Master the Art of Questions to Unlock Meaningful Conversations — Transcript

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1. 0:00want to ask some questions of you folks
2. 0:02questions that you've been asked before
3. 0:03let's see if we can play along who do I
4. 0:05want to pick on I'm going to ask you
5. 0:07questions you've been asked before in
6. 0:08your life you should be ready to answer
7. 0:09your name sir is Dave Dave hey Dave how
8. 0:12are you I'm great so I just asked Dave
9. 0:15hey how are you a question he's been
10. 0:17asked before and Dave's little voice
11. 0:19kicks up in his head and says I know
12. 0:20this
13. 0:23one and he says
14. 0:26great questions create conversations
15. 0:29that lead to relationships to create
16. 0:31opportunities that's what drives actions
17. 0:32and change Dave has just proved to me
18. 0:34that we are so efficient with language
19. 0:36we fail to be effective cuz what he did
20. 0:38is he answered the question and shut the
21. 0:39conversation
22. 0:40down you gave me a level one answer that
23. 0:43was exactly what I was looking for at
24. 0:44this part of our time together you did
25. 0:46it perfectly let's see if I can get
26. 0:48somebody can get me to level two on this
27. 0:49question who's got the power to get me
28. 0:51to level two I think you can get me to
29. 0:52level two your name sir is Lawrence
30. 0:55Lawrence Lawrence hey how are you
31. 0:58awesome great event
32. 1:01see what we got is we got level
33. 1:031.1 so efficient language he fails to be
34. 1:07effective he's like awesome great let's
35. 1:08run this straight down to a
36. 1:10period you got level two for me right
37. 1:14your name sorry Kimmy Kimmy hey Kimmy
38. 1:16how are
39. 1:18you I I don't have any other answers for
40. 1:22you the collective incompetence of this
41. 1:25industry is
42. 1:28embarrassing all of you I'm not picking
43. 1:30on one of you I'm biging on all of you
44. 1:32you sir hey how are you great how are
45. 1:34you we got level two level
46. 1:38two
47. 1:40great he got I know this one great then
48. 1:43he realized that questions great
49. 1:45conversations so he's like what question
50. 1:47can I ask in this point so he repeats
51. 1:50the question to me and he's great so
52. 1:52therefore how am I funny that right
53. 1:56funny that however the other person is
54. 1:58feeling is the same way you're feeling
55. 2:00what a coincedence
56. 2:02and did you know in this hey how are you
57. 2:05exchange there are only two levels that
58. 2:07is both of them yet we are so efficient
59. 2:10with language we fail to be effective
60. 2:11are any of you leaders in this business
61. 2:14you wander through your office on a
62. 2:16Monday and you're seeing people in the
63. 2:18office you're like hey how are you doing
64. 2:19they're like I'm awesome and you're like
65. 2:20hey how are you doing you're like
66. 2:21awesome like me too hey how are you
67. 2:23doing you're like I'm I love how much I
68. 2:26care about my people I'm so
69. 2:28compassionate
70. 2:30I'm so
71. 2:32kind we don't know
72. 2:34you know nothing because we're so
73. 2:37efficient with language we fail to be
74. 2:39effective it happens all the time I'm
75. 2:40going to show you something else we do
76. 2:41young man you're going to help me with
77. 2:42this your name is Austin Austin will you
78. 2:45tell me about the last place you went on
79. 2:46your vacation uh sure so I went to
80. 2:49Sedona Arizona stayed at the wild Resort
81. 2:53we swam in Oak creek and and just had a
82. 2:56great time over oh man I love it out in
83. 2:58Arizona I get to go there there a ton um
84. 3:01it's a great venue for events a lot of
85. 3:02people are using Arizona I think as an
86. 3:04event space right now because of the tax
87. 3:05advantages in a and I was there recently
88. 3:08actually for an event in Phoenix I
89. 3:09wasn't out as far as where you were but
90. 3:11I was like in Scotsdale was a cool
91. 3:12Resort I can't remember the name I go
92. 3:13there so often but I don't know if I
93. 3:15told you I'm a professional speaker I
94. 3:16travel all the way around the world I go
95. 3:18to all these different places I wouldn't
96. 3:19say Arizona is my favorite I'd probably
97. 3:21say maybe maybe Sydney is is is where I
98. 3:24went that I like the most I was there
99. 3:25for a big event with a company called
100. 3:26Volkswagen they were they were they were
101. 3:28pretty awesome and um yeah I've been all
102. 3:30around the world I've worked in 60
103. 3:32different countries I've worked in six
104. 3:34different continents I've written 11
105. 3:36best-selling books I'm not sure if I
106. 3:37told you how freaking awesome I
107. 3:40am that's a lot that was fun for you
108. 3:42right yeah Austin's like like well wow
109. 3:45at what point is he like where's the
110. 3:47exit right where's the exit Austin can
111. 3:51we try this again sure tell me about the
112. 3:53last place you went on your vacation
113. 3:55well I went to Las Vegas here for a
114. 3:57mortgage conference and uh and it was
115. 3:59just fabulous you know a lot of great
116. 4:00keynote speakers and like drinking from
117. 4:02a fire hose like you had mentioned
118. 4:03earlier so it's great yeah but how about
119. 4:06for you where's the last place you went
120. 4:07oh man I get to travel around a ton as
121. 4:09well I know Vegas well but what are some
122. 4:10of your favorite things to be able to do
123. 4:11when you're in Vegas oh man well I
124. 4:13always like to come to a concert or or
125. 4:15just get out in the community a little
126. 4:17bit and uh maybe visit the Oldtown strip
127. 4:19or see what local uh the resort has to
128. 4:23offer yeah what are some of the concerts
129. 4:25that you've seen in Vegas then uh what
130. 4:27are some of the the concerts the last
131. 4:29one was journey and de leopard oh wow
132. 4:31what the same event same event wow
133. 4:34that's a combo who was better Journey or
134. 4:35de leopard like who was it oh man they
135. 4:37were both so good so good de leopard was
136. 4:40still big hair the whole night was yeah
137. 4:43like I I can't stop believing that
138. 4:45that's
139. 4:46amazing it's
140. 4:48amazing and who were you traveling with
141. 4:50who were you there with oh I was there
142. 4:51with my wife and and the in-laws and uh
143. 4:53was our first my first concert ever
144. 4:56actually so oh my goodness my goodness
145. 4:58how long you guys be married now is uh
146. 5:01seven years okay I've just had a n nmon
147. 5:04old baby oh congrats yeah congrats boy
148. 5:07girl baby girl oh beautiful ARA like the
149. 5:10resort ah is that what you named her
150. 5:13after that's where she was
151. 5:16conceived you're good but no no my wife
152. 5:20my wife actually had a dream that we
153. 5:21named her that so we did oh okay same
154. 5:23moment though right yeah got it got
155. 5:27it see this is just lost in an eye in a
156. 5:29very casual natural conversation right
157. 5:31surrounded by a couple of hundred people
158. 5:33it's fairly fairly casual but how much
159. 5:36more information did I get second time
160. 5:38round how much more information a lot of
161. 5:41questions a lot more information was a
162. 5:43touch more fun as well right how many
163. 5:45questions I
164. 5:46prepare where did the rest of my
165. 5:48questions come
166. 5:49from his answers right which meant I had
167. 5:52to do what actively listen actively
168. 5:55listen possibly one of the most
169. 5:56underrated skills in this profession is
170. 5:59our ability to listen and let's just
171. 6:01take a look at the word together the
172. 6:02word listen because it's interesting the
173. 6:05word listen look at it it has an L an i
174. 6:08an s a t an e and an n in
175. 6:13it here's another word it has an L an i
176. 6:18an s a t an e and an n in
177. 6:26it coincidence
178. 6:30well yes actually it
179. 6:33is makes one heck of a point though
180. 6:36right I wonder how many times that you
181. 6:39folks for fear of being salesy become
182. 6:41sales prevention
183. 6:43officers that you deliver too much
184. 6:45information you don't leave a pause long
185. 6:48enough for somebody to sit in it you
186. 6:50don't create a space that is open enough
187. 6:52for people to tell you their truth and
188. 6:54that you think that you win by sharing
189. 6:56how much you
190. 6:57know silence is a superpower your
191. 6:59ability to listen is the
192. 7:01same you're probably hearing from me at
193. 7:04this point in time I care a lot about
194. 7:05this information I care a lot about your
195. 7:07industry I could sit and talk to you
196. 7:08folks here for days but I think perhaps
197. 7:11the most important thing for us to think
198. 7:13about when we finish our time here
199. 7:14together is this point in the market
200. 7:17that we're in right
201. 7:19now our job is to give people enough
202. 7:23information to make a
203. 7:25decision there's one word up there that
204. 7:27I believe is worthy of the most Focus
205. 7:30what do you think the word
206. 7:32is the word is the word
207. 7:34enough how much information is
208. 7:41enough the answer is it depends this was
209. 7:44perhaps put best to me by a huge Mentor
210. 7:46in my life my late Grandma my nan my nan
211. 7:50once said to me she said Phil if
212. 7:51everybody thought in the exact same way
213. 7:53then wouldn't the whole world like to
214. 7:54marry your
215. 7:57granddad see we need our information
216. 8:00packaged in slightly different ways
217. 8:01enough information is different for
218. 8:03different people but for our realtor
219. 8:05Partners right now and for yourself one
220. 8:07thing that we've got to get really good
221. 8:08at talking about and delivering enough
222. 8:10information is the is the money
223. 8:12conversation we're going to be able to
224. 8:13talk about money with confidence if I
225. 8:15have the word price written in my right
226. 8:17hand and the word value written in my
227. 8:18left hand and price comes out ahead of
228. 8:20value which one looks
229. 8:23bigger and if I get the word value out
230. 8:26in head of price which one looks bigger
231. 8:29now
232. 8:30who in this room has spent more money on
233. 8:32something than they thought they
234. 8:34would and we think budgets are
235. 8:37real
236. 8:39H articulating our value is the most
237. 8:43important skill that exists for Real
238. 8:45Estate professionals and Loan
239. 8:46Originators today and I'm going to try
240. 8:48and just show something in a very simple
241. 8:50exercise before I bring us towards a
242. 8:51close and who do I pick on who do I pick
243. 8:52on who do I pick on young lady your name
244. 8:54is Laura Laura can I borrow your pen
245. 8:57Laura absolutely this is Laura's pen I
246. 9:00want you to imagine Laura's pen is just
247. 9:02thrown on a table at a yard sale how
248. 9:05much is the
249. 9:07pen it's a nickel 75 cents wow now I'm
250. 9:12going to take Laura's pen the exact same
251. 9:14pen this time what I'm going to do is
252. 9:15I'm going to place it in a stand stand
253. 9:17is made of acrylic I've got 10 adjacent
254. 9:19compartments in it other pens from the
255. 9:20same manufacturers it's all beautifully
256. 9:22merchandise manufacturer's name sits
257. 9:24across the top of the stand stand sits
258. 9:26on the counter of a mid-priced
259. 9:27department store like a Macy's in the
260. 9:29stationary Department how much is the
261. 9:33pen $20 it's the same
262. 9:39pen what I'm now going to do is I'm
263. 9:42going to take Laura's pen the exact same
264. 9:44pen this time I'm going to lay it down
265. 9:46on its side I'm going to place it in a
266. 9:48box and the box is made of mahogany
267. 9:51mahogany box is Velvet lined so I have a
268. 9:53pen in a mahogany box it's velvet Line
269. 9:55This sits in a cabinet and the cabinet
270. 9:57is made of glass the glass cabinet is
271. 10:00spotlit this two sits in the department
272. 10:02store not just any department store
273. 10:04department store is in London it's not
274. 10:06anywhere in London it's in night bridge
275. 10:08and the store in question is called
276. 10:10hars so I have a pet in a mahogany box
277. 10:13it's velvet line sits in the cabinet
278. 10:14cabinet is made of glass glass cabin
279. 10:15it's spot lit it's in a department store
280. 10:16not just any department store department
281. 10:17store is in London it's not anywhere in
282. 10:18London it's in nightsbridge the store is
283. 10:19called
284. 10:21herods and they get to the pen I need to
285. 10:24speak to a member of
286. 10:26staff member of staff is wearing a black
287. 10:28tuxedo
288. 10:30has white gloves on and his name is
289. 10:34[Music]
290. 10:37Pierre how much is the
291. 10:43pen it's the exact same
292. 10:48pen what is the difference in each of
293. 10:51those scenarios perception
294. 11:00what is the
295. 11:01difference see all the things that
296. 11:03you're muttering right
297. 11:05now they're all true all of them did you
298. 11:09know the thing is never worth the
299. 11:11money what's worth the money is the
300. 11:12things that go with the thing so the
301. 11:14clearer you can get on the things that
302. 11:16go with your thing the more money people
303. 11:17will value your
304. 11:19thing got
305. 11:21it that's the work to be able to do
306. 11:23right now for you and your realtor
307. 11:25Partners is what are the things that go
308. 11:27with your thing that make your thing
309. 11:29unique so Laura this is your 1750 pen
310. 11:34you enjoy don't lose it it's very
311. 11:37precious I know that I've jumped a
312. 11:39little over on time I've had fun out
313. 11:40being here with you folks and I know
314. 11:42that some of you are probably wondering
315. 11:43like yeah but what do I do from here
316. 11:44what do I do with the words how do I
317. 11:45turn this into something that I master
318. 11:47you
319. 11:48can't you cannot Master word choices you
320. 11:51cannot Master
321. 11:53scripts it's like I crushed my yoga
322. 11:57today no you practice your yoga you
323. 12:00practice meditation you practice your
324. 12:01word choices what professionals do is
325. 12:04they
326. 12:05practice the best golfers in the world
327. 12:08aren't like I'm great at golf I'm just
328. 12:09going to try harder on Sunday they
329. 12:11practice and practice and practice so on
330. 12:13game day when it really matters they've
331. 12:16got their best game face and and and
332. 12:18they're working on something specific so
333. 12:21my invitation to you is that if you are
334. 12:22coming from this presentation realizing
335. 12:24how important words are in moments that
336. 12:26matter and realizing that there's a
337. 12:27skill gap between where you are and
338. 12:28where you'd like to go to do this for me
339. 12:30and decide to elevate your practice