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July 8, 2026 — Transcript

by Mason Briggs · 14,934 words · 2,178 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:53I mean conversation without distractions
0:55just for like
1:02>> no I
1:25Well, I just wanted to come and have a
1:28conversation with you because I think I
1:31wasn't really able to
1:42like
1:50I just want a conversation where like
1:53family's on our own. We're not recording
1:55each other. for just like having a heart
1:58to heart because um
2:01I wrote like
2:04I not the best remembering to say but
2:08first I just wanted to apologize for
2:12past few days and everything not just
2:14past few days but just everything in
2:17general and I heard I like took a lot of
2:21what you said on Friday at your parents
2:25and I've really reflected on it and I'm
2:29not sure where you're at or why you talk
2:33and honest with me and I really hope
2:36that like that you are
2:40like like just our sake and for Levi's
2:42sake I just hope you can be honest with
2:45me. So first before I get into what I
2:48want to say I just wanted to see like
2:52how you're doing and
2:57the hard thing. I'm not
3:02like it's been a it's it's just been one
3:05thing after another and it sends back to
3:07like why am I always am I always the one
3:10that's wrong? Why am I always doing
3:12something?
3:14It stems back from even before that.
3:17It was back when we were like engaged
3:20and I saw early signs that you honestly
3:24you acted exactly like your mother, but
3:26I was blinded.
3:29I was blinded by it because I knew what
3:31I wanted. I wanted to
3:36kind of let it go because it was either
3:39like
3:41or something happened where I just
3:43didn't know
3:45I just didn't know what to do at that
3:48point and I just figured it would get
3:50better because you were going to therapy
3:52on certain things but you never really
3:59>> you never really planted
4:01to let it grow. You just kind of you
4:04took it and it was a day or two and then
4:07it would revert back.
4:11It It sucked cuz I let a lot of things
4:17go, but it built up to a point where I
4:24I now like I know a lot of [ __ ] that
4:26happened with my family that I just
4:31It I was jaw dropped
4:35how I understood like
4:39the baby shower. What happened?
4:45How
4:47every time like I was alone
4:50or you were alone with me,
4:53it painted you and you painted yourself
4:57in this like way where
4:59you didn't really tell the full truth
5:02and you kind of just painted yourself to
5:05try and be on top and made me the bad
5:09guy. There was a lot of times like that.
5:11I've noticed a lot of it and just having
5:15honest conversation with my family,
5:17understanding kind of what was said and
5:19what was done and
5:21like
5:27I'm starting to ramble, but going back
5:29through like
5:31I hear
5:34I know myself and I know that
5:41I know that I want to consistently work
5:43things out. I really do.
5:48The hard thing is is when I don't get
5:49the chance to
5:52>> so consistent yelling, consistent
5:55arguing
5:57after especially after a long day of
5:59work.
6:03But
6:06where I'm at is just I saw a lot of
6:09early onset of what
6:13was going to happen down the road,
6:17but I kind of just let it go because I
6:19know I wanted a family. That goes back
6:21to our conversations where I would be
6:23like, you do a lot of lot of things that
6:26bother me, but I also understand
6:33I know it's not worth arguing over
6:35because I just let it go. Because at the
6:37end of the day, I just know
6:40at the end of the day, I just know that
6:43I wanted to have that family, but you
6:47didn't want to run. you wanted to bring
6:50up everything and then then I would try
6:52and do better if it be enough.
6:56>> So I I'm at a crossroads because I I
7:00just know like you know
7:03I know I want the family and I know I I
7:07want I want my I want my kids like I do.
7:13I would never want you to take me to
7:16California. And for you to tell him that
7:19I would never see him again and he would
7:21take me to California if I wanted a week
7:24to think about something, live separate
7:25for a bit.
7:27>> And for you to say, I will go to
7:29California and you will never effing see
7:31your kid again. Like those were your
7:34words.
7:36>> And you used our kid as leverage.
7:39>> And I'm sorry. And I do want to say that
7:41I
7:43like was in such a state of mind because
7:46you were just sad that you wanted to
7:48divorce me and when I said that no tears
7:53there nothing that
7:56I visibly showed that you were that
8:00upset. It was just hopeless. You You
8:04were upset and I don't know if you were
8:06upset because you were about to lose me
8:09or you're about to lose a husband.
8:12I just don't know if it was that. I
8:15think it was more of you're starting to
8:18panic that you
8:21still wouldn't know. And I think it like
8:24I've told you like we've had
8:26conversations about this a long time ago
8:29when we were first I think engaged. When
8:33I was when I was close to calling it off
8:36and I ran off and I went over to Roger
8:38and Robbins, my parents come to talk to
8:39me about it. I came back and I just told
8:41you what I was thinking. I didn't say
8:43anything what my said,
8:45>> but I said it seems like you deflect a
8:48lot.
8:48>> So like regardless of what
8:51is said, regardless of how I come at it
8:55at you, you deflect. And you said it
9:00stems from when your sister would do
9:03something,
9:05you somehow would always get in trouble
9:07and you would just be like, "No, no, it
9:08was her. She was the one that did it. It
9:10wasn't me."
9:12And you need to know that that carries
9:15now into our relationship. Like
9:18>> I try and bring up like even if you had
9:21a feeling, I try and give you like
9:24my reasonings on why, which are valid
9:26reasons. every single one of my reasons
9:27are valid
9:29and I bring up my valid reasoning and
9:34I just get no it's not it's not my fault
9:37and then the crappy thing is is you say
9:39it's me and then you use leverage on me
9:43you use my feelings against me
9:46>> you use what I
9:48I came to my wife for to understand like
9:51hey these are my feelings about
9:53something and you use it as ammo
9:56I think it's been a lot harder on me
9:58than I thought being like
10:01not only like away from like friends but
10:05like family too. Like I really you are
10:08my only person here and your family is
10:10my only here and I feel like I hear what
10:16you're saying and I agree with what
10:18you're saying and I don't want you to
10:19think that I'm ignoring it but Levi
10:23aside right now I I kind of want to see
10:26that's why one of the reasons I didn't
10:28bring him right now was because I want
10:31to like talk to you because Levi is
10:34another factor. But he's not the only
10:38factor. Like you and I got married. This
10:41relationship is between you and me. And
10:44I want to just know more about like
10:47I know you say like with you want to
10:51make it work. You don't want to leave
10:52him but I want to know more about like
10:57me and I know I have a lot to do and a
11:00lot to work on
11:02and I I just want to know more about
11:06like
11:09I guess my question is like I know you
11:12said you want to make it work part of
11:14you does for Levi but if Levi wasn't
11:18here or just Levi wasn't in the future
11:20right now
11:22I would like to know where you're
11:24standing And then I would like to read
11:26you kind of what I wrote and what I've
11:29thought about since I've been living
11:31without you and just had to do with you
11:33being gone practically overnight and how
11:38I've been treated.
11:40I I took Levi out of the factory and I
11:42said go back to California.
11:44>> I already did this.
11:46>> I didn't know that. I don't know
11:48>> you. Well, I wouldn't send Levi to
11:50California. But understanding that
11:54you've used
11:56let's
12:00like if we
12:06>> if we had Levi out of the picture of
12:08this,
12:08>> we moved through something together in
12:12the relationship. You got to understand
12:15like
12:20>> you got to understand like if it was
12:25if there was no Levi,
12:28I still would have came to the sink to
12:30leave is I put out and waited for so
12:34long to make sure that you were happy. I
12:38waited for so long to try and bend over
12:40backwards to try and make you happy to
12:44try and be more intimate every day and
12:46try and it's you would always say no
12:49it's not try it's do it's not it's
12:52literally try
12:54>> I understand that it wasn't fair to you
12:56and I've since reflected and that's why
12:59I wrote what I wrote and I wanted to say
13:02because I realized that I've been like
13:05placing the blame on you and I have not
13:09ever really looked at myself
13:13and heard what you're saying until
13:16unfortunately like I was placed in this
13:18predicament where you just left
13:21overnight and I kind of had to face it
13:25like I know I made in the past a lot of
13:28like or recent more recently like a lot
13:31of threats about like oh I'll just
13:33divorce you I'll just find somebody else
13:35and I realized like that wasn't fair to
13:37you and I can't imagine like how you
13:40must have helped because
13:43me trying to figure out how to like
13:47move forward in life without you is
13:51something I just can't wrap my head
13:53around and
13:56throughout everything throughout you
13:58like like this past weekend
14:03this has been the worst weekend of my
14:05life and
14:09I just want you to know that I Still, I
14:12still love you so much. More than
14:14anyone, like more than Levi. Honestly,
14:17Levi wouldn't be here if I didn't love
14:20you. And every time I look at Levi,
14:25he's just not the same without you.
14:30And I wanted to read what I wrote
14:35in hopes that not to convince you of
14:37anything, but just to tell you like
14:41what I'm feeling because I feel like I
14:43was never able to. And on Friday, I feel
14:45like I wasn't able to because I didn't
14:48realize what life would be like without
14:50you until you left.
14:54So, I
14:58think it's kind of long, but
15:02I just thought it was worth something.
15:06So,
15:08first, thank you for meeting with me
15:10today. I know it wasn't easy and I know
15:14that you're really upset with me and I
15:18appreciate you coming and being willing
15:19to talk.
15:21And before I say anything, I want to say
15:24I'm truly sorry that you've been feeling
15:26unhappy and struggling for so long. And
15:29I honestly didn't know that that was the
15:32case.
15:33Over the last few days, I spent a lot of
15:35time thinking about what you told me. I
15:37haven't just been thinking about my own
15:38hurt. I've been trying to understand
15:40exactly what you're saying and your own
15:42hurt, too. Looking back, I see what
15:46you're saying that things started to go
15:48down south during the engagement and
15:53more especially around the time I got
15:56pregnant, which was right after we got
15:58married. I don't want to make excuses
16:00for the way I've treated you, but I do
16:02want you to understand where I was
16:03emotionally.
16:05Being pregnant was one of the hardest,
16:07scariest things I've ever gone through.
16:10Every day I was terrified. terrified of
16:13misarrying, terrified I wouldn't be able
16:16to give you the family that you
16:17deserved. Terrified because I could
16:20barely eat without getting sick. And I
16:22was all alone. Terrified how my body had
16:25changed and thinking you'd hate it.
16:27Terrified about how we were going to
16:29raise a baby with so little money and no
16:31family support nearby.
16:33And by that, I mean my own. And
16:36terrified for my own health after nearly
16:37dying during the pregnancy.
16:40You and I at the end of that pregnancy
16:41were both so stressed and just praying
16:44that the baby was going to be okay and
16:45that everything was going to be okay.
16:49Looking back, I realized I put a lot of
16:50pressure on you because I was looking
16:52for someone safe and reassure me that
16:54everything was going to be okay and you
16:56were the only person I had. That wasn't
16:59fair to put all on your shoulders and I
17:01know I took out a lot of my fear and
17:03frustration on you and I'm truly sorry
17:05for that.
17:07I also reflected and realized that I
17:09could have contributed more financially
17:11if my health had allowed it. I felt so
17:13helpless because every time I tried to
17:15work while I was pregnant, I became
17:17sicker. I hated feeling like I couldn't
17:19do more for our family and I saw you
17:22struggling. And I think that
17:23helplessness turned into frustration
17:26that I sometimes directed at you. None
17:29of this is meant to excuse my behavior.
17:31I just want you to know that it never
17:33came from a lack of love for you.
17:36It came from fear, feeling overwhelmed
17:37and feeling like I couldn't do anything
17:39I wanted to.
17:42Anyways, I became overwhelmed by fear
17:45about her finances and how we were going
17:46to make everything work. I became more
17:49distant and depressed because I didn't
17:51have my family around and I was worried
17:54about my own dad's health after having a
17:56few more cancer scares.
17:58Then we moved to California so I could
18:00have that support and I know that was
18:01incredibly hard and from there on out we
18:04started arguing more and more. Looking
18:06back I can see that we were both
18:08carrying so much weight in different
18:09ways.
18:11For the past year we lived under
18:13incredible amounts of stress. We were
18:15preparing to become first time parents
18:16worrying about money constantly moving
18:19and trying to survive a pregnancy that
18:21was incredibly difficult and scary. We
18:23both hurt each other at times and I
18:25don't think either of us fully
18:26understood what other was carrying. When
18:28I look back on everything we've been
18:30through, I realized something that
18:32surprised me. Even through all the
18:34arguments, the tears, and the stress, my
18:36love for you grew. I actually I think
18:39what faded was how we were treating each
18:41other. We stopped dating each other and
18:44having fun and listening to each other.
18:46I think I understand now what you meant
18:48when you talked about the difference
18:50between loving someone and liking being
18:51around them.
18:53I don't know exactly what you've been
18:55feeling or how long you felt it. And I'm
18:58not here to argue with your feelings. I
19:00genuinely want to understand them. I
19:02want to know what this past year has
19:03been like for you because I don't think
19:05I've understood as well as I should
19:07have. Since you've been gone, I've
19:09realized how much our lives changed
19:10overnight. I miss you and I know this
19:13has affected all of us, including our
19:15families. You is only 3 months old, and
19:17I imagine us raising him together. He
19:20realizes you are gone. He rode over for
19:23the first time yesterday without any
19:24help. And I wanted to call you and share
19:26the excitement and then I realized I
19:28couldn't.
19:30You said a few days ago that we are your
19:32world and it meant and I meant it when I
19:34said that back.
19:36We both love Levi more than anything and
19:39I know we both want what's best for him.
19:41I would do anything for him and I hope
19:43you would too. My hope has always been
19:46that if it's healthy and possible, we
19:48can give him the chance to grow up with
19:49both of his parents together.
19:52Levi aside, I'm here because I'd like to
19:54fight for our marriage if you're
19:56willing. Not because it's easy and not
19:58just because of Levi, but because I
20:00still love for and I would do anything
20:04to be I was so hurt when you said you
20:07were only crying because of Levi.
20:08Because I always thought our marriage
20:09would come first and that our love for
20:11each other would be strong enough to get
20:12us through anything.
20:14I truly believe that our bond was
20:16unbreakable and that's why all this has
20:19been so hard for me to understand.
20:21My favorite part of the day is waking up
20:23and getting to sleep next to you. The
20:26last few days have been the worst days
20:27of my life. You make me so happy and I'm
20:30sorry I don't tell you more often. I'd
20:32rather do dishes every day for the rest
20:34of my life than lose you. And I know
20:36it's more than just that.
20:38I want to spend my life making you
20:40happy, too. And I realize that I put a
20:42lot of weight on you trying to make me
20:45happy. And I should have been more
20:46focused with your happiness.
20:49I don't want to spend my life scared and
20:51hurt to see your name pop up on my phone
20:53like I have the past few days. I love
20:56you unconditionally and I'm sorry if
20:58I've made you feel like I only loved you
21:00with certain conditions and
21:01expectations.
21:03I'm sorry I ever threatened divorce and
21:06made you feel less than you are.
21:09I will not be the one to give up though.
21:11You've hurt me deeply and I know I've
21:13hurt you too. But I believe two people
21:15who have been through all deserve at
21:17least one honest conversation about
21:19whether there's a way forward.
21:21If there isn't, I'll respect that. But
21:23if there is even a small part of you
21:25that wonders whether this marriage can
21:27be saved, I'm willing to do whatever it
21:29takes. Over the course of the last few
21:31days, open my eyes to what life truly is
21:33like without you. I will get help. I
21:36know we can fix this if you want to.
21:39Therapy, you're building trust, changing
21:41on patterns, time apart, whatever we
21:42need to do. I want to be your wife, the
21:45mother of your child, and your best
21:46friend like I promised.
21:49If we choose to move forward together, I
21:52promise that life will not be the same
21:54that it's been the past year.
21:57Starting now because the last few days
21:59have been hell for me and a huge wakeup
22:01call. And I've finally been able to
22:04truly reflect and hear what you've been
22:06saying this whole time.
22:09I've been selfish and asking more from
22:12you than I've been giving. I set
22:14expectations high because of what you
22:15gave me in the very beginning. And I'm
22:18sorry I kept comparing you. I needed to
22:21learn that you are more important to me
22:22than any other want or need I thought I
22:24had. I'm choosing to put my heart on the
22:27line today because I still believe in us
22:29and because you're worth fighting for. I
22:32would do anything to save our marriage
22:33if you're willing to fight for it, too.
22:36Don't expect us to fix everything today.
22:38I just hope we can be completely honest
22:40with each other and decide our future
22:43after we truly both been hurt.
22:48That's it.
23:06I realized that I haven't been the
23:07person that you
23:10got engaged to
23:13and I'm so sorry.
23:18But I want to be the person
23:28I'm sorry. My own issues and
23:31the way I haven't been able to see
23:35that
23:39hard thing is is like I didn't even
23:43still the same thing like
23:46you tell me this and
23:52I only started up when I hear that he
23:54rolled over.
24:00But you married me for a reason. There
24:02was something in me that you saw.
24:05But I also knew when we were dating
24:09and when we got engaged,
24:13you still did the same things.
24:17You may not see it, but you are very
24:19manipulative
24:21>> and I can get help for that. You dangle
24:24finances above me. You like we use your
24:28dad's money like all the time.
24:30>> You don't have to. I can get a job.
24:32>> The problem is is
24:35I don't I can't compare to that.
24:38>> I can cut my I'm willing to do when I
24:40said I'm going to university. I can cut
24:42my mom up. I can go get a job. Like I
24:44can I can do I can bend over backwards
24:48for you if you want to make it work.
24:53And you
24:53>> what about what about all the things
24:54that you've said to my family on top of
24:56this?
24:57>> But I don't know what you're talking and
24:59I can go apologize to your family, but I
25:01don't know what you're talking about.
25:02>> The shower like the comments that you've
25:04made to baby our shower. Our baby
25:08shower.
25:09>> What did I say to Bailey?
25:10>> You went over to She went over to give
25:11you a hug and you're like, "No."
25:13>> What?
25:13>> And then you went to go sit on the
25:15Mallerie was there too. Mallerie and
25:17Bailey both.
25:19>> Wait, the shower? Yes. Down in the
25:21bathroom.
25:23>> I never went down in the bathroom
25:25>> cuz I went in there.
25:26>> Oh, with doing makeup.
25:30>> So,
25:30>> she said she was she had just vaped and
25:32she was sick.
25:33>> There were
25:33>> she was coughing and I said I said, "No,
25:36that's okay." Like, I'm I just don't
25:37want to get sick.
25:38>> There were things that happened.
25:40>> She was coughing and I was like I She
25:42was like, "I don't feel well to
25:43Mallerie." And I said I said, "Hi,
25:45Bailey." And she was holding the dog.
25:47She was holding honey. And I was like I
25:49was like, "Can I I just like I just
25:50don't want to hug if you think you're
25:52sick."
25:56I would never not hug Bailey. I love
25:57Bailey. I texted her to hang out all the
25:59time.
26:00And she was always working. I love
26:03Bailey.
26:04>> I love your whole family.
26:08>> I was I was blindsided.
26:12>> I love your family so much. they have
26:14done for me and I the only thing I can
26:19think of honestly is the wedding because
26:22the whole thing with the kids and I then
26:26reflected it only took me like a few
26:27weeks to reflect on it and then I called
26:29Michaelia or I sat her down and I was
26:32like you know what I'm so sorry
26:35you're right I think you and your family
26:37can come let's make no the ring bearer
26:40and I apologize for that and I took you
26:42didn't even do that you I didn't even
26:43know I was going to do that. I went to
26:45Michael that night and then you started
26:48crying because you didn't even know I
26:49was going to do that. I did it on my own
26:51terms. I just needed a minute.
26:55>> Are you vaping?
26:56>> Yeah.
26:58>> I had a feeling you were going to do
26:59that. But
27:03>> I know
27:06>> the thing is
27:07>> I can work on it and I know in your
27:09family I'm not trying reflect here, but
27:16every time I've spoken to your mom or
27:19your dad, they've been telling me like
27:22they have issues with Mlan or Bailey or
27:24whatever. It's just I'm not perfect and
27:27I'm willing to go to your family and
27:30speak with each of them who has ever had
27:32an issue with me and realize what I've
27:35done so I can never do it again and I
27:38can work on it. I'm willing to hear each
27:40of them out.
27:43Like, I know this next few months,
27:46whether you don't want to move forward
27:47or you do, are going to be incredibly
27:49hard either way. But either way, I'm
27:51going to work on myself and I'm going to
27:53fix myself.
27:59I do wish a part of you sat me down in
28:02private and set up in front of your
28:04whole family that you wanted. I felt
28:06like that was respectful.
28:09and fair to me and Levi just having a
28:11private conversation at our house. I
28:14felt really humiliated and I think
28:16that's why I acted like a little crazy.
28:19I was calling you like non-stop and I
28:22was like, "What are you doing? Get to
28:23the bank." And I'm sorry for that. I
28:25felt like you weren't you had just told
28:27me the day before that you were open and
28:29willing and then the next day you were
28:30just ignoring me and I felt like I was
28:33unsure what you were doing because you
28:35had just made this huge mistake and I
28:37was unsure that you actually were
28:39willing to fix it and help me. And in
28:42the research I've done, I've learned
28:43that it is actually like illegal to do
28:48what you did to me with the finance to
28:49either steal, hide, or not tell me the
28:54full truth out of a joint account.
29:04Listen,
29:27the thing is is I
29:32with where we are at right Now, the only
29:35reason I said I need to go back to
29:38California and bring Levi with me is
29:41because it's either one of us that has
29:43to take care of him. And you're
29:46>> But you work full time. I'm the only one
29:49of his actual parents. Oh my god. He
29:51doesn't.
29:53>> I just
29:56>> Levi aside, please. I just
29:58>> I will
29:59>> want you to
30:01>> The thing is is you didn't say like I
30:03want to go back to California.
30:07>> I thought we could both go to therapy.
30:09>> You said you said if you take I said a
30:12week. Let me think on it for a week.
30:15>> Right.
30:15>> And you said if you take a week or
30:18anytime you need to tell me right now
30:20and if you don't you will never [ __ ]
30:22see your kid again.
30:24>> I apologize for saying that. the fact
30:27that I've apologized tremendously that I
30:29only said that because you had just said
30:31you wanted a divorce.
30:32>> Who in their right mind even as a
30:34mother?
30:35>> You just said you wanted a divorce.
30:36>> Who in their right mind would ever like
30:39that's like especially the time to say
30:41that to as a mother to their husband
30:45as the father.
30:46>> You would said you don't care. You told
30:48me I don't care if you take Levi to
30:49California. Take him.
30:51>> I said you can take Levi.
30:52>> You said I'm done.
30:53>> I didn't say I didn't care. I said, "You
30:55can take Levites, but legally I can't
30:58tell you no,
31:00and I can't do anything about it." Then
31:02you started to say, and you tried to get
31:04me to admit to you getting full custody.
31:09What was that about?
31:10>> No, I said, "Are you okay with me
31:12bringing him to California because I
31:13want to make sure it's okay with you?"
31:14>> You said,
31:16>> you said, "Am I is it fine if I bring
31:18him to California?" And I said I said
31:20sure but I can't say no because legally
31:24we are married we are mutual in that we
31:28are mutual we are we have until we can
31:31get court involved we are mutually his
31:34guardians
31:36and then you said well are you fine with
31:38me getting full custody then I said
31:41let's figure that out
31:43>> because because it was again
31:46>> backing me into the corner What I'm
31:48trying to say is I don't want to go
31:50through that and I don't think overly
31:53miserable for both of us and for Levi
31:57and I just
32:00I just like I know I've made many
32:04mistakes and I know but
32:07>> when I spoke Hold on please.
32:10When I spoke with your I spoke with your
32:13dad yesterday and what he told me was
32:16that everybody on your end has been
32:20saying whether it's your fault or mine
32:23that therapy would be helpful and
32:26everyone has been saying that this is
32:28not unfixable. We both love each other
32:30and that we're both great together.
32:33I just want I I wrote you that letter
32:37because I wanted you to realize that
32:38hardly realizing how much I need to fix
32:41and change.
32:43And I just want you to know how much I
32:45love you. And I am willing to I'm not
32:47kiddingly say that I will do anything.
32:50And I just want like if you just want to
32:53give it time where we're together and
32:56you see how therapy goes for me and then
32:59we decide later on. But I don't want to
33:01make a decision that both of us can't
33:05really take back. We can't just get a
33:08divorce and then be like, "Oh, actually
33:09like we're going to try to work on
33:11things for Levi later on down the line."
33:15And what are we like, how would we live
33:18to like I don't know what right now
33:21you're not paying rent and I I don't
33:23have a place to live. You have a place
33:25to live with your family. I have no
33:27place to live out here.
33:30I can't be alone and then just be
33:33raising leave by myself or having your
33:34mom do it but then be sitting in the
33:36house alone. I have nobody here and
33:39you're not paying rent. So I financially
33:41cannot support myself here and
33:43physically cannot support here.
33:46>> You would definitely not be able to
33:48financially like help yourself in
33:51California. And that's what I mean is
33:53like
33:54you're not thinking it fully through.
33:57>> I'm trying to think about it with you.
33:59If you take Levi to California, you can
34:02only live off of your dad for so long.
34:04>> I know that
34:05>> you can't just
34:09You can't live with Levi with a she
34:13>> I am trying to solve this. I don't see
34:18>> love. I've done nothing but forgive and
34:20let go.
34:21>> But you I haven't gone to therapy for
34:22the reasons. Now that I know truly this
34:25weekend you've opened my eyes. now that
34:27I know truly what you've said and taken
34:30it to heart and actually heard you and
34:32thought about it and maybe I needed time
34:34alone too. Like I didn't realize that.
34:37But what you've said to me and what I
34:40believe I wrote in that letter is what
34:41you had told me before I even opened my
34:43mouth and wrote that letter to you.
34:45There was a lot of things in that letter
34:47that you just said to me is one of the
34:49is the issues and what you need me to
34:51fix. And I need to do that to fix them.
34:57You fell in love with me for a reason.
34:59We got engaged for a reason. We got
35:00married for a reason. And on that
35:01wedding day, I don't think those tears
35:03were fake.
35:05I believe that we still have that and we
35:09can still find that again.
35:12And I've told you I am literally willing
35:14to do whatever you need me to do. You
35:17can give me a list of commands and
35:18things you need from me.
35:23I'm trying to say I still love you.
35:26And I believe you still love me too. It
35:28may be different now,
35:30>> but
35:31>> I love you guys.
35:36>> I love you because you are his mother
35:40and that you gave me him,
35:43but I don't love you for you.
35:46>> I get it. And I know you said you don't
35:49like hanging out with me. I get it.
35:51>> Do you see that you've been acting like
35:53your mother? Yes, that's what I read in
35:55my letter.
35:55>> You act
35:57and that's the thing is like I don't
35:59want to be put in Michael's position.
36:01>> Yeah, I know. I'm sitting on the couch
36:03for 27 years.
36:04>> What I'm saying is you've just I've just
36:07now been open to seeing what you had to
36:10say. I just would like you to give me a
36:13chance to fix those things. I can I'm
36:16home most of the time. I can go to
36:18therapy daily. I can go to therapy three
36:21times a week. I can help. I can go to an
36:24inerson therapist here. Like I can do it
36:30and I know your family already mine
36:31would be more than happy to support me
36:33doing that. And they can watch le I can
36:36bring back like I will find a way to
36:38make it work to make you happy. I am
36:41dying to make you happy. Like I am
36:43trying to do everything and I'm sorry I
36:45haven't been making you happy. That
36:48breaks my heart because that's the one
36:50thing I always want to do.
36:55Like I said, I love you unconditionally
36:58no matter what happens. Like I truly
37:00love you unconditionally
37:02and I'm sorry it made you feel like
37:03there were conditions to for me to love
37:06you. That's not true.
37:08>> Not to me it's not true.
37:12>> I admit I will go to therapy to get that
37:15fixed. I will go to therapy. And I also
37:17would like I also want you to realize I
37:20was pregnant with so many hormones
37:23flowing through my body and so many the
37:25blood flow changes like I was so
37:27desperate for sex all the time because
37:29that's all I had like physically I felt
37:31terrible all the time
37:33>> before as well.
37:34>> I understand that but we were trying to
37:36get pregnant before that. So it was sex
37:37was really important to me then. I would
37:40have sexy like every day cuz I was like
37:41babe we need to get pregnant.
37:44And I was worried I wasn't going to be
37:45able to get pregnant because of my
37:46health issues. And then when I had
37:48miscarriage after miscarriage, I was
37:50heartbroken.
37:53I was so worried I couldn't give you the
37:55family that you needed and like wanted.
37:59I was willing to go through like
38:01surgeries and go to the the clinic just
38:03to like have you like have baby with
38:06you.
38:09I wanted everything to make you happy
38:11and I still do.
38:14But now this weekend has opened my eyes
38:16and I just ask that you give me a
38:17chance. It's not going to be like my mom
38:19and dad. They have been together for 30
38:21plus years
38:23and I just don't want it to be where we
38:27have one conversation about divorce and
38:29you don't allow me to fix it. you you
38:32finally like I finally understand what
38:33you're saying and I can finally take
38:36that with me and go to therapy because
38:38before the the problems I probably was
38:41paying it like you were the bad guy
38:42because I wasn't listen I didn't
38:43understand what you were telling me
38:46but this weekend like I'm living without
38:48you I finally understand what you mean
38:50I've done so much reflecting I haven't
38:53even slept I haven't slept for three
38:56days
38:59I have barely had like I like I thought
39:02I was pregnant the other day cuz I'm
39:03I've been throwing up like I can't even
39:05eat. I feel sick over this. I feel sick
39:08from what I've done and I feel sick not
39:10having you around, not knowing if you're
39:12okay. I knew you were going to go back
39:14on drugs. I was like, I feel terrible
39:16for Mason.
39:21I knew that was the first thing you were
39:22going to do. And honestly, I don't know
39:23if that's been something you've been
39:25doing before with financing or in the
39:27past and you just didn't want to tell
39:28me. I don't know. But I feel like
39:30there's been a I've noticed a difference
39:31with you lately and I think it I
39:33honestly even told your dad I was like I
39:35think it's like he's back on drugs. I
39:37think that's what you were at the store
39:38if I'm being honest. I think you just
39:41didn't want to tell me.
39:43I just felt upset and lied to and I was
39:45so frustrated at you that I could never
39:48take the finger myself
39:52because I was really frustrated and felt
39:54like you weren't being honest with me.
39:57and I saw you change and I just didn't
39:59understand why you were changing and
40:00weren't giving me what you used to give
40:01me. And I realize it's because I kind of
40:04backed you into a corner and you stopped
40:06feeling like you could even be that cuz
40:08it wasn't enough.
40:10I understand that now.
40:13>> I do.
40:13>> It took me leaving to see it, but I
40:17tried to I tried to warn you about it.
40:20>> But you've never said I'm going to leave
40:21if you don't fix this. And I think it
40:23took that for me to be like [ __ ] We've
40:25both said we're not going to say the
40:27word divorce,
40:29>> right?
40:29>> Or we're not going to talk about being
40:31with other people unless it's serious.
40:33And you were the first one to bring it
40:35up.
40:37>> I know. And I apologize for that. And
40:39that's only because of my past with my
40:42family and the throwing divorce in the
40:44face. And I've apologized for that. I
40:45will never ever ever do that again.
40:48>> I do not want to be divorced from you. I
40:49do not want to live a life without you
40:51and without Levi and us.
40:54I've I've seen a glimpse of what that
40:57might look like and not even just my
40:59family aside and me moving back. I just
41:02can't stand the fact of like not having
41:05you not like I just didn't get a chance
41:07to change myself for you. And I'm sorry
41:10it took this long, but in hindsight,
41:12it's only been a year and we've been
41:13through so I didn't even get a chance.
41:15There were times we didn't even have
41:16insurance. I couldn't go to therapy
41:18without insurance.
41:20I always was like, "When do you have
41:21insurance? When do you have insurance?"
41:23I was trying.
41:26We were moving so much I didn't even get
41:28a chance to settle and have time to go
41:30to therapy.
41:32>> The only time is recently.
41:35>> You say you like you were dealing with a
41:37lot. I've done nothing but try to be
41:41good husband. Try and be there for you.
41:43Try and talk you through everything. Try
41:46and forgive you.
41:49>> I know you've been great. You don't need
41:50to tell me how great you've been. I
41:52realize that
41:52>> I'm not saying that.
41:54>> I'm saying
41:56I've done nothing but try and be there
41:58for you. I've done nothing but try and
42:01hear you out on things. I've done
42:02nothing but try and forgive you on
42:05everything.
42:06>> I know.
42:06>> And I know
42:07>> every
42:10It's like It's like pent up just pent up
42:13just pent up and bottled up. Bottled up.
42:15And I'm telling you, I kept bottling
42:17everything up until
42:19>> I understand. But another manipulation
42:21tactic that you do is you say name one
42:26time. What's one time?
42:28>> I relationship should not keep track.
42:31>> I get it.
42:33>> I wouldn't I'm I'm not even able to give
42:35you a downright answer to that
42:39>> at all. If that's what you're looking
42:41for, you're not going to get it. And
42:44if if it does wind up in divorce, it is
42:48what it is. And you just got to
42:50understand like you're going to better
42:52yourself for whoever you see next. But
42:55you got to understand Levi is also at
42:58play at that.
43:00>> I know. I don't want him growing up
43:02without you.
43:02>> Just hang
43:04>> even every day. Even every even once a
43:06week.
43:08>> It killed me to hear him cry when I
43:11left.
43:13It didn't kill me to hear you cry.
43:16>> That's because
43:17>> I cried at the chance. I cried at the
43:19wedding because
43:20>> I It was a facade of what I thought I
43:25was getting into.
43:27>> What can I do? I'm asking you like I
43:32just need like whether it's a few months
43:34of therapy, a month of therapy,
43:36>> depending on my depending on my
43:41depending on my answer. Like if I do
43:45say, "Yeah, let's let's work it out. I'm
43:49still living apart. I'm going to live at
43:51my parents house and it's going to take
43:55maybe a month or two of you going to
43:58therapy, but you will stay here." Like
44:01that's if I say yes.
44:04>> But that's coming around and you are
44:07actually having conversation with
44:11about things that's happened
44:13>> and you
44:17I I just need you to own it. Like
44:20there's no like
44:21>> I can
44:22>> I did it I did it because of this.
44:24There's none of that.
44:26>> Cuz as much as my feelings mean
44:29everything to me, my family knows my
44:32feelings mean everything to me, but
44:34their feelings also.
44:36understanding that my mother is just
44:40>> and I've seen the conversations with the
44:43text messages about my mother
44:47and how bad it got. I've seen the text
44:49messages with Mallerie.
44:51>> What do you mean?
44:52>> No, not with Mallerie. It was
44:54>> Bailey.
44:55>> It was just Bailey.
44:57>> I've heard the conversations you've had
44:59with my mother and my and with Bailey.
45:01I' I've read the text messages about
45:03your postpartum [ __ ]
45:05>> Yeah, I read you that one, too.
45:07>> No, you wouldn't let me read it.
45:09>> I did. I gave you a summary of what it
45:10was about, but I told you this is what
45:12it is, but I don't think wants me to
45:14share that she's relating to all this,
45:16too.
45:23>> But I I kind of I'm not trying to push
45:25you, but like you say you want me to be
45:29here for a month or two, but then you
45:31answer. And then I I don't know where
45:33that leaves me because I I can't live
45:36here alone. I have no support.
45:39>> That leaves you as a single mom and try
45:40to figure out where I'm going.
45:42>> But that leaves me with like I might as
45:44well just be back in California going to
45:46therapy if you're not here. Like I don't
45:47know what I'm doing.
45:48>> No, because as you said, the betterment
45:50for Levi is
45:51>> being here, right? No, just together.
45:54Him not going to bed with you, him not
45:56waking up with you has changed him. Like
45:58he's already
45:59>> looking through his [ __ ] Like he's
46:02fine with He's only fine with He's so
46:04attached to me now that like he will not
46:06leave my side. He does not like
46:08unfamiliar faces. He's been like I I
46:12know you say you want to live at your
46:14parents house, but and I understand, but
46:17maybe there's a point where we can go
46:19like back and forth where it's like
46:22weekends versus weekdays because I do
46:24think it's important that Levi sees you
46:26every day and not only you, but us
46:28together because he's fine with me like
46:29alone. But what I'm trying to get at is
46:33Levi like is missing that time with us
46:35together. Like he looks at when we're on
46:37the couch, he looks at like both of us
46:39He enjoys both of us together
46:41and not seeing us together as his
46:43parents this early on and not like doing
46:46things and watching him grow together
46:49and being on the same page about that is
46:52what I'm saying is important. Like you
46:54can use your parents house as a safe
46:56space and keep some things there if you
46:59like. But I feel like
47:02>> you're already at work so much
47:04>> and then you come home from the gym. I
47:06wouldn't be ready until policy change.
47:09>> I understand
47:10>> and
47:11>> but I don't know how we're going to
47:13raise Levi like that.
47:14>> You already don't work. And I'm not
47:16saying for the full month or two that I
47:19wouldn't move back in,
47:20>> right?
47:20>> It's not what I'm saying. What I'm
47:23saying is for a month or two I need to
47:26see change.
47:28So whether that's I'm taking time apart
47:31and I'm at my parents house, you can
47:33still call me like Levi's doing this.
47:36I'll come over. I'm only 2 minutes on
47:38the road. It's not like I'm across from
47:40San Diego and you're going to be ahead.
47:42>> But what about like how are we going to
47:44do that? I'm just going to call you when
47:46he's fussy. Like trade off like I'm not
47:49going to be allowed to get your parents
47:50out. Like how is that going to work?
47:51>> No.
47:52>> How am I going to go to the gym? How am
47:54I doing this?
47:57>> It's called being a mother.
47:59>> I He doesn't have a daycare. I don't
48:01have We don't have money for a babysit.
48:03You won't lend me any more money.
48:05That's what I'm saying is we still if if
48:07I'm going to stay here and make this
48:09work, we still need to have a sit down
48:11on finances because I can't just keep
48:15buying everything for Levi and care for
48:17him 24/7 and then only when you are
48:20available and around you do it much.
48:23>> What about at night? Like even
48:26like I don't understand why you don't
48:27want to live with your own son and wife.
48:30>> I want to live with him.
48:32I've said this. I don't not want to live
48:35with my kid.
48:36>> Is there any way you can try being home
48:38and if you hate it, go right back to
48:39your parents house and then we come. But
48:42I just ask that you just give it a shot
48:44because it is so hard not being our
48:47usual routine that Levi is clearly
48:50picking up on it.
48:51>> You would be able to
48:52>> and I can get therapy every time you're
48:54at work every day.
48:57>> We would live separated for a day
49:00if you ever needed anything.
49:03But how is he how am I going to like put
49:04on bed at night and then come to like
49:06how am I doing this all by myself?
49:09>> I don't have family though. My mom can't
49:12live with me for a month. You're not
49:13understanding. You have the family. I
49:16don't have the family. You get to go
49:17home to a cooked house, a clean house,
49:19your parents house, your parents driving
49:20you that can go to the store for you. I
49:22don't have that.
49:25And I know that I put myself in this
49:27position, but that's why I'm saying I
49:30don't know how this going to work. If we
49:31completely split and like separate and
49:33we already act like we're divorced. That
49:35is such a big change than acting like
49:37we're still trying.
49:38>> Yes, it is. And
49:39>> and why can't we act like we're still
49:41trying?
49:42>> Still trying is you're around.
49:45>> But you can't spend time with me. You
49:47won't see me every day. Like you're only
49:48we're only splitting off with Levi.
49:50>> Like what about me and seeing if you and
49:52I have changed? What about like day
49:54nights to see like how my progress is
49:55going? And like what about us time? I
49:58feel like living together is important
49:59because let's say you think I'm fine and
50:02then you move back in with me after a
50:03month or two and you're like actually
50:05know living with you is like terrible
50:07again. And then we've wasted two months
50:09where I'm like I could have therapy.
50:15What I want is for Levi and us to be in
50:18one house.
50:20>> And I understand that might not happen
50:21today.
50:22>> Again, I'm telling you how I feel and
50:24what I think is right. I understand
50:27that. But I'm also telling you after
50:29living with Levi what I think is best
50:30for him and after I've seen him for the
50:33past two days. And I'm also tell trying
50:35to share and open up with you that I
50:37don't have anyone to lean on. I don't
50:40have anyone but a babysitter, a stranger
50:42to help me through this. I don't have
50:45anyone when I'm like not feeling well or
50:48sick or have a car issue or like have
50:50appointments. I don't have anyone.
50:53>> If you have a car issue, you could take
50:57if like you you can't you can feed him
50:59out in public. You're not whipping out
51:02>> your boob to feed it.
51:04>> What I'm saying is
51:06>> you're not listening. What I'm truly
51:08saying is
51:09>> I can't go like do all these same things
51:11that I need to do to better myself
51:15>> if I am just living here alone. And how
51:18like mentally and emotionally like am I
51:20even going to talk to you like as we
51:22usually do or are you just going to be
51:23like we're just friends right now while
51:25we work through this? How is this going
51:28to work moving forward? And why I just
51:32want to know why you at least you're two
51:34minutes from me. Why if if you really
51:38could just try to
51:43think about coming back and and your
51:45parents are only two minutes down the
51:46road. You can walk out at any time.
51:50Just tell me I'm going back to my
51:51parents house.
51:53I You've upset me. I'm going back to my
51:55parents house. You need to work on
51:56therapy tomorrow.
51:57>> Not because
51:59>> I can do that.
52:00>> Then I would be doing what you're doing.
52:02>> I will go over to Can I go over to your
52:04families today and talk to each of them
52:05in private?
52:06>> Hang on.
52:08If I do that, I'm doing what you do and
52:11that's using your feelings against you.
52:13>> What do you mean?
52:15>> It's a manipulation thing. I'm doing
52:17this for you.
52:17>> It's the minute the minute if I were to
52:20stay with them and the minute that you
52:22make me upset, I say, "No, you use that
52:24in therapy."
52:26>> You've been telling me that I'm the
52:28problem and I need to go to therapy.
52:31>> And you've been using my feelings
52:33against See, it's the same thing.
52:36>> What do you mean feelings against you?
52:38>> It's when I bring up you said this is
52:41why
52:43>> and then I would say I would say no.
52:45Like
52:46I am I am the most levelheaded person. I
52:49really am.
52:49>> I know.
52:51>> But if I were to put you in that
52:53predicament,
52:54>> I then become the movie.
52:57>> No, cuz I I think it's fair at this
52:59point. If you're if you tell me your
53:00feelings,
53:01>> it's not
53:02>> I just need you to be honest. Instead of
53:04storming out, I just need you to be
53:05like, you've done this to upset me.
53:07Please, I work on it. I'm just going to
53:09go to my families for a bit and then we
53:12can work out who gets to leave by that
53:14night or who wants to take you by that
53:15night. Like we can work this out, but I
53:18need you to like communicate with me. I
53:20need you to like not ignore me. I need
53:21you to like actually work with me, not
53:24against me
53:25>> with and like answer my calls and answer
53:28my texts.
53:29>> I'm not ready to give you an answer
53:31today.
53:32>> And you can come over and you can
53:34>> I would like to talk to you. call them
53:36and have one-on-one combos.
53:38>> I would like to talk to your family and
53:40I can bring Levi over later and talk to
53:42your family if they're
53:43>> That would be great. You can bring Levi
53:45over and I can spend a lot of time with
53:46him.
53:47>> Okay.
53:47>> While you're having conversations there,
53:51>> uh my mom's there, my dad.
53:54>> Okay.
53:55>> Okay. And I I know you don't have an
53:59answer for me now, but I my I no I
54:05understand but like I said you still at
54:09some point have to come to
54:14like some sort of agreement where you
54:16feel like you're like okay we can say
54:17you're working out and you go to therapy
54:19and I spend this these days with you or
54:22like I do have enough or I try to live
54:25at home but then things don't go well I
54:27go home. I just need like I'm not asking
54:30for an answer of whether you want to be
54:31with me or not. That's not what I'm
54:33asking for.
54:35out of the betterment of Levi. Yes, I
54:37would want to be with you.
54:38>> Yes.
54:39>> But out of my benefit is
54:42>> I don't know if I'm happy with you.
54:45>> That's that's the whole like I love you,
54:47but I don't know if I like you.
54:49>> And that's why I need the space is I
54:51need to I need to see that I like you
54:53again.
54:54>> Understand? But how
54:55>> I I can I can love you. I I can love
54:57you, but right now I don't lust for you
55:00and I don't like you. How can I show you
55:03that if we don't spend time together?
55:06>> I'm not saying we won't spend time
55:07together within those month or two.
55:09>> When would we?
55:10>> I'm not saying that.
55:12>> And how do I treat you? Do I still see
55:13you as my husband where I still like
55:16like talk to you like I like love you or
55:18do like how am I supposed to communicate
55:20with you?
55:21>> I'm I can't tell you that.
55:23>> But I don't know like if I'm like
55:25sitting here like admiring you, flirting
55:26with you, or like trying to just show
55:28you I love you and you're like
55:29>> that's trying to get back. That's That's
55:32trying to be back together. Like it's
55:34>> But that's what I thought we're doing.
55:35>> It's It's what you should be doing.
55:37>> That's what I want to do.
55:43>> I just ask that you really consider the
55:45being at home with Levi cuz it is so
55:47hard to care for him independently and
55:50my family cannot be here forever.
55:53>> And I don't want them to be here forever
55:55cuz I
55:57>> am happiest with you at home.
55:59I told you if you would like to move
56:01forward. If you want to move in
56:03tomorrow, I can have her gone. I'm not
56:05kidding.
56:06>> It's It's not even just gone. It's
56:09>> She can I will have a talk with her.
56:12>> When my dad came by,
56:14>> when my dad came by, I know what she
56:16said and I know what was done.
56:18>> I know.
56:19>> She's called me an abuser.
56:20>> I know.
56:21>> Never.
56:22>> I have told her that. I understand. I
56:24just want to know cuz I understand she
56:27didn't want me to be with you. She was
56:28like all scared I was you and I told her
56:31this is my marriage I need to go fix it
56:33I need to go try to see where his head
56:36is at this for me not for you this is
56:38not your relationship
56:39>> do you remember the conversation I had
56:41with you where I said your mother's
56:43going to be the devil in your ear and
56:45she's going to sit there and create a
56:46wedge
56:47>> yes
56:48>> this is the wedge
56:50>> going to work and like after work if you
56:52want instead of like being at the house
56:54I can bring Levi over and like when I go
56:58to gym, you just get your own space and
56:59then I see you out after work sometime.
57:01We hang out like an hour or two at the
57:02end of the day or you come home and
57:04sleep. I like
57:05>> we can figure we can figure it out for
57:07the month or two that you would stay
57:10here.
57:10>> Yeah, I would like to hang on.
57:12>> That's what I'm saying.
57:14>> Hang on.
57:16So, for like maybe
57:19first couple weeks, I'm still at my
57:21parents house. And if you need to go to
57:23the gym, you can bring it by and I watch
57:26>> and I can watch him at the house. I can
57:29watch him at my parents house. I have a
57:31bassinet. I can take the the changing
57:34station bassinet. He can sleep in that.
57:36>> Well, I do feed him still.
57:39>> I can get formula. I understand to hold
57:43>> all the time. It pumps about an ounce.
57:46So you've gone just going to the gym. I
57:48fed him just for that.
57:51>> Just hang on.
57:52>> Like I see
57:54>> Hang on. But you you want me to try and
57:56give you a plan? I'm just trying to give
57:57you a plan. So can you I'm trying to
57:59speak.
58:00>> Yes.
58:02>> So just I wonder if your mind is racing
58:06like a million miles because mine does
58:08this. But I've had to learn to wait to
58:11speak and then I forget things and then
58:15that's when you tell me name one thing
58:16and I forget.
58:19But just give me a minute.
58:23If you do and if I decide that I want to
58:26wait for a month or two to see if this
58:29works for the first couple weeks it's
58:32going to be you need you need to go to
58:35the gym. You can bring him over after
58:37I'm done with work. I'll tell you, hey,
58:39I'm home. I'm over at my parents house.
58:42You can text me or I can text you like,
58:45"Hey, I'm over at my parents house." You
58:47know what time I usually get home? And
58:49then you can be like, "Hey, I'm bringing
58:51Levi over. I I'm going to head to the
58:54gym." And I'll watch Levi while you're
58:56at the gym. We'll still have our
58:58standard our our daily
59:00>> is our daily tasks of watching Levi.
59:05>> For the first couple weeks, it would be
59:07that
59:08And then depending on how I see an
59:12attitude change, depending on how I see
59:14certain things, like when you come back
59:15from the gym, it's no longer you just
59:17come back
59:18>> and then you're scrolling on your phone
59:19or whatever and I'm taking care of Levi.
59:22It's no longer that you would be there
59:24and then you would be a mother and a hus
59:26and a wife
59:29>> and you would be with my family
59:32>> until I see change because my issue also
59:35is family.
59:37best if I'm not saying I'm not trying to
59:39be pushy, but would it be like I don't
59:44know if this is a good idea or if it
59:45would be a good idea, but if I like I
59:50can spend the days at like our house or
59:53whatever, but if I if you want me to be
59:56like more around your family and just
59:58like see how I am, but like be at your
1:00:02family like if I actually if we just
1:00:04live there together And then I can go
1:00:07home like in and out. Like it doesn't
1:00:10have to be every day. I'm staying with
1:00:11your family, but like I can give you
1:00:12breaks. Like I can give you space. But
1:00:16>> just living where then they can see and
1:00:19they it would be helpful like if they
1:00:21can like if if I have a therapy session,
1:00:23I can just be like, "Hey, can you watch
1:00:25him for an hour therapy session?" And
1:00:26then I can still feel comfortable, feel
1:00:29safe, and not have to be all alone,
1:00:32which will also like be a huge part of
1:00:34my mental battle. Like having to
1:00:37completely be stripped of my own family,
1:00:39friends, and you get it
1:00:40>> is so dramatic.
1:00:42>> I get what you're saying. I get what
1:00:43you're saying.
1:00:46>> Like I don't it doesn't have to be now.
1:00:49I can still give you like a few days. So
1:00:52I'm already like give you guys space and
1:00:53time.
1:00:56I'm not saying it's a bad idea.
1:00:58>> I just think it might be better for me.
1:01:00>> I'm not saying it's a bad idea, but
1:01:04you got to see being alone actually
1:01:06helped you in a way where you've been
1:01:08understood.
1:01:11>> I know. But being alone, understanding
1:01:15that when I'm gone,
1:01:17>> understanding like how hard it really
1:01:19was,
1:01:20>> that helped you understand a little bit
1:01:22more.
1:01:23>> Yeah.
1:01:26I'm saying I I'm just seeing it from a
1:01:29separate
1:01:29>> What I'm saying is I can go back and
1:01:31forth, but I don't want I don't want it
1:01:32to be where it's like, no, the first
1:01:34month I'm sleeping every night at my
1:01:36parents house, Levi can spend with you
1:01:38and then I get like no
1:01:40>> I'm saying my feelings would come into
1:01:42play where if I feel like
1:01:46>> like it's not like a week and then a
1:01:48week later I'm moving in because that's
1:01:51very structured and that's very planned
1:01:53out.
1:01:53>> I know.
1:01:54I don't like I can't structure my
1:01:56feelings. I can't plan out my feelings.
1:01:57>> What I'm trying to get at is I just want
1:01:59it to feel somewhat normal but only for
1:02:02like so you can actually see how I'm
1:02:06treating you on a month so it doesn't
1:02:09take you like actually three four months
1:02:11and maybe instead it would take you a
1:02:13shorter time to be like oh she is making
1:02:14changes. She's doing more around the
1:02:16house.
1:02:17like actually listening to me because I
1:02:20feel like living apart brings in an
1:02:23aspect of like what's it's just we're
1:02:27not like together enough if that makes
1:02:30sense like how we are at the end of our
1:02:34day where you come home from work and I
1:02:35switch off with Levi and stuff. I just
1:02:39and like I don't know how to build that
1:02:42like love and flirting connection with
1:02:44you again in a healthy way
1:02:47if we're not spending that quality time
1:02:51together as much as we can and as little
1:02:53as we can because I feel like this is a
1:02:54time now where I know right now we both
1:02:57feel like we need space but
1:03:00when I am starting to get help that it's
1:03:02so important for like us to actually be
1:03:04together and Levi is still so little
1:03:06it's just so important.
1:03:08>> No. And the best literally the best
1:03:11chance I have with being with Levi is to
1:03:14be with you.
1:03:18>> That's the best.
1:03:20>> I just propose that you are more than
1:03:23welcome to come home whenever you want
1:03:25and I will have my mother and family
1:03:27gone and I will speak to my mother. And
1:03:30that's also one thing I'll work on with
1:03:31in therapy is I know how much she's done
1:03:34to you and been a role in like my
1:03:37That has probably made me point the
1:03:39finger more at you than I should have.
1:03:41>> And I am willing to let that
1:03:43relationship go for you and for Levi
1:03:46because it is a problem.
1:03:48>> You try and strive for her approval and
1:03:51you try and strive for her love as much
1:03:54as you can
1:03:55>> and you can't force on me to just accept
1:03:59it.
1:04:00>> Yeah, I know.
1:04:01>> Which you've been.
1:04:02>> I know. So you got to understand like
1:04:05your mother is a whole separation.
1:04:10>> Okay. And
1:04:11>> your dad your dad called me and he was
1:04:14like she's he like your dad called my
1:04:16dad.
1:04:17>> He didn't call me but he called my dad
1:04:19>> and my whole family heard it.
1:04:21>> Yeah.
1:04:22>> And they were he was like he was like so
1:04:24what's going on? Like this is complete
1:04:26left field. They were completely fine
1:04:29when when I was there and now this has
1:04:33happened.
1:04:34>> Yeah.
1:04:34>> And my dad explained the situation and
1:04:38he was like, "Your dad said she sounds
1:04:41like him." And my dad's like, "Yeah, I
1:04:44didn't want to say it, but it is." And
1:04:46he was like, "I feel bad for Mason."
1:04:49>> Yeah.
1:04:50>> He's like, "I feel bad for Mason. I'm so
1:04:51sorry. Is Mason doing okay?"
1:04:53>> Like your dad's your dad's literally the
1:04:56only I don't know. Cuz what he's been
1:04:59saying to me is just like he can't
1:05:00believe he would walk out and not give
1:05:02me a chance if you were just me wife and
1:05:05that pregnancy and like postpartum like
1:05:07the most hardest challenges in a woman's
1:05:09life. And like he just doesn't
1:05:10understand why you left and walked out
1:05:12and like didn't even come like you just
1:05:15packed up your stuff in 20 minutes. Like
1:05:16it's like the house is never there. You
1:05:18took everything with the paintings. It's
1:05:20like you were never there. And it's so
1:05:21sad.
1:05:22>> You you made me get rid of everything.
1:05:25So I I didn't make you get rid of
1:05:27everything. I told you. I asked you what
1:05:28furniture you wanted me to buy and we
1:05:30bought it together.
1:05:31>> I understand. You had a whole furnished
1:05:34house when we moved down here.
1:05:35>> Yes.
1:05:35>> And I had a whole furnished house when I
1:05:39lived here.
1:05:39>> Uhhuh.
1:05:40>> And when I decided to move in with you,
1:05:43we got rid of everything cuz you didn't
1:05:45like it.
1:05:45>> We kept the shelves. We got rid of your
1:05:47bed because you said it was broken. And
1:05:49we got rid of your leather couch because
1:05:50it was torn up by candy.
1:05:52>> That's That's not That's not what I'm
1:05:53getting at. And the you said it smell
1:05:55like paint and I've seen your dogs pee
1:05:57on it and I just feel
1:05:58>> it's not what I'm saying.
1:06:03>> I understand.
1:06:04>> I've got rid of my dogs.
1:06:05>> I understand.
1:06:07>> Like my dogs were my world.
1:06:09>> I know.
1:06:12>> And
1:06:14blue legit was like I've I've tried
1:06:17reaching out to the shelter and I've
1:06:18tried reaching out to the person I gave
1:06:20to
1:06:21>> and thriving.
1:06:24Blue's
1:06:26contacts cut me off.
1:06:28>> So I tried reaching out and I kind of
1:06:31explained kind of the situation
1:06:33>> like recently.
1:06:34>> Uhhuh. So I explain the situation what
1:06:37was going on
1:06:38>> and then I tried to text him again and
1:06:41then
1:06:46>> so like these are the things where I'm
1:06:49like
1:06:53>> I've understood I've been unhappy for a
1:06:56while but I put on
1:06:58>> Yeah. And
1:07:02it's not I don't have wandering eyes or
1:07:04anything, but like I was searching for
1:07:09what I was getting with
1:07:12>> like I never really like actively talked
1:07:15to anybody.
1:07:16>> Uhhuh.
1:07:17>> But it was kind of more just like
1:07:20I'm trying to figure out like like
1:07:23looking at looking at other couples and
1:07:26stuff like I'm not looking at women but
1:07:28I'm couples.
1:07:29>> Is it like Anastasia?
1:07:31>> No. No. This would be This would be like
1:07:35back in Salt Lake with
1:07:40>> Who is the couple?
1:07:44>> Yeah.
1:07:46>> The Jimmy
1:07:47>> at Boston.
1:07:50>> Oh,
1:07:52Anthony.
1:07:58Do you like?
1:07:59>> No, I'm not saying I like you. I like
1:08:01the couple.
1:08:02>> Yeah.
1:08:03>> I looked at how they how they had that.
1:08:06And
1:08:07>> I was kind of more like
1:08:10I I I was missing that.
1:08:12>> Yeah.
1:08:13>> And I was striving for that.
1:08:15>> That's how we used to be at the gym.
1:08:16Like I understand we were like the power
1:08:18couple and I hate that. Like I also
1:08:21realize that that's been
1:08:24just been faded for a little bit now and
1:08:26I just
1:08:28I I miss that. Like when I say I miss
1:08:30you at the gym, it's not that I just
1:08:31miss you being there. Like I miss what
1:08:34we have.
1:10:22I barely ate today. I barely ate
1:10:25yesterday before.
1:10:27>> I don't know. I've had like three bites
1:10:29of food. Yesterday was the worst day of
1:10:30my life. I didn't see you once.
1:10:34Talk to you.
1:10:39Like I was over with
1:10:42I was with my family
1:10:45and
1:10:48every time I saw
1:10:51the stuffed animal elephant
1:10:54like
1:10:56I saw that and I saw his swall.
1:11:01I
1:11:03I just broke down.
1:11:08my parents neighbors,
1:11:12they would ask me how I'm doing.
1:11:17The bad thing is they were like, you
1:11:19know, it's like good for you for doing
1:11:22what you did.
1:11:26And everyone I talked to,
1:11:29not just
1:11:32>> everyone I talked to said,
1:11:34>> I just private
1:11:38at a certain point.
1:11:40I know that. I know. I understand. But
1:11:42not like that many outside where now I'm
1:11:45like looking like the devil in the like
1:11:49scenario. And I understand that like
1:11:51I've been some of like a lot of the
1:11:54problem,
1:11:55>> but I just like
1:11:56>> I appreciate
1:11:57>> I have to go fix these like
1:11:59relationships with people that you know
1:12:02>> and I understand I'm willing to do that.
1:12:03Like if I hurt someone's feeling I told
1:12:05you I will always go up to it and go to
1:12:08it and that's I'm going to do today like
1:12:10>> the best advice the best thing you could
1:12:13have done is
1:12:16>> because as I've talked to Jordan about
1:12:20kind of what's been going on
1:12:22>> and when I was
1:12:26I was sitting there and I was in the
1:12:28impression like you can't change what
1:12:31you can't change
1:12:33and he said to me the best thing that
1:12:36you could have done is right Now today
1:12:39the best thing you could have done is
1:12:42and he said my dad went to therapy and
1:12:45he goes my dad was never around he'd go
1:12:47to work he'd go upstairs and he go to
1:12:49sleep
1:12:50>> I never saw it
1:12:52>> and it took a lot of battle but once he
1:12:54admitted fault he went and got therapy
1:12:58and admitted that
1:13:01admitted true about arguments and was
1:13:05honest with himself about a lot of
1:13:08you've done the
1:13:10>> I said I'm not you can't change a tiger
1:13:12stripes and he goes yeah but if the
1:13:14tiger sees his behavior you can change
1:13:18>> it's like a dog like if a dog a dog can
1:13:21attack but if the dog understands
1:13:23attacking is bad
1:13:24>> I saw the like what I was seeing how our
1:13:28relationship was it was like you would
1:13:30do the what I would consider like the
1:13:32bigger things where I was like you
1:13:34[ __ ] up you messed up but then I never
1:13:36like realized that you would do it
1:13:38because like you were either super
1:13:41stressed or like there was just little
1:13:43things that led you to do these like
1:13:45bigger things. So I just looked at the
1:13:47bigger things being like well you did
1:13:49this and I now understand like why you
1:13:52did some of the things you did and why
1:13:54you've been more distant and like I just
1:13:56I was always asking you like do you just
1:13:58not love me anymore? Do you just not
1:14:00love me anymore? And the words that came
1:14:01in your mouth were like, "No, I still
1:14:02love you. Like, I love you even more
1:14:03now, just like in a different way." But
1:14:06I think subconsciously like both didn't
1:14:09realize that you were drifting apart
1:14:12because of these little things. And I
1:14:15see that now. Like that's why you've
1:14:17been not as like touchy feely and not
1:14:18wanting to initiate and things like
1:14:20that. And you know, as we work together
1:14:23through therapy, like we still are
1:14:25married. And I hope like we can still
1:14:27give each other the respect of wondering
1:14:30guys, I'm not going to like it's
1:14:32illegal, but I'm not going to like go
1:14:33out and like go hook up with someone or
1:14:36like go like talk to someone else like
1:14:38or go look at porn. Like that's just not
1:14:40fair to you. If we're trying to make
1:14:41things work, I'm still going to keep the
1:14:44same
1:14:46like list of expectations and like
1:14:48morals I have if we're going to make
1:14:50this work. Like it'll be hard, but and I
1:14:54I just ask that like you can do the same
1:14:57for me because
1:14:59I don't want it to be like this month is
1:15:01where you think about things, but then
1:15:03you're going like with like another
1:15:04girl, you're going to gym like asking
1:15:06for this number because not only is that
1:15:08like not allowed because you're still
1:15:11married, but it's just not going to help
1:15:14us and it will only hurt me and give me
1:15:16a harder time trying to go to therapy
1:15:18and fix things. And like like even now
1:15:22you're just like sitting here doing
1:15:23drugs. Like I understand why and I'm not
1:15:26going to blame you and put you at fault
1:15:28for it, but now it's like going to be
1:15:30like where I have to think like is this
1:15:33something you're going to get back into
1:15:34for the next like few months? Is this
1:15:36going to be like something where like
1:15:38Levi's now like exposed to and I like I
1:15:41have to talk to you like you're not in
1:15:43like complete sober state of mind.
1:15:45You're in like this numbness of nicotine
1:15:48and like
1:15:50>> I don't know. I just feel like
1:15:53I if we are gonna like try to do this, I
1:15:56want to do it the right way and the
1:15:58healthiest way
1:15:59>> and I want to be in the most respectful
1:16:00way of each other so that it will only
1:16:02help so there's no opportunity for
1:16:04things to become more hurtful this month
1:16:06>> or become bigger issues.
1:16:14I always remind myself
1:16:23>> I see hummingbirds.
1:16:26>> I see everything.
1:16:28This town you our house everything.
1:16:33by our house.
1:16:41>> I drive up the road.
1:16:47I still been going to the gym.
1:16:56I haven't been able to eat.
1:16:58I like literally feel like I can throw
1:17:00up. I've taken so many test.
1:17:06I couldn't sleep. My heart rate was like
1:17:08100 all night.
1:17:15That's why I think like I'm not I don't
1:17:18know. What I'm trying to say is like we
1:17:21both feel this way and we're having such
1:17:22a hard time. I don't think it's like the
1:17:25point to call it quits because my dad
1:17:28and my like looking at my dad and my
1:17:29mom, they're happier without each other.
1:17:31They don't they wouldn't even be sick
1:17:33for a night like spending without each
1:17:35other. They don't care. Like that's how
1:17:37I know the relationship is over. But
1:17:38when I look at us and I'm like I still
1:17:41think of you. I know you're still
1:17:42thinking of me. Like I saw you last
1:17:44night Snapchats and I was like I wonder
1:17:46if you save yourself with Levi or what
1:17:47he's doing.
1:17:48Like
1:17:51>> you block me.
1:17:54>> Yeah, I figured you were doing that cuz
1:17:55either you were going to block me or you
1:17:56worried I was going to block you.
1:17:58>> And like
1:18:02I just like like tomorrow I was
1:18:04literally going to like be like if Mason
1:18:07doesn't want me, if he's not going to
1:18:08talk to me, if he won't even come like
1:18:09talk to me, then I know it's over. like
1:18:11I know it's fully over and I just need
1:18:14to pack up my things
1:18:16on and I know you said time but I was
1:18:18like I he I already told him that I
1:18:21might be going out to California so I
1:18:22was like he knows that like that is on
1:18:25the table and
1:18:28it's
1:18:31I just I know what we have is not over
1:18:34and I know I can be so much better for
1:18:36you and I can be the person you want me
1:18:38to be and we've created a beautiful life
1:18:41together and that's why all like our
1:18:43friends and family like everyone around
1:18:45me has been so shocked because they've
1:18:48seen like my I was looking at my
1:18:49Instagram last night and your Instagram
1:18:50last night and I was like our whole
1:18:52Instagrams are just each other like we
1:18:55are each other's life we spend every
1:18:56second together. I was like if I wipe
1:18:59you completely like
1:19:04and I just can't I just can't imagine
1:19:06wiping you completely for my life and
1:19:09traveling back and forth. So Levi and
1:19:11Abby split up and they're like, "Here's
1:19:12the kid. Bye." Like, I can't imagine
1:19:15hating you. I can't imagine doing that
1:19:17life with you.
1:19:25Even you being two minutes apart has
1:19:27killed me. I'm constantly thinking,
1:19:29"What is he thinking? What is he doing?
1:19:31Where is he? Is he off at the gym? Is he
1:19:33off doing drugs? Is he okay?" Like, it's
1:19:35this cuz sometimes Ree will pop up and
1:19:37be like, "We don't even know where Mason
1:19:38is." And every Last night I was
1:19:40horrified. Like maybe he needs to call
1:19:41like where did he go? Like is he okay? I
1:19:45he didn't even respond to me. I was like
1:19:47this is looking so bad. I was so sick
1:19:49all night. I was like Mason didn't even
1:19:51read my text. Like I've tried
1:19:54everything. I'm trying now. Like this is
1:19:56I just hope he gives me respect to and
1:19:58I'm glad you did. I'm glad you came out
1:20:00here because I didn't want it to be
1:20:02today or tomorrow. I'm just like okay
1:20:04I'm going to pack my things and go.
1:20:07I wanted to give us one more chance to
1:20:09like talk things honestly without
1:20:11cameras, without people around us that
1:20:14we know.
1:20:16I just wanted to be alone with you
1:20:18because we started our relationship
1:20:19alone with no one else watching us
1:20:26like this. Thought it was fair to have
1:20:29it with you alone and not feel like
1:20:32judged or recorded or anything.
1:20:37So, thank you for coming out and like
1:20:45I just can't apologize enough to you
1:20:51and I'm sorry you don't feel welcomed at
1:20:53home and I'm sorry you don't feel like
1:20:54you can be you can even like
1:20:58be with me and be like in the house. I'm
1:21:01sorry that we feel that way. Like that
1:21:03kills me that you just packed up and
1:21:05left and you couldn't even be around me
1:21:07or Levi. Like you'd rather leave us. And
1:21:09that tells me like how hurt you are.
1:21:14And I'm really really sorry,
1:21:19but I want you to know that I'm not like
1:21:20my mom. Like she wouldn't be sitting
1:21:22here fighting for this.
1:21:28You always said you wanted me to like
1:21:30fight for a relationship and you just
1:21:31never saw it. And I would always like to
1:21:33try and divorce in your face. I was
1:21:35wrong to do that.
1:21:39But just like you said a week ago how
1:21:41you will never leave me and Levi,
1:21:44I will not be the one to leave you.
1:21:49I should have always had those like
1:21:50moral stuff to make things work. And
1:21:53instead of like threatening that, I
1:21:54should have been working on myself
1:21:57or we should have been going to therapy
1:21:59together. Like I should have just
1:22:02stopped saying that and just gone to get
1:22:03to help.
1:22:07I'm sorry that there were days at work
1:22:09that you felt like you didn't want to
1:22:10come home.
1:22:14I look forward to you coming home. Like
1:22:16even if I'm mad at you and I'm sorry and
1:22:18in future now I know like we just need
1:22:21to talk things out and we like I can't I
1:22:23shouldn't do that to you or you feel
1:22:25like I'm ignoring you or cuz I felt
1:22:28ignored by you this week and I know what
1:22:29it's like now.
1:22:36I wanted like nothing more this week
1:22:38than to just like have this conversation
1:22:40with you.
1:22:43I was counting on hours till 11:00
1:22:46hoping you would be here.
1:22:59I just hope that you
1:23:02see that the tiger thing that I
1:23:05recognize it
1:23:08just in two days.
1:23:15I know there's more to do, but
1:23:28just even now being with you like I
1:23:31already have such a different respect
1:23:33and like love for you that
1:23:36and like
1:23:37I don't think I'm manipulating you that
1:23:39I'm just telling you these things just
1:23:41to like have you say and I'm not going
1:23:43to work on them because that's not true.
1:23:45I never want to be in this situation
1:23:46with you again.
1:23:48I will do everything I can to avoid
1:23:50this.
1:23:53And there's every time you're like, "No,
1:23:54I think you really do need space. I can
1:23:56go back to California. I can just like
1:23:58we can move apart for a little bit."
1:24:04I just don't want to call a decision so
1:24:06big as such as divorce when now I
1:24:09finally recognize my behavior
1:24:13and your your family being upset with
1:24:15me. I I honestly I'm a bit confused
1:24:20because when I've talked to your mom and
1:24:22dad
1:24:24in the past few days,
1:24:26they're so confused. Everyone's
1:24:28confused. I don't know what they've been
1:24:29saying behind closed doors,
1:24:32but I know that they must not be telling
1:24:35you like, "No, this is the right thing.
1:24:38Get like just never speak with her
1:24:39again."
1:24:43because what I talk when I talked to
1:24:45them that's not what they told me. So
1:24:47either we one of us is being told lies
1:24:50or I don't know but
1:24:53that's not the point.
1:24:55>> I don't base entirely what I want to do
1:24:57off my family.
1:24:58>> I understand that and that's not the
1:25:00point. But I was just trying to get at
1:25:03is that I will go make things right with
1:25:05them. But I also want you to know that
1:25:07like none of them have I've never
1:25:09realized that any of them had a problem
1:25:11with me besides the last time.
1:25:15And then
1:25:17I thought everything was fine. Like I
1:25:19don't I thanked her mom tremendously. I
1:25:21know she was like upset with us for not
1:25:23sending us cards out, but I can't like
1:25:26think of anything else. Like I think she
1:25:28was upset with how my mom was like
1:25:30planning things and behaving and it was
1:25:32hard for me to navigate that. Honestly,
1:25:34I didn't know who should be throwing my
1:25:36baby shower. Like, it was so hard for me
1:25:37to pick and so hard for me to like
1:25:40figure out what to do. But I realize now
1:25:43that my mom is a bigger problem in our
1:25:44relationship than I thought.
1:25:51I was just trying to respect my mom
1:25:53because I still love my mom,
1:25:56>> but I realize she's hurt our
1:25:58relationship.
1:25:59>> I know.
1:26:02Dad told me that when I when I got
1:26:05>> I think it was what I just
1:26:09>> in having this time. I also understood
1:26:14what your dad meant.
1:26:15>> Yeah.
1:26:15>> But your dad also saw that you were kind
1:26:18of like him.
1:26:20>> He saw it was kind of more like, hey,
1:26:25>> you love her. Yeah. But do you like her?
1:26:27because he's he's seeing like Ava had
1:26:31the boot end of the sick always. So Ava
1:26:34will turn or Ava has turned out like
1:26:37your mother.
1:26:39>> I've never heard those words coming off
1:26:40then I'll talk to him about it because I
1:26:42don't if that's how he feels that's like
1:26:44something I want to talk to him about
1:26:45more and go to therapy for
1:26:48>> like I know you're telling me that and I
1:26:51>> I took it out of I I see it as like now
1:26:56that's what he was get at is
1:27:01so she has a lot of
1:27:04I'm paraphrasing
1:27:08but she has a lot of issues with her
1:27:12mother that has happened.
1:27:14>> Yeah.
1:27:14>> And
1:27:28She's had a lot of issues that's
1:27:29happened with her mother
1:27:31>> and
1:27:33there's there's a lot that
1:27:36she's done to Ava
1:27:39that will come up
1:27:41>> now she's older. So your dad
1:27:44I have a feeling your dad knew a little
1:27:48bit about kind of what's going on. I
1:27:50just have high expectations like my mom
1:27:51and I think like it's just because she's
1:27:53been putting in my ear and sorry
1:28:00that's why I said
1:28:02like I can have her gone I can talk to
1:28:05her about this
1:28:08I said multiple times
1:28:13just
1:28:14>> okay I will that's why I'm saying I will
1:28:17sit her down while she's still probably
1:28:19face to face like I'm doing with you
1:28:21now. And I'll tell her how I feel and
1:28:24done her time working through things. I
1:28:26need space from her and I need her to
1:28:30just stay out of it.
1:28:31>> It hurt me the understanding that the
1:28:36woman that abused my wife
1:28:40>> mentally, emotionally, physically,
1:28:42>> right,
1:28:43>> and still abuses her husband
1:28:46>> Yeah.
1:28:47is going to be with my kid.
1:28:49>> I know. I know.
1:28:50>> And that's why I said like I told you
1:28:53like if we're having a kid, your mother
1:28:55never.
1:28:57>> And now she's alone.
1:29:05Pretty sure she's on my
1:29:14This is not ideal for me. I had no I
1:29:17asked my dad if he would come instead
1:29:18and my mom was the only one that could
1:29:20come. I didn't know how I was going to
1:29:22like even go to sleep at night, take
1:29:24care of Levi. Like I was just left. Like
1:29:26you left. You packed yourself and left.
1:29:28Like you wouldn't talk to me. I just had
1:29:29nothing else to do. I have no friends in
1:29:32town that that you weren't going to
1:29:33call.
1:29:36>> I'm just saying I just want you to know
1:29:38that that is not ideal and I don't like
1:29:40having her out watching me either. I
1:29:42agree with you.
1:29:43>> It's not ideal.
1:29:44>> I agree. I understand. And it's also I I
1:29:47get it. It's not
1:29:50your first choice.
1:29:51>> I agree.
1:29:52>> Especially because your mother is
1:29:54nothing but the aggressor and your dad
1:29:56is the passive will hear both sides and
1:30:00kind of
1:30:01>> he's the more loving.
1:30:03>> Yeah.
1:30:03>> And you needed loving and you asked for
1:30:05loving. I know. I know what happened
1:30:07without even talking to you. I know what
1:30:09happened.
1:30:10>> You tried to get your dad down here.
1:30:11Your dad is a loving support. Your
1:30:14mother's noticeable.
1:30:15>> Yeah.
1:30:16>> Your mother's one-sided and the
1:30:18aggressive.
1:30:19>> Yeah.
1:30:24>> Like I I I could have told you what
1:30:26happened.
1:30:32>> But Adelia is turning out to be the
1:30:35exact same as
1:30:36>> I know.
1:30:39>> Well, she spends time with her. The more
1:30:40she I hang out with her, talk to her,
1:30:42the worse it is. That's why I'm saying
1:30:44>> you are the
1:30:47you're the middle ground between the
1:30:50two. You're you're a lot of Michael.
1:30:52That's why I said you like there are so
1:30:55good times. There's so many good times.
1:30:58But when the Kim comes out,
1:31:00>> I know
1:31:01>> the Kim comes out and it's manipulative.
1:31:03>> Yeah.
1:31:05>> So that's why I'm saying is like
1:31:08>> there's really good times. There's a lot
1:31:11of things that
1:31:19we've done and that we've experienced
1:31:22that were really great.
1:31:24>> Yeah.
1:31:26>> I know.
1:31:27>> And and I'm not saying that it's not
1:31:30fixable, but I just need to see the
1:31:33change.
1:31:34>> Yep. I get it.
1:31:35>> But I wouldn't be able to give you the
1:31:38answer today.
1:31:40>> Okay. Well, I just know that you work
1:31:42and I just don't know what this like
1:31:44next week looks like for us and I just
1:31:48want to
1:31:49at least spend some time with you.
1:31:52>> We just got to take it day by day. We
1:31:55got to take it day by day and
1:31:58>> in the meantime I asked like
1:32:00what you're going to be doing with like
1:32:04and like what about sexual needs? Like
1:32:06what are we doing? like what are we
1:32:10like what I I still want to like set
1:32:14some sort of like boundaries that we
1:32:17have for one another because I feel like
1:32:19we're still married. It's not like we
1:32:21can just act like we're not we still
1:32:24have every tie to each other.
1:32:30And like I said, I don't know how to
1:32:32like rebuild our lab and stuff.

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