Modern Family S01E01 - Pilot (Part 1) — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:02Kids, breakfast.
2. 0:05Kids?
3. 0:07So, what did you get them?
4. 0:08Yeah, just a sec.
5. 0:11KIDS!
6. 0:13THAT IS
7. 0:14TALL.
8. 0:15OKAY.
9. 0:16KIDS, get down here.
10. 0:18Why are you guys yelling at us when
11. 0:20we're way upstairs? Just text me.
12. 0:23All right, that's not going to happen.
13. 0:24And wow, you're not wearing that outfit.
14. 0:26What's wrong with it?
15. 0:27Honey, do you have anything to say to
16. 0:28your daughter about her skirt?
17. 0:30Sorry.
18. 0:31Oh, yeah, that looks really cute,
19. 0:33sweetheart.
20. 0:33Thanks.
21. 0:34No, it's way too short. People know
22. 0:36you're a girl, you don't need to prove
23. 0:37it to them.
24. 0:38Luke got his head stuck in the banister
25. 0:40again.
26. 0:40I got it. Where's the baby oil?
27. 0:43It's our bedside table.
28. 0:45I don't know. Find it.
29. 0:48Come on.
30. 0:49I was out of control growing up. There,
31. 0:53you know, I said it. I
32. 0:54I I I I
33. 0:56I just don't want my kids to make the
34. 0:57same bad mistakes I made.
35. 1:00If Haley never wakes up on a beach in
36. 1:02Florida half naked,
37. 1:04I've done my job.
38. 1:05Our job.
39. 1:07Right.
40. 1:08I've done our job.
41. 1:10MANNY, MANNY,
42. 1:11KICK IT, KICK IT. DON'T LET HIM KICK IT.
43. 1:14MANNY, GO.
44. 1:16A LA DERECHA, A LA DERECHA, MANNY.
45. 1:17NO!
46. 1:18NO! NO!
47. 1:20HE TRIPPED HIM, JAY. What is that
48. 1:21penalty?
49. 1:22Gloria, they're 0 and 6. Let's take it
50. 1:24down a notch.
51. 1:26We're very different.
52. 1:28Jay's from the city. He has big
53. 1:31business. I come from a small village,
54. 1:34very poor, but very, very beautiful.
55. 1:37It's the number one village in all
56. 1:39Colombia for all the
57. 1:41What's the word?
58. 1:42Murders.
59. 1:43Yes, the murders.
60. 1:45Manny, stop him!
61. 1:47STOP HIM, YOU CAN DO IT!
62. 1:54Jam it, Manny.
63. 1:55Come on, coach. You got to take that kid
64. 1:57out.
65. 1:58I want to take him out.
66. 2:00How about I take you out?
67. 2:01Honey, honey.
68. 2:02Why don't you worry ABOUT YOUR SON? HE
69. 2:04SPENT THE FIRST HALF WITH he done in his
70. 2:06pants.
71. 2:10I've wanted to tell her after the last 6
72. 2:12weeks.
73. 2:14I'm Josh, Ryan's dad.
74. 2:16I am Gloria Pritchett, Manny's mother.
75. 2:19Oh, this must be your dad.
76. 2:20Her dad?
77. 2:21Yeah.
78. 2:21Uh no, no, that's funny. Actually, no,
79. 2:23I'm her husband. Don't be fooled by the
80. 2:26Give me a second here.
81. 2:30Who is a good girl? Who's that?
82. 2:33Who's that?
83. 2:34Oh, she's adorable.
84. 2:37Thank you.
85. 2:38Hi, precious.
86. 2:39Hello.
87. 2:40Hi. Hi.
88. 2:42Uh we just we just adopted her from
89. 2:43Vietnam and we're bringing her home for
90. 2:45the first time, huh?
91. 2:47Oh, she's an angel. You and your wife
92. 2:49must be thrilled.
93. 2:50Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, Daddy needed
94. 2:52snacks.
95. 2:53Hi.
96. 2:56So,
97. 2:58what are we talking about?
98. 3:00Uh we have been together for uh five 5
99. 3:04years now. And uh we just we decided we
100. 3:07really want to have a baby. So, we had
101. 3:08initially asked one of our lesbian
102. 3:10friends to be a surrogate. Then we
103. 3:12figured they're already mean enough. Can
104. 3:14you imagine one of them pregnant? No,
105. 3:16thank you.