Kelly Clarkson’s Bizarre Public Feud with Brooklyn Novelty Store — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:00Two one of the wildest,
2. 0:03funniest, stupidest celebrity dust-ups
3. 0:08in recent memory and it's dominating
4. 0:10headlines, dominating them. Kelly
5. 0:13Clarkson
6. 0:15is in an ongoing fight
7. 0:18with a toy store in Brooklyn.
8. 0:24And nobody can quite figure out what
9. 0:26it's really about, but I'm pretty sure I
10. 0:29can guess. Now, we're going to go
11. 0:31through this
12. 0:32chronologically, so we're all oriented.
13. 0:35We're all coming at it from the same
14. 0:37place. Okay.
15. 0:39On October 10th, on Sunday,
16. 0:41Kelly Clarkson,
17. 0:43this is her post on X.
18. 0:46Just drove all the way to Brooklyn to
19. 0:48check out this store I thought looked
20. 0:50really rad.
21. 0:52Kelly's That's the first tell. She's
22. 0:54using the word rad.
23. 0:56Nobody uses the word rad, Kelly.
24. 0:58Nobody. Not since 1982.
25. 1:01Looked really rad and had a few things
26. 1:04in mind to buy and literally was looked
27. 1:06at as if I couldn't afford it and was
28. 1:08told he, the salesperson, could find
29. 1:11something comparable for me. Wow, dude,
30. 1:14you're an idiot and just lost a huge
31. 1:16sale, but y'all should go check out Art
32. 1:18of Play in Brooklyn if you enjoy being
33. 1:20treated like Julia Roberts' character in
34. 1:22Pretty Woman. Also, um the Grammarion
35. 1:25and Me, I must Kelly, you should have
36. 1:26had a possessive apostrophe after the S
37. 1:29in Roberts. Uh for sure check it out
38. 1:32thumbs down a emoji. Now, an account
39. 1:35that goes by Cash Deplorable reposts Art
40. 1:39of Play's response to Kelly's initial
41. 1:42post on X. And this went up on October
42. 1:4511th. Again, this is Art of Play's
43. 1:47official response to Kelly Clarkson's
44. 1:50allegation.
45. 1:53Yesterday, Kelly Clarkson visited us in
46. 1:55Brooklyn and inquired about buying
47. 1:57Molly,
48. 1:58a one-of-a-kind singing and dancing bird
49. 2:02automaton who plays an important role in
50. 2:04the magic shows we host here. Molly is
51. 2:07permanently attached to the wall and
52. 2:10isn't for sale.
53. 2:13However, the negative experience Kelly
54. 2:15described on Twitter naming X, and
55. 2:17again, their
56. 2:18grammar's off. Twitter should be capped,
57. 2:22whatever. It's but it's now X, whatever.
58. 2:25Would resonate with anyone who has ever
59. 2:27felt judged in a shop.
60. 2:29At Art of Play, whether someone comes in
61. 2:32to make a purchase or simply look around
62. 2:35for a while, they are equally welcome.
63. 2:37We greet everyone who walks in the door
64. 2:39with the invitation to quote, "Pick
65. 2:41things up and play." End quote. And they
66. 2:43do.
67. 2:44Many stay for hours enjoying our
68. 2:46puzzles, games, and toys. Imagine our
69. 2:49surprise. This is a very lengthy
70. 2:51explanation. Know what I'm saying?
71. 2:53Imagine our surprise when our small
72. 2:56local business, little old us,
73. 2:59was suddenly attacked by 8 million
74. 3:01people who have never visited our store.
75. 3:04It's been a surreal experience to be the
76. 3:06focus of such widespread outrage after
77. 3:09just one mention by a celebrity.
78. 3:12They sound very excited by this, and
79. 3:13they should be.
80. 3:15Thanks to all our friends for their
81. 3:17support.
82. 3:18It's a very trying time.
83. 3:20My side. And welcome to all the curious
84. 3:23folks who have discovered us amidst the
85. 3:25drama.
86. 3:26We're going to keep our heads down and
87. 3:28hopefully we can clear things up with
88. 3:29Kelly someday. As a talented popular
89. 3:31singer once said, quote, "What doesn't
90. 3:33kill you makes you stronger."
91. 3:36End quote.
92. 3:37Now that is a kicker. That is a kicker.
93. 3:40That That was a great line.
94. 3:44What that is is some Brooklyn
95. 3:46shade, okay?
96. 3:47And I say this is somebody who
97. 3:50lived in Williamsburg, Brooklyn
98. 3:53for decades. Okay, I I got there when it
99. 3:55was
100. 3:57a
101. 3:58like there were tumbleweeds
102. 4:00rolling down the street. It was like
103. 4:01drugs and sex workers on Wythe Avenue.
104. 4:04You didn't dare near go down near the
105. 4:06water after sunset. And now it's all
106. 4:09Chanel, Hermes, and Harry Styles Styles
107. 4:11has moved in.
108. 4:13You know, so I've seen it all and I'm
109. 4:14going to I'm going to break down what
110. 4:16this is for you, okay? Semantically what
111. 4:18they're doing and all the little subtext
112. 4:20underneath it. Now on October 11th, Art
113. 4:23of Play felt they needed to
114. 4:25clarify even further.
115. 4:28Do you know what I mean?
116. 4:29They are loving this because this is the
117. 4:32most free publicity any small business
118. 4:36could hope for. The most. It's great for
119. 4:39them. They're effing loving this.
120. 4:43They're loving it. Okay, we'd like to
121. 4:45clarify some additional details about
122. 4:47Kelly Clarkson's visit to our curiosity
123. 4:50shop on Saturday.
124. 4:52During the 5 minutes she spent in the
125. 4:54store, she inquired about our mechanical
126. 4:57bird puppet named Molly. Yes, we know,
127. 4:58established. Asked and answered. We
128. 5:01explained that while Molly is
129. 5:02permanently attached to the wall and
130. 5:04serves as a de facto mascot for our
131. 5:08shop, a nearly identical automaton is
132. 5:11owned by the creator of the machines, a
133. 5:13brilliant artist named Bliss Kolb who
134. 5:17lives in Seattle. You mean this person
135. 5:19doesn't live in Portland? They live in
136. 5:20Seattle. Bliss Kolb.
137. 5:23He told us he would be willing to part
138. 5:25with Molly's twin for $15,000.
139. 5:29Now this is meant, I think, to clear up
140. 5:31that there is a an existing photo of
141. 5:35the bird stuck to the wall. I mean, it's
142. 5:38an episode of Portlandia. You know what
143. 5:39I mean? Put a bird on it. A bird
144. 5:42stuck to the wall with a price tag that
145. 5:45says $15,000. And Kelly clearly saw that
146. 5:49and was like, "Hey, this bird is for for
147. 5:51sale for 15 grand. I want to buy it."
148. 5:53And then some, I guarantee you super
149. 5:56silly as who works at
150. 5:59that store was like, "Sorry, we just
151. 6:01can't do it. We can't do it. No, that's
152. 6:03not for sale. I know it looks like it's
153. 6:05for sale, but it's not. You don't
154. 6:07understand. You're not from around these
155. 6:09parts, are you?
156. 6:10You're not from Brooklyn. You're not
157. 6:12like
158. 6:13You're clearly not a hipster. Like
159. 6:15you're Kelly Clarkson.
160. 6:17You're like a square. You're not cool,
161. 6:20right? So, um no, but you know, and they
162. 6:24probably, you know, we're like there's
163. 6:27some other guy Maybe they explained it.
164. 6:29Who knows? She probably got upset
165. 6:31because she thought she was being
166. 6:32treated like she wasn't cool enough to
167. 6:34be in that store. I guarantee you that's
168. 6:36what happened.
169. 6:37That's the currency of Brooklyn. Are you
170. 6:39cool? Are you cool coming through our
171. 6:41door? You're And And by the way, if
172. 6:44you're not cool, if you're like
173. 6:45multicultural or you're wearing some
174. 6:47kind of garb that identifies you with
175. 6:50oppressed people, then you're also cool.
176. 6:53You can come on in. Come on in. But if
177. 6:55you're Kelly Clarkson who hosts like a
178. 6:57wholesome daily talk show and like
179. 6:59you're a pop singer and it doesn't
180. 7:01matter that like super cool bands and
181. 7:03musicians have covered like Since U Been
182. 7:05Gone, which is really one of the
183. 7:07greatest pop songs of the modern age, I
184. 7:09think. Her delivery is incredible. Um
185. 7:12they're they're they're like
186. 7:15Please leave. Please leave. And um you
187. 7:18may have more money than we could ever
188. 7:19dream of, but we will not deign to sell
189. 7:22this to you. Honestly, if it was
190. 7:24somebody they loved, like if it
191. 7:26was somebody who walked in like Lena
192. 7:28Dunham
193. 7:30and she wanted to buy it, you know what
194. 7:31they would have done? They would have
195. 7:32said, "You know, this one's not for
196. 7:33sale, but um it turns out we we know the
197. 7:37artist and there's another one on the
198. 7:39West Coast and And you want to buy this
199. 7:41one, um
200. 7:42and maybe like, you know, we'll tag us,
201. 7:45you'll tag you, whatever, whatever.
202. 7:48We'll just We'll just order the other
203. 7:49one from him and then put it back on the
204. 7:51wall. You know,
205. 7:52Kelly Clarkson's big sin here is that
206. 7:54she's not Lena Dunham.
207. 7:57That's your sin, sister. That's your
208. 7:58sin.
209. 7:59Just stay on your side of the river.
210. 8:01Don't bother going to Brooklyn. They're
211. 8:03not your people. If it had been Harry
212. 8:05Styles, they would have sold it to Harry
213. 8:06Styles. Trust. Trust.
214. 8:09Continuing from Art of Play's latest
215. 8:12explanation here, we also offered
216. 8:15See how much they're enjoying this? We
217. 8:16also offered to show her a different
218. 8:18singing bird automaton made by a
219. 8:20traditional clock-making shop in
220. 8:22Germany. This is so Brooklyn.
221. 8:25Berliniumsburg, okay? That she could
222. 8:27have taken home with her that day. It
223. 8:29cost about $2,000. She did not
224. 8:32stick around long enough to see it.
225. 8:35We've reached out to Kelly directly to
226. 8:37try and clear the air. We really do wish
227. 8:40her the best.
228. 8:41They do not.
229. 8:43And hope that someday we can all laugh
230. 8:44about this misunderstanding. Kelly
231. 8:46clapped back on X on October 11th. Her
232. 8:49second response to Art of Play, and I
233. 8:51read verbatim, "Cool. Cool. Sure, it
234. 8:55wasn't for sale. That's the narrative
235. 8:57Art of Play is going to go with." Thumbs
236. 8:58up emoji. "So, the whole conversation we
237. 9:01had when I asked you if it was for sale
238. 9:03whilst pointing to the price tag."
239. 9:05Whilst, that's a cute touch. "Pointing
240. 9:08to the price tag hanging on the wall
241. 9:10with the title 'Singing Bird' didn't
242. 9:13happen as you elevator-eyed me saying in
243. 9:16a condescending tone, 'Yes, it's for
244. 9:18sale, but it costs $15,000. So, if you'd
245. 9:21like me to find something comparable for
246. 9:22you, I can.'" Close quote. May I ask
247. 9:25if we can just pause for a moment. This
248. 9:28is why I believe
249. 9:30Kelly's version of events. She uses the
250. 9:32phrase
251. 9:33which I've never heard before, and I
252. 9:34love it. You elevator-eyed me, meaning
253. 9:37you looked me up and down. You looked me
254. 9:39up and down, up and down.
255. 9:42I guarantee you that happened. I
256. 9:44guarantee you they were taking in the
257. 9:45entire taxonomy of what Kelly was
258. 9:48wearing. Were the labels cool enough?
259. 9:51That like she looks familiar. She is She
260. 9:54isn't She's not She doesn't have any
261. 9:56edge. She doesn't have any edge. Um
262. 9:59and said in a condescending tone, again.
263. 10:02Very hipster Brooklyn. Very hipster
264. 10:04Brooklyn.
265. 10:06If you're not part of their tribe,
266. 10:08they'll let you know.
267. 10:09Um okay, continuing from Kelly's post.
268. 10:11That all never happened and now it's not
269. 10:14for sale. Okay, cool. So, you're not
270. 10:16only rude, you're also a liar. Got it.
271. 10:18Check mark. And by the way, I obviously
272. 10:20support small businesses because I was
273. 10:22literally at a small business trying to
274. 10:24purchase things. I love small businesses
275. 10:27and know they are important and I always
276. 10:28support them, but you don't get a free
277. 10:30pass to treat people less than in your
278. 10:33store. Sorry. Treat people less than in
279. 10:35your store just because you are a small
280. 10:37business. It's not that hard to be kind.
281. 10:40I never blast people, but you, my
282. 10:42friend, were an exception. Your store is
283. 10:44really cool. Unfortunately, you aren't.
284. 10:48And here we are full screening
285. 10:50the photo of the price tag next to the
286. 10:55bird in question.
287. 10:57So, you know, I love this dustup. I love
288. 11:00it. For now, based on the evidence
289. 11:02before me, if I'm going to appoint
290. 11:04myself in in interim judge in this
291. 11:07criminal cultural court of law, I'm so
292. 11:10I'm I'm I'm ruling for for Kelly
293. 11:12Clarkson. I'm ruling for her.
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