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My Granddaughter Spat In My Dinner Plate And Said, "Mom Says You Deserve It" — Transcript

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0:00My 10-year-old granddaughter leaned
0:02across the table, spat into my mashed
0:04potatoes, and said, "Mom says you
0:08deserve it."
0:09I was 66 years old, sitting at the head
0:12of the table in the house my late
0:14ex-husband and I paid off in 1998,
0:18and I had just been spit on by a child I
0:21had driven to school for 2 years.
0:24Wherever you're listening from right
0:25now, I'd love to know.
0:28Leave the name of your town in the
0:29comments.
0:31My name is Barbara Crawford. I I lost my
0:34husband Bruce 5 years ago this November.
0:37He left me a paid-off house in a quiet
0:40part of Columbus, Ohio, and a savings
0:43account he had spent 40 years building
0:45one overtime shift at a time.
0:48I believed then that a quiet house was a
0:50peaceful house. I had not yet learned
0:53that quiet can just be the sound of
0:55people taking from you.
0:572 years ago, my daughter Kelly, her
1:00husband Darren, and their daughter
1:02Violet moved into my spare rooms.
1:05"They needed 3 months," Kelly said.
1:07"Just long enough to save a down
1:09payment." 3 months turned into 6, then
1:1312, then 24, and somewhere in there, I
1:17became the cook, the laundress, the
1:19babysitter, and the bank.
1:21That night, I had spent 3 hours on a
1:24roast chicken. I made the mashed
1:26potatoes the way Bruce liked them, with
1:29too much butter and the skins left in. I
1:32set out the good napkins, which I don't
1:35know why I still did.
1:37Kelly sat down without a word and went
1:39straight to her phone.
1:41Darren dropped into his chair
1:43and complained about the traffic on 270
1:46as if a part-time schedule at the tire
1:48warehouse were a battle he had barely
1:51survived.
1:52Violet pushed her green beans around
1:54with her fork.
1:56"Sit up straight, sweetheart, and eat
1:58something," I said. I said it gently. I
2:02have said it gently a hundred times.
2:05Violet stopped poking. She looked at me
2:07with flat, patient eyes.
2:10The way you'd look at a vending machine
2:12that had taken your dollar. Then, she
2:15leaned forward, worked her mouth, and
2:17spat right into the middle of my plate.
2:21The kitchen went still.
2:22I could hear the refrigerator humming.
2:26I looked at Kelly. I waited for the
2:28scolding, the gasp, the Violet, "Ann,
2:31apologize this second." What I got was
2:34Violet smiling, proud of herself, and
2:36then those words, "Mom says you deserve
2:39it."
2:40Kelly pressed her fingers to her lips,
2:42and I saw her shoulders shake.
2:45She was laughing.
2:47Darren chuckled and shook his head, like
2:49the kid had done a card trick.
2:51"Oh, relax, Barbara," he said. "She's
2:54just playing around. Don't be so
2:56sensitive."
2:58I didn't scream. I didn't throw the
3:00plate.
3:01I want to tell you I felt hurt, because
3:04that's what I expected to feel, but
3:06there was nothing there.
3:08What I felt was cold and very clear,
3:11like the moment after you wipe a foggy
3:13window.
3:14I folded my napkin and set it beside the
3:16ruined plate. I stood up, took my keys
3:20off the hook by the back door, and
3:22walked toward the front.
3:24"Where are you going?"
3:26Kelly called, finally looking up from
3:28her phone, irritated. "We're not done
3:31eating."
3:33I didn't answer her.
3:35I walked out of the house I owned and
3:37left them sitting in it.
3:39By the time I turned the key in my
3:41Buick, I already knew what the first
3:44thing was that I was going to do.
3:46I drove until I found a 24-hour diner
3:49off the highway, the kind with a
3:51rotating pie case and a waitress who
3:54calls you hon.
3:56I took the corner booth, ordered black
3:59coffee, and took my tablet out of my
4:01purse.
4:02Then, I did the thing I had avoided for
4:042 years.
4:06I opened the bank accounts and I read
4:08every line.
4:09I didn't cry. I took notes.
4:11It wasn't only the electric bill that
4:13had doubled or the grocery runs that had
4:16somehow become two a week.
4:18It was the lifestyle.
4:20Kelly's car insurance on that big white
4:22SUV was on my auto pay.
4:25Darren's gym membership came out of my
4:27checking. Four phone lines, five
4:30streaming services, Violet's gymnastics
4:32classes at $340 a month.
4:36And the travel meets on top of that.
4:38I had agreed to each one for a reason
4:40that felt small at the time.
4:43Violet needs something to do.
4:45Kelly's job pays so little.
4:48Darren is between things.
4:50To the woman at the next booth who might
4:52wonder how a grown woman lets this
4:54happen, I'll tell you.
4:56It happens one yes at a time.
4:59Every time I brought it up, Kelly would
5:01sigh the way she'd sighed since she was
5:0314 and say,
5:05"Mom, do you want us out on the street?
5:08Do you want Violet in a shelter?"
5:11And I, who was so afraid of being alone
5:13in that big house that I would have paid
5:15almost anything to hear footsteps
5:18upstairs, would back down.
5:21I opened a spreadsheet and added it up
5:23for the last 6 months.
5:25It came to more than I paid for my
5:27Buick.
5:28And then, a few lines below that, I
5:31found something that made my coffee go
5:33cold in my hand.
5:35Three charges to an electronics
5:37retailer, all on the credit card I kept
5:40for emergencies.
5:41One was for $2,900.
5:45Another was a graphics card. I knew the
5:47card number by heart because I had never
5:50given it to anyone.
5:52But I could picture it sitting in the
5:54drawer where I kept the spare keys, the
5:57drawer in the hall that Darren walked
6:00past every day.
6:02They weren't saving for a house.
6:04They were living inside my life and
6:07teaching their daughter to spit on the
6:09woman who paid for it.
6:12The coffee tasted bitter. It matched my
6:14mood perfectly.
6:16I opened my banking settings and started
6:18clicking.
6:19I removed my cards from every digital
6:22wallet on every device in my house.
6:26I canceled the auto pay on Kelly's car
6:28insurance. I logged into each streaming
6:31account and changed the password, then
6:33selected the option to sign out of all
6:35devices. Each click felt like a link of
6:38chain dropping off my shoulders.
6:41I wasn't a victim of their greed, I
6:43thought. I was their enabler. But an
6:46enabler can resign.
6:48My phone buzzed against the table.
6:50Kelly.
6:51You ruined dinner by storming out.
6:54Violet is upset. Don't come back until
6:57you're ready to apologize.
6:59I read it twice. She honestly believed
7:02she was the one with the power.
7:04She had no idea that the floor under her
7:06whole comfortable life had my name on it
7:09in ink at the county recorder's office.
7:13I did not drive home that night.
7:16I checked into a clean plain hotel two
7:18towns over because I knew that if I
7:21drove down my own street and saw the
7:23lights on in my windows, I might walk in
7:26and apologize out of pure habit.
7:29Sitting on the edge of the bed, I opened
7:31the family phone plan. Four lines, all
7:34under my name. Mine, Kelly's, Darren's,
7:37and Violet's tablet.
7:39Three clicks and I suspended all but
7:41mine.
7:42The screen confirmed it. Paused.
7:45Then I picked up my phone and answered
7:47Kelly's text. I typed slowly and I felt
7:50every word.
7:52Don't contact us again.
7:54I know that's not what a woman who owns
7:57a house and a daughter is supposed to
7:59say.
8:00But I had written it from the same place
8:02the napkin got folded.
8:05I pressed send and turned the phone all
8:07the way off.
8:09I slept like a stone. No thumping from
8:12Darren's late-night gaming. No Kelly
8:14knocking at 6:00 to ask if I could watch
8:17Violet while she ran errands.
8:20I pulled the heavy blanket up to my chin
8:22and for the first time in 2 years, I
8:25slept all the way through the night.
8:28In the morning, the sun came through the
8:30curtains. I turned my phone on and it
8:33lit up like a slot machine.
8:35Missed calls.
8:37A pile of texts, most of which had come
8:40through the house Wi-Fi from Kelly's
8:42laptop.
8:43Because with the cell service shut off,
8:46that was the only way they could reach
8:47me.
8:48Mom, my phone isn't working. Did you
8:51forget to pay the bill?
8:53Netflix is down. Fix it.
8:56Mom, where are you? We need groceries
8:58for Violet's lunch.
9:00They thought it was a mistake.
9:02That's the part I almost laughed at.
9:05They thought I was forgetful or old or
9:07confused.
9:09It never crossed their minds that the
9:11Bank of Mom had permanently closed its
9:13doors.
9:15I didn't answer any of them. I showered,
9:17dressed, went down to the lobby, and had
9:20toast and coffee. Then I called my son.
9:24David lives outside Dallas with his wife
9:26and two boys. For 2 years, he told me,
9:29kindly and then less kindly, that Kelly
9:32was using me.
9:33I had told him he didn't understand.
9:36I'd been wrong, and I knew he knew it.
9:39Mom, is everything okay?
9:41I'm fine, honey, I said, but I'm taking
9:44my house back today.
9:46He was quiet for a second, and then I
9:49heard him let out a breath that was half
9:51a laugh.
9:52It's about time. Want me on a plane?
9:55No, I know exactly what to do.
9:58What I knew was this.
10:00I'm not a lawyer, and I was not going to
10:03do something foolish that could land me
10:05in trouble.
10:06Kelly was my daughter,
10:08not a stranger off the street, and the
10:11law gives people who live in your home
10:13certain rights, even when they've
10:15overstayed their welcome by 2 years. So,
10:18after breakfast, I did not run to a
10:20hardware store.
10:22I drove to the office of Gregory Powell,
10:24the attorney who had handled Bruce's
10:26estate.
10:28His secretary squeezed me in before 10.
10:31Gregory listened to the whole thing.
10:34The dinner, the accounts, the credit
10:36card, and he didn't say a word until I
10:38was finished.
10:40Then, he took off his glasses.
10:43Barbara, I want to be sure of one thing.
10:46Did you ever put anything in writing
10:47with them?
10:48A lease, a loan, any kind of agreement?
10:52No, just my word that they could stay.
10:55Then, they're tenants at will, which
10:58means a written 30-day notice to vacate,
11:01delivered properly.
11:03I'll prepare it today.
11:06You do not change the locks while
11:07they're living there, and you do not put
11:10their things on the porch. If you do,
11:12they can turn this around on you, and I
11:14will not let that happen.
11:17He tapped the statements I had printed
11:19in the lobby.
11:20Now, this card.
11:22Did you authorize Darren to use it?
11:24No.
11:26Then, that's not a family disagreement.
11:29That's unauthorized use of a credit
11:31card.
11:32I'd like to give them a chance to make
11:34it right before anyone talks to the
11:36police.
11:37A repayment agreement signed.
11:40Let's see how they respond.
11:43By 1:00, the notice was typed, signed,
11:46and in the hands of a process server.
11:49I had also asked Gregory to to add one
11:51more thing.
11:53An itemized statement of everything I'd
11:54paid for in the last 6 months,
11:57with the total at the bottom.
11:59$22,400,
12:02give or take. I wanted them to see the
12:04number.
12:06I wanted it in black and white, where
12:08nobody could sigh at it.
12:10Around 4:00 that afternoon, I'm told,
12:14Darren answered the door and the man
12:16handed him a certified envelope.
12:19I wasn't there. I was at a hardware
12:21store after all, though not the way I'd
12:24imagined it that morning. I was buying a
12:26keypad lock for the front door to put in
12:29the day they left. And because I am 66
12:33and not a saint, a pack of those thick
12:35black garbage bags I'd planned to use in
12:38a very different way.
12:40I took them home and put them in the
12:42pantry unopened. That was enough.
12:46I stayed with my friend Donna across
12:48town for the next three nights. I could
12:50have gone back to my own house.
12:53The notice was served. The law was on my
12:56side.
12:57But I did not want to hear it and I
13:00didn't want to give anyone the chance to
13:02turn the front hall into a theater.
13:04Donna made me chicken and rice and let
13:07me sit on her porch in a blanket.
13:10On Sunday morning, Kelly did what Kelly
13:12does when she can't get her way
13:14directly. She went online.
13:17Donna's phone buzzed, then mine.
13:21There was Kelly's post on Facebook, long
13:24and tearful, with a photo of Violet
13:26looking wretched.
13:28I never thought my own mother would
13:30throw us out with no warning.
13:32We are sleeping in a cramped room.
13:34Please pray for our family during this
13:36toxic and abusive time. Financial
13:39control is a form of violence.
13:41By lunch, people from my church were
13:44commenting. A cousin from Dayton.
13:47Someone I hadn't heard from since
13:49Bruce's funeral wrote, "Praying for you,
13:51sweet girl."
13:53My sister Janet called and her voice had
13:56its big sister edge. "Barbara, what in
13:59the world are you doing to that poor
14:01child?"
14:02I did not raise my voice.
14:05"Kelly is 41 years old, Janet. She has a
14:08husband. For 2 years they've lived in my
14:11house without paying a dime and out of
14:13my accounts they've been paying for
14:15their their cars and their phones and a
14:17gaming computer.
14:19I stopped paying. That's all I did. If
14:22you feel so terrible for them, I'd love
14:25for you to take them in. Your guest room
14:27is empty.
14:29There was a long silence on the line.
14:32"Well," Janet said finally, "I didn't
14:34know that."
14:36"No one does. Kelly leaves things out.
14:38Have a nice Sunday."
14:40I did not comment on the post. I did not
14:43post my own side.
14:45I blocked Kelly, silenced my phone, and
14:49went to sit in Donna's garden, where the
14:51maple leaves were turning and the whole
14:53world seemed to be going about its
14:55business without me.
14:57The notice was clear. They had 30 days.
15:00I went home on Monday to my own house
15:03while Kelly and Darren were out.
15:05Darren's sedan was gone, and so was the
15:08SUV.
15:09The kitchen sink was stacked with
15:11dishes. Violet's shoes were in the hall.
15:14Darren's muddy sneakers were on Bruce's
15:16good sofa.
15:17And the sight of them nearly set me off
15:20until I remembered that none of it was
15:23mine to clean anymore.
15:25I didn't touch their things. I took my
15:27own things. I moved Bruce's watch, my
15:30mother's ring, and the box of papers
15:33from the study into my closet and locked
15:36the door. Then I went upstairs and
15:39looked at the spare room they'd been
15:40using, the room that was once Kelly's
15:43own bedroom when she was little. And I
15:46decided I would paint it the day they
15:48left.
15:49On the Wednesday of that week, I went to
15:51Kroger for tomatoes.
15:53I was holding one in each hand when a
15:56cart rammed into mine so hard it knocked
15:59the basket against my hip.
16:01It was Kelly. She was gripping the
16:04handle with white knuckles. No makeup.
16:07Hair in a clip. She looked tired in a
16:10way I had not seen since she was a
16:12newborn.
16:13"Are you happy now?" she said, her voice
16:16shaking. "Darren's parents said "We can
16:19stay a week. A week. We need a deposit
16:22for an apartment, Mom. $3,000.
16:25I know you have it."
16:26"I'm not your bank, Kelly."
16:29"You're my mother." She stepped in
16:31closer.
16:32People in the produce aisle had started
16:34to look. "You owe me." "Violet is
16:37miserable." "She asked me if her grandma
16:39hates her."
16:41"Violet spat in my dinner." I said not
16:43loudly, "Because you told her I deserved
16:46it."
16:47"It was a joke." "You blew it out of
16:49proportion." "Because you're a bitter,
16:51lonely old woman."
16:53I did not step back. I did not look
16:56away.
16:57I let that sit between us for a second,
17:00and then I looked down at her arm.
17:02She was carrying a leather handbag
17:05I had bought her for her birthday last
17:07year. $800.
17:10On her wrist was the smart watch I'd
17:11paid for in the spring, glowing with
17:14some alert.
17:15"You need a deposit." I said quietly.
17:18She nodded, and I saw the flicker in her
17:21eyes, the old hopeful look. The one that
17:24says, "The water is about to give.
17:273,000. We'll pay you back."
17:29"Sell the bag."
17:32Her mouth opened.
17:33"Sell the watch. Tell Darren to sell the
17:36computer he bought on my card. You have
17:39plenty of assets, Kelly. Be an adult and
17:42sell them."
17:43She stood frozen in front of the
17:45tomatoes with her mouth half open.
17:48I put my two tomatoes in my basket,
17:51turned my cart around, and walked toward
17:54the checkout.
17:55At the end of the aisle, I heard a woman
17:57say softly, "Good for her." I didn't
18:00turn around, but I held onto that all
18:03the way to my car.
18:04A week before the deadline, I got a text
18:07from Darren, short and stiff, saying
18:10they had hired a moving company for
18:12Saturday morning. I sent back one word,
18:15"Acknowledged."
18:17The truck came at 9:00.
18:19Two men in company shirts and Darren
18:22carrying boxes without a word to me.
18:25I didn't hide in the backyard this time.
18:27I took a kitchen chair out to the front
18:29hall, sat down with a cup of coffee, and
18:32watched. Bruce used to say that if you
18:35want things done properly, you stay and
18:37watch the movers.
18:39And I decided that sounded like good
18:41sense.
18:42It was a good thing I did. I saw the
18:45first of Bruce's tool boxes go out the
18:47door in Darren's arms, the red metal one
18:51with a dent in the corner.
18:53"That's Bruce's," I said.
18:55Darren stopped at the threshold.
18:58"I figured it was just in the garage.
19:01It's been in the garage since 1987.
19:04It isn't yours."
19:06"Barbara, come on.
19:08Put it down."
19:10He looked at the movers who had stopped,
19:13and then at the neighbor, Mrs. Mills,
19:16who was standing on her lawn in her
19:17robe, pretending to water the
19:19hydrangeas.
19:21He set the tool box down.
19:23I made him take the rest of the garage
19:25things out of the truck, one at a time
19:27while I stood with my arms folded.
19:30Two nice drill sets, a leaf blower, a
19:34framed photo of Bruce on a boat. He had
19:37put them in the truck to be safe.
19:39When it was done, I walked through the
19:41house with a clipboard and my phone. I
19:43photographed every room. I noted two
19:46cracked tiles, a hole in the drywall, a
19:49burn on the carpet in Violet's room.
19:52I added a line to my list.
19:54Then Gregory Powell's paperwork came out
19:57of my folder.
19:59I had asked him for it Thursday.
20:01"Darren, Kelly, I'd like you to read
20:04this before you go."
20:06It was a repayment agreement.
20:08$18,000,
20:11which was the part of the 22 I could
20:13prove on paper, payable at $300 a month,
20:17secured by a judgment if they defaulted.
20:20It also included the cost of the
20:22unauthorized charges on my card, written
20:25out line by line, and a clause that said
20:28if the agreement was signed, I would not
20:31file a report.
20:33Darren read it and went gray. Barbara,
20:35we can't pay this.
20:37You paid a lot of things for 2 years
20:40that you couldn't afford.
20:42You'll learn to afford this one.
20:45This is extortion.
20:47No, Darren.
20:48Extortion is when someone takes your
20:50money.
20:51I'm the one who got robbed.
20:53Gregory says this is the generous
20:55version.
20:56You can sign it, or you can explain the
20:58graphics card to a detective. I took a
21:01breath.
21:02Take your time.
21:04The movers are on the clock, though.
21:06Kelly was crying quietly in the front
21:08hall. She had stopped trying to make eye
21:11contact.
21:12She picked up the pen first.
21:15Darren stood a long minute over the
21:17kitchen counter and then signed under
21:19her name, pressing so hard the pen
21:22nearly went through the paper.
21:24I wasn't smiling. I didn't feel
21:26victorious. I felt like a woman closing
21:29a book she should have closed a long
21:31time ago.
21:33By 11:00, the house was empty. The
21:35moving truck pulled away with Darren
21:37behind the wheel of his sedan and Kelly
21:40beside him. Violet had been waiting in
21:42the back seat the entire time.
21:45I had seen her face through the window,
21:47small and pinched.
21:49She looked at me and she didn't spit or
21:51smile or say a thing.
21:54She just looked.
21:55Kelly came back to the doorway alone,
21:58holding her spare house key in her hand.
22:01She laid it on the hall table.
22:03We're done, she said. It's empty.
22:06Thank you.
22:08Are you ever going to talk to us again?
22:10Her voice cracked in the middle.
22:13When you can come into my life as a
22:15guest instead of a creditor, we'll have
22:18coffee, I said.
22:20Until then, work on raising your
22:22daughter better than you treated your
22:24mother.
22:26She flinched like I had slapped her. She
22:28waited, I think, for me to soften and
22:31reach for her, the way I always had.
22:34When I didn't, she turned and walked
22:35out. The new keypad lock beeped behind
22:38her.
22:39The sound was small and satisfying.
22:42I painted the spare room that afternoon.
22:45Bright, clean white, windows open, the
22:48October air coming in sharp and cold.
22:52With every stroke of the roller, I felt
22:54a little more like myself.
22:56That was 6 months ago.
22:59The quiet in my house has changed. It
23:01used to be a held breath.
23:03Now it's light.
23:05I hear the clock in the hall and the
23:07furnace turning on and the neighbor's
23:09dog down the street, and none of it asks
23:12anything of me.
23:14I did not get back the 22,000.
23:17I'll see about 18 of it over 5 years.
23:20$300 a month. The first payment's late
23:23and a little short, and eventually,
23:26because Gregory sent a polite letter
23:29right on time.
23:30The money was never the point. It was
23:32the price of learning something, and I'm
23:3566, so the lesson came expensive.
23:39Kelly's SUV was repossessed in January
23:42because she couldn't make the payments
23:44without my insurance and my cash, and
23:46I'm told she cried in the dealership
23:48parking lot.
23:50Darren went to full-time hours at the
23:52warehouse and then a second job on
23:54weekends.
23:56Kelly learned to cook. They live in a
23:58cramped two-bedroom apartment on the
24:00east side. I'm told the Wi-Fi password
24:03is on the refrigerator and that it is
24:06not mine.
24:08David came up from Texas last month and
24:10stood in the white-painted room that is
24:13now my sewing and reading room
24:16with a quilt in progress on the table.
24:19"You look 10 years younger," he said,
24:21and hugged me so hard my glasses
24:24slipped.
24:25He was right. My blood pressure is down.
24:28I garden, I volunteer at the library on
24:31Tuesdays, and on Fridays I have friends
24:34over for quiet dinners where no one
24:36spits in the food.
24:38I see Kelly once a month at a coffee
24:40shop halfway between us.
24:42Our talks are short and mostly about the
24:45weather.
24:46She doesn't ask for money anymore
24:48because she knows the answer before the
24:50question leaves her mouth.
24:52Violet hasn't come.
24:54Kelly says she's adjusting. Last month
24:56though, a white envelope came in my
24:58mailbox, no return address, and inside
25:02was a card with a drawing of a roast
25:03chicken in crayon and four words in a
25:06child's crooked handwriting.
25:09I'm sorry, Grandma. V.
25:12I don't know who made her write it.
25:14I've decided I don't need to know.
25:16I put it on the refrigerator.
25:19I'm not angry anymore.
25:21Anger takes energy and I'd rather spend
25:23mine on my garden.
25:25What I learned, I learned the hard way.
25:28Blood is not a guarantee of respect and
25:30love should never be a blank check.
25:33Tonight I made a small roast chicken and
25:36a bowl of mashed potatoes with too much
25:38butter and the skins left in.
25:41I set the table for one,
25:43poured a glass of white wine, and ate
25:45while it was hot in perfect peace.
25:48The house was quiet and the doors were
25:51locked and the only keys in the world
25:54were in my pocket.
25:56Helping the ones we love is one of the
25:58most natural things in the world
26:01and it is never easy to know where it
26:03should stop.
26:04Where do you draw the line between
26:06helping a grown child and being treated
26:10like a bank?

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