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Left for Dead on Everest · Beck Weathers — Transcript

by David Snow · 8,992 words · 1,376 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00All right. Shall we begin?
0:03On the 10th of May,
0:071996,
0:10high in the death zone on Everest in a
0:13terrible storm. Some nine individuals
0:16going to perish.
0:18The following day, one of those
0:20individuals was quite literally granted
0:23a second chance at life, and that
0:26individual was myself.
0:28And this is the story of those people
0:32and those few days.
0:34It takes about a week to get there as
0:37you walk in is part of that
0:38climatization process. And as you do so,
0:41every once in a while, you're going to
0:42come around a turn in the trail. And
0:44there off in the distance is this
0:46enormous giant. And it thrusts it sum it
0:49up, dwarfing everything that that
0:51surrounds it. And blowing off the
0:52downstream side for a mile or a mile and
0:55a half is a plume of snow and ice that
0:58reminds you that this mountain summoned
1:00at 29,000 now 35 ft exists at an
1:03altitude that jet airliners normally
1:05fly. And that for almost all the year
1:09the jetream with its winds of 150 200
1:12miles an hour is going to sit squarely
1:15down on the hill and one time in the
1:19spring and one time in the fall they're
1:23just going to briefly lift off provide
1:25you a window of opportunity so you can
1:27tag it then try to get back down alive.
1:31Ironically though, by the time that you
1:33get to Everest base at 17,600 ft, you
1:38cannot see the mountain at all. It is
1:41completely hidden from your view. And
1:43kind of a climber shang where it lies
1:45before you, beginning right at the edge
1:47of the camp and going almost straight up
1:49for 2,000 ft. The great Kumbu icefall
1:52there to meet a precipice edge where
1:54hidden from your view gradually slopes
1:56away, rising another 2,000 ft. The
1:59valley of the western Kuma will then be
2:01embraced by an amphitheater, a
2:03horseshoe. These big 8,000 meter
2:05mountains with Everest on the left,
2:07Lotsy in the middle, Noopsy on the
2:09right. And rising to the upper reaches
2:12is a 4,000 ft blue ice wall. And all of
2:16the snow and all of the ice that
2:18descends there upon is going to flow as
2:23a river down that valley till it hits
2:25that precipice edge there to tumble the
2:282,000 ft to the glacier below. And the
2:31ice fall is made of blocks of ice the
2:33size of multi-story buildings separated
2:35by creasses, some so vast you cannot see
2:38the bottom.
2:40And the whole thing moves 3 to four feet
2:42a day. Now, that is a point of some
2:46concern to you.
2:48You're going to be standing inside for
2:50about 20 hours of climbing and every
2:52once in a while, one of these blocks or
2:55syracks
3:02is just going to lean over. And as it
3:04does so, it's thousands of tons of
3:07weight will just crash down that hill,
3:10instantly crushing anything beneath it.
3:13In fact, we were all too tragically
3:15reminded of in the spring of 2014 with
3:17the death of 16 Sherpa in the upper ice
3:20fall. If we were to take anyone from
3:24this room today, including myself, and
3:26were to instantly, magically transport
3:30you to that summit, you would have to
3:32deal with the medical fact that in the
3:34first few moments that you were there,
3:37you'd be unconscious. In the next few
3:40moments that you were there, you'd be
3:42dead. Your body simply will not
3:44withstand the enormous physiologic shock
3:47of being suddenly placed into such an
3:49oxygen-deprived environment. But you can
3:51do as we have done over the preceding
3:54weeks by starting all the way down and
3:56climbing up and all the way back down
3:58and up higher and back down each time
4:00pushing that envelope. You basically say
4:03to your body, I am gonna climb this
4:06thing and I'm taking you with me.
4:11So, get ready. By way of introduction,
4:15two groups are going to meet on that
4:17faithful day. Ours is headed by Rob
4:19Hall, who is a tall, gentle, humorous,
4:23enormously experienced climber out of
4:24New Zealand. He's backed up by Mike
4:26Groom, an Australian, and by young Andy
4:29Harris, who's going to be climbing and
4:31guiding for the first time on one of
4:32these big 8,000 meter mountains. If you
4:35were to go into any of these high
4:37altitude camps, you would rapidly
4:39discover that this is not a beautiful
4:41body sport. In fact, we pretty much look
4:43like a bunch of homeless trying to find
4:45a subway. But Andy is the antithesis of
4:48that because he's a big, handsome,
4:51athletic kid who looks like he could
4:53play pro quarterback for any team in the
4:54NFL. So, he's going to be our photo
4:57opportunity. And once you get past the
5:00level of the pro, the certified mountain
5:03monster, you get down to the level of
5:05the grunt. That's where I exist. As does
5:08John Crack. Think y'all know that John's
5:11written a pretty good book, Into Thin
5:13Air, chronicling this story through his
5:14eyes and voice. Actually, my wife Peach
5:18and I wrote our own book. Uh, writing it
5:22wasn't all that hard, but when it came
5:24to naming it, I was seriously bereft in
5:26the idea department.
5:29It had not entirely escaped my attention
5:31that when John released into thin air,
5:33he seriously shifted his tax bracket.
5:37So, I thought I'd fall back on my
5:40college skills. That is plagiarism.
5:44And I was going to steal some of John's
5:46thunder. And so, about twopoint type on
5:49the bottom of the book, they'd say,
5:50"This book was written by Beckweathers,
5:54who's a friend of John Ker."
5:59By the time you got home and realized
6:00you've been had, you'd be too
6:02embarrassed to bring it back. John's
6:04first book was Into the Wild. He
6:06followed that up with Into the Thin Air.
6:08So, we decided we'd call ours Into the
6:11ICU with the emphasis on that icy part.
6:15Also in our group, we have Yasco Namba.
6:18She is a 47year-old Japanese female
6:21climber who on this outing will come the
6:22oldest woman to summit Everest, the
6:24second Japanese woman to do so, and the
6:26first Japanese woman to complete that
6:29seven summits quest.
6:32For this, she will pay
6:35an enormous price.
6:37As will Doug Hansen, 46 year old postal
6:41worker from Seattle. And rounding up our
6:43cast of characters, the baby of our
6:45group, Steuart Hutcherson. He's 35.
6:47Canadian cardiologist.
6:49We get pretty old pretty fast after
6:51that. John's next. He's 42. Then we're
6:5346, 47, 49, 53, 53, 56.
6:59This crowd is old enough to apply for
7:00the AP discount.
7:03I don't think I ever got a check back,
7:05but I can go out the mailbox
7:06occasionally and look, you don't know.
7:08The other team is headed by Scott
7:10Fischer. Now, Scott is a charismatic,
7:13ponytailed, Hollywood kind of guy, and
7:16he runs a group called Mountain Madness,
7:18which pretty much sums up Scott's idea
7:21of how you climb. and he's backed up
7:23with Neil Midleman who's not normally a
7:25guide but is an aerospace engineer as
7:27well as by Anatoli Nicovich Buchar
7:32a Russian one of the world's premier
7:35high altitude climbers and a physical
7:38force
7:40in their grunt section we have Sandy
7:42Hill Pitman now Sandy is a New York
7:45socialite and she goes to Everest that
7:48year seeking fame and achieving
7:50notoriety
7:52There is a difference. You got to be
7:54careful that which you seek cuz you may
7:57get it. Tim Madson, climber and
7:59boyfriend of one of my favorite people,
8:01Charlotte Fox. Now, Charlotte is a big,
8:05strong, raw, bone strapping, handsome
8:07gal who gives a lie to the idea that
8:10high altitude mountaineering is strictly
8:12a maledominated, adrenaline-driven macho
8:15sport.
8:16I generally say at this point that
8:18Charlotte could easily clean this room
8:20in a fair bar fight.
8:23But in deference to the august nature of
8:26this group,
8:28she could easily clean this room in a
8:29fair wine and cheese fight.
8:33We're going to begin our story on the
8:359th of May. We're halfway up that 4,000
8:37ft wall at 24,000 ft. And because there
8:40is no place which is flat upon which you
8:42can place a tent, you take an axe and
8:44you carve out a platform big enough to
8:46put the tent upon it so you can rest
8:48that night. Remembering a couple of
8:50fairly simple rules. One of which is you
8:52don't sleepwalk. And the other is that
8:53when you get up, the very first thing
8:55you got to do without fail is to put the
8:5812 knives back on each foot. The
9:01krampons that they're going to stick you
9:04to this hill. Failure to do so can be
9:08somewhat catastrophic.
9:10As one of the Taiwanese fellows is going
9:12to get to learn that morning, he gets
9:13out of his tent in his inner boots,
9:16takes two steps to relieve himself, then
9:18goes
9:21down that hill and took a creasse
9:24leading to his death.
9:26Fortunately, we didn't know it, so it
9:30didn't affect our spirits.
9:32Our plan that day was pretty simple.
9:36We're going to get up with the sun,
9:37start climbing, climb all day to get to
9:40the high camp late that afternoon, rest
9:42three or four hours, get back up, start
9:44climbing again, climb all through the
9:46night, through the next day to hit the
9:48summit by noon, but absolutely no later
9:52than two. And this is a point which has
9:54been drilled into you. Absolutely no
9:56later than two.
9:59Because if you're not moving fast enough
10:01to get there by two, you are not moving
10:04fast enough to get back down before
10:06darkness traps you on the mountain. And
10:09as you begin to ascend into the death
10:12zone, that part of the mountain above
10:1425,000 ft, the stresses on your body are
10:18incredible. You're burning 12,000
10:21calories a day. This means you're going
10:22to drop three pounds of solid body
10:24weight every day that you're up there in
10:26water weight or Jenny Craig. I lost 30
10:28lbs in the last couple of weeks. That's
10:30not considered to be excessive. The
10:32thought of food is completely repugnant
10:35to you. And if you're able to force
10:37yourself to put food in your mouth, chew
10:39it, and swallow it, your body will not
10:41digest it. The work of breathing is so
10:44great, you blow off up to six liters of
10:46water a day through respiration alone.
10:47And the effort it takes to melt ice back
10:49down into water at low barometric
10:51pressures is such that you never catch
10:53up. And you are constantly dehydrated.
10:55You no longer can sleep. The air hunger,
10:58the gasping, the drive to breathe is so
11:01great. You can rest, but you can never
11:04sleep.
11:06We get to the high camp late that
11:08afternoon. It's extremely cold. The wind
11:11is blowing very hard
11:14and at some visceral level, I'm grateful
11:19because I know we can't climb in these
11:21conditions and I am hammered.
11:24And I think to myself, if I can just
11:26rest tonight, I am bound to feel better
11:29tomorrow than I feel right now.
11:31Intellectually,
11:33I know this is completely false because
11:35the whole point of the moment is to
11:38arrive here with just enough left to hit
11:41it, then get out of this place. Every
11:43second that you are up there, your body
11:46is literally dying beneath you.
11:49High camp on Everest exists at 26,000 ft
11:54in a saddle or a call that lies between
11:57Everest and Lotsy. It's the south call,
12:00same route that Hillary took in 53. And
12:03of course, the mountain hadn't changed
12:06at all. And because of the shape of this
12:09narrow area, those jetream winds that
12:12normally exist are compressed as they
12:15funnel through here. And it leaves a
12:17boilerplate of rock and ice.
12:20And the only thing that exists year to
12:22year are the discarded canisters of
12:25oxygen
12:28and the scattered bodies of the climbers
12:31who preceded you. Makes it pretty easy
12:34though to give directions. Go up that
12:36third body on the left, shoot a right,
12:38and go over. You're not have to get
12:40lost. We lie down in the tents
12:44and mother nature being the perverse gal
12:47that she is and about three hours caused
12:50those winds to completely cease. And Rob
12:54sticks his head in the tent says, "Guys,
12:56saddle up, we're going for it." And I
12:59start to get my little things together
13:01and I think, "Well, maybe I have time
13:03this." Okay. Yeah, I feel pretty crummy,
13:07but I feel better than I thought I was
13:09going to feel.
13:11But I am concerned and it turns out
13:14prophetically so were two members of our
13:17group. And the sleeping bag to my
13:19immediate left is Doug. He looks like
13:22somebody's taken that axe and just
13:24worked him over. He's been sick. He's
13:27not been climbing well. And even more so
13:30than the rest of us, he's not been
13:31feeding and watering and resting the
13:34machine that has to carry you up there.
13:37Doug had climbed this same hill the year
13:39before with Rob
13:41and he got within 300 vertical feet of
13:44that summit and he had to be turned
13:46around and he came back this year vowing
13:49that no one is going to turn him around
13:52again.
13:54Going to any summit is optional. Getting
13:57back down is mandatory.
14:00And one of the things you got to know
14:02really as a moral obligation to those
14:05with whom you climb is with this
14:11step,
14:13how much do I have left,
14:18with this step,
14:20can I still turn and get back down to
14:22safety?
14:25I didn't think Doug knew it. And
14:27frankly, I didn't think he cared.
14:30The other individual for whom I was
14:32concerned was Yasco. She is an itty
14:36bitty waif of a person. She cannot weigh
14:38more than 90 pounds dripping wet. And
14:40even though she is an individual of
14:42enormous drive, the gear that you carry
14:46up there weighs exactly the same.
14:48Whether you weigh that 90 lb, you weigh
14:50200 lb. And I just didn't think that
14:51little tiny body of hers had the horses,
14:54the cash, the checks her mind was
14:56writing. We get out of the tents. We put
14:59on our oxygen mask. These are MIG
15:01fighter pilot masks. So we stand around.
15:04Looks like a bunch of deranged fighter
15:05pilots. He got on these enormous down
15:08suits. The kind of thing your mom sends
15:10you out to play in the snow. You can't
15:12do much more than waddle back and forth.
15:15But that night, as we begin to move
15:19across the flat expanse of the call
15:21leading to the summit face, it is an
15:25exquisite evening.
15:28The wind
15:30is absolutely still.
15:34It's about 10 below zero, which is
15:37really very warm for a big mountain.
15:40And because there is no man-made light
15:42anywhere, the stars above you shine with
15:45such an incredible brilliance that you
15:48can see them reflected in that cold blue
15:51ice beneath your feet. And they are so
15:53close to you that you can just reach up,
15:57pluck them one at a time from the
15:59heavens,
16:00place them in your pocket and save them
16:03for later.
16:05And as you begin to move, your body
16:08assumes that slow
16:12rhythmic
16:14almost metronome like fashion of
16:16movement which is ingrained between the
16:19frame of your being through the years of
16:20prior climbing. So with each step, those
16:22knives bite into that surface with a
16:24distinctive.
16:26And as you move and you shift your
16:27weight in the cold, the metal in your
16:29boots, in your pack squeak in response,
16:33you start across, start up the summit
16:36face, and there's just nothing to it.
16:38It's just straight up. And all you got
16:41to do is step
16:50and rest.
16:52and step
16:57and rest
16:59hour after hour after endless hour. And
17:03about halfway up the face, you've got to
17:05move in a traverse to the left. And this
17:06is an inherently more dangerous kind of
17:08move in mountaineering. It is harder to
17:10protect traverse. You've got to be able
17:12to see where you're putting your feet.
17:13When I get here, I realize I can't
17:17see the face of this mountain at all.
17:21Some year and a half before I had my
17:23eyes operated on in Dallas, radial
17:25kerattomy done so that I would be safer
17:29in the mountains. Mountain weather and
17:31eyeglasses simply do not mix at all. But
17:34unbeknownst to me and virtually every
17:37opthalmologist in this country, there
17:39are individuals if you do that and then
17:42take them to extreme altitude, the shape
17:45of the front of their eye changes
17:47dramatically. They get huge vision
17:49shifts and they go effectively blind.
17:53But I'm not worried about it
17:57because I know coming to me in the next
18:00couple of hours is a solution to this
18:02problem which is the sun that exists on
18:07one of these mountains is not a sun you
18:10have ever seen before. It is an
18:13enormous, radiant, powerful ball of
18:16light and energy so great it will burn
18:18the inside of your mouth. It will burn
18:20the inside of your nose. You take off
18:22those protective lenses, with moments
18:23your retinas are seared to total
18:25blindness. And I know that once that sun
18:28is fully out, even behind those jet
18:31black lenses, my pupils are going to go
18:33down to a pinpoint. And when they do so,
18:37everything's going to be infinitely in
18:39focus. is just like the pinhole cameras
18:42some of us had as kids. I know it's
18:44going to happen, but I am forced to
18:47stand and wait and go from fourth in
18:50line of some 30-something climbers to
18:52absolutely dead last while everybody
18:56trapes past me.
18:59It's not unpleasant. Actually, it's it's
19:03kind of social. You get chance to see
19:05some folks you hadn't seen in a while.
19:06It's Hey, Ed. How's the wife and kids?
19:09and you're pretty much handshaking and
19:11networking and exchanging business cards
19:13and acting like the Walmart greeter. So,
19:15the sun begins to light that face. You
19:18can see where to put your feet. You take
19:19the front point knives, you dig them
19:21into the hill, you move across, you
19:23achieve the vertical line, and you go up
19:25to the summit ridge. By the time I get
19:28there, my right eye is completely
19:31blurred, which means that I don't have
19:33any depth perception. Not good in this
19:36environment. My left eye
19:40a little blurry, but it's basically
19:41okay. But I know I can't climb above
19:43this point till my vision improves. I
19:45believe it will. But I'm forced to go to
19:48Rob and tell him this whole sad tale.
19:51And I say, Rob, you guys go ahead and
19:54boogie on up the hill. And at the point
19:56that I can see, I just wander up after
19:59you. But I don't like that idea. You got
20:0330 minutes. If you can see in 30
20:06minutes, climb on. If you can't see in
20:1030 minutes, so I don't want you
20:11climbing. And even though it has taken
20:13me years of work to reach this moment, I
20:18can understand the wisdom of that
20:19decision. So I say, "Okay,
20:23I'll accept that."
20:26And then I do something really stupid.
20:30If I can't see in that 30 minute window
20:33you give me at the point that I can, I'm
20:36just going to head down to the high
20:37camp. But I don't like that idea better
20:40than the last one you just had. Cuz if I
20:42come down off the top and you're not
20:43standing here, I'm not going to have any
20:45idea whether you've gone safely down to
20:47that camp, you're just gone for an 8,000
20:49ft whipper.
20:52I want you to promise me, and I am
20:55serious about this.
20:57I want you to promise me
21:00that you're gonna stay here till I come
21:01back.
21:03I said, Rob,
21:07crossed my heart. Hope to die. I'm
21:10sticking.
21:14It never once crossed my mind
21:18that he would never come back.
21:23I waited through that morning and it was
21:25a glorious day. A cloudless sky, the
21:28wind is still. This enormous cathedral
21:31of mountains stretching as far as the I
21:33can see the curvature of the earth
21:36visible beneath your feet.
21:38By noon, three climbers out of our group
21:41begin to descend toward me. There's been
21:42a slowdown, a bottleneck on the
21:44uppermost reaches. They realize there is
21:46no way they can hit that summit by two.
21:49They make the decision to come down. And
21:51as they come to me, they say, "Come down
21:53with us."
21:56I have really put myself in a box. We
21:59have no radio. I have no way to tell
22:02Hall that I left. It says, "If I've
22:06never honored that commitment at all, I
22:08just don't think I can do that." And
22:10they say goodbye.
22:13that would turn out to be the single
22:14worst decision that I'd make that day
22:16because what never crossed my mind was
22:20what was going to happen
22:24when the sun
22:26started to go back down. The pupils open
22:30back up and you go blind.
22:34Expected them back by three it came. It
22:38went has been four five. Now the
22:42mountain is starting to put itself to
22:44bed. It is not threatening. It does what
22:46it does every day. The light has gone
22:49flat. The temperatures beginning to
22:51drop, the wind to pick up, the snow to
22:52move, and I realize I have stayed too
22:54long at the party and I am trapped.
22:57Another half hour goes by and here comes
23:00Mike and he's got Yasco with him, but
23:03she's so tired she can barely stand. She
23:05looks like a walking corpse. The same
23:07time here comes Neil and he's got some
23:10of the Fisher crowd with him. So, we
23:12take Yasco and hand her off
23:15uh to Neil and Mike short ropes me,
23:18which is exactly what it sounds like.
23:20You take about 20 feet worth of rope
23:22tied around the waist of the down
23:23climber and 20 feet back is Mike and
23:27that's going to add his stance and
23:29stability to mine. If you want to get
23:31yourself killed on a mountain, you do it
23:33going down, not going up. It's a whole
23:36lot more dangerous.
23:38It's a good thing we do this because
23:40since I can't see, I move, commit, and
23:43plant my weight. What I believe to be
23:45solid, I step instead on nothing but
23:47air, I come flipping it right off the
23:48face. The rope snaps taut, pulls Mike
23:50off his feet. We both start to slide
23:52down the face together. You take the
23:53axes, you jam them in the hill, you roll
23:55your body weight up on top of the rest
23:57of the fall. We'll do this another two
23:59or three times before we get all the way
24:00down. And he will later describe this as
24:04somewhat unnerving.
24:09But except
24:11for some tears in a down suit and a
24:14whole lot of wounded pride, no harm, no
24:18foul. We get down to the call and we
24:22know we are home free. There is no way
24:27that another 30 maybe 45 minutes of the
24:30absolute outside of easy traverse we're
24:33going to be in those tents in those
24:34sleeping bags drinking hot tea and
24:36putting the day to bed. You cannot see
24:40the camp but it is palpably close.
24:45It's just right over there.
24:48And as you begin
24:51to move across to finish that day, you
24:55hear what begins behind you as a low
24:58sound that moves surrounds crescendos
25:01till it sounds like a squadron of 747s
25:04with their engines on absolute full. You
25:05see these clouds blow you in the face.
25:07They rise up. They hit the edge and a
25:09wall of white rolls across the space of
25:11two or three minutes. You are standing
25:13in a complete white out. You no longer
25:15can see your feet. You put your hand out
25:16in front of you, it disappears. person
25:18standing next to you is no longer there.
25:20On the disembodied headlamps floating in
25:22a wall of white, I grab hold of Mike's
25:24arm. He's my eyes. I dare not lose
25:27contact with him. The temperature is
25:30rapidly plunging. It is quickly 30 below
25:32zero inside the tents that night that
25:34will measure in excess of 50 below.
25:36These are winds above 70 knots, wind
25:38chills way beyond 100 below zero. And it
25:40is incredibly cold.
25:43We now have to feel the slope of this
25:46hill.
25:48to discern where the camp is that we no
25:50longer can see. And we move like a bunch
25:53of first graders trying to play soccer.
25:56Nobody wanting to be separated one from
25:58the other. And you turn
26:00and that's not it.
26:02And you turn again and that's not it. In
26:06the space of a few moments, you're so
26:08turned around, you don't have any idea
26:09what direction you're facing. The only
26:11thing that exists is a mastrom of wind
26:13and noise and ice and cold. But you
26:16continue to move and the hair on the
26:19back of Neil's neck spins up. I don't
26:22know if this is intuition, experience,
26:26all the above, but he says, "Something
26:29is wrong here. We're stopping."
26:33Good decision. We're now 25 yards from
26:35the 7,000 ft vertical plunge off the
26:37canun face. The ice is rapidly downs
26:40sloping. In a few more paces, the whole
26:42group simply would have skidded right
26:44off the hill.
26:46But as you stop,
26:49the other thing that stops
26:52is the furnace that keeps you alive. The
26:56only way you stay warm up there is
26:58through constant, unremitting,
27:00unrelenting, neverending work. To stand
27:02is to freeze to death. And I know it's
27:05beginning to happen. I no longer can
27:07feel or move my right arm. This is not
27:11that uncommon in extremely cold
27:12conditions. Cure for it is pretty
27:14simple. You take off two of the three
27:16gloves you got on that side. Take your
27:18arms, stick it up underneath your coat
27:20against the skin of your chest. When you
27:22can move your hand again, you know it's
27:24okay. Take it back out, the gloves back
27:27on, go about your business.
27:29But even though I have been in extremely
27:32cold places before, as I pull those
27:35outer gloves off, I felt something that
27:37I have never felt before. Even beneath
27:40that third expedition weight glove, the
27:43skin on my hand on my arm froze solid as
27:47a wave of ascending pain. And it so
27:49startled me that I loosened that grip in
27:52my glove in my left hand went
27:55off into outer space just that fast.
27:58I've got another pair of gloves exactly
28:01like it on the pack on my back. They
28:03might as well be on the face of the
28:05moon. There is no way you can take that
28:07pack off, put it down, and rummage
28:09through it. This wind is strong enough
28:11to pick you up and throw you
28:14for one moment. Clouds overhead open up
28:19and you can see directly overhead the
28:21Big Dipper. And one of the group yells
28:22out, "I've seen the stars. I know where
28:25the camp is." We rapidly formulate a
28:28plan, which is pretty simple. that is
28:29the strongest amongst us are going to
28:32make a high-speed run in the direction
28:33we believe the camp to exist, get help,
28:37come back and bring the others in. I
28:39talk about this with Mike. I can walk,
28:42okay, I just can't see and I've got to
28:44hold on to his arm and I'm going to slow
28:46him down. He's one of the stronger guys
28:48up there. So, I agree to remain. By this
28:50time, Charlotte, Sandy, Yasco can't
28:56walk.
28:57So, we're the four who remain. They
28:59begin to move from us. And Tim says,
29:03"You guys can go, but I am not going to
29:06leave Charlotte here."
29:09And I got to tell you, that takes an
29:11enormous amount of guts to voluntarily
29:14place your self in a storm like that,
29:16knowing that may be a self-imposed death
29:19sentence.
29:20They move from us.
29:22We lie down on the ice back to back,
29:25bellyto belly, trying to get out of that
29:27wind and you turn to the person next to
29:29you and you yell at them. You hit them.
29:32You kick them. Anything to remain awake.
29:35Because one thing that every mountaineer
29:37knows, it is a given, a truth, a fact,
29:39an icon that if you allow yourself to be
29:41taken down by that cold, it is a one-way
29:45ticket. There's no way to put a heat
29:48source upon you to bring you back. Your
29:50core temperature will plunge until your
29:53heart stops.
29:55You continue to struggle.
29:58Now the pain
30:02of the cold is entirely through your
30:05body.
30:07And Charlotte
30:09says,
30:10"I don't care anymore.
30:13All I want to do is die quickly."
30:18Tim tells her, Wrong answer, Charlotte.
30:21Move your legs. Move your hands. Come
30:24on.
30:26Now,
30:27Sandy
30:29does something that makes a heck of a
30:30lot of sense to me because she becomes
30:32completely and utterly hysterical.
30:37I don't want to die.
30:40I don't want My hands are freezing. My
30:43face is freezing. I don't want to die.
30:49I didn't say anything
30:52in large part because she was covering
30:55it pretty well. She certainly was
30:58expressing my sentiments.
31:00The other
31:03individual who was silent was Yasco
31:07and that is a point which has haunted me
31:10all this time.
31:13She was exhausted and she was terrified
31:16and I don't even know that she knew
31:18where she was.
31:20But as they started to move from us,
31:24she desperately
31:26clung to Neil's arm
31:29and he had to take his hand,
31:35strip hers
31:38so he could walk away from us.
31:42We continue struggle.
31:46And as I do so, I realize
31:50I'm not so cold anymore.
31:53And even in my befuddled state,
31:57I know this is not a good thing.
32:00and try though I do,
32:04slowly,
32:07gently,
32:09inexraably,
32:12the cold moves through you and darkness
32:16claims you.
32:20By the time
32:22they get back to camp, it is all they
32:24can do to crawl on their hands and knees
32:27across the threshold of those tents.
32:29They're too exhausted to stand up.
32:31They're not coming back. The sherpa
32:33won't. And there's not going to be any
32:36rescue.
32:38That day, Anatoli
32:41had forsaken his duties as a guide. He'd
32:44climbed for himself by himself without
32:46oxygen, gone straight up, straight back
32:49down. He didn't say hi, bye, or kiss my
32:51grits to anybody. He's been in his tent
32:53the last couple of hours recovering. If
32:56that's where his story ended, the
32:58climbing community would have stripped
33:00the flesh off of his bones. They are not
33:03a particularly forgiving bunch.
33:06But he did that night what no one else
33:09could or would alone. He went into that
33:14storm three times,
33:16finding no one in the first two attempts
33:19and the third locating our little huddle
33:22by the face where he would then bring in
33:25each of the three fisher climbers and
33:27leave the two whole climbers.
33:30He's told at least three stories of what
33:33occurred in that encounter and I believe
33:35all of them
33:37because it really doesn't matter.
33:40By saving those three people who
33:42otherwise surely would have died,
33:45Anatoli redeemed himself
33:48and became a hero.
33:51I think that many of you know that he
33:53will subsequently perish in an avalanche
33:55on Anaperna on Christmas Day.
34:00as a sidebar to this story because I
34:02think it is an interesting study in
34:06people choices morality.
34:11Doug that day was climbing poorly. He
34:15went past the 2:00, the 3:00, the 4:00.
34:19I don't know why he did it. I don't know
34:21why Rob let him do it. But the year
34:24before when he came so close,
34:28he looked good going up. But when he
34:32turned, he lost it and he had to be
34:35helped down.
34:38Your body doesn't carry you up there.
34:41Your mind does. Your body has been
34:44exhausted countless hours ago. And it is
34:46only through will and focus and drive
34:48and determination do you command your
34:52body to move.
34:54And if you lose that,
34:56your body is a dead and worthless thing
35:00beneath you.
35:02This year, Doug made it all the way to
35:05the summit.
35:07But as he turned, he did exactly the
35:10same thing again.
35:13And that's all he had.
35:16That is all he brought with him.
35:20Now Rob's got a heck of a problem on his
35:22hands. He cannot rescue Doug. He cannot
35:26get Doug down from this place. He can
35:28yell at him. He can encourage him. He
35:30can stay with him, but he cannot do it
35:33for him.
35:35If he leaves Doug,
35:37Doug is dead. If he stays with him, they
35:42both are probably going to die.
35:44He gets on the radio. He calls down to
35:46base. They talk about this and they say,
35:48"Rob,
35:50I know this is hard,
35:54but you can't save him.
35:57Save yourself."
36:02It comes as no surprise to those of us
36:04who knew him to know he could ever do
36:06that
36:08and face himself again as a human being.
36:10He was quite literally damned if he did
36:14and doomed if he did not.
36:17He gets back on the radio, says, "Guys,
36:19we're in desperate trouble." And bless
36:22his sweet young heart, young Andy, about
36:25a quarter of the way down. He's pretty
36:26much gone. He hears it. And he once
36:30again turns and he slowly labors his way
36:34back up that hill, gets the cash oxygen,
36:37carries it all the way back to them,
36:41and the next moments trying to descend,
36:43exhausted, and he'll fall to his death.
36:46that night trying to cross the knife
36:48edge that separates the north from the
36:51south summit.
36:55Doug's going to peel off
36:59and Rob will slowly freeze to death over
37:03the next 24 hours in full view of the
37:06world.
37:08He survived that night, but the next day
37:12his darkness began to descend and there
37:16was no longer any hope.
37:20They contacted his wife Jan in New
37:23Zealand,
37:25pregnant at seven months with their
37:27first child.
37:29And they held that satellite phone
37:33up to the radio
37:35and everyone on that mountain with the
37:37radio
37:39bore silent witness to their last
37:42moments together.
37:52They named their child.
37:57She to him.
38:00Rob, hold on.
38:03We'll get to you. I don't care how you
38:06come back to me.
38:09I'll take care of you.
38:13He to her,
38:16"Sleep well, my darling.
38:20I'll be okay."
38:23And both of them knowing exactly what
38:27lay ahead.
38:29And when those moments had passed,
38:33Rob no longer had to be strong.
38:36And he didn't know the radio was still
38:38on. And you could hear him quietly
38:40weeping as he had to face his own
38:43imminent death.
38:49The following morning, storm abaded
38:51somewhat. Winds dropped to about 30
38:54knots and Stuart gets out of the tent
38:58and along with three sherpa, he comes
39:00over to find our bodies. Yes. and I lie
39:04next to each other, largely buried in
39:07snow and ice. And he moves first to her,
39:10and he reaches down. He grabs her by the
39:13coat. He pulls her up. She has a 3-in
39:16thick layer of ice across her face, a
39:18mask, which he peels back,
39:21and her skin is porcelain.
39:25Her eyes are dilated,
39:28but she is still breathing. He moves to
39:31me, pulls me up, cleans the ice out of
39:35my eyes, off of my beard so he can stare
39:37into my face and I like Yasco
39:40and barely clinging to life. He would
39:42later say he had never seen a human
39:44being so close to death and still
39:46breathing and coming from a
39:47cardiologist. I'll accept that at face
39:49value.
39:53What do you do?
39:57You turn to the lead sherpon. The answer
39:59really was quite simple.
40:01You leave them. Every mountaineer knows
40:04that once you go into hypothermic coma
40:06in the high mountains, you never ever
40:08ever wake up. They are going to die
40:11anyway.
40:13It will be more merciful to leave them.
40:19And
40:21if we take them back,
40:24it will only endanger our lives.
40:28they move from us.
40:30I don't begrudge that decision
40:34on my own behalf, but how much would it
40:37have taken to take Yasco back?
40:40She was so tiny.
40:44At least she could have died in the tent
40:46surrounded by people and not alone on
40:49the ice.
40:51They get back to camp and they tell them
40:54we're dead.
40:57Radio down to base, satellite link. In a
40:59warm, beautiful spring, sunny Saturday
41:01morning in Dallas, Texas. The phone in
41:03our house rings. Peach answers.
41:06And they tell her that Beck has been
41:08killed descending from the summit ridge.
41:11She asks them, "Is there any hope?"
41:18No, I'm I'm sorry. There there's been a
41:21positive body identification.
41:23I'm sorry.
41:26She then must go and awaken her two
41:29children
41:30and tell them that their father will
41:32never come home again.
41:37That afternoon,
41:3922 hours in the storm, 15 hours frozen
41:42face down on the ice,
41:45a miracle occurred. And that miracle
41:50simply stated
41:53was that I opened my eyes.
41:58That's it. I opened my eyes.
42:02Not that I would stand and struggle
42:05alone back to the high camp. And the
42:07next day I would stand again and walk
42:09the 4,000 vertical feet down that blue
42:11ice wall. The next day the world's
42:12highest helicopter rescue would occur.
42:15none of those big things.
42:18I was given a chance to try
42:21and I lay there
42:24warm, comfortable
42:27in my own bed, the light streaming to me
42:30through the window. And as I awakened,
42:34directly in front of my face is my
42:36gloveless dead hand, a gray marble,
42:39lifeless thing. And I took it and I hit
42:41it on the ice in front of me. bounced
42:43off, make a sound like a block of wood,
42:45and had the marvelous effect of focusing
42:47my attention and telling me I am not in
42:50my own bed. I am somewhere on that
42:52mountain. I don't know where.
42:54And I know innately
42:57that Calvar's not coming because if they
43:00were going to be there, they already
43:02would have been there.
43:06And I can see before me
43:10as clearly
43:14as I see you,
43:17my family and I knew
43:21that if I did not stand,
43:24I would spend an eternity on this spot.
43:28I struggled to my feet, took off the
43:31pack, discarded it along with the axe.
43:36oneot deal.
43:38If I don't make that camp, I'm not going
43:40to need them and they're going to slow
43:42me down. That moment, both symbolically
43:46and very much in reality,
43:48those were the last things I owned on
43:52this earth.
43:54Someone that night had yelled above the
43:57storm, "What direction does the wind
44:00blow over the high camp?" And the answer
44:02was if the wind hadn't shifted at all.
44:05The wind blows up the face across the
44:07camp across the call. Which would mean
44:10if the wind hadn't shifted at all, the
44:13camp ought to be somewhere upwind.
44:18And I decided that I would face into
44:20that wind because it was as good as the
44:22359 other choices I had. And I would
44:26walk into it. If I fell down, I would
44:29get up. If I fell down again, I would
44:31get up and I would keep walking until I
44:34walked into that camp, fell down and
44:36could not stand or I walked off the face
44:38of that mountain.
44:40Began that journey. Both of my hands
44:43were completely frozen. My face had been
44:45destroyed by the cold. I was profoundly
44:48hypothermic. I'd not eaten in three
44:50days. I had no water in two days. I was
44:53lost. And I was almost completely blind.
44:57A lesser person could be discouraged,
45:02but you continue to move in that oh so
45:05familiar fashion. And as those moments
45:08pass, I realize that I am not going to
45:11get through this alive.
45:13And I look back with lucid recall
45:18because the thing that so surprised me
45:20was that I was not at all frightened.
45:24And I am not a particularly brave
45:25individual. I would have thought having
45:28to come to grips with that moment that
45:30I'd be terrified. But that is not what I
45:32felt at all. Rather, there was an
45:35enormous overwhelming
45:37encompassing
45:39sense of melancholy.
45:44That I would not say goodbye.
45:50that I would never again
45:53say I love you to my wife
46:00that I would never again
46:04hold my children
46:08was just not acceptable.
46:14I tell you what you don't think about.
46:17You do not say to yourself, "If only
46:22I bought that Mercedes I had my eye on."
46:27Well, be a happy camper.
46:29And if I had one more plaque certificate
46:32of appreciation on my love me wall
46:34attesting to the fact that I am indeed a
46:37total stud muffin,
46:39this would be a lot easier.
46:42But you continue to move and it's
46:44getting awfully close now because things
46:45are really moving around on me. And I
46:47see these two odd blue rocks in front of
46:49me and the thought flashes through my
46:51mind. Those might be the tents. And as
46:53quickly as I think that, I say to
46:55myself, don't do that. Because when you
46:58walk up to them and they are nothing but
46:59rocks, you may be discouraged. You may
47:01stop. And you cannot do that. You're
47:03going to walk up to them. You walk right
47:05past them. It makes no difference. And I
47:07get within a 100 ft of my odd blue rocks
47:13and Todd Berles stands up and he looks
47:16at me. This thing just come to him out
47:18of the mist. He doesn't recognize me. My
47:21face is so blackened and distorted. But
47:23he does come to me. Takes me by the arm
47:27to the first tent. It's Scott's tent.
47:29They know he's dead and he's not going
47:30to need it. Place me in two sleeping
47:32bags, hot water bottles under each arm
47:34shot of steroids in the leg. and they
47:36call down to the base camp doctor and
47:39say, "You are not going to believe what
47:42just walked into this camp." And the
47:45response back is,
47:48"That's fascinating,
47:51but it changes nothing. He's going to
47:54die. Don't bring him down."
47:57Fortunately, they didn't tell me that.
48:00They called up Peach and they told her
48:02that I was not as dead as they thought I
48:03was.
48:06But I am critically injured. Now,
48:08they're trying to tell her one thing,
48:09but what she hears is an entirely
48:13different thing.
48:15They do that night,
48:17place me alone in that tent to finish
48:21the work that needs to be done.
48:24And the storm comes back in with the
48:26same ferocities as the night before.
48:28Because the tent is designed to give
48:30before the force of the wind rather than
48:32be ripped to sun. As those gusts come
48:33in, it presses on your chest, on your
48:35face so hard you can't breathe until you
48:37roll onto your side and leaves a small
48:39space in front of your face. My right
48:41hand, my right forearm start to swell at
48:43the level of a wristwatch that I'm
48:44wearing, which I try desperately to bite
48:47off. But I will tell you, Seikko makes a
48:50darn good watch band.
48:52And I was completely ineffectual.
48:56Doors on the tent blow out. It fills
48:58with snow. I come out of the bags and I
49:00am once again in the storm.
49:03The following morning, everybody in the
49:06camp leaves
49:10there. But three people remaining when I
49:13hear a noise outside.
49:16Hello,
49:18any anybody out there? And John Crackour
49:22comes over, looks in, his jaw dropped
49:24down to the middle of his chest. I said,
49:25"John, if you don't mind, would you ask
49:30Pete Athens, there's a guy up there, if
49:32he'd step over here, I'd kind of like to
49:34talk to him." Pete comes over, looks in,
49:37and I am, in fact, still alive. I'm
49:40fully dressed, got the boots on, you
49:41don't take them off. Your feet swell so
49:43much you can't get back into them. So,
49:44it's a fairly simple thing. Stand up,
49:47put the 12 knives back on each foot,
49:50bring two liters of tea, and with Pete
49:52and Todd's help and a quarter of the way
49:53down, the help of the IMAX film crew, My
49:55Home Movie Guys, we walk that 4,000
49:58vertical feet down into camp 2, where
50:00they dress my hands. And as they do so,
50:05we hear a rumor of a helicopter rescue.
50:09Now, to those of us there, those of us
50:13in the know, this is a joke. Ain't
50:17happened. Ain't ever going to happen.
50:19The lowest camp in this mountain is
50:21above the ceiling of their helicopter.
50:22The air is so thin they simply fall out
50:25of the air. We know that.
50:29But nobody
50:31told Peach. And because she did not know
50:35it could not be done, she did it. Along
50:38with a bunch of North Dallas power moms,
50:41any one of whom can run a Fortune 500
50:43company out of their kitchen, they
50:45proceed to call everybody in the United
50:47States. If you didn't personally receive
50:50a phone call, you weren't home. You had
50:52your machine turned off. And in so
50:54doing, they enlist the aid of K. Bailey
50:56Hutcherson and Tom Dashel in one of
50:58those rare bipartisan moments talked
51:00about but never seen. They light a fire
51:03under the state department who contacts
51:05a fine young man in the embassy in
51:07Catmandeue, David Shinstead, who works
51:09with a beautiful Nepalese woman, Inu
51:14Casey. And the KC stands for Kas Cetri.
51:20And this is the warrior cast under Paul.
51:22And this is something they take very
51:25seriously.
51:27And she told him,
51:30"I know a man
51:32who
51:33believes that he has a brave heart, but
51:38he has never been sufficiently
51:40challenged to know if this is true." And
51:44I would ask him and they went to
51:46Lieutenant Colonel Madan KC. Well, as it
51:50turned this down, he asked completely
51:52foolardy. He said, "I will do this
51:56thing. I will rescue the back." And we
52:00get up at 5:30 in the morning to walk
52:02the 2,000 vertical feet down the valley.
52:04We come to the precipice edge. Radio
52:06comes alive. Helicopter's here. He's
52:09going to try it. He's here for weathers.
52:13One climber, one climber only. Get
52:16ready. And we receive this message
52:18coming down the valley toward us as a
52:20group of sherper. They're dragging
52:21something between them. And the thing
52:23they're dragging between them is Maluga.
52:26He's a Taiwanese climber. His feet have
52:28been destroyed and he can't stand and
52:31we've got a problem.
52:34We talk about this and I tell them, "I
52:37can't get on that helicopter."
52:40That decision was not made because it
52:42was the right thing to do, which I think
52:45it was.
52:46It was made rather because I didn't want
52:48to ask myself that question every day
52:52for the rest of my life. Price was too
52:55dear.
52:57Helicopter
52:59rises into view, moves up the valley,
53:03begins to descend toward us, and then
53:05just disappears off the face. And I
53:06think this guy is not as stupid as I
53:09think he is because it's a supremely
53:11dumb idea. If he puts this machine down
53:14here for any reason and can't take it
53:15off, he's a dead man. He's got to know
53:18that. And he does know it. He's not a
53:21climber. He doesn't have the clothing,
53:23the equipment, the skills, the
53:24experience. And he's going to be
53:25standing above 2,000 the most vicious
53:27feet of real estate on this planet. And
53:29at this altitude, the altitude alone can
53:32kill you before you can get out of
53:33there.
53:34But once again,
53:36helicopter rises into view. This time it
53:40is one lone man. He moves up the valley
53:43with slow, deliberate movement and
53:46delicate precision. He lays those skids
53:50on the surface. He does not land. He
53:52does not let the weight of this machine
53:54descend. He has no idea whether this is
53:56solid or chiffon over air. You never
53:58know when you're standing up there.
53:59Whether you're standing above a creass,
54:00the power is fullon. His hands are
54:02frozen on the controls. Does not look
54:05left or right. It changes your depth
54:06perception. We grab Maloo like a sack of
54:09potatoes. We take him over there and we
54:11throw him in the back. Slam the door.
54:13The tail comes up. It does not rise, but
54:15it does move toward that edge where it
54:18will then plunge out of sight as does my
54:20heart.
54:24He's not coming back.
54:29I've done a lot of stupid things in my
54:31life
54:33one time that I wouldn't do a second
54:37time. And for him, this clearly was in
54:40that category.
54:42We stood there,
54:45five, 10 minutes.
54:50We didn't say anything because there
54:51just wasn't anything to say.
54:55And then
54:58I heard
55:00the most beautiful sound I have ever
55:02heard in my entire life. That
55:06that distinctive chop of the helicopter
55:08and long before you can see it, you can
55:10hear it as it claws its way up that face
55:12rising again. That same lone man, he
55:14moves up the valley with greater
55:16authority, but with the same delicate
55:17precision, he lays those skids on the
55:20surface. And I am not waiting.
55:23I hop, put it over there, dive in the
55:25back, door slam shut, tail comes up, and
55:27once again, we're moving toward that
55:29precipice edge where he takes this
55:31machine screaming vertically down that
55:33face. The blades whipping around above
55:34you, trying to grab hold, which is air
55:36and cold and heavy, and ditch provide
55:37lifted is alive beneath you. It presses
55:39into your spine and pulls you back into
55:42the air and you know that you are safe.
55:46He takes the machine, puts it down at
55:48base. We get Maloo, put him back on, get
55:49the co-pilot, put him back on, get all
55:51the gear stripped off this machine, put
55:53it back on.
55:55When he comes up to get me, he's flying
55:57on 15 minutes of fuel to make this
55:59machine absolutely bone dry.
56:04And I will tell you, this man will never
56:08have to wonder again
56:10whether he has a brave heart.
56:15He is to me
56:17the most extraordinary person in this
56:19story. He doesn't know me.
56:22He doesn't know my family.
56:25And he has a family for whom he is the
56:27sole responsible individual. We are
56:29separated by language, by culture, by
56:34religion,
56:36by the entire
56:38breadth of this world.
56:44but bound
56:46together
56:48by a bond of common humanity.
56:55You learn
56:58a variety of lessons from such an
57:00experience.
57:03One of the things that makes this story
57:05somewhat interesting is the common
57:08quality of the narrator. I am not a
57:11person of any special gifts or
57:14strengths. I am in the wrong place at
57:16the wrong time. And except for Walter
57:18Mitti dreams,
57:20I am an entirely ordinary individual.
57:23And we are all of the same clay.
57:27And if I can survive that which is
57:30unservivable,
57:33so can you. There exists within each of
57:36us an enormous well of strength. If you
57:39will but believe it and reach out and
57:41grasp it, embrace it and use it. If
57:43you're going to come through something
57:44like this, you have got to have within
57:46your life an anchor. It can be your
57:49friends. It can be your God
57:53can be
57:55as it was for me and is my family.
58:02I learned that day
58:05that miracles do occur.
58:08And in fact, I think they occur pretty
58:10commonly. But if they're not the kind of
58:13miracle that reaches out and grabs you
58:16by the lapels and you so hard your
58:20teeth come loose.
58:22It's not big enough to be a miracle.
58:27But my miracle
58:30was that I opened my eyes.
58:35Is that really any different than what
58:38you did this morning?
58:41Did you understand that?
58:44Do you know why you were granted one
58:46more day of life's most precious gift?
58:52One of the things that happens to us as
58:54we age, become more mature, is we lose
58:59that sense
59:01of wonder and awe and astonishment at
59:05life. It's just always there. And the
59:09only time that you get to see it again
59:11is through the eyes of your own children
59:13when they see life for the very first
59:16time and you say, "Yes,
59:19I remember that.
59:22That's how it was
59:25and then it's gone.
59:28I get to see that every single day and
59:32it is an exquisite treasure.
59:36The fellows that put me back together,
59:38not much of this is original equipment,
59:41you know, remark, you still got some
59:43scars there and we can buff those out of
59:45there and you'll never see them again.
59:46And I say, oh no you're not. I want to
59:50get up every day for the rest of my
59:52life. I want to look into that mirror
59:53and I want to be reminded of the lessons
59:55I've learned because I opened my eyes to
59:58more than that mountain. I saw my own
1:00:00future and I didn't like it. The path
1:00:03that I had chosen led to the same lonely
1:00:07end.
1:00:09Whether it was at that moment on the
1:00:11mountain or decades hence,
1:00:13the relentless pursuit of success,
1:00:18goals, ambition
1:00:21without balance in my life was driving
1:00:24out of my life,
1:00:27that which was most precious to me.
1:00:31I traded my hands
1:00:34for my family and my future, and it is a
1:00:37bargain. I readily accept.
1:00:41I have traveled
1:00:43the whole world over seeking that which
1:00:47would fulfill me, make me whole, and
1:00:50give me peace.
1:00:53And it was in my own backyard.
1:01:01In the final analysis
1:01:05that which matters
1:01:09really
1:01:11the only thing that matters
1:01:16are the people you hold in your heart
1:01:25and those who hold you
1:01:31in the house.
1:01:36Thank you.
1:01:58Absolutely.
1:02:00No problem.
1:02:02Awesome.
1:02:03[Applause]
1:02:08Well, I don't know if I can get through
1:02:10this.

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