Max and Caroline's $6 Haircuts | 2 Broke Girls — Transcript

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1. 0:00Welcome to the Tristan Evans Salon. Hi.
2. 0:02Hello. We're here for the student
3. 0:04haircut.
4. 0:06I'm sorry. The $6 haircuts for poor
5. 0:09people from the people who don't really
6. 0:11know how to cut hair yet. That's not
7. 0:13true. This is the Tristan Evans salon.
8. 0:15I'm sure that everyone that's enrolled
9. 0:16here is a genius. At least tell me
10. 0:18they're
11. 0:20gay. Just have a seat over there. I'll
12. 0:22have somebody come up from the hair
13. 0:23school. It's so
14. 0:25loud. Hair school. Got it. We'll just
15. 0:28take a seat over there till they arrive.
16. 0:31Girl, you just sit there, relax, and let
17. 0:34Jamus make this head major.
18. 0:37So weird cuz I majored in head.
19. 0:40Girl, you are all everything.
20. 0:44Oh, uh, that's a little cold. I'm sorry.
21. 0:47What was your name again? Dan.
22. 0:50Uh-huh. Dan. So just Dan. You're not
23. 0:53like a Danny or a Dantrell?
24. 0:57Dan,
25. 0:59I need to get conditioner.
26. 1:01Damn it, Max. I got a straight one. This
27. 1:04makes you think he's straight. He keeps
28. 1:06pushing my head down before I'm ready.
29. 1:11Is the water too warm? Why are my pants
30. 1:13too wet?
31. 1:16Girl, are we in love?
32. 1:19Max, I need you to give me your gay.
33. 1:22Yeah, right. But give me my left nut
34. 1:24before I give you my gay.
35. 1:27You weren't even going to get your hair
36. 1:28done. Yeah, but I always wanted to know
37. 1:30what it felt like to get a shampoo
38. 1:32without a school nurse running that tiny
39. 1:33comb through my hair.
40. 1:36Dan, I have a magazine over there with a
41. 1:39photo of a chic pissy choppy bob. You
42. 1:41can do that, right? Sure. PC Bob. Got
43. 1:44it.
44. 1:48What's up?
45. 1:53Okay, done. You ready to cut?
46. 1:58Let's go. I can't risk some discount
47. 2:00hetero cutting my hair. I'll see you at
48. 2:03home. I'm pretty close to a hair gm.
49. 2:06Should have been mine. I haven't had a
50. 2:08hair gm in years. She hasn't had any gm
51. 2:11in years.
52. 2:14[Music]