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My Son Cut Me Out of His Birthday Photo, So I Put a "For Sale" Sign on the House He Was Living In — Transcript

by Granite Revenge · 3,529 words · 570 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00"Can you step out? This is a family
0:02photo."
0:03My son said it loudly enough that the
0:05whole back half of the restaurant turned
0:07around.
0:09I was holding a glass of iced tea,
0:11standing exactly where the photographer
0:14had told me to stand, which was beside
0:16my son at his own 35th birthday dinner.
0:19I had spent a month planning that
0:21evening. I booked the private corner of
0:23a steakhouse on James Street North in
0:26Hamilton, paid the $600 deposit with my
0:29own Visa, and ordered the maple bourbon
0:32cake from the bakery Justin loved as a
0:34boy.
0:35And now he was waving two fingers at me,
0:38the way you'd wave off a waiter.
0:40Beside him stood his wife, Caitlin.
0:43Beside her stood her parents, Ronald and
0:46Deborah Porter, who had driven in from
0:48Oakville, and had so far contributed a
0:51bottle of wine and a lot of opinions
0:53about the lighting. The photographer, a
0:55young man Caitlin had hired, lowered his
0:58camera and looked at his shoes. "Mom,"
1:02Justin said with a little sigh, as if I
1:04were the one making this awkward. "Just
1:06for this one. It's for the family."
1:09Ronald smiled. Deborah smiled. Neither
1:11smile went anywhere near their eyes.
1:14Caitlin reached up and straightened
1:16Justin's collar.
1:18I did not ask him who had paid for the
1:20steak he'd just eaten. I did not remind
1:23him that I worked double shifts to raise
1:24him, or that I drove him to hockey at
1:275:00 in the morning in a Corolla with no
1:29heat.
1:30I set my glass on the table, nodded, and
1:33stepped out of the frame.
1:35The flash went off. They laughed and
1:38crowded around the little screen on the
1:40back of the camera. Nobody looked for
1:42me.
1:43So I went to the coat check, took my
1:45wool coat and my purse, and walked out
1:48the front doors into the cold October
1:50air. I wasn't crying. What I felt was
1:53strange and clear, like a window someone
1:55had finally wiped clean.
1:58I drove home along the lake road with
1:59the radio off.
2:012 hours later, I was standing in my
2:03kitchen with the kettle on when my phone
2:06buzzed on the counter.
2:08It was Caitlin. He keeps asking why you
2:10left. People noticed. It's really
2:12embarrassing for him.
2:14I read it twice, then I deleted it,
2:16poured my tea, and sat down at the
2:18table.
2:20The embarrassing part hadn't even
2:22started yet.
2:23I should explain about the house. It was
2:25a four-bedroom brick house in Burlington
2:28on a street of maples, and the deed said
2:30Gail Elliott and nothing else.
2:33My husband, Wayne, and I bought it in
2:351994.
2:37After he died 3 years ago, every room
2:39seemed to echo. When Justin and Caitlin
2:42asked if they could move in for a year
2:44or two to save for a down payment, I
2:46said yes before they finished the
2:48sentence.
2:50With Toronto prices the way they are,
2:52how could I not?
2:54A year turned into two.
2:56Somewhere in there, I became the
2:57housekeeper.
2:59I bought the groceries, cooked supper,
3:01and did their laundry because Caitlin
3:03always forgot to switch it over.
3:06I picked up her boots from the middle of
3:07the front hall. They were good leather
3:09boots, and they sat there like a small,
3:12expensive insult.
3:14That night, I picked them up one more
3:16time and put them in the closet.
3:18Then I went up to my bedroom, the only
3:21room in that house that still felt like
3:23mine, and sat on the edge of the bed.
3:26The photograph wasn't about a
3:27photograph. It was a picture of how they
3:30saw me.
3:31The sponsor, the help, the woman who
3:34stands in the background and pays. And
3:37the worst part was that I had taught
3:38them to see me that way. Every time I
3:40swallowed a remark, every time I paid
3:43for something and said, "Don't worry
3:45about it."
3:46I was showing them where my place was.
3:49Neither of them called. Justin probably
3:52figured I'd sleep it off and have bacon
3:54on by Sunday morning like always.
3:57I had never given him a reason to think
3:59otherwise.
4:00I opened my nightstand drawer, took out
4:02the little notebook where I keep my
4:04passwords and account numbers, and
4:06started a list.
4:08It wasn't a list of things to shout
4:10about. I didn't want an apology because
4:13an apology costs nothing, and they'd get
4:15over feeling sorry by Tuesday.
4:18I wanted something that would last.
4:20Sunday morning came in bright through
4:22the kitchen blind. Normally by 9:00, I
4:25had the bacon going and the coffee
4:27dripping.
4:28When Justin and Caitlin came down at
4:309:30, puffy-eyed and a bit hungover,
4:34they found a cold stove and a spotless
4:36counter. The big espresso machine, the
4:39one I'd bought myself for Christmas, was
4:41unplugged and sitting in a cardboard box
4:44on the dining table.
4:46"Mom?" Justin rubbed his face. "Where's
4:48breakfast?"
4:50"I'm not making breakfast," I said quite
4:52cheerfully wiping the counter.
4:54Caitlin pulled her silk robe tighter.
4:57"Why is the coffee machine in a box? I
4:59need my latte."
5:01"I'm decluttering. You two will need to
5:03sort out your own meals from now on. I'm
5:06stepping back."
5:07Justin finally looked at me properly.
5:10"Are you still mad about last night?
5:12Come on, Mom. Caitlin's parents hardly
5:15ever get a picture with us. You made it
5:17weird by leaving."
5:19I dropped the cloth in the sink.
5:21"I had a lovely time at the dinner, but
5:23I realized something.
5:25You're building your own family and I
5:27respect that. So, I'm giving you the
5:30independence you obviously want."
5:32I picked up my purse and keys.
5:35"Where are you going?" Caitlin said,
5:37looking at the empty coffee pot as if it
5:40had personally betrayed her.
5:42"Out. Oh, and I emptied your laundry
5:44hamper onto your bed. It was getting
5:46full. Enjoy your Sunday.
5:49I went to Tim Hortons, bought a medium
5:51double-double, and sat in the parking
5:53lot watching the geese.
5:55I'll admit I enjoyed it more than I
5:57should have.
5:59The coffee was never the real wake-up
6:01call. That was scheduled for Tuesday.
6:04On Tuesday morning, I sat at the
6:06computer with a mug of plain drip coffee
6:08and logged into my bank.
6:10When Justin and Caitlyn moved in, I'd
6:13added Justin as an authorized user on my
6:15Visa. The rule was emergencies only,
6:18like a dead battery or a burst tire.
6:20Over the past 6 months, though,
6:22emergency had stretched to cover
6:24groceries, a leather jacket for Caitlyn,
6:27and a string of date night dinners.
6:30I'd paid every statement without a word
6:33because I didn't want to fight.
6:35I clicked manage cardholders, selected
6:37Justin's name, and pressed remove.
6:40It took less than 30 seconds.
6:42At a quarter past 2:00, my phone rang.
6:44Justin.
6:46Mom, did you do something to the card?
6:48Caitlyn's at the Loblaws and it got
6:50declined.
6:52In front of everyone.
6:53Yes. I canceled it.
6:55What? Why? She's got a whole cart of
6:57food.
6:59I went over my finances this week, I
7:01said, tracing the rim of my mug. You're
7:04both adults with your own family. It's
7:06no longer appropriate for me to cover
7:08your daily expenses.
7:11You could have warned us.
7:13You both have jobs, Justin. You don't
7:16need a warning to pay for your own
7:17groceries.
7:19I hung up. 10 minutes later, the front
7:21door slammed and Caitlyn stomped into
7:24the hall carrying one small bag instead
7:26of her usual six.
7:28That was incredibly spiteful, Gail, she
7:31snapped, dropping it on the floor.
7:33Not Mom, Gail.
7:34She'd never once used my name that way
7:36and I noticed.
7:38Pick up the bag, Caitlyn. We'll talk
7:40when Justin gets home.
7:42He walked in at 5:30.
7:45They'd clearly been texting all
7:46afternoon because they came into the
7:49living room as a team and sat down on my
7:51sofa like a delegation.
7:53"Mom, we need to talk about your
7:55attitude."Justin began.
7:57"Sit."I said, though they already had. I
8:01stayed standing and held one sheet of
8:03paper."Since you moved in, I've covered
8:05the mortgage, the property taxes, the
8:07utilities, and most of the groceries.
8:11The agreement was that you'd be saving
8:12for a home of your own. After this past
8:15weekend, I realized I've been treating
8:17you like children, which isn't fair to
8:20anyone."
8:21I handed him the page. He read it and
8:23his eyes went wide.
8:25"Starting the first of next month, rent
8:27is $2,200. That covers your share of the
8:31hydro, water, and internet. You buy your
8:34own food and do your own chores. If that
8:37doesn't suit you, you have 60 days to
8:39find another place."
8:41Caitlin snatched the page out of his
8:43hand."$2,200? We can't afford that.
8:47We're saving."
8:48"You both earn good salaries. In this
8:50neighborhood, a full floor with its own
8:53bathroom and parking would run you more
8:55than that.
8:56I'm being generous."
8:58"This is our home, too."she said."No."I
9:02said quietly and looked straight at her.
9:05"This is my home. You're tenants. And
9:07tenants who leave the owner out of the
9:09family photo don't get to live here for
9:11free."
9:12Justin stared hard at his socks."Mom,
9:15please. We never meant to hurt your
9:17feelings."
9:18"My feelings aren't hurt, Justin. My
9:21eyes are open. The first of the month is
9:232 weeks away. Let me know."
9:26I went into the kitchen and ran the tap,
9:29partly so they could hear that I wasn't
9:31listening. They still thought I was
9:33bluffing.
9:342 weeks went by. They paid the 2200 by
9:37e-transfer
9:39on the 1st with a message line that said
9:41only rent.
9:43Caitlin slammed cabinets whenever I
9:45walked past and I let her. Saturdays
9:47belonged to me again. I read. I walked
9:50down to the water. I went to the market
9:52in Hamilton and bought one chop, not
9:54four.
9:55Then, on the second Saturday of that
9:58month, the Porters came by for a visit.
10:00I was out back repotting ferns with the
10:03kitchen window open above me. And voices
10:05carry well in a brick house in November.
10:08"Solid bones,"Ronald said."Good lot,
10:11too."
10:12"It really is,"said Caitlin."Once Gail
10:15goes into a retirement home, or, you
10:17know, passes, Justin and I are going to
10:20gut the whole main floor, knock out this
10:22wall, open the kitchen to the dining
10:24room. Her bedroom upstairs becomes the
10:27nursery. We've already priced it."
10:29"Smart to have a plan,"Deborah agreed.
10:32"She can't rattle around in this big
10:34place forever."
10:36I stopped with a handful of soil halfway
10:38to the pot. I wasn't angry.
10:41What I felt was cold and steady, like
10:44when you finally add up a bill you've
10:45been avoiding.
10:47They weren't saving for their own house.
10:49They were waiting for mine. They'd been
10:51walking my floors and measuring my walls
10:54and counting the days.
10:56I washed my hands at the outdoor tap,
10:58dried them on my jeans, and scrolled my
11:01phone to Nancy Hunter, who'd been in my
11:03book club for 15 years and had sold real
11:06estate in Halton for 20.
11:09"Nancy, it's Gail. Free for coffee this
11:12week? I've got a property to list and
11:14I'd like it done quickly and quietly."
11:17The The wall they wanted to knock down
11:19was going to stay exactly where it was.
11:22Nancy came on Tuesday while Justin and
11:24Caitlin were at their downtown offices.
11:28She walked through with a clipboard and
11:30a measuring tape, running her palm along
11:32the original's oak banister.
11:35Gail, you've kept this place
11:36beautifully. The market's tight right
11:38now. Low inventory, lots of buyers.
11:42Price it right and we'll see multiple
11:44offers inside a week.
11:46That's what I was hoping to hear.
11:48Where will you go?
11:50There's a 55 plus condo building down by
11:53the lake in Burlington. The ones with
11:55the wrap around balconies.
11:58I want something smaller. No snow
12:00shovel, no gutters, no one's boots in my
12:02hallway.
12:04Nancy laughed. I know the building. I
12:07can get you in to see a unit this
12:08afternoon.
12:10We sat at the kitchen table and I signed
12:12the listing agreement without a second
12:14thought. No open houses. I told her I
12:18wasn't going to have strangers parading
12:20through my living room while I still
12:22lived in it. So, private showings only
12:24with notice. She took the photographs of
12:27the exterior and said the sign would go
12:30up Friday morning.
12:32At the door she hesitated. Do the kids
12:34know?
12:35Not yet. They've been dreaming about a
12:37place of their own, Nancy.
12:40I'm just giving them the push.
12:42She looked at my face for a moment.
12:44She'd been in the business long enough
12:46to know when not to ask. I spent the
12:49afternoon wrapping my mother's China in
12:51newspaper and humming.
12:54Friday morning, a man in a pickup
12:56hammered a post into my front lawn and
12:58hung a white sign from it.
13:00I sat on the porch in my cardigan with a
13:02cup of tea and watched the street wake
13:04up. Justin and Caitlin worked from home
13:07on Fridays and usually came down around
13:109:00.
13:11At quarter past the front door opened.
13:13Justin stepped out for a parcel, glanced
13:15up and stopped.
13:17The box slid out of his hands.
13:19Mom, what is that? Why is there a sign
13:22on the lawn?
13:23Caitlin came out behind him, laptop
13:25still open in her arms. all the color
13:28left her face.
13:29"Good morning,"I said."I'm selling the
13:31house."
13:33"You can't!"she shrieked."We live here!"
13:36"You rent a floor here, month to month.
13:38I own the house, and it's too much
13:40upkeep for one person. I'm downsizing."
13:44Justin gripped the railing like it might
13:46float away.
13:47"Where are we supposed to go? We
13:49haven't saved enough for what we want."
13:52"You both earn excellent money."
13:54I took a sip of tea."You'll qualify for
13:57a lovely apartment while you keep
13:59saving. The buyers will want a 30-day
14:01closing, I expect. I'd start packing
14:04this weekend."
14:06"This is about the photo,"he said, and
14:08his voice cracked on it."One stupid
14:10picture at my birthday."
14:12I looked at my son. I felt a pang. I
14:15won't pretend I didn't, but under it was
14:17something that felt a lot like peace.
14:20"The photo only showed me where I stand,
14:22Justin.
14:23I'm stepping out of the frame, exactly
14:25like you asked."
14:27It sold in 4 days. A cash offer 40,000
14:31over asking, closing in 30 days. My
14:34lawyer, a sensible woman named Dawn
14:36Ford, handled the paperwork, and I
14:38signed everything at her office in a
14:40single morning.
14:42What followed was a performance in three
14:44acts. First came the charm. Caitlyn
14:47suddenly cooked supper. She bought me a
14:49bouquet of grocery store tulips. She
14:52cornered me in the upstairs hall with a
14:54tight smile and a rush of words."Gail,
14:57we know we've taken you for granted. If
14:59we pull the listing, we can sit down and
15:01talk about boundaries. We want you
15:04here."
15:05"The sale is firm, Caitlyn,"I said."My
15:07condo is already secured. Thank you for
15:10the flowers."
15:11Act two was resentment. They spent
15:14evenings tossing things into boxes,
15:16slamming doors, and complaining loudly
15:19about first and last month's rent on a
15:21two-bedroom. I ignored every word of it.
15:24I was busy packing my own life and
15:27leaving behind anything I didn't want to
15:29carry.
15:30There was one more surprise, and Caitlyn
15:32brought it on herself. Three days before
15:35closing, a man from a kitchen design
15:37firm showed up at the door with a rolled
15:40set of drawings and a very awkward
15:42expression. Apparently, Caitlyn had
15:45signed a contract for the main floor
15:47renovation weeks earlier with a
15:49non-refundable deposit of $11,000 and
15:53had given him my address and my plans as
15:56if they were hers. He'd come to confirm
15:58the demolition date.
16:00I let him in, offered him a coffee, and
16:03showed him the sale agreement and the
16:05sign on the lawn. He turned pale,
16:07apologized to me three times, and went
16:09out to his van to call his office.
16:12The deposit, the contract clearly said,
16:15was forfeited if the client lost access
16:17to the property. Caitlyn had paid it on
16:19her credit card. She'd also quietly
16:22promised her parents the Porters
16:24Heritage Room in the new floor plan, and
16:27Ronald had already told half his golf
16:29club about it.
16:31Justin made his last attempt that same
16:33week. He stood in the kitchen doorway
16:36looking small and tired.
16:38"Mom, please. This is tearing the family
16:40apart."
16:42I pressed tape down on a box of
16:43cookbooks."No, Justin. It's reorganizing
16:46the family into its right places. You
16:49and Caitlyn are the core now. I'm the
16:52extended family, and nobody lives with
16:54the extended family."
16:56She had nothing to say to that.
16:58Moving day was a Saturday. Their rented
17:01truck idled in the driveway while they
17:03loaded it in silence.
17:05When it was done, Justin came into the
17:07empty hall and held out his house keys.
17:10"We're heading to the new place.
17:13Drive safely."
17:15He looked around at the bare walls.
17:17Will you come visit? When I'm invited, I
17:20said and smiled.
17:22A month later, I was sitting on the
17:24balcony of my condo with the lake spread
17:26out below me, flat and silver in the
17:28morning light. The place was pristine
17:31and furnished exactly the way I liked
17:33it. No boots in the hall, no one else's
17:36laundry.
17:37The money in my accounts was mine and
17:39nobody's plans.
17:41Justin and Caitlin had landed in a
17:43two-bedroom rental on the east end of
17:46Hamilton. Without my cushion, the
17:49arithmetic of their spending caught up
17:51with them. I knew because on a gray
17:53Thursday in January, my buzzer rang and
17:56when I looked at the little screen by
17:58the door, Caitlin was standing in the
18:00lobby with her collar turned up and her
18:03mouth set in a thin line.
18:05I let her come up. I didn't offer her a
18:07coat hook.
18:08She stood in my sunny living room and
18:11looked at the lake the way she used to
18:13look at my kitchen.
18:14Measuring it. Then, she looked at me.
18:18I'll get straight to it, Gail. That
18:20kitchen company won't release the
18:2111,000. It's on my card at 22%and the
18:26rent on the new place is eating us
18:27alive. My parents can't help. Dad's been
18:31humiliated at the club and Mom says it's
18:33my mess. She swallowed. You just sold a
18:36house for 40 over asking. You could
18:39clear the card without even noticing.
18:41We're family.
18:43Family, I said.
18:45Yes.
18:47The last time I stood in a room with
18:48your family, I was asked to step out of
18:51the picture. I kept my voice level. And
18:54a few weeks after that, you hired a
18:56contractor to tear out my kitchen and
18:58gave him my address. You signed that
19:01contract in my name in my house without
19:04asking me one question. Her cheeks went
19:07red. I never meant for it to go that
19:09far.
19:10You priced my death, Caitlin.
19:12I under my own kitchen window and heard
19:15you do it.
19:16She opened her mouth and nothing came
19:18out. For the first time since I'd known
19:20her, she had no tidy phrase ready. After
19:22a long moment, her chin trembled."I'm
19:25sorry,"she said, so quietly I almost
19:28missed it."I'm sorry, Gail."
19:31"Thank you. I believe you mean it
19:33today."I walked to the door and held it
19:35open.
19:36"But I won't be paying that card
19:39and I won't be co-signing anything. That
19:41debt is the price of the plan you made.
19:44Please don't come here again unless
19:45Justin brings you for a reason I've
19:47chosen."
19:48She walked past me without another word.
19:51I heard the elevator chime and then the
19:53hall was quiet.
19:55I stood there with my hand on the cool
19:57brass handle and I felt no triumph at
19:59all, only a door finally closed the way
20:02it should have been closed a long time
20:04ago.
20:05Justin still came for coffee once a
20:08month. He knocked now instead of walking
20:10in and he asked how I was doing before
20:13he told me what he needed.
20:15On his most recent visit, I noticed
20:17something on his phone case as he set it
20:19down, a tiny printed copy of the
20:21birthday photo. He saw me looking.
20:24"I got it printed at the drugstore,"he
20:26said quietly."Look at it, Mom. There's a
20:29space on the left side. It's the exact
20:31width of a person."I kept staring at
20:34that gap and I finally figured out whose
20:36it was.
20:38I didn't say anything.
20:40"I know Caitlyn came to see you,"she
20:42told me."I'm not asking you to change
20:44your mind."He rubbed his thumb along the
20:47edge of the case."I think I finally see
20:50how much you were caring for us. I was
20:52selfish."
20:53It was the closest thing to a real
20:55apology I'd had from him since he was a
20:57boy. I took it with a nod.
21:00"We all have to grow up sometime,
21:02Justin. Sometimes it takes a change of
21:05scenery."
21:06I walked him to the door, hugged him,
21:08and watched him go down the long
21:10carpeted hall.
21:11Then I locked up and went back inside to
21:13my quiet, bright, wonderful home.
21:17Stepping out of that photograph was the
21:19best decision I ever made because once I
21:22was out of their picture, I finally had
21:24room to paint my own.

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