Make every day meaningful: THE WAY OF EXCELLENCE by Brad Stulberg — Transcript

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1. 0:00I recently read The Way of Excellence, A
2. 0:03Guide to True Greatness and Deep
3. 0:05Satisfaction in a Chaotic World by Brad
4. 0:07Stulberg.
5. 0:09If I offered you the chance to live in a
6. 0:11tube where you'd lie down and be
7. 0:13guaranteed constant euphoria every
8. 0:15minute of every day,
9. 0:17would you take it?
10. 0:18Almost no one does.
11. 0:20That's because we value a life of
12. 0:21effort, even when that effort causes
13. 0:24frustration.
14. 0:25Say you're writing a chapter of a book
15. 0:27and you can't quite get the words right.
16. 0:29When you keep pushing and finally
17. 0:31experience a breakthrough, you're much
18. 0:33happier that you spent two hours doing
19. 0:34that than scrolling on your phone.
20. 0:37In The Way of Excellence, Brad Stulberg
21. 0:39encourages us to build our lives around
22. 0:41a special kind of effort.
23. 0:43Put simply, we should pursue a life of
24. 0:45excellence, which Brad defines as
25. 0:47complete engagement in something that
26. 0:49aligns with our strongest values.
27. 0:52That definition makes excellence
28. 0:53available to anyone.
29. 0:55You don't need to be a star athlete or a
30. 0:56famous musician, and you don't need to
31. 0:58be anywhere near perfect at what you do.
32. 1:01You just need a pursuit that matters to
33. 1:02you and a desire to keep getting better
34. 1:04at it.
35. 1:06As you strive for excellence, you
36. 1:07strengthen the traits you most respect
37. 1:09about yourself.
38. 1:11Say you value craftsmanship and you're
39. 1:13learning to build a table.
40. 1:15Each time you take the extra time to fit
41. 1:16a joint properly, you're choosing
42. 1:18craftsmanship.
43. 1:20The struggle to get it right and to get
44. 1:21better at making tables shows the type
45. 1:23of person you are.
46. 1:25This is how meaning and joy show up in
47. 1:26the ordinary hours of effort and get you
48. 1:28excited to get out of bed each morning.
49. 1:31It's not about hitting a big goal. It's
50. 1:33about staying on the path of excellence.
51. 1:35But staying on the path is difficult and
52. 1:37requires you to cultivate a set of vital
53. 1:39habits.
54. 1:40Habits like upkeeping your identity
55. 1:42house, raising the floor and lowering
56. 1:44the ceiling, and enjoying the climb.
57. 1:47Let's start with habit number one.
58. 1:49Upkeeping your identity house.
59. 1:51Living a life of excellence means
60. 1:53putting yourself more on the line
61. 1:55emotionally than you might want to.
62. 1:57You have to care about getting better so
63. 2:00that it hurts when things aren't going
64. 2:01well.
65. 2:02Feeling stuck in your pursuit should
66. 2:04feel like your child is sick. You can't
67. 2:07stop thinking about it, and you'd do
68. 2:08anything to make it better.
69. 2:10Many people avoid caring that much, and
70. 2:12they fail to unlock higher levels of
71. 2:14fulfillment.
72. 2:15However, caring too much risks making a
73. 2:18pursuit your entire identity.
74. 2:21Think of it like owning a house where
75. 2:22you can only live in one room.
76. 2:24If that room floods and needs repairs,
77. 2:26you have to move out of the whole house,
78. 2:28and that upends your life.
79. 2:30That flooded room is like losing your
80. 2:32job, getting injured, or watching a
81. 2:34project stall.
82. 2:36When it's your only room, you lose your
83. 2:38sense of who you are, and it's hard to
84. 2:40find the energy to get back in the game.
85. 2:43But if you create an identity house with
86. 2:45several other rooms you can stay in
87. 2:46while your main room gets repaired, you
88. 2:48never get knocked out of the game.
89. 2:51That doesn't mean every room in your
90. 2:52house needs equal attention.
91. 2:54In fact, your main pursuit has to be the
92. 2:56biggest room and should get most of your
93. 2:58energy.
94. 3:00You just need to spend enough time each
95. 3:01week in two or three other areas of your
96. 3:03life to feel confident and competent in
97. 3:05them.
98. 3:06Those rooms only need to be livable
99. 3:08after a setback in the area you care
100. 3:10about most.
101. 3:12To find what your smaller rooms could
102. 3:13be, ask yourself what interested you as
103. 3:15a kid.
104. 3:17Maybe it's a sport you used to play, and
105. 3:19you can go shoot baskets, hit tennis
106. 3:20balls, or work through a bucket of golf
107. 3:22balls and feel a bit of skill come back.
108. 3:25It could be a creative pursuit like
109. 3:27writing or woodworking or a game like
110. 3:29chess.
111. 3:30It can also be a relationship like being
112. 3:32an exceptional friend, spouse, or
113. 3:34parent, so you know you're needed and
114. 3:36loved no matter how your main pursuit is
115. 3:38going.
116. 3:40Excellence habit number two,
117. 3:42raise the floor and lower the ceiling.
118. 3:45Stolberg says, "Performative greatness
119. 3:48is obsessed with heroic days,
120. 3:50but actual greatness concerns itself
121. 3:52with heroic decades.
122. 3:54Everyone loves to broadcast heroic
123. 3:55efforts, the string of all-nighters
124. 3:57before a launch, the workout that ends
125. 3:59in vomit, the creative burst that lasts
126. 4:02a week.
127. 4:03Stolberg admits that if he wanted to
128. 4:05write as much as possible in a single
129. 4:06week, he'd skip sleep and live on Red
130. 4:09Bull, espresso, and cigarettes.
131. 4:11He'd get a lot done.
132. 4:12But those heroic efforts would slowly
133. 4:14make him resent the work and put his
134. 4:16lifelong pursuit of excellence at risk.
135. 4:20The key to lifelong excellence is
136. 4:22consistency, and consistency comes from
137. 4:24a lower ceiling and a higher floor.
138. 4:27Lowering the ceiling means working hard,
139. 4:29but always stopping short.
140. 4:31It's like doing a set in the gym.
141. 4:33You push hard and feel the burn, but you
142. 4:35stop while you still have two reps in
143. 4:37reserve, so you can recover faster and
144. 4:39return in 2 days.
145. 4:41In a creative pursuit, that means
146. 4:43working until you've built up some
147. 4:44momentum and experienced a breakthrough,
148. 4:47then stopping mid-sentence, so you have
149. 4:48a clear starting point tomorrow.
150. 4:51A good rule of thumb is to keep your
151. 4:52effort between a five and a seven, with
152. 4:5510 being all-out effort.
153. 4:58Raising the floor means always doing
154. 4:59something, even on bad days.
155. 5:02As Stolberg puts it, "Nothing brings
156. 5:04down an average like a zero."
157. 5:07When he's writing a book, he aims for a
158. 5:08thousand words on writing days.
159. 5:11But on a bad day, he's not ashamed to
160. 5:12drop his target and write just 200
161. 5:15words.
162. 5:16The point is to lower the bar enough so
163. 5:17you do something stupid small and avoid
164. 5:19a no-show.
165. 5:21Excellence habit number three, enjoy the
166. 5:24climb.
167. 5:25Brad poses a thought experiment
168. 5:27comparing two mountain climbers.
169. 5:29The first climber spends the whole climb
170. 5:31thinking about the top.
171. 5:33He's picturing the photos he'll take,
172. 5:34the praise he'll get from his friends,
173. 5:36and the way he'll finally feel like he's
174. 5:38worth something.
175. 5:39Because of that, he rushes the entire
176. 5:41process.
177. 5:43The second climber pays attention to the
178. 5:44climb itself.
179. 5:46He stops to look at the view and takes
180. 5:48in what's happening around him.
181. 5:50Which of these climbers do you think
182. 5:51will last longer and get through long
183. 5:53stretches when the results aren't coming
184. 5:55as expected?
185. 5:57Most of us are the first climber.
186. 6:00We rush right past the good moments, the
187. 6:02small wins, the sessions where
188. 6:04everything clicks, and the days we
189. 6:06realize how lucky we are.
190. 6:08Studies find that when we take time to
191. 6:09savor those moments, we perform from a
192. 6:12place of security and freedom, instead
193. 6:14of stress and anxiety, which leads to
194. 6:16higher performance for longer.
195. 6:18That's why social psychologist Fred
196. 6:20Bryant says we must make a habit of
197. 6:22savoring the little moments on purpose.
198. 6:25After a good session in which you figure
199. 6:26something out, hit a breakthrough, or
200. 6:28get into a flow,
201. 6:30take a minute to feel the joy of what
202. 6:31you just did.
203. 6:33Savor the moment, then write it down in
204. 6:35an excellence joy journal, or talk about
205. 6:37it with a friend.
206. 6:39If you only allow yourself to feel joy
207. 6:41after a big win, like a championship,
208. 6:44you will be sorely disappointed when
209. 6:45that win comes.
210. 6:47The big wins are never as satisfying as
211. 6:49you think they will be, and delaying joy
212. 6:51only causes stress and anxiety to build,
213. 6:54which leads you to resent what you're
214. 6:55doing.
215. 6:57That's why coaches of dynasties, like
216. 6:59Bill Walsh, Dawn Staley, and Steve Kerr,
217. 7:02all teach some version of the same
218. 7:03thing.
219. 7:04Fall in love with the work, enjoy the
220. 7:06process, and let the results take care
221. 7:08of themselves.
222. 7:10In the end,
223. 7:12excellence does not have a finish line.
224. 7:14It's a process of continuously improving
225. 7:16and getting increasingly engaged in a
226. 7:18craft or skill that aligns with your
227. 7:20strongest values.
228. 7:22Begin your pursuit of excellence by
229. 7:23emotionally investing in the work, so it
230. 7:26hurts when things don't go well, but
231. 7:28always tend to the smaller rooms in your
232. 7:29identity house, so you have other
233. 7:31identities to fall back on when things
234. 7:32get hard.
235. 7:34Stay on the path to excellence by always
236. 7:36raising the floor and lowering the
237. 7:38ceiling to maintain consistency.
238. 7:41And finally, learn to enjoy the climb by
239. 7:43savoring small wins.
240. 7:46Adopt these habits, and you'll find more
241. 7:48joy and meaning in your everyday effort.
242. 7:51That was the core message that I
243. 7:52gathered from The Way of Excellence by
244. 7:54Brad Stulberg.
245. 7:56This book offers a great road map for an
246. 7:58inspiring way to live. I highly
247. 8:00recommend it.
248. 8:02If you would like a one-page PDF summary
249. 8:04of the insights I gathered from this
250. 8:05book, just click the link in the
251. 8:06description below, and I'll email it to
252. 8:08you.
253. 8:09If you're already signed up for the free
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255. 8:13is in your inbox.