June 4, 2023 — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:01okay
2. 0:02hi Molly it's nice to meet you nice to
3. 0:05meet you
4. 0:07so um I'm out with your mom uh she kind
5. 0:10of gave me some background kind of
6. 0:12answered some questions just gave me a
7. 0:14place to start
8. 0:16um so I wanted to meet with you by
9. 0:19yourself just to kind of get your take
10. 0:22on what's going on
11. 0:24um
12. 0:25excuse my dog uh he's my therapy dog
13. 0:30uh so
14. 0:33he's not much
15. 0:36of a therapy dog sometimes so uh if I
16. 0:41have to let them out or get you about
17. 0:43the room or something you know
18. 0:45if he gets to doing stuff and makes you
19. 0:48laugh
20. 0:49uh
21. 0:50I apologize okay okay
22. 0:54all right
23. 0:55um so I like to meet with
24. 0:58um especially when I have teenagers who
25. 1:00were getting older and more independent
26. 1:03um I like to meet with their parents
27. 1:06first they kind of get some information
28. 1:07but I want to meet with you by yourself
29. 1:10because I hear what mom has to say but
30. 1:14at the end of the day who who's gonna be
31. 1:17the client if you continue to come here
32. 1:20me you so what you have to say what you
33. 1:24have to think is really the most
34. 1:26important thing to me right and I don't
35. 1:30want you to feel like maybe you're a
36. 1:32contradicting mom or you don't agree
37. 1:33with something that she said so it's
38. 1:35just kind of easier to keep you all
39. 1:36separate
40. 1:37kind of in the beginning so
41. 1:41um all right so
42. 1:43why did Mom bring you why does she think
43. 1:46you need to see me I mean I think it's
44. 1:48because the teasing I'm not 100 sure
45. 1:51like this was her idea wasn't really my
46. 1:53idea but um I think it's just from like
47. 1:58teasing at school
48. 2:00um but again this was not really
49. 2:03I mean she never gave me like a straight
50. 2:05up reason of why okay I'm here
51. 2:08so what kind of season
52. 2:10um it's really mainly among like my
53. 2:13friends or like acquaintances like
54. 2:16because they keep telling me that I'm
55. 2:19not Hispanic for some reason I don't
56. 2:21really know why but
57. 2:23they keep teasing me for it when I tell
58. 2:25them that I am but
59. 2:28like people just started being mean by
60. 2:31around like we started like around like
61. 2:33sixth grade or something
62. 2:35so you tell them that you're Hispanic
63. 2:37yet
64. 2:39so how long have you been telling people
65. 2:42that you're in Spanish I mean as long as
66. 2:44I can I mean I Was Born This Way
67. 2:48whatever you start I guess kind of
68. 2:50realizing that I mean like you don't
69. 2:52like think of it as a kid but I guess I
70. 2:54should get his first to other people but
71. 2:56I mean that's what I'm talking about
72. 2:57yeah
73. 2:59your mom said that um
74. 3:02you've been saying that you heard
75. 3:04Spanish since you were pretty young
76. 3:08so
77. 3:12the kids are did the kids always teach
78. 3:14you
79. 3:15no I mean again it's not like something
80. 3:18you pay attention to kindergarten when
81. 3:21you're mainly just concerned about like
82. 3:22something
83. 3:26um
84. 3:26but I think like
85. 3:29as Middle School came around and like
86. 3:32asked people
87. 3:33foreign
88. 3:45I mean it kind of depends on where the
89. 3:47teasing is coming from if it's coming
90. 3:49from like someone I don't really know
91. 3:51you know because I don't really take
92. 3:53much
93. 3:54like oh my I don't really put a lot of
94. 3:56weight into their opinion I think
95. 3:58um but if it's coming from like one of
96. 3:59my closer friends especially like one of
97. 4:01my best friends then it kind of
98. 4:03hurts a little bit more but like it also
99. 4:05depends on how they do it like if they
100. 4:06do it and
101. 4:07what is clearly a jerking way but if
102. 4:09sometimes it just hits a little close to
103. 4:11home so I guess then I kind of but
104. 4:12otherwise I would say most of the time
105. 4:14then okay
106. 4:16all right
107. 4:18um so yeah that was one of the mom's
108. 4:20biggest concerns
109. 4:22um was that the kids teasing you
110. 4:25um and this is kind of something that
111. 4:27has has started now that you're in
112. 4:29Middle School
113. 4:30um
114. 4:31and she did say that sometimes it
115. 4:34bothers you that sometimes it seems like
116. 4:36it does
117. 4:38um and now that there's teasing and you
118. 4:40seem to be bothered by it sometimes
119. 4:42um I think her and her dad have
120. 4:45really gotten some concerns because you
121. 4:48know they don't want to see you continue
122. 4:50down a road where you're going to be
123. 4:51teased and made fun of and hurt and
124. 4:54that's a big thing they don't want to
125. 4:55see you get hurt
126. 4:58um
127. 5:01so
128. 5:03I'm just curious
129. 5:05why can't they make a big deal out of
130. 5:07you saying you're Hispanic what do they
131. 5:10say about it I mean they keep telling me
132. 5:12that I'm not either but like I just
133. 5:14really I don't know why they keep it in
134. 5:16such a big deal of it okay like I've
135. 5:18always been this way they've always
136. 5:19known that
137. 5:20but I don't know why they keep like
138. 5:22putting so much attention to it I don't
139. 5:24really know why they make a big deal I
140. 5:26don't think it's a big deal are they
141. 5:28Hispanic
142. 5:29no
143. 5:31no okay
144. 5:35can Tennessee where they may be kind of
145. 5:38confused because if you're their child
146. 5:41and they're not Hispanic but you feel
147. 5:43like you are
148. 5:45like they're just kind of like
149. 5:47how how that
150. 5:49well I mean
151. 5:51genes can like skip over people
152. 5:54like some jeans like you can have like
153. 5:57a blue-eyed parent and a brown eyed
154. 5:59parent you can get like a completely
155. 6:01different color I had right like so
156. 6:03jeans can skip over and I'm way darker
157. 6:05than they are so I mean like I mean like
158. 6:07you can see me now like I'm darker than
159. 6:08my mom
160. 6:10Okay so
161. 6:13yeah I see your lines are yeah pretty
162. 6:16dark yeah
163. 6:18so did your sister get dark too
164. 6:20not as dark as maybe though okay so
165. 6:23maybe
166. 6:25what's skipped over and you got she
167. 6:27didn't right right okay
168. 6:29how does that make you feel among your
169. 6:31family life
170. 6:32the three of them are not who you are I
171. 6:35mean it kind of like
172. 6:36again it's kind of just like something
173. 6:38that I think you learned to like accept
174. 6:40over time but I think for a long time it
175. 6:42was kind of like on the outside of him
176. 6:43especially because like my sister
177. 6:45especially will like sometimes make a
178. 6:47joke or something about it and that was
179. 6:49like kind of difficult especially as
180. 6:51like before you can kind of
181. 6:54get some thicker skin yeah but I mean
182. 6:57it's kind of just how it is now so I
183. 6:58don't really pay much attention to it so
184. 7:04um
185. 7:09so now that you're older and you're
186. 7:11getting teased and sometimes it can
187. 7:12bother you especially when it's somebody
188. 7:14that's a little bit closer to you
189. 7:17um has it ever made you feel like
190. 7:19wanting to hurt yourself or no okay
191. 7:23that's it it's never made you feel that
192. 7:26bad you know I mean I just kind of have
193. 7:27to like there's a day where like it does
194. 7:29kind of
195. 7:31like kind of get me down a little bit I
196. 7:33think I just kind of need to like get
197. 7:34away from it so after I go home and kind
198. 7:36of like decompress it's pretty much
199. 7:38over like it's very fleeting okay
200. 7:42and I think some of the concern is
201. 7:45girls are vicious
202. 7:48Middle School girls and I'll tell you
203. 7:50the truth there's not enough money in
204. 7:52the world
205. 7:53pay me to go back to middle school girls
206. 7:56are making yeah so so knowing how girls
207. 8:00can be very mean
208. 8:02um
209. 8:03and how much in a normal stage of
210. 8:07development at 13 is social acceptance
211. 8:11right
212. 8:13um
213. 8:14I think some of the concern too is how
214. 8:17much is it really getting to you and you
215. 8:19know
216. 8:22teenage suicide rates or kind of going
217. 8:26up especially after covet I don't know
218. 8:28what the world coded covet has just sent
219. 8:31everything in chaos right yeah
220. 8:34um so
221. 8:35you know as we work together there may
222. 8:38be some times I might check in with you
223. 8:40on that again just in case things get
224. 8:43worse at school or or whatever to make
225. 8:46sure you feel comfortable us talking
226. 8:49about that
227. 8:50and and now that I mentioned that let me
228. 8:53just say
229. 8:54so one of the things I want to make sure
230. 8:57you understand how this works is
231. 9:01we have what's called confidentiality do
232. 9:05you know what confidentiality means so
233. 9:07you can't tell people what happened like
234. 9:10what I said
235. 9:11that everything stays product
236. 9:13yeah
237. 9:14so what happens if Mom and Dad's paying
238. 9:17the bills and they're the ones that want
239. 9:19you to come and they're like oh I want
240. 9:21to know how she's doing and what did she
241. 9:23say
242. 9:24what happens then
243. 9:27so here are some exceptions to the rule
244. 9:31if you tell me that you're going to hurt
245. 9:34yourself
246. 9:36hurt somebody else
247. 9:39or someone is currently hurting you
248. 9:42then I am required by a wall
249. 9:46to protect you okay and so sometimes the
250. 9:49only way I can protect you is I may have
251. 9:52to speak up and say something to them
252. 9:53okay but I would never say anything
253. 9:56without telling me first
254. 9:59um
255. 10:01if Mom and Dad really just want updates
256. 10:05I try to
257. 10:07help the parents kind of ease any
258. 10:09worries
259. 10:11um if it's okay with you what I
260. 10:14typically do is just say hey
261. 10:17she's doing a great job participating
262. 10:18she's really opening up I think we're
263. 10:21kind of getting to some things or she's
264. 10:23not right we're still
265. 10:26kind of
266. 10:27scratching the surface
267. 10:29um and I just give them a very Broad
268. 10:34summary of how things are going but I'd
269. 10:36never tell them details okay is that
270. 10:39okay yeah okay and you know if we'll see
271. 10:43how Mom does as this gets going and if
272. 10:45she's the one who wants a detail the
273. 10:47second we walked up at the lobby after
274. 10:48every single session then what I'll do
275. 10:50is the last thing you and I'll do is
276. 10:53we'll go over what my summary is so that
277. 10:55you're well aware of what I'm going to
278. 10:56say before I get out there deal
279. 11:00I just want you to feel safe in here
280. 11:02right
281. 11:04um and feel comfortable telling me
282. 11:06anything okay all right
283. 11:10um so when I want to wear those three
284. 11:11things that um I would have to tell
285. 11:15somebody the third one was if somebody's
286. 11:18currently hurting you
287. 11:20um that is one thing I forgot to ask
288. 11:22your mom
289. 11:24um do you have is there ever been a time
290. 11:27that history where like you were being
291. 11:30abused like physically
292. 11:33sexually
293. 11:35like mentally
294. 11:38I mean pretty stable household so no
295. 11:41okay so everything's good all right even
296. 11:45extended family because you know you can
297. 11:47be abused by people outside of your
298. 11:49immediate family nothing in school
299. 11:53all right
300. 11:55um
301. 11:57so tell me
302. 12:02[Music]
303. 12:04what are some strengths and weaknesses
304. 12:07tell me some things that you're really
305. 12:09really good at doing
306. 12:11uh well I think I'm like pretty smart
307. 12:13and I can't think of a pretty good
308. 12:15crypto like I write strategies and stuff
309. 12:18um
310. 12:19and I think I'm decent at soccer
311. 12:22um I've just been playing for so long
312. 12:24um
313. 12:26I mean
314. 12:28like in terms of just like
315. 12:30again like going back to school just
316. 12:32psychological
317. 12:34stuff and like probably well liked
318. 12:37person I think so this doesn't really
319. 12:42do you have anything you think you need
320. 12:44to work on
321. 12:45um
322. 12:46I mean
323. 12:48yeah definitely I think it's like
324. 12:50probably like developing like
325. 12:55a life outside of like talking to
326. 12:57affected most of my time okay but I
327. 12:59think probably like just hanging out on
328. 13:01weekends and stuff
329. 13:02art
330. 13:06so knowing why Mom and Dad really wanted
331. 13:08you to come
332. 13:10um and you said you were really smart
333. 13:12and I'm sitting here thinking when I
334. 13:15asked you about
335. 13:16you know why you feel like you're
336. 13:18Hispanic and how is it that Mom and Dad
337. 13:20aren't but if you are and you
338. 13:23immediately jumped the jeans
339. 13:26and I'm thinking
340. 13:27all right yep that is not a typical
341. 13:31response of the 13 year old so clearly
342. 13:34you are
343. 13:35pretty smart kid
344. 13:38um now obviously I don't think when you
345. 13:40were like your mom talking about she's
346. 13:42talking I think there may have been a
347. 13:44part of your mom that was like you
348. 13:46really like Dora the Explorer yeah and
349. 13:49like did that Trigger or something and
350. 13:52whether it did or whether it didn't you
351. 13:54know if you were young enough to be
352. 13:56watching Dora
353. 13:58um I'm pretty confident you probably
354. 14:00didn't know about him yeah jeans and
355. 14:01skipping right
356. 14:04um
357. 14:05so
358. 14:08do you remember back when you were
359. 14:11little like was there any rationale that
360. 14:14you made that you told yourself as to
361. 14:16why you were different I mean I just
362. 14:19kind of like I guess I just always kind
363. 14:21of like identified
364. 14:22with
365. 14:25like Hispanic culture and Hispanic
366. 14:27people like shows like Dora and like you
367. 14:30know playing soccer like that's almost
368. 14:32like a really big sport among like
369. 14:34Hispanic communities and stuff and
370. 14:37um like it's relative like it's not
371. 14:40crazy diverse but it's I'm relatively
372. 14:42diverse area like I always get along
373. 14:45really well with Hispanic people and
374. 14:47their families and stuff however like I
375. 14:49met like a mom or dad or something so
376. 14:51okay I think I just kind of like
377. 14:53meshed well with them nice
378. 14:57and so for you that just makes sense
379. 14:59yeah like it just seemed kind of like
380. 15:01obvious to me okay
381. 15:03and you talk about you know your skin
382. 15:06being dark
383. 15:08um
384. 15:09I'm guessing that maybe your sister I
385. 15:11know you said your parents aren't that
386. 15:13dark but I'm assuming like maybe your
387. 15:14sister
388. 15:15doesn't get dark like you either
389. 15:18okay
390. 15:20so that was another
391. 15:21maybe rationale that you made a reason
392. 15:24why yeah is because you did and they
393. 15:28don't right and your complexion
394. 15:31aligns more with Hispanic people right
395. 15:35okay
396. 15:36all right
397. 15:38and then you've got a science class and
398. 15:41you start to learn about genes and you
399. 15:43went ha yeah you kind of got some more
400. 15:47reasoning and harder evidence
401. 15:50that
402. 15:52it could be right
403. 15:54all right
404. 15:57so this is the whole reason that Mom and
405. 16:00Dad want you to come in to work on this
406. 16:03and make sure that you're okay and kind
407. 16:06of maybe work through the season and how
408. 16:08to handle that before it gets too bad
409. 16:10and
410. 16:11maybe it starts weigh in on you
411. 16:14um what would you like the gold to be
412. 16:17would you like to continue to come and
413. 16:20if so what do you think you would want
414. 16:22to work on I mean
415. 16:24I don't really care I mean like I don't
416. 16:28really know
417. 16:29what therapy could really accomplish
418. 16:31again there's like not one idea to be
419. 16:34here
420. 16:34um
421. 16:36thank you um I mean like it was just
422. 16:40like I don't really know what
423. 16:43a girl can even really be here like
424. 16:46going to know what therapy could
425. 16:47accomplish to
426. 16:49start get other people to stop doing
427. 16:51something
428. 16:52okay and truthfully
429. 16:56um you can't make anybody do anything
430. 17:00right the the only behavior and actions
431. 17:04that you can control assumes is your own
432. 17:07yeah so
433. 17:10really I think at the end of the day
434. 17:13um
435. 17:14part of what you know I could do is help
436. 17:18you continue to rationalize
437. 17:22um
438. 17:26not arguing with you that you're not
439. 17:28Hispanic
440. 17:30But continuing to kind of
441. 17:33rationalize that out and kind of have
442. 17:36that yes and no column reasons why and
443. 17:39reasons no
444. 17:41um
445. 17:42you decide for yourself you know based
446. 17:46on everything that we come up with all
447. 17:48the evidence for and all the evidence
448. 17:50for not
449. 17:52um
450. 17:53and then how do you how to handle
451. 17:57the teaser and and how can
452. 18:00um you
453. 18:03what are some things that you can do to
454. 18:06not let that get out of control
455. 18:11um
456. 18:13because with with girls being so mean
457. 18:17um it definitely has the makings of
458. 18:21something that
459. 18:23could really really impact your social
460. 18:26life
461. 18:28um
462. 18:29you know from your soccer team to your
463. 18:31classes to just
464. 18:34I mean kids start getting teased and
465. 18:36stuff they don't want to go to school
466. 18:38they start not liking themselves their
467. 18:41confidence goes down and we just don't
468. 18:43want to see any of that happen so part
469. 18:45of it maybe being to kind of help you
470. 18:47figure out
471. 18:48how to stop that and what to do when it
472. 18:51happens
473. 18:53um to try to limit
474. 18:57what do you think about that
475. 18:59I'm like yeah I guess like that kind of
476. 19:01makes a little more sense to me just
477. 19:03kind of like paints a better picture of
478. 19:05and but I'm still kind of a bit
479. 19:08different like I'm not like opposed to
480. 19:10continuing but I'm not like
481. 19:13hold up an advocate for it either
482. 19:15so one thing that always keeps me mind
483. 19:18right I'm not here to fix anything I
484. 19:20don't have a magic wand I can't just
485. 19:22snap and make everybody happy and make
486. 19:25you know any problem go away
487. 19:29my biggest thing is going to be me and
488. 19:31you putting our heads together and
489. 19:33figuring out how to move forward
490. 19:37um sometimes I may make suggestions and
491. 19:39say hey why don't you try X Y and Z and
492. 19:41you may come back and be like that did
493. 19:43not work come here normal
494. 19:45kind of figure out and go a different
495. 19:47Road
496. 19:48sound good
497. 19:50all right
498. 19:52um
499. 19:53so tell you what let's uh walk out to
500. 19:56the lobby I will bring my
501. 19:58um appointment book with me
502. 20:01and why don't we schedule another
503. 20:03appointment to kind of meet again in
504. 20:08maybe a week
505. 20:10does that sound good no all right all
506. 20:13right so let's go out and find Mom okay
507. 20:16foreign