. cartel.
2:14:07>> It's somebody oweing somebody the favor.
2:14:11I was close. I I was I was hooked in
2:14:14with the Spike Lee cartel. He had his
2:14:17own baby cartel that he's connected, but
2:14:19you can be He's big enough for you to be
2:14:22connected to him, but he's connected to
2:14:24somebody else.
2:14:25>> And and he asked me for a favor and I
2:14:27said, "I can't."
2:14:29>> Gone.
2:14:30>> Off with the head.
2:14:30>> What was the favor you don't talk about?
2:14:32>> No. No. He um he was and look he put the
2:14:35most money in my pocket I ever seen in
2:14:37my life up to that point. He put me a
2:14:39couple of movies, voiceovers. He had he
2:14:41had access to a lot of things and threw
2:14:43me just threw me in
2:14:45>> that movie I did um the 25th hour.
2:14:48>> Yeah.
2:14:49>> I didn't I really didn't audition for
2:14:50that. He said, "Hey man, you're a
2:14:52Celtics fan, ain't you?" I said, "Yeah,
2:14:54man. I'm from Boston." He goes, "All
2:14:56right, you got it. You got the dig."
2:14:59Like he saw my comedy, liked me, sat me
2:15:01down. Yeah.
2:15:03>> He said, "You're in." He just, "You're
2:15:05in." Put me in this movie. Was really
2:15:08nice to me. Uh put me in voiceover
2:15:11commercials and all type of [ __ ] I was
2:15:14seeing money I never seen before. And he
2:15:17asked me, it was it was some some gig
2:15:19with uh like Showtime, something
2:15:20happened with Showtime, but they did me
2:15:22real dirty. But he was doing this show
2:15:24this movie with the Showtime. And I
2:15:26said, "Man," I said, "I can do the part.
2:15:29I I don't want to come read. But I did
2:15:32it through my agents. I did the right
2:15:33thing.
2:15:34>> Uhhuh.
2:15:34>> He just bypassed my agents, everybody
2:15:36else. He called me personally and said,
2:15:38"Come come do this." And I go, "Well, I
2:15:41how can I what am I going to do? Just
2:15:42say, "Fuck my agents and [ __ ] people
2:15:44that I I have a business with. If I do
2:15:46that, that destroys my entire system. I
2:15:49feel like I should have a system like
2:15:50you have a system. I I can't." He said,
2:15:53"All right." That was it.
2:15:55>> Wow.
2:15:56>> Damn. That was it. And that's how it is
2:15:58now. I only lost what I lost. I didn't
2:16:01lose fame, glory, and everything. I I
2:16:03only lost some some money.
2:16:05>> Yeah.
2:16:06>> But you know, they got [ __ ]
2:16:08You lose when everything. But see, it's
2:16:10everything that you want. You want
2:16:13shine. You want to you I I sat twice up
2:16:16on the front row MSG, my girl with me
2:16:21with me. Uh tw I think it's twice or
2:16:23once. It's so intoxicating when you're
2:16:27in the front row.
2:16:28>> You're looking around at who else?
2:16:29>> Well, you have to move your feet cuz you
2:16:31might trip the player.
2:16:35When they threaten to take that away,
2:16:38you get scared.
2:16:39>> Tracy got front row seats at MSG, man.
2:16:42Wherever you go, people are screaming.
2:16:44Wherever you go, he gets right in. And
2:16:46somehow, you know, if you fall from
2:16:49where he is, you fall way down.
2:16:52>> Yeah.
2:16:52>> Do we do we talk about Dane Cook
2:16:54anymore?
2:16:55Dane could still sell out uh any
2:16:58theater, any 5,000 seat theater,
2:17:01>> but the fact that it ain't Dane Cook day
2:17:04no more.
2:17:05>> You It seems like he's done, doesn't it?
2:17:07>> It seems like he's done. He's not done.
2:17:09No,
2:17:09>> but it's just not his day cuz see, he
2:17:12had a favor he didn't pay back.
2:17:15>> You think that's it or just people?
2:17:17>> Will Smith has been famous forever.
2:17:20>> For 15 years,
2:17:22>> probably longer. 15
2:17:26years.
2:17:26>> Fresh Prince is pushing 20 years ago.
2:17:28>> He He does what he's supposed to do. And
2:17:32I'm not saying he whatever. I'm just
2:17:34saying.
2:17:35>> Mhm.
2:17:36>> You don't You just don't do seven
2:17:38pounds.
2:17:39>> Can I
2:17:41say on top?
2:17:42>> Let me play the other side of that cuz
2:17:43I'm sure a couple people would say this.
2:17:45>> Uh when the a few people would say it's
2:17:47because he's that talented.
2:17:49>> Nobody's that [ __ ] talented. I'll
2:17:50tell you something.
2:17:51>> That's what I thought you were saying.
2:17:52And honestly, I believe I I agree with
2:17:54you.
2:17:54>> No,
2:17:56no, no. One person doesn't know me. And
2:17:58I'm not being a [ __ ] [ __ ] when I'm
2:17:59saying this.
2:18:00>> There's no way I shouldn't be bigger
2:18:02than I am.
2:18:03>> There's just no way that
2:18:05>> we all say it.
2:18:06>> Joe Koy is selling out [ __ ] and I'm not.
2:18:09And I like Joe. I like Joe, but Joe is
2:18:12Joe ain't me.
2:18:14>> Joe ain't Nick Depollo. Joe ain't
2:18:17everybody that did Tough Crowd,
2:18:19>> right? gangsters. We should be out in
2:18:22the in the in the public eye. But you
2:18:23know why Nick says goog gobbler, man.
2:18:26>> Yeah.
2:18:26>> Nick will say goog goblin in a minute.
2:18:28Even when Nick's trying to be good, he
2:18:30can't
2:18:31>> help himself.
2:18:32>> Cuz he's he's gangster, man.
2:18:34>> I try. I swear to God, I try.
2:18:37>> But you just go, "What?" Like I The
2:18:39first thing I think is please God, let
2:18:41Tina Fay and Wanda Sykes chastise me
2:18:44over some [ __ ] I said. And I got to
2:18:46apologize to who [ __ ]
2:18:49I'll die first, [ __ ]
2:18:51>> Yeah.
2:18:51>> Like, for real. I [ __ ] think I
2:18:54be bullshitting, man. I like I I I I I
2:18:57try, but I'm like I don't want to put
2:18:59myself in a spot to where I'm balance.
2:19:02Like, I'm telling you, I I set I sit in
2:19:04my house every day and I and I I I
2:19:06appreciate my ceiling fan, man. Cuz one
2:19:10day somebody going to try to take it.
2:19:11And I got to look at it and know that
2:19:14someday somebody going to try to take my
2:19:16ceiling fan. And I and I all I gotta do
2:19:18is you know you know is hopefully I have
2:19:21a good woman and and she is but I'm
2:19:23saying hopefully we have a good woman
2:19:25that when when the [ __ ] hits the fan she
2:19:27going to be there or you going to have
2:19:29people that's going to be there that if
2:19:31somebody one day says we're going to
2:19:32take this big mouth an fed up with him
2:19:35we're fed up with you we're going to
2:19:36take your [ __ ] and you're sitting there
2:19:38going wait I own my house. No you don't.
2:19:40We own it. We own everything. and that
2:19:42you have a place to go that you know you
2:19:46you you where you could park your
2:19:47Shelby.
2:19:48>> Yeah.
2:19:49>> You feel me? Yeah. So,
2:19:51>> look,
2:19:52>> I've been I've tasted little parts of
2:19:54what success is. I've tasted it. It's
2:19:57it's it's good.
2:19:58>> It's deliciously you you get drunk off
2:20:01of it.
2:20:02>> Uhhuh. But you know,
2:20:05Tracy, I don't know how much money he
2:20:07got, but he he should he should uh he
2:20:10should be happy with the money he's got.
2:20:12>> What I'm he should
2:20:13>> What I'm getting from you, though, is
2:20:16it's not a fear. That's too easy to say
2:20:20of of of success. You don't want to put
2:20:23yourself in a position where you can
2:20:25fall hard and hurt yourself. And you owe
2:20:31>> but you owe. And the godfather all
2:20:34luckily what he owed was fix my son up.
2:20:37He got shot and you go but when you hear
2:20:39a knock on your door and he goes I need
2:20:41you to do me a favor.
2:20:42>> You're going to you're going to be at
2:20:44the a dinner with the president, aren't
2:20:46you? Uh yeah. Or you're going to be at a
2:20:48dinner with somebody I want dead,
2:20:50>> right?
2:20:51>> I want you to put this pill in his
2:20:53drink. O I I I I I I don't
2:20:57>> Well, see,
2:20:58>> well, what you owe is we're going to
2:21:00kill your whole family. I told you
2:21:02>> I want my favor. So, you do that and
2:21:05then just you'll get caught and maybe go
2:21:06to jail, but your wife and kids, we
2:21:08won't blow the whole house up, but you
2:21:10owe us. And that's why you're in you're
2:21:13in my debt. When you get to a cert see,
2:21:15I I deal with low to middle level Jews
2:21:19in my career,
2:21:20>> okay? We talk we talk [ __ ] But if I up
2:21:23get upgraded to the next level, okay,
2:21:26say I I get a show on TV, say it's not
2:21:28it's not too popular,
2:21:30>> but they keep they keep it on for me
2:21:32until it gets popular.
2:21:34>> What favor?
2:21:35>> I owe I [ __ ] owe something. All
2:21:39right, Patrice, we need you to do a big
2:21:40favor. And I'm And I'm intoxicated. I'm
2:21:43I'm in the front row. Everybody's like,
2:21:45"Petrie, what's happening, baby?" All
2:21:47the girls and [ __ ] Oh, I love fat men.
2:21:49Yeah, I know you do, [ __ ] Hey, listen.
2:21:52I got dope for everybody. I'm making it
2:21:54rain. I'm [ __ ] I got a $50 brick. I'm
2:21:57throwing money in the air. I'm getting
2:21:59my dick sucked. I'm driving in a $4
2:22:02million three six-door car. I'm driving
2:22:06a six-door Porsche, [ __ ] Excuse me.
2:22:09I didn't mean it like get [ __ ] in the
2:22:11ass people, but [ __ ] [ __ ] you
2:22:14know, I'm the [ __ ]
2:22:17And then and then Patrice O'Neal the
2:22:21[ __ ] can't get a [ __ ] Let me tell you
2:22:25something. When it when it rains it
2:22:26pours. Punk comedians are tweeting
2:22:30vicious [ __ ] against
2:22:33>> Tracy. Punk [ __ ]
2:22:36>> that have no would never raise their
2:22:39[ __ ] mouth against Tracy. Scared of
2:22:41him physically. Scared of who he hangs
2:22:44with. Scared of his [ __ ] position.
2:22:47Never say no [ __ ] to Tra. They're
2:22:49tweeting shitty Tracy comments cuz they
2:22:52cuz the word is out.
2:22:55>> That's how far it'll take you down.
2:22:57Where middle act comics are have the
2:23:00balls to speak up against Tracy. The
2:23:03word is out.
2:23:04>> The words out cuz I know these
2:23:05[ __ ] are [ __ ] man. Nobody
2:23:07got balls to stand up to Mel Gibson,
2:23:09Braveheart, [ __ ] Passion of the
2:23:12Christ, all the [ __ ] Lethal Weapon
2:23:14movies, all the [ __ ] Mad Max movies.
2:23:17You think [ __ ] Zack Galifanakis on
2:23:21his own said, "Fuck Mel Gibson."
2:23:25He got permission.
2:23:28>> That's his business.
2:23:30>> Jesus Christ.
2:23:31>> That's his business.
2:23:33[ __ ] think my You think I'm
2:23:34[ __ ] playing? And and those middle
2:23:36and those middle uh comics, they just
2:23:38Yeah. They just waited until the
2:23:40>> Who the [ __ ] is gonna stand up? Exactly.
2:23:42We're gonna stand up against Tra. Those
2:23:44are people that hated Tracy and they
2:23:45think now he's a he's done and now I'm
2:23:47going to talk [ __ ] on Twitter about
2:23:49Tracy Morgan.
2:23:51>> Can I say that? I have to say we're I'm
2:23:53proud to say that we jumped right on the
2:23:55Tracy should be able to do what he did
2:23:57bandwagon. And I want to say that today.
2:23:59Yeah, it sounds like we're self-
2:24:00serving, but it's like that is the thing
2:24:02to do. Why is that?
2:24:03>> You don't wait for other people and get
2:24:05and and then finally either decide to or
2:24:08not to. What What are you feeling in
2:24:09your heart and go with it immediately?
2:24:11>> But it's not that easy.
2:24:12>> I know it's not.
2:24:13>> That's a human level.
2:24:14>> That's why me and aunt and and Jimmy, we
2:24:16yell and scream on a daily basis here
2:24:17cuz it's really [ __ ] frustrating to
2:24:19be in this position. It's like why isn't
2:24:21it every comic coming out and going,
2:24:23"Yeah, he should be able to do this on a
2:24:25comedy stage
2:24:25>> and they got people who supported him."
2:24:28>> Yeah.
2:24:28>> Then flip it.
2:24:30>> Yeah. Yeah,
2:24:31>> Tracy should be able to say, "Oh, no,
2:24:32wait. I read it and know
2:24:34>> you know who
2:24:35>> I know.
2:24:37>> I want to say the name." Well, you know
2:24:38what? Chris Rock.
2:24:39>> It was Chris Rock. I was shocked by
2:24:41that.
2:24:42>> He said, "Boom, boom." He He immediately
2:24:44went to defending him. Then he went
2:24:46immediately to saying, "Fuck you." He
2:24:47>> turned it around,
2:24:48>> but it's this thing. It has nothing to
2:24:51do with all the context.
2:24:53>> [ __ ] the context because anything I say
2:24:55or you say, they can flip it around and
2:24:58use it against you.
2:24:59>> Well, they have. So, I should be able to
2:25:01say anything I [ __ ] want. Look, I
2:25:03should be able to say something about
2:25:04gays. Look, I I said something on a
2:25:06podcast I did a long time ago or my my
2:25:09whatever whatever they call it, that
2:25:11little show I would do. And I and I I
2:25:13was playing the president, the the the
2:25:15president.
2:25:16>> And I go, "Why is being gay
2:25:21of preference
2:25:23and tying a [ __ ] up and peeing on her a
2:25:26fetish?"
2:25:28>> Yeah.
2:25:29Why is who I decide to [ __ ] some type of
2:25:32profound fight?
2:25:34>> I just want to have that discussion cuz
2:25:37I'm here to say, look, it's not about
2:25:39love. Cuz I can go, man, I love you,
2:25:41man. I love you, too, man. Brotherly, I
2:25:43love you. I love a man.
2:25:46>> But it ain't gay until I'm [ __ ] you.
2:25:48>> I love my dog.
2:25:50>> I love my dog.
2:25:52>> But it's not beastiality unless I'm
2:25:54[ __ ] my dog.
2:25:55>> Till you start [ __ ] Well, if I
2:25:57[ __ ] have a crush on you and I never
2:25:59tell you, I'm not gay,
2:26:00>> right?
2:26:01>> I'm just And and in fact, we invented a
2:26:04thing called man crush that says a
2:26:06heterosexual man who looks at another
2:26:08man with some type of reverence, but
2:26:10he's not [ __ ] him.
2:26:11>> Yeah.
2:26:12>> Why can't you talk about this situation?
2:26:16What do you want? You know what? Define
2:26:19to me what it is. What are you asking
2:26:21for? To get married? No. No. What's
2:26:24coming out the closet? coming out the
2:26:26closet so I can let everybody know. And
2:26:30see, here's the thing. I don't give a
2:26:31[ __ ] but I'm saying, look, let's say I
2:26:34like tying [ __ ] up and peeing on
2:26:36them,
2:26:37>> right?
2:26:38>> I want to be able to show everybody
2:26:41by some type of flag,
2:26:44some type of gesture that I want to I'm
2:26:47tired of hiding that I like peeing on
2:26:49[ __ ] I'm tired. I want everybody to
2:26:51know cuz I don't want to live this way
2:26:53no more. I want you to know that I like
2:26:54to do that
2:26:55>> and there are other people that like to
2:26:56do it.
2:26:57>> Other people like to do it
2:26:58>> and I want to get together with those
2:26:59people and share our experience.
2:27:01>> I want to fight for our right to pee on
2:27:04each other. And I want to fight to get
2:27:07married to a person under the guys that
2:27:09I like peeing on somebody.
2:27:13Now, if I'm saying some [ __ ] up [ __ ]
2:27:15please
2:27:17talk to me.
2:27:18>> Make me see different cuz I don't give a
2:27:21[ __ ] be gay, but it's the it's forcing
2:27:24me to I can't say nothing. I can't say
2:27:29[ __ ]
2:27:29>> You can't and and no one will no one
2:27:31will have that conversation with you.
2:27:33You will be [ __ ] chastised,
2:27:35>> ostracized, I'm homophobic. I'm not
2:27:39homophobic. I'm not Look at here's my
2:27:41stance on abortion.
2:27:43>> Kill your baby if you want,
2:27:45>> but don't say it's your body, [ __ ] It
2:27:47ain't your body. You're not special.
2:27:50It's cuz God, science, whatever you
2:27:52believe in. Just cuz you're the
2:27:54apartment building for the baby doesn't
2:27:56make you special. You're not special.
2:27:59The entire create the entire
2:28:03baby process is special. But you were
2:28:06chosen cuz whether by eenie meenie miny
2:28:09mo, rock, paper, scissors, a flip of the
2:28:11coin, that's where the baby be is you.
2:28:14But am I going to [ __ ] burn a
2:28:16[ __ ] lady down? No.
2:28:17>> Right. But I'm just saying I have an
2:28:19opinion about it. I have a [ __ ]
2:28:21opinion about it. And I'm not saying
2:28:23kill gays and gays can't. But I'm saying
2:28:25what are you making me think? You're
2:28:27comparing black to gay. I can't not be
2:28:30black. What if I don't want to? I'm I'm
2:28:33black.
2:28:34>> But people do say that there's no choice
2:28:36in being gay. That they
2:28:37>> It doesn't matter.
2:28:39>> They can't stop being gay.
2:28:40>> It doesn't matter. It's still something
2:28:44that you you're telling me that you want
2:28:47me to accept your sexual orientation.
2:28:50That means everybody's sexual thing
2:28:54>> Mhm.
2:28:54>> should be accepted.
2:28:56Everybody who's in the bondage should be
2:28:58able to walk around tied up. Like it it
2:29:01like if I'm if if a guy likes to tie his
2:29:05wife, they should be able to walk around
2:29:06with handcuffs and a and a big a big uh
2:29:09harpoon with handcuffs and walk around
2:29:12cuz they want to express
2:29:13>> with no one being shocked about it
2:29:15>> with no one. Now that's what I'm saying.
2:29:17But say what it is. Don't don't don't
2:29:20make me go along with your agenda based
2:29:25on it. People are mistaking opinion and
2:29:28discussion with hate and and uh telling
2:29:33people that you can go out and hurt
2:29:35these people. No, you just have an
2:29:38opinion on something and you want to
2:29:39openly discuss it, but you can't. You
2:29:42can't in this society because because I
2:29:45have an opin see legis legislating
2:29:49feelings is I don't want white people to
2:29:51like me if they don't
2:29:53>> like
2:29:54>> don't force them. Don't force the I
2:29:56don't force
2:29:58don't don't make white people like me,
2:30:02you know. But listen, I agree. Don't
2:30:04Don't put your hands on me. Don't don't
2:30:06don't beat on me cuz I'm not I'm not
2:30:08suggesting that. I'm only suggesting I
2:30:10have a theory about homosexuality. A
2:30:13theory. I'm not homophobic. I don't have
2:30:16I don't want them dead. They don't.
2:30:17Matter of fact, I live in New York City.
2:30:19I mean, you know, in the in the area.
2:30:20>> Yeah. G gayness doesn't [ __ ] bother
2:30:24me. No. And for most guys,
2:30:26>> gayness doesn't bother them.
2:30:28>> Gay guys bother them. Gay women are fun.
2:30:34>> You gay, baby? Good news. You got a
2:30:36little bit of not gay in you cuz I'm
2:30:37going to just
2:30:38>> be a part of it.
2:30:39>> Yeah. Poke maybe put my finger in your
2:30:41[ __ ] baby. But it's like
2:30:44it's like can we talk about it without
2:30:46you saying I'm a [ __ ] I'm a anti-
2:30:49this and a [ __ ] that. Man, stop. It's
2:30:53it's it's it's
2:30:55scary. It's it's deflating. It's it's it
2:30:58it makes it makes me furious, man. It
2:31:01makes me furious cuz you feel lonely and
2:31:03help you feel helpless because you know
2:31:06you have to deal with this [ __ ] to make
2:31:07it in this business. And I got in this
2:31:10business cuz I was a funny kid.
2:31:12>> Mhm.
2:31:12>> And then I found out what comedy was and
2:31:15it ain't funny. And I'm like, it it
2:31:17tricked me. It tricked me. I thought it
2:31:20was just fun and games and I get paid.
2:31:22It's everything you learn about the
2:31:25business that ain't the fun. It takes a
2:31:29little bit out of you because you to
2:31:31balance for me to be a good businessman.
2:31:33>> Holy [ __ ]
2:31:34>> For me to be a good businessman, I have
2:31:36to take away from my innocence. Cuz
2:31:38being a good businessman means you got
2:31:39to be a awful [ __ ] You can't be
2:31:42loyal. You can't be good to You have to
2:31:44be able to chop heads, man. And it's sad
2:31:46cuz I want to have friends.
2:31:48>> Yeah. You just want to have fun. And
2:31:50>> he You just nailed it. When we're here
2:31:53from 6:00 to 10, this is unbelievable.
2:31:55This is This is the greatest thing that
2:31:57I You know, this is the fun
2:31:59>> you could do. But everything around it
2:32:01is such a drag and it does start eating
2:32:04away at you. And it it shouldn't be like
2:32:06that. We don't need any [ __ ] bosses.
2:32:08Trust me, we know what the [ __ ] we're
2:32:10doing. We don't at this point, we don't
2:32:12even need a a company behind us because
2:32:14of the [ __ ] that comes with that.
2:32:16>> And you would love to not have a company
2:32:18behind you.
2:32:18>> We joke about it, but you know, and
2:32:20people beat us up for this, but we we
2:32:22we're dead serious when we tell our
2:32:24listeners that when 10:00 comes, even
2:32:26though we go past 10, but let's say when
2:32:28the show is officially over, we can't
2:32:30get out of here fast enough because we
2:32:32don't want to rot anymore. You stay
2:32:35around here long enough, it rots you.
2:32:37So, and people go, "Oh, that means you
2:32:38don't care about the show." No, you have
2:32:40no idea what the [ __ ] happens soon as
2:32:42the show ends. when you're dealing with
2:32:46when you're you have humanity and you
2:32:49see that you're in a game where uh
2:32:53humanity you're an idiot for having uh a
2:32:57dign a dignity or a or or or just a a
2:33:02philosophy that you live by
2:33:03>> an individuality some you're an idiot
2:33:06loyalty in this business
2:33:07>> oh my god
2:33:08>> you're a if you're loyal to someone
2:33:12>> in this business, you're a [ __ ]
2:33:15idiot. Anything you do that makes you a
2:33:17decent person normally
2:33:20>> Mhm.
2:33:20>> in theory in show business, you're Look,
2:33:23and I'm I'm [ __ ] up. I talk a lot of
2:33:26[ __ ] but I I have nothing to fall back
2:33:28on. I've been doing this [ __ ] 20 years.
2:33:30>> I'm hoping I don't open my mouth enough
2:33:32where I can't do a gig in Utah for a
2:33:34couple of bucks so I can [ __ ] keep my
2:33:36ceiling fan turning on. Other than that,
2:33:39that big crazy money. I'm, you know,
2:33:41people think, "Oh, he's miserable." I'm
2:33:43not I'm just It's scary, dude. It's
2:33:46scary. Good job, Patrice. I get the
2:33:49shakes when white people all white
2:33:51people say, "Great." I'm not.
2:33:54>> Good job, Patrice.
2:33:56>> You You're supposed to hate me.
2:33:58>> I'm anti you. Now I'm in this party,
2:34:01this free sushi freezer. you know, some
2:34:04pretty white girl is going, "Hi, I saw
2:34:07your special
2:34:09and you go, you idiot." You know, but
2:34:12you know, you can't do that [ __ ] You
2:34:14got to go, "Hello, how are you?" And and
2:34:16and that's look at ultimately that's
2:34:18what Tracy did. Tracy thought it was all
2:34:20for free. He didn't understand, dude,
2:34:23that that it's not for free. Like I
2:34:26said, I I use prison analyses and [ __ ]
2:34:28If you go into prison, I'm telling you,
2:34:29if you ever get locked up and say you
2:34:31your com your your your money ain't
2:34:33coming for a couple of days, your
2:34:34clothes ain't coming for and you didn't
2:34:36eat for a couple of days, just don't
2:34:38eat. Cuz if somebody goes, "Hey man, I
2:34:41got a I see you in trouble, man. I got
2:34:42some Twix and a bar of soap for you and
2:34:44some socks."
2:34:45>> Oh, hey, thanks.
2:34:45>> Oh, thanks guy.
2:34:46>> Hey, that's great.
2:34:47>> Three days later. Hey man, I need 17
2:34:49more sock. I need 17. Oh, I didn't tell
2:34:51you about the percentage. I need 12 Twix
2:34:54and one Snickers. And I need socks,
2:34:56drawers, and sneakers from you.
2:34:58>> Yeah, but you didn't tell me about that
2:34:59when you gave it to me.
2:35:00>> Ah, turn around.
2:35:03>> Like American me, you get a knife in
2:35:04your [ __ ] on a bag of rice.
2:35:08>> And that's the game. That is it is what
2:35:11it is. See, but but see the perception.
2:35:14The last thing I'm going say, a lot of
2:35:16people
2:35:17carry themselves in the in the
2:35:20perception in which they think the
2:35:21business sees them. So they have
2:35:23confidence when they think the business
2:35:25thinks they're the [ __ ] and they have
2:35:26nothing when the business thinks they're
2:35:28nothing. So when I talk, of course
2:35:31people say, "Fuck that fat ass." Oh,
2:35:32[ __ ] it. And they'll be ready to go at
2:35:34me because their their perception is I'm
2:35:36not big enough in the business to be
2:35:39scared of.
2:35:40>> But I I I I earn my respect based on on
2:35:43me. So I don't owe So I can go back back
2:35:46and forth. So if I say Tina Fay's name,
2:35:48I'm not calling out Tina Fay. That [ __ ]
2:35:50is powerful. But I'm saying
2:35:54bow down and and say sorry to me for
2:35:56something you said. But Tracy's big
2:35:58problem. He didn't mean what he said. He
2:36:02just says things frivolously, right? And
2:36:04he had no defense for himself cuz he it
2:36:08it came out with no meaning. He didn't
2:36:10say it for a reason. Me, if I say I
2:36:12don't like Chinese people, I don't say
2:36:14if I say, "Hey, listen. There's my my
2:36:16issue with homosexuality.
2:36:18Talk to me, [ __ ] So I I'll talk
2:36:21to you about it and if you can convin
2:36:22I'm a fair [ __ ] You convince me
2:36:25of what I'm saying is to be wrong and
2:36:27I'll go you know what I'm sorry because
2:36:29I'm sorry comes from it's like the bill
2:36:31collectors when they go sorry sir we
2:36:33wait don't say you're sorry you didn't
2:36:35do nothing and you and you have no you
2:36:37don't even have an ability to be sorry.
2:36:39You're doing what you're told to do. I
2:36:41made a statement and that I believe. If
2:36:43you don't believe what I say, let's talk
2:36:45about it. And if you could convince me
2:36:46I'm wrong, then I go, I apologize, man.
2:36:50You You made me see different.
2:36:51>> Right.
2:36:51>> That's what an apology is. Not I'm
2:36:54sorry. I [ __ ] said [ __ ] 80 times
2:36:57and you caught me.
2:37:00>> When I when I have to deal with people
2:37:01on the phone and they start with that
2:37:02sorry [ __ ] immediately I go, "Don't say
2:37:05sorry cuz you don't mean it. Let's get
2:37:06this. Let's
2:37:07>> Let's understand each other.
2:37:09>> Sorry, sir. I'm sorry."
2:37:10>> I go, "No, you're not sorry. You don't
2:37:12understand. Cuz if you're sorry, then
2:37:14you would see it my way and and then
2:37:16this would be the end of the
2:37:17conversation.
2:37:18>> Sorry, sir.
2:37:19>> That one drives me [ __ ] nuts. And I
2:37:21call him out every time now. Don't say
2:37:23sorry. You're not sorry. You're doing
2:37:25your job.
2:37:25>> Yes.
2:37:26>> Sorry. What? What is What is your The
2:37:29way you're talking though, it doesn't
2:37:31seem like you then have a goal or
2:37:34anywhere you want to be. You You're like
2:37:36a a status quo. You just want your
2:37:39ceiling fan.
2:37:40Like you're in the wrong [ __ ]
2:37:42business, obviously.
2:37:43>> But it's it's it's [ __ ] up because
2:37:44here's what I want to do. I'm going tell
2:37:46you what I love. This is why.
2:37:48>> Yo, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
2:37:50Before you answer that,
2:37:51>> Yeah.
2:37:52>> I think uh what Patrice is saying, a lot
2:37:55of other people could understand in
2:37:56other businesses. By the way, this is
2:37:58not just the entertainment business.
2:38:00That's why this is a great great hour
2:38:02with Patrice. There are people on doing
2:38:04just regular office jobs that have to
2:38:06deal with a lot of this [ __ ] on a
2:38:07different level.
2:38:09Well, cops. There's cops that fight
2:38:11against the the the blue silence and
2:38:14they're like, "Man, that don't Why are
2:38:16you abusing this? Why are you you know,
2:38:18somebody driving around he's like,
2:38:19"Niggas [ __ ] speaks." And he's he's
2:38:21like, "Why are you do why are you doing
2:38:22this to these people?" And he's like,
2:38:24"What are you [ __ ] rookie? What are
2:38:26you a What are you a homosexual tailor?"
2:38:30>> What about just in the corporate world
2:38:31in a in an office? You see the guy I'm
2:38:33talking to a lot of people right now.
2:38:34You see the guy that got the promotion
2:38:36over you. You know you're better. Yep.
2:38:38>> But he was playing the [ __ ] game.
2:38:40>> He did. Simple as that. He played those
2:38:43dumb things that you just don't want to
2:38:45do. And And you're an idiot.
2:38:47>> Yeah.
2:38:48>> For not for not doing that. But you
2:38:50truly are an idiot because that's the
2:38:52game you're in. Those are the rules by
2:38:56not being what that other guy was.
2:38:57>> So you picked the game. But I didn't
2:38:58pick this game based on what I find out
2:39:01is. I picked it on the fact that I I was
2:39:04a funny kid. And and what you you said
2:39:07is I I I my goal is to somehow
2:39:12>> have an ability to reach out to whoever
2:39:16wants to listen and I get money for it
2:39:19>> somehow. I don't know how to do that
2:39:21which is which is people who just agree
2:39:24or not agree they but they get to hear
2:39:27another side and and I can I don't have
2:39:31to worry about apologizing every five
2:39:33minutes. I don't have to worry about the
2:39:35police kicking. I All I have to do is
2:39:36worry about whether someone agrees with
2:39:39me or not cuz I'm I'm not a frivolous
2:39:41guy. I don't just like say this to get a
2:39:45fact. I believe it. It hurts it. It
2:39:47hurts my heart.
2:39:49>> What kind of job is that? Like what?
2:39:51>> Nothing.
2:39:51>> What are you doing?
2:39:52>> But I found out in 2011 I I'm 41. I
2:39:57started when I was 22 and my dick got
2:39:59fully hard. Now I'm 41. I got to smack
2:40:02it a couple of times. I I I wanted to be
2:40:05a pimp. Now I look at my girl, I go,
2:40:07"Hand me my pills, sweetie. Thank you."
2:40:09>> Oh, [ __ ]
2:40:10>> I You get tired.
2:40:12>> And And it's like, you know, I I got one
2:40:15I got a couple of more years of boxing,
2:40:17of fighting, but I do want to be able to
2:40:22say something against the status quo
2:40:26without losing everything I have.
2:40:29without losing everything. I
2:40:31>> But you're not you're not really putting
2:40:32yourself in any position to lose
2:40:34anything. You're you're Well, you
2:40:37>> Let me ask you a question.
2:40:38>> Yeah.
2:40:40>> When When I come on the show, I've been
2:40:43what 10 years?
2:40:44>> Yeah.
2:40:45>> [ __ ] 10, eight.
2:40:47>> Do I give you good radio?
2:40:49>> No.
2:40:49>> [ __ ] yeah.
2:40:51>> Of course you do.
2:40:52>> But I'm saying of course
2:40:53>> give you good radio. That's putting
2:40:55myself in a position
2:40:56>> to do well. That That's what I'm saying.
2:40:59I do the work.
2:41:01>> Okay. So, you do All right. See, I just
2:41:03want to square that because elephant in
2:41:06the room puts me in that position,
2:41:07right? But what doesn't put me in that
2:41:09position is I got a call from a guy.
2:41:12He'll he'll he'll stay nameless. He
2:41:14goes, "Man, I got this role I want want
2:41:16you to do,
2:41:17but can you not be you but be you?"
2:41:22>> I go, "What are you fuck?" I knew what
2:41:23he meant, but I wanted him to say it. So
2:41:25you're saying you think that you can get
2:41:27everything good out of me without
2:41:30getting no bad. The reason you think I'm
2:41:32good is because of the bad part. It's
2:41:34it's it's an entirety. So that's why
2:41:38it's like let's find a Patrice like I've
2:41:41seen breakdowns. I've been in there
2:41:42where uh I seen something for for radio
2:41:45in uh Dallas. We want a Patrice type.
2:41:49Patrice O'Neal type.
2:41:50>> Yeah. But they just don't they don't
2:41:52want to deal with my head issues.
2:41:55>> Like they want to deal with just the
2:41:57fact that I'm they that I'm funny.
2:41:59People agree with what what I would say,
2:42:00but they but it's it's too
2:42:04>> whatever, you know, but but I'm saying
2:42:06I'm doing the work. I'm on the show
2:42:08having a good people listen and people
2:42:10like, you know, when we're when we're
2:42:12doing it and the synergy and everything,
2:42:14but
2:42:14>> but then it seems like, all right, so
2:42:17you're doing the work, you're putting
2:42:18the work in. Yes. Then when the offer
2:42:20comes in to take it to the next level,
2:42:23>> you need absolute Patrice perfection.
2:42:26Your mind has to look at this, study the
2:42:28offer and be like, I don't want any
2:42:30risks. I don't want to be in indebted to
2:42:33anybody. I don't want and that doesn't
2:42:35>> risk is wrong.
2:42:36>> Yeah.
2:42:37>> And indebted. Indebted is wrong.
2:42:40Indebted is what I'm saying is debt is
2:42:42when you get something for free, but you
2:42:46owe. So, hey man, here's a loan. Oh, I
2:42:50got the money, but there's a something
2:42:52else. If I feel like, listen, this
2:42:56reward is worth what what and and I put
2:42:58myself in a position where I am not
2:43:01going to have to go belly up
2:43:03>> because my risk is this is my risk.
2:43:08I I know it's very difficult. Somehow
2:43:11I'm still in the business being who I
2:43:13am.
2:43:14>> A giant [ __ ] with a big mouth.
2:43:17Not good. Okay. Somehow there's a market
2:43:20for that somewhere.
2:43:21>> Mhm.
2:43:22>> But the market is it's like the
2:43:25difference between you go to a party and
2:43:26you have uh marijuana in your pocket or
2:43:28if you have heroin in your pocket. If
2:43:30you have marijuana, you go, "Everybody
2:43:31you smoke want some weed." People go,
2:43:33"Nah, I don't want none, but you can
2:43:35smoke it right here if you want. Don't
2:43:36bother me." You go, "I got some heroin."
2:43:38[ __ ] go, "I do it, but you
2:43:40don't [ __ ] pull heroin out." Yeah. So
2:43:43basically what I'm saying is um there's
2:43:46a market for me with the people, but
2:43:49it's not a market for me with the the
2:43:51the thing the the thing. I I want it. I
2:43:54want the risk. The risk is I have an
2:43:56opinion that can be challenged by status
2:44:02quo and then I can fight. That's my
2:44:06risk.
2:44:07>> Why should my risk? I'm not afraid of
2:44:10[ __ ] I'm It's It's the fact of dude,
2:44:15>> you deal with these people up here. They
2:44:17say things to you and you got to keep
2:44:19your job, but a lot of the [ __ ] it's a
2:44:21lot to do with the money and the and the
2:44:23things you have that you want to keep.
2:44:24So, you deal with a little bit and I've
2:44:26dealt with some little [ __ ] here and
2:44:27then I deal with but I go, you know
2:44:29what? Here's what I don't want to do. I
2:44:32don't want to people go with the office.
2:44:33I go, man, I don't want to be on a show
2:44:36where I give 18 hours of of my life. And
2:44:41I I don't give half ass. I give my piece
2:44:44of me when I'm doing stuff. And it
2:44:46possibly
2:44:48they could use it or not depending on
2:44:50how they feel. I don't have the energy
2:44:52for that. So, if I'm going to fight,
2:44:54I'mma fight to be the HNIC. I'mma fight
2:44:56to be able to say what the [ __ ] I want
2:44:59to say and know it's going to be there.
2:45:01And and that's what I want to fight for.
2:45:03But see, the risk is trying to be me in
2:45:07this business. I'm I'm I'm My risk is
2:45:10this.
2:45:11>> My risk is opening my [ __ ] mouth.
2:45:13It's risky. It's a risky thing.
2:45:16>> So, I'm not afraid of nothing. I just
2:45:18don't want to be at a party and somebody
2:45:21goes, "Patrice, here, try this. What is
2:45:24it?" It'll It'll make you feel better. I
2:45:27don't drink [ __ ] that makes me feel
2:45:28better, [ __ ]
2:45:30All right. Listen. Um, the party's over
2:45:33for you.
2:45:35>> The party is over. So, I want to go in
2:45:37knowing, look, man, my deal, and this is
2:45:40why I mess with Jews.
2:45:42I make 10,000,
2:45:45you get 1,000 and a tip.
2:45:48>> Mhm.
2:45:48>> And thank you. We eat, laugh. I want to
2:45:52make my money, say what I want, and as
2:45:54long as I'm making my money, you leave
2:45:56me alone.
2:45:57>> Are we square?
2:45:58>> Are we square? Bam. Bam. Just like the
2:46:02mob. You a good earner, you live.
2:46:06I just want to be a good earner and say
2:46:08what the [ __ ] I want to say. What else
2:46:10am I going to do?
2:46:11>> I have fun on this show. We talk [ __ ]
2:46:13>> Mhm.
2:46:14>> That's what I do. Well,
2:46:15>> it's it's embarrassing to say. We've
2:46:17been trying for years to have you have
2:46:19your own radio show and it's just not
2:46:21happening.
2:46:22>> It's just not [ __ ] happening.
2:46:24>> We've thrown your name to these guys a
2:46:26million [ __ ] times and they know
2:46:28>> a million times. You guys have an access
2:46:30to great comedians and I don't great
2:46:33comedians
2:46:34>> and I don't understand why they're not
2:46:35[ __ ] biting because they don't get
2:46:37it.
2:46:38>> You know why they know?
2:46:39>> First of all, they don't want to come up
2:46:40with money for anybody.
2:46:41>> That's the first thing. You know, it
2:46:43does cost a little bit. Nick, you they
2:46:46know
2:46:47>> who Listen, they can't control you when
2:46:50you don't have nothing.
2:46:51>> Mhm. Look,
2:46:52>> they can't control you if you The way
2:46:55that you control a [ __ ] that
2:46:56don't got nothing
2:46:57>> is you give them something
2:46:59>> and then you hold that something over
2:47:01the head.
2:47:02>> It is what it is. And without
2:47:03>> That's exactly it, man.
2:47:04>> Without naming names, this this place,
2:47:07Sirius XM, is filled with a lot of
2:47:09shitty shows that they pay very well.
2:47:12And then we come to him with uh hey, you
2:47:15know, there was a time they want to fill
2:47:16up this channel with some names and
2:47:17stuff. I'm like, but Patrice O'Neal is
2:47:19on. I swear to you, I'm not saying it
2:47:21cuz you're here. You're you're on the
2:47:22top of the [ __ ] list. I've said it
2:47:24until I'm blew in the face. No, you
2:47:26know, nothing has happened. We almost
2:47:28had something going when we were just XM
2:47:30almost. It was on its way, right?
2:47:32>> Yeah. Black Phillip was fun
2:47:33>> and it was ready to go to the next
2:47:35level, but just never did.
2:47:37>> But here's the thing, but that whoever
2:47:40whoever's saying, "Well, isn't he
2:47:41talented?" What you just said will tell
2:47:43you the thing. You have some really
2:47:45mundane [ __ ] walking around and
2:47:47that and I'mma bring in a one racial
2:47:49aspect of it.
2:47:51This is the This is another thing. You
2:47:53can't be a mediocre black guy and and
2:47:58have a job. You That's why I said when
2:48:00racism's over is when you could be
2:48:04just mundane and have a job. Whether you
2:48:08hate Obama or not, he's a spectacular
2:48:11dude. He's like, you cannot watch him.
2:48:16The way he walks, the way he is. So the
2:48:18hatred and vitri all [ __ ] have
2:48:21for him is based on his spectacularness.
2:48:24You can't have a normal regular dude.
2:48:27I'm look at man for for me to be on
2:48:30radio and make $500 a week. That's
2:48:33that's you know what kind of bargain
2:48:34that is? Somebody might go man you're
2:48:36crazy. You should do it. Dude, I'm
2:48:40I shouldn't have to work this hard.
2:48:42>> How do you explain those [ __ ] fat
2:48:44traffic [ __ ] then? They got jobs and
2:48:46they're real mediocre.
2:48:48>> Right. But that's a TSA that's that's a
2:48:51mediocre to do is put mediocre people in
2:48:54a power position cuz they're willing to
2:48:58subjugate you cuz they they're not
2:49:00elite. They don't have respect. That's
2:49:03why when you put women in certain power
2:49:05and weak people in power, they're the
2:49:07best people to have in power cuz they
2:49:09they get to look at you with confidence
2:49:12and a [ __ ] you know, you can carry a
2:49:15weapon on you and you can you can do
2:49:17things. You're on the and they go, I'm
2:49:18going to make your life miserable cuz I
2:49:20suck. That's why the media is going
2:49:24after LeBron. Who's attacking LeBron?
2:49:27Short ball nothings who are jealous of
2:49:30him. you give them a position where you
2:49:31can affect a a powerhouse like him and
2:49:34and they you think they're prepared for
2:49:36that. They're not. that that that's why
2:49:39mediocre people they do that so they
2:49:41could control them you know but really
2:49:44the the only thing that scares me is
2:49:46look it if somehow it rains some money
2:49:49and I just could be comfortable that you
2:49:52know my mom's who's getting you know
2:49:54sicker and sicker and I can take care of
2:49:56her
2:49:57>> my woman get her [ __ ] and I can pay and
2:50:00keep ceiling fan
2:50:01>> I'll [ __ ] do some free [ __ ] at my
2:50:03house
2:50:04>> I'll go on the thing and just talk [ __ ]
2:50:07about that's Why I respect Alex Jones.
2:50:10This [ __ ] is a soldier. I don't
2:50:12give a [ __ ] if you don't like him or
2:50:13not. He is He has the energy to to do
2:50:17what he's doing and and I would do that
2:50:20if but but Do is important.
2:50:23>> Yeah. Yeah. Obviously
2:50:24>> D is important to every single person
2:50:27alive, right?
2:50:28>> Jesus. That's what I'm saying. But but
2:50:30but to make that funny money, dude, you
2:50:32know, you look at I go like this. I had
2:50:34an argument with somebody. I said, "How
2:50:36the [ __ ] is Ellen Degenerous? When did
2:50:38she become the moral compass?
2:50:41>> She's a bull."
2:50:42>> Yeah.
2:50:43>> Mhm.
2:50:43>> She's strapping on.
2:50:45>> Yeah.
2:50:45>> And are you telling me a big mouth [ __ ]
2:50:48ain't got no opportunity? Somehow they
2:50:50the people who make things happen, they
2:50:52can they can influence anybody's thought
2:50:56process. So, I want to be in a position
2:50:58where I could just influence thought
2:51:00thinking without being attacked by a a
2:51:04cartel that can just tell you you you're
2:51:07a [ __ ] you're a homophobe or you're a
2:51:10or anti-semite, you're a racist, you're
2:51:13this and you hate women, [ __ ]
2:51:16So what?
2:51:18>> Yeah, I don't think you're ever going to
2:51:20see that though, unfortunately. I mean,
2:51:22it'd be great, but that's you're talking
2:51:24about some kind of [ __ ] paradise.
2:51:27It's getting worse. Ellen Degenerous has
2:51:29to [ __ ] suck [ __ ] dick. You know,
2:51:32figuratively speaking, you know, she's
2:51:34horrified by the dick, but she's got to
2:51:37[ __ ] get down and suck some dick to
2:51:39keep that position.
2:51:40>> Why? Cuz she likes her [ __ ] $20
2:51:41million mansion in Hollywood.
2:51:43>> Didn't say I wouldn't suck a dick
2:51:45figuratively,
2:51:46>> right?
2:51:46>> I've have sucked a dick. We've all
2:51:47tucked. No way. But it's it's it's what
2:51:51I'm saying is like, okay,
2:51:53>> years ago they offered me like a hundred
2:51:55something thousand to do Celebrity Fit
2:51:57Club.
2:51:57>> Mhm.
2:51:58>> I said I would love to do that for the
2:52:00health
2:52:01>> and the money,
2:52:03>> but it's not for the health or the
2:52:05money. Celebrity fit club are people who
2:52:08used to be relevant that became fat
2:52:11hasbins. M
2:52:12>> now they are coming as a they're
2:52:14presenting themselves as fat hasbins
2:52:17under the lie of health cuz they all go
2:52:20back to being fat hasbins. I said I
2:52:23haven't even been a me yet. I can't do a
2:52:27fat hasbin show when I'm not a fat
2:52:29hasband. Well, you could just It's like
2:52:31people go man just go in backwards, man.
2:52:33Take it in ass. And then when things
2:52:36when things go your way, you could go,
2:52:38"Yeah, [ __ ] you."
2:52:39>> Yeah.
2:52:39>> No, man. $2 million to CBS
2:52:43is ass wiping. It's to do research,
2:52:48>> right,
2:52:49>> on how to make 10 million. It it it
2:52:53don't mean nothing. People like Charlie
2:52:55Sheen 2 million. 2 million of Charlie's
2:52:58great, but 2 million of CBS is nothing.
2:53:00And and you think that you can hold
2:53:03these people hostage? They don't give a
2:53:05[ __ ] cuz corporations kill us.
2:53:08>> They don't give a [ __ ] So, I'm just
2:53:10trying to find my place where I'm
2:53:13sitting over there and people go, "Oh,
2:53:15Patrice."
2:53:16>> Yeah,
2:53:17>> that's it. I could talk [ __ ] and whoever
2:53:19wants to listen, they listen and enjoy.
2:53:22You know, like my tweets. When I tweet,
2:53:24I try to tweet a nice tweet. I don't
2:53:26frivolously tweet. Oh, better tweet on
2:53:28this. I tweet [ __ ] that when you feel
2:53:31>> I tweet when I think it's necessary to
2:53:32tweet.
2:53:33>> I tweet when I when it's when I'm
2:53:34feeling tweetable.
2:53:38With that, it's pig mama prod. We should
2:53:40go to break, man. That was uh
2:53:42>> Oh my god.
2:53:43>> Yeah, you summarized the whole [ __ ]
2:53:44thing, man. Holy [ __ ]
2:53:46>> That's a Wow. It's a life lesson right
2:53:48there

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