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La RAÍZ del MACHISMO y el RESPETO en COREA 🧐 La CULPA la tiene CONFUCIO — Transcript

by Liry Onni · 2,911 words · 444 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:03Hello. If you've ever wondered why
0:08Koreans are so sexist and patriarchal,
0:10you need to watch this video. I don't
0:14mean to be mean, but I'm going to put a
0:16large part of the blame on our dear
0:18Confucius, this man "Kong Fuzi," or "
0:20Kongja" in Korean. He's like the
0:23Aristotle of the East. He was a sage
0:26who founded Confucianism back in 500
0:28B.C. in China, and it later spread to
0:31other Eastern countries like Korea,
0:33Japan, and Vietnam. But in the case of
0:36the Koreans, they ended up being more
0:38Confucian than Confucius himself. Many
0:41believe that Koreans are traditionally
0:43Buddhist, and it actually did have a
0:45golden age during the Unified Silla and
0:47Goryeo periods. During those periods,
0:50Buddhism was indeed the official
0:52religion, but then it was overshadowed
0:55by the arrival of the Joseon dynasty,
0:57which proclaimed Confucianism as the
0:59dominant social system and official
1:01religion. In reality, what we call
1:04Confucianism in Korea isn't so pure;
1:06they adapted it, developed it further,
1:09and call it Neo-Confucianism. You have
1:11to keep that in mind. But both
1:14Confucianism and Buddhism were used by
1:17Korean kings to help them govern,
1:19because sharing a common ideology kept
1:22the country united and society in order
1:24. Today it is debatable whether
1:27Confucianism is a religion or not. More
1:30than a religion, it is considered more
1:32of a philosophy or an ideology, but...
1:34The interesting thing is that to this
1:36day, it remains present in Korean
1:38society because it is fused into all...
1:41customs, culture, and their values. If
1:44you understand Confucianism, you will
1:46understand everything, or at least
1:48almost everything, about why Korea is
1:49the way it is today. So, what is
1:52Confucianism based on? I'm not going to
1:54explain everything because it's super
1:56deep. It's like trying to summarize
1:58what Buddhism or Christianity is. The
2:01only thing I want you to know is that
2:03Master Confucius saw the country as one
2:05big family and families as a mini-state
2:07. In other words, for the country to be
2:10orderly and for everyone to act
2:12correctly, it had to start at home,
2:14because after all, family values were
2:16what would determine the values of the
2:18whole country. The logic was that if
2:20you don't even know how to respect your
2:22parents at home, how are you going to
2:24respect the father of the nation, who
2:25is the king? This is where the concept
2:28of respect for parents, for elders, and
2:31obviously for the king arises. This
2:33makes society quite hierarchical and
2:35quite vertical. The head of the country
2:38is the king; in a family, it's the
2:40father, or the eldest son if the father
2:42is absent. They must be respected and
2:46obeyed, but they are also responsible
2:49for protecting and providing for others
2:53; if they fail, they should be shamed.
2:57The weight of this responsibility is
2:59quite heavy. This relationship applies
3:02to father and son, king and subject,
3:05husband and wife, and extends to all
3:08social roles: adult and child, man and
3:11woman, older and younger sibling.
3:14Nowadays, you could say it also applies
3:17to bosses and employees. Everything is
3:21interconnected; what happens in
3:23families affects the country, so one
3:27must be careful, as actions ripple
3:30through society. In Confucian thought,
3:33there is no individuality; society must
3:35be harmonious as a whole, with
3:37collective well-being prioritized over
3:40the individual. Obedience, respect, and
3:43unity among people are fundamental in
3:46Confucianism. To ensure this, they
3:49established specific rules, formalities
3:52, and rituals so that people act and
3:55think according to Confucian morality.
3:58There is a full protocol and set of
4:00rules for the most important moments in
4:02life. Marriage also had its own
4:04elaborate procedure. Confucius strictly
4:06separated men and women, and meetings
4:10were not permitted. There was a rule
4:13stating that from the age of seven,
4:15boys and girls could not be in the same
4:17place together. Since there was no way
4:20to get to know each other, the family
4:23elders—grandparents, parents, and
4:25even uncles—decided who married whom.
4:29Marriages were arranged, and for this
4:32important decision, they had a
4:35matchmaker who calculated compatibility
4:38based on the year, month, day, and hour
4:41of birth. Yes, kids, they got married
4:44without even knowing each other. The
4:46tradition of parents getting involved
4:48in marriage decisions dates back to
4:50this era. Even today, it is not frowned
4:53upon for parents to suggest a candidate
4:56for marriage. However, at least
4:58nowadays, one is free to choose who to
5:01marry. Back then, though, they had to
5:03accept the mandate of their parents.
5:06There are many protocols for the
5:07wedding ceremony. Nowadays, it has
5:10become a more summarized version called
5:12Pyebaek. I also followed that ritual
5:14when I got married. If you want, you
5:16can watch my wedding video. Weddings in
5:19the Joseon era were quite different
5:21from today. Back then, weddings were
5:25held in the bride's courtyard, and then
5:28she would move to her husband's home,
5:30never to return. They could only meet
5:34their families once a year. On
5:37Thanksgiving, they would arrange to
5:40meet halfway between their homes, and
5:43even then, they had to return as soon
5:46as possible. Once a woman married, she
5:50belonged to her husband’s family. Her
5:52husband’s family became her own, and
5:55this mindset persists even today. In
5:58those days, a woman's goal was to be a
6:00devoted mother and a faithful wife. Her
6:04manners had to be discreet. She was not
6:06supposed to talk much and her
6:08appearance had to be modest. They had
6:11to be simple, without flashy adornments
6:13. Education was considered unnecessary
6:15for women. They only learned basics for
6:18daily life and raising children. They
6:21were not allowed to have significant
6:24societal roles, as they were limited to
6:26housework. They couldn't go out freely
6:31to have fun; if they had to go out,
6:35they covered their faces, or in elite
6:39families, they traveled hidden in a
6:43palanquin. Both inside and outside the
6:46home, men and women had to be separated
6:48. That’s why elite homes had a
6:53street-facing area for men called '
6:56Sarangchae', while the 'Anchae' in the
7:01back was for women and children; others
7:05lived in small thatched houses.
7:09Inevitably they lived together, but if
7:12possible, they tried to stay in
7:14separate rooms. Women were expected to
7:18show absolute fidelity. That was
7:20considered one of the highest virtues.
7:22If she became a widow, she couldn't
7:24remarry because she had to remain
7:26faithful to her late husband. For a
7:28woman, becoming a widow was the worst
7:30thing that could happen. When a husband
7:32passed away, she had to mourn for three
7:35years. Women in the Joseon era carried
7:38a small blade called an 'eunjangdo' for
7:41protection. Faced with the threat of
7:45sexual assault, a woman was expected to
7:47use it to commit suicide to protect her
7:49honor. Meaning, it wasn't to fight the
7:51attacker, but to defend her own virtue.
7:54The law indirectly punished widows as
7:57well. If a widow remarried and had
8:00children, those children lost the
8:03chance to take a very important exam,
8:05one that allowed you to move up in
8:08social status if you passed. Just for
8:11being children from a widow's second
8:13marriage, they were discriminated
8:14against like that. It’s ironic that
8:17all this was demanded of women, while
8:18men could have more than one wife, in
8:20other words, concubines. And on top of
8:23that, by law, there were seven reasons
8:25or excuses for a man to divorce his
8:28wife. If the woman didn't respect her
8:31in-laws, couldn't have children, was
8:33lustful, jealous, had an illness,
8:35talked too much, or committed theft.
8:38For any of these seven reasons, a man
8:40could kick his wife out, even for just
8:42talking too much, you understand? How
8:44terrible, if they were sick they could
8:46also be kicked out; in other words,
8:47they could be thrown out for anything,
8:49and yet men could be unfaithful. Did
8:51you know that in Korea, the adultery
8:53law existed until 2015? Meaning, you
8:55could go to jail for being unfaithful.
8:58But the craziest part is that until
9:001947, this law only applied to women,
9:02and it was only starting from that year
9:05that it began to apply to men as well.
9:08Another injustice was that women
9:10couldn't receive inheritance; only male
9:12children could, and the eldest son
9:14received the most. The issue of the
9:17eldest son, the firstborn, is that
9:19after the father, he is the most
9:20important in the family, because if the
9:22father is gone, the head of the family
9:24isn't the mom, but the eldest son. It
9:27happens that before, women were taught
9:29from a young age that they had to obey
9:32their father, then their husband when
9:34they married, and follow their son when
9:37the husband died. This was called the
9:40code of triple obedience. A woman
9:43couldn't be the head of the family, and
9:45until 2005, a single mother couldn't
9:48register her own child as hers because
9:50she couldn't take the place of the
9:52family patriarch. It must be said that
9:55remnants of these customs still remain
9:57in various areas. For example, at wakes
9:59, only the eldest son can be the host,
10:01and not the wife or any of the
10:03daughters. The figure in charge of
10:06leading the ancestor worship, in Korean
10:08, it's called jesa. Now, in a little
10:10bit, I will explain to you in detail
10:12what this is about. Well, this jesa,
10:15the ancestor worship, is the special
10:17task of the eldest son, although the
10:19one who has to cook and work for the
10:22ritual table is not him, but his wife.
10:25Regarding this topic, I had seen people
10:28on social media asking if Korean
10:30first-born sons could marry foreigners.
10:33I don’t know why so many people have
10:34that question. I think the idea comes
10:37from the fact that the eldest son has
10:39to take charge of ancestor worship
10:41rituals, and foreigners have no idea
10:43about this culture. Perhaps that is
10:46seen as an obstacle, which is why I
10:48think the myth arose that Korean eldest
10:51sons cannot marry foreigners; but in
10:53reality, not all Korean families are
10:55conservative, not all families observe
10:57these rituals, and beyond that, I think
11:00accepting a foreign daughter-in-law
11:02depends more on whether the family is
11:04open-minded or closed-minded, and the
11:06issue of being the first-born son is
11:09just an excuse. Another thing to keep
11:12in mind is that there is a mentality
11:14that the eldest son is responsible for
11:16supporting his parents, and many eldest
11:18sons feel an obligation to live with
11:20them; even if they don't live with them
11:22, they feel greater pressure to care
11:24for and support them. The eldest son is
11:27also viewed as the family model who,
11:29because he is the oldest, must set an
11:31example for his siblings. There is a
11:33lot of injustice and a lot of pressure
11:35in being the eldest son. As you can see
11:37, for families it was very important to
11:40have a male child because he is the one
11:42who will continue the lineage and is in
11:44charge of performing this ritual that
11:46is super important for Confucianism.
11:49Women used to get pregnant as many
11:51times as necessary to have a male child
11:53. It was very common to have an
11:54abortion if they knew it was going to
11:56be a girl. To such an extent that in
11:591987, a ban was issued preventing
12:01obstetricians from revealing the baby's
12:04sex to the parents until birth. In
12:07other words, until they were born, you
12:08couldn't know if it was a girl or a boy
12:10. Nowadays, due to a Supreme Court
12:13ruling, doctors can reveal the baby's
12:15sex to the parents starting from the
12:1732nd week. Keep in mind that Korea
12:20wasn't always like this during the era
12:21of the Three Kingdoms. During the early
12:24Joseon period, society was more
12:26egalitarian, neither matriarchal nor
12:29patriarchal, as both genders lived in
12:31equality. Although women didn't have
12:35activities outside the home, they were
12:37quite free; they could visit Buddhist
12:39temples, and caring for parents was the
12:41responsibility of both sons and
12:43daughters. Both daughters and sons
12:47received inheritance; in fact, there
12:49were kings who passed their throne to
12:52their daughter or their daughter's
12:54husband instead of giving it to their
12:56own son. Women could also remarry and
12:59participate in ancestor worship rituals
13:02. There was a very interesting custom
13:06called "chogaryeo" or "chinyeong": when
13:08a couple married, the man would move
13:10into the woman's house with her parents
13:13and live there until their child became
13:15an adult—the complete opposite of
13:17what Confucianism later thought
13:19regarding marriage. Korean Confucianism
13:24also had a whole culture of respect
13:25toward one's parents and elaborate
13:27rituals for when they passed away.
13:30Another of the highest virtues is
13:32filial piety, or "hyodo," which is a
13:34kind of love, obedience, and respect
13:36that sons and daughters owe their
13:38parents. Everything you do is to honor
13:41your parents; you study to make them
13:43proud, you don't do anything wrong so
13:45as not to disappoint them or let people
13:48point fingers at your parents. It's
13:50very common that if you do something
13:52wrong or get into trouble, elders will
13:54ask, "What family are you from?""Who is
13:57your father?" Getting married and
13:59giving your parents grandchildren is
14:01also part of that filial duty. Taking
14:04care of one's body is also part of
14:06filial love. Our body is like a gift
14:09given to us by our parents, which is
14:11why one could not cut their hair. This
14:14applied to both men and women, which is
14:16why they always kept their hair super
14:17long. Fingernails couldn't be cut and
14:20just thrown away either; you always had
14:23to save them and treat them with care
14:25because nails are also part of your
14:27body and are a gift your parents gave
14:30you. And when someone died, they would
14:34be buried along with pieces of their
14:36nails wrapped in paper, buried together
14:38. I mean, notice also that regarding
14:42the hair issue, there was a time when
14:45King Gojong had ordered and passed a
14:47law to cut his citizens 'hair, but the
14:49citizens would run away and didn't want
14:51to cut their hair because they felt
14:54they were dishonoring their parents,
14:56and they even preferred to die before
14:58having their hair cut. Well, and what
15:01happened when parents died? As always,
15:04there is a very detailed, very strict
15:07ritual. Someone in the family had to go
15:10up to the roof with the deceased's
15:12clothing and call out the name of the
15:14person who had died. They would invoke
15:17their name to call upon their spirit
15:20when a father or mother died; the
15:22children had to leave their jobs, set
15:25up a hut next to their parents' grave,
15:28and remain in mourning for 29 months,
15:30which could extend up to 3 years.
15:34During that time, they had to be in
15:36deep sorrow, they were not allowed to
15:39drink alcohol or eat meat, and they had
15:41to tend to the grave, offering food at
15:43night in front of the tomb as if the
15:46deceased were still alive. After those
15:49three years, it didn't end there. Every
15:52year without fail, you must venerate
15:54them and perform what is called
15:56ancestor worship, but it is not limited
15:58to your parents; you also have to pay
16:00tribute to your ancestors. This ritual
16:04was actually common in Korea for a long
16:06time, but well, with Confucianism, what
16:09they did was systematize it. You know I
16:12told you that in the homes of important
16:14families, the men's and women's
16:16quarters were separated. Well, they
16:19also had a special shrine in the house
16:22to pay tribute to their ancestors. And
16:26in the homes of ordinary people, since
16:28they couldn't afford that luxury, they
16:30dedicated a fixed, special space to be
16:32able to perform the worship. Nowadays,
16:36there are still families who continue
16:38to do this, but since it's impossible
16:41to hold a ceremony for every
16:43grandparent, father, great-grandfather,
16:46or great-grandmother, they simplify it
16:49by performing ancestor worship for all
16:52of them together at once. On special
16:56days like New Year's Day or
16:59Thanksgiving Day. Likewise, there are
17:01families who are very conservative and
17:04continue to hold vigils for their
17:05ancestors on their corresponding death
17:08anniversaries. Also, it is common to
17:10hold the rituals at night, as they
17:12believed that the spirits would visit
17:14their ritual tables. Veneration is
17:16performed up to the fourth generation,
17:18that is, for parents if they have
17:20passed away, grandparents,
17:21great-grandparents, and up to
17:23great-great-grandparents. Like that,
17:25four generations. It is not only male
17:27ancestors who are venerated; it also
17:29applies to women, grandmothers,
17:31great-grandmothers,
17:32great-great-grandmothers, and the
17:33mother. The truth is there are many
17:36other details I am not mentioning,
17:39because there are so many very specific
17:41things, but with these points, I think
17:43one realizes a lot of cultural aspects
17:46that are explained by Confucianism. It
17:49must be clarified that Korean
17:51Confucianism is quite distorted; it is
17:54not as original as it was, and Korea
17:56ended up being more Confucian than
17:59Confucius himself, who created it,
18:01although I won't blame it all on him.
18:05Well, in this video, I gave you a
18:07general idea of how Korean Confucianism
18:10influenced many things and perhaps even
18:13answers why you think or act a certain
18:16way without knowing that there were
18:18actually many customs and traditions
18:21practiced for thousands of years. If
18:25you liked the content, please leave a
18:28like and subscribe to the channel if
18:30you haven't already. Yes. Please press
18:34like and subscribe. Jjami. Hey.

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