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Life after Death Row...Nick Yarris sets himself free with Dr. Marissa — Transcript

by Dr. Marissa Pei · 8,824 words · 1,360 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:14an
0:25jump off that exhausting hamster wheel
0:27and into balanced living with dr marissa
0:36permission to be a beneficial presence
0:39on the planet her purpose to be your
0:41personal advocate to live love laughter
0:44her life motto don't die wondering take
0:47back your life with dr marisa on
0:50ubnradio.com
0:53and welcome my name is dr marisa that's
0:58the name i'm using today anyways and
1:00you're listening to my weekly talk radio
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2:50around the world so there you have it
2:53now um
2:55let's see oh i wanted to thank my
2:57assistant producer jarvis essex and my
2:59sound engineers carlos and mia at my nbc
3:02station and my station managers tony and
3:05bill at both my stations
3:08so the whistle goes here
3:10and
3:11so i got some more great news last week
3:13the editor of hearst magazine marie
3:15claire china wants to
3:18do a cover article on me so she said she
3:20read my write up in the world journal
3:23the largest chinese publication in north
3:25america and said i was inspiring two
3:27chinese women so she she
3:29for that nod and this is what happens
3:32when i wake up every morning with an
3:35impending sense of
3:37good so
3:39good out to you all as well today we're
3:41having another radio for our deaf
3:44community that started
3:46almost a year ago with the inspiration
3:48that happened just before the whole
3:50mandela fiasco which was kind of
3:52serendipitous universal timing so i have
3:55today the beautiful
3:57darcy french meyerson so please welcome
4:00she's standing out
4:01we're sitting in
4:02for my regular staff interpreter sharon
4:05with
4:06her blessings thank you so much
4:09on september uh third
4:12in 2003 based on dr blake's results the
4:15course the court vacated
4:18nick yaris's conviction and he became
4:20the
4:21140th person in the united states to be
4:24exonerated by dna testing
4:27that's just the beginning of the story
4:30of one of my most amazing guests that
4:33i've had here please put your hands
4:35together with nick for nick yaris the
4:38author of seven days to live and this
4:40next less than hour is just going to
4:44delve into
4:46an amazing thing called nick yaris life
4:48please welcome
4:53okay so
4:55if i didn't meet you if i had just i
4:58mean i've i've been researching your
5:00life a story i i'm going to give the
5:02highlights i
5:03i don't know how this happens and i'm
5:06going to go in the order that i was
5:07given
5:08so
5:10at seven
5:12you were raped and assaulted
5:15at 21 you were framed for murder at 24
5:20you escaped and were put on the most
5:22wanted list
5:24you spent that ensuing time
5:28in prison
5:30uh and then at 43 you asked for
5:34uh the death by lethal ingestion
5:37injection and then after 21 years
5:41in prison
5:43maximum security
5:45you
5:46were exonerated
5:48by dna testing
5:50for a murder that you did not commit
5:53after 21 years
5:59i'm going to take a breath
6:01take a breath with me
6:04if i didn't see you and if i didn't i
6:07mean it's not something you can make up
6:10it is unbelievable
6:13so the first thing the reason
6:15what attracted me to you and wanting to
6:18bring you on is
6:20that not only are you not bitter
6:23but i was told that you wanted to come
6:26on this show you wanted to share the
6:28your story in your book you wanted to do
6:31this
6:32for the unbelievable reason of helping
6:36one if you could help one teenager
6:40straighten out their life this is why
6:42you're doing what you're doing so i
6:45could probably talk and for the rest of
6:47the show just about what i've read but
6:50i'd not take advantage of you being here
6:52so first of all welcome nick and thank
6:54you so much for taking the time thank
6:55you dr marisa it's very gracious of you
6:58to have me on the show
7:00i learned a lot about uh myself through
7:03the course of my journey
7:05and one of the things that i learned um
7:08and i've i've so glad that you've tapped
7:11into this
7:12the only thing that i can use
7:14to overcome yesterday's positivity
7:18if i got out of prison and i wasted it
7:20in bitterness and anger i was going to
7:22cheat my parents out of every day they
7:24prayed for me
7:26i was going to rob them of being the
7:28emblem this symbolism
7:30the person that they wished for and
7:33prayed for to come home and be something
7:35decent
7:36so i learned in this great way that
7:40what i went through from the early ages
7:42of being assaulted and going through all
7:45the trauma of having a secret that drove
7:48me to become a drug addict that drove me
7:49to become a prisoner and drove me to
7:52become falsely accused of a murder and
7:54all as you said
7:56is that at the end of it i had a choice
7:58still
7:59and we all go through some really dark
8:01things we truly do
8:03but i had a choice left to me
8:05and i decided that when i got free i
8:08wasn't going to waste my time no matter
8:10how much of that i had left because
8:12there were still so many people still
8:14there
8:15and there was so many people who fought
8:17hard for me to come home
8:19so i felt like if i got out and i made a
8:21real good effort maybe then the people
8:24who
8:24still struggle would see that it is
8:27worth it to hang on to the decency
8:29before they get free
8:31it's very hard for a man to go through
8:33what i have
8:34now i i spent 23 years in total in
8:37solitary confinement
8:39of that time i spent 21 of it waiting to
8:42be executed for a crime i didn't commit
8:45and it made me realize that i had one
8:48mission in life
8:50i could try my best
8:52to
8:53erase the thief the drug addict and the
8:55liar that i was as a child
8:57and replace him with someone decent
9:00so that on the day of my execution i
9:03could even demonstrate to those who were
9:05killing me even though it was wrong that
9:08i had made the effort to erase the
9:09person that they hated
9:11and from that effort i got a blessing
9:13because
9:15i didn't know that dna was going to work
9:17i did ask to be executed for a crime i
9:19didn't commit and it's a shame that i
9:20have to carry that but from that
9:22experience it taught me a great deal of
9:24humility
9:26and this has carried me on from today
9:28because when i was released i was set
9:31free with no help from the government no
9:34parole services because i wasn't guilty
9:37no health care no training wow no job
9:39placement no housing
9:41i was a burden on my 70 year old parents
9:43at the time and i went out and had to
9:44find work
9:46i almost didn't make it so i left the
9:48united states and i went to england
9:50in 2004 when i first got out
9:54we got a back up here okay
9:57okay that that i didn't read about so so
10:01you got out of prison
10:03you were falsely accused
10:05you were on death row you're now
10:08exonerated and there's no help i was an
10:10embarrassment to the elected officials
10:12in philadelphia who didn't want to be
10:14seen in public with me
10:16because they made a mistake
10:18yeah well what they didn't want to be
10:20seen with is someone who would be
10:23disadvantaged to their election
10:26i i
10:27as a an exonerated prisoner represented
10:30someone who is undermining the security
10:33of the falsity that we sell to people
10:35that if we execute humans we're going to
10:37keep them safe
10:39so
10:40i i was given no compensation from
10:42pennsylvania i struggled a lot at first
10:45i had to overcome
10:47actually breathing fresh air again
10:50i spent so long in a a a controlled
10:53environment that i was allergic to fresh
10:55air
10:56i was allergic to human emotion
10:59you see out here we all have this luxury
11:01called anger that we indulge in and we
11:03yell at each other and stuff you're not
11:05allowed to do that when there are
11:06serious killers around you you don't run
11:08your mouth because the next time that
11:10door opens someone's going to kill you
11:12so i had to have this very controlled
11:14world around me in which i had to learn
11:16that upon re-entry to this world
11:20the things that are very dangerous to us
11:23are
11:23the indulgence in our our anger
11:26and it spreads it does and if you see
11:28the effect it truly can carry over okay
11:31i'm gonna stop for one second yes ma'am
11:34um can i have your hand sure on behalf
11:37of the american system that i don't
11:39understand i'm really sorry
11:43that you had to
11:44go through what you did on something
11:46based on something that you didn't do
11:49yeah no no take a breath with me take a
11:50breath with me i need you to
11:55i'm sure there's a good reason i just
11:56don't see it right now but i am sorry
11:58because that is i don't want you to be
12:00excited but i'm not i don't feel sorry
12:02for you and i do i'm just sorry that
12:05that is part of our process
12:08because the way i look at it is this
12:12i've made a really good effort to show
12:14that despite the river of things that i
12:17was made to crawl through
12:18that my life has meaning
12:20and purpose just like yours and you
12:23shouldn't feel sorry for me for
12:24yesterday because a lot of it i put
12:26myself there okay i lived wrongly i in
12:30fact during the early stages of this
12:32ordeal put myself in the eye of the
12:34storm
12:35i carry a lot of that burden i willingly
12:38willed myself to pay for all my mistakes
12:40as young person so i can hold my head up
12:43but i don't want someone to miss the
12:44idea that what i'm really am is an
12:47emblem
12:48of our greater injustice overall and
12:50there are like you said i was 140th man
12:53set free we just had a woman set free
12:55here in los angeles from 17 years of
12:57incarceration hand tac lee an asian
13:00american from pennsylvania just got his
13:02case overturned and they're thinking
13:04about retrying this poor old man who is
13:07in his late 70s and it's a terrible
13:10ordeal what happens is when we find out
13:13that there are 86 people last year and
13:15another 70 this year that have been set
13:17free we act like it's not real
13:20and that's the discord with me yeah yeah
13:23and that's the part i'm saying sorry for
13:25okay it's not yeah we're not free yes
13:28you're right i'm not feeling sorry for
13:30you i'm trying not to get ticked off
13:33at a system that isn't sorry how's that
13:36that doesn't act like it's sorry so the
13:39fact that you came out and it was an
13:41embarrassment that's what i'm reacting
13:43to so i'm apologizing on their behalf
13:47so but but let's go back to something
13:49you said thank you
13:50let's go back and tears are good tears
13:52are the disinfectant that keep our
13:54hearts soft i've said that before and
13:56i'll say it again because it's important
13:58to express this is a very appropriate
14:00expression and and and another thing
14:02that i want to commend you on i i read
14:04somewhere that someone uh interviewed
14:06you and you said
14:08i i find it
14:09interesting i don't know if you said it
14:11exactly like that that people expect me
14:14to be completely
14:16nuts after spending
14:1921 years in prison and i'm just
14:22an average guy or i'm just
14:24yeah i think that's the thing everyone
14:28imagines first and foremost i was insane
14:31and they put me in a place for the
14:33insane and tried to execute me
14:35now everyone when i was released
14:37believed i must have gone insane for
14:40being tortured for so long right and my
14:43only effort to show them in eloquence
14:46has been the book i've read i've written
14:48seven days to live yes and also the last
14:5010 years of my life and how i've lived
14:52and i've showed through the only thing
14:54that's kept me going young people listen
14:56to this is the education that i gave
14:58myself
14:59if i didn't give myself a solid
15:01foundation i wouldn't have handled
15:04getting out and being run over by life
15:06all over again
15:07and that's the message that i said again
15:09say that again that was beautiful
15:14an education in prison in which i've
15:16read over 10 000 books and spent years
15:19learning of this world
15:21i would have never handled being run
15:23over by life again and i was and it's
15:25not easy when you get out of prison and
15:27have to rebuild your life at age 42.
15:30but it was the education i gave myself
15:32that allowed me to put separation so i
15:35couldn't feel like a victim so i didn't
15:37wrap myself up in bitterness what was
15:38done to me i actually went out and
15:40changed my life
15:41yes you have you have so you were 21
15:45when you went in you were 42 when you
15:46came out so you spent a lifetime in
15:48prison
15:49right you spent a lifetime and in those
15:5221 years you mentioned things that
15:53happened to you that you kept inside and
15:55you reacted in a way that was not
15:58helpful to you but is very common uh i
16:01have had you know
16:02i had a gentleman named chris here who
16:04was
16:05sexually abused by an episcopalian
16:07priest and he went similar route to
16:09yours went to drugs and alcohol it's uh
16:12it is such a destruction it's a
16:14destruction and i was talking to my
16:16assistant producer on the way and we
16:18have an issue here folks
16:20we can't judge people for drug and
16:22alcohol abuse
16:24or or problems when we don't
16:27fix some of the environmental or do
16:30everything we can we don't like to talk
16:32about sexual abuse we don't like to talk
16:33about abuse but we have to we have to
16:36bring the light to it so that stops
16:38being one of the impetuses for you to
16:41get did you ever ask yourself why does
16:43someone go and drink 11 beers instead of
16:46one
16:46or they take heroin or something they're
16:48obviously obliterating their mind from
16:51an ongoing underlying problem and until
16:54that problem's fixed never going to get
16:56off of drugs and alcohol and this is why
16:57a lot of problems are in our society
16:59where we're trying to treat the abuse
17:03without treating the core problem
17:05and as long as the core problem is like
17:07you said secretive and hidden and never
17:08really dealt with so many people are so
17:11ashamed
17:12what i went through and especially for a
17:14male and i questioned myself i drove
17:16myself crazy over it i destroyed my life
17:18behind it obviously right right but
17:21the
17:22onset of the recovery came at the age of
17:2524 when i sat down and told my parents
17:28after i handed myself an escape from
17:30death row i turned myself back in i had
17:32that edge okay i went back and i told my
17:36parents now i have to tell you why my
17:39life before was so destroyed wow my
17:42parents reaction was so poignant because
17:44they both looked at each other and said
17:46we aren't to blame right we thought we
17:49were bad parents and that's why you did
17:51drugs we thought we were the reason
17:54we wouldn't there enough for you we
17:56didn't and this is what a secret does
17:58right a secret keeps a family from
18:01understanding the dynamics of an issue
18:03that can destroy it and it's whether
18:06it's alcohol or gambling or other acts
18:08we have to recognize these are behaviors
18:10that are someone who's just crying out
18:12or just lost and
18:14the thing is we're all judgmental
18:17i had to learn this and i was judgmental
18:19even in points in prison
18:21and the hard thing is for us is to
18:23accept that we don't have the right to
18:26look at others and judgment it's hard it
18:29is it's so hard it is it's almost part
18:31of being human you see someone and you
18:33automatically have some nasty thoughts
18:36across your mind even whether they were
18:38what they're wearing what they say if
18:40you've just joined us and you're
18:42wondering who i'm talking to today i
18:43have
18:44uh the honor and the privilege of having
18:46the author of seven days to live nick
18:48yaris here with us
18:50in the studio today as well as our
18:52wonderful interpreter who is making this
18:55episode available to our deaf community
18:58and he's talking about his life 21 years
19:01uh
19:02a
19:04a
19:05a walking
19:08um what's the word i'm looking for
19:11uh a a walking expression of being
19:15sexually abused
19:17and assaulted
19:18uh as a 21 year old
19:21no sorry as a seven-year-old sorry as a
19:23seven-year-old and then
19:25drugs and alcohol to bury that memory
19:28and that reality and that pain
19:30and putting himself in a situation
19:32where he got framed for a murder he
19:35didn't commit and then spending 21 the
19:37next 21 years in in prison and on death
19:40row
19:41um i am
19:43just
19:45uh
19:46wondering do you want me to raise this
19:48ah
19:49i'm getting signals this is his book
19:51called seven days to live
19:53and uh i am giving a copy of this away
19:57at the end of the show so you'll you
19:58want to stay tuned um i wanted to ask
20:01you
20:03so
20:04you went to your parents and you told
20:05them you know this is the reason oh i i
20:07know just on a side note
20:09how did you escape
20:12i mean seriously 24. i mean that's like
20:15just just escaping from prison is one of
20:17those
20:18parts of your story i was actually being
20:20transported to a court hearing for the
20:22destruction of evidence from my trial
20:24and was looking forward to going to
20:26court on february 15 1985 the coldest
20:29night of the year
20:31we stopped at a restroom to use the
20:33toilet and when i came out of the toilet
20:36the officer holding a door for me
20:38went in to use it behind me the other
20:40officer who was driving the car had
20:42already drifted back to the car and was
20:44smoking a cigarette
20:46and when he saw me coming out of the
20:48bathroom without his partner he assumed
20:50they overpowered his partner and fired
20:52two shots at me oh i then turned and ran
20:55and they chased me for the next five and
20:56a half hours with over 200 police
20:58officers in a helicopter
21:00but i managed to elude all of them i
21:03drove to new york city in a stolen car
21:05and i went to florida
21:08and after 25 days of being on the fbi's
21:10most wanted list i realized i couldn't
21:12do this to my family
21:14i couldn't live that i couldn't live
21:16through this i couldn't leave them with
21:18it and i had no answer
21:20so i had my father call the fbi office
21:23in philadelphia and talk to an agent
21:25named bud warner
21:27and he identified where i was in florida
21:29and they came and took me back to
21:32pennsylvania
21:34that's unbelievable so you turn yourself
21:37back in
21:38because you
21:40you wanted to do the noble thing no
21:44the reality was if they didn't make me
21:46suffer someone else
21:48that's the reality okay whether it be my
21:50brother who was about 14 months older
21:52than me or my younger brother or my
21:54father my
21:56look you have to understand people
21:57called my mother
21:59the mother of a murderer cornered her in
22:01the supermarket and spit in her face one
22:03day i was accused of a rape kidnapping
22:06and murder of a woman i never met
22:08and i was accused of psychologically
22:11stalking her so i was treated with the
22:14word
22:14deference
22:16this is the worst treatment of my life
22:19if another person stabbed me in prison
22:21or another inmate assaulted me it was
22:24the staff who treated me with deference
22:27that really hurt because they would mock
22:29me because i couldn't speak as i do now
22:32they would mock me and tell me that this
22:34is what they're you know a rapist
22:35murderer deserved in the course of my
22:38treatment
22:39wow so
22:43so
22:44it was punishment being there and then
22:47it was punishment in there yes ma'am i
22:49was the lowest of the low because um
22:52people see me and saw me
22:55as the epitome of a psychologically
22:57deranged human being and for that you
22:59have no rights
23:01so i had to learn to defend myself over
23:04the course of time because people tried
23:06to collect the bounty by stabbing me in
23:08the chest i've had my throat slit i've
23:11had a lot of things done to me
23:13and so i had to learn
23:16for years how to very
23:18artistically or physically
23:20defend myself from the onslaught that
23:23never seemed to end
23:25so
23:26so
23:29how
23:30how could you
23:34stay
23:37centered how how how do you stay other
23:40men needed me hmm i i'm sorry to inform
23:44you but
23:45in my life i've loved other men who have
23:47been murderers i've cared for them
23:50and i've helped them
23:51and i've tried to understand the moment
23:54in their life when they did things
23:56just as i've loved the guards that beat
23:58me and that nonetheless fed me you have
24:00to understand the distinction in life
24:03there are human beings for other reasons
24:05that went to death row like my friend
24:07ernie porter a black guy from philly he
24:09ended up on death row because he picked
24:11up a chair during a bar fight ernie
24:13wasn't a criminal he wasn't a gangster i
24:16loved him i i cared for him
24:18so i went through this thing in my life
24:21where at the age of 20 i landed in hell
24:24and i learned to become a man
24:26i grew up there i helped others i did
24:29the best i could to understand the world
24:31around me hoping that on the day of my
24:33execution i could be elevated
24:36i never expected to be free even though
24:38i was the first man on death row to ask
24:40for dna testing in 1988 and that's the
24:44sick part of it for 15 years they
24:46tortured me why i sought to use science
24:49to prove it
24:50and sadly even some of my lawyers didn't
24:52believe in me so they wouldn't
24:54really try
24:56so i went through a terrible ordeal
24:59where once i was sick with hepatitis c
25:02and i they blinded me in my cell
25:05from the treatments of giving me
25:06interfere on drugs
25:08i decided that was it marissa i had made
25:11myself beautiful in my own eyes so why
25:14let them rob me by taking me into this
25:17miserable downworld spiral that steals
25:20from me the person that i developed from
25:23so i wrote a letter to james giles the
25:25federal court in philadelphia and i
25:27asked to be executed i figured i would
25:29take the notion that i had one last gift
25:33left to me
25:34i could decide to end this on my terms
25:37see i'd paid for all the things i'd done
25:39i'd stood tall and tried hard to be a
25:42good person even in prison and as proof
25:44by the people who still love me who were
25:46my pen pals in france in poland today
25:50they're still good friends of mine
25:51because even when i was in prison i was
25:54the
25:54human being that i hold myself to be now
25:57and i think that's a testament to what
25:59i've tried
26:01i know this one thing
26:03i could think about before i went to
26:05prison how many people i stole from and
26:07wronged and stuff
26:09but since i got out i can't think of one
26:11person i've let down
26:12and that's what i hold proud to my heart
26:15is that i made that effort right you
26:17can't undo yesterday you can only undo
26:20tomorrow
26:22and that's what i'm striving for
26:24beautiful
26:25did you have like an experience inside
26:29like you mentioned 10 000 books
26:31did you read i mean
26:34when did we go from
26:36the liar the thief and the you know that
26:39person
26:40and the i remember okay i was being
26:43escorted to the back from the nurses
26:46station
26:47because i was so angry early on i used
26:49to beat my head against the wall
26:51i figured if i stayed angry and i stayed
26:54hurt i would never get comfortable in
26:56this place you have to understand i was
26:58in a prison where the average rate of
27:00survival was only five years
27:03this officer took pity on me he let me
27:06go into empty cell and get some books
27:09and it was an old dictionary and a ged
27:11booklet and some old books
27:13and i sat in my cell and i started to
27:16educate myself
27:17because i couldn't beat my head out of
27:20the wall i couldn't get out of here no
27:22matter how angry i was and i realized i
27:25only had one hope i have to learn how to
27:28speak because i have an impediment
27:29called aphasia would stop me from
27:31speaking early on as a young person and
27:34you wouldn't believe that the ugly
27:35language i would use to communicate
27:37because i never spoke in this manner i
27:40had to work diligently for years for
27:42this acumen to do so
27:44so i knew the only way i would ever get
27:47out is based on what i taught myself
27:50whatever i learned that was it
27:52so
27:53gratefully
27:54i was glad that like any other drug
27:56addict i became addicted to books okay
27:59first it was louis lamour and elmore
28:02leonard and then it became very complex
28:04works and very deep and meaningful and
28:07when i started to study psychology i've
28:10opened up my mind to the possibility i
28:12could handle all this
28:14wow you opened your mind to the
28:17possibility that you could handle
28:20all of this crap and that's when it
28:23became the greatest experience of my
28:24life
28:25i fell in love with a woman named jackie
28:27shaffer and i was married on on death
28:30row for 10 years oh really i used to
28:32walk around despite people thinking i
28:34was a rapist murderer knowing i was
28:36beautiful in someone's eyes
28:39i learned so much about being a man from
28:41a woman i only held her for one hour in
28:44my life when we got married
28:47in jan in july of 1988 when i became the
28:50first prisoner to ask for dna testing
28:52believing i would go home soon right
28:55right and then over 10 years i watched
28:57as the disappointment eroded away at our
29:00lives
29:01but then i had this wonderful moment
29:03where she came to visit me on the last
29:05day and she said i have an empty life my
29:08mother just died of emphysema and i
29:10don't have anything but a boxes and
29:12boxes of your legal work of my own
29:15what do i do
29:16right i said if you have any sense
29:18you're going to get up get off that
29:20stool and go have a happy life
29:23and that's what she did
29:25and it ended on that beautiful thing
29:27with me writing her a lovely letter
29:28telling her how much i truly loved her
29:31while she was leaving and how many
29:33chances do you get to do that when you
29:35part from another person right right wow
29:38wow wow
29:40so
29:41we have to take a sponsorship break uh
29:44but we will be right back with my
29:47amazing guest nick yaris author of seven
29:50days to live spent 21 years on death row
29:53and we're going to talk about what it's
29:55like now in his life because he has some
29:58amazing parts of his life that he has
30:00yet to share so we'll be back in two and
30:02two
30:04have a sports injury is your posture
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30:09an accident and you're not getting real
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30:31sealbeachpt.com sillbeachpt.com
30:36and welcome back you are tuned in to
30:39take my advice i'm not using it get
30:42balanced with dr marisa every tuesday at
30:44naturallyhigh noon on ubnradio.com
30:48and on thursdays at 7 on kcaa am 10 50
30:52my nbc news radio and we have a nick
30:55yaris author of seven days to live with
30:58us in the studio today this is
31:01i can't wait to read it and i'm going to
31:02read the inscription that he wrote to me
31:05not knowing that i was going to pick
31:06this particular oh you did you put this
31:08one on i only put your name in after you
31:10picked it after i picked it oh my gosh
31:12he he he you know when i sign my books i
31:16rarely have time to you know i try to
31:17put a little something but look at how
31:19much he put in there knowing if this
31:21isn't like serendipity here what he's
31:24written to me it says at times i have
31:26felt as if my life has been like that of
31:30a fabled character
31:31someone who has to travel an incredible
31:34distance
31:35all just to find out who they truly were
31:39and if this was so at least i was
31:40willing to look for the best of who i
31:42believed myself to be at the end of it
31:45all thank you nick oh that's so
31:47beautiful thank you and thank you i
31:50forgot to mention to our fabulous
31:51sponsors of today's show seal beach
31:53physical therapy and all the people in
31:56the office i have to say i couldn't
31:59think of a better sponsor for this
32:00amazing show because they helped when i
32:03had a hip replaced a couple of years ago
32:05so a love and peace shout out to brandon
32:09brian pia lynn
32:11um yasi and thank you so much for for
32:14sponsoring this amazing show i can tell
32:17you as someone with two collapsed discs
32:19in my back how much i love someone doing
32:21the work that they're doing so yes yes
32:25wonderful
32:26so all right so you get out of jail
32:29in 2008 in 2004
32:32and you've been exonerated and
32:35there's no help and you go back to work
32:38and then i read this article you're in
32:40england you you uh you go to england and
32:43you fall in love yeah
32:46it's just strange
32:47a bit more complex than that
32:50initially when i was released i started
32:52a campaign
32:53trying to end the death penalty by
32:55depriving the state of pennsylvania from
32:57foreign investment so i ended up
32:59speaking in her majesty's government in
33:01parliament in england in sweden in italy
33:05and in france
33:07and i started to burn out and if there
33:09are only a few months of being free and
33:11actually learning that i was getting my
33:13health back
33:14i had to stop because i was feeling what
33:17is called survivor's guilt yes and the
33:20survivor's guilt was driving me crazy
33:22because of my friend walter ograd who's
33:24innocent on death row and right now yeah
33:27and a guy named tom lowenstein's just
33:29about to release a book about him
33:31but i was really really hard pressed to
33:34go on being happy with the people i was
33:38dreaming about suffering
33:40i couldn't stop dreaming about my
33:41friends after 20 years you know solo
33:44murphy butter they're all my boys
33:46and i was dreaming about them and i
33:48couldn't get over it so it was driving
33:49me crazy i ended up going to england
33:52i wrote this book seven days to live um
33:55my wife now jessie read this book in
33:582009
34:00when she wasn't your wife right okay and
34:02she contacted me on facebook and we were
34:04going to have a brief romance and i was
34:07leaving the united kingdom in 2009 when
34:09she decided no
34:11this isn't going to go that way i'm in
34:13love and we're going to stay together
34:16so we've been together the last four
34:18years and january of this year i settled
34:21the harper collins lawsuit and we moved
34:24over here because harper canceled this
34:25book
34:26i went through a lot of
34:28negativity with that but like you say
34:31keep going positive
34:32so i just dropped all that i moved here
34:35with jesse we moved to los angeles we
34:37just got married january 16th 10 years
34:39to the day of my freedom wow um i have a
34:43film that is in development from the
34:46first book a nice script we're really
34:48working hard on doing all the positive
34:52doing all the right things and showing
34:54that there's a great message to be used
34:56from this because since coming here in
34:59the last eight months i've had so many
35:01great blessings i gotta say that
35:04i have awakened again to feeling very
35:06proud of being an american
35:09and someone who's been trounced by this
35:11government to come back to that feeling
35:13only comes from recognizing it'll never
35:16be the government it's always going to
35:17be someone like you marissa and the rest
35:20of the people i bond with
35:22and that's the difference about feeling
35:23american
35:25and you learn don't you
35:27yes yes and and uh
35:31what a blessing that you can i mean the
35:33fact that you're
35:35not
35:37so blindingly bitter i mean when i first
35:41read all the things i thought oh gosh
35:43you're going to be pissed
35:45i i mean you should be pissed i mean you
35:48have every reason to be pissed no you
35:49you
35:50the opposite if that much has been done
35:53to you if you haven't learned how not to
35:55be angry you're the biggest fool in the
35:56world i i look at it this way
35:59i only have this one chance from age 53
36:02where i am at now
36:04and so the rest of my life
36:06do i want to squander it to the people
36:08who have made it negative and hurtful
36:10for me or do i want to take this chance
36:12and be truly in love like i've worked so
36:15hard to write this amazing love story
36:17for myself and my wife now i've have
36:20some great friends who've come here and
36:22helped me in los angeles area i have a
36:25job working for the deaf penalty focus
36:27group i have all these opportunities
36:29because exactly what you said yeah i
36:32didn't fall prey to the stupidity of
36:35being angry nobody listening are you
36:38listening if you're still angry at
36:40something that was done wrong to you
36:44okay feel good and angry and then get
36:46over it because you're losing the rest
36:49of your life
36:51to fully express
36:53the beauty and the talent and the gift
36:56and the inspiration the creativity
36:59he
37:00has every reason not
37:03to want to help anyone
37:06but the joy that i can feel from him now
37:09and knowing what he is doing he's taken
37:12it you know i i tell people all the time
37:14i am not trying to get you to drink the
37:16kool-aid i know it
37:17sounds like i am but i'm really not but
37:20i do want you to drink lemonade i want
37:22you to sip on the beautiful taste and
37:26the the the amazing
37:28you know the aroma that comes from
37:30taking tragedy i mean you've had so many
37:33tragedies taking that tragedy and and
37:36making it such a beautiful gift of the
37:40present
37:41so that people can
37:43have hope people can see things no
37:47matter how horrific things can get no
37:50matter how dark things are
37:52there is a light and that light is so
37:54much greater and in that joy of taking
37:58something that dark and transforming it
38:00into helping
38:02there's no greater joy there is no way
38:05there's two parts to it i watched over a
38:07hundred men get out before me and i saw
38:09that a lot of them lacked the
38:11articulation to speak for us
38:13so i strive for that yeah the second
38:15part is
38:17i i recognize that
38:20there are genuine reasons why we have
38:23discord in our lives genuine reasons why
38:25we're upset
38:27but i've learned this really cool trick
38:29i catch myself getting angry like we all
38:31do yeah yeah then i ask myself what do
38:34you want
38:34right there i stop i say say what do you
38:36want do you want this fool to ruin the
38:38rest of your day do you want this
38:40situation to own you do you want to be a
38:43stupid person and i start i really i
38:45know it's hard but i'll catch myself and
38:48i'll actually go what do you want
38:50i'll put my hand in front of my mouth
38:53and i will literally ask myself as if i
38:55was a stranger what do you want because
38:57if you can answer that question about
38:58your ego being indulged you'll get out
39:01of it
39:02because that's how i get away from
39:04getting frustrated by being upset that
39:06this didn't work and this didn't work
39:07because i'll say to myself what do you
39:09want
39:11that's a great tool it is because i've
39:13just given myself that one moment to
39:14stop being an idiot long enough to and
39:17i'm sorry but
39:18all right listen there are two truths if
39:21your heart rate gets up over 180 beats
39:23per second a minute you're going to
39:26break down on your logic
39:28oh yes your logic i think
39:30this is what happens when you're angry
39:32your blood rate gets you you lose
39:34yeah and you go down so if you can stop
39:37yourself right at that point and just
39:39ask what do you want you might just
39:41spare yourself a whole 18 to 20 hours of
39:44just fuming yeah yeah i know yeah yeah i
39:47love that saying you know when you're uh
39:51when you're resentful when you're in
39:52that hostility it's as if you're you're
39:55drinking poison and you're expecting the
39:57other person to die yeah that's a great
39:58line i like this other one i've never
40:01seen anybody cry
40:03for your anger
40:06that's good too they don't react in
40:07crying they actually smile at it right
40:09right right seeing your angry doesn't
40:11make another person cry yeah that's
40:14right yeah
40:15they enjoy it that schadenfreude comes
40:17through and they actually get that smile
40:19of glee knowing that they've inflicted
40:21that pain right right i've also got that
40:24uh i hate looking at you so much that
40:26i'm going to gouge out my own eye so i
40:28don't have to look at you yeah that's a
40:29great one yeah well
40:31the best one that i found out too is
40:33that
40:34since i've made this effort to be the
40:37person that i am
40:38i've trounced my enemies
40:40yeah everybody that had their foot on my
40:42neck or has done me wrong is now dying
40:45in their shoes watching me have a
40:47beautiful wife a beautiful life and good
40:49friends yeah i'm not broken and angry as
40:52they wished right that is my greatest
40:54retort to what was done so so do you
40:56believe in god
40:57yeah i am a spiritual person but i don't
40:59believe that organized religion belongs
41:01to any one group here here i think that
41:03the spirituality that we share is
41:05evidenced in the good
41:07i've watched large groups of people come
41:10together and in this beautiful moment
41:13something uniquely
41:15energetic and perfect happens
41:18you can't create that on your own and it
41:20is something only is connected by god's
41:22love
41:23so
41:24if you're a muslim if you're a hindu if
41:26you're a buddhist whatever your religion
41:28i respect you for wanting to be
41:30spiritual but remember spirituality is
41:32something that you give in kindness not
41:35an ego
41:37you want nothing back right right right
41:40i love that saying too that uh religion
41:42is for people who want to avoid going to
41:44hell and spirituality is for those of us
41:47who've already been there
41:53yes powerful i only wear one symbol in
41:55my life
41:57and it's a native american emblem
42:00which is two arrowheads upside down on
42:02my neck and it is a symbol of fidelity
42:04to the father and the inscription reads
42:07though the father may great cut a great
42:09swath in life you as the loyal son must
42:12follow
42:13fair enough to me
42:14did you get that inside no i got this at
42:17the sundance film festival my film i was
42:20in called after innocence was out there
42:22and by the way anybody wishing to order
42:24an autographed copy of the book can get
42:26it on nickjayaris.net
42:27and or find me on facebook and reach out
42:30and i hope that you can understand that
42:32the reason dr marissa invited me today
42:34again is that we're trying to get
42:36through to young people that there are
42:38two things that you need to take
42:39seriously if you have a disruption in
42:41your life from someone harming you speak
42:43up do not keep that secret it'll destroy
42:46you secondly if you have any desire or
42:49dreams to fulfill in your life
42:51the foundation of that is your education
42:53you can have all the money in the world
42:55but if you're not smart enough to own it
42:57you'll lose it if you can have talent
42:59that's one thing but you have to have an
43:01education that fortifies that and brings
43:03you to the next level
43:05beautiful beautiful
43:07nickyards.net correct dot
43:10net
43:18net and then seven days to live you can
43:20get this on amazon yes ma'am amazon
43:22kindle on amazon yes and i'm going to
43:24give a copy away and yes i already
43:27signed it he already said it read it
43:28read the inscription if i ever forget
43:31anything i saw or lived through while
43:33inside i will have to go back
43:36i won't ever forget and i will have no
43:38need to go back for it with all the best
43:43my website the number four balance dot
43:46org first person to sign the gift guest
43:48book that says freedom will get this
43:50book
43:52yes
43:53innocence project tell me about that uh
43:55barry scheck and peter neufeld developed
43:57the cardusa school of law's innocent
44:00project many years ago and now we have
44:02an innocent network from all the work
44:04being done
44:05from each book's proceed i plan on
44:07donating a portion of the sales to the
44:10organization to help fortify them in the
44:12future because this work won't be ever
44:15ending as long as we have 2 million
44:16people incarcerated 2 million for the
44:19last 20 years yes
44:21shocking yes
44:23um did you i mean some of the things
44:25that we're just learning a a judge in
44:27pennsylvania just got 28 years himself
44:30sentenced to for sending 5 000 children
44:33to prison
44:35for a juvenile uh
44:37facility so he could get a million
44:39dollars in payments from a private
44:40prison company
44:42we know now that states that have the
44:44death penalty have the highest rates of
44:46corruption because we don't care about
44:48humans that's why mississippi is so
44:50corrupt that's why pennsylvania is
44:51corrupt that's why texas is corrupt
44:53because they don't care at the end of
44:55the day you're sending the message that
44:57where is the large group of people that
44:59we have that we can just terminate
45:01and from there if you're willing to just
45:03terminate people what do you care about
45:04stealing
45:06that's why the governor of virginia is
45:07on his way to prison and the governor of
45:09texas it's just like we're in denial of
45:12the fact that if you act as if
45:14death is the resolution then that
45:17message goes down the line to children
45:19and they don't care that's why houston
45:21texas has the highest murder rate in
45:23america they execute people there so
45:26it's just joining the murderers parade
45:28when we wake up to one fact there is no
45:31justice without life
45:33then we'll have a better system
45:37thank you yes yeah
45:38yeah well i do know that it is an
45:40industry that i would like to see not do
45:43so well the prison industry definitely
45:46it's not whatever we're doing
45:48it's not working it's time for us to
45:50join and make a difference and certainly
45:53nick is a very uh talented and worked
45:57very hard to get talented uh subject
46:00matter expert in the area so nick
46:02j
46:03yaris.net to support him join him on
46:06facebook it's my new friend thank you so
46:09much thank you so much for coming here
46:11and sharing with us we almost didn't
46:13make it but it all worked out at the end
46:15it all worked out
46:16i like marissa's theater theory on life
46:18don't worry kids if it's meant to be
46:21it's meant to be
46:22don't panic she's going to get it sorted
46:24out because dr marisa has it down she
46:27wakes up every day knowing she's got it
46:29down
46:31i have faith in in the most powerful
46:34energy my ups man so
46:40he delivers every morning when i pray
46:42and meditate so um
46:44last last any any love shout out any
46:47message of love that you'd like to give
46:49to anybody watching i would like to tell
46:51um
46:52if you if it matters to anyone
46:55i learned this much
46:57i'm willing to love
46:59i'm willing to work for love and i'm
47:01willing to give love
47:03if i can find
47:05the worthiness of that
47:07and i found the worthiness of that and
47:09my efforts so i'm going to keep going
47:12and i i don't need to praise my wife
47:14from my love affair and thing i think
47:16that's unfair for people i can just say
47:18this much
47:19um sisters i am doing my utmost to treat
47:22one of your own with the most respect
47:25and love that i can as a man the way
47:27that my mother told me i should
47:29beautiful and what's your wife's name
47:31jessica jessica luisieris hi jessica
47:35love to you thanks for sharing nick
47:36today on the air thank you for being
47:38persistent in in knowing that
47:40you wanted to accompany him on this next
47:43journey in this next chapter of his life
47:47ah
47:48take a deep breath with me definitely
47:51yeah
47:53we now share that breath we all share
47:55this breath we all share the inspiration
47:57of nick's story if you are out there
47:59like he said and you have had wrong done
48:01to you please don't be silent please
48:03don't go try to bury it in drugs and
48:05alcohol
48:06please reach out
48:07please
48:09know that you are wrapped in a warm
48:10blanket of worthiness please know that
48:13you're loving loved and lovable no
48:15matter what and that you have a gift to
48:18offer the planet and all seven billion
48:20of us here and that we all are on this
48:23planet to leave it a little better than
48:25when we found it
48:26i'm gonna end well with an appreciation
48:34i do have a few
48:36balance bar announcements
48:40that's when i asked you to join me step
48:42up to my balance bar and find out what's
48:44going on you get a served a menu of what
48:47i'm speaking and my asian oprah giveaway
48:50we already did which was nick's book
48:53also i have a free dvd of one of my past
48:56guests children of war
48:58award-winning documentary by brian
49:00single about the child soldiers of coney
49:05if you haven't watched that episode
49:06please go to youtube and get that and if
49:08you missed my daughters and i on cbs
49:11last weekend you can see the preview
49:12still on
49:14everydayhealth.com where you see me
49:16cooking my ancient chinese secret not so
49:18secret anymore a jewel fried rice is an
49:21emmy nominated show called recipe rehab
49:24and if you uh contact them and ask for
49:26the replay
49:27as many people that ask the more people
49:29that ask they they will be replaying
49:31that show and for round 40 of the 21 day
49:35fast from complaining with dr marissa my
49:37good life exercise that i run daily
49:40online is it's day 14 today and the
49:43balance tip for the day is step away
49:47from the device
49:48also known as don't poke the animal
49:52so if things are difficult in your day
49:54if you can't get a hold of someone if
49:56something goes wrong don't push
49:59instead take that deep breath of
50:01acceptance do that balanced tai chi form
50:03of
50:04offering up resistance and then you will
50:07find that peace again you won't complain
50:09and you won't lose your place on the 21
50:11day fast from complaining with dr
50:13marissa
50:14and
50:15um finally we have an amazing lineup of
50:18guests for the rest of the year so if
50:19you'd like to sponsor like seal beach
50:21physical therapy did today and be linked
50:24forever by podcast to extraordinary
50:27guests like nick we have paul cardoll
50:30who was supposed to die a few times
50:32because of a heart defect instead offers
50:35up the most amazing beautiful
50:37inspirational music
50:39as a as a pianist and songwriter
50:42fred who's coming on next week who was
50:45had his arms cut off by the rwandan
50:48regime and instead of going to beg which
50:51he could have done for the rest of his
50:52life instead uses his experiences to now
50:57educate and try to have all of us help
51:00across the planet to stop things that
51:03are harmful and in the darkness
51:06i have another uh fascinating guest
51:08coming on marianne from gilligan's
51:10island so if you'd like to sponsor her
51:12show again all proceeds from this show
51:15and any of my balanced products go
51:17towards furthering peace work around the
51:19planet
51:20that's it for this week next week and i
51:23mentioned frederick uh he's going to be
51:25coming to speak about peace in rwanda
51:30so please do join me next week on take
51:32my advice i'm not using it get balance
51:35with dr marissa pay that's p for
51:37positive e i and remember
51:40it is all about balance
51:43peace in
51:44and peace out
52:10your touch keeps making me want you
52:15so soft and yet so disturbing
52:20the emotion it brings
52:23my heart starts to sing
52:26a new melody
52:38as much as i do
52:42but when you look into my eyes i see no
52:46disguise when you
52:50touch me
52:55i need your
52:56touch it makes me want to live i want to
53:02touch you have so much to give
53:06see me
53:09i'm flying
53:12so high
53:17with your touch
53:40i never knew i
53:42could ever feel this way it's like all
53:46of my dreams have suddenly come true
53:50and when you take me in your arms i'm
53:54safe from my
54:06it makes me want to live i want you to
54:10touch you have so much to give
54:14see me

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