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My Daughter-in-Law Begged Me to Buy Their Lake House, Then Her Mother Changed the Locks on Me — Transcript

by Inner Tales · 4,338 words · 667 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00The phone rang at 10:00 past midnight,
0:02and when I heard my daughter-in-law
0:03sobbing on the other end, I was sure
0:05someone had died.
0:07"Paula, please," Caitlin said. "You have
0:09to save us. We're going to lose the lake
0:11house."
0:12I was 64 years old and sitting up in bed
0:14in my bungalow in Newmarket, Ontario,
0:16with the lamp half on. I had no idea
0:19that a little over 3 weeks after I said
0:21yes, I would learn exactly what my
0:22generosity was worth to them.
0:24Before the rest of this story, tell me
0:26your town in the comments. I read them
0:28all.
0:29My son Trevor came on the line next. His
0:32voice was thin and fast. They had found
0:34a place in Buckhorn, on Buckhorn Lake in
0:36the Kawarthas, a four-bedroom with a
0:38dock and a stone fireplace. They had put
0:40a $40,000 deposit on it. Then the lender
0:43pulled the mortgage approval at the last
0:45minute. Something about Trevor's
0:46contract status changing at work and the
0:49stress test coming out the wrong way.
0:51Closing was 3 weeks off. If they
0:53couldn't close, the deposit was gone.
0:55Caitlin got back on and said it between
0:57hiccups. Their dream, the kids' summers,
1:00Mia and Asher on that dock. If I could
1:02just buy it, they would live in it, pay
1:04me rent, and when their finances
1:06settled, they would buy it back from me.
1:08I should tell you who I am because it
1:10matters. I spent 31 years as a building
1:12inspector for the town of Newmarket. I
1:15read drawings for a living, and I
1:16crawled through more attics and crawl
1:18spaces than I could count.
1:20After my husband Phil died, I lived
1:22carefully. I'm not a woman who wires
1:24money at midnight.
1:25But I said I would think about it, and I
1:27did, in the dark, with Phil's side of
1:28the bed cold beside me. By morning, I
1:31had talked myself into it. It was my son
1:33and my grandchildren. It was a house,
1:35and a house is an asset. I would hold
1:37the title, they would pay rent to cover
1:38the property taxes, insurance, and
1:40upkeep, and nobody would be hurt. The
1:43purchase price was $689,000.
1:46I cashed out most of my GICs and sold a
1:49good chunk of my investments, and I
1:50wrote the lawyer a certified check for
1:52the balance. Laura Boyd, my lawyer of 20
1:55years, asked me twice if I was sure. She
1:57asked me to put the arrangement in
1:59writing with a proper lease before they
2:00moved in.
2:01I said we'd do that after closing since
2:04the family was in such a rush.
2:06That was my first mistake and I'll own
2:08it.
2:09Before I signed, I did the walk-through
2:10myself. Old habits. In the main floor, I
2:13noticed the wall between the kitchen and
2:15the living room. It was only a partition
2:17on the face of it with a pretty arched
2:19opening, but there was a doubled header
2:21above that opening and a post in the
2:23basement directly below it lined up like
2:25a bone. It was carrying the roof ridge.
2:27I remember patting it and thinking,
2:29"Good bones." I told no one because no
2:31one asked.
2:33The title cleared on a Friday. The
2:35lawyer's office handed me the keys in an
2:36envelope and I drove home feeling
2:38something close to peace. I had given my
2:40son's family a foundation.
2:42The next afternoon, I drove back to
2:44Buckhorn with my tool bag in the trunk.
2:46I wanted to check the water heater and
2:48look at the shut-off valves. It was a
2:5075-minute drive up Highway 35 with the
2:53radio low. A silver sedan sat in the
2:55best spot on the gravel nosed up against
2:57the porch.
2:58I climbed the steps, took out my key
3:00ring, and slid the brass key into the
3:02front deadbolt. It wouldn't turn. I
3:04tried it again and jiggled it. This This
3:07seller's brand new and I could see the
3:08shine on the faceplate.
3:10Before I could work out what I was
3:11looking at, the door opened and
3:13Caitlin's mother stood there. Darlene
3:16was in a cream cardigan with her reading
3:17glasses pushed up into her hair and she
3:20was turning a ring of shiny silver keys
3:22around one finger.
3:23She didn't say hello. She didn't ask me
3:26in. She told me the locks had been
3:27changed that morning for security.
3:30"Whose security?" I said, "I own this
3:31house."
3:32Caitlin came out of the kitchen holding
3:34a stack of flattened boxes. She gave me
3:36that small tight smile I had seen at
3:38Christmas dinners when she wanted
3:40something. "Paula, you don't need a
3:42key," she said. "Mom's managing the
3:44decorating and the contractors. She
3:46needs access. Too many keys just create
3:48confusion, so she has the only spare."
3:51The only spare. To a house I had bought
3:53with my own savings one day before.
3:55Trevor came down the hall behind her. He
3:57wouldn't meet my eyes.
3:59He rubbed the back of his neck the way
4:01he did at 9 years old when he'd broken
4:03something.
4:04"It makes sense for now, Mom," he
4:06mumbled. "You're an hour and a quarter
4:07away, anyway. You don't really need
4:09one."
4:10I felt something go cold in my chest,
4:12like a fresh draft in a closed room. I
4:14did not raise my voice. I did not put
4:16down my tool bag. I looked at Caitlin
4:18and asked, pleasantly, whether her
4:20mother would also be handling the
4:22property tax bill when it arrived from
4:24the municipality of Trent Lakes.
4:26Caitlin laughed as though I'd made a
4:27joke. I nodded, turned around, and
4:29walked back to my car.
4:31It's a funny thing, what you notice when
4:33you're hurt and refuse to show it. I
4:35noticed the gravel under my shoes.
4:37I noticed a red-winged blackbird on the
4:39dock post. I noticed that I was gripping
4:41the steering wheel so hard my knuckles
4:43had gone white.
4:45I drove with the radio off. Somewhere
4:47around Sutton, I thought of Phil, who
4:48used to say that a house doesn't fall
4:50down all at once. It fails at one small
4:53joint, quietly, long before anyone
4:54notices. I was not angry yet. I was
4:57doing what I had done for 31 years,
4:59which was reading the building.
5:01On Monday, I did not call Trevor to
5:02complain about the key. I called Laura
5:04Boyd and was in her office by 10:00.
5:07Laura listened to the whole story with
5:08her pen still.
5:10Then she told me what I didn't want to
5:11hear. I should have had a lease signed
5:13before closing. I had no paper at all.
5:16But I was the registered owner, and that
5:18was a very strong place to stand.
5:20"Don't show all your cards," she said.
5:22"Let's put this on paper first. A proper
5:24written lease on the standard Ontario
5:26form at a fair rent.
5:28And before anyone lives in that house
5:29another day, call your insurer."
5:32I had forgotten about the insurance. I
5:34phoned my broker at White Insurance from
5:36her boardroom. He confirmed what I half
5:38knew. A policy on a rented property
5:40assumes a landlord who has access and a
5:42building with no unpermitted structural
5:44work. Structural changes without a
5:46permit and a coverage claim could be
5:48refused.
5:49I had planned to charge my son's family
5:51just enough to cover taxes, insurance,
5:53and upkeep. Laura worked out what that
5:55figure was, and then what a lakefront
5:57four-bedroom in the Kawarthas actually
5:59rents for.
6:01The difference was nearly $2,000 a
6:03month. She drafted the lease at market
6:05rent.
6:06That evening, Trevor came by the house
6:07alone. He said he was dropping off my
6:09mail, which he had picked up from my
6:11porch last weekend.
6:13He sat at my kitchen island turning a
6:15glass of iced tea in circles, and I slid
6:17the lease across the counter without a
6:18word.
6:20His eyes went wide when he got to the
6:21monthly figure.
6:23"Mom," Caitlyn thought, "we were hoping
6:24to be close to rent-free for a while to
6:26save for the down payment."
6:28"Property costs money, Trevor," I said.
6:31"Taxes, insurance, a roof, furnace. I
6:33paid $689,000
6:35for that house."
6:37"Family shouldn't be a business."
6:39"Changing the locks on your landlord was
6:41a business decision," I said. "I didn't
6:43make it."
6:44He tried to defend Caitlyn, said she
6:46only wanted her mother to to feel useful
6:48after the move from Burlington.
6:50Darlene had sold her condo, and she was
6:52lonely, he said, and Caitlyn was trying
6:54to be kind. I let him finish. Then I
6:56told him the signed lease was due to
6:58Laura's office by Friday evening. If it
7:00wasn't, I would hand the property to a
7:02leasing agent. He left holding the pages
7:05like they weighed something. I stood at
7:06the window and watched his taillights go
7:08down the street, and I hurt for him.
7:11But I was no longer confused.
7:133 days later, I drove up to Buckhorn
7:15without telling anyone. I parked by the
7:17public boat launch a few hundred meters
7:19down the road and walked in along the
7:21tree line.
7:22Habit, I suppose. I wanted to see the
7:24foundation walls, the grading, the
7:26drainage. I wanted to see what they'd
7:28done to my house.
7:29The big double windows on the lakeside
7:31give a clear view into the dining room.
7:33Caitlyn and Darlene sat at the table
7:35with a man in a gray pullover. I knew
7:37him by reputation, a contractor named
7:39Chad Rice. They had drawings spread
7:41across the wood, and Darlene's finger
7:43was tracing the exact wall I had patted
7:45on my walk-through.
7:47I stepped closer to the glass, and the
7:49voices came through a gap in the old
7:51frame.
7:52"We take the whole partition out," Chad
7:53was saying. "Open concept, lake view
7:56right from the kitchen. I'd start the
7:57demo in 10 days."
7:59"What about a permit?" Caitlyn asked.
8:01She was holding a legal pad and taking
8:03careful notes.
8:04"Honestly, a permit means waiting weeks
8:06for the municipality. Chad said, "If we
8:09work quickly and keep the structural
8:10stuff low-key, nobody will look. I'll
8:13just need the deposit."
8:14Darlene slid a check across the table. I
8:17could see the zeros from where I stood.
8:19It was $22,000. She'd sold her condo, I
8:22remembered, and now she was spending
8:24that money on my house. She signed the
8:26contract line with a flourish in the box
8:28marked owner.
8:30I took out my phone and filmed for 2
8:31minutes through the glass. Then I took
8:33pictures of the drawings as clearly as I
8:35could manage. Not one of them had asked
8:37me. Not a text, not a phone call, not a
8:39courtesy.
8:41Taking out that wall without a steel
8:42beam and proper posts would let the
8:44ridge sag. Eventually, the roof would
8:46spread the walls apart as the second
8:48floor, where my grandchildren would
8:49sleep, would sit on top of it all.
8:52Mia was seven. Asher was four.
8:55I walked back through the trees. I
8:56didn't storm the house. I realized
8:58something while I walked. This had
9:00stopped being about a key or about
9:02manners. A house was in danger and a
9:04family was in danger. Caitlyn and her
9:07mother thought they had backed me into a
9:08corner where love would keep me quiet.
9:10They had forgotten what I did for a
9:12living.
9:13That night I sat at my desk with a
9:14photograph of Phil and Trevor from years
9:16ago, both in rubber boots, holding up
9:19one small perch between them.
9:21The ache was real. I let myself feel it
9:23for an hour. Then I called Roy Watkins,
9:25a structural engineer I'd worked with
9:27for 20 years, and booked him for the
9:29following week. Laura sent a written
9:31notice of entry to the address, giving
9:33the proper 24 hours. I filed everything
9:35in a single folder, the deed, the
9:37purchase documents, the video, the lot.
9:40Trevor called around 8:00 to invite me
9:42to dinner on Sunday, a peace offering
9:43from Caitlyn. I said yes in a calm
9:46voice. I did not tell him what I knew.
9:48Sunday dinner was at their rented
9:50townhouse in Aurora. Caitlyn served
9:52roast chicken and kept filling my wine
9:54glass.
9:55She praised the morning light at the
9:57lake house.
9:58Darlene sat across from me and
9:59mentioned, casually, how claustrophobic
10:02the kitchen was and how any sensible
10:03owner would take down the dividing wall.
10:06I cut my chicken and chewed slowly. I
10:08said nothing at all.
10:09Caitlyn laughed about the lease as if
10:12the rent were a misunderstanding. She
10:14proposed paying a fraction of the market
10:15rate in exchange for improving the
10:17property. Trevor stared at his plate and
10:20moved his peas around with his fork. He
10:22looked like a man waiting for a train to
10:24hit him.
10:25I put down my fork. I dabbed my mouth
10:27with a napkin and looked directly at
10:29Caitlin.
10:30"Did you get an engineer's assessment?"
10:32I said, "Before you decided to remove a
10:34load-bearing wall in my house?"
10:36She stopped mid-sentence. Her smile
10:38slipped. She looked at her mother.
10:41Darlene cleared her throat and said they
10:42had only been exploring ideas for family
10:44gatherings next summer.
10:46"Any structural alteration without my
10:48written consent," I said, "and without a
10:50building permit, ends the lease and
10:52starts legal action."
10:54The room went silent. I could hear the
10:56fridge hum. Trevor finally looked up and
10:58I saw something dawn on his face. I
11:00thanked them for the meal and left
11:02before dessert came out.
11:04Monday morning at 7:00, Roy Watkins and
11:06I pulled up at the lake house in his
11:08truck with a locksmith named Ken behind
11:10us in a van.
11:11We had the notice, we had Laura's
11:12letter, and I had the deed in a folder.
11:14I was inside my own house with a legal
11:16key by 8:00. The locksmith re-keyed the
11:18front door and put a keypad lock on it,
11:20and I held the programming card.
11:23At 10:08 a white SUV came up the
11:25driveway fast, spitting gravel across
11:27the lawn. Darlene jumped out with her
11:29silver key held up like a dagger.
11:31"What do you think you're doing?" she
11:33shouted from the driveway.
11:35"You can't touch this house without
11:36Caitlin's permission."
11:38"Darlene," I said from the porch, "your
11:40key doesn't work anymore, and you're
11:42standing on private property."
11:44She whipped out her phone and called
11:46Trevor on speaker. When he answered, he
11:48was panicking, caught between his
11:50mother-in-law yelling and his mother
11:52standing perfectly still.
11:54Darlene said I was locking her out like
11:56a criminal. Trevor stammered that we
11:58should all calm down and talk it over on
12:00the weekend like a normal family.
12:02I took the phone from her hand and held
12:04it to my ear.
12:05"The games are over, Trevor," I said
12:07quietly. "You have until to decide
12:09whether you're a tenant or a spectator."
12:12Roy went through the house for 4 hours.
12:14He climbed in the attic, down to the
12:16basement, and across the kitchen floor
12:18with a level. He took photos of the
12:20header over the arched opening and of
12:22the post below. Then he sat on the porch
12:24steps with his clipboard and said,
12:26"Paula, you were right. This wall
12:28carries the ridge. If they'd taken it
12:30out unsupported, you'd have had a
12:32sagging roof within a season and maybe
12:34worse in a heavy snow load."
12:36I thanked him. I asked for a written
12:38report, stamped.
12:40And then I asked the question I had been
12:41holding. I asked him to call the
12:43building department himself as a
12:45professional courtesy and to ask them
12:47whether anyone had applied for a permit
12:49at that address. He called while I was
12:51making coffee in my own kitchen. The
12:52answer was no.
12:54Tuesday evening, Trevor came to my house
12:56with dark circles under his eyes and sat
12:58on my sofa with his head in his hands.
13:01"Caitlin would not speak to him," he
13:03said. "She wanted him to force me to
13:04give Darlene the new code. Darlene was
13:07in their ear every night, telling them I
13:09was controlling and unwell, a bitter
13:11widow with money and nothing else to
13:12do." He begged me to compromise, to give
13:15Caitlin one code just so she could feel
13:17it was her home.
13:18I let him talk.
13:20I thought about how many years he had
13:21spent giving in to avoid a fight. I
13:23asked him a question quietly.
13:25"Why is it okay to ask your mother to
13:27give up her rights in her own house to
13:29keep Darlene happy?"
13:31He had no answer. He stared at my
13:32hardwood floor.
13:34"She changed the locks on the first
13:35day," I said. "You were standing in the
13:37hallway. You said nothing."
13:39He admitted in a small voice that he was
13:42afraid of Caitlin's temper.
13:44He had hoped it would all blow over
13:45without him having to do anything.
13:47"Doing nothing is a choice, Trevor," I
13:49said. "It has costs. Somebody always
13:51pays them. This time it was me."
13:53I handed him the final lease and a
13:56notice that the arrangement would end if
13:57it was not signed by Friday. There was
13:59no anger in my voice. It's hard to
14:01explain to people who haven't had to do
14:03it how calm a mother can be when she has
14:05finally decided. He tucked the papers
14:07into his jacket and went out into the
14:09dark without a word. I heard his car
14:11start and sat there a while longer,
14:13hands folded in my lap.
14:15On Wednesday, something happened I
14:16hadn't planned for.
14:18A neighbor at the lake, a retired
14:20teacher named Rita, who had known the
14:21previous owners, phoned me. She said a
14:24crew had been at the house since 7:00
14:25that morning.
14:26They had been banging for hours. She
14:28wanted me to know in case I didn't.
14:31I was in the car in 10 minutes. I called
14:33Laura from the highway, and she called
14:35the municipality. By the time I turned
14:37in at the gravel drive, a municipal
14:39truck was already parked at the end of
14:41it, and a building inspector in a
14:43reflective vest was standing on my porch
14:45with his clipboard.
14:46Chad's crew had gone ahead. They had
14:48stripped the drywall off the wall and
14:50the ceiling above it, pulled the casing
14:52off the arched opening, and cut two of
14:54the ceiling joists to run a duct. The
14:56doubled header was exposed, and I could
14:58see with my own eyes that it had
15:00dropped. "12 mm," Roy said when he got
15:03there later that afternoon. "It was
15:04already moving."
15:06The inspector hung an orange stop-work
15:08order on the door.
15:10Darlene was in the driveway with her
15:11face drained of color, and Chad was gone
15:13in his truck by the time I reached her.
15:16She had signed the contract as the
15:17owner. She had signed a declaration that
15:19she held the title. Her name sat on the
15:21work order in her own hand in the box
15:23marked owner. The order was issued
15:25against the one who had signed.
15:27"That's fraud," the inspector said to
15:29nobody in particular, looking down at
15:31his clipboard. I did not say a word.
15:34Friday afternoon, we sat down at the
15:35bare dining table, the five of us:
15:37Trevor, Caitlin, Darlene, me and Laura,
15:40who had driven up with her briefcase.
15:42The kids were with a sitter. The air was
15:44thick. Through the window, the lake was
15:45flat and gray.
15:47Caitlin slid the lease across to me. It
15:49was unsigned. Beside it, she had put a
15:51handwritten list of tenant demands. They
15:53would sign only if Darlene was granted
15:55permanent access and full authority over
15:57all interior design. Darlene sat with
16:00her arms up crossed, nodding, as though
16:02she still held the cards.
16:04Trevor sat at the end. He said nothing,
16:06but his face wasn't hiding anymore.
16:08Caitlin gave me a small satisfied smile.
16:10She believed I would keep my son close
16:12at any price.
16:14I folded my hands. I looked at Caitlin,
16:16then slowly turned my eyes to her
16:17mother.
16:18"If your mother is holding the only key
16:20and managing this property," I said,
16:23"has she brought a certified check for
16:25the $689,000
16:27I paid for it? Or shall I call a listing
16:29agent on Monday morning?"
16:31The room went dead quiet. Caitlin's
16:33smile collapsed. Darlene's face turned
16:36the color of paper. They both understood
16:38in that one instant that everything they
16:40had thought they held was just my
16:42kindness and I had finally stopped
16:43lending it.
16:44Then Laura opened her
16:46She slid out Roy's stamped report, the
16:48stop work order, and a letter from Chad
16:50Rice's lawyer demanding the balance of
16:52the contract, a further $11,000.
16:55Under the contract Darlene had signed as
16:57the owner, the $22,000 deposit was
17:00already gone. Roy's quote to shore up
17:02the damaged structure, new posts and a
17:04steel beam, plus the permit and
17:06reinspection, came to $11,800.
17:09"The repair is already booked," Laura
17:11said evenly.
17:12"The cost falls to you, Darlene. You
17:14signed a declaration that you held title
17:16to this house. You didn't."
17:18"It was a formality," Darlene said. Her
17:20voice cracked on the last word. "Caitlin
17:22said Paula wouldn't mind."
17:24Caitlin turned on her mother. "Don't put
17:26this on me."
17:27"You took the notes," Darlene snapped.
17:30"You asked him about the permit."
17:32I watched them go at each other across
17:33my table and I felt nothing but tired.
17:36Then someone knocked at the front door.
17:38Laura nodded as though she had expected
17:40it. I opened it to an OPP constable in
17:43uniform with a municipal officer in a
17:45reflective vest standing behind him.
17:47"I'm looking for Darlene," the constable
17:49said. Darlene stood up slowly. He read
17:52her name from his notebook and told her
17:54she was being charged with fraud for the
17:55false ownership declaration on the
17:57contract and with performing work
17:59without a permit under the Building Code
18:01Act.
18:02He handed her an appearance notice. She
18:04took them in both hands like something
18:06hot.
18:07"Paula," she said, "please, we're
18:09family."
18:10"You changed my locks on the first day,"
18:11I said. "Family doesn't do that."
18:14The constable waited while she collected
18:16her purse. Caitlin did not get up to go
18:18with her mother.
18:19She stood with her arms wrapped around
18:21herself and watched the door close.
18:23I turned to her next. "The lease has
18:25ended," I said. "The house is going on
18:27the market. You are not to enter this
18:29property again, and I won't be taking
18:31your calls. Trevor and the children are
18:33always welcome at my door. You and I can
18:35speak through Laura."
18:37Caitlin's face went through three
18:38expressions before she found a cruel
18:40one. "You'll die alone in that
18:42bungalow," she said. "You think money
18:44keeps you company?"
18:46"No," I said, "but it keeps me from
18:47being used."
18:49She picked up the list of demands,
18:50crumpled it, and dropped it on the
18:52table. Then she took her coat and left.
18:54I heard her car spit gravel down the
18:56drive.
18:57Trevor sat very still. At last he
18:59reached for the lease, the one with my
19:01terms, and signed it in the box marked
19:02tenant. "Not for this house," he said.
19:05"For wherever I land. I'll pay my own
19:06way, Mom." His hand shook. "I should
19:09have said no in that hallway."
19:11"Yes," I said, "you should have."
19:13I took his hand in mine, and that was
19:14the whole of the forgiveness for now.
19:17By 9:00 Monday morning, a listing agent
19:19from Lindsay had put a sign on the front
19:21lawn.
19:21The house sold in 19 days for $712,000.
19:26The market was hot that autumn. I paid
19:28the commission and the capital gains tax
19:30that came due, and what was left I put
19:32into dividend-paying holdings in my
19:33investment accounts.
19:35It pays me a modest, steady check every
19:37month.
19:38Trevor took a two-bedroom apartment in
19:40Newmarket and has paid the rent himself
19:42since the first month.
19:44Caitlin stayed with a friend in Barrie.
19:46She and Trevor are separated, and the
19:48children go between them. When she and I
19:50met once at a school concert, we nodded
19:52and said nothing else.
19:54Darlene came to see me once at the end.
19:56She stood on my porch in Newmarket in a
19:58wrinkled raincoat with a certified check
20:00for $11,800
20:02in an envelope and the silver key beside
20:04it. The condo money was gone between the
20:06lost deposit and Chad's lawyer.
20:09She looked 10 years older.
20:11"I'm pleading guilty," she said. "My
20:13lawyer says restitution, a fine,
20:14probation. I'll have a record." She
20:16swallowed. "I thought I was helping my
20:18daughter."
20:19"You were helping yourself to my house,"
20:20I said, and took the envelope and the
20:22key. I did not gloat. She went back down
20:25my steps, a smaller woman than the one
20:27who had stood in my doorway in a cream
20:29cardigan.
20:30Trevor comes by on Saturdays now. He
20:32brings the kids when he has them. Mia
20:34sitting at my kitchen island drawing and
20:36Asher out in the garden hauling around a
20:38plastic watering can. We have started to
20:40build something different, he and I, on
20:43firmer ground. I still help him with
20:44groceries when he's short, but I ask
20:46what it's for first, and he tells me.
20:48It's slow. It's real.
20:50I wake up early now, make coffee, and
20:52sit on my back step while the morning
20:54mist lifts off the garden. I prune my
20:56roses with careful, deliberate cuts. An
20:58overgrown branch, left alone, chokes out
21:01everything healthy beneath it. Families
21:03are no different.
21:04Setting a boundary did not destroy my
21:06family. It only took away the weak joint
21:08that was going to bring it down from the
21:09inside.
21:11I don't carry keys anymore to places
21:12where I am not respected.
21:14And the only door I'm sure of is the one
21:16I can open myself.
21:18Most parents have given a lot to their
21:19grown children out of love, and it is
21:21rarely simple to see where generosity
21:23should stop. Where do you draw the line
21:26between helping a grown child and
21:27letting them take what is yours?

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