YouTube2Text

Neil deGrasse Tyson - How to Greet an Alien with “Take Me to Your Leader” | The Daily Show — Transcript

by The Daily Show · 3,530 words · 570 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

Full transcript

  1. 0:00My guest tonight is an astrophysicist
  2. 0:01[cheering]
  3. 0:02and best-selling author whose new book
  4. 0:04is called Take Me to Your Leader:
  5. 0:06Perspectives on Your First Alien
  6. 0:08Encounter. Please welcome Neil Degrass
  7. 0:10Tyson.
  8. 0:13[music]
  9. 0:20[music]
  10. 0:20[applause]
  11. 0:28>> [music]
  12. 0:29>> I love it.
  13. 0:29>> All right.
  14. 0:30>> They love you. Their own personal
  15. 0:32astrophysicist here in person.
  16. 0:34>> That is true. That's how I think of
  17. 0:36myself.
  18. 0:36>> Yes. It's man, it's first of all, it's a
  19. 0:38big week in the world of what is beyond
  20. 0:41this universe.
  21. 0:42>> Every week is that.
  22. 0:43>> Yeah.
  23. 0:44>> To me,
  24. 0:44>> you're always looking at the stars.
  25. 0:45[laughter]
  26. 0:46Sometimes for fashion advice and
  27. 0:47sometimes just for career opportunities.
  28. 0:50[laughter]
  29. 0:50>> I want to talk to you about these these
  30. 0:52UFO files. These UFO files
  31. 0:54>> from the Pentagon.
  32. 0:54>> From the Pentagon. They came out. Yes.
  33. 0:56>> Neil Degrass Tyson, did you look at
  34. 0:58them? Did you see anything of interest
  35. 0:59there?
  36. 0:59>> It's all of interest.
  37. 1:00>> Yeah.
  38. 1:01>> Yeah.
  39. 1:01>> But but
  40. 1:04>> Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yes. I guess Pentagon
  41. 1:06files are all of interest.
  42. 1:07>> Yeah. It's a whatever comes out of the
  43. 1:08Pentagon is always interesting.
  44. 1:09>> Yes. And aliens.
  45. 1:11>> There's a difference, just to be clear,
  46. 1:13between what was once secret
  47. 1:16>> and what you might otherwise call a
  48. 1:17cover up. Obviously, the military keeps
  49. 1:20secrets. That's not something new or
  50. 1:22weird. So many of these files were
  51. 1:24previously secret and now they're
  52. 1:25released and they pretty much match in
  53. 1:28spirit the testimonies we've seen in
  54. 1:31front of Congress from 2023 to 2024.
  55. 1:35Three years of testimony,
  56. 1:38sworn testimony from insiders,
  57. 1:40whistleblowers, from intelligence
  58. 1:42agencies, from from the military
  59. 1:45basically telling us everything we see
  60. 1:47in these files.
  61. 1:48>> Yeah.
  62. 1:48>> So I was not surprised by it. and and
  63. 1:51and and if it's consistent with what
  64. 1:54human beings are telling you under oath,
  65. 1:56then there it is.
  66. 1:57>> But people tell us under oath, they see
  67. 2:00things they don't understand. But then
  68. 2:02cheap documentaries will tell us, "Ooh,
  69. 2:04there's aliens out there."
  70. 2:05>> Yes. So that's a leap at that point.
  71. 2:06>> That is [laughter] a leap.
  72. 2:08>> Yeah. Because if if it's a UFO or UAP,
  73. 2:10as it has been rebranded,
  74. 2:12>> which one do you go with, UFO or UAP?
  75. 2:13>> I'm I'm old school. UFO.
  76. 2:15>> It's more fun.
  77. 2:16>> Yeah. YEAH.
  78. 2:18[cheering and applause]
  79. 2:21unidentified anomalous phenomenon. Come
  80. 2:23on now. Hard to say.
  81. 2:24>> Yeah. Yeah. And it's hard to say, right?
  82. 2:26So, UFO, my issue has always been if you
  83. 2:30don't know what it is to you, it's a
  84. 2:32UFO.
  85. 2:33>> But if I know what it is, then it's an
  86. 2:34IFO. Let's just get real here. Okay.
  87. 2:36[laughter] So, and I know a lot about
  88. 2:38the night sky and weather situ clouds
  89. 2:41and all of this. And I've never seen
  90. 2:43anything I couldn't explain. But I don't
  91. 2:45want to deny that of other people. And
  92. 2:47in the old days, it was the farmer in
  93. 2:49the back 40 and something floating in
  94. 2:51the back in the back and they report it
  95. 2:53or drunken revelers coming out of the
  96. 2:55bar. So, it was easy to discount that,
  97. 2:57right?
  98. 2:58>> But with people of such high rank and
  99. 3:00privilege and access, you can't just
  100. 3:02sweep it away.
  101. 3:03>> So, I'm not sweeping it away. And then
  102. 3:05this book, it's a celebration
  103. 3:08>> of how much time, energy, and creativity
  104. 3:12we've invested in thinking about aliens.
  105. 3:14Mhm. There's a real human desire for
  106. 3:16that
  107. 3:16>> apparently.
  108. 3:17>> You you mentioned in this book you
  109. 3:19mentioned in this book though it's it's
  110. 3:21a it's a it's an English speakaking
  111. 3:22phenomenon.
  112. 3:23>> Oh yeah. So if you look at a map of the
  113. 3:25world of all reported UFO sightings
  114. 3:28>> they concentrate in United States,
  115. 3:32Canada, UK, Australia and New Zealand.
  116. 3:36[laughter]
  117. 3:37>> Is there anyone else who speaks English
  118. 3:39in the world? That's kind of it. So, so
  119. 3:42could it be just our our potent pop
  120. 3:45culture where, you know, every other
  121. 3:47movie there's an alien portrayed uh evil
  122. 3:50or otherwise? I I don't know because our
  123. 3:53our movies go worldwide.
  124. 3:55>> So, there's something else going on. And
  125. 3:57I concluded the aliens only want to land
  126. 4:00in English-sp speakaking countries.
  127. 4:02>> I don't know.
  128. 4:05>> If you're going to watch one story, we
  129. 4:06have a pretty compelling one going on
  130. 4:08[laughter] right now.
  131. 4:09>> It is. There's the answer. Maybe the
  132. 4:10aliens can't read subtitles. Is that
  133. 4:12what it is?
  134. 4:14[laughter]
  135. 4:15>> So, um, so my point is I right now you
  136. 4:20go up to another person, you say, do you
  137. 4:22believe in aliens? And, uh, but no one
  138. 4:26asks you, do you believe in whales?
  139. 4:31>> Well, I I still haven't seen proof of
  140. 4:32it.
  141. 4:34>> Well, do you believe in elephants? You
  142. 4:37don't have to ask that because you've
  143. 4:39seen an elephant. You've seen a whale if
  144. 4:42not beached or otherwise. Come to our
  145. 4:43museum. We got one hanging from the
  146. 4:45ceiling. Okay. Museum of Natural
  147. 4:47History, New York City.
  148. 4:48>> Okay.
  149. 4:50>> Okay.
  150. 4:51>> Boy, people promote a lot of on
  151. 4:53this show, though. Oh, yeah. Yeah. For
  152. 4:56that museum propaganda, [laughter] you
  153. 4:57guys.
  154. 4:58So, so
  155. 5:02all I ask of the Pentagon files is bring
  156. 5:06out the alien.
  157. 5:08Is that too much to ask?
  158. 5:10>> Let us see for ourselves.
  159. 5:12>> Bring it out. Then you don't need a
  160. 5:142-hour documentary
  161. 5:17extolling the title and pedigree of who
  162. 5:21is claiming a truth.
  163. 5:23>> You bring out the alien and then, hey,
  164. 5:25did you see that alien? That's cool.
  165. 5:27[laughter] Okay. And then it's no longer
  166. 5:28do you believe in it. It's just there.
  167. 5:30>> Is it there?
  168. 5:31>> And and so in here what I do is in case
  169. 5:33there really is an alien that they want
  170. 5:35to bring out. It's a primer on how to
  171. 5:37interact
  172. 5:38>> for your first time with an alien. Can I
  173. 5:40share a couple of things? Got time? I
  174. 5:41don't know. You got time? I don't
  175. 5:42>> I got time. What do you got? [laughter]
  176. 5:43Yes. Yes,
  177. 5:43>> I got time.
  178. 5:44>> No, I'm I've interviewed another alien
  179. 5:46specialist after this.
  180. 5:48[laughter]
  181. 5:49>> What do we need to know?
  182. 5:50>> Yeah, you need to know. So, for example,
  183. 5:51if it comes up to you and there's some
  184. 5:53appendage there. Yeah.
  185. 5:54>> Don't grab it and shake it.
  186. 5:55>> No. because you don't know what part of
  187. 5:58the alien anatomy that is. [cheering]
  188. 6:01>> I don't think you want to know. Okay.
  189. 6:04>> Or what a great way to make friends.
  190. 6:08>> Let me tell you, if somebody grabbed me
  191. 6:09there now as [laughter] a a man who's
  192. 6:11been married for 12 years, I would take
  193. 6:14it. I would take it. Come on, alien.
  194. 6:15Just grab it. Give me some connection,
  195. 6:17please.
  196. 6:18>> Plus, what do you look like to them?
  197. 6:20Let's say you befriended them and then
  198. 6:22after, you know, some hours go by, you
  199. 6:24say, "Excuse me." You know, Mr. Alien,
  200. 6:26Mrs. Alien, uh, I have to lay down
  201. 6:29horizontally and go semicomaosse for
  202. 6:32onethird of Earth's rotation.
  203. 6:35They'll look at you like, "What's wrong
  204. 6:36with you? WHAT IS THIS? [laughter]
  205. 6:37YOU'RE YOU'RE NOT EVEN RESPONSIVE.
  206. 6:39You're you're mostly dead." Okay? And
  207. 6:42so, you don't know if they sleep cuz if
  208. 6:44they don't sleep, you sleeping is going
  209. 6:46to look really weird. So, just be ready
  210. 6:48for that. Okay? Little things
  211. 6:51>> like even eating probably looks strange.
  212. 6:53No, if they were if they were
  213. 6:54plant-based, then eating would look
  214. 6:56really weird
  215. 6:56>> because they just have to lay out in the
  216. 6:58sun to get their nourishment. And
  217. 7:00>> so they like, "What are you putting in
  218. 7:01these weird holes?"
  219. 7:02>> No, no, not only that, it's Why are you
  220. 7:04killing living things to put in your
  221. 7:06mouth?
  222. 7:06>> Oh, they're judgy.
  223. 7:09[cheering]
  224. 7:09>> Oh my god. You're Oh, they have like the
  225. 7:11temperament of a vegan. Is that what
  226. 7:13you're telling me?
  227. 7:14>> Wait, wait. No, it's worse.
  228. 7:16>> Because even vegans, everything they put
  229. 7:19in their mouth was once alive.
  230. 7:21>> Yes. In fact, the two things that are
  231. 7:22expressly excluded from the vegan diet
  232. 7:25did not require the death of another
  233. 7:27animal. It was milk and honey. That's
  234. 7:29even biblical. But you're not supposed
  235. 7:30to eat that. And I'm thinking nothing
  236. 7:32had to die for you to eat the milk and
  237. 7:34honey. That's the best diet at all. So
  238. 7:37if a plant-based animal comes, alien
  239. 7:39comes, you're safest. You say, "I just
  240. 7:42eat milk and honey." And and you're not
  241. 7:44dangerous to their plant brethren in the
  242. 7:47world.
  243. 7:47>> Don't touch their Say milk and
  244. 7:48honey.
  245. 7:49>> DOES NOT LIKE WHAT YOU SAY. THAT'S WHAT
  246. 7:51That's what you said. THE SCIENTIST SAID
  247. 7:52IT. I'm [laughter] getting it.
  248. 7:55>> Okay.
  249. 7:55>> I'm getting it. Anything else we need to
  250. 7:57know? That's it. That's got to cover.
  251. 7:59>> So, you want to Okay.
  252. 8:03>> Come on. I got another astrophysicist.
  253. 8:06>> Leave the flatearthers at home.
  254. 8:08>> Really?
  255. 8:08>> You don't want them to meet the alien.
  256. 8:10>> You want to leave the best impression
  257. 8:12possible on them.
  258. 8:14>> And if they know you have flat earth
  259. 8:15friends, they're going to leave.
  260. 8:17[laughter]
  261. 8:19they're going to say no sign of
  262. 8:20intelligent life here and they go back
  263. 8:22to their home planet. So I so in the
  264. 8:25book I have a whole chapter on how to
  265. 8:26how to befriend them with science and
  266. 8:29math because that's universal. The laws
  267. 8:32of physics on earth are established
  268. 8:34across time and through space itself.
  269. 8:37And math is the language of the
  270. 8:38universe. And if the alien is going to
  271. 8:40come to Earth and you're going to talk
  272. 8:41to it, it better be in that language.
  273. 8:43>> Oh, Neil, I hard disagree on this one.
  274. 8:47That kid in middle school comes up and
  275. 8:49is like, "I want to be friends. Let's
  276. 8:50talk math." I did not make friends with
  277. 8:53I think you taught classic rock with
  278. 8:55these guys. All right.
  279. 8:57>> Well, you don't know if they have the
  280. 8:58same sensory exposure to the world that
  281. 9:01we do.
  282. 9:01>> Okay. So, they might not understand
  283. 9:03music. They might
  284. 9:03>> they might not hear it at all.
  285. 9:05>> There's a saying from Nichi. Those who
  286. 9:08could not hear
  287. 9:12how this quote go. Those who were
  288. 9:14dancing were judged to be insane by
  289. 9:17those who could not hear the music.
  290. 9:20>> Oh,
  291. 9:22>> so he didn't say it. Nze said,
  292. 9:27>> wait, wait. I remembered that he said
  293. 9:29it.
  294. 9:29>> Okay, good.
  295. 9:30>> Can I get some credit for that?
  296. 9:31[laughter]
  297. 9:31>> Yeah. Okay, congratul You did. You
  298. 9:33memorized the nature thing. Cool.
  299. 9:35>> So, so in here I I so I celebrate. So,
  300. 9:37what I do is there's aliens in TV shows
  301. 9:39and and movies and all of this. Uh
  302. 9:41there's even an alien opera with the
  303. 9:44global links. Did you hear about them?
  304. 9:46Written in the 1960s. These global links
  305. 9:48come to terrorize this this school of
  306. 9:50children. And they picked the wrong
  307. 9:53school because he this is a musical
  308. 9:55school and all the children sing. And
  309. 9:56the global links are completely
  310. 9:59irritated and allergic to melody.
  311. 10:03>> Is that a plot for opera or what?
  312. 10:05>> Yes. Yes.
  313. 10:06>> Okay. Yeah. So, so what I do is I
  314. 10:08explore all the ways we've imagined
  315. 10:10aliens to be and compare it to what an
  316. 10:13alien could be like just so that you can
  317. 10:15enjoy the conversation as all this
  318. 10:17unfolds while you're waiting for the
  319. 10:19actual alien to come forward. The
  320. 10:22>> this is here's what I'm curious about in
  321. 10:23this. You mentioned too the aliens that
  322. 10:25we've created in pop culture are
  323. 10:27somewhat of a reflection of us.
  324. 10:29>> Here it is. Here it is. The evil alien
  325. 10:31trope. Yeah. Where did that come from?
  326. 10:32Who? What? Why? Okay. I think it started
  327. 10:36with War of the Worlds, HG Wells. The
  328. 10:38Martians came, they didn't ask
  329. 10:40questions, they just slaughtered us all.
  330. 10:42Okay? And then that kept going in other
  331. 10:45story other stories that All right. And
  332. 10:47so I thought about it. We don't have any
  333. 10:49actual knowledge of the of the conduct
  334. 10:51of aliens. But you know what we do?
  335. 10:54>> We have actual knowledge of our own
  336. 10:56conduct with one another.
  337. 10:59And so anytime humans of higher
  338. 11:01technology have encountered
  339. 11:04civilizations with less technology, it
  340. 11:05has never boated well for the
  341. 11:08civilization with next with lower
  342. 11:09technology. They've been enslaved,
  343. 11:11killed, slaughtered. So we have seen the
  344. 11:16enemy and it's ourselves.
  345. 11:19>> Oh, is that nature? [laughter]
  346. 11:23foiced it and we have cast our own worst
  347. 11:28light upon what could be completely
  348. 11:31innocent friendly aliens just trying to
  349. 11:33explore the galaxy.
  350. 11:35>> Now I want to I want to I want to
  351. 11:37explore that a little bit more. I want
  352. 11:38to I want to show you some aliens.
  353. 11:40>> I [laughter] think he has something
  354. 11:41behind the desk here.
  355. 11:42>> I got I got some aliens here and I want
  356. 11:43your I want your take on what it says
  357. 11:45about us.
  358. 11:46>> You have aliens. You have pictures of
  359. 11:47aliens.
  360. 11:47>> Pictures of aliens. To be clear,
  361. 11:49>> this man is this man is knocking over
  362. 11:51boxes and tables looking for aliens
  363. 11:52everywhere. There's no aliens back here.
  364. 11:54>> You said I got aliens here.
  365. 11:56>> What is Here's an alien. All right.
  366. 11:58>> Oh,
  367. 11:59>> Baby Yoda. Baby Yoda. I see I see I see
  368. 12:01a cute, lovable, thoughtful mischievous.
  369. 12:04>> I don't want you to be prevented from
  370. 12:06entering Comic-Con. That's Grou.
  371. 12:09>> It's Gr.
  372. 12:10>> Okay.
  373. 12:11>> I know his technical name is Grou.
  374. 12:13>> Yes. Well, technically is his name. Not
  375. 12:15tech. Is your technical name Jordan? No,
  376. 12:17it's your real name. All right. So,
  377. 12:19bring it back.
  378. 12:19>> Yeah. Yeah, but if I would look like an
  379. 12:21adorable Baby Yoda, [laughter] people
  380. 12:22would call me Baby Yoda. Like horse
  381. 12:24head. I was called horse head for about
  382. 12:25four years of high school.
  383. 12:28>> I would still respond to it.
  384. 12:29>> Why the long face?
  385. 12:30>> Why? Okay, leave it to me. All right.
  386. 12:34>> All right. No, here it is. Here it is.
  387. 12:35So, so we have furry, cuddly creatures
  388. 12:39on Earth.
  389. 12:40>> Yeah.
  390. 12:40>> Oh, with eyes and feet and mouth. And
  391. 12:42so, and with even ears that look like
  392. 12:44this.
  393. 12:44>> Yeah.
  394. 12:45>> So, this is not creatively alien. And so
  395. 12:49I'm disappointed in this.
  396. 12:50>> You're disappointed?
  397. 12:51>> Yes.
  398. 12:52>> Because this is too much of a reflection
  399. 12:53of what we already have.
  400. 12:54>> It's got two ears, two eyes, a nose,
  401. 12:56mouth, arms, and legs. Okay. Okay. All
  402. 12:58right. So, so it's kind of humanoid in
  403. 13:00that sense. Oh, you give it pointy ears
  404. 13:02and all of a sudden that's alien. No,
  405. 13:04>> dogs have some dopam pitchers have
  406. 13:07pointy ears after they trim them, but
  407. 13:08the pointy ears. All right. So points
  408. 13:11alone, you got to do better than that
  409. 13:12because on Earth, humans and bananas
  410. 13:16share 20% identical genes and we're from
  411. 13:20the same planet. So if you come from
  412. 13:22another planet in a galaxy far away,
  413. 13:25then I'm going to expect you to look at
  414. 13:28least as different from humans as humans
  415. 13:30and bananas look from each other.
  416. 13:32>> So you're So you're saying this morning
  417. 13:33over breakfast? [cheering] Wow.
  418. 13:36>> [applause]
  419. 13:36>> Okay, give me a note.
  420. 13:39>> Also, what a buzzkill that this morning
  421. 13:41over breakfast I committed an act of
  422. 13:43cannibalism.
  423. 13:45>> Okay, here's one. All right, how about
  424. 13:47>> you ate a banana? You had a banana for
  425. 13:48breakfast.
  426. 13:48>> The three breasted woman uh [laughter]
  427. 13:53from Total Recall. Okay. So, again, we
  428. 13:56think aliens, they just have another
  429. 13:58appendage or another. There's an old
  430. 14:00episode of the Twilight Zone where there
  431. 14:02was a Venian there who was working
  432. 14:04behind a counter and he was wearing a
  433. 14:06Fez hat and at the end he lifts up the
  434. 14:08fat and there's a third eye in between
  435. 14:11>> alien in a third eye, but he still got
  436. 14:13two eyes and nose and mouth and he's a
  437. 14:14short order cook at a freaking
  438. 14:15restaurant. So, so I I need they got to
  439. 14:19do better that Hollywood has to do
  440. 14:21better. tail. Fruit taste.
  441. 14:26>> THERE'S THREE BREASTS.
  442. 14:27>> YOU ONLY have two hands.
  443. 14:32>> Did I Did I say that? Can I
  444. 14:35>> You heard it.
  445. 14:38>> Yet again with the niche, I [laughter]
  446. 14:39got to tell you.
  447. 14:41>> Okay. You want You want a You want a
  448. 14:43unique one? Okay. The the alien from
  449. 14:44Arrival.
  450. 14:45>> Oh, okay. That one was a a septtoid. Had
  451. 14:49seven legs. uh very octopus-like. Yep.
  452. 14:52>> But my issue, I have two issues. One,
  453. 14:55>> uh this is an invertebrate creature.
  454. 14:58It's just sort of flesh.
  455. 15:00>> How is it building spaceships
  456. 15:03>> that cross the galaxy? Like, how is it
  457. 15:05doing that? I don't know.
  458. 15:06>> I'm just saying if you're squishy, how
  459. 15:08you going to pick up a ham? What do you
  460. 15:10or screwdriver? What do you you're
  461. 15:12you're just all squish. Yeah.
  462. 15:13>> So, that's one. Second, this it had like
  463. 15:16squid ink and you remember it would it
  464. 15:18would paint a circle. That was the
  465. 15:19communication
  466. 15:20>> on the other side of this transparent
  467. 15:22wall, possibly glass. And we would
  468. 15:24analyze that. And I say to myself, how
  469. 15:27do they know that they're seeing it
  470. 15:31correctly if it's drawn from the other
  471. 15:34side? They're actually looking at a
  472. 15:35mirror image of what is being drawn from
  473. 15:38inside the glass. That was never
  474. 15:39addressed and they're decoding it. Plus,
  475. 15:42I feel bad, but I said it. I tweeted
  476. 15:44when I saw this. They had a physicist
  477. 15:46and a linguist investigate this and I'm
  478. 15:48saying no. You need a cryptographer and
  479. 15:51an astrobiologist.
  480. 15:54>> Are they are they SAG eligible?
  481. 15:56>> NO. AND THEN I then I realized linguists
  482. 15:59never get into movies where
  483. 16:01astrophysicists are in all sci-fi
  484. 16:03movies. So I felt sad because I cast
  485. 16:05shade on a whole profession because they
  486. 16:07were very excited that one of their own
  487. 16:08got in there.
  488. 16:08>> Give the linguist a move. Okay. All
  489. 16:10right. Let me see. Oh, here here's an
  490. 16:12alien. Can you explain this one to me?
  491. 16:14Oh,
  492. 16:17>> okay. Do you remember Men in Black? Uh,
  493. 16:20they had the wall where they're tracking
  494. 16:21all the aliens on Earth. Okay. And you
  495. 16:24recognize these people, but they all
  496. 16:26look just a little different.
  497. 16:28>> Yeah.
  498. 16:28>> It was like Michael Jackson was there,
  499. 16:30>> you know, when he turned white, after he
  500. 16:32turned white. Um, just just everybody.
  501. 16:35So, they were the aliens on Earth just
  502. 16:36posing as humans until they would be
  503. 16:39discovered. Do see if you look at the
  504. 16:40Trump administration, you see there's a
  505. 16:42chance there is there's
  506. 16:43>> Well, I would prefer if he smiled every
  507. 16:45now and then, you know, cuz I don't
  508. 16:47know. I like happiness.
  509. 16:50>> Yeah, he he he doesn't just expose
  510. 16:53happiness to you [laughter] like
  511. 16:55>> IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S ANGRY.
  512. 16:56>> He does look angry
  513. 16:57>> and odd because they're all in charge.
  514. 16:59If you're in charge, what could you be
  515. 17:01angry about?
  516. 17:02>> This This brings up Nichi. This Yeah.
  517. 17:05This brings up though an interesting
  518. 17:06point. What? Your book, Take Me to Your
  519. 17:08Leader.
  520. 17:08>> Yes.
  521. 17:09An alien lands on Earth.
  522. 17:12>> Yes.
  523. 17:12>> We say, "Take me to your leader." Is
  524. 17:14that the best idea?
  525. 17:15>> No. The alien says that to you.
  526. 17:16>> The alien says, "Take me to your
  527. 17:18leader."
  528. 17:18>> Yeah. So So they would likely have
  529. 17:20received our radio signals, which move
  530. 17:22at the speed of light. Uh on not on
  531. 17:24purpose. They just leak from Earth. And
  532. 17:26if they come tracking them, they're
  533. 17:28going to see who everyone worships. And
  534. 17:30I think they're going to expect to meet
  535. 17:32Taylor Swift.
  536. 17:34[cheering]
  537. 17:36[applause]
  538. 17:37>> I'M THINKING
  539. 17:39OR [cheering] OR OPRAH. There are people
  540. 17:41who are totally in charge of those
  541. 17:44airwaves. And so so be ready for it to
  542. 17:48not be an elected official.
  543. 17:49>> It could be somebody they've seen on TV.
  544. 17:51It could be Dr. Phil,
  545. 17:53>> but but also lately I've been thinking
  546. 17:56about democracies.
  547. 17:57>> Yeah,
  548. 17:57>> we elect leaders. Well, if you elect
  549. 18:01someone based on your preferences and
  550. 18:03priorities, maybe we shouldn't call them
  551. 18:05leaders. Perhaps we should call them
  552. 18:07followers.
  553. 18:10>> No, they're not buying it. [laughter]
  554. 18:16>> The book is a great read. I will read
  555. 18:18all the way through just in case they
  556. 18:19land. Do you know when they're coming,
  557. 18:20these aliens?
  558. 18:21>> I'm not authorized to comment further
  559. 18:22on.
  560. 18:22>> Okay, but you'll come back and talk when
  561. 18:24we do, right?
  562. 18:24>> Okay. When they land, you won't have to
  563. 18:27invite me back because you won't need to
  564. 18:29ask anyone ever more, do you believe in
  565. 18:31aliens?
  566. 18:32>> Cuz at that point, we will know.
  567. 18:34>> We will know.
  568. 18:34>> We will know. Take me to your leader is
  569. 18:36available now. Neil grass ta
  570. 18:40[music]

About this transcript

This page contains the full transcript of Neil deGrasse Tyson - How to Greet an Alien with “Take Me to Your Leader” | The Daily Show by The Daily Show, generated from the public captions YouTube serves with the video. The transcript has 3,530 words across 570 segments, with the original timestamps preserved so you can click any line to jump to that moment in the embedded player.

What you can do with it

Use the transcript to take notes, quote the speaker, build a study guide, generate a summary with ChatGPT or Claude via the YouTube Summary tool, or export it as a timed subtitle file with YouTube to SRT. You can also re-open it in the transcriber to translate the transcript into 100+ languages.

Free YouTube transcript tool

YouTube2Text is a free YouTube transcript generator — no signup, no daily limit. Paste any YouTube link and get the full transcript instantly, with timestamps, click-to-jump, translation to 100+ languages, AI prompts for ChatGPT, Claude, and Gemini, and exports to TXT, SRT, VTT, or Markdown.