Life k ye 4 decision khud lo — Transcript

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1. 0:00Giving birth to a child and parenting
2. 0:01are two completely different things.
3. 0:03Let's assume that our parents gave
4. 0:05birth to us. Does that give them the
5. 0:07absolute right to make every decision
6. 0:09in our life? Logically, that is
7. 0:10completely wrong. Love your parents and
8. 0:13care for them, but do not hand over the
9. 0:15reins of your life to them. Because
10. 0:17there are some life decisions that only
11. 0:19we should be making. Your parents will
12. 0:21eventually pass on after some time. But
13. 0:23you will have to bear the side effects
14. 0:25of the life decisions they took,
15. 0:27thinking it was right. So today, in
16. 0:29this video, I will tell you about those
17. 0:31four areas of your life where you
18. 0:33should not involve your parents. Those
19. 0:35are decisions you should take for
20. 0:37yourself. Number one, where you want to
21. 0:39live. Your surroundings and your
22. 0:41environment decide your life. Parents
23. 0:43will tell you, "Oh, don't go anywhere,
24. 0:45don't go far.""Just stay here and do
25. 0:47whatever you want to do right in front
26. 0:48of our eyes." But you have to decide in
27. 0:51which environment your growth lies. If
28. 0:53you need to change your atmosphere for
29. 0:55your growth, then go ahead and do it.
30. 0:58Go to an environment where you can work
31. 1:00with a free mind. Look, the parents '
32. 1:02concern is valid. They are emotionally
33. 1:04connected to you. So they would want
34. 1:05you to be protected and stay safe. To
35. 1:07remain under their watchful eyes. But
36. 1:08after a certain point, every human
37. 1:10being needs their own personal space.
38. 1:11They don't like it when someone comes
39. 1:13and interrupts or stops them early in
40. 1:14the morning. Like coming and telling me
41. 1:16, "Why don't you wake up at 5:00 AM?""
42. 1:18Even though I complete my entire day's
43. 1:19work after waking up at 12:00 PM." If I
44. 1:22sleep late at night, complete all my
45. 1:24work, and go to bed at 2:00 AM, how can
46. 1:25I wake up at 5:00 AM? Yes, if I feel
47. 1:28there is something for which I need to
48. 1:30wake up at 6:00 or 5:00 AM, then I will
49. 1:31wake up. So, things are being imposed
50. 1:33on them there, that you must wake up at
51. 1:355:00 or 4:00 AM. Bro, why should they
52. 1:37wake up just to keep you happy? So,
53. 1:38after a certain time, every person
54. 1:40needs personal space. Travel, change
55. 1:42your location. Work in a place where
56. 1:44you can work with a free mind. Why did
57. 1:46the British rule over us for so many
58. 1:48years? Because they traveled, explored,
59. 1:51and took risks, while we stayed inside
60. 1:53our homes, tucked away. Our farming,
61. 1:55our caste, our house. "We won't leave
62. 1:57this now." We stayed within the same
63. 1:59boundaries, remained limited, and never
64. 2:01even tried to step out of our weak
65. 2:02zones. Otherwise, we were so many, yet
66. 2:05that handful of Britishers ruled over
67. 2:06us and left. Is that possible? Why did
68. 2:09it become possible? Because we are
69. 2:10mentally enslaved. Brother, if you want
70. 2:11to move forward, you have to leave home
71. 2:13. You will have to give up those
72. 2:14parathas with homemade ghee from your
73. 2:15mother. That "come here son, sit down"
74. 2:17pampering from your father. You have to
75. 2:19leave all of this behind. We have to
76. 2:20step out of our comfort zone. You have
77. 2:22to stop driving around aimlessly in
78. 2:24your family's car. Yes, the parents'
79. 2:26concern might be genuine. They are
80. 2:28emotionally attached to you. But don't
81. 2:30give the decision of where you will
82. 2:32live to your parents just to keep them
83. 2:33happy. Now, the second decision is your
84. 2:36career. Which career will you choose in
85. 2:38your life? This decision should be
86. 2:40yours and yours alone. What do our
87. 2:42parents do? They treat us like
88. 2:43Aladdin’s genie. The dreams they
89. 2:45could never fulfill in their own lives,
90. 2:47they impose upon their children, like,
91. 2:48"I didn't become an IAS officer.""My
92. 2:50child will become an IAS officer.""I
93. 2:52couldn't become a doctor.""My child
94. 2:53will become a doctor." Brother, one
95. 2:55thing I don't understand is why these
96. 2:57parents forward their unfulfilled
97. 2:58dreams to their children. Brother, you
98. 3:00also got one life. Your child also got
99. 3:02one life. You were also young once.
100. 3:04What did you achieve in your youth? Why
101. 3:06couldn't you do something? Why couldn't
102. 3:07you become an IAS officer? Why couldn't
103. 3:08you become a doctor? Who was stopping
104. 3:10you? So, the child born in your house
105. 3:12won't remain a child forever. He will
106. 3:13also grow up. His body will also grow.
107. 3:15His thinking will also develop. His way
108. 3:17of thinking will be different from
109. 3:18yours. Because he is a different person
110. 3:19. Even if you gave birth to him. Do not
111. 3:21impose your unfulfilled dreams upon him
112. 3:23. Every person has their own skill that
113. 3:25they are born with. Recognize their
114. 3:27skill and motivate them. They will also
115. 3:29develop an interest in whatever their
116. 3:31skill is. Because it is already inside
117. 3:33them. So, work in that direction. The
118. 3:35problem with parents is that they don't
119. 3:37let the child figure out for themselves
120. 3:39where their interest lies. What they
121. 3:41think mentally. Thinking changes over
122. 3:44time. A child’s interest develops in
123. 3:46different things. And that is where
124. 3:48their interest develops the most, and
125. 3:50that is where they can grow. But the
126. 3:52period to explore and understand
127. 3:54oneself is never even provided. Because
128. 3:56parents impose their unfulfilled dreams
129. 3:58on them, saying this is what you must
130. 4:00do. You have to do this, and then they
131. 4:01put all their effort into something
132. 4:03that wasn't even meant for them. Later,
133. 4:04they get frustrated. So, choose your
134. 4:06own career yourself. Even if it takes
135. 4:09time. Look, a simple thing I am about
136. 4:11to say might sound bitter to you. But
137. 4:12it is the truth. A poor man shouldn't
138. 4:14even have children. But that same poor
139. 4:17man lines them up because he won't be
140. 4:18able to provide a good lifestyle for
141. 4:20his children. His child will just end
142. 4:22up being a laborer. They won't be able
143. 4:23to play any sports. They won't be able
144. 4:25to follow any passion. They won't be
145. 4:26able to fulfill their dreams. They
146. 4:28won't be able to choose their own
147. 4:30career or the work they want to do. So
148. 4:32dear, choose your own career in life.
149. 4:34Because we spend most of our life doing
150. 4:36work. And if you choose the wrong
151. 4:39career for a little money, to meet
152. 4:41someone's expectations, or to fulfill
153. 4:42your father's dream, you will regret it
154. 4:44for a lifetime and become mentally
155. 4:45exhausted. How long will you be able to
156. 4:48live; your body might remain alive, but
157. 4:50you will be dead from the inside.
158. 4:51Because you are stuck having chosen
159. 4:53that work. You are doing work that your
160. 4:54heart is not into at all. Haven't you
161. 4:56seen the state of people in the
162. 4:57corporate world? Because they chose
163. 4:58that work out of compulsion. They don't
164. 5:00want to do it. Yes, they are just doing
165. 5:02it to run the household. What is the
166. 5:03actual lifestyle of 99%of people? It is
167. 5:05just this. They wake up, shower, have
168. 5:07breakfast, run to the office, return
169. 5:08from the office, eat, have sex, and go
170. 5:10to sleep. This same cycle is running in
171. 5:12a routine. What is their life? Dogs
172. 5:14have a better life than this. At least
173. 5:15they can bark at each other. Here, one
174. 5:17has to think before barking, wondering
175. 5:19if the person is higher in rank. In
176. 5:20case they hand me a resignation letter
177. 5:22the next moment, saying, don't come
178. 5:23back from tomorrow. And the third
179. 5:24decision is choosing a life partner.
180. 5:26Look, I have always said that our
181. 5:28society, especially the middle-class
182. 5:29society, has parents and a community
183. 5:31whose favorite job is getting people
184. 5:33married. Like, Mom’s back hurts, get
185. 5:35married; the guy got a 2.5 million
186. 5:37rupee package, get married. I mean,
187. 5:38they just can't seem to look beyond
188. 5:40marriage, and what kind of marriage is
189. 5:41it anyway? Just do it our way; you're
190. 5:42the one who has to live with them, yet
191. 5:44you have to do it their way. And during
192. 5:46the wedding, they’ll look at
193. 5:48everything—financial status, what
194. 5:49kind of work he does, family background
195. 5:51, they'll match horoscopes to see if
196. 5:53Mars is interfering, but they won't
197. 5:55look at the one thing that matters: if
198. 5:57there’s any similarity or
199. 5:59compatibility between the two. Whether
200. 6:01they even suit each other or not.
201. 6:02Whether their thought processes match
202. 6:04or not? And then, according to them,
203. 6:06matches are made in heaven; I mean,
204. 6:07there’s a limit to hypocrisy. God
205. 6:09doesn’t have that much work. Going
206. 6:10around making matches; you people are
207. 6:11the ones who make them. It's our uncles
208. 6:13and aunts who end up making them. So
209. 6:14these parents, the rules they make,
210. 6:16they make them because their so-called
211. 6:18honor is derived from this society.
212. 6:21They want to show society that their
213. 6:23child follows exactly what they say.
214. 6:24Completely docile. Consults us before
215. 6:26doing anything. We’ll even decide the
216. 6:28girl for them. We’ll be the ones to
217. 6:30find a boy for our daughter. Everything
218. 6:32is completely under our control. No
219. 6:33problem, you show me the boy. This
220. 6:35whole drama, rise above it a little,
221. 6:37and if you really must marry, marry
222. 6:39someone you like. In arranged marriages
223. 6:41, the thought processes and opinions of
224. 6:43two people rarely ever match. And the
225. 6:46funny thing is, they don't even realize
226. 6:48it themselves because both are busy
227. 6:49trying to look 'too good' in each
228. 6:51other's eyes, making sacrifices, and
229. 6:52adjusting. But for how long? When the
230. 6:55real faces come out, there’s an
231. 6:57explosion. So it's better to marry
232. 6:59someone whose negative and positive
233. 7:01points you know, the red flags, green
234. 7:03flags, you've seen each other's real
235. 7:05faces, experienced the anger,
236. 7:06resentment, fights, and mood swings,
237. 7:08knowing how they behave at certain
238. 7:10times. How they behave at this time and
239. 7:13knowing that even in such situations, I
240. 7:15can stay with them or endure it.
241. 7:18That’s what I need, and that’s when
242. 7:19a relationship becomes successful. How
243. 7:21can you adjust to someone who has been
244. 7:23forced upon you by someone else? You
245. 7:25won't be able to do it, and if you do,
246. 7:26you'll be crushed while doing it. So
247. 7:29don't marry just any random person for
248. 7:30sex, to show off to society, or to
249. 7:32please your parents. Just look at how
250. 7:3599%of people's faces look after
251. 7:37marriage. Because neither did they
252. 7:38choose a career they actually liked.
253. 7:40Whatever their parents told them, or
254. 7:41whichever way society was heading, like
255. 7:43"that neighbor's son is doing computer
256. 7:44engineering." I did the exact same
257. 7:46thing. Then society did another "noble"
258. 7:48deed by saying, "get them married."
259. 7:49Because marriage is such an important
260. 7:51task. Without it, life is hell. So they
261. 7:53trapped them even further in marriage.
262. 7:56These decisions—the three I've
263. 7:58mentioned so far—can ruin your life.
264. 8:01Don't let anyone else's imposed
265. 8:03decisions become your life. An imposed
266. 8:05decision from someone else, like when
267. 8:06parents force you, saying "you must
268. 8:07marry this person." This can turn your
269. 8:09life into hell. You could suffer
270. 8:11financial and mental losses. You could
271. 8:13become a victim of anxiety and
272. 8:14depression. Your entire personality
273. 8:16could change. You will become
274. 8:17completely cut off from society. So the
275. 8:19decision to marry should be yours and
276. 8:21yours alone—whether you even want to
277. 8:22get married or not. And if you do, who
278. 8:25should you marry? Because your parents
279. 8:27will get you married, but when that
280. 8:29marriage doesn't work out, they will
281. 8:31only teach you how to adjust. They
282. 8:32won't teach you how to get out of the
283. 8:34marriage and start living your life
284. 8:35again. Now, the fourth decision:
285. 8:37whether to have a child or not. This
286. 8:38decision should also be yours and yours
287. 8:40alone. Don't have a child just to
288. 8:42please your parents. See if you even
289. 8:44want to do it or not. Because giving
290. 8:46birth and parenting are two completely
291. 8:48different things. Giving birth to a
292. 8:50child is no big deal. Even animals can
293. 8:52do that. Fill a tub with water and
294. 8:54leave it. After 15 days, you'll see
295. 8:55mosquitoes will be born. Leave two
296. 8:57crazy people in a room. They will also
297. 9:00produce children. Look, the elderly
298. 9:02just want a toy. They don't care about
299. 9:03parenting at all. If you have kids for
300. 9:05their happiness, you're just creating a
301. 9:07burden on the Earth. You'll only be
302. 9:09increasing the Earth's population. The
303. 9:10Earth is already dying as it is. We
304. 9:11have become so overpopulated. Look, a
305. 9:14child is born, but it takes effort to
306. 9:16raise and nurture them. It's not like
307. 9:18an animal's job where you give birth
308. 9:19and it grows up on its own. Because the
309. 9:21child you bring into this world becomes
310. 9:23your responsibility. Teaching them the
311. 9:24right things, because other people live
312. 9:26in this world too. No one else should
313. 9:28be harmed because of them, like
314. 9:29checking if they are harassing a girl.
315. 9:31Are they being rude or disrespectful?
316. 9:33Are they stealing? Are they respecting
317. 9:35everyone or not? This is the most
318. 9:37important part of parenting, which
319. 9:38people don't know how to do. That is
320. 9:40why crimes happen. Their sons roam
321. 9:42around like wild bulls. They harass
322. 9:43girls. So those same children you
323. 9:45brought into the world are becoming
324. 9:46dangerous to society. So, think
325. 9:47carefully before having children. And I
326. 9:49say that the way our population is
327. 9:51increasing. We shouldn't even be having
328. 9:53children now. And if you must have them
329. 9:55, then first become financially free.
330. 9:57Become financially stable. Your bond
331. 9:59with your partner should be strong. You
332. 10:01must have a purpose for what you will
333. 10:03feed into that child's life. Not just
334. 10:05because they will be the support for
335. 10:06your old age.