Patrice O'Neal - Emotions vs. Logic — Transcript

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1. 0:00you need to battle women's emotions with
2. 0:02your logic
3. 0:03some women are so emotional right that
4. 0:06you need up like different levels of
5. 0:09logic like I first met my girl she was
6. 0:11goofy she only had chilli needed one
7. 0:13drop of logic and I would give her to
8. 0:15just so she'd go beat it down now the
9. 0:19[ __ ] knows me I gotta give her 47 level
10. 0:22logic why she still gives me the same
11. 0:24one level of emotion she just uses the
12. 0:28fact that she knows I'm gonna use logic
13. 0:29when I'm talking to her to come back
14. 0:31that [ __ ] but still have the same
15. 0:33emotion that she had coming in so I'm
16. 0:36talking to her and and and okay here's
17. 0:38my thing I tell this [ __ ] I say
18. 0:40look don't ask me a question first when
19. 0:45you Altima leave one song for me
20. 0:47don't walk in the room and say what
21. 0:49you're doing later then that makes me
22. 0:52want to lie that makes me go I don't
23. 0:55know I'm going to the moon right she
24. 0:59goes cuz I was gonna suck your balls
25. 1:02later I'm not going to the moon because
26. 1:09you Cheetos you were lying you gotta
27. 1:11stay on the same track when you want
28. 1:13some you come in and go listen I was
29. 1:15thinking about stuffing your balls are
30. 1:17you gonna be busy later you tell me what
31. 1:19the [ __ ] you want first [ __ ]
32. 1:23now I'm sitting there for hour and 10
33. 1:25minutes trying to figure it object my
34. 1:28way to her trying to let her know why
35. 1:31that puts me in a bad [ __ ] spot to
36. 1:34have to it puts it on me what how about
37. 1:38just not [ __ ] lying what you ask me
38. 1:40what you're doing later do you
39. 1:42understand you see do you see why
40. 1:46dislike even the the smart ones don't
41. 1:50[ __ ] get it now why the [ __ ] right
42. 1:54let me tell you what it is you don't
43. 1:56like sweet talk it's passive-aggressive
44. 1:58passive-aggressive and you know it is
45. 1:59it's it's cuz you're wait a minute
46. 2:02you're not tuned in to rejection
47. 2:05I'm explained to you again and then let
48. 2:07you talk you're not tuned in to
49. 2:09rejection from a man on a daily basis me
50. 2:11miss if you go can I do I want this
51. 2:15right what's wrong with coming to me
52. 2:17saying I would like you to do this for
53. 2:22me and you know why you don't do that it
54. 2:24leaves too much open for me to go no and
55. 2:26for you to be rejected but if you ask if
56. 2:29you put it on me what are you doing
57. 2:31later
58. 2:31nothing okay if you're not doing nothing
59. 2:33you think we can go to the movies now I
60. 2:36might want to do nothing honey I don't
61. 2:40want to go do you think is that simple i
62. 2:42watch of mine okay first of all wait a
63. 2:47second
64. 2:47I am all about open communication okay
65. 2:49do not get me wrong I understand what
66. 2:51you're saying and I totally appreciate
67. 2:52it as a girl you [ __ ] just get it out
68. 3:01wait a man keep that thought and this is
69. 3:03perfect this is listen lady I'm this is
70. 3:05why we need a woman on the show to let
71. 3:08you know but this is even though you're
72. 3:10super smart this is the [ __ ] you do you
73. 3:12got a preface it was something that we
74. 3:14don't want to hear firm she always was
75. 3:16funny when we said that when you said
76. 3:18that it clicked in her head and then she
77. 3:21went to level two how can i combat what
78. 3:25you said in I am agreeing with him I
79. 3:28agree we should be communicating better
80. 3:29but however if you already know that
81. 3:31your woman is gonna do that then like
82. 3:33you're already one step ahead you're
83. 3:35saying you know she does this all the
84. 3:36time if it's it's why the [ __ ] am I
85. 3:38supposed to my god okay because you
86. 3:55don't have the ability to lead you don't
87. 4:00have the ability not we will leave me to
88. 4:07do you have for what for going anyway
89. 4:11for anything do you think already you
90. 4:14see do you think man should call women
91. 4:16[ __ ] it depends on the situation do
92. 4:19you think when we should call when the
93. 4:20men should call women [ __ ] it depends
94. 4:22on
95. 4:22promise me yeah I just say hey [ __ ] not
96. 4:26if you don't know somebody why not
97. 4:27because you don't know them you don't
98. 4:29know their [ __ ] or not hmm really
99. 4:31that's good enough for you
100. 4:32yeah it is not you know why you gave me
101. 4:34no reason you just said because it's
102. 4:37disrespectful
103. 4:41I told ya I told you why hey [ __ ]
104. 4:50you're going in there assuming mm-hmm
105. 4:53you're going in there assuming that they
106. 4:54don't deserve your response [ __ ] a
107. 4:57disrespectful term because of how it's
108. 4:59used
109. 5:00don't don't women automatically expect
110. 5:04men to respect them women would treat
111. 5:10themselves better than they do and they
112. 5:12would they would act more accordingly
113. 5:14what do you I don't understand what that
114. 5:23thats why you're not good at the leading
115. 5:26thing you're not you're good soldiers
116. 5:28you're not good generals you don't want
117. 5:30a good you don't want to be in charge
118. 5:32here's what you want to be you want to
119. 5:35constantly test to see if this person
120. 5:37let me see that moving on master
121. 5:40commanders the muscle crow yes yes and
122. 5:46the guy goes the guy he's walking around
123. 5:49Russell Crowe second-in-command is
124. 5:51walking around the ship right and he's
125. 5:53trying to be friendly with the
126. 5:54[ __ ] with the with the mates
127. 5:58and and they're looking at him like just
128. 6:01[ __ ] ass [ __ ]
129. 6:03okay now Russell Crowe snatches this guy
130. 6:05first of all Russell Crowe said but he
131. 6:07saw the two the two guys looking at him
132. 6:08funny he goes get to put them up just
133. 6:10the mass and give him that cat and I
134. 6:12tell him up right and yet go and call
135. 6:15this guy and go let me tell you
136. 6:16something man
137. 6:17they not these are not your friends they
138. 6:19are looking for someone to lead them but
139. 6:22they want to be led by somebody that
140. 6:24they believe in that's a woman women
141. 6:27want to look at a guy and believe that
142. 6:30he will lead them where they need to go
143. 6:32but they gonna test him like he's a weak
144. 6:34ass second mate and if this [ __ ]
145. 6:36goes boom Dubi bubbles friend number
146. 6:39you're gonna disrespect him that's the
147. 6:41nature of the game in every single part
148. 6:45of the world and on every single level
149. 6:47the [ __ ] version of an animal is weaker
150. 6:50than a [ __ ] man version except for
151. 6:53preying mantises and men and black
152. 6:55widows yeah go down the spiders that I
153. 6:58can smash how about that
154. 7:03so other than a couple of insects what
155. 7:06about sea horses when the guys get
156. 7:07pregnant exactly that's what they have
157. 7:08to do because she knows what I'm [ __ ]
158. 7:12what about dung beetles you see what cam
159. 7:24is doing this is what your girlfriend
160. 7:25does don't lose the walk I can lose a
161. 7:31battle but win the war no [ __ ] battle
162. 7:35you [ __ ] win battles every single no
163. 7:39matter how little it is no matter how
164. 7:41insignificant you think it is
165. 7:43you fight adds an option to a life okay
166. 7:47another thing give me another story
167. 7:50about my girl found an option and this
168. 7:52is how your girl a fine option when she
169. 7:54starts opening her [ __ ] mouth
170. 7:55yesterday open [ __ ] mouth anymore
171. 7:59when she can't that old saying don't let
172. 8:02your mouth write a check understand so
173. 8:06this big black [ __ ] at at Gamestop I'm
174. 8:09talking to them you wanna you want to
175. 8:22develop a relationship with this
176. 8:23negative so I'm talking to them and this
177. 8:25[ __ ] is like oh yeah what about
178. 8:27our Gears of War what about this what
179. 8:28about that what you think it is what's
180. 8:30new what have you heard about this I
181. 8:31bought some new [ __ ] World War 2 battle
182. 8:34thing with planes and boats and [ __ ] so
183. 8:36he's a dog and this big black oh [ __ ] no
184. 8:44waitwait with nobody there to stop me
185. 8:47from punching and a [ __ ] mother
186. 8:48except for social contract the fact is
187. 8:53that she believes that socially I can't
188. 8:56hit her in a [ __ ] mouth
189. 8:57but if I was dead a screw loose I could
190. 9:00turn around and wring this bitch's neck
191. 9:01just for that now my girl did that [ __ ]
192. 9:04talking to some [ __ ] and I did
193. 9:07she's in his face I only tell you that I
194. 9:08walked away she goes whoa
195. 9:12she runs up to me right and why would
196. 9:15you do that what why would you run you
197. 9:17know he could have he could Oh what they
198. 9:22could all what I do it
199. 9:24why do man she has an option that dude
200. 9:27could have punched you in your [ __ ]
201. 9:29face and you couldn't do [ __ ] about it
202. 9:32except for look at me so you would have
203. 9:34to learn respect it trickles down for me
204. 9:41[Laughter]
205. 9:44that that little trick you doing now
206. 9:46they're my level two I always that did
207. 9:51that disregarding God calm down mr.
208. 9:54angry he's angry like that cab because
209. 9:59your ass hole not just you your people
210. 10:08because you want to get inside of us
211. 10:14apparently you they wait a minute I
212. 10:15don't want to get inside my girl no more
213. 10:20breeze bottle despicable people I don't
214. 10:25have to get [ __ ] from my girl I put up
215. 10:29with a girl I love a [ __ ] oh hey mommy
216. 10:31gotta go here
217. 10:33matter of fact we'll just let we're
218. 10:36gonna give it over to Monique and Tara
219. 10:38for five seconds we all go take shits
220. 10:43flame stages
221. 10:47my ball hands out with tweezer wait stop
222. 10:55the presses
223. 10:55say it one more time beautiful I'm on
224. 10:59the men's side I'm just want to sit on
225. 11:02back enough let two colleagues Tom hi
226. 11:06Karen you had a radio show and Yanam
227. 11:11inside because because women are
228. 11:13emotional and men are analytical men
229. 11:16will tell you what they want but they're
230. 11:17afraid to you and they know they're not
231. 11:19going to get the truth from women
232. 11:20because women can never be pinned down
233. 11:23because they want to change their mind
234. 11:25all the time didn't I just say wow like
235. 11:31and I'm not saying I'm not disagreeing
236. 11:33with them on that what I'm saying is a
237. 11:35bitter not validating our feelings like
238. 11:37if they know that we are this way why
239. 11:38are they bitching about it okay and our
240. 11:46bacon because they can never win with us
241. 11:48exactly thank you it's it's women and
242. 12:02men I have both have emotions but men
243. 12:05have tapped into this thing called
244. 12:07analytical thinking and and
245. 12:11philosophical thinking logic and that's
246. 12:13why we're up on you because you don't
247. 12:15you like when I ask you a question
248. 12:17oh just like machete who said because
249. 12:20meadow say like my girl said can't just
250. 12:22stop saying [ __ ] can't you stop acting
251. 12:24like you a pimp and all I have to do is
252. 12:26go huh do you have another option for me
253. 12:29[ __ ] you have another way from you
254. 12:31think give me a plan B I got plans for
255. 12:35you [ __ ] but why does that make
256. 12:37you right and that's wrong if we like
257. 12:42where to Weeble wobbles my falling down
258. 12:45but we're just going back and forth
259. 12:46doing right
260. 12:47you're making it or wrong do you hear
261. 12:49those double jab and O'Neill questions
262. 12:53why can't you just answer him why do you
263. 12:55always have to have either two answered
264. 12:57or none my new girlfriend means like
265. 13:03more meat now man up
266. 13:05I called harsh mm-hmm and two
267. 13:09strong-willed because if somebody asked
268. 13:10me a question I'll answer it
269. 13:12I think that's not usually what they
270. 13:14want to hear that we're not trying to do
271. 13:18that I tell the truth too so that right
272. 13:20away also Troy I remember I also try not
273. 13:22to hurt people's feelings which I think
274. 13:23it's what we do is well it's right
275. 13:28someone feeling it's fine
276. 13:31but again if you're not telling them the
277. 13:34truth it's a lot but I just feel like
278. 13:44[Laughter]
279. 13:50disagree and you want to do something
280. 13:53why do you say what do you want to do
281. 13:54why do you think all right go to movies
282. 13:58thank you all right fair enough Wow why
283. 14:00don't women just go I want to go to the
284. 14:02movies instead of going what are you
285. 14:05doing tonight
286. 14:05I have like sometimes I'm made baby for
287. 14:09calling all [ __ ] almost wanted to leave
288. 14:10our own discussion so but thanks for
289. 14:14calling sweetie sorry money Thank You
290. 14:19buttercup