Oxford Full Scholarship —Reading the Essay That Got Me In! — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:00Hello everybody and welcome to the
2. 0:02second part of the series that I am
3. 0:04doing on this channel about how I got
4. 0:09the Rhodes scholarship. I am a
5. 0:11second-year Rhodes Scholar. In my first
6. 0:13year, I did a Master of Science in
7. 0:15Sustainability Enterprise and
8. 0:17Environment and I've now moved on to my
9. 0:20second year where I'm I've started a PhD
10. 0:24in the same department in the School of
11. 0:26Geography and Environment. So, there are
12. 0:28two essays that you will have to write
13. 0:30as part of your application. You'll have
14. 0:32to write your personal statement and
15. 0:34your academic statement. And they're
16. 0:36very different, I have to say from the
17. 0:37jump. Your personal statement really is
18. 0:41exactly what it sounds like. Who are
19. 0:43you? What don't assessors see from your
20. 0:46CV?
21. 0:47Tell your story.
22. 0:49And then your academic statement is
23. 0:51specifically about the course you want
24. 0:53to pursue and why why you're prepared
25. 0:55for it, why at Oxford specifically. I'll
26. 0:58be talking about the personal statement
27. 1:00here. I'll start off with the tips and
28. 1:01then I will read mine at the end. So,
29. 1:04the first tip is be creative with it,
30. 1:07right? Remember that whoever's reading
31. 1:10your application on the other end of the
32. 1:12line is also a person. Imagine your
33. 1:14application is the last one that they're
34. 1:16reading and maybe they've read
35. 1:18100 applications that day.
36. 1:20Right? And you want to stand out and you
37. 1:22want them to remember you. Obviously,
38. 1:24don't overdo it, but be creative, be
39. 1:27captivating. The way we learn in primary
40. 1:29that you need to start with a hook, end
41. 1:31with a hook. Leave them thinking about
42. 1:33your application. Give them something to
43. 1:35remember. In literature, in primary
44. 1:38school, you learn about motifs, right?
45. 1:39Think about motifs, think about creative
46. 1:41writing strategies.
47. 1:43Do you want to fictionalize this?
48. 1:45Really, I think the style of your
49. 1:47personal statement is also an
50. 1:48opportunity for you to reflect your
51. 1:50personality. And if you're creative and
52. 1:53you haven't had the opportunity to do
53. 1:54that in any other part of the
54. 1:55application, be creative in your
55. 1:58personal statement. Write the essay that
56. 2:00you want to write. Obviously, the first
57. 2:02thing that we all do is jump onto the
58. 2:04internet and look for examples of other
59. 2:07essays and then we want to mimic it.
60. 2:09There's no such thing as the perfect
61. 2:11Rhodes Scholarship application personal
62. 2:14statement. Right? Don't write what you
63. 2:16think they want to read because this is
64. 2:18personal to you and it's specific to
65. 2:20you. So, write the essay that you want
66. 2:22to write to communicate the part of your
67. 2:23story that you want to communicate.
68. 2:26That being said, please
69. 2:30for the love of all things holy,
70. 2:34and I know in this day and age it's so
71. 2:35difficult, but please do not use ChatGPT
72. 2:39or Claude
73. 2:40or AI, rather, just broadly to write
74. 2:44your essay for you. It might help. It
75. 2:47might help you articulate better,
76. 2:50but
77. 2:51AI will not give you personality. AI
78. 2:53will not give your essay substance. It
79. 2:57won't give it appeal. It won't give it
80. 2:59spirit. It won't give it heart. If
81. 3:01you're going to use AI, use it for
82. 3:03structure, use it for grammar, use it
83. 3:05for maybe where you can fill up certain
84. 3:08things, how to end a certain sentence,
85. 3:10but you cannot use AI for a personal
86. 3:12statement. It is personal. It is not
87. 3:14you.
88. 3:15That's very important. So, write the
89. 3:17essay that you want to write, not the
90. 3:19one that your LLM wants to write. Third
91. 3:22tip, answer the question that is being
92. 3:24asked. They are prompts.
93. 3:27What is the question asking? Even if you
94. 3:30have to signpost
95. 3:32at each place where you're answering the
96. 3:35question, do that. And you'll see in my
97. 3:37essay when I read it, our prompt in 2024
98. 3:40asked about self,
99. 3:43and then it asked about others, and then
100. 3:45it asked about world. And for me, I
101. 3:47wanted to make sure that I was answering
102. 3:48each part of the question. So, literally
103. 3:50I signposted in my self, and then I
104. 3:53wrote the first third of my essay. And
105. 3:56then I signposted others, and then the
106. 3:59second third of my essay. Then I
107. 4:00signposted world, then the third part of
108. 4:03my essay. So, answer the full question.
109. 4:06Read your prompt, and make sure that
110. 4:08your essay addresses each part of the
111. 4:11question. Don't just hope that your
112. 4:13essay will be so excellent and so
113. 4:15brilliant that you'll get away with not
114. 4:16answering the full question. Answer the
115. 4:18question. Captivate. I mean by this is,
116. 4:22again,
117. 4:23don't just be boring, oh,
118. 4:26I was born in northern Namibia, then
119. 4:29after that I
120. 4:31moved, and then after moving I went to
121. 4:34school, and after school my sister was
122. 4:36born.
123. 4:38What's the story? And I always like to
124. 4:41tell the story where once in Rhodes
125. 4:43House, which is sort of where the Rhodes
126. 4:44Scholars hang out here,
127. 4:46someone walked in
128. 4:48who I didn't know, and she asked, you
129. 4:51know, you're a Rhodes Scholar, and I was
130. 4:52like, yeah. She was like, well, so
131. 4:53what's your thing? And I was like, what
132. 4:55do you mean? And she was like, no,
133. 4:57what's your thing? Like it seems like
134. 4:58every scholar has like a thing that
135. 5:00they're assigned. So, what's your thing
136. 5:02that you're solving?
137. 5:03And it's really funny because I guess
138. 5:05from the outside looking in it looks a
139. 5:07bit culty because,
140. 5:09you know, it does look like everyone has
141. 5:10a thing, but I I like that because it's
142. 5:13simple, but it's really profound. So,
143. 5:14what is your thing? From your corner of
144. 5:17the world, what are you solving? What is
145. 5:18important to you? What what skill set do
146. 5:22you have, and what skill set are you
147. 5:23developing that's going to help you
148. 5:24solve that thing? So, really captivate
149. 5:27by telling us what is your thing, and
150. 5:29tell us that in a in a creative way.
151. 5:31Maybe that's your X factor, maybe that's
152. 5:33your focus area, but what's your thing?
153. 5:34Remember, the personal statement is not
154. 5:37an autobiography,
155. 5:39but it's also not a CV. And the trick is
156. 5:42really striking a good balance. So,
157. 5:45you're not
158. 5:47telling us about your mom and your dad
159. 5:49and your siblings and where everyone was
160. 5:51born and where you moved to and what
161. 5:53your biggest fears are. But, you're also
162. 5:56not telling us the same things that
163. 5:57we're seeing in your CV. So, it's really
164. 6:00a balance where in your personal
165. 6:02statement, you do want to sprinkle in
166. 6:03some bits of how incredible you are,
167. 6:06right? But, it's also it's not a CV. I'm
168. 6:09hoping that when I read mine now, it's
169. 6:12going to be an example. I'm not saying
170. 6:14it's perfect, but it worked. What is a
171. 6:17road scholar quality that you exemplify
172. 6:20the most? It's 7:43 on a Saturday
173. 6:22morning in my home village of Onalewa,
174. 6:25northern Namibia.
175. 6:27Sounds of clucking hens fill the crisp
176. 6:30air as I walk into the kitchen.
177. 6:32The sunlight gently streaming through
178. 6:35the chipped window.
179. 6:37My mother instructs me to prepare
180. 6:39okatete, a brown, thin porridge.
181. 6:43I have always been fascinated by this
182. 6:45unassuming breakfast that doesn't take
183. 6:47itself too seriously.
184. 6:49It holds a deep cultural significance
185. 6:52exemplifying resilience, community, and
186. 6:55noble simplicity.
187. 6:57When I first arrived to the United
188. 6:59States, I struggled to relate to peers
189. 7:02who had experienced some of the best
190. 7:03pleasures that money can buy.
191. 7:06I didn't even know how to use Uber.
192. 7:09I was not particularly impressive, and I
193. 7:11was from an inconspicuous country in
194. 7:13Southern Africa that most still
195. 7:15pronounce as Nambia.
196. 7:19I was, in many ways, the underdog.
197. 7:22But, one thing I was sure about was my
198. 7:25relentlessness
199. 7:26to determine the truth about my capacity
200. 7:30and use it to the full.
201. 7:32Despite its lack of glamour,
202. 7:35okatete exemplifies virtue. It rises to
203. 7:38the occasion, and it fulfills its role
204. 7:41to the highest degree possible all the
205. 7:44time.
206. 7:45It's a characteristic that reveals my
207. 7:48most potent Road Scholar quality.
208. 7:51The unrelenting energy to transcend what
209. 7:54the world has said about poor black
210. 7:57women and utilize my talents to the
211. 7:59full.
212. 8:01When I left for China at 18 and later
213. 8:04the United States,
214. 8:06I thought that it would be for good.
215. 8:09I was enchanted by the technological and
216. 8:12economic strides that I witnessed in
217. 8:14those countries.
218. 8:16Ironically, my fascination with
219. 8:18developed economies turned my gaze
220. 8:20inwards and propelled me to evaluate
221. 8:23Namibia's progress against international
222. 8:26standards.
223. 8:27My childlike awe propelled me to ask,
224. 8:30"What if?"
225. 8:32"What if I can help replicate this
226. 8:34progress at home?"
227. 8:36One of Okatete's greatest cultural
228. 8:38characteristics is that it must not be
229. 8:40eaten alone.
230. 8:42It is designed to be a communal
231. 8:44experience. Likewise, I could not
232. 8:47indulge in the sweetness of a life
233. 8:50abroad without the paralyzing sense of
234. 8:53duty to integrate Namibia into my
235. 8:55new-found world view.
236. 8:58To solidify this intellectual duty, I
237. 9:01undertook to write and publish monthly
238. 9:03opinion editorials in Namibia's most
239. 9:06widely read newspapers. This
240. 9:08self-imposed commitment is my way of
241. 9:11staying intellectually engaged while
242. 9:13simultaneously subjecting my opinions
243. 9:16about governance to scrutiny.
244. 9:19What can you learn from others? And what
245. 9:21can others learn from you? Which is why
246. 9:23I spoke about another Road Scholar who's
247. 9:25doing amazing things in whose journey
248. 9:27um I was following.
249. 9:29And then something that I did and that I
250. 9:32can teach other people in the community
251. 9:34from having produced the show. What
252. 9:37constitutes excellent living systems?
253. 9:40What is magic made of?
254. 9:42Road scholars are undoubtedly diverse in
255. 9:45their interests and contributions to the
256. 9:47world, but their common denominator is
257. 9:50an unstoppable, unrelenting excellence.
258. 9:54What is the essence of that excellence
259. 9:56and how do we scale it beyond
260. 9:57individuals and transplanted to empower
261. 10:00societies?
262. 10:02Road scholars like Selina Brinkman, who
263. 10:04focused on successfully reducing noise
264. 10:06pollution of wind turbines, inspire my
265. 10:09hunger to glean the DNA of excellence.
266. 10:12From the Rhodes community, I want to
267. 10:15learn what is magic made of.
268. 10:17In turn, I contribute the curiosity that
269. 10:20birthed my most challenging and
270. 10:22rewarding undertaking to date, producing
271. 10:25and hosting Spotlight, a television show
272. 10:27chronicling the stories of young
273. 10:29Namibian entrepreneurs. Spotlight, a
274. 10:32two-season production which aired on
275. 10:34Namibia's biggest broadcaster, is my
276. 10:36deliberate way of nurturing my
277. 10:38fascination about people and the world.
278. 10:42The financial, legal, and mechanical
279. 10:44complexity of producing a TV show as a
280. 10:47full-time student
281. 10:49implores me to draw on courage,
282. 10:51community, and verve to see things
283. 10:54through. Lastly, it's world, and I think
284. 10:56for for world, it was what problem would
285. 10:59you like to solve from your place in the
286. 11:01world. And a nine-month long public
287. 11:03leadership fellowship at the Apolitical
288. 11:06Academy in South Africa revealed to me
289. 11:09that humanity's most pressing
290. 11:11challenges,
291. 11:13the well-known isn'ts, are underpinned
292. 11:15by a degradation of durable, reliable
293. 11:18institutions.
294. 11:20My place in the world, Southern Africa,
295. 11:23abounds with this kind of system
296. 11:24breakdown. One such system breakdown is
297. 11:28energy infrastructure.
298. 11:30The academic discipline of international
299. 11:32relations has reinforced my belief in
300. 11:34the power of living interconnected
301. 11:36systems.
302. 11:38This frame of reference, one that merges
303. 11:40a passion for both energy security and
304. 11:43for equitable policy, informs my resolve
305. 11:46to galvanize African democracies through
306. 11:49electrification.
307. 11:51Specifically, I rely on my knack for
308. 11:53policy to strengthen robust democratic
309. 11:56practice through energy security. The
310. 11:59conclusion was just playing around again
311. 12:01with that motif of okatete that I had
312. 12:04introduced. So again, the creativity. My
313. 12:07parents did not have the luxuries of
314. 12:09sugar, butter, or milk for their
315. 12:11okatete.
316. 12:13A prospective Oxford education
317. 12:15represents those ingredients. It is
318. 12:17indeed my ancestors' wildest dream.
319. 12:21I snap out of my slumber, walk to the
320. 12:23stove, fetch the milk, butter, and sugar
321. 12:27from the chipped wooden cupboard, and
322. 12:29prepare okatete like my mother
323. 12:30instructed.
324. 12:32I stir the thin porridge like my life
325. 12:34depends on it
326. 12:36because it does. So good litmus test
327. 12:38should be if you're reading your essay
328. 12:42a few years down the line, in my case
329. 12:43it's 2 years,
330. 12:45can you still infer from the way you
331. 12:47answered the question what the question
332. 12:49was? Can you guess what the question
333. 12:51was? That's how you know you're
334. 12:52answering the question. That's my
335. 12:53personal statement. I hope it's been
336. 12:55helpful. Also going to do the academic
337. 12:58statement in another video. We might do
338. 13:00the academic statement. But thanks for
339. 13:03watching.
340. 13:08>> Don't don't play with
341. 13:09[music and singing] a dummy to sign.
342. 13:11Hey,
343. 13:12still not understanding.