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Listen to Immaculee Ilibagiza, renowned author and survivor of the Rwandan Genocide — Transcript

by Holy Love Ministries - Official Channel · 9,593 words · 1,272 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:02happy feast a of divine mercy it's a
0:07beautiful beautiful day we have a lot to
0:09be thankful for who would think after a
0:16week of rain that we would have the last
0:18two days being as beautiful and warm as
0:20they are so we have lots to be thankful
0:22for and most especially we have a very
0:24special guest immaculately we'll be
0:27speaking
0:28momentarily but welcome to Maranatha
0:31spring and shrine home of holy love
0:34ministries were all a welcome all are
0:38invited to come and see were grace
0:42abounds for all of God's children
0:48immaculee is a survivor of the 1994
0:53Rwandan genocide that took the lives of
0:56nearly 1 million Tutsis men women and
1:01children including her entire family
1:05except for one of her brothers were all
1:10massacred at the hands of Hutu Marauders
1:13immaculee found shelter at a pastor's
1:16home where she and seven other women hid
1:21from the deadly rebel mob in a 3 by 4
1:25foot bathroom for 91 days during those
1:3291 days of unimaginable suffering
1:35immaculee found her faith taught herself
1:38English and most incredibly committed
1:42her herself to a life of peace hope and
1:46forgiveness even for those who had
1:50murdered her family immaculee has gone
1:53on to work at the United Nations we see
1:58five honorary doctoral degrees
2:00right seven books about her faith in her
2:03life journey and as a recipient of the
2:07mahatma gandhi international award for
2:10reconciliation and peace please join me
2:16in watching this brief video I was born
2:22in Iran de
2:25LaRhonda is a tiny country located in
2:29the Central Africa it was and still is
2:33one of the most beautiful places in the
2:36world they're green and perfect tropical
2:40weather
2:44[Music]
2:47my village was in Kabul our house was a
2:51hill that overlooked Lake evil
3:03my mum and dad were teachers they were
3:07very good parents who were very
3:09respected in the village in my family we
3:14were four children I was one girl among
3:16three boys we loved each other a lot we
3:20were very protective until the last time
3:23we separated there was a rebellion going
3:26on and ethnically based rebellion in
3:29Rwanda right after the holiday I had an
3:35exam read an important exam the regime
3:38and Rwanda that was responsible for the
3:41genocide was a criminal regime it
3:44operated according to the logic of
3:47criminal gangs so I wrote to my parents
3:50and I thought them I wanted to stay in
3:52school to prepare for my exam and the
3:56aim of the of the military dictatorship
3:59was to preserve power by eliminating
4:02that rebellion my father said we'll miss
4:06you and you have been away so much away
4:09from us so I went home Easter vacation
4:14that here changed everything in my life
4:21the president is plane was shot down and
4:25the genocide had begun the two leaders
4:28died after attending peace talks aimed
4:30at ending decades of tribal conflict in
4:33the two countries president Javier Iman
4:35of Rwanda and president and Terry Amira
4:38Abbar undie were killed when their plane
4:39came down near the Rwandan capital
4:42Kigali both were members of the majority
4:44Hutu tribe when the president's plane
4:47was shot down
4:47it just was was chaos within less than
4:51an hour
4:52you started to hear the gunfire in your
4:54own neighborhood right up close to you
4:56before it was always kind of far away
4:58and it's like it just spread everywhere
5:07it was a very well-organized program of
5:11genocide it had been established before
5:14the plane went down and was just waiting
5:16for this event or an event like it to
5:18click an emotion these people had lists
5:20they had lists of people that had to be
5:23killed that and then it became crazy
5:25[Music]
5:31and I remember my father telling me we
5:33are worried that he might get ripped and
5:35we are worried that we can't help you
5:39but they were going home to home
5:41neighborhood to neighborhood breaking
5:44down doors hacking people to death some
5:47of the names of Tutsis were being
5:49broadcast on the radio look what I do
5:55everything we do I don't meet anybody
5:57everybody look over in Iran we go for it
6:00buddy when I saw
6:05immaculee back in in her own home area
6:10and she says to the photographer he'd
6:12come and take a picture of me with this
6:14man and and I'm asking her who's this
6:16man and she explains to me well his
6:18brother killed my brother and I'm like
6:20wait you know my Western mind is kicking
6:22in and I got to understand who what the
6:24details and stuff and she just puts her
6:25arm around them and she says no it's
6:27okay it's okay
6:28I just about lost it because it's not
6:35okay you read in the powerful little
6:39Museum here in Kigali a young Rwandan
6:42child saying if you would have really
6:45known me for who I was you could have
6:49never killed me
6:52[Music]
7:28when I think about heroes here in Rwanda
7:31I think about people like immaculee who
7:37are willing now to share what life is
7:41like going back touching on it exploring
7:45it for her to take the time and to visit
7:52these places with people like us and let
7:54us share in some of that grief and some
7:57of that process takes unimaginable
8:00courage I did hate of course I was very
8:07angry during the bathroom time I could
8:10understand how another human being can
8:13cause you so much pain and why we were
8:19all created whenever chose to be who we
8:24become we don't choose our risks we
8:27don't choose our tribe we don't even
8:29through the country where we are born
8:31and I thought that I can pay them back
8:34for what they were doing to me and thank
8:37God I was able to see that that was
8:41useless that was only going to prolong
8:43the pain and hatred in this world today
8:49immaculee is regarded as one of the
8:52world's leading speakers on faith hope
8:55and forgiveness she has shared this
8:59universal message with world leaders
9:02schoolchildren multinational
9:04corporations churches and at events and
9:08conferences around the world including a
9:12recent presentation to over 200,000
9:15people and say Paulo Brazil a
9:18motion-picture about her story is
9:21expected next year 2006
9:25it is with great honor and humility that
9:28I present to you miss immaculately thank
9:42you thank you so much thank you thank
9:50you
9:50she's really a great joy to be here it
9:54is a dream come true you know when I
9:57moved to the United States back 1998
10:02I remember missing so much a place where
10:07Mary appeared in our country in Rwanda a
10:10place called Cuba ho and I went on
10:13internet and I started to Google any
10:16place our ladies appearing in America
10:19because I miss her I miss a place where
10:22heaven is speaking with the earth and
10:24Holy Love came up I wasn't sure what was
10:28when that was going to be because I had
10:30to discern to think and I put my email
10:34and I started to receive the messages
10:36every message was like my father who
10:41loved me I don't have anymore he's back
10:44giving me the right advice I need in
10:48life in my faith every message our lady
10:52gave was like that's all I needed to
10:54hear
10:55the message the Saints were giving and a
10:59few weeks later I traveled here
11:02I remember our bus broke down on the way
11:05it took me 20 hours to get here it was
11:10that time with a apparitions were
11:12happening at midnight I came right after
11:15the operation and they were reading the
11:18message so right on time and I turned
11:21back I went back to New York but it is a
11:25dream come true to be able to speak here
11:27we praise God and think Our Lady because
11:31this place
11:32the messages our Lord have been giving
11:34our lady have been feeding my soul and
11:38have showed me how to live in this
11:42foreign country with the same mother the
11:44same father who I met in a convey home
11:48so I'm so happy to be here and even more
11:51to be here on divine mercy happy Divine
11:55Mercy Feast of the Lord it is so good to
11:59be here because given my story I
12:03wouldn't be here without Divine Mercy
12:07the mercy of God and I don't consider
12:11myself more fortunate than those who
12:14died because I know God knows everything
12:17why they happen but I am so grateful
12:21because I learned so much through that
12:25terrible experience so much that I
12:28preparing me I gave me enough weapons to
12:32prepare heaven to prepare my death so
12:36that at least I can do some good things
12:39when I stand in front of God and might
12:42you know on the day of judgment I can
12:44say I have tried to do this and that so
12:47I am happy that I stayed behind I'm
12:49grateful to God
12:50anyway you saw in the documentary you
12:53heard about my story the genocide was a
12:58terrible thing a terrible thing to
13:00happen I would not wish anyone to see
13:03you what I have seen but the lessons I
13:07learned are invaluable and one of the
13:10main main lesson was the power of love
13:15and even more importantly the damage of
13:21lack of loss of hatred when we ignore
13:25love of one another love of God enough
13:30respect His commandments what it can
13:32happen I remember thinking I used to
13:35take low for it simple I love my shoes I
13:38love my clothes but
13:40you see the love we love one another
13:43when it's not there a thing wreckage in
13:47a society can happen so love became a
13:50really more important I used to work at
13:53a United Nations and sometimes that we
13:56say oh this should never happen again
13:58and then I'm looking in the office there
14:02people who don't like each other and the
14:04end they the ones who are saying they
14:06want to protect the world from genocide
14:09happening and I think less not here
14:12let's start caring for one another in
14:15the office you cannot say this will not
14:19happen as long as people don't love one
14:22another and if we want peace we need to
14:26tell people in the give place to love
14:29and really encourage each other to treat
14:32each other kindly so love was renewed
14:35for me another big lesson was
14:40forgiveness you know I used to think you
14:44forgive somebody who says something bad
14:46about you but not somebody who is
14:49killing you someone who killed your
14:51parents
14:51until you realize or forgiveness is
14:55actually I was there and member time
14:59when I was so angry my poisonous
15:02thoughts will lead me to feel like my
15:05body's burning my heart will be running
15:09faster out of anger my blood is running
15:12out of anger I will be sweating out of
15:17my bad thoughts because I was angry and
15:19when that was gone when I was about to
15:23find forgiveness in my heart I realized
15:26that I was trying to be even worse the
15:30world was going was being done to me
15:33what I hated which was hate is what I
15:36was trying to become and when I find out
15:39forgiveness in my heart it or medicines
15:43forgiveness felt like peace forgiveness
15:47felt like freedom instead of having that
15:52of
15:52thinking about that and those and those
15:54I started to think about me and to start
15:58to think about other people how can I
16:01help the situation more than the
16:03becoming a part of that hate and I said
16:06how did I in the beginning wanted to be
16:09worse than evil so it was really a lot
16:12of lesson God pushed me to go through
16:15that pain to be able to understand what
16:18really matters so I have been speaking
16:22around the world since 2000 2006 and I'm
16:25so grateful especially for people who
16:28write to me and tell me that my story
16:31have touched their hearts I remember a
16:34woman have we never forget she told me
16:36after I heard his story I went home I
16:40pick up the phone after 20 years of not
16:45speaking to my mother out after I blow
16:48up after I blow up I caught her we
16:52laughed and cried and she said to me I
16:56cannot believe how much affection I have
16:59wasted how much love I prevented my
17:03children from having from the owner
17:05grandmother because of my anger and I
17:09didn't know I can just change my mind
17:12like that and now I have more love in my
17:15heart I'm more happier than when I had
17:17anger those are the people who really
17:19gave me the courage to continue to share
17:22with the world so anyway as we saw in
17:25the documentary the genocide started 94
17:28in 1994 I was a student in the college
17:31and I was home for Easter holiday and
17:34Mehmet was three days after Easter one
17:38morning my brother came to my room
17:40pushed the door and gave me the news
17:43that the president of the country have
17:45died
17:46I remember jumping out of the bed and I
17:48said oh my god they going to kill us and
17:51he said why
17:53well in some ways we were prepared in
17:57Rwanda as he saw in the scent of Africa
18:00we had
18:02main tribes who to inclusive and somehow
18:06I belong to the tribe of Tutsi and
18:09somehow we knew that there are problems
18:12against us nowhere loved by the
18:14government people loved each other I was
18:17in college to this day my best friend is
18:20from the tribe brutal
18:22so people loved each other but somehow
18:24the politicians behind it for the sake
18:27of keeping their power they wanted to
18:31get rid of these people so we can't new
18:34you saw that radio in the documentary it
18:37was created by the leaders of the
18:39country literally to spread hatred among
18:43people the two tribes
18:45another thing that prepared us was the
18:49apparitions of the Blessed Mother I
18:52cannot tell you how blessed how lucky if
18:57I can use the reward you are you to be
19:01able to have these operations of my lady
19:03of Jesus we are living in the time of
19:07two thousand years ago when Jesus
19:09himself was here and I was telling the
19:12disciples what to do I can question a
19:14priest I can a question and be shocked
19:17but I can question you as a human being
19:20but you know what it is when you can
19:22believe is Jesus who said so you don't
19:25have to think too much you just have to
19:27do because he's God it doesn't make a
19:30mistake you always him you know he's
19:34always right so the Blessed Mother
19:36appeared in nineteen nineteen eighty one
19:39twelve years before the genocide and one
19:42of the main message he gave to a country
19:46was that a terrible thing was going to
19:49happen to us if we did not come back to
19:52God if we do not come back to respect
19:56God's commandment to the later if with
19:59no come back to forgive one another to
20:02love one another our lady cried I
20:05remember one time it was her feasts
20:09assumption when she came she was crying
20:11she showed the children people killing
20:14each other of machetes
20:15a ream of blood as she said that is
20:18coming if you don't change your heart
20:20and you know what I'm sure your people
20:23who believed in these messages she was
20:26not well received even priests bishops
20:29said Oh Mary doesn't talk about that she
20:33doesn't talk about bad things and she
20:36came back she said my children you want
20:38me to keep quiet when I see tragedies
20:42coming to my children I am trying to
20:45protect you
20:46I'm not warning you to say oh look at
20:48that it's coming she said I want you to
20:51do this to be able to change it
20:53any person who knew the operations of a
20:58lady before the genocide today they wish
21:02we had listened all she was asking was
21:05respect God's commandment look at each
21:08other like brothers and really mean it
21:11pick up your rosaries pray from the
21:14heart help one another she even sent
21:17messages to the leaders of the churches
21:19or Catholic churches preach about love
21:22and system love if you don't believe me
21:25at least preach or do you know in the
21:27Bible about love preach about
21:30forgiveness there is say well we're not
21:32sure if tis you and sadly as she said
21:37and she came back during the genocide
21:39and she said my children this is what I
21:42was trying to protect you from and you
21:45didn't listen and sadly it is after
21:50every prophecy she was trying to protect
21:52us from came true every warning came
21:55true that the church approved it but
21:58what she was trying to do is to protect
22:00us from the genocide not to wait until
22:02it happens then they can say oh she was
22:05right she said the truth for you who
22:09believe here please listen to discern
22:12but listen with all your heart you don't
22:15know how much you might be protecting
22:17yourself even when the church is not
22:20believing here we have the Holy Spirit
22:23inside
22:24and eat soon or later they're going to
22:27follow you I used to go to my bishop and
22:30one I'm like a bishop when are you when
22:31to approve these you have to do
22:33something can't you see and he used to
22:36say well let me see people changing
22:39their hearts lets us see the fruits then
22:42we'll think about that I want to push
22:44your buttons until you can prove to us
22:46we are really listening and we have
22:48changed our hearts so it is you who will
22:51convince the church it is you who will
22:53change their mind but the messages
22:56concerned us today as it did before the
23:01genocide that's when we needed to change
23:03knowing after a million people was
23:07killed so anyway so now my brother told
23:10me my mind went back to keep a hoe oh my
23:14this is what our lady was telling us oh
23:16by the way I have this to say this
23:19beside the message our lady gave us
23:23about the genocide that was coming the
23:26number one message was for me and for
23:30one dance for the world who heard a
23:32little kitty who was to feel the most
23:36loving mother our lady the Blessed
23:41Mother she was so sweet so kind I
23:45remember some of the visionaries they
23:47used to tell me you know the church who
23:49she was what she said and these
23:52operations were happening in public like
23:54here and then the you know they pretty
23:58that the priests and the investigators
24:01of the church would say but he talked to
24:04her like she's a mother she's like a
24:07friend you call her sweetheart
24:09you called her darling that's not right
24:11remember she's the queen she's a man of
24:14God
24:15it can't be Our Lady and the kid said
24:18Bishop I think we are talking about a
24:21different lady because the one who comes
24:25to us yes she's a queen you can't even
24:29stand in front of her without being on
24:31your knees that how holy she is
24:34but the same the lady we see she's a
24:38matter she's kind she's in the mood of
24:41joking she want to tease us she's really
24:45drawing us in to play with her like
24:48really the command that we trust more
24:50than our own mother's I don't think
24:53we're talking about the same lady and of
24:55course later it was approved they
24:58realized that the same lady who wants to
25:00be taken as a mother to play with to be
25:03called you know I mean our lady Nikki
25:05who she used to come to the bedroom of
25:07the kids I remember one a miracle that
25:10happened she came back and I want three
25:12in the morning they were sleeping this
25:14is my friend who is Protestant who
25:16didn't believe it she was in the same
25:19dormitory she said she's so a big light
25:22like a ball of light it was a miracle
25:24we are Mary went through the beds of
25:27each student
25:28at night it was a boarding school they
25:31saw the light only just like moving and
25:33the light went right on the top of the
25:36bed of the visionary and then after the
25:40vision is spoke to a lady she said to
25:43all the students who saw the light she
25:45said I just wanted to tell my children
25:48to reassure them that even when they are
25:51sleeping I'm watching over them that is
25:55the kind mother we got to know somebody
25:58get made rocked by there but this is a
26:00drunk not a message somebody told me I
26:04love that joke but one time Jesus was
26:08working in heaven as he does and then he
26:12saw so many people coming in heaven and
26:14then he went to Peter who is supposed to
26:17have the key to the gate of heaven and
26:20he said Peter are you checking people
26:22well how come there is unusual number of
26:26people in heaven Peter said my lord I'm
26:29checking them well but your mother
26:32opened the back door
26:37oh and to tell you the truth if you want
26:46me to tell you the lady
26:47I came to experience because I never had
26:50apparitions but I was there many times
26:53when she's appearing when she's telling
26:55the vision rated PBS I think that's her
26:58lady I don't think she would bring us in
27:00heaven dirty but she will do all it
27:05takes to teach you how to pray to teach
27:09about the Seven Sorrows rosary how to
27:11say the Rosary to bring a new rose with
27:14unborn so she can say it so you can say
27:17I have more Grace's she will teach you
27:19how to go to confession so you can clean
27:21yourself as much as you accept her as a
27:25mother she would open the back door and
27:28that is the matter I came to know in the
27:31keyhole so I am so happy because she's
27:34the same mother who's here I have come
27:36here many times before today because I
27:39know she's my mother if I can't get to
27:41keep a home I can come here because I
27:43live in this country so anyway when my
27:46brother told me that the president of
27:49the country died I knew something was
27:51going to be bad our lady told us but I
27:54knew I was in good hands too even if I
27:57die that is heaven our lady have told us
27:59but I remember I came outside I made my
28:02parents we were so worried we didn't
28:05know what was going to happen we put on
28:08the radio we found out the new
28:11government have blocked the borders of
28:13the country every activity was shut down
28:16I remember two hours later BBC radio
28:21reported 18 families that were killed 10
28:25children and mum and dad have just been
28:27killed eight children and mum and dad
28:30have just been killed and I remember my
28:32father saying this never happened before
28:35we have a kill her family well that's
28:38why they call it a genocide it was
28:40really premeditated and planned so I
28:44remember by the second day
28:46we had so many people coming home asking
28:49my parents what to do about the
28:51situation tip of my tribe they loved my
28:55parents and my parents loved people and
28:58that's why people were coming here and
29:01we're coming to ask them why device and
29:04remembering my parents I really want to
29:07remind you by the way the great parents
29:09I had I never thought they would go
29:13otherwise and altogether I took them for
29:19granted like we do they will always be
29:22there
29:22my mom was that kind of person who stick
29:26tuck you in the bed when you were 20 a
29:30mother like that you just don't think
29:33she would ever go anywhere she's so much
29:36in control and all of a sudden it was
29:39gone it really taught me a big lesson
29:42people be grateful for people you have
29:46in your life especially those who love
29:49you those who protect you
29:51those who good for you your husband's
29:53your wives your children your parents
29:55your friends they had a gift from God
29:59you don't know how long they will be
30:02there
30:02and today you bring my mom all I want to
30:05tell how much I really loved you I don't
30:08think I said it enough be happy and be
30:11grateful we don't even have a guarantee
30:14no one of us here has a guarantee of
30:16living one more week one more hour
30:19we pretend as if we won't die but this
30:23is really a gift every day to be able to
30:25love one another
30:26forgive one another for joys for one
30:28another anyway those are the kind of
30:30parents I had and I met but one time
30:33this is the second day the genocide have
30:36started my father came to me I was one
30:40girl among three boys they really wanted
30:42to see me safe he came to me hundred my
30:45rosary and asked me to go to hide I
30:49didn't want to go I thought what if I go
30:52something can happen to you but I truly
30:55left our of obedience to my father in
30:59the remember
31:00Fraulein left an image I would never
31:02forget he went in front of people who
31:05were asking them for help and he said
31:08we're allowed and he spoke to everybody
31:10and said if it is a matter of a small
31:14group that want to kill us be strong we
31:18will defeat them and then he said
31:22however if it is the government that
31:25planned this I cannot lie to you they
31:29will kill us and I'm thinking where are
31:32you going with that information he said
31:35however supposed to the government let's
31:39take this as a chance God gave us to
31:43repent our sins so we can go to heaven
31:46I'm thinking I mean when I think about
31:49it my dad was not a doctor who is saying
31:52too bad you have a bad sickness he was
31:55one of the people who are going to die
31:57and he's saying let's take this as a
32:00chance it was the first time I saw some
32:03body really believing and be sure there
32:08is something beyond this and someone
32:11will truly believe that to take this as
32:14a chance the moment repent our sins so
32:16we can go to heaven it really believes
32:19it and he was speaking to people from
32:21different religion because tribes in
32:23Rwanda we're not by religion and he had
32:26the rooster in his hand like this and
32:27everybody started to repent in their
32:30hearts and that's when he came gave me
32:32the rosary and asked me to go to hide
32:34and a friend of his he sent me to go to
32:37hide was from an other tribe the Hutu
32:40tribe and I really need to insist on
32:43this and that was my prayer was when I
32:46was writing my book not everybody in the
32:49other tribe was killing in the Hutu
32:52tribe not even half of them were killing
32:55it was a government that was using the
32:58name to be able to have more voice we
33:01hate you we want to kill you but it was
33:03the government many great hotels were
33:06hiding people like the man who was
33:08hiding me but that was a
33:11time the gorg I have to be quiet and the
33:14bad person have to be the one shouting
33:16so I went to this man
33:18I remember when he saw me he showed me
33:21this tiny room in his house three by
33:24four feet
33:25I remembered but his bathroom and I
33:28remember thinking what am I going to do
33:29here is too small and what am I supposed
33:33to do he said you are a child you don't
33:36know what can happen
33:37you sit here until the troubles goes
33:41away your parents sent you here to me
33:44so I sit there and I'm complaining I
33:46mean three days before that I was a
33:51student in the college three days before
33:53that I had a scholarship I was paid to
33:57go to school three days before that I
34:00had my own room in my parents house and
34:03things can change that quickly if they
34:08really can and that also taught me a big
34:10lesson again be grateful for today you
34:14just don't know about tomorrow so we sat
34:17the young as I'm complaining the mean
34:20the man who was hiding us he went back
34:23in abroad five more women later he
34:26brought two more women so we became
34:29eight in that tiny place three by four
34:31feet the youngest was seven years old
34:34the elder was 55 it was another big
34:38lesson complaining doesn't help when you
34:43think things are bad they can get worse
34:46now I was one I couldn't beat now we are
34:50eight we have two feet because we change
34:52my mind so inside the young he told us
34:55not to speak to one another I said he
34:58won't even tell his children that were
35:00there he said I trust my children but
35:03you never know who can say one thing it
35:06can fall in the hands of a person who is
35:08not good the I thought was really nice
35:11the way he was trying so hard and their
35:13member after few days were still there
35:16food he could afford to give us was the
35:20leftovers with children this is a simple
35:23area this is not he wanted to give us
35:25that but that's what he could afford I
35:28mean in Rwanda special in my village
35:30where I came from is poor we didn't have
35:34fridge
35:34we didn't have electricity where there
35:36is food you can storage and stop so one
35:40plate was just enough in these eight
35:42people and they would close and just
35:45everybody
35:46he lost the key of the bathroom I
35:48remember at the end of the week I had so
35:51much anger impatience every motion why
35:55this is happening
35:56it's not failure can't they see that I
35:59am innocent I love everybody and how can
36:02they do this to me oh so much anger
36:05remember when this man came to give us
36:08food I grabbed his food and I asked him
36:11can you put it radio outside we can hear
36:15what's going on in the country he was
36:18kind he did it I could not believe what
36:22was going on in a country the leaders of
36:25the country who used to be behind the
36:27private radio they were out telling
36:30people go kill everybody of that tribe
36:33they were reporting people who were
36:36killed in churches whom they killed in
36:38stadiums and the worse for us they gave
36:42order to go home by home of people from
36:46that tribe the hooded tribes to see if
36:49anyone is hiding because they knew there
36:52are many people who'll be hiding people
36:53who are just kind we not kill and I was
36:57the worse but also in some ways the best
37:01for me because when I didn't have enough
37:04pain I complained when things get worse
37:07I got closer to God so I never forgot
37:10the day they came to search I was
37:12stretching and I looked through this
37:14tiny window of the bathroom I saw
37:16something I thought was a thousand
37:18people from my village it was not that
37:21many there were three to four hundred
37:23that were the man told us people I went
37:26to school with
37:28I can call friends and men young men
37:31they put banana leaves behind or kind of
37:34arms and machetes long Spears in the
37:37chem inside and started to search
37:39everywhere this was a four-bedroom house
37:44it wasn't like it's a building I can
37:47hide somewhere more hidden I remember
37:50the feeling going through my mind was
37:52it's over they were to kill me they were
37:56to cut me to cut my stomach maybe they
38:00were to cut him into pieces and for what
38:02that is the worst question you can ask
38:05yourself well I remember also feeling
38:08like there was almost like two voices
38:11over my shoulders and one voice is
38:14telling me open the door and the torture
38:18they want to find you and that sounded
38:20like me being reasonable however there
38:23was another nicer voice and something
38:26was telling me do not open the door ask
38:30God to help you remember who God is God
38:34is Almighty
38:35you know what Almighty means it means he
38:38can do anything
38:40you know what anything means it means
38:43even if they find you they might not be
38:46able to touch you if God wants and I
38:48really wanted to put my hope in that
38:50nice voice but all of a sudden the body
38:54voice convinced me there isn't no God
38:56forget about that and however I remember
39:00the nicer voice telling me don't know
39:03lose your faith ask God why sign in a
39:07split of a second
39:09I timed to denies a voice and I remember
39:12asking God with all my heart
39:14if it is somebody who created me even if
39:18somebody will control my breath even
39:20somebody who meant the stars the morning
39:24the Sun I am begging you just give me
39:27one sign tell you what there and if you
39:30give me I promise you I would never lose
39:33faith in you again I might not
39:35understand how you do things
39:37but I would not doubt that you are there
39:40even if I do understand after that I
39:44remember asking God for a specific sign
39:46I said if you can hear me don't let the
39:49killers open the door of the bathroom
39:52you can hide save us in many ways but I
39:56don't want to see their face if it is
39:58you who can hear me who can do it I
40:01fainted I didn't hear nothing until
40:04about five hours later
40:05the man who was hiding asked him open
40:08the door we all jumped we thought was
40:10Achilles and he told us what happened he
40:13said they came inside the house a big
40:16number went around the house like two
40:19hundred number in an animal came inside
40:22the house they went in the ceiling of
40:24the house of flashlights on the roof of
40:27the house to make sure no one is there
40:29under the bed they went in the closet
40:32they even opened suitcases to make sure
40:36that no babe is hiding
40:38at last they came to the door of the
40:41bathroom and before they opened the door
40:43one of them told him he said you know
40:47what you are one of us you can hide this
40:50bad people enemies of the country and he
40:53turn around and left when the mono
41:02when the man told us the shocking part
41:06of my life it wasn't a we are saved the
41:10shocking part was oh my god God is
41:13really he heard me in the bathroom not
41:18him in the church and then I thought I
41:21didn't say wood I only thought my
41:24impatience my words from inside I then
41:27open my mouth is true God I can look
41:30inside well that was good but also in
41:34the mid bath
41:35you mean he can see everything you maybe
41:39we don't have any privacy that what I
41:42thought he knows how angry I am and I'm
41:46asking him to help me but yet I'm angry
41:48I want to hurt people
41:49oh that was a little bit of shame and I
41:52started to speak to God as I'm speaking
41:54to you right now I would tell him well I
41:57know you can hear me but I'm angry and
42:01you know I have a good reason right they
42:03tried to kill us my god is so much
42:06patient than us I said okay okay let's
42:09keep going
42:09I remember asking the man who was hiding
42:12my Bible because I wanted to know who is
42:16that god I almost lost faith in I didn't
42:20have a priest say they have anyone to
42:22ask a question but I thought the Bible
42:24can answer many of my questions I
42:25started to read the Bible who are you
42:28why did you create us I felt like God
42:32was saying because I love you that's why
42:35I created you why parents have children
42:37because they want to love the children
42:40okay but how did we end up here in this
42:43maze I felt like God was speaking back I
42:46gave you Commandments to follow love one
42:51another if that doesn't happen this is
42:55what happened
42:55I really saw the directions of God in
43:00that moment you know when you are adult
43:03who is telling a child don't touch the
43:05stuff is hot it's going to burn you and
43:08then the child was like well it's a nice
43:11color I can touch it what happened
43:14you will get burned I saw the
43:17commandments of God not anymore like or
43:19you have to do that because I say so
43:21God is saying lovingly don't go there
43:24it's going to hurt it's going to be bad
43:28and you will regret it so he's giving us
43:30directions how to be how to live and had
43:33to be in peace and I remember especially
43:36thinking about eternity the ocean of
43:40Hell of heaven I mean of course I want
43:44to think more about heaven but how do
43:45you go there look at people who lived
43:48through this earth we can think they in
43:50heaven how did they live they suffered
43:54especially remember thinking of a drop
43:56in the Bible and I remember after I saw
43:59or that I really want to go to heaven I
44:01mean reading the Bible heaven is a
44:03paradise
44:04it's really good no more pain forever
44:07and ever I wanted to go there
44:10and I remember starting to pray the
44:13rosary as our lady used to tell us pray
44:16your rosary every day every day my
44:18children it is only chance you have to
44:21survive the war the spirit world war we
44:24have here so I said okay now I truly
44:27believe let me say the Rosary I started
44:30to say the Rosary I remember the young
44:33guy had as I said it was like it can
44:36kill me here
44:38I had Quebec him many times to search
44:41for us it could have killed me but a
44:44member when I say the Rosary for 25
44:47minutes it was like I moved from Hell to
44:50a place of air but outside I'm sitting
44:53same place I'm gonna come this feels
44:56good
44:57let me say another rosary I ended up
45:00praying the rosary all day from morning
45:03until night I counted one day how many
45:07rosaries I said every day
45:09I said twenty-seven rosaries every
45:12single day that took me from morning oh
45:15thank you
45:19thank you so much it took me from
45:22morning until the time I can sleep and
45:24then I started to finish 27 rosaries and
45:27I'm not sleeping so I started to add
45:29Divine Mercy chaplet and since they're
45:33short I decided I'm gonna get 240 every
45:37day on the top of 27 rosaries it took me
45:41from 6:00 in the morning until night now
45:44all day I was of Jesus where he was when
45:48he was born I would take time and think
45:50about it
45:51whatever it was wearing how she felt
45:54what it was like asking them a question
45:57my day was literally busy it was really
46:00good day because I was just like with
46:02them but I remember since I knew now
46:06that God looks in the heart and member
46:09going through this part of the Rosary
46:11our Lord's Prayer which is a part of the
46:14Rosary I say that prayer about 200 times
46:18a day any time I went through this part
46:21that said forgive us our trespasses as
46:25we forgive those who trespass against us
46:30oh it was like a red flag really you
46:34mean it then are you condemning yourself
46:37actually by saying forgive me as I
46:40forgive you may need you don't mean it
46:43and you know God is looking in your
46:45heart so you lying to him and yet you
46:48want him to help you oh my god okay but
46:51how do I do it then I don't know how to
46:54forgive someone who's trying to kill you
46:55how do I do it I had an idea something
46:59said you don't have to say that apart
47:02you can skip it then you don't have to
47:07lie to God let me tell you I skipped it
47:10and I felt so much better
47:13I wasn't lying to God anymore I kept
47:16going through that part with us saying
47:19it until one day I was about to skip it
47:22I feel like something is nodding my
47:25shoulder and staring me Hey
47:28I hope you know our Lord's Prayer is not
47:31man-made is Jesus himself who said so
47:36the one you believe his God the one you
47:40believe cannot lie
47:41they won Li believe not the past in the
47:44future not that He wills best to happen
47:46if I were you I wouldn't edit his prayer
47:50but what am i good to do it was the
47:55first time in my life
47:58understood the meaning of surrendering I
48:03went on my knees and I put my hands up I
48:07don't know how to forgive I don't know
48:10how to be here without doing something
48:11praying I need that prayer I don't know
48:15how to lie to you because you look in
48:17the heart
48:18let me give it to you if I'm asking him
48:21to protect my body why can't I trust him
48:25to change my heart and do what he wants
48:27it doesn't mean that I have to know how
48:30to do it I just have to know who to ask
48:32who is Almighty
48:34let me have the humility to ask him help
48:37me
48:37between us I never thought God would
48:40ever find a way to make me forgive
48:42somebody was killing your mother your
48:45father your brothers everybody and was
48:48looking for you but I truly sincerely
48:51put it in the hands of God
48:53if you know how to forgive help me out
48:55in my situation I put back that prayer
48:59as Jesus had it any time I reach there I
49:03wouldn't mind a gleam again please help
49:05me until one day be careful of what you
49:10ask for one day I was meditating on a
49:13fifth storm for a mystery when Jesus was
49:17dying on the cross and I watched him
49:22just in meditation forget about the
49:25movies I wanted to see what it was like
49:27from the pages of the Bible his matter
49:31is there she's watching him literally
49:36tearing up dying I'm still hiding I
49:39still have a chance but
49:41he doesn't have a chance he's about to
49:43die and his mother is watching him with
49:46that I started to feel you know what
49:48okay me my pain is not too much but
49:51yours is really a lot
49:53he had nails in his body tearing his
49:56body paint yourself it hurts
50:00somebody's being pulled with the nails
50:02beaten he must be crying he's like
50:05swimming and I remember asking him why
50:09in my meditation not an apparition I
50:12never had apparitions why did you come
50:15like this you can't have saved us in
50:18another way you could have saved us come
50:20like a rich man you know like the Pope
50:22dressed nice
50:24you could have saved us bad way why did
50:26you go through this I feel like Jesus
50:29was speaking back to me because I loved
50:33you because I cared for you I wanted you
50:38to see if you ever go through anything I
50:42went through if you ever go through any
50:45rejection any betrayer any mistreatment
50:48like close to what I have gone through
50:51remember I was there before you learn
50:55from me did I want to kill people as
50:58you're planning did I even insult
51:00anybody
51:01no suffer with dignity suffer with
51:06goodness you don't have to compete with
51:08evil wanting to be bad in wars learn
51:12from me and I'm watching this direct
51:14that's true he went through it and I
51:17loved him
51:18look how he behaved so good and I
51:20remember his last words I knew before
51:24but this one time it just hit me like
51:27never before
51:29forgive them father they don't know what
51:33they do it wasn't the best part that
51:36hope broke my heart open it was the
51:40second part and I knew it but somehow I
51:43just never understood they don't get it
51:47I felt like Jesus was telling me people
51:51who I tried to kill
51:52you they don't even a major the
51:54consequences will come on them their
51:57children their families the whole
51:58country if I can love themselves how can
52:01they love you brave on them don't be
52:05like those who are lost they are blinded
52:08by hatred and I remember feeling you
52:12know I can see that how can somebody
52:15kill a child thinking that you are doing
52:17something right some way you have to be
52:19blinded by something lack of love then I
52:23remember that moment it was like the
52:27world was divided in two parts a part of
52:31her love and a part of a hate and a part
52:34of love where the people like Mandela
52:37people like Gandhi my dad Teresa the
52:40saint Saint Francis good people like you
52:43and on the side of hate when people like
52:46Hitler and the people I came and I felt
52:49our Lord was saying where do you belong
52:52in a way do you want to belong and guess
52:56what people who are on the side of love
52:58people you admire mother Teresa Gandhi
53:02are people who have suffered who have
53:06known injustice who have known torture
53:10but no matter what happened to them they
53:12will never betray love justice they will
53:17defend truth that we defend peace where
53:20do you want to be do you think they are
53:22weak because they are defending peace
53:24and yet look what happened to them when
53:27I saw that I truly realized okay I
53:31understand I want to stand with Mandela
53:34I want to start with a Gandhi I can say
53:36what it means now and in that moment I
53:39realized the good people who stand up
53:42for love they stomp they spend their
53:45life trying to make the ones who don't
53:48understand why because they believe in
53:52them that they can change your mind and
53:54become loving people they believe that
53:57these are also the children of God I was
54:00once blind
54:01I can see today and if I can deserve
54:04mercy and then a percentage of mercy
54:07when they see the wrong they have done
54:09all of a sudden I can see the killers as
54:13people who are going through this moment
54:15but who are capable to change who are
54:19capable to change I start to pray for
54:22them I saw them as a children of God
54:25- and if a father is losing his child do
54:30you hate that child and I want to keep
54:31them or do you actually love the child
54:34and try to pray for them to please the
54:37father and bring the child in a good
54:40place when I saw that I started to pray
54:43for the killers and truly seeing them as
54:47a children of God who had just misled by
54:49the devil and who have a big risk of
54:53going to hell when I saw that huge
54:57luggage was lifted I've had so much
54:59peace and they changed my body it was
55:02like all the madness I used to think I
55:05would be a soldier
55:06I would throw bombs in the country I
55:08will kill more than a man killing me all
55:10of a sudden the obsession was gone I
55:13started to think about myself I am aware
55:16to come out I'm going to be okay but
55:18what am I going to do those who read my
55:20first book left to tell I started to
55:23learn English was when I was stood in
55:25the bathroom I wasn't even out because I
55:29was so sure if I trust God now without
55:33this shadow of hatred I had inside he
55:36would protect me but I would have to
55:38find a job I started to learn English
55:40when I was in the bathroom I remember
55:43before I came out I had a dream a dream
55:46about our Lord Jesus now I think he was
55:51at peace with me because that anger was
55:54just gone and so people as just like me
55:57who make a mistaken sometimes big ones
55:59but who can change in a dream our Lord
56:03told me my child when you come out
56:07everyone in your family will be killed
56:11but
56:12if you continue to trust me and to love
56:15me he didn't even talk about forgiveness
56:18by his but loving is forgiving
56:20he said if you continue to love me and
56:23to trust me I will be there for you and
56:26I will do more for you than what your
56:29parents could have been able to do for
56:31you in a dream I said yes I said as long
56:35as you can take care of me who do I mean
56:37and when I woke up I said what I said
56:41yes I should have asked him to protect
56:44them and I started to convince myself oh
56:47it's just a dream well it wasn't just a
56:51dream three months later we came out of
56:55that bathroom the war was over I wish I
56:59knew how long it was going to last the
57:01very first night I came out I was in the
57:05refugee camp I said with somebody who
57:08who was outside who can know what
57:10happened and he gave me the news I found
57:14out everybody I left behind was killed I
57:17was hoping they're still hiding my mom
57:21was killed my dad my two brothers my
57:26grandma my grandpa my uncle's my aunts
57:30my best friend's my schoolmates my
57:33neighbors the homes we owned were
57:35destroyed the clothes we had were burned
57:38the only thing I had was a rosary in my
57:41hand
57:42and the clothes I left with three months
57:45before I wanted to die would you do when
57:49you see something like that and any time
57:51I was crying so hard I will feel like
57:54there is almost like a giant hand of God
57:57in my chest accusing me to grieve and
58:00something will tell me don't crush don't
58:04die I am with you pick up your Zrii pray
58:08and remember the journey of your loved
58:12ones is over here not over there but
58:17your journey is
58:18here and you don't know how long it will
58:21be maybe one more day maybe a week maybe
58:2510 years maybe eight years but whatever
58:28that is you don't know how long it will
58:30be but it is up to you how you choose to
58:34use it either to love I that love or to
58:40hate to be kind or to be mean to destroy
58:46or to build forklifting or put down but
58:52if you choose to love I am with you and
58:55whatever you need ask me I will give it
58:59to you and to me that would lead me and
59:02continue to lead me today I know my life
59:05can end today but I will go with what I
59:09have done I hope I can be good influence
59:12to somebody I'm sitting with I hope I
59:15can reach out to someone who's crying
59:16and just ask them how can I help not
59:19ignore them I hope I can see a poor
59:22person and share my meal say what I have
59:25my clothes more than that does not
59:27concern me because I think that is or
59:30what is asking us love one another and
59:33have directions from him love him above
59:36because he's the only one who does not
59:40change who stays when you in the
59:42bathroom or when you are out when you
59:44alone when you are crying when one bed
59:47is only one who is there and to have the
59:51help of a mother Mary knowing that we
59:53have her love affection after the
59:57genocide I saw God in my life and I
59:59moved in the United space 1998 to four
1:00:03years after I went to visit the prison I
1:00:06met somebody who killed my family and my
1:00:08heart was really free I saw him just
1:00:11like one of you who have made a big
1:00:13mistake for himself for his children
1:00:16more importantly and of course for me
1:00:18but what the big lesson here is is that
1:00:22the sins we do including what we have
1:00:25done they hurt as much as the scenes of
1:00:29their prisoner of
1:00:31for me but what you do today what I do
1:00:34with our thinking of the goodness of
1:00:37another person it hurts too so it's not
1:00:40just them is me I have to see that money
1:00:43and look in the mirror god help me not
1:00:46to do this to another person more than
1:00:48even condemning him and then really
1:00:50won't remind you again before I go hold
1:00:54on to a lady to a mother she's such a
1:00:57beautiful mother who is only guiding us
1:00:59for our own good say the Rosary she said
1:01:03it would say everyday in Rwanda she gave
1:01:06us a rosary called Seven Sorrows rosary
1:01:09this morning I woke up I went to the
1:01:11Lake of tears and made those sorrows and
1:01:14have seven Hail Marys
1:01:16again that is one of her ways of getting
1:01:19us to heaven from the back door you know
1:01:22she gives here the rosary for the unborn
1:01:25we have to pray for them not because we
1:01:28think we're giving something good but
1:01:30when we pray for world we protecting our
1:01:33children ourselves even it Wanda those
1:01:37who prayed have prayed for the Peace of
1:01:39the country love would have conquered
1:01:42but we didn't press wrong look what
1:01:45happened to us to this day consequences
1:01:48of the genocide continue to follow our
1:01:51country and everybody
1:01:53anyone who knows when our lady was
1:01:55saying we wished we wish we could have
1:01:58listened we could have loved one another
1:02:00but it's not too late for you you can
1:02:04listen today it is not too late for me
1:02:06me who now think I'm living another life
1:02:09it's not too late for me we can listen
1:02:12today when our lady and our Lord is
1:02:14telling us here and I know I'm speaking
1:02:17to a group of people but I'm also know
1:02:22I'm speaking to in the Liberatore I
1:02:24shared my story as a person and we each
1:02:28one have our own and from my heart to
1:02:32yours I want to remind you no matter
1:02:35what happens to you no matter how bad
1:02:38can be no matter how much you think you
1:02:40don't know what is coming tomorrow
1:02:42hold on to God it is always hope with a
1:02:46God even dying you can die in peace and
1:02:50I want to remind you if I can forgive
1:02:54anyone and forgive thank you so much for
1:02:58having me sharing my story with you
1:03:03thank you very much immaculee thank you
1:03:07so very much please remain standing
1:03:09last immaculate to lead us in a in a
1:03:12short prayer the name of the Father and
1:03:16the Son and the Holy Spirit amen
1:03:19their Godfather would thank you so much
1:03:22for today we thank you that you gave us
1:03:27another day to change our lives you give
1:03:30us another chance to work for heaven
1:03:34that we are celebrating and so we offer
1:03:38ourselves to you we thank you Jesus for
1:03:41your mercy for coming to take on our
1:03:45sins our troubles our pain so you can
1:03:49save us please teach our hearts to be
1:03:53merciful towards one another in our
1:03:56wards in our actions how we look at one
1:04:01another help us to be merciful even to
1:04:04those we think are not right help us to
1:04:08be charitable and to protect each other
1:04:12and be a mother who suffered so much for
1:04:16the love of us we come to you for into
1:04:22arms pulling us open the door for us
1:04:28Sanders you angels change our hardened
1:04:31hearts send light braver us so that we
1:04:38can celebrate today with you and your
1:04:41son for the feast of divine mercy and
1:04:44together we offer you this pray my
1:04:47hey Mary full of grace the Lord is with
1:04:52thee blessed art thou among women and
1:04:55blessed is the fruit I love Jesus Holy
1:04:59Mary Mother of God especially I also ask
1:05:08you please visit the source of bigotry
1:05:12especially those family members of
1:05:15people here and mother with so many who
1:05:19have many requests here many healing we
1:05:22are asking much help God is Almighty
1:05:27near for us defend us speak on our
1:05:31behalf we love you in the name of the
1:05:35Father the Son and the Holy Spirit

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