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Millionaire REVEALS: How to Get RICH! Alex Hormozi — Transcript

by Lewis Howes · 11,677 words · 1,568 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00everyone wants you to do well but just
0:01not better than them and so the people
0:03that will continue to root for you tend
0:04to be above you the closer people are to
0:06you when you're at your bottom the more
0:08they'll work for you at the bottom but
0:09as you pass them you remind them of the
0:12dreams that they gave up on whenever
0:14someone disapproves of my current
0:16activities I'd say like to be clear you
0:18would prefer I live my life the way you
0:20want to live my life okay I don't and
0:22you have absolute autonomy to live your
0:24life the way you want to live it I would
0:25prefer to build a life that the respite
0:28from my life is of the highlight you
0:30don't build confidence by shouting
0:31affirmations in the mirror but by giving
0:33yourself a stack of undeniable proof
0:35that you are who you say you are out
0:36work yourself out and so I
0:38wholeheartedly reject the notion that
0:39you can beat your chest and have
0:41Charisma because I believe that
0:42confidence without evidence is
0:44delusion I think I first had you on
0:46you're around 60 or maybe $80 million in
0:49Assets Now closer to 200 million range
0:52massive success you've grown your
0:54audience so big what has changed in you
0:56around mindset Behavior or confidence to
0:58help you unlock this next next level in
1:00the last year you I would definitely say
1:02it comes down to I think you got to have
1:04a dream the school of greatness really
1:07yeah please welcome Le how welcome back
1:10everyone at the school of greatness very
1:11excited about our guest we have the
1:12inspiring Alex heroi in the house good
1:14to see you the man who builds buys and
1:18sells massive companies worth over 200
1:20million in your assets now acquisition.
1:23comom and you have built a 5 million
1:25person following in less than two years
1:28and you had one of the biggest online
1:29events recently which I want to talk
1:31about in a moment but first off you're
1:33known for making money you're known for
1:36developing incredible habits you're
1:37known for having a chiseled physique and
1:40you're known for working extremely hard
1:43to get what you want in business and in
1:45life but we were talking about before
1:47about behaviors habits and
1:50mindsets what do you think is it within
1:53you that is allowed you to get to where
1:55you're at so quickly and obviously
1:56there's a backstory and a background
1:58we've talked about before where it was
2:00more than a decade of building yourself
2:02but really in the last couple years
2:03you've exploded without being on a big
2:06Netflix show without having a celebrity
2:08movie come out without being a celebrity
2:10you've exploded with Celebrity Status is
2:13it a mindset is it confidence is it
2:16behaviors what is it that has allowed
2:17you to get
2:19there you know I would definitely say it
2:21comes down to skills um and if we're
2:24just defining skills as things that you
2:27do when introduced to some sort of
2:28external stimulus that gets them an
2:30outcome and I think simplifying a lot of
2:33the woow woo around mindset performance
2:37confidence like all of that stuff if you
2:39can boil it down to at the end of the
2:40day even identity right all it is is a
2:43list of behaviors that we do and so I
2:46used to think earlier on when I would
2:47even explain to entrepreneurs like when
2:49I was looking at entrepreneurs we had a
2:50matrix for how we would kind of like
2:51score them so you've got you've got
2:53beliefs that will limit entrepreneurs
2:54you've got traits that will limit
2:56entrepreneurs and then you have skills
2:58and that was my kind of that was my
2:59framework for a very long time and then
3:01I um had a very long discussion with Dr
3:03cashy my closest friend and he was like
3:04I really want to challenge you on this I
3:06was like okay he
3:08said can you teach someone a trait I was
3:12like what do you mean he's like well
3:13let's say someone's uh loyal right okay
3:17you want to teach loyalty that's a
3:19trait loyalty is an amorphous word but
3:21has like a lot of laundry list of many
3:23skills underneath of it which is okay
3:25when you go out with your friends and a
3:26girl comes up to the group of friends
3:28and let's say you're married whatever
3:29ever in that instance and she says can I
3:32buy you a drink you say no do you think
3:35I can train someone to do that I was
3:36like yeah I think you could train
3:37someone to do that it's like okay now
3:40take every other line item underneath of
3:42loyalty that would be examples of
3:43loyalty those are behaviors that can be
3:45trained which means that loyalty is a
3:46skill I was like huh and he was like now
3:50let's push on beliefs right well beliefs
3:52it's like okay A belief means you you
3:54see a certain way the world is and then
3:56you behave a certain way as a result
3:57which is still stimulus response which
4:00means that you can train someone to
4:01respond based on a stimulus and so that
4:05really simplifies a lot of performance
4:09success Etc to Simply like what do I
4:12need to do when this condition is
4:13presented and then you get out of the
4:16like how are my emotions feeling and I
4:19need to think positively and all of
4:21these things into simply like you can be
4:24as negative as you want you can be as
4:25fearful as you want you can be as angry
4:27as you want you can be as ashamed as you
4:28want if you still post this amazing
4:32piece of content in any of those
4:33emotional states it will still perform
4:35the
4:36same and so it's just that like the
4:38doing has to get done right no matter
4:41what and that's the only thing that
4:42moves the ball forward and I think a lot
4:45of it is been able is is cutting out a
4:47lot of the fluff and the noise that is
4:49very loud in the marketplace of the
4:51hundred things you all have to do in
4:53order to be successful
4:56when I know just like you do a ton of
4:58incredibly suc successful entrepreneurs
5:00and their habits are actually incredibly
5:02varied some are night owls some are
5:05morning people some work all the time
5:07some only like to work a couple hours a
5:09week some are huge and realistic you
5:10know like there's the some are super
5:12healthy and health obsessed and others
5:14you know are warm buff it drinking Coke
5:15and eating in McDonald's so whenever
5:18there's these rules that people like to
5:20put on and everyone wants to have these
5:21rules because they want to think okay if
5:23I do what Warren Buffett does then I'll
5:24get what Warren Gets but what they do is
5:25I think they emulate the wrong part of
5:27Warren Buffett and so should they be
5:30emulating you have to look back in time
5:32and I think that's one of the things
5:33people model the plateau not the not the
5:35rise and so it's like uh you know we
5:37have a bunch of buddies Mutual that have
5:39exited companies for hundreds of
5:40millions of dollars and then they get
5:42like really obsessed with their health
5:44and they have these massive morning
5:46routines and they just get upset you all
5:47these supplements and red lights on us
5:49and and ice ice lues and whatever right
5:51right and and so what ends up happening
5:54is everyone who's watching says oh this
5:56person's successful this is what they do
5:58I should do that but they what what got
6:01them there is not what they're doing now
6:03right so it's like you want to model the
6:04rise and so a lot of times the rise is a
6:06lot of imbalance it's not always healthy
6:08On The Rise no I would even getting out
6:11of like defining Health right but like I
6:13would say that there's there're absolute
6:14trade-offs and it's just whether or not
6:16you're willing to pay the price for it
6:17and I think then we we can we can take
6:19off the label of like this is good this
6:20is bad this is healthy this is unhealthy
6:23and just simply say like if the Nikes
6:25that you want on the wall are $500 that
6:27is the price you can just choose to pay
6:29it or not not but if you choose to pay
6:30the $500 for the Nikes you don't then
6:32say this was unhealthy or this was bad
6:35or you label it you just make the trade
6:37and I think that that's where a lot of
6:39people spend all this time analyzing
6:41themselves like feeling about their
6:43feelings thinking about their thoughts
6:45rather than just executing like one of
6:48the best morning routines I can I can
6:50recommend to any person on earth is that
6:51you wake up and you decrease the time
6:53between when you wake up and when you
6:54start
6:55working like I I need 90 minutes before
6:58I can really it's like if you're looking
7:00for those types of financial results
7:01totally yeah yeah if you want more of a
7:03balanced life and you love your morning
7:05routine to be chill and relaxed do you
7:07then know you're going to get totally
7:09the the results that what you put in
7:10there yeah do you think it's possible to
7:13get extremely wealthy or amass a large
7:16sums of wealth by having a lazy
7:20mindset I really like this question I
7:22don't know if it's where where you were
7:24wanting me to go but I do like the
7:25question a lot um so I yes for probably
7:30a different reason that people might
7:32expect
7:33so I actually think in some ways the
7:35lazier you are if you can get over the
7:37initial hump the more successful you can
7:39be because what happens is if you give a
7:40hardworking person a problem they give
7:42you a hardworking solution if you give a
7:44lazy person a problem they'll give you a
7:45lazy man solution what's the easiest way
7:47to do this right and a lot of times some
7:49of the best problems in the world get
7:50solved by deciding they're not problems
7:51what do you mean it's like uh let's say
7:55let's say Lela says you know babe and I
7:58don't like being called babe right now I
8:00could I could have a huge discussion
8:02about this and this is our plan so we
8:04can you know get you out of saying this
8:05because it makes me feel this way it
8:07reminds me of my mom whatever right or
8:09you just let it go or I decide that it's
8:11not a problem and it's way faster to
8:13solve problems that way by deciding
8:14they're not problems to be in with
8:15interesting and um and so with from the
8:17lazy the lazy men's perspective I I'm a
8:20big believer in working smarter not
8:22harder with the massive caveat that you
8:26have to work incredibly hard to get
8:28smart so what do you mean by that you
8:30have to have a massive amount of skills
8:31you have to overcome your limiting
8:32beliefs you've got to get more knowledge
8:35take more classes develop yourself build
8:38more confidence let go of these St
8:39challenges in order to get to that level
8:43yeah we all have to pay down the most
8:44expensive debt that we all pay every day
8:46which is the debt of not knowing
8:48ignorance debt and like every single I
8:50mean I love this uh this close that I
8:53saw at a presentation years ago and I
8:56just it's just so good so man's looking
8:58out the audience
9:00and he's got this whiteboard he writes a
9:01million dollars across the top and then
9:04he says ma'am how much do you make and
9:08she says $50,000 so he writes $50,000
9:10underneath the million and then he
9:12subtracts it and it says $950,000 he
9:14looks at he says every single year he
9:17said you pay life $950,000 for not
9:20knowing how to make a million
9:22dollars and so the question is like how
9:25much is it how much is that skill worth
9:27the difference that's what it's worth
9:29right whatever that difference is and
9:30however long it takes and so every and
9:32like it's one of the haunting thoughts
9:33that I have of like man why am I not
9:35making a billion dollars a year it's
9:36like because right now I'm paying $800
9:38million a year in ignorance tax for not
9:40knowing how to make a billion right or
9:43to be fair or relationship tax or IGN
9:44tax or whatever right yeah timing tax it
9:47could be a timing thing it could be you
9:49know are you in the right industry thing
9:50whatever it might be and you got to I
9:52mean obviously this is for people that
9:54you know you don't have to be a
9:55billionaire or make a million yeah it's
9:57like okay do I want to be at 100,000 do
9:59I want to be at 70,000 do I want to be
10:01at 350 or whatever it is first off why
10:03do you want to be there why is it
10:05important for you and are you willing to
10:07pay the price to be there if not then
10:09it's okay live your life yeah you I was
10:12just you won you're not you're not
10:14obsessing over something I was just
10:15watching the show alone I don't know if
10:16you ever watched this show it's
10:18fascinating it's about people that live
10:20alone in Wilderness and they have to
10:22survive okay it's on a History Channel I
10:24think it's actually incredible I'm like
10:26I could last maybe 3 days you know it's
10:27like as long as my fat was survive me uh
10:30it's like CU they're in Alaska it's the
10:32winter you got to do the whole thing
10:33right and you're only allowed 10 items
10:35oh so you have to choose your items
10:36wisely to be able to survive the longest
10:38you can in the
10:39wilderness and um after like 50 days
10:43there's like three people left I think
10:45it starts with 10 or 20 right and all
10:46these people leave they tap out okay and
10:48they leave and after the 50th day the
10:51people are like man you've got to they
10:54start you start to hear their mindset
10:55unravel as it gets harder and harder
10:58yeah and you have to ask they have to
10:59ask themselves why am I doing this why
11:02why do I care now there's a $500,000
11:04prize at the end for the winner but you
11:06start to hear them say like I really
11:07don't need that much yeah like I'm
11:09pretty happy like it's just my
11:11girlfriend or like my dog or like you
11:13know living on the land like I don't
11:15need a fancy big home I don't need this
11:17nice car I don't need to impress people
11:20um in a certain way like I'm happy with
11:22where I'm at and here's what I do need
11:24and this is going to bring me joy yeah
11:26but for the people that why do you think
11:29people are so obsessed with making more
11:30money though and becoming a millionaire
11:32or becoming aund millionaire or a
11:34billionaire why do people even think
11:35about it or are focused on that the whys
11:38are tough um because I can never have
11:40insight into why other people do things
11:42rather than that they do them um but I
11:44would say that it seems like at least I
11:47would say more men than women are money
11:50focused and that is probably because
11:52more women than men are finding are
11:54attracted to mates who have resources
11:58and I love this quote by idra Alba he
12:00said
12:01um men fall in love with what they see
12:05women fall in love with what they
12:07hear which is why women will always wear
12:09makeup and men will always lie oh man I
12:12just like love the quote because it's
12:14like it just it just I think speaks to
12:16the heart of you know how men and women
12:19at least socially uh measure status
12:21which is kind of the second piece which
12:22is people don't really want money
12:24especially at the highest levels of the
12:26game it's not about money at all it's
12:27about status cuz I mean you can only you
12:29can only it's only chicken and rice even
12:31at the highest levels like you can only
12:33eat so much food you can't eat gold you
12:34can't eat diamonds and after a certain
12:37point you can only consume so much so
12:38then money's only purpose is to go make
12:40more money so that you can do what make
12:42more money right people care more about
12:44status influence or power with money
12:48always that a like do they which one
12:51yeah do people care more about do you
12:52think having status yeah having
12:54influence or having power I think
12:56depends on the person honestly um I mean
12:59there's definitely from everything that
13:01at least my beliefs around the world I
13:03think there are people definitely who
13:04prefer to be behind the scenes and
13:05moving things making the world the way
13:07they want it to be and then there are
13:09other people who prefer to have uh and
13:12that's also huge influence it's just one
13:13is uh credit with the influence and
13:17sometimes it's credit without the
13:18influence um or the or the the reverse
13:21and so I don't know if I can answer for
13:23for all of those people but I think the
13:24motivations for making money can be
13:26diverse but I think if I had if I had to
13:28generalized with the the broadest
13:29brushstroke I would say for men
13:31specifically we get more status and we
13:33have more money do you think that's what
13:35men are chasing more as a status to of
13:37it really yeah if women all of a sudden
13:39only want if they if the hotness of the
13:42girl was directly correlated with how in
13:43shape the guy was there' be way more in
13:45shape guys right I mean let's let's
13:48let's flip the script because we
13:49actually have some evidence on this so
13:50like if you look at gay men in general
13:53men who are attracted to men uh the gay
13:56population I would say has the uh stigma
13:59and I say this a positive whatever a
14:00positive stigma is of being more in
14:02shape than straight guys really yeah oh
14:05my God there's way more like tons of
14:07super and shaped gay guys because men
14:10look they they fall in love with what
14:12they see and they're both they're both
14:15physically fit they both and so they're
14:16both men and so gay men will be have to
14:18be or try to be in better shape i' would
14:20say on average than straight men right
14:22because the person they're trying to
14:23attract has a different Honey Trap you
14:25can be a fat slob and if you're a
14:26billionaire you're going to get whatever
14:27girl you want un necessarily whatever
14:29girl we want but you will get a girl
14:30that you could probably still brag about
14:32right right right we're speaking in
14:33generalizations but this is overall is
14:35what you're you're seeing here yeah why
14:37do you think people are what do you
14:39think is keeping people trapped in
14:42staying average in their life or not
14:44wanting to go beyond where they're
14:46currently at is it confidence behavior
14:50skills identity beliefs what you know
14:53combination what keeps people trapped in
14:54being average I think if you were to ask
14:57them many of them would say something to
14:58the extent of I'm afraid of failing if
15:01you like peeled it back but I actually
15:03think that's false I don't think
15:05anyone's afraid of failing I think
15:07everyone's afraid of other people seeing
15:08themselves fail and getting judged for
15:11it and that's what keep people trapped
15:13right because what it is is a loss of
15:15status right they're afraid of a loss of
15:17status and you have a GU you there's
15:20like there's short-term pain that you
15:23have to go through when you do anything
15:25new unless you're immediately successful
15:27which almost no one is you usually have
15:30to take a step back in order to take two
15:32three 10 steps forward right like if you
15:33have a high-paying job so I was a
15:35consultant for example and I had all the
15:37status for somebody at my age uh working
15:40at a you know big firm graduating three
15:42years I had all that stuff um but then
15:44when I quit that to start basically
15:46being a personal trainer at a gym that
15:48was a big decrease in status in terms of
15:50my like relative standing compared to my
15:51peers cuz now you starting something new
15:54you have to break into an industry now
15:56you don't have credibility and
15:57relationships you have to sell yourself
15:59all over again as a beginner yeah it's
16:02hard yeah and I remember when I would
16:03have uh women come to the gym be like
16:05did you go to college and I was like I
16:08mean I graduate magn from vandero yeah
16:10you know what I mean but like I remember
16:12thinking wow this doesn't matter at all
16:14it doesn't matter doesn't matter at all
16:16and so I was uh really well equipped for
16:18not what I was
16:20doing so overqualified yeah and
16:23underqualified at the same time right
16:25for the actual job and so it there's a
16:27there's a big pill of humility that I
16:29think a lot of people aren willing to
16:30take because it hurts to drop in status
16:33like you know like oh you'll get there
16:35man like Hey we're rooting for you you
16:37know and it's it's it's inter because um
16:40I remember the early days of the gym
16:41when I was like sleeping on the floor um
16:44a lot of my clients were like good for
16:46you chasing your dream you know all that
16:48stuff like really rooting for me and um
16:50you know within 9 or 12 months I had
16:52hired some people and I had a manager
16:53and I was able to not literally live at
16:55the gym sleep there um I remember pulled
16:58up one day and I walked in and like four
17:00or five ladies who've been there for a
17:01while were like ah Bossman here like I
17:04thought you're too good for us and um
17:06they were saying it in just but I knew
17:08that there was like a hair of truth to
17:10it and that was when I realized the
17:14truism like everyone wants you to do
17:16well but just not better than them and
17:18so the people that will continue to root
17:20for you tend to be above you and as you
17:22pass people cuz hate only comes from
17:25below like no one above you is hating on
17:27you because they're not thinking about
17:29you because winners focus on the goal
17:30losers focus on winners and
17:33so hard it's hard to be it's hard to be
17:36a Creator and a Critic at the same time
17:38you don't see other authors leaving
17:40negative reviews for people's books on
17:43Amazon they're not going there and
17:44saying this is the worst book ever
17:46written or you're regurgitating
17:48everything or whatever it is they're too
17:50focused on creating something and and
17:52putting their art out and they in the
17:54world it's the critics who are unwilling
17:55to try on the sidelines right that's the
17:58challenge thing so when you were saying
18:00there is when you were kind of living in
18:02the gym building yourself up and not
18:04successful you had more people rooting
18:06for you then once you started to surpass
18:08a certain level a group then they
18:10started to say okay you're you're too
18:12good for us now and so it's interesed so
18:14I like I think about this stuff a lot
18:16but the closer people are to you when
18:18you're at your bottom the more they'll
18:21work for you at the bottom but as you
18:23pass them in whatever material thing
18:25your you know Pursuit is you remind them
18:28of the dreams this is uh some
18:30paraphrasing of a conversation I had
18:31with Chris Williamson um you remind them
18:35of the dreams that they gave up on and
18:38so you you go from being the person who
18:40reminds them that they could go after
18:41their dreams to reminding them that they
18:43never went after them to begin with and
18:45then what happens at least this has been
18:46my experience is that you go through
18:48this period where no one from your
18:49hometown or who who knew you in the
18:51beginning approves and then what happens
18:54is absolute strangers from the internet
18:55who never saw the beginning become a
18:57bigger fan of you because they can
18:58relate to the story but because you
18:59weren't from you weren't their nextdoor
19:01neighbor they don't feel blame for them
19:03not having achieved whatever yet because
19:05if everyone in your friend group when
19:07you're coming up they all see that like
19:10as on some level in my opinion they see
19:12that they have the exact same access to
19:14resources opportunities that you do and
19:16then for some reason they haven't done
19:17something so it's painful because I
19:19think there's some Sting of inadequacy
19:21that they probably self- judge as a
19:22result of that now to be fair plenty of
19:24people are secure and are very happy
19:26with their lives which is awesome but I
19:27think there is definitely some people
19:29yeah who aren't as pumped about it um
19:31which then kind of gets into like to go
19:33all the way back to the very beginning
19:34we say like why don't people do the
19:36stuff that they want to do I think it's
19:38because they can't even hear their own
19:39voice because the only voice they can
19:41hear is everyone else's and they can
19:43like there's just barely a whisper and
19:45so I think like if I had to give myself
19:47a goal of what my story or Journey or
19:51trajectory has been it's been to make my
19:53voice the loudest one that I can hear
19:56and for my approval of myself to be the
19:59one that I care the most about I think
20:02epic said something to the degree
20:05of if you need someone else to Bear
20:10witness to whatever the thing
20:14is don't you should be able to be your
20:17own witness you should have enough
20:20integrity and um belief in self I'm
20:24massively paraphrasing but he said that
20:26and I just like when I've had really
20:28tough times I um I write in this diary
20:32to
20:33myself and it's to my 85-year-old self
20:36and so okay you might really find this
20:38interesting I think your audience I do
20:39like this so there's something called
20:41the Solomon Paradox are you familiar
20:42with this explain it okay so the Solomon
20:45Paradox basically states that humans
20:47give better advice to other people than
20:48they follow themselves yes and like
20:50they've proven they they whitewash stats
20:52they even describe people's own life to
20:55themselves but change the names Etc and
20:58and then say what should this person do
20:59and what they recommend the person do
21:02differs from what the person actually
21:03does and it's because we have some sort
21:05of emotional context of the situation
21:07and so then we can make logical
21:08decisions as a result and so we make
21:10poor decisions right so take that as
21:13data point1 we give better advice to
21:15other people than we follow to ourselves
21:18the second you know kind of issue that
21:19I've had overall is I've never I've
21:21never had a lot of success with the
21:23therapies and things like that
21:24personally a lot of the time it's
21:26because I feel like I have to one
21:28provide huge amounts of context for a
21:30single decision which becomes you know
21:3390% of my conversation is just trying to
21:35give context around then the session's
21:36over right exactly where we're going
21:38yeah and the third part is aligned
21:40incentives right um and I and I speak
21:42purely from a from a you know
21:44mechanistic perspective here which is
21:46that if you pay someone they want you to
21:49continue to see them 100% it just it
21:51just is what it is and you know Charlie
21:53Monger I think said people will ignore
21:55all sorts of facts if their paycheck
21:57relax on it right like he thinks the
21:59entire wealth management industry is
22:00just complete farce and so he uses that
22:02as his example cuz he's like they're
22:03incentivized to not see that they have
22:05no value at right right right then so
22:08everyone rationalizes around that and so
22:10you've got this misaligned incentive
22:11you've got someone who doesn't have
22:12context and you've also got this idea
22:16that we can give ourselves better advice
22:17than anyone else can and so in thinking
22:19about those three things together I was
22:21like maybe I can be my own therapist
22:25but don't do it for myself today
22:29talk to my 85-year-old self and so I
22:32actually run these chats it's my first
22:33morning meeting on Monday every week
22:35it's called Solomon time and so I talk
22:38about what's on top of mine now I also
22:40to self yeah yeah so I chat like it's
22:43like a DM chat so it's like hey this is
22:45what's going on right now and then it's
22:46future me like my hat changes and it's
22:50you know this is you know what would you
22:52you know why are you saying that like
22:53what you psychologically go into that
22:55state of a future you yeah that's
22:57beautiful and it's cool because that
23:00version of me it's not AIU it's no just
23:03me that version of me has a completely
23:05aligned incentive he wants me to win yes
23:08more than anyone because at the end of
23:10the day like people don't want what's in
23:13your best interest they want the version
23:15of you that serves them at any level now
23:19the closer they are like your family has
23:21tremendous alignment because if you do
23:23like if you become a billionaire they
23:24all benefit probably but they've got
23:26doubts and insecurities for sure so like
23:29they they're still flaw compared to a
23:30stranger right so it's like the closer
23:32someone gets the more natural alignment
23:34would occur where if you do well they
23:36might do well by proxy or by extension
23:37you might be able to give them a favor
23:39Etc and so that's why when you get
23:40famous um I can't remember what this
23:43quote is but like when you get famous
23:45it's actually other people I think who
23:46treat you differently because you
23:47actually have more utility because they
23:49might be able to willing to put up with
23:50stuff you're late you're you're not as
23:53responsive all these things because if
23:54you tweet their name it changes their
23:56life because there's that chance of huge
23:59utility and so people change their
24:01behavior and so anyways with Solomon who
24:04I call my older version of myself just
24:05for Simplicity sake um he has absolute
24:09aligned uh incentives he has complete
24:12context so I don't need to explain
24:13everything he already knows everything I
24:14know right and potentially more and a
24:16longer term time Horizon and as I'm
24:19going through these exercises um you
24:22know the most common ones you know the
24:23the common responses I get is what
24:25problem are we solving which is you know
24:26what classic old me would say
24:28uh number number two is um are you sure
24:31that's a problem which is more just a
24:33retort and recently I had a really tough
24:37uh thing that I went through and it like
24:38really D it probably the worst probably
24:39the worst day i' had in five years so
24:42until from the last time I I felt that
24:43bad was when my partner taking all the
24:45money that I had in my account after I
24:46sold all my gym so sold everything and
24:48then all the money was straight that was
24:49like the wor that was the worst day I
24:51had in a long time so I had one recently
24:54and
24:55um and he said this line to me this is
24:58kind of what I go through when I'm
24:59trying to think through these kind of
25:00like you know you have these these
25:02Vicious Cycles where you just keep
25:03reliving a conversation or scenario and
25:06you're like I just want to shake this
25:07right even sometimes it's you have a
25:09relationship and you break up with a
25:10person and you're like I want to get
25:11over this person whatever it is I
25:13usually need to get to this statement
25:15and once I get it it solves it it's like
25:17I just need a frame shift and I remember
25:20uh when I was getting over someone a
25:21very long time long time ago I'm married
25:22seven years now but um the statement
25:24that I needed for that situation was you
25:27you can have multiple you can only have
25:29one love of your life but you can live
25:32multiple
25:33lives I really like that I thought it
25:36was very beautiful like you don't have
25:38to you don't have to negate a
25:40relationship or the positive because
25:42what would you want to do destroy every
25:44memory you've had except for the person
25:45that you get married to that's terrible
25:46that means that every single every
25:47moment you've had in your life before
25:48that was bad which is not I don't think
25:50that's the right way to reconstruct your
25:51memory it's like I'm different now than
25:54I was then so I've lived multiple lives
25:56and I'm sure like if I look at my life I
25:57had SE clear chapter you know I'm sure
25:59you in the NFL like just you're a
26:01different person now yes and so it would
26:02make sense that you can have a love of
26:04your life then you can have a love of
26:05your life now and that was like as soon
26:07as I got that I was like I get it that
26:08was my frame shift and so with this
26:10particular bad scenario that
26:12happened I had worked really really hard
26:14for something like very very hard um and
26:18something had gone wrong that was
26:21outside of my Direct Control now I can
26:24still say everything is under my control
26:25to a degree and I can Lear from that
26:26it's like a business deal went wrong or
26:28someone lost a lot of money or exactly I
26:30lost 15 million bucks um in a day yeah
26:34it was a deal so I mean you know right
26:36and
26:37so my and so Solomon just said this
26:40statement to me and he
26:42said I know everything that you did and
26:46no one else will
26:48know and I approve and my approval is
26:52enough
26:54wow period And so who approval what
26:58you're wanting in that moment
26:59right for it not to go through right
27:02other people's whatever it is and so if
27:05the ultimate goal of my life at least as
27:07I as I say it is to become the best
27:09version of me that I can then it makes
27:12sense that to become the best version of
27:14me I have to suffer I have to go through
27:17hardships I have to fail because no one
27:19who literally wins all the time becomes
27:22you know like you don't build character
27:24through good times you build it through
27:25hard times and so it's like if I want to
27:27have strong character then I have to be
27:28willing to pay the price tag like the
27:29$500 Nikes like the price tag for the
27:33$500 shoe of a human that I want to be
27:36is tough tough stuff and so I have put a
27:41lot of effort into only judging myself
27:44on my actions not my feelings around the
27:48actions or the outcomes and so I'll give
27:50you a micro example so I am typically a
27:54pretty impatient person I always want
27:56things no I want it yesterday of course
27:58right and I've been slowly over time
28:01people have begun to describe me as a
28:03patient person which right just as just
28:06as surprised as I am you're like I don't
28:07know about that and um and so a big huge
28:11breakthrough for me was that I could
28:13feel impatient and still do the actions
28:16that align with patience and then be
28:19patient as a result and I think that
28:21that works with you know I mean any of
28:23this like you can feel unloving you can
28:24feel angry and still act loving and it
28:26doesn't mean you're unloving now that
28:27that that diverges from a lot of U
28:31classical religious uh thought so that's
28:34you know a lot of sin is in the mind Etc
28:35so like I tend to reject that um because
28:39I would rather somebody uh really really
28:41be mean to me in their head and do only
28:43nice things right to pick yeah right as
28:46a bird who be mean in their head and do
28:48mean it's like that's worse but then the
28:50flip side is Would You Rather somebody
28:51like really love you and then only make
28:52your life
28:53harder that's the real one right right
28:56because a lot of times we we are that
28:57person 99% of the time we're that to
29:00ourselves and and we tell ourselves well
29:02I had good intentions but it's like but
29:04you ended up hurting that person so what
29:05matters and we hurt ourselves more than
29:07anything and so yeah anyway so that has
29:09been my my framework that has served me
29:11really well I've heard you say a few
29:12different things so far
29:15um one of them about you know I'm coming
29:17back to the word confidence for some
29:18reason because it's a self-belief thing
29:20it's a learning how to yeah you know the
29:22fear of failure the fear of judgment
29:24which is all about it's kind of my
29:25framework with with uh you know the
29:28greatness mindset is learning how to
29:31understand and be aware of do you fear
29:33failure success or judgment and they're
29:35all kind of intertwined in some way and
29:37what we can learn that at the root of
29:39that is I'm not enough I'm not enough
29:41and that's why I'm unwilling to take the
29:43steps forward to get what I want to pay
29:45the price so I'm going to wait I'm going
29:46to hesitate I'm going to be in friction
29:49as opposed to in flow right I'm going to
29:51not put myself out there yeah and I get
29:56the specific reward rewards for doing
29:58that right and I and I pay a certain
30:00price and I get those certain rewards
30:02yeah how can we then build confidence if
30:06we don't understand the skill of
30:07confidence and we've never had it okay I
30:09love this so um statement that that that
30:14has gone incredibly viral um is that you
30:18don't build confidence by shouting
30:20affirmations in the mirror but by giving
30:22yourself a stack of undeniable proof
30:24that you are who you say you are outwork
30:26yourself out
30:27and so I wholeheartedly reject the
30:30notion that you can beat your chest and
30:31have Charisma because I believe that
30:33confidence without evidence is delusion
30:35like if someone says I can build a
30:36skyscraper and they can say it as
30:38confidently as they want but if they
30:40don't know how to build a skyscraper
30:41they're not building a skyscraper and
30:43the best way to know that you can build
30:44a skyscraper is having built one before
30:46now you might be like well well what
30:48about the first skyscraper it's like
30:50well of course he didn't build a
30:51skyscraper first he probably built a
30:53half skyscraper before house an
30:55apartment building and before that like
30:57you know a fourplex right you you build
30:59to it and it and that concept for me is
31:02what has allowed me to do well in
31:05situations where I feel like I didn't
31:07deserve to do well right like so for the
31:10the the book launch that we were talking
31:11about earlier before we got on like you
31:13know if you have 500,000 people it's a
31:15whole city right and I I truly and I
31:20people can you you watch the Vlog you
31:23like I truly wasn't
31:25nervous and it wasn't because because
31:28I'm some Zar at presenting it was
31:30because I had done the presentation
31:33full three times a day for the 30 days
31:36leading up to it so I had done it once
31:38in my mind once out loud and recorded it
31:41and then I would watch the recording and
31:43then edit my slides wow every day every
31:45day wow and so when I got there the
31:49staff was like I've never seen I'm I'm
31:51trying I'm sharing this because it it
31:53one of the hardest things to do is have
31:55context when you don't know anyone else
31:56who's
31:58doing what you want to be doing in your
31:59life and I'm not saying I'm the person
32:01that people were trying to emulate I'm
32:02just saying that maybe there's an
32:03element of that they can take from it
32:05which is when I got there the staff is
32:08like I've never seen anyone so calm for
32:10something so big and I was that was like
32:12shaking them I was like you're good
32:13we're good it's going to be okay it's
32:15GNA be okay and and the reason was I was
32:19like I've done this before I know how
32:22this presentation goes I can say it
32:24backwards and so there I have to worry
32:27about what I'm going to say because I
32:29have outworked myself out and until
32:32until I felt like of course this is this
32:36is always how it is then you don't feel
32:39like what I remember I'll rewind to the
32:41first time outw workk yourself out came
32:43out in my life so I gave this
32:44presentation to a very small 50 people
32:47and a lady in the front row said you
32:48sound so certain like how do you get rid
32:50of the impostor syndrome and I had just
32:53given a presentation on how our our
32:55sales process worked at our brick and
32:56morar gyms
32:58and I said I don't I'm not I first of I
33:01was like I don't really understand the
33:02question I was like I'm just presenting
33:03what what is I was like there's not
33:05really an opinion you can't be like Alex
33:07you didn't do that I was like I mean
33:08that is what I did like this is the
33:09exact process these are the pages these
33:11are the fob scripts this is how we
33:12schedule this how we you know everything
33:14and so there is nothing to contest and
33:17so if I'm going to make if I want to
33:20make sure that I'm confident in a
33:21situation then let's Define confidence
33:23as the percentage likelihood that I do
33:26what I say going to do and so I said I
33:29was going to present this thing and I
33:30want to make sure that I control the
33:31controllables and so for me because
33:35Solomon is always watching because if I
33:38got up there because I do have at this
33:40point I have presented enough times that
33:41I could probably still do a good job and
33:43I think many people would be like that
33:44was awesome and with not a lot of
33:47prep but I would know and Solomon would
33:50know and he wouldn't be proud of me and
33:53so it's the double-edged sword of like
33:55to make that man proud the bar is so
33:58high for what I have to do that his bar
34:01is higher than everyone else's and so if
34:03there are hateful comments or there
34:05whatever it's like your approval isn't
34:07the one that I'm going for right and so
34:09it Shields you because that's like
34:12that's why you have earned my approval
34:14and that is enough
34:16wow and so like that's been my shield
34:19during that process and we can talk
34:21about the launch stuff later but there
34:22was a key moment right where like it
34:23looked like the world was burning down
34:25during the launch really oh yeah well
34:27because I was a it was a it was a faux
34:29pitch so I looked like I was doing a
34:31huge stack and you know price anchoring
34:33and adding all these bonuses and
34:34everyone's like oh my God he's a salout
34:36like it completely turned and then I
34:38gave it away for free but for 15 minutes
34:41I could see the chat this gu yeah yeah
34:44and this a sales page yeah and I I
34:47genuinely felt absolutely a piece about
34:48it because one I knew where we were
34:51going and two I had done this before and
34:54so me walking through that process is
34:57like it doesn't require confidence it
35:00appears like confidence on the outside
35:02but if everyone saw the amount of hours
35:04that went into it it would seem obvious
35:06and so I think that's the big misnomer
35:08is that people are like he's so
35:10confident either the guy is confident
35:12because he's delusional and I mean that
35:14is in in in the truest sense like he is
35:16claiming he can do something that he has
35:17no evidence that he can do which to me
35:18would be
35:19delusional or he had lots of
35:22insecurities or concerns about his
35:24performance on XYZ and then he tried to
35:27simulate that experience as many times
35:29as he possibly could until he no longer
35:31felt afraid and so like if you want to
35:33get rid of a fear of spiders the way you
35:35do that is you lock yourself in a room
35:36with spiders and eventually and either
35:39that makes you more terrified or
35:41eventually and eventually you acclimate
35:43right eventually and then you walk out
35:44and you're like I can deal with spiders
35:46or you're
35:47traumatized either way over a long
35:49enough time Rising you would get you'd
35:50get over it cuz you'd realize that you
35:52didn't die he yes you'd wake up from a
35:54panic attack and then you'd have another
35:55one and then you have another one and
35:56then eventually like here I am I'm still
35:58the spiders yeah I'm spider boy right
36:00you know I am Spiderman yeah it's and so
36:04that that concept is is I think at the
36:06core and the reason that people don't
36:08like it as much is because it's not
36:10romantic because it sounds cool to hear
36:12me say that I did it three times a day
36:14for an entire month beforehand but it's
36:16not fun no and and it takes you takes so
36:19much time and energy it's not it's not
36:22enjoyable the rocky cut scene in movies
36:24last 2 minutes in real life might be 5
36:27years that's true and so like it's
36:29really really cool to watch it for 2
36:30minutes but when you're on your seventh
36:33month of your B business like not really
36:35making money and you quit your job and
36:37people are judging you and people are
36:38telling you hey you know maybe let's be
36:41a little more realistic you know I think
36:43you know what if hey come where it's
36:44nice and warm and safe right like get my
36:46approval right like get my approval come
36:48down here and you're seeing other people
36:50succeed or win online right and you
36:52don't see the background right like
36:54people who see me now in the last 24
36:56months be like oh my God like he just
36:58came out of nowhere it's like except for
36:59the decade before that where I built
37:01multiple very large companies to gain
37:02The credibility to be able to say what
37:03I'm saying yeah and I think and the
37:05confidence yeah from evidence right like
37:09that's that's that that's like that's
37:11everything what would you rather have a
37:15unwavering confidence or a strong
37:19mindset I don't know if they're
37:21different because I think the evidence
37:23leads to the confidence and evidence
37:25gives you the strong mindset if someone
37:26comes to me and says Alex you're a short
37:29King I was like I'm almost 6 feet tall
37:31like I'm not a short King like I don't I
37:32don't need like I'm not going to be hurt
37:34by that because I have evidence that I
37:36know that's not true right and so I
37:39think that a lot of people's
37:41feelings uh get triggered because they
37:44don't have that back stop of proof and
37:46so it's like if you want to be
37:48bulletproof give yourself evidence that
37:50you can lean
37:51on so if someone's like Alex you don't
37:53know anything about business I'd be like
37:55I totally accept that that that's your
37:56frame here's the evidence that I have
37:59and this is what that marks down on from
38:01a percentile basis of like where I'm at
38:03versus everyone else I don't think I
38:05know more than a lot of people what if
38:06you what if you were just starting out
38:08yeah and someone was saying hey you
38:10don't know anything about business or
38:11marketing or social media or whatever
38:13relationships and you don't have
38:15evidence I would agree with them and
38:17then you just got to take the time to
38:18build the evidence they're totally right
38:20and I probably shouldn't talk about
38:22business and marketing and all these
38:23things cuz I haven't done it and that's
38:25in my opinion the big underlying problem
38:29with the majority of the influencer
38:30world so there's the entertainers and
38:33then there's the Educators entertainers
38:34do their thing the Educators I believe
38:38that context is the thing that matters
38:40most so like for ex like um I'm trying
38:43trying to give a really kosher example
38:44here um how do I not say names here um
38:48about calling someone yeah
38:50so broad brush
38:52Strokes if an if somebody gets online
38:55and wants to talk about on their social
38:57Med your social media and they're like
38:58hey you need to do this and add these
38:59hashtags or whatever and you see that
39:01they have 500 followers on Instagram I
39:04don't need to listen to what they're
39:05saying to know that they don't know what
39:07they're talking about right like there
39:08was a book that was called how to Market
39:10a book and had 14 reviews on Amazon it
39:12been out for four years right and I
39:13started my presentation with that for
39:15the for the book launch and I said this
39:17is what I hate is that I don't I have
39:19evidence in the real world that nothing
39:22inside of this book works because if it
39:24did work they would have sold they would
39:26have marketed this book which they
39:27clearly didn't and so the the issue is
39:30that there's this big glaring sign above
39:32everything of the content that people
39:34are making which is the context that
39:35they're making it in and so they're
39:37trying to be a fitness expert but they
39:39don't really look like they're in shape
39:40right they want to be a marriage expert
39:42except like most people see them you
39:43know like not I don't know if I really
39:45want that marriage right and so like the
39:47it's way easier to immediately start
39:49giving advice to people and your advice
39:51might be valid but you have no proof and
39:54proof is the hard part but proof is the
39:56only thing that matters in my opinion
39:57and especially in the court of the
39:59public like waren Buffett I don't think
40:02is's a particularly charismatic
40:03individual but if he gets up and says
40:05hey guys this is you should dollar cost
40:07average into the S&P 500 for your
40:09investing somebody might be like oh my
40:12God his advice is so simple like my
40:14advice my Hunton so much better than
40:16Warren Buffett it's like you know what
40:17and it might be except you just forgot
40:18to build a hundred billion dollar
40:19company he's got proof and credibility
40:21context and the reason like I've thought
40:23about this a lot and I think the reason
40:25the context is so important is it
40:27actually becomes a faster and easier
40:28decision so as a consumer if I'm looking
40:31at a 100 different information sources
40:32because now information there's too much
40:34of it and so we have to segment signal
40:36for noise right okay how can I get all
40:38this noise out so I can just hear the
40:39stuff I want well the first thing you
40:41want to do is go to a trusted source and
40:44so if this is the richest man or top
40:45five richest men in the world and he's
40:46giving you investing advice I don't
40:48actually have to take each colonal
40:50advice and weigh it and say do I agree
40:52with this do I not agree with this you
40:54can actually take it pretty close to his
40:56truth because he has so much Authority
40:58that you think okay I will take this as
41:00it is which is less cognitive effort
41:02than listening to a teacher no offense
41:04to teachers giving investing advice who
41:08barely has a million dollar saved up and
41:09again there's nothing wrong with that
41:11but I don't think I can actually almost
41:13guarantee that your investing advice
41:14will never get as much press as Warren
41:16buffets even if your content and the
41:17production and your hashtags and all the
41:20other things are perfect you lack the
41:21one thing that matters most which is
41:22proof proof credibility and that's the
41:25part that takes 5 years or 10 years
41:27because now Ray Delio can get up here
41:29and talk and Ray you know Ray doesn't
41:32care I mean I saw I'll do I'll tell a
41:35quick story to wrap this R alio up I saw
41:38this dude on Tik Tok uh white guy older
41:41dude and he was giving Financial advice
41:44and these Tik Tok comments were just
41:45destroying him he talking about how like
41:47prepare for an economic thing whatever
41:49and so people just just Savage
41:51right the guy was R alio really because
41:55at the end of the the day everyone who
41:58doesn't know who you are doesn't know
41:59who you are and it makes sense that they
42:01would be skeptical because many people
42:02in the past have been fakers and so to
42:05want to win in the court of public
42:06opinion especially if you're coming up
42:08even with all the proof in the world
42:10doesn't matter because they don't know
42:11yet which is why you have to know so
42:14that you can take it because you know
42:16he's worth 38 billion if they're like
42:18you don't know what you're talking about
42:19he's like bothered by this yeah I don't
42:21care about your opinion or your approval
42:23right your opinion is irrelevant because
42:25I have yes now if he was worth $10 it
42:28would probably destroy him because
42:30they're right that's true and I think
42:33that's really what a lot of people
42:34reject the the opinion of other like if
42:36I had you know massive ears or something
42:39you know like I mean people right now
42:40they're like ah Alex is on Trend gear
42:42steroids whatever right like that's the
42:44that's you know some of the comments TR
42:46what does that mean it's just a it's a
42:47steroid okay um Tron gear yeah like a
42:50steroid term so there's there's Captain
42:53America gear and there's Iron Man gear
42:55right Iron Man gear is a suit Captain
42:56America G and Jack oh gosh I'm like no
43:00sorry I know nothing about that I the
43:01fitness world it's so um so they're
43:04saying you're on steroids right right
43:06and the answer is like it makes sense
43:08that they would say that because I
43:09probably have more muscle than most of
43:10the people that they know and most
43:11people have lots of muscle take steroids
43:13especially the the the professionals
43:15yeah so like should I be angry with them
43:18no it makes absolute sense that they
43:19would make that conclusion so why can I
43:20be why should I be upset by that I agree
43:22with you right I do look like a Tak
43:24thank you like would I rather them think
43:27I'm they're like oh we know he's natural
43:29like would I rather have the the r to me
43:31I'm like okay yeah and so anyways all
43:35that all that all that to say that the
43:37hard work is in accumulating the
43:40undeniable stack of evidence that you
43:41are who you say you are and the first
43:44person you have to convince is you
43:45because if you sell you because you know
43:47what you did to get here then everyone
43:49else's opinion just doesn't matter what
43:51if you're always trying to seek the
43:53approval of someone else as well as you
43:57I think it's a trade-off over time I
43:59mean I don't want to pretend like I I
44:01don't seek approval from others I think
44:02it's um but used to you know you talked
44:04about the previous episode about you
44:05know really wanting to see the pro of
44:07your father and trying to Vanquish him
44:09eventually right should we be seeking
44:11the approval of other people or is it
44:13more about our future self I think that
44:16the approval seeking behavior is super
44:20difficult to break in general because as
44:22children we are trained to be humans
44:25through approval right like you did well
44:27you did not like and that's how you
44:28learn how to be human to survive right
44:30exactly across the street yeah I mean
44:31like there's so many reinforcing events
44:33that that make it that I will listen to
44:35the the opinion of others you get older
44:37you find out that they don't know what
44:38they're talking about but um I think
44:41that there's the reason that a lot of
44:42people who are like really into uh
44:44classical religions is that they just
44:46switch who they get approval from they
44:48get approval from their Heavenly Father
44:50which you might as well say that Solomon
44:51for me is my heavenly father in my own
44:53way I just you know characterize the
44:55future version of myself that is
44:56idealized and ask him he thinks I should
44:59do but fundamentally I don't know if
45:02I've necessarily gotten rid of that
45:03approval I've just shifted where I try
45:04to get it from ah so you're not seeking
45:06from others like audiences that you
45:08don't know you're seeking from your fut
45:10yeah that's big but if you're real about
45:12it if you're really real about it then I
45:15think it's a highest bar because that
45:18guy knows whether you cut Corners that
45:20guy knows whether you could have done
45:22another rewrite of the book that guy
45:23knows if you could have just taken a a
45:26little bit more time to make this better
45:27that guy knows if you could have prep
45:28for That interview longer than you did
45:31and so if you can earn that guy's
45:33approval then you walk into the
45:35interview completely unshaken because
45:36you already won because that guy knows
45:39what you did to get there and so then
45:41you can be Loosey Goosey right you're
45:44relaxed and not stressed about it
45:46perspective what else do you think keeps
45:48people trapped in in not reaching their
45:50potential so if we if we were to if we
45:53take the reverse of like what what
45:54guarantees someone's success right it
45:56would be that they do the things that
45:57create succcess and so I think we'd have
46:00to boil it down to what are the
46:03obstacles to taking action so either you
46:07take the wrong actions which is a
46:09knowledge deficit which is why everyone
46:10who's listening to this it's like you
46:11want to learn right which is great and
46:14just for some fun definitions for
46:15everyone here um I Define learning as
46:20same same circumstance or same condition
46:23different Behavior meaning if if I show
46:26you a flash card that's red and then I
46:28slap you if I show you the flash card
46:30again and you duck then you have learned
46:33same condition new
46:35Behavior intelligence is the rate of
46:38learning so how quickly do you change
46:40your behavior with the same condition so
46:42if I show someone a red flash card and
46:44then I slap them and I show them again
46:45they don't move and I slap them I show
46:47it again and I slap them like what are
46:48you right the rate of learning is not as
46:50fast and so to the same degree and this
46:52is for I know this this going to I'm
46:54going to I'm going to poke my finger in
46:55this hole real quick for everyone who's
46:57listening to this if you continue to
46:59listen and listen and listen and listen
47:02and your conditions externally have not
47:04changed and your behaviors have not
47:06changed then it means you have learned
47:07nothing you've learned it but you
47:09haven't applied it well definition same
47:12condition the behavior if the behavior
47:13doesn't change you did not learn you
47:16spend time watching something yeah sure
47:17heard it but you haven't learned it
47:19right you learn through a change in
47:21behavior and so going back to why are
47:24why do people not change their behavior
47:27I think that there's sure there's lots
47:29of fear of punishment from and so like
47:32you can try and take this apart as
47:33saying okay I need to increase the
47:35reward I need to decrease the punishment
47:37um that people associate with with
47:39taking action right so it's like okay
47:41the whole first part of this
47:42conversation was about decreasing the
47:44punishment associated with taking action
47:46and to a degree if you can make approval
47:48of your of yourself higher than other
47:50people then that also gives you a reward
47:52for taking action now there's also an
47:54element of ignorance which is like you
47:55might take the wrong action but I can
47:57promise you if you're taking action
47:58you'll figure it out pretty quick yeah
48:00like that part this isn't working okay
48:02let me try this thing the the third
48:04piece is environment which is at the
48:07most mental extreme level if I'm chained
48:09to a wall right and someone says go pick
48:12up the soda over there I might have all
48:16the right skills in the world to do it
48:17but I have environmental conditions that
48:19prevent me from doing it and so it's
48:21like I don't have a fear I have a clear
48:23reward I have the skills to do it but
48:25environmental conditions that prevent me
48:27and so one of the one of the easiest
48:29ways to change behavior is to change
48:30your environment like if if I so BF
48:35Skinner is a really famous
48:36behavioralist um and he came on the
48:38space and got a lot of flak because he
48:40had very controversial views but he has
48:42this quote that it's just
48:44like he says you know the old saying if
48:46you lead a horse to water you can the
48:49old saying is you can lead a horse to
48:51water but you can't make it drink he
48:53said well if I bled the horse and I
48:56dehydrated it enough and I put the water
48:58right in front of its mouth he said I
48:59can veritably guarantee that I can make
49:01a drink and the idea there is that if
49:03you can if you can control enough of the
49:05environment you can get anyone to do
49:07anything which is to the same degree we
49:09we even kind of accept this culturally
49:11as like if someone kills somebody we say
49:14was there temporary insanity what were
49:15the
49:16extraneous conditions that created this
49:18Behavior now if there's like he you know
49:21he came home from the military and his
49:22wife was in bed with somebody and he
49:23just went into a fit of rage well that
49:25was a condition now we then say the guy
49:27who you know premeditated in that that's
49:30a bad guy then you you you zoom out a
49:33little bit more and you're like well
49:33what conditions created that behavior so
49:35these conditions are excusable and these
49:37conditions aren't which gets into a
49:38whole different argument but the point
49:39is is that if you want to change your
49:41behavior the strongest way to do it is
49:43to Simply change your environment
49:45because you can you can have huge Leaps
49:47and Bounds in how much your behavior
49:49changes without even having to get
49:51better which is why um one of the one of
49:53the the best ways to get good at
49:55anything is to join a team of people who
49:57are excellent at that thing and you know
49:58this from the sports world like if you
50:00can join a championship team you
50:02automatically adopt the cultural norms
50:04the rules of behavior of that group and
50:06you either get assimilated or you get
50:08rejected if the culture is strong enough
50:09championship team and so that is the F
50:12now if you get into that team and all of
50:15a sudden your your game just levels up
50:17you know five you know five years faster
50:19than it would otherwise is it because
50:20you've inherently changed or because you
50:22changed your environment and so I think
50:23that that is the absolute shortcut the
50:25the cheat code to getting what you want
50:28is changing everything around you so
50:30like if everybody around you is poor
50:32don't listen to them about how to get
50:34rich and don't seek their approval for
50:36your behavior because everything that
50:37they're going to approve of is keeping
50:38you where you're at and so I think if
50:40you if you have enough money to leave
50:41home then do so if you can't leave the
50:45town you're in then move across town
50:47just go 30 minutes away just go on the
50:48other side of town make it more
50:50convenient to do the things that you
50:51want to do and make it less convenient
50:52to hang out with the people and do the
50:54stuff that you don't want to be doing
50:55and if you do enough of those make it
50:57easier make it harder trade-offs
50:59eventually you start doing more of the
51:00stuff that you want to do and less of
51:01the stuff you don't and that compounds I
51:03think a lot of times that is a lot
51:04easier than trying to willpower your way
51:06through anything because willpower is
51:08finite but if you can change the
51:10environment it actually makes it easier
51:11so you're actually not using any
51:12willpower if there are if there is no
51:14ice cream in the freezer and you have to
51:16get in your car to then go somewhere to
51:18get the like it's a lot hard it's a
51:20bigger thing right so it's like how can
51:22I make it as inconvenient as possible to
51:24do the things that I don't M that I know
51:26are going to influence me to do bad
51:28things as well just got to delete
51:30Postmates
51:31next and so that's like the triangle if
51:33I was looking at somebody who like why
51:35are like why are you not doing what you
51:37want to do what's the triangle again you
51:39fear some sort of punishment which we
51:41can reframe as failure isn't failure
51:44only your fear of your fear of judgment
51:46upon failure is the thing that you're
51:47afraid of you can reframe reward as like
51:50I want to get my own approval rather
51:51than some external outcome because if
51:53you knock on 100 doors and you don't
51:54make a sale and you're getting solar
51:55sales now you might have gotten rid of
51:57the fear of rejection but you haven't
51:59gotten the win yet and you're like oh
52:00maybe this isn't for me and so if you
52:02can change what you're measuring
52:04yourself on to the activities rather
52:06than to the outcome you say I'm the type
52:08of person who will continue to do
52:10without seeing the result of my doing
52:11and the world will belong to you because
52:13there's only a handful of people who can
52:15keep working and keep doing without
52:17seeing the external benefit and those
52:19are the people who can beat everyone and
52:21they win every time they win and then
52:24the third piece is the environment
52:25environment so if I can if I can
52:26increase the reward which you can do
52:28through reframing it and redefining what
52:30you reward Yourself by the activities
52:32and the controllables if you decrease
52:34the punishment of the things that you're
52:35afraid of and reframe that punishment is
52:37what if it wasn't a problem to begin
52:39with what if you agree with them that
52:41you don't have evidence they're right
52:44that's
52:45okay and you get out of the environment
52:47that continues to shape your behavior in
52:49the Direction you don't want you do
52:50those three things the likely you'll be
52:51able to change your behavior is very do
52:53people do every day that they hate doing
52:55like and a big one a big misnomer I
52:57think is that people think they need to
52:58have a new thing you can start a
52:59cleaning business become a billionaire
53:01you can start a la care business become
53:02a billionaire you can start a roofing
53:04business become a billionaire like
53:05there's clear problems like all you have
53:06to do is just do what everyone else is
53:07doing learn how to sell learn how to
53:08deliver consistently and learn how to
53:10lead if you do those three things you
53:11can do just as well as everyone else and
53:12just do it better

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