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Mindfulness for Mental Health — Transcript

by Jessica Honig · 3,930 words · 771 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00thanks for joining me here i'm jessica
0:02honig a clinical social worker
0:04and writer on mental health and
0:06mindfulness
0:08mindfulness its basic definition is to
0:11be aware
0:13compassionately in the present moment
0:17or how i translate it to be aware as you
0:20choose to be
0:21at any given moment for instance the
0:24nature of the universe as we have
0:26learned hard in the past year
0:29as it's 2021 february when i record this
0:33the nature of the universe is change
0:36but no matter the change no matter the
0:38chaos
0:40mindfulness is the type of thing that
0:42helps us to anchor into a still quiet
0:44place
0:45or a point in direction of our choosing
0:49direction of our choosing is as you can
0:52imagine
0:54though not ideal for someone in acute
0:57stages of recent trauma
0:59however direction of our choosing can be
1:03so
1:03empowering for those among us who
1:06our history of complex or chronic
1:09traumas
1:11invalidations and oppressions
1:14mindfulness can lead to an empowering
1:16choice
1:17a choice in this moment this
1:20point in time
1:25[Music]
1:27i put the mindfulness starting point
1:30from the inside out
1:36allowing myself to practice less social
1:40cultural and even familial ways of being
1:44this helps me find my true source
1:48as inspired by this visual our true
1:51source
1:52our true nature often
1:56is a thing that can blossom into a
1:58wonderful thing
1:59like the butterfly
2:00[Music]
2:04so my true source it is my still quiet
2:08place where i am more present
2:11less entrance trance is that funny word
2:15to code automatic pilot
2:17a reactive living that's the idea i
2:20suppose of a mindful lifestyle to be
2:22more present
2:24less entrance it's more authentic
2:28living and less because keeping up with
2:31the joneses
2:37ah there i am speaking of trance
2:41here is what i look like a large
2:45percentage of the time
2:48here's a dose of mindless trance in a
2:51moment
2:52i had earlier today i placed the minty
2:56toothpaste
2:57the minty toothpaste on my toddler's
2:58toothbrush and the bubblegum flavor on
3:00my own
3:02i obviously was not fully present in
3:05that moment
3:06i was thinking about how excited i was
3:08to talk to y'all about mindfulness of
3:10course
3:11my head was somewhere else not focused
3:14on minty versus bubblegum toothpaste not
3:18focused on that moment with me and my
3:20child
3:21okay so i was happy with my toothpaste
3:24flavor
3:25for sure but my daughter she was
3:28screaming at me
3:28mint mint
3:32hurting people are things most often
3:34hurting ourselves
3:36based on space outs or carelessness or
3:38worse
3:39because of the chaos inside it's
3:42unhealthy in the least
3:44it's human though it's human it doesn't
3:48have to be
3:49accepted for all the time
3:52or define who we are it's human but it's
3:56kind of unhealthy
3:57it's a different kind of pandemic than
4:00kovid
4:01we're running around barely noticing
4:03that we are
4:04what we are doing or doing 40 things
4:07at once when all we want all we want is
4:10a slower more fulfilling lifestyle
4:14mindfulness is the ticket back
4:17to a healthier now ah
4:23so i like to break down for myself
4:26and clients the mindful ticket
4:30and where it takes us in a journey of
4:34three steps
4:35[Music]
4:36step one let's get clear about
4:40what you wish to pay attention to based
4:43on circumstances
4:45or core values we call this
4:48your intention set
4:52an intention based on core values being
4:54those
4:55things personal and unique to you that
4:58you wish to devote thought
4:59action feeling states and experiences
5:02toward
5:02[Music]
5:05step two set that intention
5:08to live a moment or a set of moments
5:12according to said attentiveness
5:17and core values in the bonus
5:21perks of moments they are as short as
5:24long as you want to make them
5:26the moment you define how long it is
5:30so again step one is to get clear about
5:33what you want to
5:34pay attention to what your core values
5:36are what
5:38you want to be more intentional about
5:42then set your intention form it into a
5:45sentence a phrase or two
5:47maybe boil it down to a word
5:50i wish for calm calm
5:54and then in step three show up and show
5:57back
5:57up with humility sense of humor
6:00perspective
6:01that this now moment this moment right
6:04here right now
6:06you can show up with that humility that
6:09sense of humor that perspective
6:11and grow a mindful practice so what you
6:14mean by mindful practice is just showing
6:16up in this way
6:17[Music]
6:18just being elevating your focus on
6:23wherever you set your intention when we
6:26try to show up and we try to show back
6:28up
6:28as we choose as we intend
6:32as efficiently as possible
6:37the image i often provide to clients is
6:40the balance beam
6:42our being present our intentional living
6:46somewhat synonymous with mindful living
6:50we do it through
6:53getting on and off our practices in life
6:56a practice like being a gymnast on the
6:59balance beam
7:01we get on we fall back off we get back
7:03on take a few more steps
7:05a foot slips off and we
7:09gracefully re-steady ourselves ta-da
7:13on the balance beam of life we are human
7:16mindful wizard humans
7:19when we finish our conversation today i
7:21at least want you to have an idea for a
7:23healthier outlook for yourself
7:25and potentially others you deserve to
7:27show up refreshed
7:28for your own life as a healer he's a
7:31wounded healer
7:33others deserve this as well so we're
7:35interconnected after all
7:39many of us work from a place of fear and
7:42standards
7:43that we adopt rather than a calm
7:47still center point and
7:50the opposite of what i call that
7:52intuitive still center point
7:55consider to be mind pollution
7:59and mindfulness is going to help to
8:01decrease quiet the volume and what i
8:04call mine pollution mine pollutions
8:05those shoulda coulda witters
8:07the comparisons that latest jonesy thing
8:12all these pollutants turn us into
8:13automatic piloting
8:16then onward to swelling the primal part
8:18of our brain called the limbic system
8:21right around the middle point tucked in
8:22the center of the brain
8:24in a swollen limbic system prevents
8:27energy and blood flow to the wisest
8:29parts of our mind
8:31out at the front part of our brain
8:35the prefrontal cortex for wisdom and
8:38what they call executive functioning
8:40reigns
8:41responsible for what we call optimal
8:45decision making
8:46and focusing skill sets
8:50ah mindlessness reigns for so many of us
8:53in the world
8:54and our brains these days we're reacting
8:56to reactions like punching bags against
8:59punching bag
9:00without an ounce
9:04to notice time time for ourselves to
9:07pause
9:08and think clearly
9:11so let's begin again welcome back
9:16welcome back to the possibility of a new
9:20clear moment
9:23that's the gift of mindfulness i want to
9:26introduce the core concepts of my
9:28approach to mindfulness through mindful
9:29listening
9:31[Music]
9:32practicing paying attention through
9:36our listening our sound our ears
9:39to start try to digest what's being said
9:42and capture it
9:43into a tactile translation you'll need a
9:46writing utensil for this portion and a
9:48piece of paper
9:50we'll see how well you all do also a
9:53testament to how well
9:55i communicate and explain what we're
9:57about to do
9:58and then we'll practice mindfulness
10:01through some snacking
10:04let's try out this mindful listening
10:06activity
10:07to start off take a piece of paper
10:10draw a circle the circle represents a
10:14moment in time i call this a mindfulness
10:17plate
10:18it's a symbolic lens in the shape of our
10:20average dinner plate
10:22the foundational principle of
10:23mindfulness is that it is
10:25of this moment a moment
10:29again a plate one plate
10:32symbolizes or equals one moment in time
10:36welcome back i almost i often say
10:38welcome back to this moment
10:41this plate of your life yes the past
10:44happened and don't worry we're not
10:45letting
10:46anyone off the hook just try
10:49on a different state of mind for the
10:51sake
10:52of a healthy choice for you go on draw
10:55that circle
10:56the circle represents your new moon and
10:58any given moment you have the choice to
11:00create one of these sassy
11:02thingamajiggers as a mindset
11:04powerful enough right well make a
11:06mistake have a crappy conversation or a
11:09hiccup during the day boom fresh start
11:11new moment new plate
11:16next please draw a slight dividing arc
11:19that creates a small portion on your
11:21plate in a larger
11:23space for a large portion like a main
11:26entree it's going to look something like
11:29a kitty plate
11:30and you want to space enough as i
11:31mentioned as a side
11:33portion for a little bit of peas like a
11:36small
11:36corner designated through the arc
11:40cutting across the circle this little
11:43section of your mindfulness plate
11:45that's reserved for your personal
11:47subjective universe
11:50we'll get to that in a moment label that
11:53little pea-sized portion
11:54experiences go ahead write that word
11:57experiences
11:59to code that small portion on your plate
12:04first let's talk about the main entree
12:07the bigger portion there
12:08please label that noticing this is the
12:12larger space it represents the main
12:14emphasis and what we
12:15are trying to pay attention to a
12:18healthiest state of mind in any given
12:20moment
12:22we are noticing what we choose to pay
12:24attention to
12:26through our intentions our intentional
12:28choices
12:30we are when noticing is the main entree
12:33of our plate of life we are simply
12:35noticing mostly through our senses
12:37that's the essence of being a heart
12:39pumping senses at play and lungs
12:41breathing
12:42we see we hear we touch we smell things
12:45and we taste things
12:47[Music]
12:50human
12:54voila so here's what you basically
12:57constructed
13:00and it's done through a bit more of a
13:02scientific looking grid
13:04than a symbolic dinner plate
13:08let's look at the smaller portion the
13:10experiencing here for a moment
13:16right about this right here
13:21when we're experiencing
13:25we are it's kind of
13:29what makes us awesomely human but many
13:32of us
13:32are quite vulnerable especially if we
13:34have debilitating affect or worry states
13:38and the peas could spill over all over
13:40the plate of life
13:42we lose sight and our main entree gets
13:44covered up when we're experiencing
13:46things
13:48it's in the form of awareness as i
13:51mentioned through our thoughts
13:52our feelings our physical states
13:58we experience things subjectively
14:02no one else has the right to tell us
14:04what we're experiencing
14:06but it is a personal point of view
14:08that's an important
14:10factor that distinguishes our
14:13experiencing things from noticing
14:16[Music]
14:19for instance some people think
14:21strawberries
14:23are really yummy others think they're
14:26yucky i think strawberries
14:31are yummy it's a subjective thought
14:34based on my own opinion
14:35now let's go back to noticing what's
14:37different about noticing
14:39well noticing is something that's a bit
14:41more matter of fact
14:43it is somewhat
14:46um there were three to five people
14:49there were five people in the room
14:51rather three to five
14:53would agree that something likely
14:57could be described in a consistent way
14:59around the sight the sound the touch
15:02taste and smell considering everyone
15:05might have
15:06similar cultural linguistic
15:09or ability factors so when we notice
15:12something
15:13as matter of fact
15:15[Music]
15:16our awareness is attuned
15:20to those basic functions sight sound
15:23touch taste and when we are noticing
15:27we would stay fairly matter of fact
15:30about
15:30strawberries not
15:33really bringing in our opinion we would
15:36state
15:39strawberries taste like strawberries
15:43simply stated i taste a strawberry many
15:46people would agree
15:47but not all people could necessarily
15:49agree if strawberries are yummy
15:52okay so let's really try to digest an
15:55example of the mindfulness plate
15:56something that seems
15:58clumsy at first it becomes pretty
16:01intuitive
16:03for a direction that you can lean into
16:05for more peace of mind
16:06in a calmer state of mind
16:11so take a moment and you can put me on
16:14pause
16:16try to grab a snack for yourself let's
16:19try to be intentional in this moment
16:23quiet our nervous system let's try to
16:26eat something
16:29zooming in on noticing through one
16:32particular sense
16:34taste or you can certainly walk yourself
16:37through
16:38all senses
16:41i want you to find a snack and take a
16:45moment here
16:47take 30 seconds or so
16:52to decide that the main thing you're
16:54going to do
16:55the next moment is notice
16:59what you're tasting
17:03notice what you're tasting if you want
17:05to get really curious
17:08expansive with your paying attention
17:11your intentional living savoring as they
17:14sometimes say
17:15with your snack go ahead smell it first
17:19does it have a sound what's it look like
17:23touch it but be sure to really
17:26taste your snack how often are we just
17:29popping
17:31something into our mouths
17:35but our thoughts are elsewhere the thing
17:37we have to do next
17:39[Music]
17:40by golly you can see in that example
17:44if we're thinking about having to
17:47exercise in 20 minutes
17:49while we're enjoying our crackers before
17:54us
17:55that certainly would deplete the
17:58deliciousness
18:00this satiation the satisfaction
18:07so be here right now
18:11tasting your snack
18:16quiet the volume on any one thought
18:19feeling or sensation unless of course
18:21it's so intense
18:22like you have to go to the bathroom stat
18:25of course please do address that
18:28otherwise come back to the main entree
18:32of what you're paying attention to in
18:33this moment
18:35taste your snack
18:43[Music]
18:49[Music]
19:03[Music]
19:09wonderful okay so congratulations you
19:12showed up mindfully if you had a snack
19:16[Music]
19:18and that's because whatever was
19:21happening inside
19:22that chaotic head of yours because
19:25you're human like the rest of us
19:28whatever the mind chatter was whatever
19:30the feeling states
19:33whatever the sensation the growl saying
19:35like this is not going to be helpful
19:38[Music]
19:40well you showed up for what you planned
19:42to do
19:43and that's what made that moment that's
19:45what made that
19:46practice mindful
19:50[Music]
19:51it's easier to show up for these things
19:53that are tasty
19:55rather than for instance showing up for
19:57relatives
19:58the holidays but the principle is
20:00similar
20:02you set an intention you decide what
20:04you're going to pay attention to and you
20:06just try to let
20:07the thoughts the feelings sensations in
20:10our bodies
20:11come and go like passing clouds it's the
20:14same principle
20:20so now you know mostly how to pay
20:22attention in this
20:23noticing way this main portion of a
20:26moment in time
20:28the main portion of the mindfulness
20:30plate metaphor
20:34let's look a little bit more closely at
20:36the subjective piece because that's
20:38often what throws people off our
20:41subjective universe our peas portion
20:44our personal experiences composed of
20:47thoughts feelings and sensations we are
20:49human
20:50therefore we have this ability
20:53it just so happens that we indulge our
20:55subjective universes a little too often
20:58these side dishes if you will
21:02really spill all over our plate of life
21:04and many of us are running around
21:06seeing our world and making decisions
21:08based on them poor self-image
21:10everyone thinks you're ugly miss grammar
21:13classes in elementary school like me
21:15well everyone thinks you're stupid
21:17ah generalizations quick rapid fire
21:21escalation of our subjective universe
21:23peas spilling all over our plate of life
21:29the peas are running all over your good
21:32intentions
21:33and we can't even locate the protein
21:36portion anymore
21:38our thoughts those are things that
21:40consist of three things really
21:42our core beliefs we've collected
21:43memories and those automatic thoughts
21:45like this lady is odd
21:48they they cloud what we see hear smell
21:51taste
21:52touch in our current moment with bias
21:56your subjective universe okay that
21:59personal experience of things is not
22:02necessarily untrue
22:03no one has the right to tell you it's
22:05invalid but just remember it's
22:06potentially a smallish part of your
22:08moment
22:10not all of the moment a diet obviously
22:13appease alone well that's bland
22:15rigid and and um unhealthy same thing
22:18goes
22:19for your plate of life
22:23in your subjective universe
22:27yes so we have our thoughts our feelings
22:29our sensations and so
22:30many feelings like hope or rage and
22:32sometimes several conflicting feelings
22:34all at once
22:35we have sensations in our body like
22:37growls
22:38sweaty palms
22:41and these are a part of us but only a
22:44part of us
22:46i do encourage with these sensations
22:49these feelings these thoughts if they're
22:51on the lower end of the scales this
22:52slide indicates
22:54try to practice letting them go if
22:57they're so intense or frequent
23:00do consider speaking up or changing your
23:03situation
23:05these are good topics i encourage my
23:06clients to bring to therapy too so if we
23:09start to process the more frequent or
23:11intense distractions
23:13they will help us to stay on a more
23:17intentional path
23:18for people with high anxiety trauma or
23:21intense mood shifts basically the pews
23:23are spilling all over their plate of
23:25life
23:26with practice however a more balanced
23:28mind is possible
23:30so great work so far i want to pause
23:32here
23:33and this is a moment to just collect
23:36your thoughts
23:37[Music]
23:39maybe send me an email at honig.jessica
23:42gmail.com with any questions
23:46or reach out to me through instagram
23:50jess honig
23:57okay so we are
24:00about to try one more exercise to
24:03integrate
24:05intentional living
24:08intentional living in a more mindful way
24:12intentional being how we intend mindful
24:17is being more of the present
24:20moment with more content and wide
24:23awakeness
24:27this is what would be considered
24:31an efficient way to meditate meditate is
24:34the former practice
24:36of mindfulness there are studies that
24:39say
24:40we should be meditating for
24:42[Music]
24:43a certain amount of time every day i
24:45don't necessarily find
24:47that that is practical or accessible for
24:50all of us
24:52so this tilted frames practice is
24:57an efficient metaphor and it reboots us
25:00and needing only a couple of minutes to
25:02do so
25:04so here's an approach you can replay
25:06from time to time
25:08that i'm quite fond of quite fond of
25:10part of me
25:12and i do this particularly when i feel
25:14thrown off
25:15and it's a great practice that i
25:17introduced to many of my clients
25:19i'd like you to locate a frame for a
25:22dose of pause in perspective or you can
25:24look at the frame that's tilted on the
25:26screen
25:27wireframe you ask well i do enjoy your
25:29curiosity
25:31tilted frames sets our mind straight
25:34i'll introduce you
25:35to what i often do as my morning power
25:38meal
25:40locate a tilted frame
25:44intend to marvel
25:47we all have one nearby some of us are
25:50more comfortable letting them be
25:52before you supposedly fix it don't you
25:54dare touch it
25:56sit back relax and marvel
26:00marvel yeah marvel that's what i said
26:04quiet the rest of your mind and follow
26:07along
26:09intend to marvel just as the frame
26:11situates
26:13pause and take it in from a fresh point
26:15of view find yourself in a comfortable
26:18posture
26:18lengthening your spine to change to take
26:21in new
26:23prompt yourself to carry on steady
26:25breathing do not force your breathing
26:27remember
26:28your mindfulness is a practice
26:32of being human it's a practice of
26:35letting it be
26:36not be perfect from this posture notice
26:39the frame at first you might want to
26:41fixate on the tilt
26:45you may want to fix it based on how
26:48you've learned most
26:49other frames like it should be
26:52let it be instead let it be
26:56stay as still as possible all you're
26:58doing is looking at the frame
27:01redirect your energy from tilts and
27:04shoulds what else do you notice about
27:07the frame
27:08or neat or subtle design
27:12smooth or coarse texture
27:15take a good look at what's inside the
27:17frame
27:18thoughts feelings or physical sensations
27:21may pull you from your intention
27:23practice self-compassion do not judge
27:25nor force personal experiences away
27:28however like clouds let them pass
27:31and come back to the intention of
27:33noticing
27:34[Music]
27:35ah notice
27:38i intend to notice in this moment
27:42the tilted frame
27:46intentions are the blue sky constant
27:50same as in flight eventually we move
27:52through the clouds and clarity returns
27:54the frame is permission not to fix or
27:57fixate
27:58let go of what doesn't matter and pause
28:00long enough to notice what does
28:04pausing to glorify glorify tilted frames
28:07it's my symbol for acceptance of the
28:09self
28:10and our daily life at any age at any
28:12stage
28:13pausing in this way from time to time or
28:15noticing your world or circumstances
28:17just as it situates
28:19that broadens possibility for embracing
28:21things as
28:22they are and rests our subjective mind
28:25away from judgments or fixit compulsions
28:30all righty
28:33[Music]
28:40so let's bring this all together in
28:42summary
28:43and again i do welcome my questions the
28:46contacts listed here
28:52mindfulness in the real world why is
28:55this helpful
28:58we'll be on the numerous studies
29:00starting with people like herbert benson
29:02jack cornfield bessel vanderkolt
29:06helen wein malika chopra
29:10state it helps to soothe stress and
29:13health concerns
29:14makes us usually nicer more tolerant
29:17people to be around and
29:19i'm gonna be honest i care mostly about
29:21being more tolerant to be around
29:24ourselves
29:27it helps us most significantly to
29:29transition from a reactive lifestyle
29:32into a responsive one now reactive i
29:35think of as boom we have a thought a
29:37feeling a sensation and often subjective
29:39and intrusive
29:40and pollutant and we act on it think of
29:43a reactive living
29:45setup like former president trump's
29:47former twitter account
29:49when i first composed this and
29:52this class this course for another
29:57group that was an active twitter account
30:01for an active president and now case in
30:04point consequences
30:05as they be is life in trance
30:10former president trump has a former
30:12twitter account
30:14responsive living it's a whole different
30:16ballgame in response to living we aim to
30:18pay attention
30:19intentionally i'm going to focus on
30:21actually
30:23hearing what my child says today for
30:25instance
30:27in response of living we slow down long
30:29enough to be aware of what we intend to
30:31prioritize and also scan the personal
30:33subjective universes that may show up at
30:36any given moment
30:37we're not about ignoring that stuff but
30:40scanning it acknowledging it
30:41however unless something is and
30:43sometimes it is
30:45intense enough like that full bladder
30:47systemic racism
30:49that it needs addressing stat chances
30:52are that we can let go of it and simply
30:54be present with what we intend to pay
30:56attention to
30:57for a specific set of moments
31:00regardless when we are living
31:02responsively rather than reactively we
31:04are wiser in our choices slowed down
31:07enough to be aware
31:08and conscious that if we act on a
31:10significant
31:12thought feeling or sensation it has
31:15merit
31:17or we just say we were having a moment
31:20more along the lines of something
31:22measured and based on principle of core
31:24values
31:25that comes out of responsive living
31:27something along the lines of what pope
31:29francis might say
31:32go forth more responsively with your
31:34best intentions
31:36rather than reactive to irritants within
31:39or around us
31:40one final disclaimer that after 20 years
31:42of my own practice
31:44and doing this almost daily weekdays
31:46with clients
31:47my partner would say that i'm mindful
31:50probably only about 30
31:51of the time i'm human i guess
31:56but my point be patient these skills
31:58take ritualized spurts of practice
32:03there are skills you can always come
32:05back to like getting back on the balance
32:07beam
32:09the practice evolves into a point of
32:11view and then a lifestyle
32:12this mindfulness lifestyle may not set
32:14the world free in our lifetime however
32:17doing these things like noticing more
32:20and honoring tilted frames on a regular
32:22basis
32:22it may set your life free free to roam
32:25in the direction of your best intentions
32:28welcome back welcome back ladies and
32:30gentlemen
32:32you've got this

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