Jordan Peterson: Why Women Love Jerks — Transcript

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1. 0:00there is evidence that more disagreeable
2. 0:02people are more likely to be successful
3. 0:04as managers now why
4. 0:07well bode Rowe who wrote a paper called
5. 0:10effects of personality on executive
6. 0:12career success said the following
7. 0:14agreeableness associates with being
8. 0:16trusting submissive and compliant which
9. 0:19could be perceived as naivete docility
10. 0:21and a tendency to follow rather than
11. 0:23lead
12. 0:23alright so that's his opinion but then
13. 0:27here's what he measured so these are
14. 0:30effects of big five traits on career
15. 0:33success now you know career success can
16. 0:35obviously be defined a number of ways
17. 0:36could be career satisfaction or it could
18. 0:39be like external markers of career
19. 0:41success and they did both so we're going
20. 0:43to look at direct because that's the
21. 0:45external sort objective markers what you
22. 0:48see is that if you're high in
23. 0:50neuroticism that's not so good for how
24. 0:53much money you make there's a negative
25. 0:54correlation above 0.3 which by the way
26. 0:56that's a big correlation so you know
27. 1:00you'll hear people say that 0.5 is a
28. 1:02large correlation in point 3 is moderate
29. 1:04you don't point to as small and that's
30. 1:06wrong and that that was clarified four
31. 1:10or five years ago I'll get the paper for
32. 1:14you I can't remember it was an American
33. 1:15psychologist but the guy who wrote the
34. 1:17paper what he did was he looked at a
35. 1:18whole bunch of social science studies
36. 1:20and then calculated how frequently
37. 1:23different effect sizes showed up and
38. 1:25what he found was that 0.5 was
39. 1:28unbelievably large you know what that 5%
40. 1:32of social science studies ever got a
41. 1:34correlation 2.5 it's like if you get a
42. 1:36correlation 2.5 in your study you've
43. 1:38either made a dramatic error or you've
44. 1:40replicated something that's already well
45. 1:42known or you know you're in science
46. 1:44because it never happens point three
47. 1:47that's a pretty good correlation so so
48. 1:52the fact that neuroticism is negatively
49. 1:54correlated with how much money you make
50. 1:55how likely you are to ascend and then
51. 1:58how close you are to being CEO obviously
52. 2:00the effect size decrease so neuroticism
53. 2:04is also sorry extraversion is a
54. 2:08reasonable predictor only of how much
55. 2:12you're ascending and it's pretty
56. 2:13small openness has a correlation with
57. 2:17how much money you make but that's
58. 2:20probably because openness is highly
59. 2:21associated with intelligence and so
60. 2:23openness is not a good marker for
61. 2:26intelligence IQ tests are much better
62. 2:27markers so that's an attenuated
63. 2:29relationship but then you look at it
64. 2:30realness
65. 2:33it's negative 0.32 in total put negative
66. 2:37point two four for direct in terms of
67. 2:39how much money you make so you know
68. 2:41that's an interesting thing because one
69. 2:43of the things that determines how much
70. 2:45money you make is how willing you are to
71. 2:47say no right because if you're
72. 2:50negotiating with someone then the only
73. 2:54thing you have at your back is your
74. 2:56ability to say no and to push it or even
75. 2:58to ask for a raise and you know pushy
76. 3:00people are much more likely to ask for
77. 3:01raise and of course those who ask for a
78. 3:03raise are much more likely to get it so
79. 3:05the guys who are hard to get along with
80. 3:07because most of the people who are hard
81. 3:08to get along with her guys are more
82. 3:10likely to be paid more they're more
83. 3:11likely to ascend the corporate ladder
84. 3:13they're more likely to be close to the
85. 3:15CEO in terms of proximity and they're
86. 3:19even more likely to be rated as
87. 3:21employable it's funny hey because you'd
88. 3:24think that you know if you're agreeable
89. 3:26and easy to you long with and all that
90. 3:27that people would be more likely to rate
91. 3:30you as a suitable employee but that is
92. 3:31bright that's the opposite seems to
93. 3:33happen so disagreeable extroverts are
94. 3:38narcissists and there's some evidence
95. 3:40that you can derive from this data you
96. 3:41don't because there's always this talk
97. 3:43about disagreeable extroverts or
98. 3:45narcissists being more likely to rise up
99. 3:47to CEO level and there is some evidence
100. 3:51for that at least insofar as
101. 3:52agreeableness is a negative predictor of
102. 3:54doing such alright so so one of the
103. 3:58things we've just found is that one of
104. 4:01the predictors for ascendancy and
105. 4:03proximity to a high status position is
106. 4:06low agreeableness now the next thing you
107. 4:10might think about is well what what role
108. 4:12does that play in terms of the factors
109. 4:14that men and women find attractive at
110. 4:16each other so you might say well what do
111. 4:20you want to mate if you're a woman you
112. 4:22might say well you know you want someone
113. 4:23who's kind and loving and forgiving and
114. 4:26empathic and
115. 4:27those are all good things but but it
116. 4:29isn't necessarily the case that the
117. 4:31empirical studies show that that's what
118. 4:34drives mate selection so we could look
119. 4:36this is the interesting study so it's a
120. 4:38few years old thousand French Canadian
121. 4:40respondents four hundred and thirty
122. 4:44three males and seven hundred females
123. 4:46and so here here are the variables one
124. 4:48is possesion of resources it's a
125. 4:50composite index composed of occupational
126. 4:53prestige income and education and then
127. 4:57the other variables acquisition of
128. 4:59partners sexual partners that is number
129. 5:02of lifetime and preceding year sexual
130. 5:05partners lifetime occurrence of
131. 5:07simultaneous partners which is yes or no
132. 5:09variable and lifetime frequency of
133. 5:11simultaneous partners one two five with
134. 5:13five being very often here's the
135. 5:17assumption you can you know decide for
136. 5:20yourself if you think this is a
137. 5:21warranted assumption the number of
138. 5:23partners a member of sex a acquires is
139. 5:26taken as an index of how often this
140. 5:28individual is chosen by sex B so that's
141. 5:31an indication of reproductive fitness
142. 5:33desirability at least as assessed by
143. 5:35members of the opposite sex who you
144. 5:37would think would be the logical judges
145. 5:39for that sort of thing male criteria 166
146. 5:46unattached women ages 25 to 50
147. 5:48correlation between fertility rates and
148. 5:51number of partners in previous year
149. 5:52equals 0.9 for males choose fertility
150. 5:55indicators Beauty waist-to-hip ratio
151. 5:59youthful appearance and neoteny spatial
152. 6:02features the oughtness means there's a
153. 6:05tendency among animals as they evolve to
154. 6:10increasingly look more in their adult
155. 6:12stages like their juvenile forms so
156. 6:15here's here's an example it's if you
157. 6:17look at the skull of a baby chimpanzee
158. 6:19it looks almost exactly like the skull
159. 6:21of an adult human so what's happened is
160. 6:24we've as adults were more like baby
161. 6:27chimpanzees then the adult chimpanzees
162. 6:30are we we've we've what maintained a lot
163. 6:34of our juvenile characteristics
164. 6:36playfulness you know the ability to
165. 6:37continue to learn plasticity all those
166. 6:39things
167. 6:41there's a preference in objective beauty
168. 6:45analysis say of facial features for men
169. 6:48to prefer more jnanis female faces so
170. 6:51and you can tell that if you look at
171. 6:53pictures of models they generally have
172. 6:55relatively small noses relatively big
173. 6:57eyes the sort of things that are
174. 6:59associated with cute and cute actually
175. 7:01is a pretty pretty identifiable category
176. 7:04most of the things that people find cute
177. 7:07have large eyes and relatively the rest
178. 7:10of their facial features are relatively
179. 7:11small there's other things that are
180. 7:13associated with cute that aren't
181. 7:14necessarily associated with you know
182. 7:17sexual attractiveness because cute
183. 7:18things also have sort of random
184. 7:20movements like baby like movements and
185. 7:22so the things that people and you know
186. 7:24relatively short arms and just think of
187. 7:27a teddy bear so anyways those are the
188. 7:29male those are the male criteria
189. 7:31agreeableness is one of the five
190. 7:33dimensions of the big five we all know
191. 7:35that and it can be broken down into
192. 7:37these two aspects compassion and
193. 7:39politeness and so you can kind of figure
194. 7:40out how agreeable you are by looking at
195. 7:43these items they're all positively
196. 7:44scored for the sake of simplicity so if
197. 7:47you intensely feel others emotions if
198. 7:50you're always in crow inquiring about
199. 7:52how others are doing and you actually
200. 7:55care rather than doing it for the sake
201. 7:58of show if you if you're capable of
202. 8:00sympathizing with other people if you
203. 8:02respect authority if you don't like to
204. 8:05seem or be pushy and you don't like to
205. 8:07impose your will on others then you're
206. 8:09an agreeable person and a disagreeable
207. 8:12person or antagonistic person obviously
208. 8:13is the opposite of that so there don't
209. 8:17feel people's emotions very profoundly
210. 8:20they're not really all that concerned
211. 8:23automatically about how other people are
212. 8:26feeling and they're not that sympathetic
213. 8:29it's funny because in my clinical
214. 8:31practice I can tell the difference
215. 8:33between the agreeable people and the non
216. 8:35agreeable people because when the
217. 8:36agreeable people come and they have a
218. 8:38cup of coffee they always bring me one
219. 8:40but when the disagreeable people show up
220. 8:42and have a cup of coffee they only bring
221. 8:44a cup of coffee for themselves so it's
222. 8:47quite comical actually so now you might
223. 8:50think that you know because our our
224. 8:54what would you say our society is at the
225. 8:57moment tilted towards regarding
226. 9:00agreeableness as a virtue
227. 9:01you know because you should be kind and
228. 9:03you should be empathetic and you should
229. 9:04be compassionate and all those sorts of
230. 9:05things but our research this isn't
231. 9:09published yet because it's complicated
232. 9:11to to communicate and we haven't figured
233. 9:13out how to do it yet but what we've
234. 9:15found is that if you push any of the
235. 9:18traits too far they fall off a cliff
236. 9:21fundamentally so if you get too
237. 9:23agreeable then you're dependent and you
238. 9:24can't make decisions and so on and maybe
239. 9:26you're kind of a Freudian either pull
240. 9:28mother - right you're so you're so
241. 9:30concerned with your with your child's
242. 9:33well-being that you can't you're not
243. 9:35harsh enough to send them outsider or
244. 9:37make them do anything they don't want to
245. 9:39do because it might upset them and so
246. 9:41that's not so good and then if you're
247. 9:42too disagreeable well I already said
248. 9:43what that was like if you take
249. 9:45antisocial people who are in prison you
250. 9:48know they're they're aggressive and
251. 9:49violent and you know the criminal types
252. 9:52and they're they're predatory are low
253. 9:55and agreeableness so you can see how
254. 9:56that's a bad thing but then in the
255. 9:58middle range it it gets more complicated
256. 10:00because then agreeableness that where
257. 10:02you're located on the normal
258. 10:04distribution how good that is depends to
259. 10:06some degree on what it is that you are
260. 10:08going to do so one of the ways to think
261. 10:11about how to maximize your success in
262. 10:15life is to attempt to match your
263. 10:17personality to the environment you know
264. 10:19you might think that if how you raised
265. 10:22your children mattered then children who
266. 10:26are raised well
267. 10:28would be more similar than children who
268. 10:30were raised badly because that would
269. 10:31reflect the effect of your parenting
270. 10:34right so you've done a good job as a
271. 10:36parent so your children are more similar
272. 10:38where someone who just ignored them
273. 10:39those children are different but that's
274. 10:41actually the opposite of what happens is
275. 10:43that the children that are neglected are
276. 10:46more similar and the children who are
277. 10:47attended to well are more different and
278. 10:49the reason for that I think is the same
279. 10:52reason that we see more pronounced
280. 10:55differences in egalitarian societies
281. 10:56which is if you care for your children
282. 10:59it means that you make a very individual
283. 11:01relationship with each of them so you're
284. 11:03not necessarily using the same
285. 11:05strategies for each child and
286. 11:07you think of them as meta strategies and
287. 11:09like a meta strategy might be well I get
288. 11:11to know you and I get to know you and
289. 11:13because you're different people I react
290. 11:15differently to you and what's what
291. 11:18constitutes my philosophy of parenting
292. 11:20would be act differently towards the
293. 11:23children's differences and so maybe if
294. 11:26you're particularly good at that your
295. 11:27children turn out maximally different
296. 11:29from one another and that's because
297. 11:32you're allowing their genetic
298. 11:33differences to manifest themselves you
299. 11:34know what oppressing them you know when
300. 11:36trying to cram them into the little box
301. 11:38that you think that they should fit in
302. 11:39now the downside of that is that you're
303. 11:42going to get differences you know and
304. 11:43some of them might be quite surprising
305. 11:44to you