L'arte SEGRETA ZEN di IGNORARE chi ti manca di rispetto | Buddismo — Transcript

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1. 0:00Someone recently disrespected you and
2. 0:02you’re still thinking about it? Maybe
3. 0:07it was a cutting comment said with a
4. 0:09smile in front of others. Maybe it was
5. 0:14a dismissive tone, as if you weren’t
6. 0:16worth their attention. Perhaps it is
7. 0:21someone who has been looking down on
8. 0:23you for years, a relative, a colleague,
9. 0:25or even a child who has now grown up.
10. 0:29And the most annoying part is this. As
11. 0:33soon as you try to respond, you seem
12. 0:36like the nervous, overreacting one.
13. 0:40They stay calm and you pass for the
14. 0:43wrong. Today, the Buddha teaches you an
15. 0:48ancient art, the art of ignoring. Not
16. 0:52the weakness of someone who takes it in
17. 0:54and keeps quiet out of fear, but the
18. 0:56quiet strength of someone who becomes
19. 0:58impossible to hurt. It’s an art made
20. 1:02up of precise movements and each of
21. 1:04these will take power away from the one
22. 1:06who has taken it away from you so far.
23. 1:09The fifth movement is the one that will
24. 1:12make you literally untouchable. Stay
25. 1:15with me until the end. Let’s begin.
26. 1:21First movement. When someone offends
27. 1:24you, remember who that poison belongs
28. 1:26to. One day a man came before the
29. 1:30Buddha and began to insult him angrily
30. 1:33in front of everyone. The Buddha let
31. 1:37him finish in silence. Then he asked
32. 1:40him just one question. Tell me, if you
33. 1:43prepare a gift for someone and that
34. 1:46person does not accept it, who gets the
35. 1:49gift? The man, taken aback, replied: "
36. 1:53It remains with me who brought it, and
37. 1:56the Buddha with us:" Here, I will not
38. 2:00accept your insult, it remains yours,
39. 2:04you can take it home with you. "This is
40. 2:09the first and most powerful movement in
41. 2:11the art of ignoring. An offense is like
42. 2:14a package that someone tries to deliver
43. 2:17to you. If you take it in hand, if you
44. 2:20get upset, if you brood over it, if you
45. 2:23respond angrily, that package becomes
46. 2:26yours and you poison yourself with its
47. 2:29contents. But if you do not accept it,
48. 2:33if you remain still and centered, the
49. 2:35package remains in the hands of the one
50. 2:38who brought it to you, and the one who
51. 2:40disrespected you finds himself alone
52. 2:42with his poison in his hands, not
53. 2:45knowing what to do with it. From now on
54. 2:48, when someone disrespects you, do not
55. 2:51think about how I will respond. Think,
56. 2:55this is not mine, I will not accept it
57. 2:57and leave it to the one who offered it
58. 3:00to you. But in order not to accept that
59. 3:04package, you must first understand
60. 3:06something about the one who offers it
61. 3:08to you, and it is something that
62. 3:09changes everything. Second movement.
63. 3:14The one who disrespects you is showing
64. 3:17you his wound, Not yours. Think about
65. 3:21it for a moment. Does a serene person,
66. 3:25at peace with themselves, feel the need
67. 3:28to humiliate others? Never. Those who
68. 3:32are happy inside have no interest in
69. 3:35making you feel small. Those who treat
70. 3:39you with contempt, on the other hand,
71. 3:42almost always carry something inside
72. 3:44that they have not resolved, an envy
73. 3:47that they do not confess, a frustration
74. 3:50that they do not know where to vent, a
75. 3:52life in which they feel powerless and
76. 3:55look for the only place with you where
77. 3:58they can feel superior for a moment.
78. 4:02The Buddha taught us to look at the
79. 4:05suffering behind behavior. That
80. 4:09colleague who belittles you perhaps
81. 4:10fears that they are worth less than you
82. 4:12. That relative who treats you badly
83. 4:16may be unhappy in a way that you do not
84. 4:18imagine. Not to justify them. A reason
85. 4:23is not an excuse, but to understand
86. 4:26something that frees you. What they
87. 4:29tell you is not a measure of how much
88. 4:32you are worth, it is a measure of how
89. 4:35bad they are feeling. The next time
90. 4:41that someone shows you a lack of
91. 4:42respect, try your best not to feel
92. 4:44judged. Try for a moment to see them as
93. 4:48a person who is suffering and who, not
94. 4:51knowing what to do with their pain,
95. 4:53takes it out on you. Change everything
96. 4:57because you do not You defend yourself
97. 5:00more than a judge, you observe a person
98. 5:03in difficulty from a distance and this
99. 5:06brings us to the most difficult
100. 5:08movement, the one that almost everyone
101. 5:11gets wrong. Third movement, the
102. 5:14reaction they get out of you is exactly
103. 5:18the power you give them. There is
104. 5:22something that those who disrespect you
105. 5:24are looking for even without knowing it
106. 5:27. Your reaction, your behaving, your
107. 5:31raising your voice, your justifying
108. 5:34yourself, your feeling bad. That
109. 5:38reaction is proof that they have
110. 5:41reached you, it is the signal that the
111. 5:45blow has hit home and you offer it to
112. 5:48them for free every time you bite.
113. 5:52Imagine having a remote control in your
114. 5:54hand that controls your mood. Every
115. 5:58time you react to a provocation, you
116. 6:00are passing that remote control to the
117. 6:03other person. You are telling them:"
118. 6:06Press here and I will get angry. "Press
119. 6:09here and I'll ruin my day." People who
120. 6:13disrespect you learn quickly how to
121. 6:16press you, and the more you react, the
122. 6:19more they'll continue because they've
123. 6:21found a way to boss you around. The Zen
124. 6:25art of ignoring and taking that remote
125. 6:29control out of their hands. Not with an
126. 6:32effort of suppressed anger. That's
127. 6:35obvious and feeds them anyway, but with
128. 6:39a true calm that comes from the first
129. 6:42and second movements. This isn't mine
130. 6:45and it's about them. When you stop
131. 6:48reacting, you're not taking it, you're
132. 6:51taking back control, and the person in
133. 6:54front of you who was pressing the
134. 6:56buttons waiting for the shock finds
135. 6:59themselves in front of a blank screen.
136. 7:04There's no more disappointing sight for
137. 7:07someone who provokes you than someone
138. 7:09who simply won't turn on. But not
139. 7:13reacting doesn't mean sitting there and
140. 7:16taking it. There's a way to take away
141. 7:19the last thing they're looking for.
142. 7:22Fourth movement. Those who provoke you
143. 7:26need an audience. Don't be their
144. 7:28audience. Many acts of disrespect
145. 7:32aren't really directed at you. They're
146. 7:35a performance done for others. The
147. 7:38colleagues who watch, the relatives who
148. 7:41table, the people present. Those who
149. 7:44tease you in public often don’t want
150. 7:47to hurt you, they want to appear
151. 7:49superior in front of an audience. You
152. 7:52are just the backdrop on which they act
153. 7:54. And so the art lies in removing the
154. 7:58stage, not getting involved in the act,
155. 8:00not giving the joke that is waiting for
156. 8:02it. A calm smile and a change of
157. 8:05subject take away more strength than a
158. 8:08thousand brilliant answers. Okay, said
159. 8:12calmly and we’ll move on. You’re
160. 8:16not losing, you’re refusing to get on
161. 8:18a stage that someone else has set up to
162. 8:21humiliate you. And there’s an even
163. 8:26deeper way of removing the audience:
164. 8:28stop telling yourself the scene over
165. 8:30and over again when you’re alone,
166. 8:33because the most affectionate audience
167. 8:35of the person who offended you is often
168. 8:38you. The one who replays the insult 10
169. 8:43times in the evening, who imagines what
170. 8:45he should have said in response, who
171. 8:47keeps the wound alive by going over it
172. 8:49again. When you stop being the internal
173. 8:54audience of that scene, the insult
174. 8:57loses the last place in which it could
175. 9:00still live and finally dies out. And
176. 9:05now comes the movement you were waiting
177. 9:08for, the one that makes you untouchable
178. 9:11. Fifth movement, do not respond at the
179. 9:15same level. Respond from a higher level
180. 9:18. There is a silent law that governs
181. 9:21these clashes. He who lowers himself
182. 9:24loses. The moment you respond to one
183. 9:27meanness with another meanness, to a
184. 9:29contemptuous tone with a contemptuous
185. 9:32tone, you have descended onto their
186. 9:34ground and on that ground the one who
187. 9:37is more accustomed to being there,
188. 9:39namely them, wins. The Buddha did not
189. 9:43teach how to fight better, he taught
190. 9:46not to go down to the battlefield at
191. 9:48all. Raising your value, not your voice
192. 9:52, means this: responding to smallness
193. 9:55of spirit with a sense of calm
194. 9:57greatness. To those who provoke you
195. 10:00with vulgarity, respond with composure.
196. 10:03To those who try to drag you into a
197. 10:05fight, respond with dignity. Not to
198. 10:09lecture them. Flaunting moral
199. 10:11superiority is just another way of
200. 10:14taking the field, but because that is
201. 10:16the person you want to be. Regardless
202. 10:19of how other people choose to behave,
203. 10:22there was a teacher who was provoked
204. 10:24every single day by a villager who
205. 10:26would constantly shower him with cruel
206. 10:28words while walking along the path. The
207. 10:32teacher always responded with a polite
208. 10:34bow. and continued. An indignant
209. 10:38student asked him: "How can you not
210. 10:41react?" He humiliates you in front of
211. 10:42everyone. "The master smiled. He brings
212. 10:47me his gift every day. Every day I
213. 10:50choose not to take it. His path becomes
214. 10:54increasingly difficult, mine remains
215. 10:56light. Which of the two is humiliated
216. 10:59in the long run? That's why this
217. 11:02movement makes you untouchable. Those
218. 11:05who can't drag you down have no power
219. 11:07over you. You can be insulted and
220. 11:11remain whole, you can be provoked and
221. 11:14remain at peace. And a person you can't
222. 11:18bring down is a person you simply can't
223. 11:22hurt. There remains one last question,
224. 11:25the most concrete one. And when is
225. 11:28ignoring no longer enough? Sixth
226. 11:31movement. Ignoring does not mean
227. 11:34putting up with it forever. Be careful
228. 11:37not to make it clear why it is
229. 11:38important. The art of ignoring is not
230. 11:42an invitation to stay by the side of
231. 11:43someone who tramples on you, smiling as
232. 11:46they ruin you. Ignoring small daily
233. 11:49provocations is wisdom, but when the
234. 11:52disrespect is constant, profound and
235. 11:55comes from someone who has a place in
236. 11:58your life, the most Zen movement of all
237. 12:01is not to ignore it again, it is to
238. 12:03distance yourself. The Buddha taught
239. 12:08compassion, never Submission. You can
240. 12:12have an open heart and still decide who
241. 12:14deserves to be around you. There are
242. 12:18people from whom the healthiest thing
243. 12:21to do is simply to walk away, reduce
244. 12:23opportunities, raise boundaries, stop
245. 12:26giving access to your life to those who
246. 12:29treat it as worthless. It’s not
247. 12:33resentment, it’s respect for yourself
248. 12:36. So keep the two together for passing
249. 12:41provocations. For those looking for a
250. 12:44momentary jolt, ignore, don’t accept
251. 12:47the package, don’t get on stage, stay
252. 12:50on top. But for those who have made a
253. 12:54habit of showing you a lack of respect,
254. 12:56the door can just as easily close, and
255. 12:58that is perfectly fine. Protecting your
256. 13:02own peace is never a lack of kindness;
257. 13:04it is, in fact, the highest form of
258. 13:07kindness you can show towards yourself.
259. 13:10Now I’d like to read your story in
260. 13:12the comments. Tell me honestly, is
261. 13:15there one person you will stop giving
262. 13:18your reaction to from today? Which of
263. 13:21these six movements did you need to
264. 13:23hear the most? Write it down below.
265. 13:26This community is full of good people
266. 13:28who have learned, often at great cost,
267. 13:31the value of their peace. If this video
268. 13:35has given you a little bit of strength,
269. 13:36Subscribe to the channel. Every week
270. 13:38the master is waiting for you with a
271. 13:40new teaching that is meant to protect
272. 13:42your serenity. See you soon and
273. 13:45remember Buddha blesses you.