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Katey Sagal (Full Episode) | Where Everybody Knows Your Name — Transcript

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0:00I just love that we're doing this cuz
0:02>> pretty fun.
0:03>> Yeah, for people just tuning in,
0:05beginning, uh you and I are
0:08not about to, we've started working
0:10together on a new show for Apple.
0:13>> Yes.
0:13>> The Elizabeth Banks project.
0:15>> Right.
0:16>> A rowdy
0:17>> I thought it was the Ted Danson.
0:18>> No. No.
0:20I told you that, I know. I'm sorry, but
0:22that was just to try to, you [laughter]
0:24know, impress you. Um
0:26Yeah, it's I I called Liz,
0:30uh our, you know, leader, writer,
0:32creator.
0:33It said well
0:35I've been saying it's like Modern Family
0:37on acid, which is not a great way to
0:39describe it, but it is a rowdy
0:41>> It's rowdy.
0:42>> Yeah, comedy.
0:43Rowdy, underlined two or three times.
0:46>> I really
0:48I can't wait to get way in because we're
0:50just start we've just started, so.
0:53>> Yeah.
0:54You and I did a lot of it was a lot of
0:56group
0:58acting the first
1:00the first week.
1:01>> A lot of face acting.
1:03>> Yes.
1:03>> Reacting in a crowd. [clears throat]
1:05>> yes.
1:07I don't know.
1:08>> [gasps]
1:09>> I don't think you did it as much as I
1:10do, but when I'm in the background with
1:13no words, but supposed to be alive and
1:15present in the moment, I am become the
1:18world's worst mime.
1:21Where I just everything is way too large
1:24and you know
1:25>> I thought you were very funny. I thought
1:27you were and definitely present.
1:29>> Yeah.
1:29>> I thought, I'm going to take a few
1:31lessons from Ted over here.
1:33>> Oh boy.
1:33>> Crowd acting.
1:35>> You and I probably would never really
1:37have gotten together in life because I
1:39think we're
1:40similar in many ways, but uh you're
1:43magnificent. I'm so excited to get to
1:46know you in this way. I would never go
1:48out
1:49and have a beer with well, for sure with
1:52you, a beer with you. But even have a
1:55sandwich because I'm shy and I go home
1:57to Mary cuz that's where my goodies are.
2:00>> Aw, that's so sweet.
2:02>> I get to
2:04hang with you today and I get to really
2:06hang with you and work together.
2:09>> Yes.
2:09>> Hopefully for a long time.
2:11>> Are you Are you kind of reclusive? Is
2:13that what you're saying? A little bit?
2:15>> I I I I
2:17>> Like my husband is that way as well.
2:18>> I I listened to your husband a little
2:20bit. Um
2:21I like him. He's a manly manly cream
2:24puff.
2:25>> 100%.
2:27He was going to come today just to meet
2:29you and say hello and then he literally
2:31called me 15 minutes ago and said, "I
2:32really don't feel well. I just can't."
2:35Which is like the cream puff side. He's
2:36fine. He He just like He doesn't love
2:39leaving the house.
2:41>> Yeah, I'm not quite
2:43reckless. I I've said this before on
2:45this show, but it's like
2:48if it's not with Mary, it's slightly and
2:50this sounds like I'm trying to
2:52you know, get an aw, but it's beside the
2:55point. You know, life's a little little
2:58See, I got one. It's Women love it when
3:01I talk like this.
3:02Mary accuses me of talking like this
3:04purposefully knowing that it's
3:06you know, it's good for me.
3:08>> But
3:09it's kind of true. When she leaves, my
3:11endorphins crash so and so do our dogs.
3:15We both sit around moping when she's
3:16gone.
3:18But it's just because the we have so
3:20much fun together. It's not like I'm
3:21depressed, but it's just different. It's
3:23a little grayer.
3:25>> Aw.
3:25>> home tonight, so I'm very excited.
3:27>> Where was she was gone?
3:29>> Yeah, you
3:30>> How did her thing What a minute. I know
3:32I'm jumping ahead. Nobody knows this.
3:34But how did her singing situation go the
3:36other night? You were on your way to a
3:38thing.
3:39>> Yeah, it was a It was she calls it the
3:42please vote for me tour. The beginning
3:44of you know, you getting out in the
3:46world when it's award season. And she
3:48and her co-writes from Nash co-writers
3:51from Nashville um and several people
3:54here in LA wrote a song that she sang as
3:58a character in um, a man on the inside.
4:02>> Oh, all right.
4:03>> So, it it it was lovely and she co-wrote
4:05it and, um, sang it. And so, this was a
4:10group this event she went to of
4:13composers.
4:15>> Oh.
4:15>> Who were getting their music out in the
4:17world.
4:19And but it was held in an,
4:21uh,
4:22I wish I could remember the name of
4:24this, but it's it's now in a big
4:25building and they have different rooms
4:28doing all sorts of symposiums and things
4:30like that, but it was started in
4:31somebody's living room of composers and
4:35song and music people to support each
4:38other. It was like a support group that
4:40expe- expanded. So, here were all these
4:42people who were probably will compete in
4:45some way
4:46for awards from their music.
4:49So supportive.
4:50>> Yeah, that's musicians.
4:51>> Yeah.
4:52>> Musicians are very supportive.
4:54>> there was, uh, 16, maybe, larger you
4:58know, orchestra?
4:59>> Wow.
5:00>> Horns, violins, cellos, you know,
5:02everything. Um, E Pluribus, that guy who
5:06wrote the music for that.
5:08>> Oh, okay.
5:08>> was a choral group there as well. So, it
5:11was such a musical evening and at the
5:13end she got up. She was the only singer,
5:15got up and sang the song and people were
5:17so supportive. It was a lovely evening.
5:20>> I'm telling you, the music community
5:22which I
5:24started my that's where I come from
5:27is is is that way. Is that way. And I
5:30don't know that I mean, I'm sure
5:32I I find the acting community a little
5:34doggy-dog compared to that. I mean, it's
5:37sort of I don't that's just my
5:39experience, but I I love to hear that
5:41that's what's going on.
5:43>> I'll have to admit that a lot of our
5:45friends, we have great friends here in
5:47this community.
5:49But we have
5:51we made so many great friends from her
5:53music in Nashville. I mean
5:56just, you know, who who know our dogs
5:58and kids names, you know, which is
6:00>> And don't forget them.
6:01>> Yeah, yeah. I love our community here.
6:04So I I but it is it is different because
6:07music's different.
6:08>> Yes.
6:09>> You know.
6:09>> Yes, it is.
6:11>> I've been listening to you sing a lot.
6:12>> Oh, okay.
6:13>> Googling and
6:15you know, YouTubing you like crazy.
6:18Um
6:19I started just when I found out we were
6:20going to work together. But wow, what a
6:23wonderful voice you have and you are a
6:26professional real deal singer and that's
6:28how you started, right?
6:30>> I started and that was the goal.
6:33And uh yeah, since I was a kid, that was
6:36my first entree into any kind of social
6:39life. I was completely
6:41terrified of people.
6:43But I remember learning how to play the
6:45guitar when I was 10. My mother taught
6:48me how to play
6:49>> Because
6:50>> the folk guitar
6:51>> Was also a singer.
6:52>> She was a singer.
6:54And I remember all through school, I
6:56would just bring my guitar where I if I
6:58remember going to a girl scout meeting
7:00and them making me leave the room
7:03because I had to have my guitar with I
7:05mean it was kind of like this sad but it
7:07was my
7:08it was my entree. It was my
7:10>> Yeah.
7:11>> my safe place. So yes, music is what
7:14I've known the best for most of my life.
7:18>> When did you first sing professionally?
7:22>> I got into a band when I was well, I
7:26went on the road when I was 18 in a rock
7:30musical. I was a chorus girl in the rock
7:34and roll version of two gentlemen of
7:35Verona.
7:37That was my first pro singing job and
7:39then And there I was like I was a
7:41singing waitress. That was kind They
7:43paid me to sing.
7:44>> Where
7:45>> [laughter]
7:45>> Where was this?
7:46>> There was a restaurant in Santa Monica
7:47called The Great American Food and
7:49Beverage Company.
7:50>> Right.
7:50>> And you had to audition to to get a job
7:53there. Like Danny Elfman started there,
7:55Rickie Lee Jones started there. A bunch
7:57of people
7:58that were around We were all coming up
8:01together and you'd go in. I was a
8:02horrible waitress, but I could play my
8:05guitar, play the piano, and sing, and
8:08make really good tips. So, that was the
8:10gimmick of the restaurant. There were
8:12jugglers and magicians and
8:14>> Who would take your order, go deliver
8:17it, pick up some balls and juggle or
8:19sing a song.
8:20>> Yes. Yes. That was the whole
8:22And it was kind of It was around for
8:24about 10, 15 years. Like people would
8:27come and go and you know, so I had sort
8:31of a solid gig there and then from
8:33there,
8:34I got into a band. I got a record deal
8:37at Casablanca Records and then Elektra
8:39Records. I mean, things were happening.
8:42And then but I'd always come back to the
8:43restaurant cuz I couldn't make a living
8:45living until I started working as a
8:47background singer. And then that is when
8:50I
8:51So, the answer to the question is I
8:52started professionally, I guess, when I
8:54was about 18, 19.
8:57And when they actually would pay me to
8:59to sing. So.
9:01And then, you know, from there I just
9:04I kept making records. I never wanted to
9:06be in the background, but it really paid
9:09my bills. So, I'd go on and off the road
9:12with various people and I'd do session
9:14work in town, but I'm a terrible reader.
9:17I don't read music. I just have a really
9:19good ear.
9:21So, as long as they would put me in the
9:22middle section,
9:24I could hear my part. So, I bluffed my
9:27way through all of that.
9:29And this was also in the days when there
9:30were publishing deals where songwriters
9:33would write songs and then they'd need
9:35somebody to demo the song so they could
9:37sell it so I did a lot of that.
9:39>> Right. Right.
9:40>> Yeah.
9:42>> Boy, it's changed a lot, hasn't it?
9:44>> Oh my god, it's really
9:46>> demonetized
9:48by what was the invention that came out
9:51and all of a sudden everyone could
9:52download whatever they wanted.
9:54>> Napster, Napster, yeah. I mean, I watch
9:58now my um my older kids
10:01are both musicians and actors and my one
10:04my old this daughter just has made the
10:06most beautiful record that she wrote and
10:09produced and she's amazing. And just to
10:12see the process of how you have to be
10:14able to market yourself now. Like where
10:17labels used to you know, you'd have to
10:19pay them back but they'd give you money
10:21so that you could you know, just be an
10:24artist and just sell and they do all the
10:26selling. And now it's just a very
10:28different world for young artists.
10:32Hard. I mean, on the acting side, too.
10:34>> Can I this is a parenthesis but I wanted
10:37to share this with you cuz I think you'd
10:39be interested that there's a group of
10:42ladies artists out of Nashville put
10:45together something called Mother.
10:47And they go around singing and
10:50performing but the idea is to raise
10:53money consciousness on how hard it is
10:57when you're an artist and then you have
10:59a child.
11:00>> Oh.
11:00>> You know.
11:01>> Yeah.
11:01>> And do you tour anymore? What do you
11:04have a babysitters who are allowed you
11:06know, some support system cuz it's very
11:10hard to be a mother and an artist.
11:14>> It absolutely is.
11:15>> So anyway, keep your eye out for it.
11:17It's
11:18a fledgling group that's pretty cool.
11:20>> I love that. That's a really good
11:22support to to have.
11:24>> Yeah.
11:24>> Do they watch each other's kids?
11:26>> I don't know yet enough about it. Mary
11:29was was friends with several of them but
11:32Yeah.
11:32>> I spent some time in Nashville. I I had
11:34a house in Leiper's Fork when it was
11:37>> Yeah, what a great
11:38>> It was great, but it was when I bought
11:40there, it was like 25 years ago. It was
11:42cheap, nobody was there. And
11:45I've watched the community kind of and I
11:47tried to sort of plug myself in down
11:49there musically, but it was a very
11:51different approach than I
11:54was used to in terms of songwriting and
11:57it was kind of like you'd go in and by
11:58the end of the day you had a song
12:00written.
12:00>> Oh, a factory.
12:01>> And a it was like a factory.
12:02>> But not a bad factory, but definitely
12:05>> But it was it was weird for me a little
12:08bit just cuz I had I was not used to
12:10that process and
12:12plus I'm not really a country singer, so
12:14I and this is before
12:16everything expanded to where now you
12:17don't have to be a country singer.
12:19>> Yeah, it's
12:20every musician great musician in the
12:22world is now there.
12:23>> Yeah, I was down there when Waylon
12:25Jennings was down there and they were
12:27telling him he was an outlaw. They were
12:29like that community was so tight. They
12:32were, you know, they barely let Waylon
12:34in cuz he was from Texas. So [laughter]
12:37um
12:37but yeah, it's
12:38>> Waylon's not country
12:40>> not wasn't country enough.
12:41Apparently, you know, so
12:43>> Yeah.
12:44>> It's a great community.
12:46>> So so you're surrounded like you were by
12:49creativity. You're now are your kids
12:52around you or are they off?
12:54>> Oh, no, they're all here. Well, my son
12:58is now he's he's doing quite well as an
13:01actor. He's in Australia right now
13:02making a movie,
13:04but he's on a television show called
13:05Tell Me Lies on Hulu
13:08and they just finished their third
13:09season. So he
13:11yeah, he just kind of blew up my my
13:14sweet son.
13:15And uh but they all live in LA. My
13:17daughter lives, you know, 10 minutes
13:19from me and
13:21and uh
13:22my youngest one is 19 and she's home
13:25from college.
13:27So um yeah, they're all awesome.
13:29>> their Do you get to be around their
13:31creative process or is that kind of
13:33stuff
13:34>> my way in.
13:35>> Yeah.
13:35>> No, I Yes, I do and some what I've
13:39really learned lately is
13:41to say things like, I have some thoughts
13:43about that. Would you like to hear it?
13:45>> Yeah.
13:46>> [laughter]
13:47>> And then if they say, No, Mom, I don't
13:49want to hear it. Then I I have to follow
13:51suit.
13:52>> Yeah, yeah.
13:52>> You know, but yeah, I'm not like a pushy
13:55um stagey mom, but I I relate to their
13:58art. Like when my daughter was making
13:59her record and she would send me um
14:02mixes, rough mixes.
14:04I had a bunch of notes, you know, and I
14:06would really have to
14:08pick and choose what because I I just
14:10felt like I just know that world.
14:13>> Yeah.
14:13>> In terms of
14:15my son's acting, not so much. We got to
14:18do a little together. I was on his show.
14:21I played his mom in one episode on his
14:23show. So, that was really fun and
14:27>> Are they proud of you?
14:28Do they
14:29>> are. No, I know they are.
14:31>> You know they are. Are they
14:32demonstratively
14:34proud of you?
14:35>> I I I would say yes.
14:38>> Oh, that's great.
14:39>> I would say yes. They're very like um
14:42you know, their their only thing to me
14:44is, Mom, you've been working for so many
14:46years. Why don't you just chill for a
14:47while? I'm like, you guys, I like to
14:50work. That is chill for me. I I don't
14:53like all the downtime.
14:55>> Yeah.
14:55>> And I don't really know
14:57I I
14:58what else I would do, you know? So,
15:01um but they're really proud, you know,
15:03like they're the first ones I call when
15:04I get a good job.
15:05>> That's great.
15:06>> Yeah, they're awesome.
15:07>> Did you call them about our job
15:10together?
15:10>> 100%. Are you kidding?
15:12100%. They're so thrilled. They're just,
15:15you know,
15:16they love you. They love Elizabeth. They
15:18love Rob Delaney from Catastrophe. Did
15:20you
15:21>> Wow. Yeah, Rob.
15:22>> Isn't he something?
15:22>> Yeah, he is something. I'm I I'm trying
15:25to pull back cuz I, you know,
15:28I don't know. I I'm just overly effusive
15:31the first week or two to make me feel
15:33comfortable.
15:34>> [laughter]
15:35>> But everybody,
15:36>> I know, it's a good bunch, so far.
15:38>> bunch. Yeah.
15:39>> I can't wait to get, you know, I think
15:42next week we do some more sort of like
15:44>> Yeah, we got
15:45>> scenes rather than group scenes, so.
15:47>> which is nice.
15:48>> That'll be fun.
15:49>> No more mugging.
15:50>> No more mugging. Well, maybe.
15:52>> Maybe.
15:53>> [laughter]
15:56>> You never know. I When I worked with
15:57John Ritter, he used to always he would
16:00make such big jokes about face acting.
16:02He was like, "Well, okay, now we're you
16:03know, cuz he had that rubbery face."
16:05>> So, he um
16:07>> Yeah.
16:07>> What a sweet soul. Was that
16:10>> We uh I we know his son, Jason, really
16:13well and he's been on this.
16:15But was that what he was working on
16:18>> I was there.
16:19>> I I didn't know.
16:20Oh, wow.
16:21>> Yeah, we were doing
16:23press pretty much at 4:00 in the
16:24afternoon on that day and then by 10:00
16:27that night
16:29it he he he left us.
16:32>> It was
16:33mind-blowing. It was just really
16:35mind-blowing and um
16:37>> Yeah.
16:38>> But you know, it's interesting. I don't
16:39know how what your belief system is, but
16:41I feel him around a lot. I I just feel
16:44him around. I can just um his energy and
16:47his
16:48his
16:49love of laughter and
16:52life and even though I think he had his
16:54darker side, too, but he just brought so
16:57much light that um
16:59I just feel him around.
17:01>> Yeah, definitely.
17:02That belief system, yes, is shared in
17:05this room.
17:06>> Great.
17:06>> We've had uh
17:08people that were very specific about
17:10that belief system here talking to them.
17:13Um
17:15but let's talk about me first a little
17:16bit more.
17:18>> to. It'll put me at ease. Uh Um
17:20>> Okay.
17:21See, I love this about you, Ted, because
17:23you are so self-aware
17:26of that. That's just so cool. I've
17:28worked with so [laughter] many male
17:29actors that
17:31they they don't have that
17:33self-awareness. So I I love that.
17:35>> Yeah, I I can [laughter] make I can make
17:38people work a little hard to make me
17:41feel better. You know, self-effacing is
17:44kind of cuz I'm magnificent. I
17:46love being Ted. I All of those things
17:49are also true.
17:51You know, [laughter]
17:52to be self-deprecating you have to have
17:54a pretty huge ego to begin with, I
17:57think. Support for Where Everybody Knows
17:59Your Name comes from The Gray Take,
18:02presented by Brookdale Senior Living.
18:04Whether at the bar or a senior living
18:07community, people tend to look for the
18:09same things: connection, support, and
18:12maybe a little laughter along the way.
18:14The Gray Take brings these elements into
18:16conversations about aging, caregiving,
18:19and the moments families don't always
18:22see coming.
18:23Hear from those who have lived it on The
18:25Gray Take, wherever you listen to
18:27podcasts.
18:28All right, so actors, when they work
18:30together, they avail themselves to each
18:33other uh in a controlled way of this is
18:37who I am. Let's get intimate, not
18:40physically, but let's be intimate and
18:42personal uh so that I can share with you
18:46parts of me that maybe will be good for
18:49us in our working together as actors and
18:52for the characters, right?
18:53>> Right.
18:55>> [laughter]
18:55>> I agree.
18:56>> Okay, you start.
18:58>> Okay.
18:59So
18:59>> What is it about you I should know to
19:01help me play? And vice versa, what do
19:04you want to know about me? Because we,
19:06for the audience out there, and for
19:08these guys who don't really know.
19:10You meet us.
19:12>> Yes.
19:13>> Let's spoil it.
19:14No.
19:15You meet us
19:18not visually, so everyone can relax, in
19:20a steam room having sex
19:22>> Yes.
19:22>> in a retirement village when our
19:25families have gotten together
19:27haphazardly to find to go visit there us
19:31>> Yes.
19:31>> and can't find us.
19:33And we
19:34enjoy each other's physical company. I
19:37For his one Here's a question I never
19:39got. Is this our first time having sex?
19:42>> Oh, no.
19:43>> The steam room? You think we've been
19:44doing this for a while?
19:45>> I think we've been I think it's been
19:47going on a minute.
19:48>> Okay. I like that cuz otherwise
19:51>> be my choice.
19:52>> Yes.
19:52>> Yeah, because
19:54I feel like the dialogue after where we
19:56go no spoiler like yeah.
19:58>> It's too yes, offhand to be a
20:01first-timer.
20:02>> Right. Right. That would be my
20:03>> Great. So, this is why the the what I my
20:06description of our relationship is why
20:08I'm really curious about all of this.
20:11Um yeah, what should I know about you
20:14that we're Tell me who
20:15>> I'm very sexual, Ted.
20:17>> Okay.
20:18>> [laughter]
20:18>> Um
20:20>> I'm I'm I'm at this age of my life and
20:22still
20:24still into it.
20:25So,
20:25>> I'm Okay.
20:27>> [laughter]
20:28>> I'm the exact
20:31opposite. Not I mean, but I I
20:35growing up
20:36and it's still not that Well, you know,
20:39I'm madly
20:39>> [laughter]
20:40>> I'm madly in love with my wife, Mary.
20:42We've been together for 32 years. So, me
20:44talking about how I would be out in the
20:46world is like a distant
20:49>> Right.
20:49>> bad memory kind of thing. But, growing
20:53up, the girl would have to be naked
20:56standing in front of me and I would
20:58still be going, "Who? Me?"
21:00>> Oh, you're so sweet.
21:01>> it's not sweet. It's it sucks. You know,
21:04I it it was so
21:07>> No game.
21:07>> Sam Malone, I would break into a sweat
21:10in the early days when I had to come on
21:12to a woman in the bar. It was just not
21:14me.
21:16I've learned how to do it. But so when
21:18you say I'm very sexual, I'm starting to
21:21sweat.
21:22>> Don't sweat.
21:23>> Yeah, okay.
21:23>> No, I think I think what's important
21:26about saying that and I I say that
21:29somewhat facetiously, but it is true is
21:31I think that when I was growing up, I
21:33thought that by the time I'd get to this
21:35age of my life
21:37>> Which is?
21:38>> Uh 72.
21:39>> Right.
21:39>> That that that would be a distant
21:42memory. And
21:43>> You'd have tight curled gray hair.
21:45>> Something.
21:46>> Yes.
21:46>> Yeah. And it seem it's it's not that.
21:49And so I think that the more that's sort
21:52of spoken about, I think that's a good
21:54thing. I mean, I think the fact that
21:56we're doing a show where you're going to
21:57see people in their 70s having sex
22:00is
22:01>> Not literally, folks. So relax.
22:03>> far from the truth and I think it's very
22:05affirming. I think that, you know,
22:08>> 100%.
22:08>> It's a it's a good thing.
22:10>> And we're not making this up. This is
22:11rampant.
22:12>> Oh, rampant.
22:13>> Rampant in
22:15um retirement homes.
22:16>> Absolutely. Yeah. They have the highest
22:18rate of STDs.
22:19>> Yeah.
22:19>> [laughter]
22:22>> Okay, but you're all right, right? I'm
22:24all right.
22:24>> Yes.
22:25>> Okay.
22:25>> You're so sweet you said that. You know,
22:26my husband is very similar. I think he's
22:28I think my husband is super hot, but I
22:30think he would never he would never
22:32think that. He would just That's what
22:34makes him so great, I think.
22:36>> Yeah, actually it was also part of my um
22:40seduction.
22:41>> Right.
22:42>> Which was, "Hey, it's me, Ted, one of
22:44the girls. Let's take our clothes off."
22:46>> god, you're so funny.
22:48You know, my husband said that to me
22:49when we were first dating, he said, "You
22:51know, I'm half a girl." I was like,
22:52"Okay."
22:54In a good in the greatest way. In the
22:56greatest like in tune with his feminine
22:59which self which I feel like so to be an
23:02actor, to be an artist, to be anything,
23:05we have to
23:07you have to have a a good connection to
23:09your female self. Because that is our
23:11emotional life.
23:12>> Yeah.
23:13>> Right?
23:13>> So, that's what I think.
23:16>> And once you all you ladies get past the
23:19old danger,
23:21you know, we I love a dangerous guy.
23:23Once you get past that,
23:26which I think
23:28most people don't get stuck there, then
23:30that that's what you want. You want
23:32kindness. You want to be seen. You want
23:34to be
23:34>> I got stuck there many times.
23:38>> [laughter]
23:38>> That was the other thing that I got
23:39stuck in, by the way, which I think is
23:42great about cuz you both I think in our
23:44characters, neither one needs fixing.
23:49You know,
23:49>> say so.
23:50>> You know, it's like you're not I I don't
23:52my character would not look at you and
23:54go, "Oh." Cuz here's what I used to do,
23:57sorry. I would find the the woman who
24:00had the wound, you know, and I would
24:02become indispensable
24:05to making that wound go away and feel
24:07better. That was my
24:08It's a horrible way, cuz then you're
24:11whatever.
24:12It's it's
24:13>> Is that how you grew up?
24:15>> Yeah.
24:16>> Taking care of somebody's wound?
24:17>> Yeah. Yeah.
24:18Yeah. I was making up for
24:20>> Yeah.
24:21>> Yeah.
24:21Uh
24:22but it's not a great way to go. When I
24:24met Mary, I started doing one of those
24:27bits, and I could see her not literally,
24:30cuz she didn't know what I was about
24:31what I was doing, look at me with this
24:33kind of
24:34confused look, and it was like, "Oh,
24:37I don't have to do that anymore."
24:38>> Wow, that's great.
24:40>> I don't have to do push-pull anymore.
24:42This person is totally
24:44>> Okay.
24:44>> okay with, you know, within herself. She
24:47does not need me.
24:49It's a magnificent gift to give to the
24:51other person.
24:52>> If you're a person that always has
24:54chosen people that need you, that
24:56>> first leap into the person that doesn't
24:59actually need you. I mean, to me I
25:01learned enormous lessons about myself
25:02that way cuz I watched myself get afraid
25:05of abandonment and this and that. Like,
25:07if you don't need me
25:09and buy enough all that stuff came up.
25:12>> Yeah.
25:13>> But
25:13>> And it still comes up.
25:15>> [laughter]
25:15>> It does, you know, you
25:17I don't think those patterns go away.
25:19You can you can go, "Oh, here comes that
25:21pattern. I don't have to
25:24react that way."
25:25>> Right.
25:25>> But that pattern will poke its head up,
25:27I think, always.
25:28>> 100% yeah.
25:29Yes, I I come
25:30>> Okay, so we don't need each other.
25:32>> All right.
25:33>> Um and I admire that and you are uh I
25:37don't think I'm ruining anything, but
25:39you are
25:40were a reporter.
25:42You were on 60 Minutes.
25:44>> Right.
25:45>> I was a very successful plumber.
25:48>> Love that.
25:48>> And proud of it.
25:49>> Right.
25:50>> Um and I'm very
25:54um
25:54self-assured.
25:56>> And isn't that great that two people
25:58that come from those I mean, like as
26:00younger people
26:02I don't know that a 60 Minutes
26:03journalist would be attracted to the
26:05plumber and I don't know that the
26:07plumber would feel like, "Oh, I can go"
26:09You know, it's kind of different, I
26:11think, as you get older. It's not so
26:12much about
26:14what you do, you know, it's about who
26:17you are. So
26:18>> And how does this feel in the moment?
26:20>> Yeah.
26:20>> Yeah.
26:20>> So, I think that that's um
26:23>> Here's something I could I I need to
26:25work on for myself.
26:26>> Yeah.
26:27>> For Fred the Plumber
26:29is I I do tend to
26:31even though I've confessed I'm very uh
26:34chuffed to be myself. I love Ted. I I
26:37do. But I walk in and
26:40uh in a knee-jerk kind of way
26:42apologizing.
26:43>> Really?
26:44>> Sorry is yes. Sorry is like, you know, a
26:46comma in my I'd say it way too much.
26:49That's not Fred the Plumber.
26:51>> Mhm.
26:52>> I need to be able to walk in,
26:54put aside my fears about am I a good
26:57actor, put aside my fear of I have to be
27:00a little bit
27:01different to be like, you know,
27:03whatever. Put aside all my fears and
27:05walk into the room as an actor,
27:08totally confident,
27:10pleased with myself.
27:12>> This is so interesting to hear because
27:14my since I've just met you,
27:16my lore in my brain about you is that
27:20confident,
27:22very like it is exactly what you're
27:24saying Fred should be. I would not
27:27You know, it's so it's so so interesting
27:28what you make up about people before you
27:31actually meet the people.
27:32>> Yeah.
27:33>> And I would, you know, to me you're
27:34legendary Ted Danson. I mean, and I and
27:38you know, I would not think that
27:41with given all that you've done, I would
27:43not think that those things would still
27:45pop up. But you know, as I say it,
27:47I think that quality of like,
27:50you know, not quite feeling good enough,
27:52ba ba ba ba ba, I think that's what
27:54makes for interesting actors.
27:57Curious people.
27:58>> Yeah.
27:59>> I and I sometimes think if if you are if
28:02Sam Malone had been played by
28:04somebody who was just a pure for real
28:07womanizer and arrogant and cocky and
28:10everything, I think he that person would
28:12have missed the joke.
28:13>> Uh absolutely.
28:14>> think you have to get the joke
28:16>> Right.
28:17>> to play
28:18>> to play that.
28:19>> Yeah.
28:20Anyway, what about you?
28:22>> What about me?
28:23>> I don't know. Anything more.
28:25>> Let's see.
28:25>> About the parts we're about to play. You
28:27know, the truth is this is just silly
28:29talk. We'll find out as we go and it'll
28:31be fun.
28:32>> Right.
28:32>> But
28:33>> What about the parts we play? Well, it's
28:35interesting for me because I'm sort of
28:37grappling with even though it as I talk
28:39about being older and being sexual and
28:41having all those things, there is part
28:43of me that still kind of grappling with
28:45this whole like like when they first
28:47said to me, "Okay, you're going to live
28:49in a retirement village." I was like,
28:51"Huh? What are you talking about? It's
28:53me. I don't I'm not there."
28:55>> Oh, I'm riding my motorcycle to this
28:57interview.
28:58>> [laughter]
28:58>> And um and then I've sort of like like
29:01once I spoiler, but they put a beautiful
29:05gray wig on my on my head. And then I I
29:08kind of um
29:11I think it's helping, you know, just the
29:13thought of that I got that role is
29:15making me be more in acceptance of maybe
29:19that I can do that, that I am that, that
29:22this is you know, cuz I don't know about
29:24you, but I feel like I'm 45. I don't
29:26feel like I'm the number.
29:29>> Yeah.
29:29>> And you know, so at first I was almost
29:33not like offended, but it was almost
29:35like, "Really? Me?"
29:36>> This is not This won't be believable.
29:40>> But then I saw how we all both got put
29:42together and you have a youthful vibe.
29:44So it was like, "Oh, okay. These are two
29:47people that
29:49are at this place in their life." I
29:50don't know what you've decided about why
29:52you're there. I know why I've decided
29:54why I'm there cuz they didn't really
29:55tell us why we're there.
29:56>> yeah.
29:57>> [laughter]
29:58>> So I made up a a thing about why I'm
30:01there.
30:01>> Yeah.
30:02>> And um
30:03which doesn't necessarily have to do
30:05with not being able to take care of
30:06myself.
30:07>> Right.
30:08>> It just has to do with
30:10um
30:10a a few things that would be much nicer
30:14if somebody else would do them.
30:16Do you know what I mean?
30:17>> Not quite, but I don't want you to have
30:18to tell me what it is. Maybe it's just
30:20wonderful to keep yourself
30:22>> and you know, all the things. Like my my
30:24imagination is that I come from New
30:26York. I'm not a person who drives. I'm
30:28not this and somehow I ran out of money,
30:30all my money. So my son had to support
30:33me and so he said, "Yeah, but you can't
30:35live with me, but you can live here."
30:38That's my sort of
30:39>> I love it.
30:40>> made up
30:40>> Yeah.
30:41>> thing.
30:42And I'm sure you must have something
30:44you've kind of
30:44>> Close. I kind of
30:46s-
30:47I'm not
30:48I should I don't know. This is Am I a
30:51bad actor? Am I just surface-y? But um
30:54there's some spoiler alerts that I don't
30:56want to talk about. There's some
30:58physical stuff and all of that, but but
31:00it's like
31:03my backstory or what's comes will come
31:05out and be thus a part of the story is
31:10um
31:11gives me the
31:12an attitude that I like, which is well
31:16what the
31:18Let's I'm going to have fun.
31:20>> Oh, yeah.
31:20>> You know, what the Okay.
31:23You know?
31:24>> Acceptance of it.
31:25>> Yeah.
31:25>> Right.
31:25>> Yeah.
31:27>> Yeah, I think I'm kind of she's maybe
31:29working I don't know. I have no idea.
31:30You know, when you do a job like this
31:32and the writers are they're right, you
31:34know, I live with a writer. So, I know
31:36that I'm just there to service whatever
31:38he's going to give me.
31:39>> Right.
31:39>> So, I
31:41I'm not sure where we're going. I'm not
31:43sure how much we're going to know about
31:46anything, really. So,
31:48but I know for me I have I have to know
31:51sort of that
31:52backstory a little bit, even if I've
31:54just made it up, just so I know
31:57where you know, the relationships. I
31:59just, you know, cuz sometimes the
32:01>> No, no, I think it's incredibly
32:03valuable. I mean
32:06>> And not to be too deep about it. It's
32:08not like some method-y thing.
32:09>> you need to walk in the door feeling
32:11like this is not This makes
32:13sense to me because of yada yada yada.
32:15>> Especially in funny stuff. Don't you
32:17find? I mean, I really think that, you
32:19know,
32:19>> Yeah, cuz funny stuff only to me is
32:22worth watching is if it's grounded in
32:25some sort of uh sadness.
32:28Primarily.
32:29>> And reality. And
32:30>> Yeah. Yeah.
32:31>> You know,
32:31>> We're we're lucky about that. We we're
32:33not doing three For me I I I I'm not
32:36good at doing three jokes to a page
32:38anymore. It's
32:40more interested in
32:41>> No, more interested. Yeah.
32:42>> Yeah. So, this is good. You know what
32:44else is cool about our parts?
32:45>> Huh?
32:47>> We're not um
32:49we may be a pain in the ass to our
32:52children,
32:53but we don't need them.
32:54>> No.
32:55>> And we're not stupid.
32:56>> Right.
32:57>> And we're not, you know, so it's like
32:59actually kids, you would do us all a
33:01favor if you would like clear the way
33:04and let us do our life, you know,
33:06whatever it is. And that's nice not to
33:08play old people who are
33:11the joke old people.
33:12>> Oh.
33:13>> You know. And the trope old people.
33:15>> Yeah. I That's what I think is
33:16>> I I I kind of know what trope means, but
33:18say it again.
33:19>> Trope is is really the the stereotypical
33:22what you think of people in their 70s,
33:24which
33:25you know, has changed so much over the
33:27years. So, it's you know,
33:30we are not the
33:32the trope.
33:33>> Yeah. And And Nora and the kids.
33:36>> And Nora and the kids.
33:36>> We have what? Two eight nine 10-year-old
33:40boys somewhere in that range.
33:42>> the grandchildren.
33:43>> The grandchildren and a 16-year-old
33:46grandchild. And it's just They're just
33:48really great, but they don't They're not
33:50written
33:51in a trope-like fashion, you know.
33:53>> what I I I liked the script a lot
33:55because nobody really is. You know, it
33:58sort of goes against I'm sure it's
33:59intentional. It's really It's good.
34:02>> For me, and I don't know you well enough
34:04to really say this, but
34:06one of my favorite things is uh sadness.
34:10>> Yeah.
34:10>> Because sadness I Someone once told me
34:12this years ago, kind of guru-ish
34:16kind of person, but nevertheless, I
34:18thought it was very wise. Sadness is a
34:20function of winning.
34:23And I really like that. Anger, no, you
34:27know, sadness. Fear, no, but sadness is
34:30a good thing to have. And I see in you,
34:32and this is just me, I see sadness.
34:36>> Yeah.
34:37>> Not not unexamined sadness, not anything
34:41that's running
34:43doesn't feel to me that you're I don't I
34:44don't feel smeared by your sadness. I
34:47just feel like there's a hint of
34:48sadness, which to me I find um
34:51real and uh
34:53>> Well, it's examined.
34:54>> It's examined. Wow, that's great.
34:57So, can we talk about where that sadness
34:59came from? And I don't mean I I know you
35:01talked about being sober and all of
35:02that. I'm not talking about that part.
35:04W-
35:05Can we talk about family and losing
35:08parents at a
35:10>> young age?
35:11>> Young age. I mean, you were not a
35:13teenager, but it doesn't matter. You
35:15were very young.
35:17>> I think I grew I think I was born sad.
35:20>> [laughter]
35:22>> Honestly, I do. I look at pic- like
35:24serious and sad.
35:26>> Yeah.
35:26>> Like I look, you know, I've raised three
35:28kids, and when they were 10 years old,
35:30they didn't look like my pictures of me
35:32at 10 years old.
35:34So, I think that um
35:37you know, I'm the oldest of five, and my
35:41father was a director, one of the early
35:43television directors, Boris. So, he was
35:47gone a lot, and my mother
35:49um who
35:51should have been born now. My mother was
35:53a very creative person, an artist
35:56person, and had been singing and had her
35:59own radio show when she was 11.
36:02And she kind of did that
36:03>> Wait, wait, what? Had her own radio
36:05show?
36:05>> My mother was called the singing
36:06sweetheart of Cherokee County.
36:09>> [laughter]
36:09>> That's fantastic.
36:10>> How cool is that?
36:11>> Yeah.
36:11>> In South Carolina.
36:13>> [clears throat]
36:13>> And she'd have like a 15-minute, you
36:15know, radio show where she'd yodel. I
36:17mean, it was like this wild thing. And
36:19then she she ended up kind of supporting
36:21her family when they moved to New York,
36:23and my grandfather left, and
36:25anyway, so the truth is that I but my
36:28mother was sad. My mother was one of
36:32those people that
36:35did the trope thing of getting married,
36:37quitting working, having kids. And I
36:40just don't think it was really following
36:42her authentic self. I think that that
36:45was the trap that she fell into. And
36:49so I just remember, you know, being
36:52being the grown-up, being, you know,
36:55the little kid grown-up.
36:57And my mother being
37:00my dad being at work a lot and mom being
37:02at home and telling me things that kids
37:04don't really need to know.
37:06So
37:08>> uh in a confidential
37:10>> like a friend.
37:11>> Yes.
37:12>> Like a like something you would tell
37:13your girlfriends.
37:14>> There was a little bit more too much
37:16sharing going on for which I didn't
37:18realize till much later in my life, but
37:21um so I think I kind of grew up in sort
37:24of a sad, fearful way.
37:28And I don't know, maybe it was just out
37:29of the shoot that way or maybe it was
37:31circumstance. I'm not I don't really
37:34know.
37:35But um and then I did, I had a rough go
37:38in my um
37:4020s when my both my parents, my mother
37:43died when I was 20 and my father
37:46died when I was 25, 26.
37:49And so I had a lot of early loss, which
37:52is
37:54an interesting way to process mortality.
37:58You kind of get a hit of it really
38:00early. You understand like, oh,
38:04this this is finite, this whole journey
38:07here.
38:08Which
38:09if you're if you're not processing that
38:11in the correct way like a young person,
38:13that can be sort of scary and sad.
38:15>> Mhm.
38:16>> So um
38:17>> And you haven't had a chance yet to get
38:20your feet really underneath you.
38:22>> No. No. Plus, I was, you know,
38:25drinking and drugging a lot at the time.
38:26So, it was kind of I was just all over
38:28the place.
38:29But, it's like what you said, I look at
38:31it now like all that sadness kind of
38:35growing up just kind of made me like I'm
38:38not sad now.
38:40>> [laughter]
38:40>> I feel
38:41>> I Yeah.
38:42>> I feel much more and it's because I've
38:45learned how to
38:47sit with that and not run away from
38:50that.
38:51>> Yeah.
38:51>> You know what I mean?
38:52>> I do.
38:53>> And
38:54and it's been a great teacher. I mean,
38:56discomfort
38:58as the Buddhists say, we need to be
39:00comfortable with our discomfort. And I
39:03find that um the more I can practice
39:06that, not perfect at it at all, but the
39:08more I can practice that, the more I
39:10grow.
39:12Right? The more I
39:14rather than And it's kind of what I try
39:16to
39:17pass on to my kids a little bit. You
39:19know, I've always told them life's not
39:21fair, so don't don't start thinking
39:23you're going to
39:24You know, so and I've tried to
39:27sort of
39:28push that on them that, you know,
39:31discomfort is is where you're learning.
39:33It's where you're actually growing.
39:36So,
39:37try to
39:38>> again. Life is not fair. I mean, it's
39:40something we hear all the time, but
39:42there's sometimes when it's said by life
39:44is not fair, it's from a victimi, angry
39:48>> Mhm.
39:50No.
39:50>> know that's not what you're saying, but
39:52it's
39:52>> Right.
39:53>> What does that mean life's not fair?
39:55>> Life is not fair means to me that um
39:59you know, one and one doesn't always
40:02equate to two.
40:04That, you know, there's so many more
40:05circumstances around whatever it is life
40:09is presenting us and we think we're on a
40:11certain trajectory and we should now get
40:13the prize. We should now get the pot of
40:15gold.
40:17And then sometimes we don't realize that
40:19the pot of gold is way down the line,
40:22and you're not going to get that until
40:24you've missed this thing.
40:27That's how I believe, what I believe is
40:29that everything is leading to this or
40:31something greater than.
40:33And so, when I say life is not fair,
40:35that just sort of means like you know,
40:39what we think we have to have,
40:41>> Yeah.
40:41>> we don't
40:43get,
40:44and that's okay because we're not
40:46supposed to get it. Something something
40:48else is going to happen.
40:50I didn't always feel this way. I used to
40:52feel like, you know, if I don't get what
40:54I want, I got to either push harder to
40:56get that thing, force that round thing
40:59into the square peg, or you know, just
41:01be
41:02resentful and regretful and, you know,
41:05why didn't I, you know, [clears throat]
41:06competitive, all those weird things.
41:09And so, I guess that's what I Is that Is
41:11that Is that super long?
41:12>> I agree. I agree. Um It's not I don't
41:15really Well, I almost do lead my life as
41:17by the law of attraction.
41:19>> Oh, yeah. Right.
41:20>> Yes, we all have desires. That's what it
41:22is to be human beings. So, you have
41:23these
41:24little rockets of desire going off all
41:26the time. Um
41:28but the trick is,
41:31you know, yes, I desire this that's over
41:33there,
41:35then and imagine it,
41:38but then let it go,
41:40and be grateful,
41:42and in the moment now.
41:44>> Mhm.
41:45>> And the rest will
41:47take care of And don't
41:49limit yourself by how you think you
41:53should get to that desired goal because
41:55life will, you know,
41:58>> 100%.
41:58>> will take a left turn, and you'll go,
42:00"Oh, well, no, this was not a left turn.
42:03I'm actually now feeling more fulfilled.
42:06I'm more of service to people. I have
42:09more love in my heart than, you know,
42:11which is what you're really
42:13>> Right.
42:13>> targeting
42:14in life, you know.
42:16>> You're not to get super recovery.
42:18>> do.
42:18>> Let's do. But, you know, recovery is all
42:21about, you know, don't leave before the
42:22miracle. And also about
42:24>> Don't leave before the miracle.
42:27>> In other words, don't don't um
42:31like what I was told when I got into
42:33recovery is that you're
42:35you're you're you're you're dreaming too
42:37small.
42:38Your life will be bigger and better than
42:40you can even imagine. Which sounded like
42:42a sales pitch to me. Which is like, what
42:44do you mean? Like, I don't get I don't
42:46drink anymore and then that's going to
42:48I thought it was all But, when
42:50I look back now and I see how my life
42:52has the trajectory it's gone on,
42:55everything I thought was important to be
42:57a rock star, to be like blah blah, you
42:59know, all the things,
43:01my life is so much better than I could
43:03have imagined in terms of raising a
43:06family and being like you said, the
43:07mother group in Nashville. I was able to
43:10work and raise children and be married a
43:13couple of times. And, you know, all the
43:16things that
43:18I I I was cutting myself short by
43:20thinking, no, it has to be this way. Has
43:22to be this way.
43:24>> Which was a lot of what my drinking and
43:25using had been about. Was about
43:28um being so rigid in my desires. And
43:31every time one of them would not come to
43:33fruition, I would be like, this.
43:35I'm not, you know, I'm going to just
43:37blank this out this part of my my life
43:39was very very small is what I'll say.
43:41>> Yeah.
43:42>> And then with with my recovered state,
43:45recovery state, my life
43:48is pretty big in a great way.
43:50>> Who who do you look to nowadays to I
43:52mean, is it that
43:56the 12 steps that kind of are your
43:58leading
43:59light or do you have people or I mean,
44:02obviously
44:04obviously your husband is that for you
44:06as well and your children and all of
44:07that, but
44:09where do you get your kind of
44:11>> My head my god head.
44:12>> Yeah, yeah, yeah, thanks. Your god head.
44:14>> Which I still have trouble with
44:16the word sometimes because of the dogma
44:19behind it.
44:20And I was not raised that way. I was
44:22raised pretty much as a socialist.
44:25It didn't run
44:26>> Not a bad way to go.
44:26>> not a you're not a bad way to go, but um
44:28no no religious dogma at all.
44:31>> So um yeah, I would just say the tenants
44:34of
44:36a spiritually based program is
44:39um allows me to not live afraid.
44:43And the way that I do that are all the
44:48you know, I learned in 12-step rooms. I
44:50learned about taking life in small
44:53pieces because if I take them in too big
44:56a piece, I'll get scared. I I'll I'll
44:58project out and it won't be good.
45:01You know, I'll go all the way there.
45:02>> yeah.
45:03>> So
45:04I would say that I'm I'm very much in
45:06that community. I stay in the middle of
45:08all that and I
45:10work with other people and I don't
45:12forget where I came from. And
45:14you know, I I got pretty dark for me
45:17there for a minute. And so I um
45:21this is what I know about all addiction.
45:23It all is in my brain. It's not about
45:26any substance.
45:27All the substances are filling the same
45:30space. So um yeah, I guess that's sort
45:34of my
45:35you know, and I just have a faith
45:38that you know, faith is believing in
45:40things you cannot see.
45:42Faith is saying, you know, I'm going to
45:44turn the light switch on and it's all
45:46going to work. And I don't I don't see
45:47the wires. I don't know what's
45:48happening.
45:49>> So I tend to I I like to go there.
45:52That's where I But I have to do it
45:55kind of daily. I'll forget.
45:57>> I know, it's kind of like
45:59>> [laughter]
46:00>> Huh.
46:01This is what I love about acting, cuz
46:03really good acting
46:07and especially on film, cuz you can see
46:09it
46:10is the moment, you know, your goal is to
46:12be in the moment. Literally not really
46:16knowing, even though
46:18you have the technique to know that you
46:20have more lines coming up or whatever,
46:22but to genuinely be in the moment, not
46:25do anything until you make me do it, you
46:28know, so I'm not
46:30giving a demonstration of how
46:33it is to be in this moment, but I am
46:35literally in that moment. It's very
46:36rare.
46:37For me, it's 50/50 at best.
46:40And you you And when I'm in the moment,
46:43I'll go, "Wow, a me. Look at this.
46:46I'm in the moment." And boom, you're not
46:47in the moment. Which is which is life,
46:50>> That's so life.
46:51>> it really is.
46:52>> It absolutely is. And
46:54you know, as an actor, you know, you
46:55sort of you have to say sort of it's
46:56like the first time you've said
46:57something and you've just really said it
46:5925 times.
47:00>> Yeah.
47:00>> So, yeah, it's a hard it's a hard road
47:03to to maintain.
47:05>> Yeah.
47:06>> Yeah, life is like that, too, you know,
47:07I find that in my um
47:12you know, I think the main thing I
47:13probably worry about in my life these
47:15days is
47:16the future of my children. You know what
47:19I mean? Like
47:20>> know what you mean.
47:20>> Yeah, like wanting their lives to be
47:24um
47:25as much as I say that we learn so much
47:27from adversity, but you know, you want
47:30their lives to be
47:32comfortable and and not too bumpy and
47:35all the things. And so, I have to really
47:38practice that concept of
47:42you know, one moment at a time with them
47:44as well, because I can project way into
47:47the you know, I can just tell myself
47:48scary stories.
47:50>> Just like
47:50>> Absolutely. You got yours.
47:52>> Yes.
47:52>> Yeah.
47:53>> And I didn't have the parental guidance
47:55that they you know, my parents were gone
47:57by the time I was 25. And I pretty much
48:00raised myself anyway is what I would
48:01say.
48:02>> Yeah.
48:02>> And um so it's an interesting
48:06mix to be the parent of grown children
48:10and support and paint pictures of good
48:14things rather than put my anxiety on
48:17them. Do you know what I mean?
48:19>> Yeah, we have one of our kids is leading
48:21a life where sometimes I go, I am so
48:24fearful and I want to No, no, no, but
48:26then as Mary will point out, no, you
48:29that's you putting yourself into their
48:32life and going, this is unbearable. I
48:34couldn't live that way. Not so.
48:37For our child
48:39quite capable
48:42to live within that construct and you
48:45know, you're just trying to make her
48:47construct your whatever.
48:49>> That's what we do as humans. We're like,
48:51you know,
48:52and we we repeat we we Yes, I'm the same
48:55way and as is my husband where we'll
48:57just be like, well,
48:59they must be feeling the way I felt when
49:01I was that age.
49:02>> Yeah.
49:03>> They're not feeling that way.
49:04>> Or or the guilt we have our generation
49:07of this world we're leaving them, you
49:10know, or AI and all of these things that
49:13are genuinely
49:15fearsome.
49:16>> Yeah.
49:16>> Clim- you know, forget about all that.
49:18Climate change
49:19>> Oh, I know.
49:20>> is fearsome and it and it don't really
49:22care what your political la-di-da is,
49:25it's marching along.
49:26>> Yep.
49:27>> So it there's a lot of fearsome stuff.
49:30But
49:31>> They'll manage it. They'll handle it.
49:32They'll you know,
49:34>> Yeah. Maybe they're the ones that are
49:35>> that are going to figure it out. Yeah.
49:37>> And so it's kind of our arrogance as
49:40parents. You know, it's like we know
49:42better.
49:42>> Especially boomers, you know.
49:44>> Oh, yeah, we're still arrogant.
49:47>> not a chance. No.
49:49>> That's right.
49:50>> I still got it.
49:51>> That's exactly right. I I totally agree
49:53with that. And so
49:55yeah, it's kind of like you know, with
49:58age you get wisdom is what I think, but
50:01but you also have to remain
50:04teachable and humble and all those
50:07things rather than shoving your wisdom
50:10down everybody's throat.
50:12You know, it's like cuz that's how you
50:12stay
50:14stuck. You know, you know, that once
50:17again that trope of what getting older
50:19means.
50:19>> Yeah.
50:20>> I think [clears throat] getting older
50:21has to be you have to remain curious.
50:23You have to remain like open like I have
50:25a lot of young friends. I don't know if
50:28you and Mary do, but I hang with like
50:30younger people.
50:31And I
50:32>> and I feel like one of I mean, I don't
50:34you know, and I learn so much from them.
50:37>> Yep.
50:38>> You know, and their perspective and
50:39their lives and but you know, so
50:42>> And your children I mean, our children
50:44are included which is
50:47Yeah, sometimes, you know, we feel not
50:50included, but 90% of the time we're
50:52included in their young friends' lives
50:55as well and that's really amazing.
50:57>> they love to hang out with you, your
50:59kids, you know, because
51:01you know, that's just it's an
51:03interesting you can be supportive and
51:05also be um
51:08just uh
51:09not arrogant. Not I don't even know how
51:11to put it any other way, but I remember
51:13my parents like this is the way it is.
51:16This is the how
51:18and even though I they didn't live long
51:19enough for me to really
51:21you know,
51:22>> rebel
51:22>> get in there, but I you know, I
51:25I I find it very different now. I just
51:28I'm not that way. Plus I find younger
51:30people right now since they went through
51:31the pandemic.
51:33>> Yeah.
51:33>> Most of what the younger people and I'm
51:35talking like late 20s, early 30s, they
51:37feel like they're behind.
51:39They feel like you know,
51:41>> two years behind
51:42>> they've missed it and and they'll forget
51:44that they did miss two years. It's not
51:47that you're behind, it's that the world
51:49stopped. So, um I I do I think
51:53that that the example of longevity in
51:56whatever you're you know, your career,
51:58your family, whatever. I mean, I had a
51:59child at 52 through a surrogate, but I
52:03became a mother again
52:05at 52. And you know,
52:09that's
52:09>> What? Wait, wait, I just let that in.
52:1252?
52:13>> Yeah, my husband is 6 years younger than
52:15I am, and this is my third husband, and
52:17he kind of was he was Sarah and
52:20Jackson's stepdad, and when we met, he
52:23was like, "I don't want I don't want to
52:24have any kids." And I was like, "Okay,
52:26cuz I have about 5 minutes left if you
52:29want to have kids." And then about 5
52:32years in, we started really talking
52:34about it, and so we did the whole
52:37surrogate process, and and he that's
52:41what happened. And so,
52:43and did I feel like
52:44>> And who is that?
52:45>> This is Esme, my sweet Esme, who's 19,
52:49and just you know, she's my favorite
52:52right now.
52:53>> Kids, I love you all. You others. Right
52:56now, that's the key thing to take away
52:57now.
52:58>> Yeah.
52:59So, um yeah. So, I think that what
53:02you're saying is correct. It's like, you
53:04know, you we continue to live life.
53:07>> Yeah.
53:07>> We don't just fold up and die. I mean, I
53:10I I think Jane Fonda is, you know, she's
53:13>> Yeah.
53:13>> you know, like somebody should look up
53:16to.
53:16>> Yeah, she pisses me off.
53:18>> Really?
53:18>> Yeah.
53:19>> Cuz she keeps going.
53:20>> cuz you keep comparing I compare myself
53:23to her, and I go, "Well, you're sure as
53:26a slacker, Ted."
53:27>> No, I think you're doing just fine, Ted.
53:29>> I I am. I am. But tell me about this
53:32moment, cuz I read
53:34uh you and Kurt did a uh an evening
53:36>> Mhm.
53:37>> uh of
53:39What do you describe it? Sorry, I can't
53:41I can't remember. Is a chorus Harmon
53:43>> Chorus Harmonia is what it was called.
53:46It started about a year ago. I you know,
53:49all these years whenever I'm not act
53:51whatever I always have a band. I go out
53:52and play. I go out and play clubs. So
53:55this year I was like I really want to
53:57sing and I want to be in a choir. I
53:59wanted to sing with other people and I
54:01couldn't find a choir. So I just put one
54:03together in my living room and I got
54:06together 11 singers
54:09from different friends from not audition
54:11you know, just people that would like
54:13you know, kind of come together.
54:15And I started picking material
54:17contemporary material without the intent
54:20here's where it came out of I was so
54:22despondent in the early 25 of what the
54:25was going on. I had to do something
54:29to sort of make myself feel better. So
54:31music has always been the thing. So I
54:34started picking songs that eventually
54:37they didn't tell a literal story but
54:38they told an emotional story. It would
54:41became an arc of kind of
54:44health messed up things are to like
54:47what are we going to do about it to like
54:49we've been messed up before to like we
54:51have to stick together. So it became
54:53all the music was sort of leaning itself
54:55that way and then I wanted to share it
55:00in a way I didn't it this was the great
55:02lesson. I had no end game in sight. This
55:06was about let's all get together in my
55:08living room and we're going to sing. And
55:10I found a vocal arranger who put
55:12together some arrangements.
55:14And before I know it knew it it became
55:16like a we decided to make it like a
55:18theater piece and my husband stepped in
55:20and he wrote almost like a Greek chorus
55:24these things that I would say little
55:26interstitial things between the music.
55:29And then we put like a multimedia
55:32component to it where we showed images
55:36that didn't literally go with the music,
55:38but went with the emotional arc. I hope
55:40this is not too complicated.
55:42>> it's exactly what I
55:43>> It became this beautiful thing that we
55:45did at a little theater in Hollywood at
55:48the Hudson Theatre.
55:49And the intent of it was to make people
55:53feel, make me feel that I'm not alone,
55:57that there is hope, that the world has
56:00been in horrible places before,
56:04and we have survived.
56:06And so the the little show became that.
56:09It was an it's a 66 minutes of music and
56:12feels is what we called it.
56:14And
56:15>> music and
56:16>> And and feels.
56:18>> And feels.
56:19>> Yeah, because it's a very emotional
56:21It's not like a play. I don't even know
56:22what you call it. It's not a musical,
56:24it's not a play, it's a it's it's a it's
56:27a piece.
56:28>> Yeah.
56:28>> And so we performed it
56:31um
56:32about 2 months ago we we performed we
56:35did like 10 performances of it and
56:38people walked out really feeling
56:41hopeful in a very dark time. And
56:46I did, too. And that was it was kind of
56:48selfishly motivated. I was just like,
56:50you know, but when you sing with people,
56:52that choir energy, that vibration
56:55is very um
56:57and healing and very um community. It's
57:02like it's just it just gives you that
57:04sense of not being alone. Uh it's really
57:07especially when you blend your voices
57:08into one sound.
57:10>> And um
57:12that was the intent and that's what it
57:14is. And now we might we might move it.
57:16We might do it somewhere else. Yeah, it
57:18was really I mean
57:19>> Cuz it is what you're describing is
57:21literally what
57:23the world needs lots of things,
57:25including Jane jumping on the ramparts,
57:28but it also needs giving people a sense
57:31of community.
57:32>> Uh-huh.
57:33>> Not just because the world is for
57:36up politically, but
57:39because
57:40the you know, technology is leading us
57:43into not feeling community. So, you're
57:46spreading community, you're spreading
57:47that love and hope and everything that
57:49music does just naturally. I think it's
57:52brilliant what you did and I hope you do
57:54do it again.
57:55>> Yeah, and it was in a very um not
57:59like
57:59preachy way. You know what I mean?
58:02>> Yeah.
58:02>> Like you got the message, you get the
58:04message
58:05from your
58:06>> Yeah.
58:06>> from inside without somebody preaching
58:09to you and telling you. It was it really
58:11my husband who's a really good writer,
58:13he just came up he just pieced it all
58:15together.
58:15>> Yeah, which is brilliant because music
58:17penetrates everybody, but if you have uh
58:19you put up an opinion out there, then
58:22you get push back, you know.
58:24>> 100%.
58:25>> Yeah.
58:25>> This was I mean it's really how we feel
58:27about the world it's how I feel about
58:28the world. I'm sure you do too. It's
58:29just so divisive, just you know,
58:32split. It's
58:34>> Yep.
58:35>> Yeah.
58:36>> Can I ask you what it supported? Did you
58:38raise money?
58:39>> Is that all right to ask?
58:40>> money. We gave all the proceeds to
58:42Wounded Warriors, which is a vet
58:44>> An amazing organization.
58:45>> organization and then Chirla, which is a
58:48organization for immigrant rights.
58:51And so we Yeah, we donated the whole
58:53thing. We just, you know, it it was
58:56really like we didn't we have no
59:00ambition for it, which was one of the
59:03first things I've done cuz I'm a very
59:05ambitious person create career-wise.
59:09You know, I'm just always like I've just
59:11a little bit like a
59:13this step leads to
59:14So, this was a real lesson in doing
59:16something just for the sake of doing it.
59:18This was not about getting it somewhere,
59:21making it something.
59:23>> I kind of feel that's what I'm doing
59:25with this podcast for me.
59:26>> Oh, I bet.
59:27>> I mean, of course, you know,
59:29the lure was, "Oh my god, there's a pot
59:31of gold in these things." But that was,
59:33you know, 20 years ago or something. And
59:36when you go, "Oh, no, it's that's not
59:37it." And then I think about it going
59:40away or, you know, not doing it or it
59:42would make me very sad because I get to
59:45hum a note.
59:46>> Yeah.
59:47>> That's my note in life and hopefully
59:49that it's a
59:51like your music, you know, something
59:54that is hopeful and
59:56>> And we're speaking. We're We're human
59:57beings talking to each other, you know.
1:00:00Yes. I That's why I like Kurt and I have
1:00:03a podcast that's nowhere near this sort
1:00:06of pro level. We do it in our house.
1:00:09And and when people want to do it on
1:00:10Zoom, I'm like, "Yeah, okay.
1:00:14If we have to." But I I much prefer
1:00:18It's all
1:00:19talking to people cuz we're we don't we
1:00:21don't we're not super social other than
1:00:23sort of in our little recovery
1:00:25communities.
1:00:26And um so it's been really great. So I
1:00:29understand that. Just to
1:00:32talk and shoot the It's great.
1:00:34>> I like you, Kate.
1:00:35>> Oh, Ted.
1:00:37>> This is going to be fun.
1:00:39>> I think it's going to be really fun.
1:00:40Yes. And
1:00:42I mean, I felt very like immediate when
1:00:44I met You know, I'm sort of one of those
1:00:46people that um
1:00:48most people um
1:00:51tell me their life stories really
1:00:52quickly.
1:00:53>> [laughter]
1:00:54>> When I meet people and um because I
1:00:57don't know why I don't know why. It's
1:00:59but it's kind of like how Remember Rob
1:01:01sat with us and
1:01:03>> Yeah.
1:01:03>> Yeah.
1:01:03>> Yeah, he did. That was very sweet. I
1:01:05kind of came in at the tail end of that.
1:01:07>> That was Yeah.
1:01:08>> Yeah.
1:01:09>> Felt safe.
1:01:10>> My first mentor, I walked in and his
1:01:13depth of uh
1:01:15pain that he came back from, you know,
1:01:19was like, "Well, why am I
1:01:22not going to open up
1:01:23>> Absolutely.
1:01:24>> real if this person is sharing, you
1:01:26know, the depths of real, you know? I
1:01:29So, I think that's why people share.
1:01:31>> Maybe. And I'm also nosy. I ask a lot of
1:01:33questions.
1:01:35>> [laughter]
1:01:36>> I'm really I I I sort of, you know,
1:01:39sometimes inappropriately. Like, I'll
1:01:40meet somebody, I'll just be like right
1:01:42into their personal life, you know? Got
1:01:44a girlfriend? Got a boyfriend? What's
1:01:45up?
1:01:46And, you know, it's it sometimes it's
1:01:49intrusive, but most times I find people
1:01:51are happy to talk about themselves.
1:01:53>> Yeah.
1:01:54>> You know, they really like that. And
1:01:56plus, you know, when you're around the
1:01:57I'm not good at small talk. I I don't
1:01:59even know what small talk is.
1:02:01>> her. I mean, really terrifies.
1:02:03>> Yeah. I I I get that. I'm not
1:02:05[clears throat] sure even exactly what
1:02:07that
1:02:08is. I I don't know.
1:02:11You know, if somebody says to you, "How
1:02:12are you?"
1:02:14and your statement is always fine,
1:02:17that feels a little ingenuous to me.
1:02:20Like, I I think I think the answer is
1:02:23like, "Well, today's okay."
1:02:25But
1:02:27you know, I I think for me
1:02:30So
1:02:31>> No, I
1:02:32Yeah, and and also that Yeah, you you
1:02:34>> We've met at like things.
1:02:36>> I guess so because she said to please
1:02:38give you
1:02:39>> Yes.
1:02:40>> her best.
1:02:41>> Yeah. We've met like backstage at some
1:02:43blah blah blah. So um
1:02:46>> yeah, yeah. I think there is a kindred
1:02:47something because she has a lot of
1:02:47respect for you.
1:02:48>> That's great. Well
1:02:49>> Yeah.
1:02:50>> She plays music.
1:02:51>> wouldn't have let me be with you on
1:02:53film, you know.
1:02:54>> [laughter]
1:02:55>> Does she have that kind of say? No.
1:02:57>> No.
1:02:58>> No.
1:02:58>> No, she doesn't.
1:03:01Well, you know what?
1:03:03>> Mhm.
1:03:04>> The rest will will will be in front of a
1:03:07camera.
1:03:07>> That's right. And more will be revealed.
1:03:09>> Yeah, you're very kind to come in and do
1:03:11this. I really appreciate it.
1:03:14Selfishly for the podcast, I'm saying I
1:03:17really appreciate it. But I I love that
1:03:19we got to do this.
1:03:21>> I know.
1:03:22I think it'll help us out.
1:03:23>> Because on a set, there is by necessity
1:03:25sometimes small talk.
1:03:27>> Right.
1:03:27>> Or talk us interrupt us, you know, you
1:03:30don't get to always go there.
1:03:33>> And that's a good one. Talk us interrupt
1:03:35>> interrupt us. Very good. Yes.
1:03:37>> So I I really feel
1:03:40Yeah. Because we our characters do like
1:03:43each other.
1:03:43>> Yeah. We do like each other.
1:03:45>> Yeah. And respect each other.
1:03:47>> also started so quickly that it's good
1:03:49to
1:03:51you know, have a have a bonding
1:03:53experience.
1:03:54>> Yes, I agree.
1:03:54>> So that we, you know,
1:03:56>> Cuz we can't go out and have a drink
1:03:57together and consider that bonding,
1:03:59which it never was by the way.
1:04:01>> I like to eat.
1:04:02>> [laughter]
1:04:04>> Thank you.
1:04:04>> Thank you.
1:04:05>> Yeah.

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