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My Daughter-in-Law Said I Wasn't the Right Vibe for Christmas Eve, So I Canceled the...| Steel St... — Transcript

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0:00I am Darlene Hughes. I am 67 years old
0:03and for 6 years I paid $3,800
0:06every month toward my son's mortgage
0:08without telling a soul. On Christmas Eve
0:10I stood on the porch of that house
0:12holding a box of gifts while my
0:14daughter-in-law pulled the door shut in
0:16my face and told me I would bring down
0:18the room.
0:20It was 9° out, the kind of cold that
0:22gets into your teeth.
0:24I had parked my Buick at the far end of
0:26the cul-de-sac because the driveway and
0:28both sides of the street were full of
0:30Audis and Range Rovers and I remember
0:31thinking, well, somebody's doing well.
0:34Then I walked up the path past the river
0:36rock planters and the heated front steps
0:38and the boxwoods and I realized I had
0:41written the checks for most of it.
0:43Before we get into it, tell me where
0:45you're tuning in from. It means a lot to
0:47know who's keeping me company.
0:49My son Shawn and his wife Wendy bought
0:51that house in Dublin, Ohio 6 years ago.
0:54Four bedrooms, a three-car garage, a
0:56kitchen with two dishwashers, which
0:58tells you what kind of people live
1:00there. Shawn was a financial advisor at
1:02Reed Partners then and is still, as far
1:04as I know, drawing a salary there as of
1:06that night. He did not qualify for the
1:09loan on his own. The bank looked at his
1:11income, his car payments, and the credit
1:13card balances he thought I didn't know
1:14about and they said no.
1:17So I said yes. I put down $140,000
1:20from the sale of my late husband Ralph's
1:22machine shop and I set up an automatic
1:24transfer on the first of every month.
1:27Ralph would have wanted our boy to have
1:28a good start, I told myself. I thought
1:31it was a gift. I did not know it was a
1:33subscription.
1:34I spent 34 years as a claims
1:36investigator for an insurance company,
1:39the kind of person they send when a fire
1:40looks too convenient or a back injury is
1:43too well-timed.
1:45I know how people lie. I know what they
1:47do with their hands when they do it and
1:49for 6 years I did not apply a single
1:50minute of that skill to my own family
1:53because it was my family.
1:55That night I carried a heavy shopping
1:56box up those steps, cashmere scarves, a
2:00bottle of the bourbon Shawn likes, a
2:01leather wallet for him with his initials
2:03stamped inside, and a set of crystal
2:05wine glasses Wendy had pointed at in a
2:08catalog back in October and said,
2:10"Offhand, those are so us." I had
2:12wrapped everything in the heavy gold
2:14paper with a cloth ribbon. Shawn had
2:16called me in November and said, "Mom,
2:18you're coming Christmas Eve, right?
2:207:00, bring your appetite." I had it in
2:22my calendar. I had a pie in the car.
2:25Through the front window, I could see
2:27candlelight and a glittering tree and a
2:29man laughing with his head thrown back.
2:32Jazz came through the glass, low and
2:33polished. I rang the bell with my elbow.
2:37Wendy opened it, wearing a green satin
2:39dress and holding a champagne flute.
2:42There was a half second where her face
2:43did something honest. Shock, then
2:46annoyance, the look you give a delivery
2:48you didn't order. Then she stepped out
2:50onto the porch and pulled the door shut
2:52behind her until only a sliver of yellow
2:54light fell across the boards.
2:57"Darleen," she said. She has never once
2:59called me Mom, and for 6 years I let
3:01that go. What are you doing here?"
3:03"It's Christmas Eve," I said. "Shawn
3:05invited me. I brought gifts."
3:07She exhaled and her breath hung in the
3:09cold. "We're hosting tonight. Shawn's
3:12managing partner is here. Two couples
3:14who are thinking about moving their
3:16portfolios to him. It's a business
3:18dinner."
3:19"Shawn said 7:00."
3:21"Shawn forgot to tell you we changed
3:23things." She sipped her champagne and
3:25let her eyes travel down my good wool
3:27coat, my winter boots, the scarf I'd
3:30knitted myself. Look, I'll be honest
3:32because I think you'd prefer it. You're
3:34not really the vibe tonight. These are
3:36polished people. You'd be telling
3:38stories about claims adjusters and fire
3:40investigations, and you'd ask if anyone
3:42wanted more pie. It would be awkward,
3:44for Shawn mostly."
3:46I want to be exact about this. I did not
3:49feel anger yet. What I felt was
3:51something closer to the sensation of
3:52putting your foot on a stair that isn't
3:54there.
3:55"You don't want me at my son's Christmas
3:57Eve table," I said, "because I'm not the
3:59right vibe."
4:01"Don't take it personally." She smiled,
4:03the thin, patient smile you give a
4:05child. "It's business. We'll do lunch in
4:07January. Just leave the box by the door
4:10and I'll have the caterer bring it in."
4:12That was when I looked past her through
4:14the gap.
4:15Sean stood in the hall, maybe 15 ft
4:17away, a glass of scotch in his hand, his
4:20good navy suit, the one I'd paid to have
4:22tailored. He was looking straight at me.
4:24He had heard every word. I know he had
4:27because the foyer has a vaulted ceiling
4:29and Wendy doesn't whisper well.
4:31I waited. People who haven't been in
4:33that spot will tell you what they would
4:35have done and they're wrong because you
4:37don't think about anything. You just
4:39wait for your child to be your child.
4:42I waited for him to put the glass down.
4:44I waited for the door to open. I waited
4:46through 40 years of nights I'd sat up
4:48with him, the fevers, the Little League,
4:51the time I drove 4 hours to bring him a
4:53forgotten calculator for his final exam.
4:56Sean looked at me for what felt like a
4:58full minute and was probably 3 seconds.
5:01Then he turned, walked into the kitchen,
5:03and became part of the party.
5:05Something in me closed, not a slam, more
5:08like a drawer sliding shut on a
5:09well-made cabinet.
5:11I bent down. I did not put the box on
5:13the mat. I took it back into my arms and
5:15straightened up. "You're right, Wendy,"
5:17I said, "it is just business. Have a
5:19lovely night."
5:20The smile on her face wavered for the
5:22first time.
5:23She had expected to leave me with the
5:25box. A woman who walks away with the
5:27gifts is a woman who isn't finished.
5:30I walked back down that driveway past
5:32the Audis with my spine straight. In the
5:34car, I set the box on the passenger seat
5:36and turned the heater up and my hands
5:38didn't shake.
5:40I drove the 18 miles home to the small
5:42brick ranch Ralph and I paid off in
5:441998, the one with my name alone on the
5:46deed, and a crooked mailbox he always
5:48meant to fix.
5:50I put the pie in the refrigerator. I
5:52hung up my coat and then I went into the
5:54spare bedroom where I keep the desk and
5:56turned on the lamp.
5:58Some people drink when they get hurt. I
6:00audit.
6:01The first thing on the screen was the
6:02standing transfer, $3,800
6:05on the first of every month to the
6:07servicer on that house.
6:09Set up a December of 2018, 73 payments,
6:12no break, not once. Next to it, the
6:15second line I had given him 2 years
6:17back, $600 a month for the kids fund,
6:20except there were no kids and no fund. I
6:22thought about that.
6:24Then I clicked cancel on both and
6:26watched the confirmation banner roll
6:28across the screen.
6:29The credit card was next. A few years
6:31ago, Shawn had told me it would be
6:33easier if he were an authorized user on
6:35my card for emergencies. I had agreed.
6:38That evening, I scrolled the last
6:40billing cycle and saw $11,000 in
6:42charges, including a catering company, a
6:44wine merchant, and a florist, all dated
6:47within the last week. He had thrown his
6:49Christmas party on my credit. I called
6:51the number on the back, told them the
6:53card was compromised, and had his access
6:55terminated before the hold music
6:57finished its first loop.
7:00Then there was the money market account,
7:01$35,000,
7:03set up as Shawn's cushion, which he'd
7:05had signing access to since his father
7:07died. I moved it to a new account in my
7:09name alone. By 10:30, it was done.
7:13I did not cry. I made a cup of tea and
7:15opened the box of gifts on the kitchen
7:17table and sat for a while. The wallet
7:19was beautiful. I thought about the
7:21engraving, SRH, Shawn Ralph Hughes, and
7:23I put it in the drawer where Ralph's
7:25watch is. The scarves I decided I would
7:27give away. The crystal glasses I wrapped
7:30up again and set by the door for the
7:32women's shelter on Maple Street because
7:34somebody ought to drink out of them.
7:37I slept better than I had in 6 years.
7:39On the 26th, I slept until 8:00. I found
7:42the phone on the counter, face down,
7:44buzzing across the laminate like an
7:46insect. When I turned it over, the
7:47screen said 20 missed calls, 12 from
7:50Shawn, six from Wendy, two from a number
7:53I didn't recognize.
7:54There were also text messages, a whole
7:56stack of them, getting shorter and more
7:58frantic as they went. Why is my card
8:00declined? The auto payment got canceled.
8:02Call me. Mom, this is serious. Mom, pick
8:05up.
8:06I made coffee and watched the snow fall
8:08on the neighbor's roof. I did not call
8:10back.
8:11They were at my door by 10:00.
8:14Both of them in the driveway, doors of
8:15their leased Lexus still open. Wendy had
8:18her sunglasses pushed up on top of her
8:20head and a face the color of raw ham.
8:22Sean hadn't shaved. I opened the door,
8:24but I kept the storm door latched
8:26between us.
8:27"Our card got declined at brunch," Wendy
8:29said, "in front of Sean's partner. Do
8:32you have any idea how humiliating that
8:34was?"
8:35"I have some idea," I said.
8:37"And the mortgage transfer got
8:38canceled," Sean said, his voice was
8:40cracking. "The servicer's portal flagged
8:43it. Mom, you have to fix this.
8:45Whatever's going on with the bank, call
8:47them and fix it."
8:49"There's nothing wrong with the bank. I
8:50canceled it."
8:52They looked at me the way people look at
8:54a dog that has just spoken. Then Sean
8:56started to say it was a
8:57misunderstanding, and Wendy started to
8:59say I couldn't do that, and I said, in
9:02the voice I used to use on claimants who
9:04thought they could argue a denial, "On
9:06Christmas Eve, your wife told me I
9:08wasn't the right vibe for the party I
9:10helped pay for. You stood in the hall
9:12and watched. I've simply taken her at
9:14her word. The money isn't the right vibe
9:16for you, either."
9:18"You are being vindictive," Wendy said.
9:21"I'm being consistent."
9:23Sean changed tactics. He always does.
9:25His eyes filled. "Mom, we're underwater.
9:28You know how things are. If we miss two
9:30payments, the bank starts the clock. We
9:32could lose the house. You can't just do
9:34that to your family."
9:36"I watched my family close the door," I
9:37said. "I just stopped paying for it."
9:40That was when Wendy leaned in so close
9:42that her breath fogged the glass. "You
9:45have until Friday," she said quietly.
9:47"You put it all back, the transfers and
9:49the cards and the account, or you will
9:51regret it. You have no idea what we can
9:53do."
9:54"I think I have some idea," I said, and
9:56closed the door.
9:57I stood in my hallway until their car
9:59was gone. My legs shook then, not from
10:02fear, from the effort of staying still.
10:04I'll tell you what a good investigator
10:06knows. When somebody says, "You have no
10:09idea what we can do." They've already
10:11done something.
10:12Four days later, on the 30th, I was
10:14shoveling the walk when my phone rang.
10:17"Probate Court, Franklin County." the
10:19woman said. She was calling to confirm
10:21that I had received service of the
10:23petition.
10:24"What petition?"
10:26There was a pause. She sounded young.
10:28"The petition for guardianship, ma'am."
10:31"Filed December 27th by Shawn R. Hughes,
10:33alleging that Darlene Hughes is
10:35incapacitated. There's a hearing on
10:37January 9th. I'm sorry, I thought you'd
10:39been served. Did someone not come by?"
10:42I thanked her and hung up. Then I leaned
10:45the shovel against the fence and stood
10:46in the snow with my face going numb.
10:49The text arrived while I was standing
10:51there. Shawn, of course.
10:53"Mom, it didn't have to come to this. We
10:55have a letter from a doctor. If you
10:57restore the accounts and sign the house
10:59over to us for safekeeping, we'll
11:00withdraw it. Otherwise, the judge
11:02decides who manages your money. We just
11:05want you protected."
11:06"Protected." I read it three times.
11:09Under the cold, something very old and
11:11very steady woke up in me. The thing
11:13that had gotten up at 4:00 a.m. for 34
11:15years to stand in the ashes of other
11:17people's lies and find the match.
11:19I did not panic, and I want that on the
11:21record, because people assume an old
11:23woman gets a letter like that and falls
11:25apart. I had a spare key to a safe
11:27deposit box, a lawyer I trusted, and 10
11:29days.
11:31My lawyer was Glenn Daniels, who had
11:33handled Ralph's estate, and who had been
11:35practicing probate law since before
11:37Shawn learned to drive. I called him
11:39from the kitchen. He listened without
11:41interrupting, and when I finished, he
11:42said, "Darlene, I want you to do three
11:45things. Don't answer another text. Don't
11:48delete anything, and come see me in an
11:50hour."
11:51By 2:00, I was sitting in his conference
11:53room with the petition in front of me.
11:55It was nine pages long. It claimed I had
11:58been forgetful, confused about money,
12:00that I'd made irrational financial
12:02decisions, and abruptly terminated
12:04support to dependents.
12:06It attached a letter from a physician
12:08named Dr. Craig Patterson, who stated
12:10that on December 23rd, he had observed
12:12me and found me suffering from moderate
12:15to severe cognitive impairment with
12:17impaired judgment.
12:19"December 23rd," I said, "I've never met
12:21a Dr. Craig Patterson. I was at the
12:23grocery store on the 23rd."
12:26Glenn smiled for the first time all
12:27afternoon.
12:29"I thought you might say something like
12:30that."
12:31Now, here is the part the comment
12:33section on a story like this always gets
12:35wrong. People think you win by acting. I
12:38did not act. I did not pretend to be
12:39anything. I walked into that hospital's
12:42geriatric clinic 2 days later on my own
12:45and asked for a full cognitive
12:46assessment with a neurologist who had
12:48never heard of Sean Hughes. 3 hours,
12:51clock drawings, memory recall, a number
12:53sequence I could do in my sleep, and a
12:55lot of questions about my finances that
12:57I answered better than the young
12:58resident asking them.
13:00At the end, the neurologist, a tired and
13:02kindly man named Dr. Simpson, signed his
13:05report and said, "Mrs. Hughes, I'd be
13:07happy to testify to this in court. I
13:09wish half my patients were as sharp."
13:12The second thing I did was call Janet
13:14Murray.
13:15Janet and I started at the insurance
13:17company together in 1987.
13:19She went on to the state attorney
13:21general's office, financial crimes,
13:23and she's been a detective with the
13:25county's elder fraud unit for the last 9
13:27years.
13:28We have had Thanksgiving dinner together
13:30more times than I have had it with my
13:32own son. I told her everything over the
13:34phone and then I said, "I don't want him
13:37stopped. I want him caught."
13:39She didn't answer right away.
13:41"Darlene, they're going to come to you,"
13:43she said at last. "People like this
13:45never stop at a petition. They'll try to
13:48close it quick before the hearing
13:49because they know a judge isn't going to
13:51buy a letter from a doctor who never saw
13:53you. They'll need your signature on
13:55something. A deed, a power of attorney,
13:57an admission to a facility.
14:00Then I'll invite them over."
14:02"Not as a trap. You can't solicit a
14:04crime."
14:05"I won't solicit anything. I'll say I
14:07want to talk. What they do when they
14:09walk into my kitchen is theirs."
14:11She thought about it. Ohio's a one-party
14:14consent state. If you're in the
14:16conversation, you can record it. Glenn
14:18can sit in the next room. I'll be down
14:20the block with a team in case anything
14:22goes wrong. And Darlene, don't coach
14:24them. Don't suggest a thing.
14:26So, that's what I did. I texted Shawn
14:28that night. I'm frightened, I wrote. I
14:31don't want to go to court. Can you and
14:33Wendy come Thursday afternoon so we can
14:34talk it through just us? I'll make
14:36coffee.
14:37He answered in under a minute. Of
14:39course, Mom. We love you. We'll be there
14:41at 2:00.
14:42Thursday dawned gray and bitter. I put
14:45on my plain navy slacks and my gray
14:46cardigan and pinned up my hair the way I
14:49always do.
14:50I set out a plate of the shortbread I'd
14:51baked the day before, a blue pot of
14:53coffee, four cups. Glenn arrived at noon
14:56quietly through the back door with a
14:58thermos and a legal pad. A technician
15:00from Janet's office installed two small
15:02recorders, one in the kitchen's wall
15:04clock, one in the bookshelf, and then
15:06left as quietly as he'd come.
15:08I was surprised how ordinary it all
15:10felt, like waiting for a furnace
15:12repairman.
15:13At 2:05, a gray Lexus pulled into the
15:16drive. Wendy got out first in white wool
15:18with a leather folder under her arm.
15:20Shawn followed. And behind them came a
15:22third person, a slim man in his 50s with
15:25a silver tie and a medical bag who
15:27looked at my house and my lawn and my
15:29crooked mailbox the way a buyer looks at
15:31a used car.
15:32"This is Dr. Patterson," Wendy said
15:34brightly when I opened the door. "He's a
15:36friend of the family. He's here just to
15:38chat."
15:40"Of course," I said. "Come in."
15:42I led them to the kitchen table. I
15:44poured the coffee. The doctor sat across
15:47from me and began in a gentle voice
15:48asking me what day it was. I told him
15:51the month, the year, the name of the
15:52governor, the weather. He asked me to
15:54count backward from 100 by sevens, and I
15:57did. And I did it at a pace that I could
15:59see made him uneasy.
16:01"You're very sharp today," he said.
16:03"I'm sharp most days, Doctor."
16:06Wendy interrupted. "Doctor, she's
16:08compensating. That's the thing with
16:10early dementia. They can fool you for 20
16:12minutes." She slid the leather folder
16:14across the table.
16:16"Shawn and I think it would be easiest
16:18if you just sign these and nobody has to
16:20go to court. It's a power of attorney
16:22and a deed transferred to a family trust
16:25for the house. Nothing changes
16:27day-to-day. You just have the right
16:28people looking after things.
16:30And if I don't sign?
16:32Then the doctor's letter goes to the
16:34judge on Monday, Sean said, not looking
16:36at me. And I'm sorry, Mom, but it's
16:38going to be a lot worse.
16:40And after the house is in the trust, I
16:42asked mildly.
16:44We'll sell, Wendy said. She was relaxed
16:46now, her shoulders down, her voice
16:49slipping into the casual tone of someone
16:51discussing a vacation. Honestly, it's a
16:53fair house, but it's got value. The lot
16:55alone is worth 350. You'll go to a place
16:58we've picked out in Westerville. It's
16:59very nice. They have a memory care wing
17:02and once you're settled the doctor signs
17:04the admission form.
17:05We've already put down a deposit. Sean
17:08used your old card number, so it's
17:10technically your money.
17:12I want you to picture it. A kitchen that
17:14smells of coffee and shortbread. Ralph's
17:16clock on the wall. A woman in a gray
17:18cardigan at the end of the table, hands
17:20folded.
17:21I see, I said. And Dr. Patterson, what
17:24were you paid to write that letter dated
17:26the 23rd?
17:27The doctor's face did something
17:29complicated. I'm sorry.
17:31You wrote that you evaluated me on
17:32December 23rd. I've never seen you until
17:35today. How much?
17:37He opened his mouth, closed it and
17:39looked at Wendy. Wendy laughed, a high
17:41thin sound. Doctor, you see? She's
17:44inventing things. You see what we mean.
17:464,000, Sean said quietly.
17:49Everybody turned to look at him. He had
17:51gone the color of paper. I think it was
17:53the first honest thing he'd said in 6
17:55years and he'd said it to himself more
17:57than to us.
17:58Sean, Wendy hissed.
18:00It's $4,000, Mom, and a promise of more.
18:04It was only supposed to be a letter. It
18:05was only supposed to scare you.
18:08That's enough, the doctor said standing.
18:10And he had the sense to look at the
18:12walls then. His eyes landed on the
18:14clock. I watched him do the math and I
18:16watched him decide it was too late to
18:18run. He started anyway. He got as far as
18:21the hall before Janet Murray stepped
18:22through my front door with two uniform
18:24deputies and said in the calm voice of a
18:27woman announcing a train,
18:29"Dr. Patterson, I'm Detective Murray
18:31with the Franklin County Sheriff's
18:32Office. I'd like you to stay right
18:34there."
18:35Glenn walked in from the den with his
18:37legal pad.
18:38"Sean Hughes and Wendy Hughes," Janet
18:41said, "you're being placed under arrest
18:43for attempted theft by deception,
18:45forgery, attempted unlawful restraint of
18:47an elderly person and conspiracy. You
18:50have the right to remain silent."
18:52Wendy screamed. That's the only word for
18:54it. She called me a liar, a controlling
18:57bitter old woman, a monster who'd set
18:59them up. She said I'd lured them. She
19:01invited us, she kept saying. She invited
19:03us. Janet told her gently that being
19:06invited to a kitchen is not the same as
19:08being asked to commit a felony in it and
19:10that the recording would speak for
19:11itself.
19:13Sean didn't scream. He stood in my
19:15kitchen with his hands behind his back
19:17and tears running down his face and he
19:18said, "Mom, Mom, please, I'm your son."
19:22I looked at him for a long moment. I
19:24wanted to feel something large, rage or
19:26the old ache, one or the other. What I
19:28felt was quiet and sad and clear, like a
19:31house after the movers have gone.
19:33"You were my son on Christmas Eve, too,"
19:35I said. "You watched me stand in the
19:37cold."
19:38They took them out through the front
19:39door and down the walk past the crooked
19:41mailbox and the whole street watched
19:44from behind its curtains.
19:46I stood on my porch in my cardigan with
19:48the deputy's patrol car idling at the
19:50curb and I did not look away.
19:52It's been 8 months. People ask if I
19:55regret it. I tell them what I told the
19:57judge at sentencing, which is that I
19:58regret 6 years of not looking at my own
20:01ledger.
20:02The Franklin County prosecutor had the
20:04recordings, the bank records, the false
20:06letter, the deposit for the care
20:08facility, and Sean's own statement,
20:10which he gave without a lawyer present
20:12and which he has since come to regret.
20:14Dr. Patterson took a plea. He
20:16surrendered his medical license in March
20:19and was sentenced to 18 months for his
20:21part in the scheme.
20:23Three other families have since come
20:24forward with similar letters, and one of
20:27those cases is still open.
20:29Sean pleaded guilty to attempted theft
20:31and forgery. He got 24 months in a state
20:34facility in Marion. Wendy, who went to
20:36trial and lost, got 3 years. The judge
20:39said her recorded words on the day of
20:41arrest, particularly the comment about
20:43the lot alone worth 350, showed what he
20:46called a calculated indifference to the
20:48life of a woman who had given them
20:50everything.
20:51They lost the house in April. The bank
20:53was patient for exactly as long as its
20:55policy required, and then it was not.
20:58Reed Partners terminated Sean the day of
21:00his arrest. I'm told the Lexus went back
21:02to the dealer on a flatbed. The caterer,
21:05the wine merchant, and the florist are
21:07still waiting on payments the card never
21:09covered.
21:10I did not sit in the courtroom and
21:12gloat.
21:13I sat in the second row with my purse on
21:15my lap, and when they brought Sean in
21:17wearing the county's orange, I let
21:18myself look at him just once.
21:21He looked older. He looked a little like
21:23Ralph.
21:24Spring came. I fixed the mailbox myself
21:27with a level and a bag of concrete.
21:29Janet helped. I took a trip I'd been
21:31putting off for 20 years, a week in
21:33Savannah alone, where I walked the
21:35squares in the morning and ate shrimp
21:37and grits at a counter, and nobody asked
21:39me for anything.
21:40The women at the shelter on Maple Street
21:42use the crystal wine glasses for their
21:44holiday dinner now. I like to think of
21:46that.
21:47The $3,800
21:49I used to send on the first of the month
21:51goes into an account that's all mine,
21:53and it's growing.
21:55Last week, I bought a ticket to Ireland
21:57for September.
21:58I still bake a pie on Christmas Eve.
22:01This year, I'll take it to Janet's
22:02house, where there will be a table and a
22:04fire and a place set for me.
22:06Giving to the people we love is one of
22:08life's quiet joys, but it hurts when
22:11that giving is met with a closed door.
22:13Have you ever helped pay for a family
22:15celebration and still been shut out of
22:17it?

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