Neil deGrasse Tyson - How to Greet an Alien with “Take Me to Your Leader” | The Daily Show — Transcript
Full transcript
- 0:00My guest tonight is an astrophysicist
- 0:01[cheering]
- 0:02and best-selling author whose new book
- 0:04is called Take Me to Your Leader:
- 0:06Perspectives on Your First Alien
- 0:08Encounter. Please welcome Neil Degrass
- 0:10Tyson.
- 0:13[music]
- 0:20[music]
- 0:20[applause]
- 0:28>> [music]
- 0:29>> I love it.
- 0:29>> All right.
- 0:30>> They love you. Their own personal
- 0:32astrophysicist here in person.
- 0:34>> That is true. That's how I think of
- 0:36myself.
- 0:36>> Yes. It's man, it's first of all, it's a
- 0:38big week in the world of what is beyond
- 0:41this universe.
- 0:42>> Every week is that.
- 0:43>> Yeah.
- 0:44>> To me,
- 0:44>> you're always looking at the stars.
- 0:45[laughter]
- 0:46Sometimes for fashion advice and
- 0:47sometimes just for career opportunities.
- 0:50[laughter]
- 0:50>> I want to talk to you about these these
- 0:52UFO files. These UFO files
- 0:54>> from the Pentagon.
- 0:54>> From the Pentagon. They came out. Yes.
- 0:56>> Neil Degrass Tyson, did you look at
- 0:58them? Did you see anything of interest
- 0:59there?
- 0:59>> It's all of interest.
- 1:00>> Yeah.
- 1:01>> Yeah.
- 1:01>> But but
- 1:04>> Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yes. I guess Pentagon
- 1:06files are all of interest.
- 1:07>> Yeah. It's a whatever comes out of the
- 1:08Pentagon is always interesting.
- 1:09>> Yes. And aliens.
- 1:11>> There's a difference, just to be clear,
- 1:13between what was once secret
- 1:16>> and what you might otherwise call a
- 1:17cover up. Obviously, the military keeps
- 1:20secrets. That's not something new or
- 1:22weird. So many of these files were
- 1:24previously secret and now they're
- 1:25released and they pretty much match in
- 1:28spirit the testimonies we've seen in
- 1:31front of Congress from 2023 to 2024.
- 1:35Three years of testimony,
- 1:38sworn testimony from insiders,
- 1:40whistleblowers, from intelligence
- 1:42agencies, from from the military
- 1:45basically telling us everything we see
- 1:47in these files.
- 1:48>> Yeah.
- 1:48>> So I was not surprised by it. and and
- 1:51and and if it's consistent with what
- 1:54human beings are telling you under oath,
- 1:56then there it is.
- 1:57>> But people tell us under oath, they see
- 2:00things they don't understand. But then
- 2:02cheap documentaries will tell us, "Ooh,
- 2:04there's aliens out there."
- 2:05>> Yes. So that's a leap at that point.
- 2:06>> That is [laughter] a leap.
- 2:08>> Yeah. Because if if it's a UFO or UAP,
- 2:10as it has been rebranded,
- 2:12>> which one do you go with, UFO or UAP?
- 2:13>> I'm I'm old school. UFO.
- 2:15>> It's more fun.
- 2:16>> Yeah. YEAH.
- 2:18[cheering and applause]
- 2:21unidentified anomalous phenomenon. Come
- 2:23on now. Hard to say.
- 2:24>> Yeah. Yeah. And it's hard to say, right?
- 2:26So, UFO, my issue has always been if you
- 2:30don't know what it is to you, it's a
- 2:32UFO.
- 2:33>> But if I know what it is, then it's an
- 2:34IFO. Let's just get real here. Okay.
- 2:36[laughter] So, and I know a lot about
- 2:38the night sky and weather situ clouds
- 2:41and all of this. And I've never seen
- 2:43anything I couldn't explain. But I don't
- 2:45want to deny that of other people. And
- 2:47in the old days, it was the farmer in
- 2:49the back 40 and something floating in
- 2:51the back in the back and they report it
- 2:53or drunken revelers coming out of the
- 2:55bar. So, it was easy to discount that,
- 2:57right?
- 2:58>> But with people of such high rank and
- 3:00privilege and access, you can't just
- 3:02sweep it away.
- 3:03>> So, I'm not sweeping it away. And then
- 3:05this book, it's a celebration
- 3:08>> of how much time, energy, and creativity
- 3:12we've invested in thinking about aliens.
- 3:14Mhm. There's a real human desire for
- 3:16that
- 3:16>> apparently.
- 3:17>> You you mentioned in this book you
- 3:19mentioned in this book though it's it's
- 3:21a it's a it's an English speakaking
- 3:22phenomenon.
- 3:23>> Oh yeah. So if you look at a map of the
- 3:25world of all reported UFO sightings
- 3:28>> they concentrate in United States,
- 3:32Canada, UK, Australia and New Zealand.
- 3:36[laughter]
- 3:37>> Is there anyone else who speaks English
- 3:39in the world? That's kind of it. So, so
- 3:42could it be just our our potent pop
- 3:45culture where, you know, every other
- 3:47movie there's an alien portrayed uh evil
- 3:50or otherwise? I I don't know because our
- 3:53our movies go worldwide.
- 3:55>> So, there's something else going on. And
- 3:57I concluded the aliens only want to land
- 4:00in English-sp speakaking countries.
- 4:02>> I don't know.
- 4:05>> If you're going to watch one story, we
- 4:06have a pretty compelling one going on
- 4:08[laughter] right now.
- 4:09>> It is. There's the answer. Maybe the
- 4:10aliens can't read subtitles. Is that
- 4:12what it is?
- 4:14[laughter]
- 4:15>> So, um, so my point is I right now you
- 4:20go up to another person, you say, do you
- 4:22believe in aliens? And, uh, but no one
- 4:26asks you, do you believe in whales?
- 4:31>> Well, I I still haven't seen proof of
- 4:32it.
- 4:34>> Well, do you believe in elephants? You
- 4:37don't have to ask that because you've
- 4:39seen an elephant. You've seen a whale if
- 4:42not beached or otherwise. Come to our
- 4:43museum. We got one hanging from the
- 4:45ceiling. Okay. Museum of Natural
- 4:47History, New York City.
- 4:48>> Okay.
- 4:50>> Okay.
- 4:51>> Boy, people promote a lot of on
- 4:53this show, though. Oh, yeah. Yeah. For
- 4:56that museum propaganda, [laughter] you
- 4:57guys.
- 4:58So, so
- 5:02all I ask of the Pentagon files is bring
- 5:06out the alien.
- 5:08Is that too much to ask?
- 5:10>> Let us see for ourselves.
- 5:12>> Bring it out. Then you don't need a
- 5:142-hour documentary
- 5:17extolling the title and pedigree of who
- 5:21is claiming a truth.
- 5:23>> You bring out the alien and then, hey,
- 5:25did you see that alien? That's cool.
- 5:27[laughter] Okay. And then it's no longer
- 5:28do you believe in it. It's just there.
- 5:30>> Is it there?
- 5:31>> And and so in here what I do is in case
- 5:33there really is an alien that they want
- 5:35to bring out. It's a primer on how to
- 5:37interact
- 5:38>> for your first time with an alien. Can I
- 5:40share a couple of things? Got time? I
- 5:41don't know. You got time? I don't
- 5:42>> I got time. What do you got? [laughter]
- 5:43Yes. Yes,
- 5:43>> I got time.
- 5:44>> No, I'm I've interviewed another alien
- 5:46specialist after this.
- 5:48[laughter]
- 5:49>> What do we need to know?
- 5:50>> Yeah, you need to know. So, for example,
- 5:51if it comes up to you and there's some
- 5:53appendage there. Yeah.
- 5:54>> Don't grab it and shake it.
- 5:55>> No. because you don't know what part of
- 5:58the alien anatomy that is. [cheering]
- 6:01>> I don't think you want to know. Okay.
- 6:04>> Or what a great way to make friends.
- 6:08>> Let me tell you, if somebody grabbed me
- 6:09there now as [laughter] a a man who's
- 6:11been married for 12 years, I would take
- 6:14it. I would take it. Come on, alien.
- 6:15Just grab it. Give me some connection,
- 6:17please.
- 6:18>> Plus, what do you look like to them?
- 6:20Let's say you befriended them and then
- 6:22after, you know, some hours go by, you
- 6:24say, "Excuse me." You know, Mr. Alien,
- 6:26Mrs. Alien, uh, I have to lay down
- 6:29horizontally and go semicomaosse for
- 6:32onethird of Earth's rotation.
- 6:35They'll look at you like, "What's wrong
- 6:36with you? WHAT IS THIS? [laughter]
- 6:37YOU'RE YOU'RE NOT EVEN RESPONSIVE.
- 6:39You're you're mostly dead." Okay? And
- 6:42so, you don't know if they sleep cuz if
- 6:44they don't sleep, you sleeping is going
- 6:46to look really weird. So, just be ready
- 6:48for that. Okay? Little things
- 6:51>> like even eating probably looks strange.
- 6:53No, if they were if they were
- 6:54plant-based, then eating would look
- 6:56really weird
- 6:56>> because they just have to lay out in the
- 6:58sun to get their nourishment. And
- 7:00>> so they like, "What are you putting in
- 7:01these weird holes?"
- 7:02>> No, no, not only that, it's Why are you
- 7:04killing living things to put in your
- 7:06mouth?
- 7:06>> Oh, they're judgy.
- 7:09[cheering]
- 7:09>> Oh my god. You're Oh, they have like the
- 7:11temperament of a vegan. Is that what
- 7:13you're telling me?
- 7:14>> Wait, wait. No, it's worse.
- 7:16>> Because even vegans, everything they put
- 7:19in their mouth was once alive.
- 7:21>> Yes. In fact, the two things that are
- 7:22expressly excluded from the vegan diet
- 7:25did not require the death of another
- 7:27animal. It was milk and honey. That's
- 7:29even biblical. But you're not supposed
- 7:30to eat that. And I'm thinking nothing
- 7:32had to die for you to eat the milk and
- 7:34honey. That's the best diet at all. So
- 7:37if a plant-based animal comes, alien
- 7:39comes, you're safest. You say, "I just
- 7:42eat milk and honey." And and you're not
- 7:44dangerous to their plant brethren in the
- 7:47world.
- 7:47>> Don't touch their Say milk and
- 7:48honey.
- 7:49>> DOES NOT LIKE WHAT YOU SAY. THAT'S WHAT
- 7:51That's what you said. THE SCIENTIST SAID
- 7:52IT. I'm [laughter] getting it.
- 7:55>> Okay.
- 7:55>> I'm getting it. Anything else we need to
- 7:57know? That's it. That's got to cover.
- 7:59>> So, you want to Okay.
- 8:03>> Come on. I got another astrophysicist.
- 8:06>> Leave the flatearthers at home.
- 8:08>> Really?
- 8:08>> You don't want them to meet the alien.
- 8:10>> You want to leave the best impression
- 8:12possible on them.
- 8:14>> And if they know you have flat earth
- 8:15friends, they're going to leave.
- 8:17[laughter]
- 8:19they're going to say no sign of
- 8:20intelligent life here and they go back
- 8:22to their home planet. So I so in the
- 8:25book I have a whole chapter on how to
- 8:26how to befriend them with science and
- 8:29math because that's universal. The laws
- 8:32of physics on earth are established
- 8:34across time and through space itself.
- 8:37And math is the language of the
- 8:38universe. And if the alien is going to
- 8:40come to Earth and you're going to talk
- 8:41to it, it better be in that language.
- 8:43>> Oh, Neil, I hard disagree on this one.
- 8:47That kid in middle school comes up and
- 8:49is like, "I want to be friends. Let's
- 8:50talk math." I did not make friends with
- 8:53I think you taught classic rock with
- 8:55these guys. All right.
- 8:57>> Well, you don't know if they have the
- 8:58same sensory exposure to the world that
- 9:01we do.
- 9:01>> Okay. So, they might not understand
- 9:03music. They might
- 9:03>> they might not hear it at all.
- 9:05>> There's a saying from Nichi. Those who
- 9:08could not hear
- 9:12how this quote go. Those who were
- 9:14dancing were judged to be insane by
- 9:17those who could not hear the music.
- 9:20>> Oh,
- 9:22>> so he didn't say it. Nze said,
- 9:27>> wait, wait. I remembered that he said
- 9:29it.
- 9:29>> Okay, good.
- 9:30>> Can I get some credit for that?
- 9:31[laughter]
- 9:31>> Yeah. Okay, congratul You did. You
- 9:33memorized the nature thing. Cool.
- 9:35>> So, so in here I I so I celebrate. So,
- 9:37what I do is there's aliens in TV shows
- 9:39and and movies and all of this. Uh
- 9:41there's even an alien opera with the
- 9:44global links. Did you hear about them?
- 9:46Written in the 1960s. These global links
- 9:48come to terrorize this this school of
- 9:50children. And they picked the wrong
- 9:53school because he this is a musical
- 9:55school and all the children sing. And
- 9:56the global links are completely
- 9:59irritated and allergic to melody.
- 10:03>> Is that a plot for opera or what?
- 10:05>> Yes. Yes.
- 10:06>> Okay. Yeah. So, so what I do is I
- 10:08explore all the ways we've imagined
- 10:10aliens to be and compare it to what an
- 10:13alien could be like just so that you can
- 10:15enjoy the conversation as all this
- 10:17unfolds while you're waiting for the
- 10:19actual alien to come forward. The
- 10:22>> this is here's what I'm curious about in
- 10:23this. You mentioned too the aliens that
- 10:25we've created in pop culture are
- 10:27somewhat of a reflection of us.
- 10:29>> Here it is. Here it is. The evil alien
- 10:31trope. Yeah. Where did that come from?
- 10:32Who? What? Why? Okay. I think it started
- 10:36with War of the Worlds, HG Wells. The
- 10:38Martians came, they didn't ask
- 10:40questions, they just slaughtered us all.
- 10:42Okay? And then that kept going in other
- 10:45story other stories that All right. And
- 10:47so I thought about it. We don't have any
- 10:49actual knowledge of the of the conduct
- 10:51of aliens. But you know what we do?
- 10:54>> We have actual knowledge of our own
- 10:56conduct with one another.
- 10:59And so anytime humans of higher
- 11:01technology have encountered
- 11:04civilizations with less technology, it
- 11:05has never boated well for the
- 11:08civilization with next with lower
- 11:09technology. They've been enslaved,
- 11:11killed, slaughtered. So we have seen the
- 11:16enemy and it's ourselves.
- 11:19>> Oh, is that nature? [laughter]
- 11:23foiced it and we have cast our own worst
- 11:28light upon what could be completely
- 11:31innocent friendly aliens just trying to
- 11:33explore the galaxy.
- 11:35>> Now I want to I want to I want to
- 11:37explore that a little bit more. I want
- 11:38to I want to show you some aliens.
- 11:40>> I [laughter] think he has something
- 11:41behind the desk here.
- 11:42>> I got I got some aliens here and I want
- 11:43your I want your take on what it says
- 11:45about us.
- 11:46>> You have aliens. You have pictures of
- 11:47aliens.
- 11:47>> Pictures of aliens. To be clear,
- 11:49>> this man is this man is knocking over
- 11:51boxes and tables looking for aliens
- 11:52everywhere. There's no aliens back here.
- 11:54>> You said I got aliens here.
- 11:56>> What is Here's an alien. All right.
- 11:58>> Oh,
- 11:59>> Baby Yoda. Baby Yoda. I see I see I see
- 12:01a cute, lovable, thoughtful mischievous.
- 12:04>> I don't want you to be prevented from
- 12:06entering Comic-Con. That's Grou.
- 12:09>> It's Gr.
- 12:10>> Okay.
- 12:11>> I know his technical name is Grou.
- 12:13>> Yes. Well, technically is his name. Not
- 12:15tech. Is your technical name Jordan? No,
- 12:17it's your real name. All right. So,
- 12:19bring it back.
- 12:19>> Yeah. Yeah, but if I would look like an
- 12:21adorable Baby Yoda, [laughter] people
- 12:22would call me Baby Yoda. Like horse
- 12:24head. I was called horse head for about
- 12:25four years of high school.
- 12:28>> I would still respond to it.
- 12:29>> Why the long face?
- 12:30>> Why? Okay, leave it to me. All right.
- 12:34>> All right. No, here it is. Here it is.
- 12:35So, so we have furry, cuddly creatures
- 12:39on Earth.
- 12:40>> Yeah.
- 12:40>> Oh, with eyes and feet and mouth. And
- 12:42so, and with even ears that look like
- 12:44this.
- 12:44>> Yeah.
- 12:45>> So, this is not creatively alien. And so
- 12:49I'm disappointed in this.
- 12:50>> You're disappointed?
- 12:51>> Yes.
- 12:52>> Because this is too much of a reflection
- 12:53of what we already have.
- 12:54>> It's got two ears, two eyes, a nose,
- 12:56mouth, arms, and legs. Okay. Okay. All
- 12:58right. So, so it's kind of humanoid in
- 13:00that sense. Oh, you give it pointy ears
- 13:02and all of a sudden that's alien. No,
- 13:04>> dogs have some dopam pitchers have
- 13:07pointy ears after they trim them, but
- 13:08the pointy ears. All right. So points
- 13:11alone, you got to do better than that
- 13:12because on Earth, humans and bananas
- 13:16share 20% identical genes and we're from
- 13:20the same planet. So if you come from
- 13:22another planet in a galaxy far away,
- 13:25then I'm going to expect you to look at
- 13:28least as different from humans as humans
- 13:30and bananas look from each other.
- 13:32>> So you're So you're saying this morning
- 13:33over breakfast? [cheering] Wow.
- 13:36>> [applause]
- 13:36>> Okay, give me a note.
- 13:39>> Also, what a buzzkill that this morning
- 13:41over breakfast I committed an act of
- 13:43cannibalism.
- 13:45>> Okay, here's one. All right, how about
- 13:47>> you ate a banana? You had a banana for
- 13:48breakfast.
- 13:48>> The three breasted woman uh [laughter]
- 13:53from Total Recall. Okay. So, again, we
- 13:56think aliens, they just have another
- 13:58appendage or another. There's an old
- 14:00episode of the Twilight Zone where there
- 14:02was a Venian there who was working
- 14:04behind a counter and he was wearing a
- 14:06Fez hat and at the end he lifts up the
- 14:08fat and there's a third eye in between
- 14:11>> alien in a third eye, but he still got
- 14:13two eyes and nose and mouth and he's a
- 14:14short order cook at a freaking
- 14:15restaurant. So, so I I need they got to
- 14:19do better that Hollywood has to do
- 14:21better. tail. Fruit taste.
- 14:26>> THERE'S THREE BREASTS.
- 14:27>> YOU ONLY have two hands.
- 14:32>> Did I Did I say that? Can I
- 14:35>> You heard it.
- 14:38>> Yet again with the niche, I [laughter]
- 14:39got to tell you.
- 14:41>> Okay. You want You want a You want a
- 14:43unique one? Okay. The the alien from
- 14:44Arrival.
- 14:45>> Oh, okay. That one was a a septtoid. Had
- 14:49seven legs. uh very octopus-like. Yep.
- 14:52>> But my issue, I have two issues. One,
- 14:55>> uh this is an invertebrate creature.
- 14:58It's just sort of flesh.
- 15:00>> How is it building spaceships
- 15:03>> that cross the galaxy? Like, how is it
- 15:05doing that? I don't know.
- 15:06>> I'm just saying if you're squishy, how
- 15:08you going to pick up a ham? What do you
- 15:10or screwdriver? What do you you're
- 15:12you're just all squish. Yeah.
- 15:13>> So, that's one. Second, this it had like
- 15:16squid ink and you remember it would it
- 15:18would paint a circle. That was the
- 15:19communication
- 15:20>> on the other side of this transparent
- 15:22wall, possibly glass. And we would
- 15:24analyze that. And I say to myself, how
- 15:27do they know that they're seeing it
- 15:31correctly if it's drawn from the other
- 15:34side? They're actually looking at a
- 15:35mirror image of what is being drawn from
- 15:38inside the glass. That was never
- 15:39addressed and they're decoding it. Plus,
- 15:42I feel bad, but I said it. I tweeted
- 15:44when I saw this. They had a physicist
- 15:46and a linguist investigate this and I'm
- 15:48saying no. You need a cryptographer and
- 15:51an astrobiologist.
- 15:54>> Are they are they SAG eligible?
- 15:56>> NO. AND THEN I then I realized linguists
- 15:59never get into movies where
- 16:01astrophysicists are in all sci-fi
- 16:03movies. So I felt sad because I cast
- 16:05shade on a whole profession because they
- 16:07were very excited that one of their own
- 16:08got in there.
- 16:08>> Give the linguist a move. Okay. All
- 16:10right. Let me see. Oh, here here's an
- 16:12alien. Can you explain this one to me?
- 16:14Oh,
- 16:17>> okay. Do you remember Men in Black? Uh,
- 16:20they had the wall where they're tracking
- 16:21all the aliens on Earth. Okay. And you
- 16:24recognize these people, but they all
- 16:26look just a little different.
- 16:28>> Yeah.
- 16:28>> It was like Michael Jackson was there,
- 16:30>> you know, when he turned white, after he
- 16:32turned white. Um, just just everybody.
- 16:35So, they were the aliens on Earth just
- 16:36posing as humans until they would be
- 16:39discovered. Do see if you look at the
- 16:40Trump administration, you see there's a
- 16:42chance there is there's
- 16:43>> Well, I would prefer if he smiled every
- 16:45now and then, you know, cuz I don't
- 16:47know. I like happiness.
- 16:50>> Yeah, he he he doesn't just expose
- 16:53happiness to you [laughter] like
- 16:55>> IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S ANGRY.
- 16:56>> He does look angry
- 16:57>> and odd because they're all in charge.
- 16:59If you're in charge, what could you be
- 17:01angry about?
- 17:02>> This This brings up Nichi. This Yeah.
- 17:05This brings up though an interesting
- 17:06point. What? Your book, Take Me to Your
- 17:08Leader.
- 17:08>> Yes.
- 17:09An alien lands on Earth.
- 17:12>> Yes.
- 17:12>> We say, "Take me to your leader." Is
- 17:14that the best idea?
- 17:15>> No. The alien says that to you.
- 17:16>> The alien says, "Take me to your
- 17:18leader."
- 17:18>> Yeah. So So they would likely have
- 17:20received our radio signals, which move
- 17:22at the speed of light. Uh on not on
- 17:24purpose. They just leak from Earth. And
- 17:26if they come tracking them, they're
- 17:28going to see who everyone worships. And
- 17:30I think they're going to expect to meet
- 17:32Taylor Swift.
- 17:34[cheering]
- 17:36[applause]
- 17:37>> I'M THINKING
- 17:39OR [cheering] OR OPRAH. There are people
- 17:41who are totally in charge of those
- 17:44airwaves. And so so be ready for it to
- 17:48not be an elected official.
- 17:49>> It could be somebody they've seen on TV.
- 17:51It could be Dr. Phil,
- 17:53>> but but also lately I've been thinking
- 17:56about democracies.
- 17:57>> Yeah,
- 17:57>> we elect leaders. Well, if you elect
- 18:01someone based on your preferences and
- 18:03priorities, maybe we shouldn't call them
- 18:05leaders. Perhaps we should call them
- 18:07followers.
- 18:10>> No, they're not buying it. [laughter]
- 18:16>> The book is a great read. I will read
- 18:18all the way through just in case they
- 18:19land. Do you know when they're coming,
- 18:20these aliens?
- 18:21>> I'm not authorized to comment further
- 18:22on.
- 18:22>> Okay, but you'll come back and talk when
- 18:24we do, right?
- 18:24>> Okay. When they land, you won't have to
- 18:27invite me back because you won't need to
- 18:29ask anyone ever more, do you believe in
- 18:31aliens?
- 18:32>> Cuz at that point, we will know.
- 18:34>> We will know.
- 18:34>> We will know. Take me to your leader is
- 18:36available now. Neil grass ta
- 18:40[music]
About this transcript
This page contains the full transcript of Neil deGrasse Tyson - How to Greet an Alien with “Take Me to Your Leader” | The Daily Show by The Daily Show, generated from the public captions YouTube serves with the video. The transcript has 3,530 words across 570 segments, with the original timestamps preserved so you can click any line to jump to that moment in the embedded player.
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