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Minimalism: Live a Meaningful Life (Audiobook) — Transcript

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0:01[Music]
0:05minimalism living meaningful
0:09Life by the minimalists Joshua Fields
0:11Milburn and Ryan
0:14Nicodemus read by Justin
0:17mik music by
0:27we are you truly happy
0:32forward a brief
0:34introduction Conformity is the drug with
0:36which many people self-medicate not
0:38happy buy this buy that buy something
0:41keep up with the Joneses the trumps the
0:44Kardashians after all you can be just
0:46like them right clearly this is wrong we
0:49all know this and yet we continue to try
0:51day in day out we try we try to keep up
0:54try to measure up try to live up to
0:56societal expectations we place immense
0:59pressure on ourselves El to be something
1:00or someone we are not consequently
1:03people are more stressed than ever we
1:05have more pressure put on us than any
1:07other time in history you see it on TV
1:09the toothpick thin models and rugged
1:11sexiest men alive dominating the screen
1:14this is what you're supposed to look
1:16like you hear it on the radio the
1:18solipsistic overindulgent Hummer driving
1:20rap stars and champagne guzzling pop
1:22stars promulgating irresponsible living
1:25this is how you're supposed to consume
1:27you notice it at work the cooworker got
1:29gossip about him and her and God forbid
1:32you this is how you're supposed to
1:35behave to have the tallest building in
1:37town you must tear down everyone else's
1:40suffice it to say the pressure surrounds
1:42us or does it the truth is that nearly
1:45all the pressure we feel is completely
1:47internal sure this pressure is
1:48influenced by external factors but that
1:51doesn't mean we have to take the bait we
1:53need to succumb to these influences
1:55because even if you could be a
1:56Kardashian or a trump or a Jones it
1:58wouldn't make you happy happiness comes
2:01from within from inside yourself from
2:03living a meaningful life and that is
2:05what this book aims to help you
2:08discover about the
2:09minimalists this book is ultimately
2:11about you and how you can live a
2:13meaningful life but let's talk about us
2:15for a moment we are Joshua Fields
2:17Milburn and Ryan Nicodemus a pair of 30s
2:19somethings who write essays about living
2:21a meaningful life with less stuff at the
2:22minimalist.org
2:29New York Times USA Today Forbes Time
2:33Magazine People magazine and many other
2:35outlets we both have extensive
2:37experience leading large groups of
2:38people in Corporate America coaching and
2:40developing hundreds of employees to help
2:42them grow as individuals and contribute
2:44to the world around them once upon a
2:46time we were two happy young
2:48professionals living in Dayton Ohio but
2:50we weren't truly happy we were best
2:52friends in our late 20s and we both had
2:54great six-figure jobs fancy cars big
2:56houses expensive clothes plenty of toys
2:59and an abundance of stuff and yet with
3:01all this stuff we knew we weren't
3:03satisfied with our lives we weren't
3:05fulfilled we discovered that working 70
3:08or 80 hours a week and buying even more
3:10stuff didn't fill the void it widened it
3:13so we took back control of Our Lives
3:14using the principles of minimalism to
3:16focus on what's
3:18important about this book this book has
3:21been a long time in the making its
3:23initial iteration conceived in 2010 and
3:26completed in March 2011 resulted in a
3:28300 page how-to guide called minimalism
3:31in 21 days a 300 page book about
3:34becoming a minimalist this didn't feel
3:36right to us how could a book about
3:38minimalism a book about reducing life's
3:40excess be 300 Pages we could almost
3:43taste the irony don't get us wrong it
3:46was a good book far better than most
3:48driil you'll find on the internet but
3:50because we didn't feel it was a great
3:51book and because it lacked a necessary
3:53brevity we did what any responsible
3:55authors would have done we scrapped the
3:56entire project published a ten weighted
3:58version of minimalist in 21 days on our
4:00website
4:28minimalist.org astonished by how well
4:30the book's principles have endured
4:32during every event every interview and
4:34nearly every conversation we have with
4:36readers we find ourselves returning to
4:38the five values in this book while we
4:40won't use the pages of this new edition
4:42to expand on the past half decade our
4:44Memoir everything that remains and our
4:46essay collection essential do a thorough
4:47job of that we significantly updated
4:50minimalism by expanding on the five
4:51values expressed in this book our
4:54website provides the ultimate how to
4:55start guide for free as well as frequent
4:57updates by way of our online essay days
4:59which explore minimalism at a deep level
5:01detailing practical ways to apply simple
5:03living to your life we wrote this book
5:06to be used in a similar practical way we
5:08certainly don't want to waste your time
5:10the ingredients in this book are
5:11designed to provide you with a basic
5:12recipe for intentional living while
5:15allowing you to adjust the recipe to
5:16suit your own taste and lifestyle
5:18furthermore while this entire book can
5:20be consumed within a day or two it is
5:22organized into seven succinct chunks
5:24which are better digested in a week one
5:26chapter at a time this book is different
5:29from from the content on our website and
5:31in our other books while our website
5:33documents our journey into minimalism
5:34and our continued growth through
5:36experimentation this book discusses
5:38minimalism in a different way it covers
5:40in depth the five values for living a
5:42meaningful life it also provides insight
5:44into our personal lives including the
5:46painful events that led us to our
5:48journey into minimalism the book itself
5:50is written and organized to help you
5:52think about your life and how you live
5:54it to make you do some work and
5:55introspection so you can step away from
5:57your old life and journey into a new one
5:59to help you realize you can change you
6:02can reselect who you're going to be you
6:04can become the best person you're
6:05capable of becoming the real you the
6:08passionate loving compassionate
6:10disciplined happy you so if you truly
6:13want to maximize what you learn from
6:15this book we ask you not only read its
6:17content but also do three things as you
6:19read read more than once the first
6:22reading primes the pump but rereading
6:24the parts you find most relevant will
6:26fuel your desire to take action to
6:28change your life
6:29take notes unlike the essays on our
6:32website this book is not designed to be
6:34read just once and it is not a
6:35theoretical document we want you to get
6:37the most out of this book which means
6:39taking notes highlighting certain
6:41passages and making lists to help you
6:42better understand yourself take action
6:46this is the most important step if you
6:48read this book but do nothing with what
6:50you've learned then you are wasting your
6:52time it's fine to just absorb the
6:53information to start but action is
6:55what's going to change your life we
6:57don't overwhelm you with action in these
6:59chapters but we do ask you to make many
7:01small adjustments in your life that add
7:03up to significant change over time for
7:05all intents and purposes this is a book
7:07of advice as minimalists we start with
7:10the material possessions and then once
7:11we've cleared the excess we move beyond
7:13the stuff to the most important aspects
7:15of Life Health relationships passions
7:19growth and contribution these five
7:21values are the fundaments of living a
7:23meaningful life finally it is important
7:26to note that while we are sharing our 60
7:27combined Years of Living Through the
7:29these Pages we do not have all the
7:31answers the strategies experiments and
7:34stories we share in this book are things
7:35we've learned from innumerable sources
7:37from Elizabeth Gilbert to Tony Robbins
7:39and everyone in between the Common
7:41Thread however is that these are the
7:43strategies that have worked well for us
7:45and thousands of other people although
7:47we're all different we're all looking
7:49for the same thing how to live with more
7:55meaning chapter 1 our
7:58arrival our are you happy the material
8:01possessions we accumulate will not make
8:03us happy we all know this and yet we
8:05often search for life's meaning through
8:07accumulating more possessions real
8:09happiness however comes from who we are
8:11from who we've become real happiness
8:14comes from within likewise
8:16discontentment is also a result of who
8:18we've become if you want to base your
8:20life on that of the average person then
8:22this book is not for you because the
8:24average person is not happy and just
8:26because most people are unhappy doesn't
8:28mean you must be happy too you need
8:30settle for a mediocre life just because
8:32the people around you did of course
8:35happiness is not the point a meaningful
8:37life is we must stop searching for
8:39happiness and instead start looking for
8:41meaning if our short-term actions align
8:44with our long-term values we'll find
8:46purpose in whatever we're doing
8:48paradoxically it is this way of living
8:50living deliberately that leads to true
8:52happiness not ephemeral or fleeting
8:54happiness but lasting contentment that
8:56is reinforced by a life of discipline
8:58attention awareness and intentionality
9:01happiness is merely a
9:04byproduct finding
9:06discontent in 2009 life looked great for
9:08both of us we both worked for the same
9:10telecommunications corporation Joshua
9:13since 1999 Ryan since 2004 we both
9:16enjoyed the perks of a lifestyle most
9:18people envied we both lived our version
9:20of the American dream but for some
9:22reason neither one of us could explain
9:23at the time we were not happy we didn't
9:25feel fulfilled and we certainly didn't
9:27feel content the topic of Happiness
9:30began peeking its head into our
9:31conversations more frequently As Time
9:33passed with each promotion at work with
9:35each award or fancy trip we won with
9:38every nugget of Praise we received the
9:40happiness accompanying those things
9:41quickly came and went the faster it came
9:44the faster it left so we sought
9:46Happiness by attempting to get more of
9:47these nuggets of Praise trying to
9:49improve our feelings of self-worth and
9:51significance by quote unquote achieving
9:53more we worked harder and harder to
9:55obtain these affirmations of worth often
9:57working twice as many hours as the
9:59average American to prove our value it
10:01was something like a cocaine High the
10:03more praise we received the more we
10:05needed it to function the more we needed
10:07it to feel happy it got to the point
10:09where we were living just to break even
10:12emotionally discontent flooded Our Lives
10:15we knew something needed to change but
10:16we weren't sure what so we did what most
10:19Americans do we tried to purchase
10:21happiness even though we were both
10:22earning more than six figures in
10:24well-respected positions we spent more
10:26money than we made purchasing things
10:28like luxury bars large houses big screen
10:31TVs fancy furniture expensive vacations
10:34and everything else our heavily mediated
10:36consumer culture told us would make us
10:38happy but it didn't make us happy it
10:41brought us more depression and
10:42discontent because not only did the old
10:44feelings stick around but we piled onto
10:46those feelings by going into debt and
10:49when the temporary high from each of our
10:50purchases dissipated we were left
10:52feeling depressed empty alone and
10:55helpless then in late 2009 a series of
10:58alarming events events made Joshua begin
11:00to question every aspect of his life
11:02including his material possessions his
11:04career his success and the meaning of
11:07life a slow burn but let's rewind our
11:10story a bit because our discontent in
11:12suddenly descend from the heavens
11:13striking us like a bolt of lightning we
11:15didn't wake up one morning and say gee
11:17everything was fine yesterday but today
11:19I'm unhappy discontentment doesn't work
11:22that way rather it's a slow burn it's a
11:24pernicious problem that creeps into your
11:26life after years of subtle
11:27dissatisfaction
11:29it started When We Were Young the first
11:32signs of discontent appeared in our
11:34lives well before our days in Corporate
11:36America it started when we were children
11:39the two of us met 20 years ago in the
11:40fifth grade we were 10 years old living
11:42near Dayton Ohio and even by then our
11:45lives were filled with discontent we
11:47both grew up in Dysfunctional households
11:49during the 1980s before dysfunctional
11:51was a common term both sets of our
11:53parents were divorced Joshua's parents
11:56separated when he was three his mother
11:58succumbed to alcohol ISM forcing him to
12:00raise himself most years after age six
12:02his bipolar schizophrenic father died
12:04when he was nine Ryan's mother had
12:07similar substance abuse issues which
12:09later led to substance abuse for Ryan as
12:10a young adult both of us were raised in
12:13less than ideal conditions for much of
12:14our childhoods which in retrospect was a
12:16recipe for Disaster by age 12 we were
12:19both overweight uncool and utterly
12:22unhappy with our lives we did things to
12:24try to escape back then the easiest
12:26Escape was food we experienced instant
12:29gratification by stuffing our faces we
12:31felt certain we would be happy at least
12:32for a moment food was one of the few
12:35aspects of Our Lives we could control
12:36because everything else felt so out of
12:38control we lived in dilapidated
12:40cockroach infested apartments with
12:42single mothers who cared about us but
12:44who were more concerned with getting
12:45drunk or high than providing for their
12:47children as we approached High School
12:49Ryan moved into his father's home a much
12:51Stabler household his father owned a
12:54small wallpapering company and was able
12:55to provide a better lower middle class
12:57lifestyle Ryan's father was the
12:59antithesis of his mother he held a
13:01stable job he showed he cared in Myriad
13:03ways and he was a devout Jehovah's
13:05Witness the long list of positive
13:07changes was too much for Ryan to handle
13:09all at once so while he did his best to
13:11conform to the strict household rules he
13:13also rebelled experimenting with alcohol
13:15marijuana and harder drugs Joshua took a
13:19different route while he didn't indulge
13:21in alcohol or drugs because he was so
13:22turned off by his mother's rampant
13:24alcoholism he found another way to cope
13:26namely Obsession and compulsion in the
13:28form of OCD he discovered that even
13:31though he couldn't control his living
13:32situation the Tumbl Down Apartment the
13:34drunken mother the lack of money he
13:36could control himself so he lost a lot
13:39of weight during his freshman year in
13:40high school in an unhealthy Way by
13:42eating very little and he spent hours
13:44organizing his meager possessions
13:46obsessing over the smallest things
13:48searching for some kind of order in a
13:49world of chaos during our last year of
13:52high school in 1998 we had a memorable
13:54conversation that unknowingly became the
13:56Tipping Point that led us into the chaos
13:58and confusion of consumerism because we
14:01grew up relatively poor we thought the
14:02key to our happiness would be money
14:05specifically if we could just make
14:06$50,000 a year then we'd be set our
14:10parents hadn't earned that kind of money
14:11and they weren't happy so we figured if
14:13we could pass an arbitrary threshold
14:15$50,000 in this case then we would
14:17somehow be happy it sounds ridiculous
14:20now but it made perfect sense to a
14:22couple 18-year-olds about to enter the
14:23world on their own we graduated high
14:26school in 1999 and we went in separate
14:28Direction for a few years neither of us
14:30went to college straight away instead we
14:32both entered the Working World Ryan
14:34worked for his father hanging wallpaper
14:36and painting walls and opulent houses
14:38throughout Southwest Ohio Joshua found a
14:40sales job with a large corporation both
14:43careers were steeped in certain monetary
14:45expectations neither of us particularly
14:47enjoyed what we were doing but we didn't
14:49know any better we didn't realize you
14:51could actually do work you enjoyed for
14:54us our jobs were designed to do two
14:56things for our lifestyle allow us to
14:57make money and giv us a certain kind of
14:59social status Ryan was making enough
15:02money to live it wasn't great money but
15:04it paid the bills he also earned an
15:06identity from his job a fleet of half a
15:08dozen paint trucks Nicodemus plastered
15:10on the side of each patrolled the
15:11streets of Warren County Ohio silently
15:14speaking volumes about his future there
15:16was comfort in knowing that one day he
15:17would take over his father's business
15:19making it his own and maybe even passing
15:21it on to his future children but Ryan
15:23also knew the painting business wouldn't
15:25make him Rich he was painting
15:27multi-million dollar homes which he knew
15:29he'd never afford himself even when he
15:30took over his dad's business which if he
15:32worked really hard he'd do once his dad
15:34retired in a decade or two there was a
15:37fair amount of discontent that showed up
15:38for Ryan realizing he would never be
15:40able to get something he wanted at the
15:42time he didn't know why he wanted a
15:44palacial home or why it would make him
15:46happy he was merely unhappy that he
15:48would never afford such luxuries so Ryan
15:50searched for contentment in other ways
15:53Joshua found a job at which he had the
15:55potential to earn more money than the
15:56people with whom he went to high school
15:58a job that had long-term career growth
16:00possibilities all he had to do was work
16:02like a sled dog to quote unquote get
16:04results so work like a dog he did often
16:07working more than a month straight 7
16:09days a week without a day off the more
16:11he worked the more he sold and the more
16:13he sold the more money he earned and the
16:16more he was showered with praise at 18
16:18he was already making more money than
16:19his mother ever had he was poised for
16:22corporate greatness at least ostensibly
16:26but Joshua experienced discontent too
16:28though he was making more than $50,000
16:30by 19 he had little personal time the
16:33corporate world of Performing and
16:34achieving was taking its toll so he try
16:36to purchase happiness attempting to
16:38manufacture a life of
16:40contentment manufactured contentment
16:43unhappy with our jobs and our lives we
16:46try to fix our discontent in different
16:48ways Ryan turned to a few extremes first
16:51he turned back to his father's religion
16:53the religion of his childhood swearing
16:55off drugs and worldly activities
16:57becoming a devout jeh hov's witness
16:59embracing his tenants and searching for
17:01life's meaning through religion Ryan
17:03married his high school girlfriend at 18
17:05a few months after graduating high
17:06school he and his wife adopted the JW
17:08lifestyle got a mortgage for a small
17:10house in the hometown in which they were
17:12raised and started talking about
17:13creating a family together but it became
17:16a marriage saturated with fear and
17:18distrust after 3 years of tedious
17:20matrimony the marriage ended nastily
17:23upon which Ryan turned back to drugs and
17:24alcohol searching for an escape from his
17:26painful failed reality Joshua on the
17:29other hand continued his laser focused
17:31work in Corporate America consistently
17:33performing as one of the best
17:34salespeople in the company he earned his
17:36first promotion to a leadership position
17:38at 22 making him the youngest person in
17:40the company's 130e history to have
17:43earned the position with this promotion
17:45came more money more responsibility and
17:47even more work Joshua's life was
17:49consumed by work at 23 he got married
17:53built a large house in Suburbia and
17:54continued to work more and more as his
17:56personal life passed by in the focused
17:58background he hardly realized he had
18:00gotten married he neglected and took for
18:02granted the relationship with his wife
18:04he hardly spent time in a large house
18:06which contained more bedrooms than
18:08inhabitants above all he avoided the
18:10discontent Brewing within him he knew he
18:13wasn't happy but he'd get there one day
18:15right and so life went on at its
18:17Breakneck Pace to deal with his more
18:19subtle discontent Joshua tried to buy
18:21his happiness he spent money on stuff
18:24buying fancy clothes expensive vacations
18:26consumer electronics multitudes of
18:29unnecessary junk when those things
18:31didn't bring lasting happiness he turned
18:33to his childhood Vice of food by his
18:35early 20s he weighed more than ever he
18:38was 70 lbs overweight and severely out
18:40of shape but at least I'm making money
18:42he thought giving himself an identity in
18:44his career a kind of status and
18:46satisfaction and knowing he performed
18:48well at his job albe it a job he wasn't
18:50passionate
18:51about reconnecting the duo it was around
18:54this time that we reconnected almost
18:56accidentally at the nator of our early
18:5820s Ryan decided that taking over his
19:00father's business was not for him he
19:03didn't know what he wanted to do with
19:04his life but he figured he'd give the
19:06corporate world a shot because if he
19:07could just make over $50,000 a year then
19:09life would be good and he would be happy
19:11right so in 2004 shortly after Joshua
19:14got married and Ryan got divorced Joshua
19:17hired Ryan to work at the corporation at
19:18which he had slayed for the last half
19:20decade like Joshua Ryan quickly excelled
19:23working exceptionally hard becoming one
19:25of the company's top performing
19:27salespeople we both earned several more
19:29promotions over the years during our mid
19:31and late 20s promotions with fancy
19:33titles like channel manager regional
19:35manager and director and with those
19:37titles came more money and more
19:39responsibility and more work sadly far
19:42darker things came with those promotions
19:44as well anxiety and stress and worry and
19:48overwhelm and depression and yet try as
19:51we did our search for happiness through
19:53status and material possessions never
19:55yielded real lasting happiness or
19:57contentment by our late 20s we were
19:59earning great money at jobs we disliked
20:01but we were in debt financially and
20:04emotionally Back to the Future fast
20:07forward back to 2009 back to our 80h
20:10hour work weeks back to our ostensibly
20:12perfect lives that were crumbling on the
20:13inside on October 8th 2009 Joshua's
20:16mother died of stage four lung cancer
20:19she battled it over a year enduring
20:21repeat chemo and radiation treatments
20:23but as the cancer spread to her brain
20:25and other organs she was no match for
20:27the disease in the end and oddly enough
20:29the cancer seemed to be a metaphor for
20:31Joshua's life while things looked good
20:33on the surface the marriage the fancy
20:35job the cars the trinkets of success
20:38there was something seriously wrong on
20:39the inside neither of us was happy when
20:42we told ourselves a decade earlier we'd
20:44be happy if we could just make $50,000
20:46per year we were wrong at first in our
20:49early 20s we thought maybe we had simply
20:51miscalculated the exact amount required
20:53to be happy so we changed our estimation
20:55if we could make $660,000 per year then
20:58we could be happy right and when that
21:00didn't work if we can make $75,000 and
21:02then $90,000 and then $100,000 per year
21:05then we could be happy right it was a
21:07never-ending cycle each year we made
21:10more money and each year we spent more
21:11than we earned in an effort to subdue
21:13our Perpetual discontent created by the
21:15lifestyles we were living the equation
21:17itself was broken a week after Joshua's
21:20mother died we had another conversation
21:22about happiness we discussed why we
21:24weren't happy and what it would take to
21:26make us happy obvious ly the old formula
21:29of if we can make xll then we could be
21:31happy was not panning out we were both
21:34making over six figures we were both
21:36successful 28-year-old young Executives
21:38and we both quote unquote had it figured
21:40out according to cultural standards but
21:42we didn't have it figured out at all was
21:45this what we had been waiting for our
21:46entire lives were we going to continue
21:48to work ridiculously long hours at a
21:50corporation that didn't care about us
21:52were we going to work our way into upper
21:54management becoming Coos or CEOs with
21:57seven or eight figure salaries just to
21:59be even more depressed by the time we
22:01were in our 40s it didn't sound
22:03appealing to us our dreams of climbing
22:05the corporate ladder seem more like
22:06nightmares the more we talked about it
22:09the death of Joshua's mother put
22:10everything into perspective we have only
22:12a finite amount of time on this Earth it
22:14can be spent accumulating monetary
22:16wealth or it can be spent in a
22:18meaningful way the latter of which
22:20doesn't necessarily preclude someone
22:21from the former but the Relentless
22:23pursuit of riches doesn't lead to a
22:25meaningful life so we decided to take an
22:28inventory of Our Lives we wanted to find
22:30out what was making us unhappy and what
22:32we needed to do to change those things
22:34in our lives so we could experience
22:35happiness passion
22:38Freedom
22:39anchors first we identified our anchors
22:43we had discovered getting what we wanted
22:45large houses bigger paychecks material
22:47possessions and corporate Awards wasn't
22:49making us happy so we wanted to identify
22:52what was anchoring us what was making us
22:53feel stuck and preventing us from
22:55growing the concept of anchor struck a
22:57COR with both of us it forced us to take
22:59an honest look in the mirror and
23:01identify everything we thought might be
23:02holding us back from living happy
23:04fulfilled lives the exercise we
23:06performed was simple over the course of
23:08one week each of us wrote down anything
23:11we thought might be an anchor the first
23:12step to solving a problem is to identify
23:14the problem right as the week progressed
23:16our lists of anchors grew and by the end
23:19of the week Joshua counted 83 anchors
23:21and Ryan 54 plenty of anchors our next
23:25step was to identify our priorities we
23:27we start prioritizing by dividing our
23:29anchors into two categories major
23:31anchors and minor anchors major anchors
23:34were the most obvious things keeping us
23:36from feeling free including our houses
23:38namely the large mortgage payments that
23:40went with them certain relationships
23:42with people namely unhealthy
23:44relationships that didn't add value to
23:45our lives car payments and other large
23:48bills major debts our careers and
23:50anything else that demanded an
23:52inordinate amount of time without
23:53returning commensurate value to our
23:55lives minor anchors made up the bulk of
23:57our lists and included cable bills
23:59internet bills other bills smaller debts
24:02unused clothes unused household items
24:04household clutter certain unproductive
24:07peripheral relationships daily drive
24:09time and other small things that consume
24:11small amounts of our time attention and
24:13focus we decided that ridding ourselves
24:15of many of these anchors over a period
24:17of time would let us reclaim much of our
24:19own time which could then be spent in
24:21more meaningful ways because the major
24:23anchors appear to be the hardest to
24:24tackle we started with those first for
24:27example every extra Penny Joshua earned
24:29was spent on making extra payments
24:31toward his debts no more trips Vacations
24:33or fancy dinners all his money went
24:35toward paying off his car and his vast
24:37credit card debt which despite a healthy
24:39income had climbed to an unbelievable
24:41level greater than six figures
24:44eventually over a 2-year period we paid
24:46off our cars and paid down our debts
24:49other major anchors were addressed in a
24:50similar fashion we eventually jettisoned
24:52many of our possessions eliminating the
24:54excess in favor of things we liked and
24:56enjoyed things we actually used in our
24:58daily lives over the course of two years
25:01our anchors of old were no longer
25:03weighing us
25:04down making difficult
25:07decisions because some of the major
25:08anchors involved our relationships with
25:10other people some tough decisions had to
25:12be made soon after Joshua's mother died
25:15Joshua decided his marriage of nearly
25:17six years wasn't working he knew that
25:20neither he nor his wife was happy that
25:22neither of their values or desires were
25:24aligned and that they both wanted vastly
25:26different things from life they loved
25:28each other and wanted to find a way to
25:29make their marriage work so they sat
25:31down and discussed their differences and
25:32worked on a plan to save their marriage
25:34they attended marriage counsiling and
25:36took steps to come into better alignment
25:37working together for months in an effort
25:39to repair a broken marriage their
25:41differences however were too great so
25:43Joshua and his wife decided to part ways
25:46it was the hardest decision he ever had
25:47to make thankfully As Time passed they
25:50were able to remain close friends who
25:51still care about each other deeply
25:54furthermore Joshua was faced with the
25:55Dilemma of what to do with his mother's
25:57stuff after her her death what to do
25:58with those sentimental items we tend to
26:00hold on to in perpetuity his mother had
26:02lived a thousand miles away in Florida
26:05and after she passed it was his
26:06responsibility to vacate her small
26:08one-bedroom apartment brimming with
26:10belongings his mother had an interior
26:12decorator's good taste so none of her
26:14stuff was junk in the hoarder sense of
26:16the word which made letting go of
26:18anything difficult nevertheless there
26:20was a lot of stuff in her home likely
26:22three or more Apartments is worth in her
26:24tiny dwelling so he knew some things
26:26would have to go his mom had lived her
26:28life as a constant Shopper always
26:30accumulating more stuff she had antique
26:32furniture throughout her apartment a
26:34stunning Oak canopy bed that consumed
26:36almost her entire bedroom two closets
26:38bulging with clothes picture frames
26:40standing on every flat surface original
26:42artwork hanging on the walls and
26:44creative decorations in every nook and
26:46cranny and crass 64 years of
26:48accumulations so Joshua did what any son
26:51would do he rented a large U-Haul truck
26:54then he called a storage facility back
26:55in Ohio to make sure they had a big
26:56enough storage unit it the truck was
26:59$1,600 the storage facility was $120 per
27:02month financially the cost was expensive
27:05but he quickly discovered the emotional
27:07cost was much higher at first Joshua
27:09didn't want to let go of anything if
27:11you've lost a loved one or you've been
27:12through a similarly emotional time then
27:14you understand exactly how hard it was
27:16for him to let go of any of those
27:18possessions so instead of letting go he
27:20planned to cram every trinket and
27:22figurine and piece of oversized
27:24Furniture into that tiny storage locker
27:25in Ohio floor to feeling that way he
27:28knew mom's stuff was there if he ever
27:30wanted it if he ever needed access to it
27:32for some incomprehensible reason just in
27:35case the week after her death Joshua
27:37began boxing up her belongings every
27:39picture frame every porcelain doll every
27:42doily on every shelf he packed every bit
27:44of her that remained or so he thought
27:48then he looked under the bed among the
27:50organized chaos that compromise the
27:52crawl space beneath her bed there were
27:53four boxes each labeled with a number 1
27:562 three four each numbered box was
28:00sealed with packing tape Joshua cut
28:02through the tape and found old papers
28:04from his elementary school days grades 1
28:06through 4 spelling tests cursive writing
28:08lessons artwork it was all there every
28:10shred of paper from his first four years
28:12of school it was evident she hadn't
28:14access to sealed boxes in years and yet
28:16she had held on to these things because
28:18she was trying to hold on to pieces of
28:19her son pieces of the past much like
28:22Joshua was attempting to hold on to
28:23pieces of her and her past now that's
28:26when he realized his retention efforts
28:28were feudal he could hold on to her
28:30memories without her stuff just as she
28:32had always remembered him and his
28:33childhood and all their memories without
28:36ever accessing those sealed boxes under
28:37her bed she didn't need papers from 25
28:40years ago to remember her son just as
28:42her son didn't need a storage locker
28:43filled with her belongings to remember
28:45her so Joshua called U-Haul and canceled
28:48the truck then over the next 12 days he
28:50donated almost all her stuff to places
28:53and people who could actually use it of
28:55course it was difficult to let go but
28:56Joshua learned several lessons during
28:58this experience we are not our stuff we
29:02are more than our possessions our
29:04memories are within us not our things
29:07our stuff weighs on us mentally and
29:09emotionally old photographs can be
29:12scanned you can take pictures of items
29:14you want to remember items that are
29:16sentimental for us can be useful to
29:18others letting go is
29:20freeing we don't think sentimental items
29:23are bad or evil or that holding on to
29:25them is wrong rather we think the malign
29:27nature of sentimental items is far more
29:29subtle if you want to get rid of an item
29:31but the only reason you are holding on
29:32to it is for sentimental reasons if it's
29:35Weighing on you if it's an anchor then
29:37perhaps it's time to get rid of it
29:38perhaps it's time to Free Yourself of
29:40the weight that doesn't mean you need to
29:41get rid of everything though one by one
29:44over time the two of us tackled many of
29:46our aners big and small in the process
29:48of tackling our aners we search for ways
29:50to do so more efficiently we search for
29:53examples of people who had overcome
29:54their fears who had freed themselves of
29:56their anchors and and started Living
29:57more meaningful lives this is how he
30:00stumbled upon the concepts of
30:02minimalism discovering
30:04minimalism in late 2009 shortly after
30:07Joshua's mother had died while his
30:09marriage was in shambles and we were
30:10both unhappy with our current nose to
30:12the grindstone situations Joshua came
30:14across a website called Exile lifestyle
30:16developed by a guy named Colin Wright we
30:19were intrigued by Colin's website here
30:21was this young 24-year-old entrepreneur
30:23living an amazing life a seemingly
30:25impossible life he left his high-paying
30:28career to pursue his passions traveling
30:29the world and running his businesses
30:31from anywhere his website what he called
30:33a Blog a term we were unfamiliar with at
30:36the time documented his travels and
30:38allowed his thousands of readers to
30:39participate in his journey colins's
30:41readers vote on where he will travel
30:43next we were amazed that this guy left
30:46everything to travel to a new country
30:47every four months not that we wanted to
30:49travel that extensively ourselves we
30:51didn't but we did want to have the
30:53freedom to pursue our own passions which
30:55we discovered weren't inside the
30:56corporate juggernaut
30:58Colin also used a term with which we
30:59were utterly unfamiliar he said he was a
31:02minimalist on his website he wrote about
31:04how this movement called minimalism
31:06allowed him to focus on the important
31:07stuff in his life while shedding the
31:09excess junk that had gotten in the way
31:11this was fascinating it was like someone
31:13turned on the light bulb for us for the
31:15first time and presented us with a tool
31:17to help us weed through the clutter in
31:18our lives to finally get to what was
31:20important because he traveled Colin
31:23owned only 72 things at the time there
31:25were pictures of all his possessions on
31:27his website and all of his possessions
31:29fit into a bag he carried with him while
31:30he traveled the most striking part about
31:33this story was Colin's contentment he
31:35exuded happiness and excitement and
31:37passion he loved his life although we
31:40deeply respect Colin we didn't want to
31:42live like him we didn't want to travel
31:43the world or live with fewer than 100
31:45things but we did want the freedom that
31:47his minimalist lifestyle afforded him
31:49and we wanted the happiness and passion
31:51that accompanied that freedom so during
31:53the first half of 2010 we slowly removed
31:55our anchors one by one one as we
31:57followed Colin's Journey but at 30 maybe
32:00we were too old and too rooted to become
32:02minimalists maybe this minimalism thing
32:04was only for young guys without many
32:06possessions who wanted to travel
32:08extensively we discovered that wasn't
32:10true either through Colin we discovered
32:12two other minimalists who were in many
32:14ways much like us Leo Baba and Joshua
32:17Becker Leo Baba creator of the website
32:19Zen habits had a story that resonated
32:22with us immediately he was a once
32:24divorced man in his mid-30s who overcame
32:26scads of diversity to live more
32:28meaningfully using minimalism to
32:30simplify his life he had accomplished
32:32some amazing feats in just a few years
32:34he quit smoking lost 70 lbs gotten into
32:36the best shape of his life climbed out
32:38of debt moved from Guam to San Francisco
32:41and quit his corporate job but was still
32:43able to provide for his wife and six
32:45children similarly 30-something Joshua
32:48Becker a husband and father of two
32:49living in Vermont simplified his
32:51Suburban Family Life using minimalism
32:53while maintaining his job at a local
32:55church and helping other people learn
32:57more about minimalism through his
32:58website becoming minimalist Leo babata
33:01and Joshua Becker proved to us
33:02minimalism wasn't only for single guys
33:04who didn't want to work a N9 to-5 it was
33:07for anyone interested in living a
33:08simpler more intentional life it was for
33:11anyone who wanted to focus on the
33:12important aspects in life rather than
33:14the material possessions so heavily
33:15linked to success and Happiness by our
33:17culture in fact on our website we have a
33:20page dedicated to defining minimalism in
33:22a tongue-in-cheek way poking fun at the
33:24cynics and Skeptics who treat minimalism
33:26as a Trend or fad we start our
33:28definition with to be a minimalist you
33:31must live with fewer than hundred things
33:33and you can't own a car or a home or a
33:35TV and you can't have a career and you
33:37have to be able to live in exotic places
33:39all over the world and you have to write
33:41a blog and you can't have children and
33:43you have to be a young white male from a
33:45privileged
33:46background okay we're joking obviously
33:49but people who dismiss minimalism as a
33:50fat usually mention some of the above
33:52quote unquote restrictions as to why
33:54they could quote unquote never be a
33:56minimalist the truth is minimalism isn't
33:58about any of those things but it can
34:00help you accomplish almost all that
34:02stuff if you're so inclined if you
34:04desire to live with fewer than 100
34:06things or not own a car or travel all
34:08over the world minimalism can help but
34:11that's not the point the point is
34:13minimalism is a tool to help you achieve
34:14freedom freedom from Fear freedom from
34:17worry freedom from overwhelm freedom
34:19from guilt freedom from depression
34:22freedom from enslavement Freedom real
34:25Freedom a minimalist can however own a
34:27car and a house and have children and a
34:30career minimalism looks different for
34:32everyone because it's about finding what
34:33is essential to you there are tons of
34:35successful minimalists who do some or
34:37all of these things see
34:39minimalist.org
34:46question what is minimalism minimalism
34:50is a tool we use to live a meaningful
34:52life there are no rules rather
34:54minimalism is simply about stripping
34:55away the unnecessary things in your life
34:58so you can focus on what's important
35:00ultimately minimalism is the thing that
35:01gets us past the things so we can focus
35:03on life's most important things which
35:05actually aren't things at all minimalism
35:07has helped us in several ways including
35:09reclaiming our time ridding ourselves of
35:12excess stuff enjoying our lives
35:14discovering meaning in our lives living
35:16in the moment focusing on what's
35:17important pursuing our passions finding
35:20happiness doing anything we want to do
35:23finding our missions experiencing
35:25Freedom creating more consuming less how
35:28has minimalism helped us with these
35:29things minimalism is a lifestyle Choice
35:32minimalists choose to get rid of the
35:34unnecessary in favor of what's important
35:36but the level of specificity is up to
35:38you minimalists search for happiness not
35:41through things but through life itself
35:43thus it's up to you to determine what is
35:45necessary and what is Superfluous to
35:47your life throughout this book we will
35:49give you some ideas of how to determine
35:51these things and how to achieve a
35:52minimalist lifestyle without succumbing
35:54to a strict code or a set of rules a
35:57word of warning it isn't easy to take
35:59the first few steps but the journey gets
36:01much easier and more rewarding the
36:02further you go but the first steps into
36:05minimalism often take radical changes in
36:07mindset actions and habits so if we had
36:10to sum it up in one sentence we would
36:12say minimalism is a tool to eliminate
36:14life's excess focus on the essentials
36:17and find happiness fulfillment and
36:20freedom embracing
36:22minimalism it was as our lives were
36:24spiraling downward in ever diminishing
36:26circles toward Oblivion that we embraced
36:28minimalism it was a beacon in the night
36:31we feverishly scoured internet page
36:32after internet page looking for more
36:34information and guidance and
36:36Enlightenment watching and learning and
36:38trying to understand what this whole
36:39minimalism thing was about through
36:41months of research while we removed our
36:43anchors we traveled further and further
36:45down the rabbit hole and over time we
36:47discovered a group of people without a
36:48lot of things but with Myriad happiness
36:51and passion and freedom things for which
36:53we desperately yearned eventually we
36:55embraced these Concepts the concepts of
36:57minimalism and simplicity as a way of
36:59life and we discovered we too could be
37:01happy but it wasn't through owning more
37:03stuff it wasn't through accumulation we
37:06took back control of our lives so we
37:07could focus on what's important so we
37:09could focus on life's deeper meaning
37:11happiness as far as we are concerned is
37:13achieved internally through living a
37:14meaningful life a life that is filled
37:16with passion and freedom a life in which
37:18we can grow and contribute to others in
37:20meaningful ways these are the bedrocks
37:22of Happiness not
37:24stuff creating the
37:27minimalists in the summer of 2010 we had
37:29no intentions of writing non-fiction
37:31online or starting a website about
37:32minimalism but then almost accidentally
37:35Joshua met Colin right in person while
37:37on a trip to New York City in June
37:39meeting Colin solidified his online
37:41Persona his personality Shone through in
37:43person displaying layers of happiness
37:45and contentment that didn't seem
37:47possible to a discontented man
37:48approaching 30 living on the corporate
37:50Continuum they met in Manhattan after
37:53connecting on Twitter Joshua had been
37:55writing fiction throughout his 20s
37:56whenever he had a free moment outside of
37:58work he knew Colin earned a living
38:00online by publishing his own material so
38:02he wanted to pick Colin's brain about
38:03self-publishing when they met for lunch
38:05Colin encouraged Joshua to explore the
38:07non-traditional route of publishing his
38:09fiction citing several resources that
38:11would later become helpful see
38:25asymmetrical.bob
38:27during that meeting Colin said one thing
38:29that stuck with Joshua the one thing
38:31that led him to team up with Ryan to
38:32create the minimalists you should do
38:34something online you can make a
38:36difference the world needs people like
38:38you to help them see things clearly Josh
38:41wrote those words in his journal they
38:43stuck with him long after the meeting
38:45and with those words we decided to
38:46create the minimalists we wanted to do
38:49two things with our website we wanted to
38:51document our personal Journeys into
38:52minimalism and we wanted to help other
38:54people live more meaningful lives using
38:56using minimalism as a foundation we
38:58started building the site in November
39:002010 and quickly discovered we were
39:02clueless about how to create a website
39:04we didn't know the first thing about
39:05HTML or blogging or writing non-fiction
39:08online sure Joshua had his fiction
39:10writing experience which helped with our
39:12writing but we were clueless about the
39:14rest so we did extensive research and
39:16built our site over a 6- week time frame
39:18laboring vigorously until the last
39:20minute for an in-depth look at how we
39:22created our website read our essay how
39:24to start a successful blog at mist.com
39:27blog we officially launched the minimal.
39:30on December 14th 2010 and so there we
39:33were two suit and tie corporate guys
39:36taking advice from some Millennial
39:37blogger we had started a website
39:39documented our entire journey into
39:41minimalism and started writing a few
39:43essay a week for the site then several
39:45months of unexpected excitement
39:46transpired and our lives changed within
39:499 months of creating our website we met
39:51some of the most amazing people on the
39:52internet eventually turning those online
39:54relationships into real life friendship
39:56ships including the aforementioned Leo
39:58bab and Joshua Becker as well as Myriad
40:00others among them Julian Smith Chris
40:03Gilbo and Courtney Carver with the help
40:05of many of these outstanding folks as
40:07well as our small number of initial
40:08readers relentlessly sharing our essays
40:11our website grew exponentially within 9
40:13months we had over 100,000 monthly
40:15readers by that time people were
40:17spending over 11,000 hours on our site
40:20each month we had been featured on
40:21popular websites all over the web we
40:23received the most incredible emails
40:25about how we changed people lives with
40:26our essays as a consequence we both left
40:29our corporate jobs and began focusing
40:31full-time on living more meaningful
40:33lives to read more about our exit from
40:35the corporate worlds read chapter 7 of
40:37our Memoir everything that remains or
40:39Joshua's essay why I walked away from my
40:41six figure career at minimal.
40:44quit what it means to live a meaningful
40:47life what does it mean to live a
40:49meaningful life generally through our
40:51essays and books we speak of minimalism
40:53as a tool that has allowed us to pursue
40:54more meaningful lives so it's important
40:56we Define what this means after much
40:58cerebration deliberation discussion
41:01research and experimentation we
41:03discovered five values that allow us to
41:05live a meaningful life number one Health
41:08number two relationships number three
41:11passions number four growth number five
41:15contribution it took us months of
41:17removing the anchors from our lives and
41:19getting rid of the Clutter that
41:20surrounded us to uncover these five
41:22values we didn't stumble into them
41:24though instead we discovered what was
41:25most important in our lives through
41:27trial and error minimalism made this
41:29discovery possible by 28 everything in
41:32our lives seemed foggy we had everything
41:34we were supposed to have everything our
41:36culture advertised would make us happy
41:37and yet we weren't worse we had reached
41:40a point at which we didn't know what was
41:41important anymore getting rid of the
41:43clutter in our lives allowed us to
41:45ReDiscover these five key areas thus
41:47getting rid of our stuff was the initial
41:49bite at the Apple allowing us to make
41:50room to fill our lives with more
41:52meaningful Pursuits through months of
41:54rigorous documentation the the five
41:56values are the areas we Chang in our
41:58lives that had the largest positive
42:00effect and resulted in more satisfaction
42:02and contentment for the two of us the
42:04following five chapters discuss each of
42:06these Concepts in depth much more so
42:08than can be discussed on our website
42:10throughout these chapters we consider
42:11why these five values are the most
42:13important areas of our lives and how
42:14minimalism has allowed us to focus on
42:16these values citing personal examples of
42:19how we changed our lives in all five
42:20areas the book's Final Chapter
42:23Confluence binds together these five
42:25values and asks the reader some
42:26important questions about their life
42:28these questions are not rhetorical they
42:30are meant to make you think take notes
42:32and make lists based on those questions
42:35similarly as we stated in the books
42:36forward we encourage you to actively
42:38engage in all the chapters by reading
42:39the content more than once writing notes
42:41in the margins highlighting meaningful
42:43passages making your own lists and most
42:46important taking action ultimately this
42:49book is meant to make you take little
42:50actions each day that will radically
42:52improve your life over time let's begin
42:54shall we
42:58[Music]

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