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Owen Cook's Top Inner Work Concepts Revealed — Transcript

by Owen Cook · 11,499 words · 1,590 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00you come all the way from your different
0:01countries you know we we must pay
0:03attention to this gentleman here that
0:05comes from all the way from Hollywood
0:07California you know to give us this very
0:09important class human beings we're we're
0:11very much attached in what's called
0:13group think all right we call that group
0:15think so social conditioning um it tells
0:19us a lot of different things and a lot
0:20of it is very good what social
0:22conditioning teaches us it gives us
0:23Community Values it gives us uh it gives
0:26us knowledge without having to
0:27experience everything firsthand what
0:29would happen if we had to go and
0:30experience every single experience
0:31firsthand in life to to have knowledge
0:33of the world die yeah you would die
0:36right Not only would you die Not only
0:37would people go can I jump off of this
0:39and they would jump off and they would
0:40die but also it would just take too much
0:42time so the way that human beings get
0:44knowledge really really fast is that we
0:46have social conditioning and our brains
0:48are actually doing something called
0:49socially pinging okay and so essentially
0:52in any social interaction here's an
0:54important principle in any social
0:56interaction there's one person who is
0:58reacting more to the other person then
1:01that person is reacting to them so if
1:04I'm speaking with you what's happening
1:06is our unconscious minds are looking to
1:08see who is more sure of themselves and
1:11if I'm more sure of myself then when I
1:13say a joke for example you might laugh
1:15at it even if it's a stupid joke on the
1:18other hand if you're more sure of
1:19yourself uh then I'll probably be
1:21reacting more to you um it's similar
1:24have you has anyone here ever been at
1:25the gym have you ever been at the gym
1:27and you're you're kind of tired and
1:28there's like the water fountain right
1:29there and you you kind of just walk
1:30right at it and then and then people
1:31just get out of your way you ever had
1:34that anyone here you go to the gym no
1:38sorry I'm from La so we all go to the
1:40gym over there uh you know or say uh
1:43okay say that you're driving right we
1:44were driving here this morning and you
1:47say which direction do you want to go in
1:48and then someone says it's that way
1:50right and then the person's completely
1:51sure of themselves so you believe them
1:53but then it turns out they were wrong
1:54have you ever had that kind of
1:56experience okay that's like another
1:57experience right because the person more
1:58sure of themselves people will listen to
2:00that person so essentially it's uh we
2:03call it socially pinging okay you guys
2:05have that in Cisco like on a network how
2:06the network pings itself all right well
2:08think of it like socially pinging and
2:10essentially what you're doing is you're
2:11looking at little subtle social cues
2:14going back and forth to see who is
2:15pinging off of who more all right um now
2:19on a certain level uh basically you want
2:22to be pinging less than the other person
2:24but you don't want to not be pinging at
2:26all because someone who is not socially
2:28pinging at all is like a homeless person
2:31you know what I'm saying you guys you
2:33ever see a homeless person like hello
2:35how are you I can get some change change
2:38they're like spitting on you and stuff
2:40like that right well they're not paying
2:42off you at all right they're stupid you
2:43know or just really I don't know what
2:45they are okay but uh you know they're
2:47not paying off you at all so you don't
2:48want to be like some crazy person who
2:50you know who's like who who has no
2:52understanding of social cues but at the
2:54same time you want to be centered in
2:55your own reality and then people look to
2:57you for Authority um so essenti and and
3:01you know we'll talk about you know
3:02different techniques for that today but
3:04the point is that there's a lot of
3:05different beliefs that are put into you
3:06through social conditioning a lot and
3:09these beliefs can even go back to how
3:10your personality was formed as a kid and
3:13you think that your personality is your
3:14personality like this is my personality
3:16but a lot of it actually you were kind
3:17of boxed into as you grew up so you can
3:20make your personality uh you know really
3:22in any different direction that you want
3:24all right but anyway this is called
3:25social conditioning so to be somebody
3:27who basically transcends social
3:29conditioning who is not affected by
3:31social conditioning essentially you have
3:33to start to look to yourself to make
3:35certain decisions you have to basically
3:38uh you know in your in your brain you
3:40have almost like a decision-making
3:41muscle all right making decisions it's
3:43like a muscle and you don't look to
3:45necessarily to other people to make
3:46decisions you look to yourself to make
3:47decisions um and this comes with time
3:49right this basically just you know it
3:51comes with time uh but that but anyway
3:53essentially what we're unplugging from
3:55here is something called group think
3:57okay most people are so plugged into
3:59group think it it is crazy right and
4:01like I said group thing can be a good
4:03thing or a bad thing but generally
4:04speaking it's often a bad thing in fact
4:06um if you look at the recent economic
4:09recession why did that economic
4:11recession take place well you had the
4:12banks a lot of different banks up in New
4:14York and uh they thought okay let's go
4:17and trade um these uh sub let's go and
4:20do all these subprime Prime mortgages
4:21and then everyone else was like yeah
4:23we're making money right and there was
4:24people that knew not to do it there was
4:26lots of people that knew that we were
4:28taking the country and the banking
4:29system in a bad Direction but because
4:31the group think is taking place everyone
4:33just goes with the flow they just go
4:35with the flow they don't say anything
4:37and then they allow that destruction to
4:38take place um but also a lot of like the
4:41Real Genius that you have will also take
4:43place when you're not plugged into group
4:45think uh in fact even if you're not that
4:47intelligent okay I don't consider myself
4:49to be highly intelligent but anything
4:51intelligent that I ever did do probably
4:54was because I was not in group think
4:57okay I was not letting the group tell me
4:58how to think and when you stop looking
5:00to the group to tell you how to think
5:02that's when you have a lot of original
5:03ideas and you can come up with original
5:05Solutions you have to learn to trust
5:07yourself you have to learn to rely on
5:09yourself uh in my company we call this
5:11trusting in your faculties having trust
5:14in yourself and that doesn't come from
5:16being arrogant that's not an arrogant
5:18mind state of like you know oh I'm the
5:19best or I'm narcissistic or an egomaniac
5:21okay probably everyone in here is a
5:23little bit of an egomaniac right because
5:24you have to trust yourself to some
5:25extent but the point is is that you know
5:27it really you can actually be humble but
5:29trust in yourself okay so this is the
5:31main idea in terms of your confidence is
5:32unplugging from group think and you'll
5:34see group think everywhere you'll see it
5:36all around you you'll see it in your
5:38meetings when you know that a bad
5:40decision is being made and you know that
5:41people are going along with different
5:42ideas and if you want to be an innovator
5:44you have to be able to challenge that
5:46and not in a conflicting way not in a
5:47way that offends people but you have to
5:49very calmly and from a very centered
5:51Place challenge those ideas to bring
5:53your leadership out all right so this is
5:55a this is a first concept that we're
5:56throwing at you which is social
5:58conditioning I want you also when when
5:59you think about social conditioning you
6:00can think about a lot of other things
6:01for example the music that is out there
6:03do you guys notice how a lot of music
6:04that's really popular is not that good I
6:07don't know if you guys notice that
6:07you're like I like that I like Britney
6:09Spears you know right a lot of the music
6:12a lot of the films that are out there
6:13are based on social conditioning bad bad
6:16uh political problems is based on social
6:18conditioning is based on group think to
6:19be a leader you have to be able to
6:20unplug from group think okay now I want
6:23you to think of of uh like as if you
6:25have two different muscles okay you have
6:27two different muscles in your brain
6:29think of your brain like a muscle one of
6:31the muscles is seeing the world through
6:33your own eyes Okay seeing the world
6:35through your firsthand experience seeing
6:36the world through your assessment of a
6:38situation and then the other muscle is
6:40looking to other people to tell you how
6:42to think and to tell you how to act I
6:44want you to think of it like a plant
6:46okay so if any of you guys grow
6:48plants you know say that you have a wall
6:51right and then you grow the plant over
6:53the wall like this you know say that you
6:57grow the plant like that
6:59the plant can very easily grow tall by
7:01growing it over the wall but what
7:03happens if you take that wall away from
7:04that
7:06plant anyone here grow plants no one
7:09grows plants does anyone here to speak
7:12English you're like this seor is crazy
7:14man yeah yeah okay so if anyone here
7:18okay who here has a plant in their house
7:21what kind of plant any plant any just
7:23please God just give me a plant just lie
7:25to me lie to me you have a
7:27plant okay
7:30okay I live in Los Angeles I actually
7:31keep a lot of plants in my house cuz it
7:33clears the air of all the pollution in
7:34Los Angeles I have kids so I don't want
7:36them to like grow up like really stupid
7:38but anyway uh okay so if you take this
7:40wall okay say that you grow a plant over
7:42a wall right that wall is supporting the
7:44plant and the plant will grow up over
7:45the wall and it will and it will create
7:48all of its strength assuming that that
7:49wall is there if you take the wall out
7:52that plant is going to crumble it's
7:53going to fall down this is most people
7:56with group think we're mentally lazy
7:59human being we want to save time and
8:00energy we don't want to use more time
8:02and energy than we need to all forms of
8:05life are like this a general rule of
8:07life and biology is we are always trying
8:09to save time and energy it's to the
8:11point did you know that if you were to
8:12fly into space anyone here been to space
8:14no me neither well if you were to fly
8:16into space uh and you were to stay up
8:19there for a few months when you came
8:20down do you know what would happen to
8:21your
8:22bones anyone ever heard this your bones
8:25are brittle your bones don't even stay
8:27strong cuz they go oh I can save time
8:30and energy I don't need to be all strong
8:31I can be weak have you ever noticed that
8:34kids a lot of the time who grow up rich
8:35if they have Rich parents often times
8:38not always but often times can be
8:40mentally weak have you ever met a kid
8:42who had great parents that gave him a
8:43lot of money growing up and he's
8:45mentally weak why is that cuz his
8:48parents are like this wall here he he
8:50hasn't had any experiences that give him
8:52any depth to his character he hasn't had
8:54to deal with any adversity he hasn't had
8:55to deal with any problems in his life so
8:57when he gets a little problem like Mom I
8:58hate you Mom
9:00you ruined my
9:02life you know because he's never had a
9:04problem before so they're spoiled right
9:06um America's the worst for this by the
9:08way it's the worst you know I grew up
9:09I'd see like little rich girls coming to
9:10school like their dad would give them a
9:11BMW for their 16th birthday and they'd
9:14bring it to school with like a bow on it
9:15and they'd be like you embarrass me you
9:17embarrass me Mom right they be mad that
9:19they got a car for their 16th birthday
9:21CU they have never had a problem before
9:23uh well anyway the point being is that
9:26when you unplug from group think are
9:28Minds like group think our minds don't
9:30we don't want to have to think what's
9:32the most popular uh hobby outside of you
9:36know in the world the most popular hobby
9:37watching television we just sit there
9:40duh watching television get home from
9:43work duh American American Idol right or
9:46whatever you I don't know what you guys
9:47watch okay some crap like
9:49that you know you just watch American
9:51Idol and because you don't have you
9:53don't need to think people generally
9:54speaking don't like to think now on the
9:56flip side when you enjoy thinking when
9:57you start to enjoy using your mind it
9:59gets addictive you like using your mind
10:01you like to actually use your brain
10:02could be tough though I've got you know
10:04I'm a young parent right I have two kids
10:05now and it's harder to use my brain I
10:08got to admit because the kids are
10:09screaming all the time when when when
10:12you gotta wake up in the middle of the
10:13night feed my kids and stuff you know
10:14I'm tired right so we always you know
10:16it's like it's hard to to use your brain
10:18okay it is but you have to learn how to
10:20use your brain and uh when you're
10:22unplugging from group think you're
10:24learning to use your brain in a new way
10:26and it can hurt because you're not
10:28necessarily confident of yourself you're
10:30not necessarily believing in what you
10:31have to say but it is a skill you must
10:33learn if you want to be a leader to stop
10:35pinging off of other people don't look
10:37to other people for what to do but then
10:40on the flip side don't be arrogant you
10:41know look to your in to other
10:43intelligent people who you trust and
10:44find out what's going on but when you
10:46listen to them listen to them based on
10:48the facts not based on how sure of
10:50themselves they look necessarily because
10:52a lot of a lot of the time in business
10:55leadership they get to that point not
10:57necessarily because of because of hard
10:58skills intelligence but because they're
11:00just good at bullshitting they're just
11:02like yeah right they just walk they have
11:04no filter they just believe in whatever
11:06they say and then people people just go
11:08with it you know what I'm saying like
11:09let me let me give you let me give you
11:11an example okay I'll talk about
11:13something that I don't know anything
11:14about okay I don't know that much about
11:15your guys' networks at Cisco give me
11:17give me an example of something at Cisco
11:19I'd probably know nothing
11:20about H LD hld okay and what what type
11:25of thing is that just to give a general
11:26direction just a general thing and I'm
11:28going to tell all about it and I'm going
11:30to tell you guys what to do with it to
11:31get your your stock price up okay this
11:33this is a document with a high level
11:36design of a network okay guys look we're
11:38here to talk about hld today okay this
11:41is a document which is very very
11:43important for this company to get the
11:44stock price up if you guys don't get hld
11:47working immediately do you know what
11:49could
11:50happen a lot of bad stuff guys all right
11:53so what I want you to do is I want you
11:54to take the hld and I want you to go to
11:57the water fountain I want you to cover
11:58it with water starting today okay now
12:01once it's covered with water I want you
12:02to take this coke can right here and
12:04pour it on it and then take it and
12:06squeeze the water in the coke back into
12:08the Coke can all right then we're going
12:10to feed it to
12:11him this is guys this is going to get
12:15the stock price
12:16up does this make sense no this makes no
12:20freaking sense right okay this makes no
12:21sense at all but the point is is that is
12:24that if if you're plugged into group
12:26think you can hear all sorts of things
12:27that make no sense at all
12:29uh because the person seems like they
12:30know what they're talking about well if
12:32you're if you're looking to them to to
12:35know how to
12:36think you're going to be going a lot of
12:38different bad directions and what's
12:40fascinating about a company like Cisco
12:41Cisco is a big company right how many
12:44what do you guys do in Revenue per year
12:45just to get an idea does anyone here
12:47know is it like in the
12:50billions that's a lot of cash right yeah
12:53I've never seen that much cash before uh
12:56probably never will but uh yeah you guys
12:59are doing billions in revenues and
13:00what's cool about that is that um
13:03everything that human beings have ever
13:04accomplished we've done it in teams
13:06we've done it by working together we've
13:07done it by working synergistically
13:09interdependently that's where the most
13:11amazing things are accomplished but the
13:12downside of any powerful organization is
13:15that group think will eventually seep
13:17into it and also uh you know different
13:19structures within organizations can
13:21become too thick they can become too
13:22slow to move this is interesting like
13:24take a company like mine I'm a I run a
13:26small business and uh we actually out
13:28comp compete a lot of much much bigger
13:30companies why because even though we
13:32only have about 50 people on our staff
13:34we're fast we make fast decisions we
13:36give very blunt feedback to each other
13:38if I'm screwing up my staff tells me I'm
13:39screwing up they say it in a polite way
13:41they say it unemotionally but they'll
13:42tell me straight up there's a lot of
13:44good open communication and then in
13:45clients that we work with if I'm working
13:47with a client whose ideas are stupid I'm
13:50going to tell them these ideas are not
13:52going to work I'm not going to say
13:54they're stupid but I'll say this is not
13:55going to work right do do you guys here
13:57ever have problems where your clients
13:58are telling you to do things that are
13:59maybe not going to work they want
14:01specific things right and so you the
14:03skill comes down to not paying off of
14:05them but calmly and from a very centered
14:07Place explaining to them why it's not
14:09going to work all right now a skill that
14:11Stephen has anyone here ever read Steven
14:13cvy before yeah Steven cubby The Seven
14:15Habits of Highly affected people well I
14:17think this is an amazing book uh you
14:19kind of have to be in a certain place in
14:21your life to read it I remember I first
14:22read it when I was 22 and I thought it
14:23sucked I didn't like it at all but then
14:25I read it again when I was around 29
14:26running you know running my small
14:28company and it made a lot more sense to
14:30me I view it like like amazing uh well
14:32anyway one of the most important skills
14:34that he talks about is he says seek
14:35first to understand then to be
14:38understood so seek first to understand
14:40then to be understood and the reason why
14:42is because if somebody doesn't feel like
14:44you understand them no matter what you
14:46say they're not you're not they're not
14:47going to listen to it right that was why
14:49earlier when I came in earlier this week
14:51and I Tred to learn everything about
14:52your guys's job as project manager which
14:53I probably still did a bad job of it but
14:55I tried really hard I did that because I
14:57know you're not going to want to hear
14:58what I have to say unless unless you
14:59feel like I understand what your job is
15:01um and and I would like to hear more
15:02about it today uh but anyway so the
15:04skill there is elicit from them what
15:05they want and then feed back to them
15:07what they said so so say that they say
15:10uh you know I want
15:12ABC you say to them okay so you would
15:15like a b and c because of this and this
15:18and this you say it a little bit shorter
15:19than they said it just so they know that
15:20you understand it I'm like I'm like is
15:21that correct they're like yeah that's
15:23correct you're like cool well in my
15:26experience so you're not even
15:27conflicting with them or arguing with
15:29them so the ego the ego is taken out of
15:31it especially cuz people in high power
15:33positions that are paying a lot of money
15:34to Cisco they probably maybe not
15:36probably but in certain cases they're
15:37going to have a big
15:38ego so you say in my experience we found
15:43this and this and this to work how does
15:45that sound right and you're not pinging
15:48off of them don't look to their reaction
15:49just be centered within yourself and
15:52then from there they can take it or
15:53leave it and you say all right well this
15:55is what I've advised you you know you
15:56can decide right and you know I'd like
15:57to learn more about how you guys
15:58communicate but this is would be an
15:59example again of not thinking off of
16:02group think not using group think uh
16:04group think like I said to sort of
16:06conclude group think one of the best
16:08things that human beings have it allows
16:09us to learn so much but at the same time
16:11is also one of our biggest weaknesses
16:13okay thinking off of group think is what
16:15kills Innovation it kills uh efficiency
16:18in business and things like that it lets
16:20businesses Go in all sorts of bad
16:21directions because the group thing
16:23starts to just get going and we go with
16:26it all right okay now uh we're going to
16:29go on to another principle here which I
16:30really like and that is the idea of
16:33cultivating something that I call Core
16:35confidence so I'm basically going to
16:36make a distinction here okay we're going
16:38to a new area which is the distinction
16:40between core confidence and situational
16:45confidence so what are the differences
16:47there all right well I want you to think
16:49of a situation where you feel very very
16:51confident okay um let's say that you
16:54just got a brand new haircut and you got
16:56some new shirt and you're walking down
16:58the stre you feel really really good and
17:00someone looks at you you know what do
17:01you think to yourself you're probably
17:02like damn I look
17:03good they think I'm hot you know right
17:06or something like that you
17:08know uh you know that would be an
17:10example where because of the situation
17:12because what you because what you're
17:13wearing for example it gives you an
17:15extra little bit of confidence um think
17:17of another example let's say that you're
17:19throwing a party and it's your party and
17:21you feel really really good at your
17:23party and everyone keeps coming up to
17:24you like man this party is awesome dude
17:28party is amazing right you're like wow
17:31thanks right let's say girls are coming
17:32up to you right this party is so good
17:35thank you so much right see the look on
17:37his face he already feels really good
17:40right
17:42so so you know and then and so everyone
17:45says wow you know you're running this
17:46great party or let's say that you're
17:48doing something where you feel very good
17:49at what you do you're just really really
17:51good at it think of anything that you're
17:52really really good at and in that
17:54situation uh you know you just feel
17:56awesome or think of when you have all
17:57your friends and family around you you
17:59have a lot of loved ones around you you
18:00feel really really awesome now now let's
18:02imagine let's imagine this let's imagine
18:04that you're dressed amazing you got a
18:06new haircut you got all your friends and
18:08family around you you're running a party
18:10and you're doing something you're really
18:11good at how good are you going to feel
18:14pretty awesome right so that's pretty
18:16cool but the question that I would ask
18:18you is why can you if it's just an
18:19emotion and emotions really are
18:21generated from within why can we not
18:23feel that way most of the time well it's
18:26because a lot of the times our
18:27confidence is based on the situation
18:29it's not based on a core value within
18:31ourselves um now part of that is a good
18:33thing right I mean it makes sense that
18:34you'd be more confident in certain
18:36situations than others and there's
18:38reasons for that but you gener you
18:40generally want to shift that confidence
18:42to something I would call core value
18:44it's basically a belief that you have
18:46value inherently just you have value
18:48you're a person of value you're a man or
18:50woman of value and that's it I want you
18:53to think of it like you have kind of
18:54like a thermometer okay like this and
18:58basic you know usually maybe you're
18:59somewhere around there wherever you are
19:01based in your own personal range and
19:03that's whatever emotional state that
19:04you're in and what your brain is going
19:06to do is it's going to Ping off of the
19:09environment it looks at the environment
19:11and it looks at things like how well do
19:13you fit in uh how much Authority do you
19:15have in the environment how many
19:16alliances and different people who you
19:18know are in the environment and then
19:20what it does is it gives you a certain
19:21amount of confidence certain amount of
19:23State it's almost like a chemical that's
19:25in your brain and uh it actually gives
19:27it to you and the reason why it does
19:29this is very interesting uh but it
19:32actually goes back to like the caveman
19:33times so if you want to actually
19:35understand your emotions and why you do
19:36what you do a lot of the time you can
19:38look at evolutionary history you can
19:40look at like how you were as a caveman
19:42uh so when we look at this nice room
19:43here we're sitting here in Cisco we got
19:45you know some fluorescent lights and uh
19:48you know nice nice table right here
19:51Blackberry don't mind if I borrow this
19:53check my email that'd be bad uh you know
19:56it's like we live in modern Society
19:59right and we take this for granted uh
20:01but how long have human beings really
20:02lived in modern society
20:05for 100 years yeah like a 100 years
20:08right even if you go back as far as a
20:11thousand years ago Humanity was in a
20:12dark age you know what the Dark Ages we
20:16were human beings in Europe were living
20:17in such poverty basically just it was it
20:19was basically just like Little Farms of
20:21people like just eating practically
20:22nothing there was almost no uh there was
20:24almost no like uh books or anything like
20:26that in fact one of the ways that the
20:28books were oberved from Rome was that
20:30the church did it actually the church
20:31saved a lot of our literature and things
20:33like that we were in a dark age um
20:35before that if you go back 10 or 20,000
20:37years ago we lived in tribes now if
20:40you're in a tribe let's say that you're
20:41let's say that you're in your tribe and
20:42then you see some other tribe where you
20:44don't know anybody and you go in there
20:47and you're like
20:49hey what's up man how you
20:54doing like that right what's going to
20:57what's the other people in the tribe
20:58there's no law they're not going what
20:59are they going to do they're going to
21:01take a rock yeah they're going to
21:05go and you're dead
21:09Okay and they're not going to get in
21:11trouble they're probably just would eat
21:12you or
21:14something so so we have this emotion to
21:17stop us from doing that we have these
21:19emotions so that when we go into the
21:21other don't worry I'm not get to G I'm
21:22I'm good I'm good
21:23okay sorry man sorry dude all right so
21:27you know when you go into when you go
21:29into
21:32a all right so okay how's your social
21:35conditioning now yeah yeah yeah
21:37yeah okay so when you okay so you go
21:39into the other tribe and um and what and
21:42what would happen is basically if you're
21:43in a new environment it would it would
21:45make my brain say don't do that because
21:46he'll kill me so it actually lowers my
21:49confidence and what would happen is my
21:51voice would get more like hey what's up
21:53like hey how's it yeah
21:56awesome like that right it makes makes
21:58you more shy uh it does that to help you
22:01that's to help you it means that you
22:02won't go into like environments where
22:04you don't have authority and status and
22:05do something stupid and human beings
22:08that did not have that power they got
22:10killed and they didn't have babies and
22:12because they didn't have babies you
22:14didn't evolve that that characteristic
22:16the human beings that actually had a
22:17natural healthy fear of foreign
22:19environments they had more kids they had
22:22us and that's why our personalities have
22:24this this device where if we feel very
22:27confident we become open our voices open
22:29up our body language becomes loose we
22:31just relax we can joke around we can be
22:33at ease but when we're in an environment
22:35where we don't feel Authority we kind of
22:37shut down we we call it likey I call it
22:40stifled okay I call it stifling so think
22:43of it like if you have a uh a cup so
22:46maybe I could steal the outside cup of
22:48this uh think of it like you have a cup
22:51it's almost like this thing that kind of
22:52stifles you in it holds you it holds you
22:54from expressing yourself right you can't
22:56express yourself whereas when you're
22:57unstifled you can you can be more
23:00expressive
23:04um so here's what's interesting about
23:06that emotional device that we have in
23:08terms of our confidence that emotional
23:10device is not that relevant anymore it's
23:13sometimes important but at the same time
23:15if you got if you go into a uh uh
23:18someone okay you you you go is it called
23:20a contractor what is it that these
23:22people that hire you what are they
23:22called customer a customer okay let's
23:25say that you go to a customer's place
23:26right and you want to help the as much
23:28as you can you want to do a great job
23:31and you want to communicate with
23:32confidence is that customer going to
23:34take a rock at your head and I don't
23:36like your job like that is that likely
23:39to happen has that happen to anyone here
23:42no okay hasn't happened yet
23:48okay okay very closely now but what's
23:51interesting what's ironic about
23:53confidence here's here's the irony about
23:56it is that actually when you're less see
23:59what what could happen is that they
24:00don't want to work with you anymore or
24:02they might not like the work that you do
24:03that's would probably be like a worst
24:04case scenario uh but what's interesting
24:06about it is that by going in there with
24:08like a low confidence that's actually
24:10not going to make them like your work
24:12more you know if you're like hey I did
24:14this for
24:16you that that's not going to make that's
24:18not going to make them like it more so
24:20ironically that same thing that's meant
24:21to make you be more like you know polite
24:23and submissive a lot of the time it
24:25actually takes away from the power of
24:26what it is that you're doing so
24:28generally speaking in terms of your
24:29state you want to shift that sort of
24:31criteria the criteria that you have in
24:33your mind that lets you go into that
24:35good positive like confident emotional
24:37state you want to shift that internally
24:39so that it's a core confidence the way
24:42that you want to think of it is like you
24:43have value purely because it comes from
24:46you okay just like I have value right
24:50and also you want to you want to believe
24:51that you have value because of your
24:52technical expertise you know more no
24:58well maybe in that particular situation
24:59but I see what you're saying I think in
25:01general confidence you want to have you
25:02want to believe that you have value
25:03because it comes from you and in
25:05situations where you know the most and
25:07you're bringing the most to the table
25:08it's like look I know the most here I
25:11trust myself it's a self trust having
25:13self trust that you don't need to be
25:14thinking all the time you can just relax
25:16and become what's called centered in
25:18yourself that's what they call centered
25:20so for example when a fighter goes into
25:22a fight or like a great basketball
25:23player or football player uh goes and
25:25does what they do uh they become present
25:28to the moment they stop thinking they
25:30become present to what they're doing
25:32maybe when you go uh you know on a hike
25:34in the forest or something like that it
25:35makes you present to the moment or when
25:37you spend time with your family and
25:38you're having fun it makes you present
25:39to the moment well presence is a very
25:41amazing thing because presence actually
25:43transmits on other people when you're
25:45present to the moment it actually helps
25:47other people to feel present to the
25:48moment and get out of their head and get
25:50out of all that frustration and and fear
25:52do you ever work with people who feel
25:54who are in a state of fear or are stuck
25:56in their heads and thinking of
25:57everything that could go wrong it's
25:58making them negative does that
26:00happen yeah okay so when you can become
26:03present you can actually help to draw
26:06them out of that emotional state think
26:07of it like the sun and there's like
26:09these clouds right and you want to help
26:11the clouds to part so that the sun can
26:14come through you know so if someone is
26:16giving you is giving you trouble and you
26:17stay present with them you can help them
26:19to become present to the moment you can
26:21help them to get into the moment all
26:23right and exercise for that if you want
26:24to do it but I know most of you won't do
26:26it but for the one or two people here to
26:28do it it could really change your life
26:29is something called just sitting down
26:31and breathing for say 10 or 20 minutes a
26:33night just sitting on a chair and quiet
26:35and just
26:37like like that and just clear your mind
26:40and you'll become very very present and
26:42what you'll find is you'll start to feel
26:44really good you'll feel really good
26:46what's funny is you'll actually feel
26:47better just just sitting there doing
26:49nothing for 20 minutes just breathing
26:50and being present to the moment just
26:52feeling the aliveness in your body
26:54you'll feel better doing that a lot of
26:55the time than different stimulation that
26:57you're getting that's actually the
26:58principle of meditation that's right but
27:01sometimes when I tell people to do
27:03meditation what happens is it gets
27:04because say that you're Christian then
27:06you get associations you're like oh is
27:08that from Eastern religion right am I
27:10going to try to reincarnate myself or
27:11something something ridiculous but
27:13you're right that's exactly what it is
27:14that's called meditation but really what
27:16meditation is basically is just
27:17breathing no matter what your background
27:19is something that you can benefit from
27:20and in fact when you do meditation when
27:22you do breathing every day what happens
27:24is that when people yell at you you
27:26don't really get affected by it when
27:28people mess with your emotions you don't
27:30really feel anything because you learn
27:32to stop drawing your emotional state off
27:34of other people and you draw your
27:35emotional state from within yourself you
27:37feel at peace within yourself okay so
27:39that's the idea of basically being uh
27:41centered to the moment so essentially
27:43what we call this is drawing state from
27:46within yourself now why do we do this
27:48well there's something that we call the
27:50law of State
27:52transference okay why don't you guys
27:54repeat that after me okay it's called
27:55The Law of State transference say it
27:56with me the law law of State
27:59transference okay that was a really
28:00terrible let's try that again okay you
28:03guys got to say with me you got to
28:04remember this very important okay the
28:06law of State transference all
28:10right I'm going to make you guys do some
28:12pretty crazy things later today I'm
28:13going get you guys a lot louder uh the
28:15law of State transference what does that
28:17mean the law of State transference is
28:19the idea that whatever state that you
28:20feel people are going to feel that off
28:22of you they're going to feel that coming
28:24from you so if you're in a state of like
28:26you're not sure of yourself people will
28:29probably feel that coming off of you and
28:30then they're not going to feel sure of
28:31what's going on on the other hand if you
28:33feel if you feel very happy people will
28:36uh you know people will feel very happy
28:38around you if you are laughing other
28:41people will laugh around you you know
28:44it's like whatever sayate that you feel
28:45they feel there's a great book uh by a
28:47guy named Daniel Goldman it's called
28:49emotional intelligence and another one
28:51called social intelligence and see I see
28:53a couple you guys read that's cool and
28:54basically what he says is that human
28:56beings we have something called mirror
28:57neurons and mirror neurons is the idea
29:00that we can actually feel what other
29:02people are feeling we can actually feel
29:03what's going on with other people
29:05intuitively we can feel it immediately
29:07why do we have this well say that you
29:08were in the jungle when you're a caveman
29:11and some lion comes up to eat your
29:12friend and your friend is
29:14like like that you would then
29:17immediately feel that fear off of him
29:18and then it would make you run away
29:20because if you're like why is he afraid
29:22what are you afraid of what's going on
29:25BL right you would just get you get
29:27eaten come the lunch of some lion so you
29:31know people who basically don't want to
29:33become don't want to become lunch of
29:34somebody else we have these things
29:35called mirror neurons and they feel that
29:38they feel basically that emotional state
29:39off of you so when when you when you
29:42condition yourself to draw state from
29:43within yourself now you're not at the
29:46mercy of your environment anymore a
29:48great way to train yourself is when
29:50you're in traffic anyone here from
29:53sollo yeah you guys ever get stuck in
29:54traffic down there yeah okay Mexico City
29:58Mexico dayf anyone Mexico dayf all right
30:00you guys ever get stuck in traffic yeah
30:02all right okay I'm from Los Angeles so I
30:04get stuck in traffic too a great way to
30:06condition yourself is when you're
30:07sitting there in this really horrible
30:09traffic just make the decision to be in
30:11a really good mood sounds funny right
30:13just make the decision to become present
30:15to the moment stop thinking just go into
30:18your
30:21body okay I'm driving right because it's
30:24a moment of your life right it's like
30:27you only have so many moments of your
30:29life right you know stuck in traffic
30:31kind of sucks but it's a m it's still a
30:34moment of your life you're not going to
30:36get it back you can't get it back so you
30:40might as well make the choice to be
30:41happy all right you might as well make
30:43the choice to be happy uh because
30:46ultimately you know it's it's your life
30:49right so essentially you want to be
30:51conditioning yourself to draw state from
30:53within yourself this is what allows you
30:54to be one of those people who walks
30:55through the world with ease somebody who
30:58other people look to as an anchor for
30:59their emotions okay if you actually look
31:02at chimpanzee tribes in chimpanzee
31:05tribes what they do the different
31:06chimpanzees is they actually look to the
31:08alpha male to continually see what
31:11emotional state the alpha male is in
31:13they actually do they they've tested
31:14this about every 30 seconds the chimp
31:16like this and they're just
31:18like 30
31:20seconds uh 30 seconds later like this
31:23they keep doing it because they want to
31:24see the emotional Tempo so a leader is
31:27someone someone who has to Anchor the
31:29group to a positive emotional state you
31:32anchor the group to that you are
31:34grounded in your own energy so where
31:36other people are going all
31:38crazy I don't like this or I don't like
31:40that right you're just like you're like
31:42all right how can we deal with that
31:44what's the right step forward right you
31:46just say within
31:48yourself all right so that's basically
31:50the idea of drawing state from within
31:52yourself okay
31:55um what we're going to go to next is
31:57idea of having a strong sense of reality
31:59so this will be our sort of our next
32:00topic that we'll talk about okay so we
32:01shifting into a different topic right
32:03now having a strong sense of
32:05reality all right so human beings
32:08basically what we do we talked about
32:09this is that we actually ping off of our
32:12environment to learn what our sense of
32:14reality is to learn what's normal so you
32:17could travel into all sorts of different
32:18places right you could travel into India
32:20and people there wear a funny like
32:22turbine on their head what would happen
32:24where you're from if you what would
32:25happen if you came to Cisco with a a big
32:27a turban on your
32:29head today like say you came to Cisco
32:33with a with a towel on your
32:36head kind of weird right on the other
32:39hand there's other countries where you
32:40have to let your beard grow if you don't
32:42shave if you were to shave your face it
32:43looks like you're like you're uh trying
32:46to pick up girls or something you know
32:47it's like you know you're supposed to
32:48have a beard in some countries women
32:50aren't even allowed to wear uh aren't
32:52even allowed to show their knees the
32:53fact that you have short sleeve a short
32:55sleeve shirt on the men would be going
32:57crazy
32:58you know they'd be all angry because
32:59it's a different culture this is what we
33:01call cultural conditioning different
33:03cultures there's different there's
33:04different cultural conditioning so
33:07basically what we do as human beings is
33:09we are always looking to see what the
33:11what the culture is what is you know
33:12what what is going on to determine you
33:15know our sense of reality to have to
33:16have a sense of reality
33:19um well like I said I believe that your
33:21sense of reality is like a muscle your
33:22sense of reality is actually like a
33:23muscle that you develop over time
33:25probably when you're young your sense of
33:28reality was very weak and then as you
33:30get older your sense of reality becomes
33:32stronger and stronger what I believe is
33:34that as you get older and older your
33:35sense of reality becomes more and more
33:37shaped and defined over time in a
33:38positive way but also can sometimes be
33:40in a negative way too because anything
33:42that's a bad habit you might get stuck
33:43in it and not want to change it so it
33:45can be good and bad uh but anyway I
33:47listed here what certain things are
33:49basically as far as your sense of
33:50reality okay so I wrote who you are what
33:54you value what kind of vibe you have
33:56around you and what kind of boundaries
33:58that you have so let's stop and think a
34:00little bit about that okay what I
34:02believe is that most people do not have
34:04a strong sense of who they are I think
34:06most people really don't uh I believe
34:08that most people look to others to
34:09Define themselves they look for social
34:12feedback uh if you look at our
34:13generation people do things like
34:15Facebook what's the one in Latin America
34:17called bio or something what's it called
34:19no that's Europe what's the Facebook of
34:21Latin America there's a really or is
34:23Facebook taken over now Facebook has
34:25taken over now yeah okay that's
34:27interesting the was or I think the
34:30before Facebook or was theot okay all
34:33right cool um okay I actually work with
34:37the guys at Facebook sometimes and uh
34:38they're interesting people um anyway uh
34:41okay most people like you know they're
34:43posting on Facebook like posting their
34:45pictures up do people like it what do
34:46they think of it right people are
34:48looking to other people uh to know who
34:50they are right it's like who am I does
34:52he like me does he think I'm cool what
34:55does he think of me and that's how they
34:57Define themselves
34:58um likewise in terms of people's values
35:00I think a lot of people don't really
35:01know what they value in fact a lot of
35:03our values really a lot of the time
35:05comes from consumer culture oh what kind
35:07of car do you drive what kind of brands
35:09do you like uh what kind of watch do you
35:11have what kind of uh you know what kind
35:13of uh car do you drive what kind of you
35:16know what kind of house do you live in
35:17things like that consumer culture a lot
35:19of our modern culture conditions us to
35:21think that however much achievement we
35:22have that's how we should value
35:23ourselves that's what we should value in
35:25life look at these magazines in America
35:28we have Us magazine do you guys have
35:29magazines like that down in down in
35:31Latin America right where it shows
35:33different celebrities you know this
35:34celebrity looks like this and this
35:36celebrity did this diet and you know
35:37this kind of stuff it's really
35:39ridiculous actually it's really very
35:41very ridiculous because really our
35:43culture like our you know our modern
35:45culture a lot of the time there's a
35:46vacuum there's a lack of values in our
35:49culture in the past many different
35:51cultures would would have values like
35:53Integrity uh would have values like
35:55honor or you know family or having
35:57having fun or things like that right
35:58that's what people would value but in
36:00modern society often times there's a
36:02vacuum and so we get sucked into
36:03consumer culture uh you know as our
36:06sense of values and uh that's stupid it
36:09doesn't really make any sense because
36:10life is short and you really have nobody
36:12to impress so uh that being the case
36:15when we're looking here at having a
36:17strong sense of reality we look at first
36:19of all who you are so knowing who you
36:21are having a strong sense of who you are
36:23it means not knowing it means that
36:25you're basically not looking to other
36:26people to tell you who you are are so
36:28when I look at myself an example just
36:29throw some examples out there I'm a
36:31father uh I'm a public speaker I'm
36:34someone who creates different ideas to
36:35help people with social skills and help
36:37people with confidence I'm a world
36:39traveler I love to read you know things
36:41like that uh you know I like to
36:43contribute positivity to the world I
36:45want to make the world better than when
36:46I left it things like that right so I
36:48know who I am and if someone says that
36:49guy's a big jerk or I don't like that
36:51guy I don't really care when I say I
36:54don't really care I mean it I really
36:55don't care I probably almost don't care
36:56too much I really don't care uh because
36:59I know who I am I'm not looking for
37:00other people to tell me who I am and you
37:02have to be the same all right don't look
37:04to other people to tell you who you are
37:06when you know who you are when you have
37:07a strong sense of identity of who you
37:09are the result of that is that you don't
37:11lose confidence when other people
37:13challenge you you're not losing
37:14confidence when other people don't agree
37:17likewise as far as your values if you
37:19lack a clear sense of what your values
37:21are well then what happens is you're
37:23like a you're like a leaf in the wind
37:24you can be blown around you lack a clear
37:27concept of what you value well what does
37:28it mean to have a clear concept of what
37:29you value what are some values that
37:31people in this room have what are some
37:32values that are important to
37:34you just throw some ideas out don't be
37:36shy honesty H honesty yeah why is it by
37:39the way let's let's talk about why why
37:41is honesty
37:42important um for me it's important
37:45because I can trust in that person and I
37:47feel that also the other people can
37:48trust on me so it allows you to have
37:50synergistic relationships which makes
37:52everyone life everyone's life better
37:54good what
37:56else um family family okay so family is
37:59an important value to you
38:03why somebody cares about his family he
38:06will probably care about all the things
38:09too MH important things too MH it's the
38:13center of society if you don't have a
38:16close strong
38:19family it's like the base of all the
38:22social structure
38:23right you're not going to have a good
38:26Community if you don't have familyes
38:28also because it's the best way to
38:30transmit the value that we have for
38:33theity for what for the future try to
38:36transmit future all the
38:38values is very simple try to transmit to
38:42the grest
38:45people
38:49and
38:51influence I like that I like that what
38:53are some other values Integrity
38:56Integrity why
38:58what I do speak
39:00up I
39:02louder do it
39:05man what I think is what I do M so that
39:10is very important for uh one person who
39:13is going to be working with me
39:18so cool cool I like that what are some
39:21other values here passion what's that
39:25passion mhm need to do everything that
39:28you do with passion with um meaning to
39:32on yeah that's definitely a very Latin
39:34American value mhm yeah what do you guys
39:37call call uh Americans like uh Gringo
39:41Frio or something like that is that what
39:43it isos fros yeah yeah it's a very
39:46that's a very big Latin American value
39:48passion I feel the same way actually I'm
39:49very passionate um okay so these are
39:52examples of values well when you lack a
39:55clear concept of what your values are
39:57what happens is that other people's
39:59values come in maybe greed or uh not
40:03working hard or uh you know lack of
40:06Integrity or finding the easy way out
40:08and these are values that people don't
40:10like them not necessarily uh you know
40:14not even necessarily because they don't
40:15work in the short term but because in
40:16the long term they'll mess up your life
40:19in the long term it messes things up
40:21well again this comes back to having a
40:22strong sense of reality is knowing what
40:23your values are and this comes back into
40:25knowing who you are you know who who you
40:27are you know your self-concept and also
40:29the values that you have as a person all
40:31right another one is what what personal
40:33boundaries that you have having a clear
40:35sense of personal boundaries having a
40:38strong sense of personal boundaries
40:39actually instills respect it instills
40:41respect from other people somebody who
40:43lacks in personal boundaries will not be
40:45respected they're simply not respected
40:48if they lack those personal boundaries
40:49it comes across as low status and like
40:52anything will go doesn't mean you have
40:53to have aggressive personal boundaries
40:55just to have them but just having a
40:56strong sense of personal boundaries and
40:58another one and this is a very very
41:00important one for me is the vibe that
41:02you expect around you what's the word
41:03for vibe in Spanish by the
41:06way okay so it's like the mood what's
41:08the word for
41:11mood okay all
41:14right um okay so yeah it's the vibe that
41:18you I call that Vibe right it's the
41:20emotion that you want around you uh in
41:22my case I only want a I want positive
41:24emotion around me or focus on the work
41:26or something like that but positivity
41:28and I'm not going to accept anything
41:30other than that I in fact it's like
41:32anything other than that is like trying
41:33to jam a square peg into a round hole
41:36I'm not going to let that in the next
41:38one that we'll look at we'll look at
41:39number six and seven which is having a
41:41high sense of entitlement and walking
41:43through the world with ease okay so what
41:46is entitlement um well I think someone
41:48can feel overly entitled okay I think
41:50people can feel too entitled it can be
41:52obnoxious but generally speaking I
41:54believe that you should feel that you
41:55are entitled to the best you are
41:57entitled to everything life has to offer
42:00um here's what's kind of fascinating in
42:02life what you'll find is that whatever
42:05you believe you deserve in life is
42:08probably what you'll get and this
42:11happens for a number of different
42:12reasons but one of them is something
42:13called reticular activation system Ras
42:16okay R which is reticular activation
42:19system what reticular activation system
42:21is and this is very very important if
42:24you want to understand your clients and
42:26what's going on with them is basically
42:29the following okay I want you guys to uh
42:32I want you guys to look around this room
42:34at everything that is yellow okay look
42:37around the room at everything that's
42:38yellow right now you see it find the
42:40yellow find the yellow all right close
42:44your eyes do it close your eyes okay
42:46just go with me here even if it sounds
42:48stupid how much uh blue stuff do you see
42:51in the
42:53room can't remember right okay open your
42:55eyes back again okay well my shirt was
42:56blue maybe you didn't even think of that
42:58all right so that's called reticular
43:00activation system whatever you think has
43:02value is actually what you're going to
43:05focus on or what you view as having a
43:06threat so for example let's say uh let's
43:11say that a very attractive man or woman
43:13were to walk into the room right now
43:15okay say some say say some like muscular
43:17guy with his shirt off like walked into
43:19the room right now and he's
43:23like like that right okay you're
43:28yeah okay so let's say that that
43:30happened well uh you know where's your
43:33attention going to be right I'm like Hey
43:35listen to my ideas about corporate
43:37culture you want to hear it right you're
43:39like yeah
43:41yeah right cuz your reticular activation
43:43system we're we're lighting out right
43:45you're licking your lips right you're
43:47like right it's human human human nature
43:50right that's how we are okay so uh um
43:54that's reticular activation system we
43:55focus in on what on on what has value to
43:57us or what if some frightening man with
43:59a gun came in right now right but I'm
44:02still I'm like listen to me right listen
44:05to my talk about Ras and the man's got a
44:08gun would you be able to remember what
44:10I'm saying well even I'm still saying
44:13that stuff I'm still saying what I'm
44:15saying but your brain will screen it out
44:17it actually blocks it out literally
44:19blocks it out well what that's that's
44:22called RS reticular activation system we
44:24focus in on what has value to us maybe
44:26like a really you know say something
44:27like amazing food just like got wheeled
44:29in it smelled like really good right
44:30it's like you can't stop looking at it
44:32because it has value to us or say that
44:34something is a threat we'll look at that
44:37well another fascinating thing about Ras
44:39is actually that human beings we tend to
44:41seek out validation of our existing
44:44beliefs this is a fascinating
44:46fascinating thing about human beings we
44:48humans we're a very interesting creature
44:51in that we would rather learn something
44:53that reinforces what we already believe
44:55to be true than learn something that's
44:57brand new and that conflicts with our
44:58existing beliefs and a major reason why
45:01is because we want to stay confident if
45:03you find if you have a really strong
45:04belief about something and it turns out
45:06to be false what's going to happen now
45:08you've got to question all your other
45:10beliefs if this thing that I really
45:12believe is wrong what else am I wrong
45:14about and then it and then it messes
45:15with your confidence it gives you bad
45:17emotions so something that Ras does is
45:19it actually will focus in on what we
45:22believe to be true you actually have a
45:23belief about what you deserve in life
45:26you have a belief about what your status
45:27is and you'll keep looking for evidence
45:30to back it up and screening out any
45:32evidence that conflicts it so um let's
45:35say that you think that you're
45:36unattractive okay say that you thought
45:38you're not an attractive guy and then
45:39some girl came up to you and she's like
45:41that's a nice shirt hey you know what
45:45your brain's going to do your brain's
45:46going to be like she doesn't she's
45:48teasing me she's making fun of me you
45:52know what I'm saying right anyone here
45:54ever done that when you're younger maybe
45:55some girl actually gives you attention
45:57then you think she's making fun of you
45:59but on the other side if you think that
46:00you're really attractive and then uh and
46:03then some girl even just say like is
46:04like like that what's your brain
46:07probably thinking oh she likes me yeah
46:09she likes me right you guys know Pepe La
46:11Pew from Looney Tunes yeah you guys
46:14remember him right and every single
46:16thing that like this cat would do he'd
46:17think it's cuz the cat's like in love
46:18with him yeah that's cuz his R it thinks
46:21that every woman loves him you know and
46:23it's like romantic
46:25right so so his R would just keep
46:28believing that he's that that's what
46:29he's entitled to that you know that's
46:30his entitlement well generally speaking
46:32like what we believe that we're entitled
46:34to is what we're going to get in life
46:35that's generally speaking what's going
46:37to happen and our brain is actually
46:38going to make us like our brain if we
46:40think that we're not entitled to a lot
46:41of success creates what something called
46:43success barriers it actually our brain
46:45actually blocks out all these cool
46:47opportunities that we have to have
46:48success because our brain just thinks
46:50that we're not deserving of success so
46:51it'll block it out on the flip side if
46:53you think that you're entitled to a lot
46:55of success and a lot of Happiness you're
46:57will block out obstacles you won't even
46:58look at different obstacles and you'll
46:59just look at Opportunity you'll just see
47:01opportunity right in front of you it's
47:03kind of cool how that works right well
47:04that's what a strong sense of
47:05entitlement is it's like I'm entit you
47:07know I am entitled to a great review for
47:09my customers I'm entitled for people to
47:11like me I'm entitled for people to be
47:13positive around me and that's what your
47:15reticular activation system focuses in
47:17on that's what you see like yes okay
47:19that's it that is all that is your
47:21reality we call this a self-fulfilling
47:24prophecy could you guys say that word
47:26with me
47:27self-fulfilling prophecy okay this is
47:30such a shy high-tech company I can't
47:32believe it all right let's try it again
47:34self fulfilling
47:37prophecy all right so okay I get you to
47:40say these words because again it's a lot
47:41of information here today so I want you
47:43to be able to remember it so
47:44self-fulfilling prophecy basically what
47:46that means is that what we believe to be
47:48true often times becomes true just
47:50because we believe it even though it
47:52maybe wouldn't have even come true
47:54self-fulfilling prophecy so generally
47:55speaking it's like you want want to
47:57create a self-fulfilling prophecy with
47:58your customers of positivity you're
47:59entitled to success that's all that you
48:02see is Success on the flip side if you
48:04see a problem happening you have to
48:05recognize that and address it too all
48:07right so it's not completely like you're
48:09delusional all right walking through the
48:11world with ease I think that I think as
48:13far as your as your customers go this is
48:16maybe one of the most important ones is
48:18walking through the world with East so I
48:20told you guys that I grew up very very
48:21shy I didn't have a lot of friends
48:22growing up you know I had a hard time
48:25talking to girls I had a hard time
48:27fitting in socially I didn't go to
48:28parties or anything like that and one of
48:30the reasons why was because I had a lot
48:31of social anxiety it's just how I came
48:33up so I had to transform myself I had to
48:34do the best I could I'm not perfect with
48:36it but I made a lot of progress so one
48:38of the most important Concepts was the
48:40idea of walking through the world with
48:42ease what does that mean well what I
48:45believe is walking through the world
48:46believing that opportunities are
48:48abundant okay generally speaking people
48:51have one of two attitudes towards life
48:53they either believe that that
48:54opportunities and happiness and and good
48:56things in life are abundant there's a
48:58lot of them out there or they believe in
49:00scarcity what are those words in Spanish
49:02by the way abundance and
49:06scarcity okay and
49:08what es esas okay so abundance and
49:12scarcity okay so basically uh as far as
49:15abundance and scarcity goes if you
49:17believe that there's an abundance of
49:19great opportunities an abundance of
49:20friends that you can have an abundance
49:22of Happiness then you don't go into you
49:25don't go into fear you don't go into the
49:26strange fear um but when you believe
49:29there's a scarcity that's when you you
49:31know that's when you argue and and stuff
49:33like that but you know you you become
49:35negative and and and uh
49:37hostile um I think that in a lot of ways
49:40when customers are negative a lot of it
49:42comes from the idea of scarcity you know
49:45uh yeah they're they're in a scarcity
49:46based Paradigm you win you lose you lose
49:48you win lose yes yes a win- lose
49:51Paradigm instead of a win-win Paradigm
49:52you got that yeah Stephen cvy talks
49:54about that too that's very important
49:55yeah um
49:57yeah scarcity and so generally speaking
49:59it's like coming from a position of
50:01abundance all right and we talked about
50:03self-fulfilling prophecies and reticular
50:05activation system and basically it's
50:07like when you believe in abundance
50:09you'll see more opportunities cuz your
50:11reticular activation system sees it you
50:13know what's funny about poor
50:15people think of America here right
50:18there's a lot of poor people in this
50:21country I grew up like that I left home
50:24when I was very young but I believe that
50:26there was opportunity you know poor
50:28people what do they always think it's a
50:30it's the world sucks Paradigm there's
50:32not there's no opportunity I can't get
50:34ahead you know I've got to fight this
50:36other man for for some little bit of
50:38food or you know I need to sell drugs to
50:40make money because I can't get a job or
50:42you know whatever it is it's like they
50:43believe in you know they believe in
50:45scarcity well when you believe in
50:46abundance you see opportunities your RIS
50:49doesn't block it out it's like when I
50:50told you look at everything that's
50:52yellow you can't see you don't remember
50:54where the blue is well as far as
50:56opportunities go if all if you think if
50:58you believe in scarcity all that your R
51:00is seeing is scarcity there's no
51:03opportunities there's no opportunities
51:04instead of seeing opportunities and
51:06jumping on them right so a really big
51:08thing that I've had to do in my life is
51:09I've had to train myself like believe
51:11that there's opportunities believe that
51:12you'll find Opportunities you know
51:14believe that you know believe that
51:15you'll find it right uh it's like how
51:18did I even how did I even wind up
51:19speaking for Cisco here today this is
51:21pretty crazy it's kind of exciting for
51:23me I'm really actually really excited to
51:24be here uh you know went to we went to
51:27an event called The Summit Series it was
51:29a business event I think that must have
51:31cost like $6,000 per ticket for me and
51:33my business partner I don't want to
51:34spend $112,000 to go to a business event
51:37who wants to spend $122,000 but I
51:39believe in abundance right who knows
51:40what could happen we go there uh and
51:42then we met someone who was related with
51:44Cisco and then this opportunity came up
51:46you know and who knows what will come of
51:47it I don't really know what will come of
51:48it but then there'll be other
51:49opportunity that I'm not even worried
51:51about it because if nothing work out
51:52with Cisco I don't even care like really
51:54not and not because I don't want it to
51:55but because I know I'll have other
51:57opportunities so I believe in abundance
51:59I walk roads you know I I take risks I
52:02believe in Opportunities I believe
52:03there's lots of opportunities out there
52:05okay I I believe I'm entitled to success
52:07you know so you as a as a project
52:09manager you have to believe that you're
52:11entitled to success you have to believe
52:13like like everything's going to be
52:15awesome and look prob I'm sure that
52:16there's probably some people in the room
52:18right now who know who know about
52:19challenges as being a project manager
52:20that I don't know about and maybe you're
52:22thinking to yourself what does he know
52:23about what I do and the truth is i' I've
52:25tried to learn but there's only so much
52:26that I know about it so I know that
52:28there's also obstacles to that success
52:30okay and there's probably a lot and a
52:32lot that I don't understand that I'm
52:33trying harder to understand but
52:35fundamentally you have to believe that
52:36in the bigger picture there's a lot of
52:37opportunities you have to be entitled
52:39okay this is an inner we call this inner
52:41game okay the inner game of success
52:43believing that there's a lot of
52:45opportunities that are available
53:08well I'm out of here

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