YT YouTube2Text

YouTube2Text → Transcripts → On My 64th Birthday I Waited All Day For A Call From My Son. The Only Message I Got Was A Lodge...

On My 64th Birthday I Waited All Day For A Call From My Son. The Only Message I Got Was A Lodge... — Transcript

by Blood & Vows · 3,677 words · 516 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

Open in transcriber Summarize with AI Download SRT/VTT

Full transcript

0:00On the morning of my 64th birthday, I
0:03poached two eggs, made a pot of real
0:06coffee, and set my phone face up beside
0:08the mug. Like a woman who swears she
0:11isn't waiting for anything. I was
0:13waiting. I'd been waiting for 8 weeks,
0:16if I'm honest, and maybe a lot longer
0:19than that. My son Ryan had called me
0:22exactly once since the 4th of July, and
0:25that was to ask whether his father's old
0:28leaf blower was still in my garage. It
0:31was, I told him to come get it whenever
0:33he wanted. It's still out there
0:36collecting dust next to the paint cans.
0:39Before we get into it, tell me where
0:42you're tuning in from. It means a lot to
0:44know who's keeping me company. Ryan is
0:4841. He lives 40 minutes away in Dublin,
0:51Ohio, in one of those newer developments
0:53where every house has a threecar garage
0:56and a name for its paint color. His wife
0:59Heather insisted on the in ground pool.
1:02They have two kids, Lily, who's seven,
1:05and Noah, who just turned four. I see my
1:08grandchildren at Christmas, and if the
1:10stars line up, Easter. In March, I
1:13mailed Lily a birthday card with a $100
1:16bill in it. Two days later, I got a text
1:19from Heather that said, "Lily says
1:21thanks."
1:22Not Heather. Lily. Heather never said
1:26thank you herself. I'd stopped expecting
1:28it years ago. The way you stop expecting
1:30a leaky faucet to fix itself. So, there
1:34I was on my birthday checking my phone
1:37the way you check a door you've already
1:39locked. By 10:00, I'd had three cups of
1:42coffee and run a full load of towels. By
1:46noon, I'd reorganized the pantry and
1:48started a grocery list I didn't need. By
1:522, the quiet from Ryan had turned into
1:54something heavier, not empty, pointed,
1:58"My husband Gary used to tell me I felt
2:01too much." He didn't mean it unkindly.
2:04He meant it the way a man who felt very
2:07little might say it. Half complaint,
2:09half admiration. Gary has been gone 4
2:12years now. pancreatic cancer 11 weeks
2:15from the doctor's phone call to the
2:17funeral home. In those four years, I've
2:20come to believe that feeling too much
2:22isn't a flaw. It's just being awake. At
2:263:30, my phone lit up and my heart did
2:29that humiliating little leap it had been
2:32doing all day. It was Ryan. Hey, Mom.
2:37Can you help me out with something?
2:39We're at the lodge in Hawking Hills for
2:41Labor Day weekend. and Heather's card
2:44got flagged. They need a $1,400
2:48deposit hold covered. I'll sell it back
2:51Tuesday. Just send it to this email.
2:54Underneath was a forwarded billing
2:56notice from a place called Cedar Hollow
2:59Lodge. I'd never heard of it, but I
3:02could picture it perfectly. Hot tubs on
3:04private decks. A wine list that starts
3:07at $14 a glass. A woman in a fleece vest
3:11asking if you'd like to book the
3:13couple's massage. No happy birthday,
3:16Mom. No, how are you? Not even a hello.
3:20A forwarded invoice and a request. And
3:22that sentence I've heard so many times I
3:25could recite it in my sleep. I'll pay
3:27you back Tuesday. I know what that
3:30sentence means. It means I won't. It
3:33means I never have. It means you'll
3:36swallow it like you always do because
3:38you're scared of what happens if you
3:40don't. I put the phone down and looked
3:43at the wall for a long while. There's a
3:46framed water color in the kitchen, a
3:48barn in Vermont in pale ochre and dusty
3:51blue that Gary and I bought on our 30th
3:54anniversary.
3:56I thought about that trip. I thought
3:58about the woman who took it, busy and
4:00married and not yet used up. Then I
4:04picked the phone back up and opened my
4:06bank's app. Ryan had been an authorized
4:09user on my checking account since 2020
4:13when he lost his job in project
4:15management. That was the arrangement.
4:18Emergencies only just until he got back
4:20on his feet. He found work in 5 months.
4:24The card stayed by then. Heather knew
4:27about it. and anything Heather knew
4:29about had a way of turning into a
4:32permanent arrangement. I took his name
4:35off the account. It took less than 2
4:38minutes. Then I opened my scheduled
4:41payments. For 4 years, I'd been sending
4:44Ryan $750 on the first of every month.
4:48It started as grocery help when Heather
4:51went on maternity leave with Noah. Noah
4:54was now four. Heather had been back at
4:57her marketing firm full-time for ages.
5:00The transfer just never stopped. I never
5:02asked it to. I never asked for anything.
5:06I canled it. I'm a retired high school
5:10English teacher. I spent 31 years
5:13reading what people wrote and catching
5:15what they didn't say. So, I went through
5:18my accounts the way I used to grade
5:20papers slowly with a red pen in my head.
5:24I found a family phone plan I'd been
5:26paying for in full, Ryan's line and
5:30Heather's line, and both of their iPads.
5:33I found a monthly payment to the kids'
5:36college savings account that I had set
5:38up myself after Heather mentioned at
5:40Thanksgiving, passing the cranberry
5:43sauce that they probably couldn't keep
5:46contributing. I changed that account so
5:48any withdrawal needed my signature. I
5:51took their phones off my plan. Then I
5:54put the kettle on, cut myself a slice of
5:57the lemon cake I baked that morning, and
6:00ate it at the table. All of it with a
6:02fork sitting down. The call started at
6:065:47 that evening. Ryan, three times in
6:10a row, then Heather, then Ryan again. I
6:14watched my phone buzz across the counter
6:16the way you'd watch rain on a window
6:18with full attention and no urge to go
6:21outside. By the time I finished the
6:23dishes, there were 37 missed calls. I
6:27poured a glass of pino grigio, took it
6:30to the armchair by the window, and
6:32finally listened to the voicemails.
6:35Ryan's first one was breathless and
6:38honestly confused. Mom, something's
6:41wrong with the account. The card stopped
6:44working. Heather's mortified. They held
6:47her at the front desk. Fr's minutes. Can
6:49you call the bank? We have a dinner
6:52reservation in an hour. His second was
6:55less confused and a good deal less
6:57polite. Mom, I know you're there. Pick
6:59up. This isn't funny. Heathers was the
7:03one I'd been bracing for. She has a
7:05voice she uses on me. Not loud, which
7:08would almost be better. Brisk and
7:11compressed. The voice of someone dealing
7:14with a difficult customer. Susan. She
7:17always says it like that. Flat like a
7:20name on a name tag. Never. Mom. Never
7:23Mrs. Mason. Never even a warm Sue.
7:26Susan, I need you to call Ryan right
7:28now. The lodge is saying they might
7:30release our cabin. It's Labor Day
7:32weekend. There is nothing available
7:35anywhere in these hills. I can't believe
7:38this is happening. She didn't say it was
7:41my birthday. She didn't say anything
7:44that admitted there was a calendar. She
7:47spoke as though she were the injured
7:49party in something that had been done to
7:52her. I sat with the wine and thought
7:54about what to say. I wanted words that
7:57would be clear without opening a 3-hour
8:00argument about whether my feelings were
8:02reasonable.
8:04I typed one text. The card removal was
8:07intentional. The monthly transfer is
8:10cancelled permanently.
8:12Happy to talk when you're home. Have a
8:15nice weekend. I silenced the phone,
8:18finished the wine, and went upstairs to
8:20run a bath. There was a paperback on my
8:24nightstand I'd been meaning to start for
8:26weeks. I read until 11 and slept better
8:29than I had in a year. They were back
8:32from Hawking Hills by Monday evening.
8:35Ryan didn't call first. He drove
8:38straight to my house with Heather in the
8:40passenger seat and both kids in the
8:42back. And I knew that was deliberate.
8:46Bringing the grandchildren was a tactic,
8:49a softener, something I couldn't turn
8:51away at the door. I was out back pulling
8:54up the last of the tomato steaks. When I
8:57heard the car in the driveway, I knew
9:00the sound of that engine. I stayed in
9:03the garden and listened to them come
9:05around the side gate. Ryan looked tired
9:08in a way that had nothing to do with a
9:10long weekend. Heather stood half a step
9:13behind him with her arms folded and her
9:16sunglasses pushed up in her hair. Lily
9:19ran ahead and threw herself at my legs.
9:23I crouched and held her properly,
9:25breathing in the smell of her shampoo.
9:28"Mom," Ryan said. I let go of Lily and
9:31stood up and looked at my son.
9:34Really looked, which I hadn't done in a
9:37while. He has Gary's jaw and Gary's
9:40trick of going quiet whenever a
9:42conversation turns real. He looked like
9:44a man who'd spent two days rehearsing a
9:47version of events in which he was the
9:49one wronged. "Can we talk inside?" he
9:52said. "We can talk here." I picked up my
9:56tel. I wasn't performing. I just wanted
9:59something in my hands. What happened
10:02with the account? I closed your access
10:05to it and I cancelled the monthly
10:08transfer. You cancelled it? He said it
10:11flatly with no warning. Without any
10:14notice, Heather said. She stepped
10:17forward and pulled the sunglasses off
10:19her head. We count on that money, Susan.
10:23It covers daycare and groceries. You
10:25can't just stop it. I can, I said. I
10:29did. Lily had wandered over to the
10:31tomato bed to study a worm. Noah sat in
10:35the grass, picking apart a dandelion. I
10:37watched them for a moment. Mom. Ryan
10:41took a step closer, and something in his
10:43voice slipped younger. A boy's voice.
10:47Look, we're sorry we missed your
10:48birthday. It wasn't the missing. Then
10:53what? I want you to understand
10:55something. And I'm not saying it out of
10:59anger. I think you honestly don't see
11:02it. On my birthday, the only message I
11:05got from you all day was a forwarded
11:08invoice asking me to cover a lodge bill
11:11so your weekend wouldn't be interrupted.
11:13That's what the day looked like from
11:15where I was sitting. Ryan looked at the
11:18ground. Heather made a small sound in
11:21her throat. We were busy, she said.
11:24Holidays are chaos. It's not like we
11:27plan to forget. I know you didn't plan
11:30it, I said. That's exactly the part that
11:33matters. Nobody spoke. Somewhere by the
11:36fence, Lily was singing to the worm and
11:39a cardinal was starting up in the maple.
11:42"Mom, we budget around that money," Ryan
11:45said. "We have a mortgage." "You have
11:48two incomes," I said gently. I have a
11:51teacher's pension and Gary's social
11:53security. It's fixed. He looked at me as
11:56if I'd said something in a language he
11:59knew but had never expected to hear
12:02aimed at him. Over the next 3 days, I
12:05did something I'd been avoiding for
12:07years. I got out my bank statements and
12:10went through them. I wasn't working
12:12myself into a fury. I was clear in a way
12:16I hadn't been in a long time. I wanted
12:19to see the actual shape of it. I sat at
12:22the dining room table with 4 and 1/2
12:25years of statements fanned out, a legal
12:27pad, and a ballpoint pen. The monthly
12:31$750 alone came to $36,000,
12:36and that was before the special
12:37requests. March 2022,
12:41$2,000 to cover a lapse in their car
12:44insurance. Ryan said the payment had
12:47fallen off his calendar and the penalty
12:49would be brutal. I found the insurance
12:52company's email in my own inbox since
12:55he'd forwarded it to me. The late fee
12:58was $25. The rest of the money went
13:01somewhere else. July 2022,
13:05$1,500
13:07for an emergency plumber. I never saw an
13:10invoice. February 2023,
13:14$800 for a medical bill for Noah. Noah
13:17had been perfectly healthy at Christmas,
13:20and every day I'd seen him since.
13:23October 2023, $3,000 for a roof repair
13:27deposit. Ryan sent me a photo of some
13:30damaged shingles. The following summer,
13:33Heather's mother, Kathy, showed me
13:35pictures on her tablet at a cookout
13:37beaming of their new powder room with
13:40penny tile and a vessel sink. Kathy was
13:43so proud. I said the tile was beautiful.
13:47I didn't say anything else. By the time
13:50I added everything, the monthly payments
13:53and the oneoff emergencies and the phone
13:56plan and the streaming and the rest, it
13:59came to $52,400.
14:02It took me an hour to write it down.
14:05When I set the pen down and looked at my
14:07own handwriting, I felt something
14:10strange. Not rage, not even grief. It
14:15was the feeling of putting on your
14:16glasses and realizing how blurry the
14:18world had been. The numbers made it
14:20legible. I had not been helping a son
14:23through a rough patch. I had been
14:25quietly, steadily paying for a lifestyle
14:28that wasn't mine. Ryan texted on
14:31Wednesday. Texted, not called, which
14:34told me he'd thought about it. Can we
14:36get coffee? Just us. I want to
14:39understand what you need. I want to
14:41understand what you need. That sentence
14:44had been coached. A therapist, a
14:47podcast, Heather herself, take your
14:49pick. It's the kind of language that
14:52sounds like listening, but is built for
14:54negotiating.
14:56Thursday at 11, I wrote back. The place
14:59by the farmers market. I got there first
15:02and ordered tea. Ryan came in a few
15:05minutes late, sat down, and wrapped both
15:08hands around his coffee the way he's
15:10done since he was 16 and nervous. He
15:13apologized first. The apology was real
15:16in the sense that he felt bad, which
15:19isn't the same as understanding why. He
15:21said they'd been overwhelmed. He said
15:24the weekend trip was Heather's idea and
15:27he'd gone along. He said he knew he'd
15:29leaned on me too much. I let him finish.
15:32Then I slid two printed pages across the
15:35table, a summary in columns with dates.
15:39He read it for a long time without a
15:41word. I'm not handing you a bill, I
15:45said. I want us both to see what we're
15:47actually talking about. He turned to the
15:50second page and found the total at the
15:52bottom. Mom, he said quietly. You two
15:57earn good salaries, Ryan. You're not in
15:59crisis. you've been living bigger than
16:02your income and using me to cover the
16:05difference. He didn't argue. That
16:08surprised me. After a moment, he said,
16:10"Heather's hard to say no to." "That's
16:13yours to work out," I said. "Not mine to
16:16pay for. I'm 64." Gary's social security
16:20doesn't stretch as far as it looks from
16:22the outside. He nodded slowly, and for
16:25the first time in years, he looked
16:27genuinely young. Not entitled young. the
16:30young of someone who's just noticed the
16:33weight he's been handing off to another
16:36person. I'm sorry, Mom. It was different
16:40from the first apology. Quieter, less
16:42rehearsed. I know. Come to dinner, he
16:46said soon. The kids ask about you. I'm
16:50free most Sundays, but I'm not coming to
16:53be soothed into feeling fine about this.
16:56I'm coming to see my grandchildren.
16:58Those are two different visits. Yeah, he
17:02said. I get that. Heather's reckoning
17:05came a different way and it came slowly.
17:09First, there were texts. Over the next
17:12several days, they arrived like weather.
17:14Some said I was being cruel. Some said I
17:18was punishing the children. One said
17:20that a loving grandmother wouldn't
17:22destabilize a family over
17:24misunderstanding.
17:26I read everyone and answered none. On
17:29the third day, she sent a photo of Lily
17:31and Noah at a pumpkin patch. Noah was
17:34hugging a pumpkin nearly as big as his
17:37torso. Lily had orange paint on her
17:40cheek. They were both laughing at
17:42something outside the frame. Underneath,
17:45they keep asking why grandma hasn't
17:47called. I looked at that picture for a
17:50long time. I knew what it was. I also
17:54knew those two kids weren't weapons,
17:57even if someone was swinging them like
17:59one. I wasn't going to let a photograph
18:02convince me that my choices had harmed
18:04my grandchildren. My choices had stopped
18:07me from subsidizing weekend cabins while
18:09I ate birthday cake alone. I wrote back,
18:13"They can call me anytime. My number
18:16hasn't changed. Neither has Sunday
18:18dinner." She didn't answer. What I
18:22didn't know yet was that Kathy had
18:24gotten involved.
18:26Kathy called me the following Tuesday,
18:28which she had never once done in 11
18:30years. I almost didn't pick up. She
18:33said, "Susan, I'm not calling to take
18:36sides. I'm calling because Heather asked
18:40me for money on Saturday, and when I
18:42asked why, she cried and told me half of
18:45it, and I'd like to hear the rest from
18:48someone who isn't trying to win." So, I
18:51told her I didn't dress it up. I read
18:54her the numbers off my legal pad, the
18:56dates, the amounts, the plumber's
18:58invoice. I never saw the medical expense
19:01for a healthy child. She was silent for
19:04a long time. The powder room, she
19:07finally said the roof. Yes. I told
19:11people at my church about that tile. Her
19:14voice cracked. I'm so sorry, Susan. I'm
19:17so sorry. I raised her better than that.
19:20And I can see now I didn't. Kathy told
19:23me she'd said no to Heather. No loan, no
19:26gift, not a dime. She said she had told
19:30Heather that a woman who calls her
19:32husband's mother by her first name like
19:34a store clerk and then takes $50,000
19:38from her is a woman who needs to find
19:40out what things cost. The cost arrived
19:43over the next 3 weeks quietly and in
19:46pieces. Ryan told me later over a Sunday
19:51dinner with Heather out of the room. The
19:54lodge bill went on a credit card at 26%
19:57interest and then they sat down together
20:00and looked at every number in their life
20:02for the first time in years. The leased
20:05SUV went back to the dealer. Heather now
20:08drives a 9-year-old Honda, a fact she
20:12did not enjoy. They cancelled the pool
20:15service and the lawn service and the
20:17meal kits. Heather picked up freelance
20:20work on nights and weekends, and she is
20:22not the type of woman who enjoys
20:24freelance work on nights and weekends.
20:27Ryan set up a repayment plan on his own,
20:30a spreadsheet, and everything. $500 a
20:33month back to me starting October 1st. I
20:37told him I didn't want it for myself.
20:40So, every month I deposited into the
20:42college account for Lily and Noah. Their
20:46names are on it. Mine isn't the only
20:48name that matters there anymore. The
20:51Sunday after all that, they came at
20:534:00. Ryan carried in a loaf of bread
20:57from the bakery on High Street and a
20:59bottle of wine he'd picked out himself.
21:03Nothing flashy, the kind of bottle you
21:05bring when you're trying to make a quiet
21:07gesture. Heather came in behind him
21:10without sunglasses. She stood in my
21:13kitchen doorway for a moment and I could
21:15see her gathering herself like someone
21:18about to go on stage. Susan, she said,
21:22then she stopped. I'm sorry. I mean,
21:25Mrs. Mason, I mean, she shook her head.
21:28I don't know what you want me to call
21:30you. Susan is my name. I said, "Say it
21:33like you mean it, and that's plenty."
21:36Susan, she breathed out. I owe you an
21:40apology, a real one. I took money from
21:43you for years, and I told myself it was
21:45because you were lonely and had nothing
21:47else to spend it on. That was a
21:49disgusting thing to tell myself. I'm
21:51sorry. I let that sit. I didn't tell her
21:55it was fine because it wasn't. Thank
21:58you, I said. I'll hold on to that. Then
22:02Lily came barreling in asking about the
22:04herbs, and the moment broke the way.
22:07Moments due when there are children in
22:09the house. Lily and I went out and
22:12picked basil and thyme. Noah sat on the
22:15kitchen floor, stacking my measuring
22:17cups into towers that kept falling over.
22:20Ryan set the table without being asked,
22:23a thing he hadn't done since he lived
22:25under my roof. We ate in the dining
22:27room. Roast chicken, root vegetables, a
22:31green salad. Nothing elaborate. It
22:34didn't need to be. The conversation was
22:36careful in places and easy in others.
22:39When it was time to clear, Heather
22:41picked up plates and carried them to the
22:43sink and rinsed them. And I stood in the
22:46doorway, watching my son dry the dishes
22:49beside her. And something in me that had
22:52been clenched for years let go. I didn't
22:55say I forgive you. Not that night.
22:58Forgiveness isn't a thing you hand out
23:00at the door like a coat. But when they
23:03were pulling on jackets, I said, "Same
23:06time in 2 weeks." Ryan looked at me.
23:09"Yeah, Mom. Same time." That night, I
23:12sat in my armchair with the paperback
23:14I'd finally started and the last of the
23:18pino. And I thought about what Heather
23:20said in that first voicemail. I can't
23:23believe this is happening. And I thought
23:26about how strange it is that people are
23:28always so shocked by the predictable
23:31results of what they've done. I turned
23:3564 on the day they forgot me. I'd spent
23:3963 years believing that love with no
23:41limits was the same as generosity. It
23:44isn't. It's just a slow way of
23:46disappearing. And I was finished
23:49disappearing. The garden is still mine.
23:52The table is still mine. Sunday dinner
23:54is open to anyone who comes as family
23:57and not as a creditor. As for the $1,400
24:01from Cedar Hollow Lodge, I never sent a
24:04scent. Somehow, they found a way to
24:07cover it themselves. Turns out they
24:10always could. Closing the wallet can
24:13feel harder than closing a door. Would
24:16you ever cut off a grown son or daughter
24:18financially, even if it meant hard
24:21feelings?

About this transcript

This page contains the full transcript of On My 64th Birthday I Waited All Day For A Call From My Son. The Only Message I Got Was A Lodge... by Blood & Vows, generated from the public captions YouTube serves with the video. The transcript has 3,677 words across 516 segments, with the original timestamps preserved so you can click any line to jump to that moment in the embedded player.

What you can do with it

Use the transcript to take notes, quote the speaker, build a study guide, generate a summary with ChatGPT or Claude via the YouTube Summary tool, or export it as a timed subtitle file with YouTube to SRT. You can also re-open it in the transcriber to choose a caption track available on the video.

Free YouTube transcript tool

YouTube2Text is a free YouTube transcript generator — no signup, no daily limit. Paste any YouTube link and get the full transcript instantly, with timestamps, click-to-jump, caption language selection, AI prompts for ChatGPT, Claude, and Gemini, and exports to TXT, SRT, VTT, or Markdown.