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Man Dies From A Chokehold And Learns Free Will Is An Illusion (NDE) | Shane Mackean — Transcript

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0:00But some random guy came from behind me
0:01and he choked me out.
0:03Um he put me in a choke hold.
0:04You know, energies were high.
0:06Everybody was a little tipsy and the guy
0:10choked me for far too long. I was also
0:12tipsy and uh I was injured. And so I was
0:15in an extreme fighter flight type of
0:17rage. And
0:20I was more pissed I think at that moment
0:23because I was kind of being manhandled
0:25by this guy.
0:27And then I went out. So I I had my
0:28experience was complete anger and just
0:31like seeing red
0:33to silence. There was no like
0:36transition. It was almost just like a
0:38light switch just went off.
0:41>> [music]
0:45>> My name's Shane. So my life
0:48before I had that experience was really
0:51really crazy. I mean, I was young.
0:54I was
0:55somewhat fresh out of high school
0:57and I was an outlaw, in and out of jail.
1:00I kind of like on the run from parole
1:02and probation and uh
1:05partying a lot.
1:06Um
1:08I was a punk rocker, I'm a graffiti
1:10writer, and so like I was just living
1:11that lifestyle, just all over the place.
1:14Living fast and uh
1:18And yeah, just I partied a lot. I didn't
1:19really take much in life serious at all.
1:23Um I wasn't very religious. I was
1:25spiritual. I did believe in God and
1:27spirits and
1:29I knew that there was something more to
1:30like this experience that we're having.
1:32But I didn't really care
1:35to learn more about anything like
1:37intellectual or deeply spiritual at all.
1:40I kind of was just like riding off of
1:41vibes.
1:42And I had very little um
1:44care for my life.
1:46So I was just living very dangerously.
1:49So I had a rough childhood.
1:51Um and then
1:54through my young adult life, I lived
1:56with some family of mine that were very
1:58strict and very violent. And so,
2:01you know, when I became a young adult
2:03and was finally out of the house, I just
2:05hit the ground running with my like
2:06newfound freedom, so to speak. And was
2:09just doing the most, trying all of the
2:12substances,
2:14trying to have all of the you know,
2:16fast-paced experiences that I could
2:17have.
2:18So, it was kind of like
2:20yeah, it was a lot of
2:21trauma and tension built up until I was
2:23able to kind of like be my own man and
2:26I was just not even close to being
2:27mature enough to handle that
2:28responsibly. I've had a lot of like
2:31close calls with death, but this was the
2:34first time that I actually experienced
2:36something and the first time that I'm
2:37aware of where I actually was like close
2:39to dying, for sure.
2:41But, I was at a party.
2:43Long story short,
2:45there was a confrontation at this party.
2:48After I was ran over, like I I had a leg
2:51injury from getting hit with a car.
2:53And there was this huge confrontation
2:55about who did it and why they did it.
2:57And there was this huge fight that broke
2:58out. And in that fight, I was kind of
3:00like hobbling on one leg with my injury,
3:03trying to like get in the mix still,
3:05which I had no business doing. And
3:08some I don't know who it was, but some
3:09random guy came from behind me and he
3:11choked me out.
3:12He put me in a chokehold.
3:14And um
3:16you know, there's many excuses of why he
3:17did that after
3:19I came to and was able to talk to
3:20everybody about it. But, the dude there
3:23was you know, energies were high.
3:25Everybody was a little tipsy and the guy
3:28choked me for far too long. And this is
3:31what
3:32you know, instigated my experience, what
3:35caused not only
3:36was I already injured, I just got hit by
3:38a car and so like my body was going
3:40through a lot of trauma, but um
3:43he choked me until I was unconscious and
3:45continued to choke me. So,
3:48like I said, it was high energy.
3:51And um
3:53I don't know about anybody else, but for
3:54me, when I'm angry, I kind of see red.
3:56It's hard for me to control my impulse
3:58when I'm angry.
3:59And, um, I was also tipsy, and uh, I was
4:03injured. And so, I was in an extreme
4:04fight or flight type of rage. And,
4:09I was more pissed, I think, at that
4:11moment because I was kind of being
4:13manhandled by this guy.
4:16And then, I went out. So, I I had my
4:17experience was complete anger and just
4:20like seeing red
4:22to silence. There was no like
4:25transition. It was almost just like a
4:27light switch just went off. Just
4:29immediately click, and I was in this
4:31other place. And I didn't remember why I
4:33was there. I didn't know that there was
4:35any other places to be.
4:37It was just It was So, it wasn't just
4:38like a gradual fade.
4:40It was just an instant switch from being
4:42super angry to totally calm and quiet
4:46and alone.
4:47Um, and later on in the in the in the
4:50story, I'll go into like how I know
4:52this was the point of me dying, but
4:55I eventually found out that my heart
4:57stopped. And I think that that moment,
4:59where everything went quiet, um,
5:03could have been
5:05me be going unconscious. And then, when
5:07the experience deepened is when my heart
5:09stopped. I'm not I can't, you know,
5:10there's no way to tell for sure, but,
5:13um, this place that I woke up in,
5:16it was just absolute nothingness.
5:19I didn't have a body,
5:21but I could see.
5:23Um,
5:24there was no temperature, no color. I
5:27didn't have any other senses that I was
5:29aware of other than just being
5:30conscious.
5:31Uh, like there was nothing to see, or
5:33there was nothing to to hear, there was
5:35nothing nothing to feel. It was just
5:37nothing. Literally nothing forever.
5:41Except for me. Standing in nothing. An
5:43empty void. Best way that I can explain
5:46it is,
5:47um there's this I always use this
5:49analogy. There's this part in the movie
5:51The Matrix where Neo is talking to
5:53Morpheus and they're in a white room
5:55and it's just them and I think Morpheus
5:57is sitting at a desk or something, but
5:59in the room you can't tell the depth of
6:02the room. It's like
6:04it's almost just like a
6:05a place in someone's mind where there's
6:07no walls, there's no floor, there's no
6:08ceiling, it's just foreverness. And in
6:10the movie it's white, but in my
6:12experience I had it was black. It was
6:15blacker than black, like emptiness, what
6:18emptiness would look like.
6:20And so it
6:21I was aware
6:23that I was in this emptiness, so it was
6:24almost as if I was just pure conscious.
6:26I didn't have a body and I was sitting
6:28in that void.
6:30I didn't have any memories either, so I
6:33don't know why I was there.
6:35I didn't know if I was a man or a woman
6:37or a human. I didn't know that gender
6:39existed.
6:41Uh I didn't even know what a human was
6:43at this point. I was just aware.
6:45Almost like a what I would
6:47picture
6:49like a baby's conscious experience might
6:51be in the womb of their mom. It was
6:53literally
6:55I had no idea at all. I wasn't afraid, I
6:59wasn't angry, I didn't feel like I was
7:01in danger. I was just fresh. It was
7:04almost like a brand new conscious
7:05experience.
7:07Um but interestingly, it felt
7:10comfortable. Like it felt like I was
7:11home.
7:13And there was a deep interest that I
7:15had. It was all I kind of felt like a
7:18uh I'm going to end up using a lot of
7:20analogies. These kinds of experiences
7:22are very hard to put into words, but
7:24um
7:25it's kind of like a mad scientist
7:27staring at a whole bunch of brand new
7:30chemicals that he's never used before.
7:32It's like that type of interest.
7:34I had that intrigue.
7:36And um
7:37I felt like that void was familiar, like
7:40something that I'd known before, but I
7:42had no concept of what before might have
7:45even been.
7:46Um like I had no memory of this life. I
7:50had no memory of this life or maybe next
7:52lives. I had I had nothing to work with
7:54other than just the void I was in
7:56and my interest in what I was doing
7:58there.
8:00And so I sat with myself in this void
8:02like that for what felt like hundreds of
8:05years.
8:06And eventually
8:08I started to
8:10um
8:10kind of observe my own thoughts in a
8:13way. Like I I felt the observer effect.
8:16Like I noticed that I was me and I
8:18noticed that I had thoughts.
8:21And so
8:22I would start to focus deeper on my
8:24thoughts observing what I was thinking
8:26about um
8:28like wow, what is this? Why does this
8:30feel so familiar? And I'm observing
8:32myself thinking about this stuff.
8:34And the more that I focused on my
8:37thoughts
8:38these lights started to flicker. If I
8:40focused on a thought very deeply, it
8:42would flicker and in in the void would
8:44all shine. There would be like colors
8:46flashing kind of like when lightning
8:48hits the sky and the whole night sky
8:50lights up. The whole void was lighting
8:52up with these flashes of color. It was
8:54like bursts of lightning lighting
8:56everything up. And so the deeper that I
8:58thought
8:59the more colors would flash. And then
9:01when I would think about my thoughts and
9:03those colors flashing
9:05they would get a little bit crazier. And
9:06so I I made the connection that like I'm
9:09controlling this area that I'm in with
9:11my thoughts.
9:13And um I tried to play around with that.
9:16And I ended up doing some some wild
9:18stuff, but
9:20the first thing that I would the first
9:22like object that I was able to see in
9:24this experience was a tree. And I don't
9:26remember why it was a tree. I just
9:28remember feeling I think it was the
9:30color green. I seen these flashes
9:31flashing and the color green is
9:33something I've always been attached to.
9:35It's been my favorite color my whole
9:36life. And like back when I was
9:38experimenting with a lot of substances,
9:40the color green was always kind of like
9:42my safe space. So, if I was like going
9:44off into la-la land, I'd hang on to
9:46something green and it would bring me
9:48back to reality. So, I have like this
9:50connection to the color green, but this
9:52color green started flashing and
9:53eventually turned into a tree. I don't
9:55remember what kind of tree it was, but
9:57this tree was actually in front of me. I
9:58could see it now. Now, it doesn't wasn't
10:00just the void.
10:01It was me in conscious in this void with
10:03this tree.
10:05And I focused deeply on it. It was the
10:07only thing to attach my focus to.
10:10Um
10:11and this tree, what was interesting is I
10:13could kind of like
10:15I There's no gravity in this experience.
10:17I could fly around it. Um I could go
10:20through it. I could go above it or below
10:22it in all directions. I could even sit
10:24still and kind of move the tree away
10:26from me. And it's kind of hard to tell
10:29the difference in this area cuz it's
10:30nothingness, but I could tell the
10:32difference. Like
10:34I had spatial awareness that I was
10:36moving away from the tree or that the
10:37tree was moving away from me. And so, I
10:39was it
10:40I started to become more aware of these
10:43dimensions that I was in, so to speak. I
10:45could push this tree around.
10:47And I could push myself around. And so,
10:49now I knew that my thoughts could kind
10:51of form these three-dimensional objects.
10:55And uh
10:56that I could move in this space, that I
10:58had places to go to.
11:00And
11:02I found out that I could go into the
11:04tree.
11:06And so, I I played around with that for
11:07a little while, too. I would go into
11:09into the tree and I could kind of like
11:12uh satiate inside of the tree itself and
11:15become the tree and and feel what it
11:17feels like to be the tree in the void
11:19instead of just me in the void. And so,
11:21I became the tree for a while.
11:23Um and I noticed that like my thoughts,
11:26you know, this just comes to me right
11:27now and I wish I would have done it
11:29then, but what would it what would it
11:30been like if I created things while the
11:33while being the tree instead of creating
11:34while being me? But, that's for another
11:36time.
11:37Um so I had this realization that my
11:40thoughts could create physicality in
11:42this space.
11:43And that realization lasted what felt
11:46like another couple hundred years.
11:48Everything was moving weird compared to
11:50how we experience time in this life.
11:53But, I kept creating stuff. I kept I
11:56kept building planets that were like
11:58slightly similar to Earth. Slightly
12:01different. Some had no people, they were
12:03just planets. Some had very
12:06uh weak caveman level type humans. Um
12:10the one interesting thing is in all
12:12these planets that I made,
12:14the ones that had civilizations had no
12:16animals in them. And so there was some
12:18weird implication of a connection
12:20between me and the planet and nature
12:23and humans, but animals were not
12:26included. There was no birds, there was
12:28there was no like dogs or cats or horses
12:30or nothing like that. It was
12:32civilizations built on just nature and
12:34humans.
12:35But,
12:37I kept building these planets and
12:38building these humans. And
12:40in that moment, I had I had didn't
12:43realize it cuz I had no memory of my
12:45previous so I'm just going to call it my
12:47previous life, which is, you know, this
12:49life right now.
12:50And um
12:52but after, you know, analyzing it a
12:55while after the experience, I noticed
12:58that the things that I was creating in
13:00this experience, they kind of echoed
13:03things that I'm deeply interested in.
13:05Things that I would then go later on in
13:09my adult life to study deeply in college
13:12and um things like ancient cultures and
13:16different ways of society and and so
13:18sociology and different ways of living.
13:21And um
13:22you know, different types of geography
13:24and how that
13:25has different implications on the
13:27societies there. So, all of these things
13:28that I would grow to then learn in adult
13:31life,
13:32I was creating worlds that kind of
13:33mirrored that, even though I wasn't
13:35aware of these things in that space.
13:38So, these places kind of resembled like
13:41ancient Babylon, ancient Sumeria, Egypt,
13:44Native America,
13:46um all the way to futures like
13:49um
13:50like the I don't know, a future space of
13:53the UK or Dubai or like if it was in
13:55year 2200.
13:57Uh have you ever seen the movie The
13:59Fifth Element?
14:00With Nicholas Cage. So, it'd be like
14:02that. The future spaces were like that
14:04with big old buildings, floating cars,
14:06space scenes, so to speak. And so, all
14:08of these planets I made were a wide
14:10variety of things. Just humans, just
14:13civilizations.
14:14Um but I was watching them and playing
14:17them out like I was a master controller
14:19of this. It was almost like a video
14:20game, like a giant Sims game, and I was
14:23creating all of it and
14:25not necessarily controlling every little
14:28aspect, but I could make the thing, kind
14:29of set it where it's at and just watch
14:32it and observe it, and it would live out
14:36like in the Sims game, when you don't
14:38touch any controls,
14:40the player on the game kind of just does
14:41their own thing, and they continue going
14:43without your control. That's what was
14:45happening. I wasn't necessarily making
14:47my creation do stuff,
14:49but I would create it and observe it
14:51while it was choosing to do its own
14:53stuff.
14:54And then um I watched all my creations
14:56kind of play.
14:57And I also realized that I could pause
15:00time for them,
15:02rewind time for them, so I could see my
15:05planets kind of crumble and then be
15:07rebuilt and do it all over again.
15:10Um I could rewind civilizations and
15:12fast-forward civilizations to see where
15:14they end up and if they survive.
15:16And so, I'm kind of just
15:18zooming around this space, this void
15:21with all of my planets and all of my
15:23civilizations that I made hopping from
15:24planet to planet, zooming around, and
15:26observing the creation.
15:28And after that lasted for another couple
15:31hundred years, it seems like forever
15:32when you're in it.
15:34Um
15:35I remembered
15:36that I experienced being a tree at the
15:39very beginning of my experience, and so
15:40I wanted to test that out with the
15:42people that I made.
15:43Um
15:44and uh you know, I should have
15:46experienced everything. I should have
15:48seen what it was like to be a planet,
15:49but uh um
15:51you know, oh well. But so I started
15:54experiencing people. I started going
15:56into people, and while I was them,
15:58I didn't control them, but I was seeing
16:01their experience through their eyes. And
16:03this is when I first had
16:06senses. Like I could feel, I could
16:09taste, I could hear things, I could It
16:11was all the same senses that we have in
16:13this life. It was just like this life,
16:15but
16:16it was almost like I possessed these
16:17people, and they weren't aware that I
16:18was inside of them. They weren't aware
16:20that I was experiencing their life,
16:22observing their life through their eyes.
16:25And um I had this weird feeling that
16:27these people were me. Like they weren't
16:29separate from me.
16:30Um
16:32they were my creation.
16:34And so it it wasn't kind of like I
16:36wasn't crossing any lines to go
16:38experience and go inside these people's
16:40consciousness. It was it felt like I was
16:42able to do that because they were me.
16:43They came They were kind of like an
16:45emanation of my thoughts. And so um
16:49you know, it was almost like my
16:50property, so to speak. And so I was
16:52experiencing person to person, and then
16:55I had like this really extreme
16:56realization that hit me.
16:59And
17:02I wanted to
17:04experience I knew that I could
17:06experience the the plants, the plant
17:07life, and I wanted to experience these
17:09people, so I did that. And then I
17:11realized what would it be like to
17:13experience a full life of one of these
17:15people because my time and their time is
17:18much different. These people I created
17:20aren't even aware of me.
17:22Um it's almost like I'm a ghost. And
17:25so what would it be like? And at this
17:27moment all I knew was my experience in
17:29this void. I didn't know what it was
17:30like to be a human outside of me going
17:32and experiencing them for small port
17:34parts of time.
17:36But I wanted the full human experience.
17:38And so
17:40I realized that I could go into one of
17:42these people that I created permanently.
17:45And I would become
17:46then or try to become ignorant of
17:50my experience in this void. I would try
17:52to try my best to forget that I created
17:54this person that I'm now experiencing to
17:56get the full
17:58the full bodily experience of that
18:00human's life from birth to death. And I
18:04I had assumed that once that person was
18:06born, I'd experience their life to when
18:08they died, I'd I'd return back to this
18:10void to where I was at.
18:12Um
18:13but I'd had to I would have to forget
18:14making all of it. It would just be a
18:16regular life.
18:18Almost like reincarnation into that
18:20person, so to speak. Um and so I started
18:23to look around for some someone that
18:26interested me enough to experience their
18:28entire life. And I hopped around. I was
18:30observing these different people in
18:31these different circumstances. And I
18:33ended up choosing this man.
18:36Um
18:37he kind of looked like a mix of like
18:39Germanic, Scandinavian, and Egyptian.
18:42He was like a
18:44dark-skinned white guy.
18:47Maybe Persian actually, now that I think
18:49about it.
18:50Um but he had
18:52crazy jewelry on and gems. And they were
18:55all gold. They seemed like some type of
18:57royal
18:59guy. He had put some royal position or
19:00some type of nobility.
19:02And he had he was a blend of all of
19:04these different cultures that I find
19:05interesting. And which is
19:08again, it reflects my interests that I
19:10then grew to learn as an adult, which is
19:12weird, about history and religion and
19:14ancient worlds.
19:16And so, he was kind of like the
19:17culmination of all my
19:19interests that I didn't have yet in the
19:21real world. I only had those interests
19:23about 10 years later, which maybe I had
19:25those interests because of this
19:28experience, but I don't know.
19:30Um but right when I chose to go in and
19:32experience this person permanently,
19:35like to become him and to become
19:37ignorant that I created him,
19:39there was no swoosh, there was no
19:41tunnel, it was just a click. Just as
19:43fast as this whole experience began, it
19:46ended. And I opened my eyes
19:49and I was in a lot of pain. I was back
19:52into my body.
19:53Everything was back to normal. I wasn't
19:56My memories didn't come back
19:58immediately, but I was aware in my own
20:00body again. Um EMTs were above me and
20:03they had a portable defibrillator
20:05strapped to me.
20:06And
20:08the the best way to ex- to
20:11Even though I had all that traumatic
20:12stuff going on when I woke up, it felt
20:14nostalgic. Just like me going into that
20:17void felt like I was back home, me
20:19returning to my body
20:21felt like I was back home, too.
20:23But,
20:25it felt like I was returning to a body
20:27that was 5,000 years old. Very, very
20:29weird experience.
20:31Um and I remember reaching for my face
20:33and like make like thinking that it was
20:35weird that I didn't have any facial hair
20:37because I felt like an old man.
20:39And I was it was awkward to come back to
20:42my body. I'll I'll say that.
20:44At the very least, it was just awkward.
20:46Um I remember thinking that
20:49um
20:51I should be an old man right now. Like
20:53I just I've lived for so long, why am I
20:56in a young man's body and why am I all
20:57tore up? And I had to have like slowly
21:00but surely I had to have my friends kind
21:02of remind me of
21:04why I was laying on the ground and why I
21:06had
21:07uh EMTs trying to save my life and
21:10um
21:11it was all too much to kind of take in
21:13at that moment, but slowly but surely I
21:15started to like
21:18remember my body and remember my name
21:20and remember who I was and why my leg
21:22was tore up and
21:24um remember that I had, you know, just
21:27got hit by a car and that I almost died.
21:29And um
21:32it was just very interesting. I had so
21:34much going on when I came back to my
21:35body. My leg was so swollen.
21:38Um I could barely move it a couple
21:40inches off the ground. Um they had me
21:43propped up. They held my back up. Um
21:45everyone was just standing around me.
21:48And so it's it was
21:51it's hard to put it into words, but it
21:53was like I was the center of attention
21:54and everybody was looking at me like I
21:56was some type of monster or something.
21:58But they were all just surprised that I
21:59survived, I think.
22:01Um but the whole that whole instance in
22:03that void felt like thousands of years.
22:05But in But in the real world in this
22:07life, it only lasted, I think, about a
22:09half a minute is what I was told. I was
22:11told that my heart did stop. That's why
22:13they had to strap me to a defibrillator.
22:16And
22:17it was only I think they said like
22:1920-something seconds. So, about a half a
22:20minute that
22:22I was on the verge of, you know,
22:24permanently dying.
22:25Um
22:27and I mean that could have My heart
22:28stopping could have been from a wide
22:30variety of things.
22:31I had a concussion from getting hit by
22:33the car. I had a lot of body trauma at
22:35the time.
22:36Um the dude choking me out definitely
22:38could have helped. I was intoxicated at
22:40the time. It was probably a combination
22:42of all of it.
22:43And it took me a while to process it
22:45all. But um
22:48you know,
22:49sitting with
22:51sitting with my body
22:53sit or coming back to my body and
22:54sitting with my life that I was in, it
22:56was almost like a a slap to the face
22:58because
23:00whereas before I didn't realize the
23:02chaos that my life was,
23:05coming from an
23:07coming from a totally different
23:08experience back to the chaos of my life,
23:10especially in that traumatic
23:11circumstance,
23:13it was an extreme revelation of like,
23:16"Dang, I'm really living like this?
23:19Like look at all the crazy stuff that
23:21I'm you know, involved in. I'm the
23:23center of this crazy stuff right here.
23:24All of this chaos is because of my
23:27choices."
23:28Um
23:29and so this time when I was like trying
23:31to kind of like reconnect with my
23:33identity in this world, I reconnected to
23:36my identity in this world with the
23:38realization that probably ended up
23:41saving my life because
23:42I was now aware of my life.
23:45I was now Whereas before I didn't have
23:48one care in the world if I lived or
23:49died, now I cared. Like now I knew that
23:53um
23:54my choices could easily lead to me
23:57losing my life. Um so it's
24:00not that I was like afraid of death,
24:02but I was just much more aware of my
24:05mortality, so to speak, and aware of the
24:08chaos that was going on in my life. Um
24:10but they um
24:14the the the party shut down when the
24:16ambulance got called, obviously, and I
24:18stayed at that friend's house for a few
24:19days.
24:21Um luckily,
24:23my friend's mom was a nurse, and they
24:25knew she knew the EMTs that were at the
24:27party.
24:28Um and so like you know, some strings
24:30were pulled to where I didn't have to go
24:32stay in the hospital or anything, and
24:33that was nice. So I stayed at my
24:34friend's house for a while. I had to
24:36hobble around on crutches for about a
24:38year until I got the movement back in my
24:40knee.
24:40Um I ended up tearing When I got hit by
24:43the car, I tore my ACL and my MCL.
24:45I did have a concussion,
24:47and um
24:49I can't remember what they said it was
24:51specific what they call it specifically
24:53when your your heart stops from trauma.
24:56Um but that's what happened. I mean,
24:57that's that was my experience. That's
24:59why I died.
25:01Um, yeah, it was all pretty pretty
25:03crazy.
25:06>> That's a really crazy experience. Wow.
25:09>> Yeah.
25:11>> I have questions.
25:13>> [laughter]
25:13>> Yeah, shoot.
25:16>> Do you think
25:17like perhaps there's this part of you
25:19that's still out there building all
25:20these things?
25:22And it's like kind of dipped back into
25:23this body right now.
25:25Is that that possible?
25:28>> Oh.
25:29I mean, maybe, but when I was in that
25:31void and I chose to experience things,
25:36I'll say it like this. So, like in that
25:37this is the best way that I can kind of
25:39put it in words. In the Bible, it
25:41explains Yahweh raining fire down on
25:43Earth
25:44from Yahweh or being on Earth raining
25:47down fire from Yahweh in heaven. So, God
25:49is in two different places.
25:51And that was never the case for me.
25:53Um, and in no way, shape, or form do I
25:55want to say that I was God, but
25:58um, any any time I chose to experience,
26:00say the tree or to experience a person,
26:03I was stuck there. I couldn't be in two
26:05places at once. It was all one spot. So,
26:08so I would think that like since I'm
26:10here experiencing this now, it's I'm I'm
26:13not anywhere else.
26:16>> Cuz I do believe like we are all
26:17creators. I don't know that
26:19we create through energy and through
26:21thought because everything needs a
26:23thought before you can
26:24manifest it, right? Doesn't matter what
26:26it is.
26:27So, if in the beginning was thought
26:31and we can all create and we're all part
26:32of God,
26:34>> Mhm.
26:34>> I mean, I'm not not to say it's not
26:35about saying it's an ego thing, I'm God,
26:38but I am a creator and I have the
26:39ability to but that's some
26:42that would be your
26:44like soul signature almost? That your
26:46abilities?
26:49Yeah.
26:49>> Yeah, that made we're made in his image
26:51and in his likeness. I mean there's
26:53evidence of this in biology, too. When
26:55you
26:56when your brain has certain specific
26:58brain waves to like when you're dreaming
26:59or when you're thinking or when you
27:01choose to do anything, you produce
27:02biophotons. So, not only are we
27:04creators, but we create with light. Uh
27:07like literally we are called humans for
27:10a reason. Like we're an expression of
27:12you know,
27:14light vibrations and like our body is
27:17making light as we think. It's very
27:19interesting stuff.
27:22>> Totally. I also found it fascinating
27:23that you saw all the colors because a
27:25lot of people that have got like certain
27:27perceptions, they can see
27:29music.
27:31Or they can taste it. You know, you're
27:32able to see the colors of certain
27:34things.
27:35And and and again, light is color. I
27:37mean, it's just all the colors uh
27:40all together.
27:41So interesting.
27:43Someone called it the place between here
27:45and there, the void. Would you say it
27:47felt like that?
27:49>> Yeah, for sure. It definitely didn't
27:51feel permanent.
27:53So, it was definitely kind of like a
27:54train station of my soul. Yeah.
27:57I knew that that wasn't all that would
27:59there was. I would see I didn't
28:01I wasn't aware in that experience of
28:04like what heaven or hell would be or
28:06like
28:07or even
28:08what an afterlife situation would be,
28:11but it did not feel permanent. It felt
28:13like I was
28:14going there I was there to like
28:17I don't know, absorb something or to
28:18learn something and then it wasn't the
28:20last place for me to be that I was going
28:22somewhere else, too.
28:24>> I'm at the point now where I'm realizing
28:26that people think if they leave their
28:27body then everything will be happy and
28:29and fantastic on the other side and
28:32but actually it's just, you know, we
28:34transition into another doorway and and
28:37now you're on the other side. So, you
28:39take yourself with you at the level of
28:41awareness that you're at.
28:43To me, that space of nothing, of just
28:45being present with your thoughts almost
28:47feels like someone referred to as
28:48Brahman,
28:49which is the space where
28:51you're just kind of feeling an
28:53emptiness. And we And a lot of spiritual
28:55people that have this awakening have
28:57that. Do you think it was some kind of
28:58awakening for you that you had on that
29:00side instead of here?
29:04>> Um
29:06Yeah. Um to to put it put specifically
29:09recollection or revelation into words,
29:12it's kind of hard to do. I I can safely
29:15assume that I learned a lot more there
29:17that I can't recall right now.
29:19Um that I wasn't able to bring back with
29:21me.
29:23But there are certain things that I did
29:25bring back with me.
29:26Um
29:27and so that's how I know that I was
29:29picking up things while I was there.
29:31Like I had mentioned, I came back with
29:34like a a new found
29:36respect for my life and my mortality. Um
29:40which I'm sure anybody who experiences
29:42something like this will have, but I
29:44also came back with
29:46an ability
29:48I'll call it an ability. I don't know if
29:50it should would be regarded as an
29:51ability, but I can connect to people.
29:54Every since that moment, I've been able
29:55to connect to people
29:57on such a deep level to where they like
30:00I barely have to speak when I talk to
30:02people. People just open up to me.
30:05Um and it's it was odd because the
30:08person the lifestyle I lived, I was so
30:10stand-offish. I was unapproachable. I
30:13mean, I still kind of look that way. If
30:14you were to pass me in public, you would
30:16I'm not like the the guy that you would
30:17just go strike a conversation with, but
30:20um but when that conversation gets
30:22started,
30:23people naturally they And this is
30:26anybody I talk to. I've talked to the
30:27most violent gangsters. I've talked to
30:30people that
30:31that don't want to open up to anybody
30:34because they're so paranoid and and
30:36afraid of the world and have such
30:38deep-rooted trust issues. And when I
30:40talk to even people like that, they open
30:42up and they just run their mouth to me.
30:44It's almost like they feel
30:45like they're talking to their mom. It's
30:47weird. And that only started happening
30:49after that experience where people
30:52I can easily connect to people on it in
30:54in conversation on a personal level.
30:58>> It is such a great gift to be able to
31:00get people to open up.
31:02>> Right.
31:02>> And and often, I mean, I know that it's
31:04cathartic even just speaking about your
31:06experience yourself. You know, it just
31:08it helps to make sense of it. You
31:09probably spoken about it so often now,
31:11but for some people that haven't even
31:13shared it. But I think for people just
31:15to be able to speak and and feel heard.
31:19And almost at home the way you felt at
31:21home when you had that recognition of
31:23being on the other side.
31:25>> Right.
31:26Yeah, it took me a long time to figure
31:28out how to use that gift, so to speak,
31:31um for
31:33you know, the most benefit to be had.
31:35Like I aim to be a peacemaker, and so it
31:38took me a while to figure out I like I
31:40started to realize that that was
31:42happening, that people were kind of just
31:43opening up to me.
31:45And I thought it was like I was curious
31:47about it, but I I just thought
31:49I I didn't know why it was.
31:52Um
31:53and it I
31:54soon after realized that it was new,
31:56that it started happening because of
31:57that experience, but it took me so long
32:00to figure out how to use that to my
32:02benefit, to the benefit of the people
32:03around me.
32:05>> Well, it's great that you can use it. Do
32:06you know who that Persian man was?
32:10>> The man that I chose to become?
32:11>> Yeah. Yeah, what does he mean to
32:13>> No idea.
32:15No idea. Um these none of the people I
32:17made had names.
32:19Um I could hear them speaking, but it
32:21wasn't English.
32:23I didn't understand anything that they
32:25were saying or doing. Like I understood
32:27that they were living and surviving, but
32:29anything past that or I kind of
32:31understood society and like government
32:33structure and stuff like that because
32:34that's how they kind of all grew and
32:36build.
32:37But yeah, I didn't know what his name
32:39was.
32:40Um
32:42you know, to to who he was to me, maybe
32:46thinking about it, he kind of resembles
32:48an amalgamation of all of my deep
32:50interests.
32:51Um and like I said before, these these
32:53are interests that I didn't have yet at
32:55the time. But then I grew to have them,
32:57and so it's kind of it's either this or
32:59that. It's either a you know,
33:02either time in this isn't as linear as
33:04we think, and my
33:06grown adult experiences were expressed
33:08through my near-death experience as a
33:10young kid, or
33:12you know, that near-death experience
33:15subconsciously rooted my interests that
33:17I then chased in this life for some
33:19specific reason. I can't really call it
33:21either way, or maybe it's both.
33:24>> It's quite possibly both, because past,
33:26present, future all exist at the same
33:28time anyway.
33:29>> Right. I've had a
33:32I've had a lot of offers to do kind of
33:34like past life regressions and stuff,
33:35and I've just never played with it.
33:38Um
33:38I myself also have trust issues, and so
33:41I [laughter] don't I don't want any I
33:43don't want any strangers going into my
33:44head when I'm meditating, or you know,
33:46if I'm trying to connect to God, I don't
33:48want anybody kind of stepping in the
33:49way.
33:52>> And rightfully so.
33:54>> Yeah.
33:54>> It's interesting how these creations
33:57were given life and then carried on to
33:59do their own thing. Would that almost be
34:02like that having free will, or would
34:03they be more like your NPC characters?
34:08>> Um
34:10I don't know if there's a difference
34:12between having free will and being an
34:13NPC.
34:15There isn't really much. Um
34:18I mean, even in the biblical worldview,
34:20yeah, we're given free choice.
34:23And we we have this illusion of free
34:25will. I think that comes from our ego.
34:27Um we like to think that we're in
34:28control.
34:30But if there's an ultimate intelligence
34:33that is, you know, that knows all the
34:35decisions you'll ever make, knows all
34:37the decisions that you that you chose
34:39not to make as well,
34:40um
34:42then it's it's it's and if that thing is
34:45God, then it's God's will that we are
34:47just a part of.
34:49We have free choice. We have the freedom
34:50to make choices, but having cuz will is
34:53a is a deep thing.
34:56To truly have free will, you'd have to
34:57have no influence from any type of
34:59supernatural force or
35:03you know, you would have to not
35:04experience life to have free will. You
35:07would you'd have to have no past memory,
35:09you'd have to have no ambitions, you you
35:11know what I mean? To So to truly have
35:12free will, it's
35:13kind of difficult to get there, but um
35:16So I guess yeah, they would be more like
35:18NPCs, but not See, NPCs kind of like a
35:22it's got some baggage, negative baggage
35:23to it. Um I don't think being an NPC is
35:26as bad as people make it sound.
35:29>> So then wouldn't the difference between
35:31an NPC and a person who's
35:33awake would would be consciousness,
35:35would be the awareness of self?
35:39>> Mhm, being aware that you're an NPC,
35:41yeah.
35:41>> [laughter]
35:42>> Yeah. Well, that would be like the next
35:44level up, right? Cuz a lot of people are
35:47not awake. Yeah, you are looking at the
35:49tree and then thinking, well, I wonder
35:50if the tree has an awareness. Then maybe
35:52inside the tree and see it from the
35:53tree's point of view.
35:54>> Right. Maybe the next step next level up
35:57from that is
35:58being conscious of other people's levels
36:00of awareness. I mean, that's why people
36:02describe people as NPCs.
36:05Um or the whole woke woke culture,
36:07right? So like first you become the
36:09observer of yourself.
36:11But once you're good at that, you become
36:13the observer of the people around you.
36:14It's kind of it's kind of like a big
36:16puddle with ripple effects and what's
36:18interesting is
36:19the more
36:21aware that you become,
36:24the people around you become more aware
36:27because of your awareness. and it's and
36:28then they wake up in a sense.
36:31Um it's very interesting how we all kind
36:32of interact with each other in that way.
36:34We're all kind of reflections of each
36:36other.
36:37>> Yeah.
36:38How has your life changed? So, when you
36:40came out of all of this, you had
36:42felonies, you had all this
36:44stuff going on. How did you sort all of
36:46that out?
36:48>> Um
36:50my addictions and my criminal my
36:52criminality, kind of my outlaw lifestyle
36:54took me a while to figure that out. Um
36:58took me like another 10 years to kind of
37:00snap out of that.
37:02But
37:04I did um do some good things. It did
37:07lead to some good things in my life. Um
37:10while I might not have been the most
37:11responsible of person, I I chased
37:15certain ambitions. I became a very good
37:17artist. I started doing
37:19I got a license to tattoo and started
37:21tattooing professionally and doing body
37:23art. I was doing murals, painting
37:25graffiti murals for the city and
37:27different businesses around town. And so
37:29like I had a lot of these
37:31ways of expressing myself that I kind of
37:33picked up and got really really good at
37:36from that point forward.
37:37Um
37:39took took me a while to kind of uh you
37:41know, a lot of my childhood kind of made
37:43me go against authority and so it took
37:45me a while to kind of like be okay with
37:46authority and
37:48figure that out and kind of get on the
37:50straight and narrow and be a law-abiding
37:51citizen again, but
37:53um
37:54I would think that my experience
37:55definitely pushed me in more of a
37:56creative direction.
37:58Um you know, and a lot of times those
38:00creative directions involve a lot of
38:02chaos, too, but
38:04yeah, the chaos of my life didn't really
38:06change much initially. It's that's
38:10for my life to be like somewhat normal
38:12now is very new to me. This is I've only
38:13been like clean and out of jail and on
38:17the straight and narrow for 4 years out
38:19of like, you know,
38:20since I've been an adult.
38:22And so the whole I guess that's not It's
38:25feels fresh to me because I was living
38:27in chaos for so long. But yeah, um
38:30kind of being normal
38:32I guess living a normal life is still
38:34kind of fresh. It's only about 4 years.
38:37>> And how does it feel?
38:39>> Good. It feels good.
38:41Um
38:41It's boring.
38:43Very boring. But boring is good.
38:45Uh
38:46I had to learn to love what boring
38:48means.
38:50Because the other stuff, I mean it
38:52I don't care who you are and how much
38:54you love the outlaw lifestyle, you get
38:56tired of it. It get chaos Living in
38:58chaos
39:00it's not It's not ever good for chaos to
39:01become your norm.
39:03Uh
39:05and it it does for a lot of people, but
39:07um that's what makes it hard to snap out
39:09of it because then
39:11normality is uncomfortable.
39:14And so you have to like
39:16you know, when your your your ego, your
39:18subconscious wants to keep you
39:19comfortable.
39:20And so you stay doing the things that
39:22you're used to because it's comfortable.
39:25So, it was interesting having to figure
39:27out
39:28um
39:29you know, I used my my spiritual
39:31practice and, you know, seeking these
39:33deeper spiritual
39:36um lessons and knowledge and connecting
39:38to God and prayer and all these things
39:41I I kind of like leaned on that as a
39:43crutch to
39:44um
39:46handle my discomforts with living a
39:48normal life and um becoming a
39:50responsible adult and, you know, paying
39:52all my obligations, my financial and
39:55legal obligations to the state and to
39:57the people that were involved in my
39:58crimes and stuff.
40:00Um
40:01but
40:02because I could because I had a
40:05spiritual life to heavily lean on, it
40:06made it a little bit easier.
40:09Definitely.
40:11>> It's a bit of a
40:12a an oxymoron because
40:15it's comfortable not being comfortable.
40:18>> Right. Yeah, yeah.
40:20Um yeah, it's all backwards. I literally
40:22had to fall in love with
40:24discomfort. And it I mean, that stuff
40:26kind of still drags out a little bit. I
40:27still have a little bit of social
40:28anxiety.
40:29I do a lot of streaming on like TikTok
40:32and YouTube and stuff, so conversations
40:34through the phone are very easy for me.
40:36But,
40:38if I go to church or if I go grocery
40:40shopping, I'm still hypertensive,
40:43um aware of my surroundings from, you
40:45know, I was incarcerated for a long time
40:47and that lifestyle makes you you always
40:50have to look over your shoulder. I'm
40:51always like
40:53keeping an eye out for somebody that
40:54making sure nobody crosses the line or
40:56disrespects me or, you know, gets in my
40:58personal space. It's it's kind of wild,
41:00but it's getting better. Better with
41:02time. The one thing is, you just kind of
41:04have to throw yourself into that
41:05discomfort for it to ever heal. You have
41:08to
41:09um you know, I just thought about this
41:10very deeply the other day.
41:12There's a difference between forgiving
41:13something or someone and forgetting it.
41:16And it's the same with trauma or healing
41:18from anything in your past. It You have
41:20to face it. You kind of have to face
41:22your demons to cleanse yourself of these
41:24spirits and um
41:26the best way I would say the only way to
41:28do that is to dive into what makes you
41:30uncomfortable.
41:32For sure.
41:34>> I'll say with you.
41:35And and the irony is that the more you
41:38do that, the more comfortable you get
41:40with it. And then it's actually
41:41enjoyable even though it's painful.
41:44>> Right.
41:46I agree.
41:47>> So, you're a Rosicrucian now?
41:49>> Mhm. Yeah, I'm a Rosicrucian initiate.
41:51I've been
41:53studying A lot of people get it
41:54misconstrued. There are Rosicrucians
41:56that treat it as their religion, but it
41:58is just a metaphysical school. They just
42:00teach
42:01um they teach a little bit about human
42:04theology and history, but they mainly
42:06teach about metaphysical concepts.
42:09Uh I've been doing that for about a year
42:11and a couple months.
42:13>> Part of these secret societies, is that
42:15also what they do or is it or is it more
42:17open?
42:19>> Um, it's very public, actually.
42:21It's always been that way. It just seems
42:23it's it's just shunned by, you know,
42:26mainstream religious
42:29areas in the in the world and society.
42:30And so it's it's kind of pushed into a
42:32corner where some of it is secretive.
42:35Um, like you have to be a member to
42:37access their libraries and stuff like
42:39that. But
42:40um, and you all obviously you have to be
42:42a member to take part in the uh, you
42:44know, in the initiations and the
42:45ceremonies at the temples and such. But
42:49outside of that
42:51it's very public. It's very accessible
42:53to the public.
42:55Anybody with
42:56a couple extra dollars can become a
42:58member and have access to those
42:59libraries. So it's really not like you
43:02know, I didn't have to do nothing crazy
43:04to become one.
43:05>> I suppose people fear what they don't
43:07know.
43:08>> Right, yeah.
43:10Yep. And there's a lot, I mean, we're
43:12we're kind of at least in America in the
43:15West, we're kind of
43:18still stuck in this like state where
43:21we're pushing through like the
43:23Renaissance.
43:24Medieval Christianity is kind of echoed
43:27into today's world. And now with all the
43:28evangelical churches around the around
43:30America, um, and this clash of like
43:33LGBTQ and all of these different uh,
43:36pro-life, non-pro-life, all of these
43:38things that are kind of clashing and it
43:39all seems to be like
43:42fighting against like Judeo-Christian
43:44values, but the majority of the
43:47Christians in America are still like
43:50riding off of the high of the
43:51Renaissance where it's like if you're
43:53different, we fear you. If you're
43:55different, you're of the devil. If
43:56you're different, all of these, you
43:57know, very vicious things.
44:00Um,
44:01and so it's I mean, not a lot of people
44:03are even aware of that stuff, you know.
44:05That's why I'm very grateful that I fell
44:08in love with religious history and
44:10theology because you you know, when you
44:12study these things, the world makes a
44:14lot more sense when you understand why
44:15it is the way it is.
44:17>> If it's helpful and it makes you feel
44:19good, how can that be of the devil?
44:22>> Well,
44:23I mean, to play the devil's advocate
44:25here,
44:27every a lot of things that are bad for
44:29you feel good.
44:31>> No, I get that.
44:33What was the most impactful part of your
44:35experience would you say?
44:38>> Um the moment that I realized I could
44:41like when I observed my myself observing
44:43my thoughts and I could create,
44:46which then turned into a tree. First
44:47started with light and then it turned to
44:49a physical material in front of me.
44:52Uh that was like the most profound
44:54part of it was because
44:58I mean, I realized that my thoughts were
44:59something that I could observe and so I
45:01was almost like two trains of thought
45:03happening at once, which is exactly how
45:04we are here. We have our mind, our body,
45:06and our spirit. And uh
45:08the best way to connect to God or to
45:10spirit is to observe your thoughts. And
45:12so that's what I was doing there and
45:13what it did was lead me into creating a
45:15new world. It was beautiful stuff.
45:19>> That sounds exactly like what we should
45:21be doing right now.
45:22>> Mhm, the world could use a little more
45:24of
45:25minding their thoughts for sure.
45:28>> So, surely, I mean, you've got this
45:30insight that you can create anything
45:32with your mind. Have you felt the need
45:34to the pull towards doing something like
45:36that?
45:36>> Mhm. So,
45:39I was a neo-pagan for the majority of my
45:41adult life. Being a Christian something
45:43that's very new to me, just a couple
45:45months. I got baptized a couple months
45:46ago.
45:47And so,
45:49uh
45:51I have experience with
45:53like the new age twist on hermetic
45:56laws of mentalism and attraction and uh
46:01manifestation. And
46:03I have experience with doing it on my
46:05own. I also have experience with
46:06contract which ritualism where I have
46:09spiritual entities doing these things
46:11and making these things for me.
46:13I feed them, they give me what I want.
46:16Um so I have experience of both and that
46:19then I found it the best happy medium
46:21place to be is in relationship with a
46:24higher power which now for me is Jesus
46:27Christ and so I don't have to give him
46:30much.
46:31I just have to live correctly which you
46:33know benefits me, benefits my family,
46:36benefits the community I live in and um
46:39and I give my what I the things that I
46:42want or that I think of manifesting I
46:45give to God in prayer. And so the
46:47mechanisms are all the same. I'm still
46:50observing my thoughts and producing
46:51thoughts that then come to fruition
46:54and my prayers are answered.
46:57And so but yeah I'm doing kind of both.
46:59I'm I'm you know, I'm working on
47:01manifesting on my own but I do recognize
47:03that a lot of it has to do with this
47:04spiritual connection that I give to God.
47:08>> Yeah, I think that's such an important
47:09message people need to hear.
47:11>> Mhm. I think it's more effective if you
47:14have a spiritual connection with God
47:16versus say
47:18an atheist that's trying to practice
47:20manifestation, you know.
47:23>> Well, I mean just from a frequency point
47:25of view it's so low frequency.
47:27You would have a hard [clears throat]
47:28time making much.
47:30>> Yeah.
47:31>> Well, that was amazing. Shane, if people
47:33want to connect with you, how do they
47:35contact you?
47:37>> Yeah, so I'm on
47:38>> [clears throat]
47:38>> TikTok and
47:40YouTube at Lord and Lady.
47:43And then on both of those I have a link
47:45tree where you can reach out to any of
47:47those links on my link tree. I just
47:49started a Patreon as well so I think you
47:51can message me on my Patreon account.
47:54>> I'll post all those links in the
47:56description.
47:57>> Awesome.
47:57>> All right, just before we go, do you
47:59have a message for our viewers?
48:02>> Um I would say
48:05for the most part, follow your heart.
48:08I followed my heart even when it in a
48:10lot in a lot of the times your heart's
48:11going to guide you to things that go
48:12against what the world wants for you.
48:15So follow your heart viciously, even if
48:17you're going against the world.
48:19You know,
48:20follow your gut, follow your heart. Um
48:24cuz I believe that
48:27God will guide you in that way. And so
48:30it's important to follow your heart even
48:32if it's going against the grain, even if
48:33you're going to find friction or run
48:35into walls.
48:36Um you know, keep that connection with
48:38your higher power. I would suggest a lot
48:41if if people haven't read the Bible,
48:43flip that book open, it's going to open
48:46up a whole new world of connection with
48:47higher power. And
48:49yeah, stay you want to stay more in tune
48:52with your heart and the guidance from
48:54God than you do of things of the world.
48:58>> Thank you very much.

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